very sweet, muce

FEB 29 - 12:07AM
muce: What's the matter?

rwoodard238: to be honest i wanna die

FEB 29 - 12:08AM
muce: Ok, I mean, that's a big statement

muce: I have felt the same way, often

muce: Is there a reason, or is it more general than that?

rwoodard238: there is a reason

rwoodard238: but i cant say it in public

FEB 29 - 12:09AM
muce: Ok

muce: Wll, have you been feeling like that a long time?

rwoodard238: is 4 years a long time?

FEB 29 - 12:11AM
muce: Well, it's subjective, but yes I would say so

muce: Have you ever tried getting help?

rwoodard238: yep it doesnt work they just mask it with medicine instead of actually help

muce: From family, or friends, or a doctor? Or has that never crossed your mind?

FEB 29 - 12:12AM
rwoodard238: all 3

muce: So why are you still here?

rwoodard238: i dont know

muce: Well, try and think

FEB 29 - 12:13AM
muce: What has kept you here, and focus on that in the short term

rwoodard238: like alive?

muce: Getting help for depression is a long process, and you have to be persistent, which is really ******* hard when you're epressed

muce: Yes, alive

FEB 29 - 12:14AM
rwoodard238: im not sure what keeps me alive

FEB 29 - 12:18AM
muce: It's worth thinking about

FEB 29 - 12:19AM
muce: How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

rwoodard238: im 15

FEB 29 - 12:21AM
muce: Ok

muce: Well I really don't want to patronise you, and I'm gona try really hard not to, because when people used to say shit like this to me when I was 15, I felt really patronised

FEB 29 - 12:22AM
muce: I've suffered from suicidal depression from about the age of 13, maybe even younger, before I was 20, I tried to kill myself twice

rwoodard238: oh...

muce: I abused every drug under the sun, I spent literally years in bed doing drugs and self harming

FEB 29 - 12:23AM
rwoodard238: ...

muce: But

rwoodard238: this is what i hate about trying to get help

rwoodard238: people always try to turn it about themselves

muce: I'm only 23, I have a girlfriend I love, I have a job I like

muce: I haven't self harmed or wanted to in a long time

muce: I'm not trying to make i about me

FEB 29 - 12:24AM
rwoodard238: i ask for help then people try to one up me and make my depression worse

muce: I'm trying to use myself as an example that, no matter how terrible and hopeless you feel, it can get better, and it can get better

muce: I'm not trying to one up you dude, I;m sorry it seems like that

FEB 29 - 12:25AM
muce: How you feel is the worst ******* thing in the world, and is a totally valid and fair way of seeing the world

muce: And I'm really genuinely sorry you are in so much pain

rwoodard238: ...

FEB 29 - 12:26AM
muce: But I know it can get better, and things that seem impossible now can be your reality

rwoodard238: so me actually being who i want can become real?

FEB 29 - 12:27AM
muce: Yes

muce: It really can

rwoodard238: i feel..happy

FEB 29 - 12:28AM
cooliscooldudes: yeah

cooliscooldudes: your perception of life

cooliscooldudes: perception

cooliscooldudes: perceptions aren't reliable always

cooliscooldudes: so anything could be possible

FEB 29 - 12:37AM
muce: yes

muce: I have to go now

muce: stay safe bud

rwoodard238: okay bye bye