Mental Mayhem: Stage 6 and Epilogue

Stage 6: Ego Trip

>The six ponies and the two mental urges crowd into the elevator and wait for it to bring them up to the control room.
“Id, are you masturbating? I insist you stop that at once!” demands the Super-Ego.
“Fuck off, pansy!” growls the Id.
“Please stop arguing,” says Twilight, “And Id, take your hands out of your pants. That’s really gross.”
>Finally, the doors open.
“Good, you’re back,” says the Ego.
“Yep! Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity found Ed, and me, AJ, and Dash found Jeff!”
“For the last time, Miss Pie, my name is-” says the Super-Ego, then stops himself, “No, you know what? Forget it. I don’t even care anymore.”
“So, now you three can recombine and we can go home,” says Twilight.
“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid we won’t be doing that,” says the Ego.
>The ponies jump as a gunshot rings through the room. The Super-Ego looks down in shock at the bleeding hole in his chest, and he collapses to the ground, dissolving in a burst of static.
>The Id roars and charges towards the Ego, who fires the gun again. The Id falls to the ground, clutching his bleeding hip. Another shot to the head, and he’s gone too.
“Wha-What are you doing!” shouts Rarity.
“Ya killed them!” shouts Applejack.
>The Ego points his gun at them.
“Relax. I can’t kill them. They can only be hurt permanently by physically destroying part of the brain. They’ll be back, but not in time to save you.”
“It was you, wasn’t it,” says Twilight, quietly, “Discord did corrupt part of Anon, but it wasn’t the Id or the Super-Ego. It was you all along.”
“Ha! I always did like you best, Twilight. Such a clever pony.”
>The Ego snaps his fingers, and the dark room brightens as lights on the ceiling flicker on. For the first time, the ponies see him clearly. He’s gray. He nods his head towards his gun.
“Like it? It belonged to my great, great, great grandfather. He used it in the Civil War. Well, not this one, this is just a memory. The real one’s sitting in my grandfather’s study. Of course, this means I don’t have to worry about reloading. I can shoot this all day, so don’t make any sudden moves or try any magic, or else-”
“Or else what?” says Rainbow Dash, defiant as ever, “You’ll kill us?”
>The Ego smiles.
“No. I’ll kill one of your friends. If you don’t want that on your conscience, I suggest you calm down.”
“Why didn’t you just kill us when we first showed up?” asked Twilight, glaring at the Ego.
“Oh, it would be so cliché to explain my plan,” says the Ego, “but on the other hand, it is fun. Look, the Elements of Harmony are a powerful weapon. You don’t hide a weapon. You use it.”
“But you can’t use it,” squeaks Fluttershy, “Only we can.”
“Which is why I needed you alive. I sent you out to fetch my idiot brothers to buy time while these,” he holds up a hand, and an earpiece appears in it, “copy your personality and traits. With the data, I could create thought-form copies of you six and send them back in your place. By the time the princesses realize the Element Bearers are under my control, I’ll have freed Discord and paved the way for a new era of chaos. It was the perfect plan. So unfortunate you had to lose your earpieces. Thankfully, we have enough time to finish making the copies.”
>He summons five more earpieces and tosses all of them in front of the ponies.
“Put them on.”
>None of them make a move.
“I said, put them-”
>The Ego’s eyes open in shock as the hand holding the gun falls off and drops to the floor. For a moment, all he can do is stare at the bleeding stump. Then he starts to scream.
“WHAT! HOW IS- GAAAAH!”
>Twilight’s horn glows, and suddenly, the Id and the Super-Ego appear next to the Ego. The Super-Ego shakes the blood off of his sword.
“I’m afraid, dear brother, that you the Id and Super-Ego you shot were only memory copies of us.”
“I knew something was fishy when you split us up,” says Twilight, “It didn’t make sense, you sending Rarity, Fluttershy, and myself after the Id. It would have been easier to reason with them rather than forcing them. We should have been sent to the Super-Ego, and AJ, Dash, and Pinkie should have dealt with the Id. So as insurance, we decided to get some memory copies of the two of them, and I cloaked the real ones with an invisibility spell.”
>The Ego, pale and sweating, starts to sway, but the Id grabs his shoulders and holds him up.
“You fucked now,” the Id growls into his ear.
“Well put,” says the Super-Ego, “Shall we, brother?”
>He thrusts his sword into the chest of the Ego, while at the same time the Id bites into his neck with his sharp teeth. The ponies shield their eyes as a brilliant burst of light fills the room.
>Where the three mental functions once stood is now a single figure.
>In one hand, it clutches the Super-Ego’s cane. The other hand bears the Id’s curved claws. Its head has three faces; the Ego in the center, the Id on the left side, and the Super-Ego on the right. Slowly, its six eyes open.
“I-is it over?” asks Twilight.
>The figure looks at her and smiles.
“No.”
>It raises its sword and charges at them.

>The tripled face monster swings its sword at Twilight, who dodges to the side. Applejack goes in for a buck, but the triumvirate steps out of reach and delivers a roundhouse kick that sends the orange pony flying into a nearby computer terminal. Rarity levitates a monitor and hurls it towards the Triumvirate, but it’s cleaved in two with its sword. Before it can raise the cane sword again, Rainbow Dash cannons into its head while Fluttershy tackles its legs from behind. The Triumvirate is flipped by the two impacts and lands face down on the floor. Pinkie jumps on its back, wrapping her forelegs around its neck in an attempt to choke it. Before she can get a grip, it jerks its three-faced head backwards into Pinkie’s face, stunning her and knocking her off. It stands above her and raises its sword, ready to chop the little pink pony in half.
>Pinkie squeezes eyes shut as the sword begins to swing downwards, but the strike never comes. Cautiously, she opens her eyes to see the sword hovering inches above her. The Triumvirate’s left clawed left hand grasps the shaking sword hand.
“NO! NO HURT!” roars the Id face.
“Get away Pinkie! We can’t hold it!” says the Super-Ego.
>Pinkie rolls to the side just before the sword finally completes its swing.
“Come on! It’s eight-on-one now! We can do this” Pinkie shouts.
>The Triumvirate’s clawed hand swipes at Rarity, but is blocked by the flat of the sword blade. The middle face, the Ego’s face, screams in frustration.
>Applejack runs up to the distracted creature and knocks it onto its back with another kick. It drops the sword, which Rarity tosses away with her magic. Dash and Fluttershy each jump onto an arm, and Pinkie jumps on its chest.
“Twilight!” shouts the Super-Ego face, “The memory spell!”
“Do now!” shouts the Id.
>She teleports next to the pinned down Triumvirate’s head and touches her horn to its center forehead. There’s a flash of light, and all the ponies are thrown back by the sudden burst of energy.
>As the dust clears, they see the figure now laying in the center of the room.
“A-are you…?” asks Fluttershy.
>The figure, now with a single, familiar face, smiles.
“Yeah, I’m me again,” says Anonymous, “Thanks.”

>Back in the real world, the ponies wake up one by one.
“Did it work?” asks Celestia, worried.
“Why don’t you ask Anonymous, dear sister,” says Luna, smiling.
>The princesses turn to the human, as he pulls off electrodes and carefully tries to extract the IV.
“Goddamn needles. I fucking hate needles,” says Anon, “Oh. Um, h-hi Princesses.”
“Don’t worry,” says Celestia, “I’m just glad to see you are alright.”
“Thanks to those six. They really saved my bacon in there.”
>The six ponies smile with pride.
“I knew I could count on you,” says Princess Celestia, “I’m very proud of all of you.”
“I’m just glad it’s over,” says Rainbow.
“Not quite yet,” says Celestia, “Anonymous, where did you hide the Elements of Harmony?”
“Oh, right! One second, please.”
>He gets out of the bed and kneels next to it. Reaching underneath, he withdraws a large sack and upends it onto the bed covers. A crown and five necklaces tumble out.
“Seriously? Ya hid them under the bed?” says Applejack.
“I’m not a clever man. Besides, it worked, didn’t it?”
>They all laugh.
“Seriously though, Anon, you’re banished from Canterlot,” says Celestia.
“What?”
“Sorry, but until we get the Discord statue sealed further, I think it’s best you stay away.”
“Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Sorry for all the trouble, and thanks for saving me”
“Hey, don’t sweat it Sugarcube,” says Applejack, “We’re yer friends, and we know ya’d do the same fer any of us.”
“Hugz tiem!” shouts Pinkie, leaping onto Anon.

Epilogue:
>On the train back to Ponyville, the ponies talk to one another, excitedly recounting thei adventures. All but one, pony, that is.
“Hey Twilight,” says Anon, “You’ve been awfully quiet. Is something wrong.”
“No, it’s nothing.”
“Twilight. Tell me.”
>She sighs and turns to face Anon.
“I’m not sure how to say this. When we were in there, we saw some bad stuff, Anon. You’ve got a savage monster, an arrogant jerk, and a cold, calculating psychopath inside of your head. And yet, you seem fairly normal.”
“Fairly normal? Thanks.”
“You know what I mean Anon. How can you be a decent person with those things in you? How can I be normal if I have things like those in me too?”
>Anon thinks for a moment, and then smiles.
“Twilight, you know chemistry, don’t you? What’s Sodium Chloride?”
“Table salt.”
“Exactly. Sodium combusts in water, and chlorine is poisonous gas. But combined, they make a common condiment.”
“What are you saying? That our flaws cancel each other out?”
“What I’m saying, Twilight, is that a person is not defined by his components, but by what he is as a whole. Everyone’s got problems, but you have to see who they are as a whole. And on the whole, you’re a pretty cool pony.”
>She smiles.
“Thanks Anon. You’re pretty cool, too.”
“Just remember. Separate pieces have problems, but a united whole is strong. Make sure you keep your friends close, Twilight Sparkle.”
“I will, Anon. I will.”