The Great Hunt (moonponies) (haitus)

>'My dearest Twilight,'
>'I know you've done well in keeping abreast of the current re-integration efforts of my sister and her children, but there has been a new development.'
>'They now wish to conduct a Great Hunt in the Everfree forest as part of their yearly traditions.'
>'As a token of goodwill and willingness to embrace them, I hope that you accept their proposals, but now that you are a princess, it is time for you to take some responsibility.'
>'I leave it to you for the final descision. Their delegation will arrive at your castle in ten days.'
>'Your teacher and friend, Celestia.'
>...
>You are Twilight Sparkle, and you are definitely not prepared for these horseapples.
>You need to get the girls there for this meeting.
>They'd love to meet the Kind and Queen of the Moon, if anything.
>Perhaps also to be on-call should something happen.
>Not that you're saying something will happen!
>But just in case.
>Rarity will definitely have some ideas on how to decorate and prepare for something this regal.

>A knock on your door signals the arrival of the Queen's security detachment.
>You open it and give your warmest greetings.
"Hello, you must be Captain Frigoris Insularum. Welcome to Castle Friendship!"
>She bows in the darkening road, along with the rest of her group.
>Their armor of thin, flowing plates black as the night sky, slide across each other with an unnerving silence.
>The design of the plates accomodates the amulet at the center of her chest emblazoned with Nightmare Moon's cutiemark
>Along several of their ears they wear earrings, long loops of silver with the thinnest metal strands connecting a few of them, holding aloft faintly-glowing stones
>You try not to stare too long
>You'd give your left wing to study one of those.
>They stand again, silent as ever
>They're all much taller than you, too.
>Somewhere between your height and that of Princess Celestia
>But their limbs are so much thinner and longer than yours
>Only the ten pairs of glowing slitted eyes alerts you that you've been staring.
>Your days around the castle and other guards had lead you to expect, and eventually ignore, the clinking of metal plates and buckles that always accompanied the movements of guards
>But now its abscence is louder.
>"Good evening, Princess Sparkle," she responds in the signature voice of a moonpony
>Despite a pitch near Pinkie's level, there is a low whispering tone the accompanies every syllable, leaving faint traces of an echo when they stop talking.
>"We are here to begin preparations for the arrival of the All-Father and All-Mother for negotiations."
"Of course, of course. Please, come in."
>She nods and enters, followed by another nine moonponies all clad in armor.
>You can't help but stare again at some of the moonpony stallions that pass by you
>You really hope none of them noticing you eyeing their flanks
>Or that your face doesn't betray your imaginations of what their stallionflanks look like under all that armor
>"Princess Sparkle."
>You turn back to the Captain.
"Oh! Yes?"
>"Please, can you show us to the meeting room? We'd like to get set up."
"Yes, yes, right this way."
>They follow, of course, silently
>You can't tell if it's professionalism or awkwardness.
>Knowing you, it's probably awkwardness, so you try to start up a conversation.
>Definitely not in a bid to learn more about them.
"So, Captain, have you been a royal guard for long?"
>"Yes, but we call it the Core Guard. I oversee the Galaxy of Mother Moon's guards, but the ponies in the Cluster with me are the hoof-picked best of the best, except for those guarding Mother Moon and Father Anon back home. My family has served as guardians as far back as our house-founder, Insularum."
>Resist, Twilight.
>Don't take out a quill and scroll here.
>You can trust your memory to write this down later.
"R-really? I'm surprised that cutiemarks related to defense have continued that many generations. Even the Apple family gets a few outliers every now and then. I wonder if that's from An--Father Anon's bloodline?"
>She stops for a moment and looks at you, her glowing slit-iris orbs piercing into your soul.
>"I will forgive your ignorance this time, Princess, as you are probably not well-acquainted with our ways, but please refrain from referring to our King by All-Father, or our Queen by Mother Moon. Those titles are for their children, and their children alone. I wouldn't call your mother "Mommy," so please refer to them as King Anonymous and Queen Selena."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'll be sure to remember that in the future. Heh, silly me..."
>She turns and continues down the hall, and you eager catch up, happy that she's ignored your rudeness.
>"As for our cutiemarks, they do not bind us to a talent, but to our house. I have the same cutiemark as our House-Founder, as did my mother, and grandfather, all the way back. New cutiemarks only emerge with each New Moon."
"Really? Spike, take some--I mean, I'll have to remember that too."
>Close call there.
>You lead them to a smaller chamber and open the door
>You had initially thought to use the one with the map, but decided against it
>Wouldn't want to have it activate in the middle of things.
"Well, this is where the negotiations will be held. I hope it's to your liking."
>She and her guards follow in, eyeing the lavish furnishings you and Rarity worked on
>A mahogany table with enough height for King Anonymous to sit and a chair that he could use
>Large cushions on the floor surrounding it that you got from Canterlot
>A place for tea in the middle, enough room for guards, and a nice window overlooking Ponyville and the Everfree Forest beyond.
>At one end of the room a pair of stallions set down a large black box you hadn't noticed when they came in.
>It opens up almost like a chest, with blocks folding out from the center connected with chains attached to the base of the center
>Crystal-topped levers and buttons poke out of a center shelf, with one large one in the center
>One of the moonponies presses his hoof against it, causing everything poking out to glow as well
>The other hoof goes up to his ear and he mumbles something.
>Mental note: determine fixation/obsession of moonponies and glowing objects.
>Aesthetic choice, or related to their magic?
>More research required.
"Excuse me Captain, but what is that?"
>She glances at the box
>"Some of our required equipment. It is harmless, so pay it no mind."
>What?
>That's not...you can't just bring something like that in here and not expect--
>"Captain?" the stallion asks in his strange voice, "Tangle complete. How much time will you require?"
>Oh my.
>It sounds almost as if Nightmare Moon had been a stallion.
>Low and smooth, with the same whispering undertone and echo the captain has
>You could listen to him for hours.
>"Three hours will suffice, Lieutenant," she responds.
>The lieutenant goes back to pressing buttons and mumbling again.
>"Move the furniture over to the side. I need two square armspans clear," she commands, pointing her armor-clad but still-dainty hoof at the other ponies.
>You're about to object to the destruction of your carefully-coordinated floorplan when Spike shows up at the door.
>"Hey Twilight, I have the tea and cookies ready, just like you asked. Whoa..."
>The moonponies in the room have stopped moving, each of them directing their gaze at your assistant.
>They seem tense.
>One of them even has a hoof up against her barrel, her frog next to the pack on her back.
>The captain looks at you with an eye raised.
"Oh! Oh, heh, thank you, Spike. Captain, I'd like you to meet my number one assistant Spike. He's a baby dragon I've raised since I hatched him. Don't worry, he's harmless, and as helpful as can be!"
>She nods and turns back to her subordinates.
>"At ease. Continue your work."
>She looks Spike up and down, almost appraising him.
>You'd be offended in any other situation, but she is head of security, so you suppose some scrutiny of everything in the castle is to be expected.
>"Twilight, please do not take this the wrong way, but please keep him away from this room until the All-Mother and All-Father arrive."
>"Hey!" Spike pouts, "I grew up in a castle, I know how to behave myself around royalty!"
>She doesn't even look at him.
>"His presence interferes with our magic. Lieutenant, what distance will you need?"
>What sort of magic gets suppressed by dragons?
>He's resistant to magic, he doesn't dampen it!
>You run your head through several different special scenarios where something like that would be needed
>Only in your most sensitive experiments requiring exact magical readings would...
>"About...forty hooves, Captain," he responds without looking away from his box.
>Please keep talking, Leiutenant.
>Oh what you would give to sit and listen to him read aloud to you your limited-edition Mango's Magical Motivation Metrics.
>"Forty hooves then, Princess. After that it will be no problem."
"Right, of course, I'll take care of it..."
>You need to write some of this stuff down.
>You have so many notes floating around in your head already.
>This will be the perfect excuse.
"Yes, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'll be right back."
>Quill. Scroll. Now.

===

>Later that night, your castle is now dotted with the glowing eyes of the guards on the outside, and there's one on every corner of every hallway on the inside
>Each of them hold a spear at the ready, with a floating blue-white stone at the end serving as a spearhead
>Each of them also has some sort of strange crossbow attached to their backs or one of their hooves
>That was another thing you weren't allowed to study.
>Perhaps you could work that in to the negotiations?
>Food for thought.
>When you had come back, they said they didn't need anything else from you, so you showed the captain around the castle, but she only seemed interested in the area around the meeting room, and the castle perimeter.
>She had posted a few of her guards out front and returned to the room.
>She told you that all of them would be waiting for the King and Queen to arrive.
>She also gave you that look that said she knew exactly what you were trying to pull when asked about interviewing one of the stallions under her command.
>So you said you had some things to take care of, she agreed, and you promptly left.
>You pass through the halls back from your room a good thirty minutes ahead of schedule
>Just enough time to get your notes taken care of, Spike taken care of, and yourself taken care of
>A full belly, even fuller scrolls of notes, and a fresh cup of coffee will make this negotiation all the easier
>Mabye you'll be able to strike up a conversation with that Leiutenant?
>You should probably catch his name first
>Oh you hope he's not in a herd
>Or at least they'll accept you
>Sure, you'd be the odd one out, and a princess is usually the alpha mare, but...
>Wait, why is it so dark in the halls up ahead?
>You can spot the small bits of light from the Captain's jewelry on her ears
>Another pony in front of her, facing you and her both, nods and looks at you.
>She turns to face you at the sound of your hoofsteps and you falter for a moment
>Two pairs of glowing eyes in the darkness, surrounded by small multi-colored lights, staring at you in silence, waiting for you to come closer
>Come inside my hall, said the spider to the fly
>"Welcome back, Princess."
"Heh, hi. What, um, why are all the lights off?"
>"We noticed they were magically-powered light fixtures, so we tried our best to deactivate all of them within the range of our equipment."
"Oh! Ok. Were they interfering with it too?"
>She shakes her head.
>"No, we simply did not want to cause your castle harm when we began. The castle staff at Canterlot was not pleased we had neglected such a measure."
>You stare at her for a moment.
>Well, up at her.
>You weren't at full alicorn height yet, but you'll get there someday!
>Each of them almost seemed like an alicorn to you.
>Sure, they weren't immortal or powerful like you or the princesses, but you had found out each of them had wings and a horn
>What difference did it make that the lights were on?
>Despite being conjured from the earth by magic, the Tree of Harmony was definitely up to date on building codes
>They all met the standards of magical shielding.
>Hay, even the ones in the basement where you did your experiments were hardened!
>Did they mean to cast something that would--
>"That's all of them, Captain," a stallion beside her says when the last pair of hall lamps are snuffed out.
>"Thank you, Sergent Murus," she answered him, "Please join the others, they will be here soon.
>Please don't go, sergent.
>I need you to brief me on the situation at hoof.
>But this view isn't that bad...
>"Please refrain from staring during the meeting, your highness. Mother Moon tolerates rudness poorly."
"What? I wasn't--I mean, we better get outside. Wouldn't want to miss their chariot arriving, right?"
>"No, we would not. Lead the way, please."
>She walks in silence next to you on the way out, so you try to start up a conversation.
"Captain, not that I mind the stall--I mean, the ponies you brought with you, but why all the security? I can assure you my castle is one of the safest places in all of Equestria."
>She scans the architecture passing by her as she speaks.
>"In my profession you learn that everything isn't always 'starlight and still winds,' even at home, Princess Twilight. We must be prepared for anything."
>Not always what?
>Your horn aches from the effort of keeping your notes back in your room.
"Of course, Princess Celestia doesn't go anywhere without her royal guards, either. I guess I can understand, but I've never seen the need for me to get my own."
>Your horn does light up to get the door, though.
"Here we are. Where should we wait for them? I don't know what side of the castle they're approaching from."
>"Here will be just fine, Princess. I'm sure Princess Celestia has reasons of her own to keep a System or two of her own with her at all times like our King and Queen. From my own experience, and the reports I've read, the ponies here are much less...ambitious than those back home."
"Well, I suppose the guards were good to have around during Cadance' wedding, even if just to buy some time."
>"Yes, I have read about the...incident with the Changeling Queen. It is concerning while we are travelling planet-side, but I am certain that ploy could never succeed among my kind."
"Captain, the Changelings were only launched away from Canterlot, they weren't banished or anything like that. It's still--"
>Her ear twitches when her earring glows and an armor-clad hoof reaches up to press against it.
>You notice her horn glowing ever so faintly.
>Her head does a quarter-turn away from you and she speaks to the doors.
>"Understood. Activate it."
>You look to the doors, and from your angle you can see through the open one that the hallway is empty.
"Um, Captain, who are you talking to?"
>"Brace yourself, Princess Twilight. I don't know how sturdy these foundations are, or how sensitive you might be."
>You read about their initial "landing," if you could call it that.
>Definitely something you'd rather not happen in the middle of town.
"Please tell me it's not a repeat of your first arrival. If they hit the castle they'd be...well, they'd be seriously hurt!"
>"No, nothing like that," she responds, holding her hoof up to her ear again.
>"Here they come."
>You look up to the sky, trying to get a first glimpse of Prin--Queen Selena's chariot.
>You speculate it will be all dark colors and silver filegree, just like the rest of the guards' armor, with dots of glowing light around it.
>The lights of your castle flicker slightly before you feel the 'pull.'
>You nearly stumble from the massive magical evocation, and you can see the grass on the ground around your hooves pulling into the center of your castle.
>You can feel several deep pulses, deep enough to make Vinyl green with envy, in your bones.
>It ends only a moment after it begins and you look at the captain.
>She looks like she kept her balance the entire time, despite keeping her hoof on her ear.
>"The King and Queen have arrived, Princess Twilight."

===

>You struggle to parse the words the captain spoke
>Each one makes sense individually, and as a statement as well
>But it doesn't make sense in context
"W-what?"
>The captian looks back at you as you stumble behind her back the route you both came not moments ago
>"The King and Queen have arrived. They're waiting for you in the meeting room."
"B-b-but, they...I would have known if they had--how?"
>"Simple. They, how do you describe it down here...teleported."
>You can feel yourself starting to hyperventilate.
>She has to be lying.
"Ok, ok, teleportation I understand. Teleportation I'm very familiar with. But where did they start from? Did they stop at the edge of town? How'd they get through the Castle's wards?"
>"I wasn't aware you castle had wards, Princess."
"Well I'm starting to seriously doubt that now!"
>"I would have appreciated that information when we first arrived, Princess Twilight. No matter, they are here. As for your first question, they started inside the Gray Spire."
>The Gray Spire.
"The Gray Spire."
>"Yes."
"On the moon."
>"Yes."
"That doesn't make sense."
>"I thought you were familiar with teleportation."
"I am! And that's why it doesn't make sense. That's impossible!"
>"Why?"
" Celestia herself doesn't have the power to teleport that far! I'm the Element of Magic ponified and even I couldn't teleport that distance if I knocked myself out!"
>"Well then it certainly sounds improbable, but not impossible."
>She's messing with you.
>This has to be some sort of pre-negotiation intimidation tactic.
>You squint your eyes and stop in the hall, trying to give her your best Princess Glare while you call her out on her horseapples.
"The thaumic potential of all of Equis and its inhabitants does not equate to enough power to teleport one being that far, let alone two. It would only be possible if we factored in the Magic of Friendship variable or the Power of Love coefficient, and there haven't been any situations where that would give rise, because I am the Princess of Friendship and my Sister-in-Law is the Princess of Love!"
>She just gives you a stone-faced stare.
>Doesn't help that they're all still taller than you.
>"And yet they are here."
>This isn't possible!
>Especially since...
"Aha! What about King Anonymous? He is immune to magic! How did he get here with teleportation?"
>"When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
>Did...did she just quote Captain Speck?
>How could she know about that, she's lived on the moon her whole life!
>"Princess," she says, before turning and continuing down the hall, "I think you'll find we may surprise you with what we can do."
>You rush to catch up and match her stride, finally reaching the point in the hallway where the lamps are unlit.
"How did you manage something like that? The Power of Love isn't called upon so easily."
>"I'm afraid there isn't much more I can tell you on the matter."
"Don't try and tell me it's because you're not an expert. My brother Shining Armor knew how everything worked in his armory when he was captain of the guard."
>"No, I'm quite familiar with the techniques involved, but I've been ordered to withhold certain information until clearance has been given."
"So you're saying..."
>"Yes, Princess. That information is classified."
>Oh you know this game.
>You ran into it all the time back at Canterlot.
>You knew how to get around it, too.
>You light another pair of lamps.
"Well, considering the fact that it's a major threat to national security, I believe I have a need to know. Please, explain how you were able to breach the castle's wards."
>"That information, or its relevance, is classified."
>You let out a growling sigh and lit another pair of lamps.
>This mare had made you so frustrated.
>You hadn't given much thought to castle security after the first time you teleported face-first against the wall when you were in a hurry.
>Sure, it had given you some comfort that ponies couldn't just up and teleport inside your crystal castle, but it also didn't prevent you from teleporting around once inside it.
>You knew how it worked, and yet she just told you it didn't work.
>You were frustrated she hadn't told you they were teleporting
>That they somehow figured out a way around your magical walls
>That you didn't get to witness it
>And the fact that the dear captain next to you has gone into "Customer Service Mode" that you became quite acquainted with during your time in Canterlot.
>You weren't going to get much more information out of her.
>Although she did mention an incident at Canterlot...
>You light the last lamp, wondering how their spell could have caused trouble with something like that.
>Definitely worth looking into later.
>You stop before the closed doors to the meeting room and take a deep breath, trying to relax.
>Ok, Twilight, you can do this.
>Princess Celestia trusts you.
>You open the doors and step in, surveying the room.
>The ponies have rearranged all the furniture like you had it before, and are standing around the room against the walls.
>Two new moonponies have arrived and are seated on either side of the Royal Couple.
>Both of them wear strange helmets and sit absolutely still.
>The entire face of the helm is a dome of polished metal with a cyan-glowing crecent moon between where their eyes should be, leaving only their horns, ears, and the lower half of their muzzles exposed.
>How are they even supposed to see?
>Between them sit Queen Selena and King Anonymous.
>Despite what happened in the Castle of the Two Sisters, you can see she still retains the form of Nightmare Moon.
>While the sight of her doesn't make you shiver (anymore), it's still unsettling to see her so calmly sitting at a table inside your castle
>Next to her alien king
>Surrounded by strange guards with, perhaps, powers you can't imagine
>Who teleported straight into your castle from the bucking MOON
>And she acts like this is all normal!
>You had wondered at first, when you first met her at Canterlot not too long ago during her reunion with her sister, if it was something that would fade over time, or perhaps just a glamour, but she keeps it still.
>Her regalia remains the same as it was when she was banished, but shining silver now and somehow...slightly less evil-looking.
>King Anonymous sits next to her in his chair, matching his wife in height, even folded-up like that.
>Around his neck is one of those pendants everypony from the moon seems to wear, and a silver crown sits around his head.
>You can see his cloak hung up on the wall behind him. Long white fur, speckled with dots of black, poke out of the top, and several pieces of strange-looking armor are attached to different points.
>He's still covered in clothes and seated quite close to his wife, like something out of that cover of Cona The Barbarian somehow got his claws on.
>On his face is a hint of a smile, but it's hard to tell when it's so much smaller compared to that of a pony.
>On one side of the blind guards sits a third new pony wearing a hooded robe.
>Another pair of glowing slitted eyes stares out at you from the darkness of the robe, which has a solid siver lining at the edges, backed with more opulent swirls and points of silver against a very dark-blue cloth. It almost drapes around her head and from her hooves, more akin to a blanket than a robe.
>You give a quick and courteous bow.
"Welcome, Queen Selena and King Anonymous, to Castle Friendship. I'm sorry I couldn't greet you when you arrived."
>"Greetings, Princess Sparkle. It is good to see you again," Queen Selena begins, "Thank you for agreeing to meet with us for negotiations."
>Her voice has a much more pronounced effect to it than the rest of the moonponies.
>"Yes," the deep voice of King Anonymous adds, "Hopefully we can work something out to serve the both of us."
>He looks over to the robed pony with a slight frown and raises his arm to point at her.
>"Allow me to introduce my youngest son, Colonus."
>Wait, son?
>King Anonymous sighs.
>"Well, go ahead and introduce yourself, son."
>The pony stands up and puts both hooves on the table, slowly looming upward.
>With a whip of his head his hood flows onto the back of his neck,
>Oh Celestia, Faust, have mercy on this poor virgin
>Why must you be forced to endure such trials?
>His flowing and sparkling mane, swirling with hints of light green and purple at the edges, covers his face for a moment before arcing through the air to rest behind it.
>The shape of his face much more closely resembles his mother
>A long but sleek, chisled jaw with two fangs poking out of his smirk.
>His eyes glow much more brightly than his peers, and they seem to lock you in place with their slitted gaze
>A hoof you hadn't noticed twirls up to land on his chest and he faces up and to the left
>Both his eyes are locked on you, though
>As if nothing else in the room mattered more
>"Greetings, Princess Twilight Sparkle," he begins, "allow me to introduce myself."
>The other moonponies' voices might as well have been chalk squeaking on a board.
>This one is smooth as silk, deep as an earthquake, and echoes just as much as his mother.
>Gotta admit, that earthquake simile was terrible, Twilight.
>But it definitely describes how your hindquarters are feeling right about now.
>You love the way your name sounds coming out of his mouth.
>How you'd love to make him scream it.
>"I am Prince Colonus, youngest son born to Queen Selena and King Anonymous, Soveriegn Rulers of the Moon."
>He backs away from the table and slowly strides toward you, never breaking eye contact.
>You can't seem to move.
>You don't want to.
>"I can't tell you how pleased I am to finally meet you face-to-face, Princess Twilight."
>He's close enough you can smell him now.
>What a nice cologne he's chosen.
>It goes so well with his musk.
>"Mother and Father were so gracious as to allow me to attend. After all, this was my idea."
>He closes in and reaches out to you
>One of his long, slender legs pokes out from beneath his flowing robes and takes your hoof in his.
>His height forces him to bow, and his eyes only break their spell on you to kiss your hoof.
>Oh you could get used to this.
>Now you know why Rarity swoons talking about something like this.
>Hmm, a Royal Decree just came to mind...
>But first, stop sperging out at the first stallion to approach you!
>You try to say something in response, but he looks back up at you
>You can't possibly interrupt him.
>"I do so enjoy the hunt, so I hope our talks go well. Perhaps we could even-"
>"Colonus, knock it off," King Anonymous interrupts anyway, "Give the poor girl a break."
>"Yes," Queen Selena joins in, "We are here to discuss the hunting and slaying of beasts, not hunting the sort of game that requires your 'spear.'"
>His eyes suddenly widen and he quickly but gently drops your hoof.
>"O-of course, Mother," he responds, then turns back to you, "Forgive me for being so forward, Princess, I thought it only proper."
>King Anonymous grunts. "Proper tactics maybe. Get back to your seat before you live up to your name."
>No.
>Please don't go sit so far from me.
>Come back and give my hoof more kisses.
>Queen Selena chuckles, but it sounds to you more like she's just successfully enacted some evil plot. "Every generation you doubt the Mother's Intuition, and every generation I am vindicated."
>"Oh hush. We still have to talk about 'that,' you know."
>"We will discuss it at home, dear, nowhere else."
>"Then you'll need a short leash for Colonus here, before he finds himself inside a diplomat...-ic incident."
>"Father, please!" Colonus begs as his father chuckles.
>If you didn't know better, it sounded as if he was a dragon.
>...
>You might be out of your depth here.
>"Suffer your embarassment with some dignity, Colonus," Queen Selena scolds, "You brought this upon yourself, and your father is well within his rights."
>"Especially," the king continues, "since I saw you practicing your introduction at home, son. Try to behave, at least?"
>"Do not fail me, Colonus," the queen warns in a cold voice out of your nightmares, "Or you shall never see the inside of another negotiation room again."
>You really hope their banter is distracting enough to keep them from noticing how you're walking right about now.
>You're pretty sure Colonus knows, though.
>You make it to your seat and a thought strikes you.
>The girls will never believe this.
>A stallion prince.
>From the bucking Moon.
>Aggressively and openly approached YOU.
>You find your seat and light your horn to summon your paperwork.
>Both of the silent ponies immediately turn to face you, almost like birds, and your horn extinguishes in surprise.
>"Oh, don't mind them," the king waves his hand, "They're just sensitive. What are you casting?"
>"Ju-ust," your voice cracks and you cough to try and sound normal, "Just bringing in the paperwork."
>The queen nods and you bring it from your study with a small flash.
>"Excellent," Queen Selena smiles, "Let us begin."

===

>You take a deep breath.
>You can do this, Twilight.
>Celestia trusts you to do this
>You scan over the request, triple-checking to make sure you understood just what they were asking.
"So," you begin, "if I understand this correctly, you wish to conduct a 'Great Hunt' here in the Everfree?"
>"Indeed," the queen answers.
"Well, what all does that entail, and why would you request my permission specifically?"
>"Colonus," Anonymous motions at him, "You're up."
>Colonus rubs a hoof back over his head and, having regained some of his composure, looks you in the eyes.
>"The Great Hunt has been a tradition of my people for hundreds of years," Colonus began, "While we normally send out hunting teams throughout the year to restock our stores, once a year we--"
"Excuse me," you interrupt, unable to let this tidbit of information pass, "did you say you hunted to 'restock your stores'?"
>Hunting in Equestria usually involved some sort of pest control, helping obstinate animals, and always, always photography.
>Hunting down packs of timberwolves that got too large and too aggressive
>Antlers that got too large to be safe, but the stubborn elk wouldn't ever let ponies close to them without a chase
>Among only the most daring of mares, they would track down dangerous beasts, knock them out somehow, then take pictures as proof
>Usually with silly drawings all over the unconscious beast and a funny look on their face
>Sometimes even really tasty plants that liked to move about in the wilderness
>It was a harmless hobby.
>Mostly.
>But ponies, by nature, were herbivores.
>What stores could hunting help restock, unless...
"Do you...eat meat?"
>You tried your best to sound calm, but your mind was running a mile a minute
>There was fear there, to be sure, but not so much you wanted to run away
>There was also running your head through all the implications
>What drove them to eat meat? To risk themselves injury, and the death of an innocent creature, to get it?
>Did they need it to live?
>Was it the influence of the nightmare's magic, or was it the influence of King's blood?
>Colonus looked back at his parents for a moment, at a loss for words.
>Queen Selena answered for him.
>"We do," she started, "though it was not always so, before my...relocation."
>"And before you ask," Anonymous added, "no, we weren't trying to hide it from you. It was simply that none of you bothered to ask us."
"W-what drove you to--I mean, why?"
>"I suppose that would be my doing," Anonymous rubbed his chin, "My people are omnivorous, and my children inherited that trait."
>"Fortuitous that they bore it, my dear," Queen Selena leaned over and nuzzled him, "we had not the plants to feed them, nor would their innate magic survive weaning with conjured, magical sustenance."
>"My sanity would not have survived another year of nothing but conjured mana buns."
>She brought a hoof up to her mouth and giggled, but it somehow managed to sound smug
>If a giggle could even sound that way, which it wasn't supposed to
>"So you say, but We could--" the rest of her sentence was muffled as she whispered it into his ear.
>"Mother..." Colonus complained in an unamused tone
>King Anonymous let out a short grunt and a wide grin, showing off all his teeth
>Side note: you could notice that he, too, had canines and incisors. His explanation that his nature, unaltered by magic, sounded much more plausible than magic.
>He patted one of her hooves with his hand.
>"I was the luckiest man in the universe to have such an...ample and unending supply."
>"Father..." Colonus had a hoof up to his forehead.
>"I was luckier," the king continued as if his son wasn't there, "to find it so agreeable."
>It seems they had forgotten about you as well.
>"Father, please."
>"Why," the King's smile widened even more somehow, and he was looking his wife in the eyes, getting closer to her face every moment, "I don't think I could ever get tired of the taste."
>And with that, he leaned forward and pecked his wife on the lips.
>She--the Nightmare Queen from the moon--snuggled up against him.
>"Father, Mother, please!" Colonus shouted from behind his covered face.
>You didn't get it.
>Why would he need to eat meat if he loved her conjured mana b--oh.
>OH.
>Their conversation full of innuendo had belatedly recalled a crass euphamism you had heard from other, more popular, mares in passing: "Call me a carnivore, because I love to stuff my mouth with meat."
>Colonus tried to bring their meeting back on-track.
>"Please, don't mind my mother and father's...'doting.' Yes, we eat meat. It's necessary for us to survive, otherwise we become weak and sickly.
>You honestly couldn't imagine them being even skinnier.
>"Once a year, the best hunters of each house band together to venture forth on a Great Hunt, wherein we hunt the largest and most dangerous of creatures to bring home for the Founding Feast.
>He seemed to be regaining his confidence, despite his parents still giggling and giving each other little kisses
>You did your best to ignore them, focusing only on Colonus.
>Which, you were finding, wasn't that hard to do.
>"We wish to conduct this year's hunt in the Everfree Forest, to brave and explore the last great untamed wilderness planetside, and challenge its greatest creatures in mortal combat."
>You stared at him for a moment.
>Well, longer than a moment.
>The shape of his muzzle, the orbit of his eyes, his dark and lithe form inside your castle, serenading you with his voice...
>"Princess?"
"Oh!" You coughed into your hoof and tried to make it look like you had been thinking over his proposal.
>Something...great and untamed...
"What would all of that require?"
>Nice save!
>"Well, for starters, we would need somewhere to set up a Crater, lodging for our hunters, a place to prepare it afterwards, all temporary, of course."
>You wrote down his list of requirements.
>Aside from your castle, you didn't think anypony here had enough room to lodge them all.
>"That is," he smiled at you, showing his teeth, and his eyelids lowered into a sultry look, "unless, perhaps, we might make this a more regular thing..."
>You glanced between your list and him, then at his parents.
>Their faces betrayed nothing.
>Except more lovey-dovey looks between them when they weren't smiling at the both of you.
>Relationshipgoals.scroll
>"The two of us," Colonus continued, "could make plans for a...less-than-temporary setting here."
"I um, I don't think I should be giving up p-portions of--"
>"Oh, I wouldn't dream of infringing on your sovereignty as Princess, Princess. More like an outpost, maybe even our main point of landing in Equestria, under your rule."
>You didn't want him to stop talking.
"Why here in Ponyville?"
>"Your lands hold the best that Equestria has to offer. If we made a home-away-from-home here in Ponyville, think of all the benefits it could offer the both of us."
>You tilted your head.
>It was getting more difficult to think about this rationally, but you needed something more than "Twilight Sparkle might actually score."
>Better make a list.
"What kind of b-benefits?"
>Real smooth, Twilight.
>But he ignored it, it seems.
>"Well, first and foremost we would have a good place to begin and end our Great Hunt, but there are others. First, you could--would show Princess Celestia how capable you are for forging this agreement on your own and taking on more responsibility--"
>"Gosh Colonus," King Anonymous interrupted, "that sounds oddly specific, doesn't it?"
>"How strange," his mother adds, "We might have heard such similar language not two orbits past."
>"Your ponies," Colonus ignores them, "would be among the first to establish friendships with moonponies, and where better for us to begin than the home of the Princess of Friendship? Tourism from both our kinds would benefit your coffers. We could also learn to understand each other, learn about each other. Why, if someone like me were to lead the project, I could give you as many...reports and meetings as you'd like."
>Again, you looked between the three of them.
>His father had an eyebrow raised and a slight smile on his face.
>His mother was smiling evilly.
>Maybe not evilly.
>You shouldn't be so judgemental of her.
>All this time you were assuming the worst, thinking she was planning something shady or pulling off some scheme.
>Celestia accepted her back, claimed that she wasn't the same mare that disappeared all those years ago.
>If Celestia trusts her, then so do you!
>Well, rubbing her hooves together didn't help you any, but you had to try, for friendship's sake!
>You looked back down to your scroll to go over the items again.
>Your scroll had managed to get the first few items, but somewhere along the line your horn had stopped writing and started drawing.
>Nopony may know of this.
>You rolled it up quickly and cast a spell to erase the last few inches of ink.
"I...I think we can work something out..."

===

>Thank Celestia for paperwork
>Focusing on ironing out the details of this deal has thankfully given you a very useful distraction from getting lost in his--
>From studying the differences in moonpony and Equestrian pony biology.
>Yes.
>Also, you were sure that those blind(?) ponies were staring back at you every time you looked over at them.
>Somehow.
>The delegation--or rather, Colonus--had persuaded you with some very convincing arguments that it would be best for everyone involved to set up an outpost here in Ponyville somewhere.
>Ah, you think back to a few minutes ago (or was it hours?) when Colonus was talking about Ponyville growing to rival even Canterlot in trade, culture, and societal matters.
>You stare out the darkened window and can just about make out the lights of Canterlot on the side of the mountain.
>Celestia would be so proud of you.
>You catch a look at the King and Queen.
>For the most part, they've been content to be silent during this negotiation.
>A couple of their guards had, with your permission, gone and retrieved some books from your library for them to browse while you spoke with Colonus
>Queen Selena had offered advice or asked questions here and there, despite not even looking up from a dense history book.
>You knew her sister had the same ability to read and listen at the same time to different subjects, too.
>It had caught many a mumble in day court, and made you feel all the more special when she gave all of her attention to you.
>King Anonymous had, to your wonderment, been reading the backs of several stacks of fiction books during the more tedious moments, but it seemed that he didn't have the same ability as his wife.
>From the looks of it, mostly adventure, romance, and adventure/romance novels.
>He didn't sound or look impressed by them.
>Hmph.
>What did he expect with pulp fiction?
>He'd definitely be impressed with the amount of knowledge in your collection of non-fiction.
>You'd give your left wing to have unfettered access to the libraries in the Gray Spire.
>Well, maybe not that, but something equally valuable!
>But, back to the matters at-hoof.
>The zoning map of Ponyville in front of you.
>He wanted a place not too far from Ponyville and not too far from the Everfree
>Also beyond four hundred meters from any structures, to allow for construction of the Crater.
>A name based on the topography of the moon's surface, perhaps?
>Must investigate further.
>Which you will once you've got these strange ponies and strange technology firmly under your hoof!
>"Ahem."
>No, he's right.
>You'll be underneath his barrel, with him firmly in your grasp.
>Your name on his lips, unable to wrench his own legs from your body, a slave to his own desires for your--
>"Princess?"
>You blink a couple times.
"Hmm? Yes?"
>Colonus looks at you with a hoof on the map.
>"I said that this area would do nicely, and it's marked as belonging to the crown."
>You look down at the map again.
>Something about it looks familiar, though...
>If you remember correctly, that land is part of Sweet Apple Acres, or at least they grow apple trees there.
>But they don't actually own the land, it just wasn't part of either of the surrounding plots.
>Applejack wouldn't just steal it, though.
>In all likelihood, the trees just started growing at the edges and spread across it over time.
>Still, it meets all the criteria.
>Applejack won't be pleased, but you'll find some way of repaying her.
"I'm sorry, Prince, but that land is already being used my friend Applejack. I'd hate to kick her off of it."
>"Is this map outdated, then?"
"No, no, it's not outdated. I remember that this area is part of what they consider to be part of their farm. Even though it doesn't actually belong to them, I wouldn't feel very good just taking it from them to give to someone else."
>"If it's money she requires, I'm sure we can work something out."
>"I'm sure you can," King Anonymous comments, "After all, you've done way better than I expected tonight."
>The king reaches around the guard next to him and pats the prince's back.
>"I'm proud of you already, son."
>Colonus straightens out in his seat, sitting a little taller.
"I don't think the Apple Family will part with their farm for a bag of bits. They value it all very highly, since they've owned it for generations."
>Anonymous looks over at his wife and they lock eyes for a moment.
>Not a word passes between them, but she eventually nods.
>"We are certain we can strike a bargain with them," Queen Selena announces, "perhaps mere gold will not suffice, but they may be swayed by a different prize."
>"Well," Anonymous looks at the clock on the wall, "if they're farmers, they would probably be up and about by now, right? Why don't we go talk to them, see if we can't get them to part with a few of their trees?"
>You look at the clock on the wall.
>5 a.m.
>Yeah, they'll probably be awake by now.
>Granny Smith will already be making breakfast.
>You wouldn't want to bother the King and Queen with another visit for yet another negotiation, and all the details are still fresh in your mind.
"Of course they'll be up. I just, um, don't have any chariots nearby for the trip. I can arrange for one if you'd like to wait for one to get here from Canterlot."
>"Neigh, Princess Sparkle," Queen Selena waves a hoof, "it has been ages since We have experienced a walk in the twilight before dawn. We would enjoy the trek."
"I should call a couple royal guards here, then. I wouldn't want the ponies in town to worry."
>You still hadn't figured out what would set off the ponies that lived here.
>You still remember the reaction that Zecora got.
>Yet they welcomed Iron Will, a giant minotuar with a goat entourage, with open forelegs and wide eyes.
>Better safe than sorry.
>"Nonsense," Anon waved his hand, "They're gonna have to get used to us in time anyway. I'm sure if they saw you with us they wouldn't freak out. Besides, our guards can handle anything.
>Anonymous rested his hand on the back of one of the helmeted guards and rubs her back.
>"Isn't that right, Ensiculia?"
>She doesn't move, but you can see her stone face crack into a small smile.
>Well, just her mouth. It's the only part of her face you can see.
>"It's settled, then," Colonus announces with a smile, "Let's get moving. I'm sure you can tell me all about Ponyville as we walk, Princess."
>He turns his glowing eyes back to you with a glowing smile
>Well, his teeth aren't glowing or anything, but they might as well be.
>You feel your heart flutter in your chest.
>King Anonymous is right, the ponies of this town have to get used to seeing them.
>This will also give you a chance to impress--
>Explain.
>Explain to Colonus all about Ponyville.
>They all stand up at the table, reminding you just how tall everypony from the moon is.
>Anonymous stretches, doing some odd twisting motions, each time eliciting a couple pops or cracks
>Each one makes you shiver.
>You move to open the door for them, but one of the guards beat you to it.
>Hmm. They were all so silent during your hours of talking that you had forgotten they were even there.

===

>You make sure to float a large mug of coffee out of the kitchen as you make your way down the hall.
>The commercial-grade machine was worth it's weight in gold.
"Would any of you like some coffee?"
>"Ooh, yes please," Anonymous says.
>Queen Selena and Colonus nod their heads as well.
>You stop at the door and pour out three cups, leaving enough room for colty things to add.
"How would you like them? I make mine a little strong, but I can add water, milk, or syrup if you'd like."
>"Do you have another cup like that one?" Anonymous points at the one you're floating.
"Yup. What would you like?"
>"Fill'er up, black."
>What.
>The only pony who could stand to drink coffee the way you drink coffee was Moondancer.
>And Celestia when she's had a long night.
>The both of you had developed your taste through your years of study and many all-nighters.
>Coffeeshops aren't actually allowed to legally serve the kind of coffee you drink.
"I brew my coffee pretty strong, King Anonymous. Are you sure you don't want some water?"
>"The stronger the better. I've really missed it."
>"We will take ours with a spot of cream," the queen says.
>"Same here, but more cream and add a couple scoops of sugar," Colonus adds.
"If you say so."
>You pour them their drinks and pass out the mugs.
>Anonymous takes a sip first and lets out a very deep and satisfied sigh.
>...
>L-lewd.
>The queen is a more collected when she takes hers
>Colonus, however, passes his cup off to the Captain who sips first.
>You raise an eyebrow at him and taste the coffee in your cup.
>Yup, just the way you like it.
>It isn't burned, and there's no grounds floating in it
>"Oh, don't mind him," Anonymous says, "he's just, uh, picky."
>The Captain nods and gives it back to the prince.
"Oh...kay..."
>Weird.
>Not even Blueblood does that.
>"Sorry, Princess Twilight, I just had to get it tested for p--"
>Anonymous stumbles to the side and nearly bowls him over, almost spilling the prince's drink.
>"Oops."
>The King stares at his son with a serious face.
>Not that he said sorry, but it almost looks like he did it on purpose.
>Colonus pulls on his robes and coughs into a hoof.
>What is going on?
>"Ahem," Colonus smoothes out his robes, "I um...have a sensitive palette, and the Captain here knows what I like. Th-thank you, Captain Insularum."
>She nods back at him before he starts down the hall.
>"Well let's go, sky's turning!"
>Anonymous lays a hand on the Captain's back before he joins his son and wife.
>"Captain, send for Villa. Tell her to bring a box of the glacier apples with her and meet us on the way to the farm."
>"At once, All-Father."
>You're quite torn.
>On one hoof, they're probably going to teleport another pony here from Faust knows where (probably the moon again) and you want to witness it.
>On the other, you have to be a good host and escort them to Sweet Apple Acres.
"We can wait if you'd like, there's no rush."
>"Nah, it's no trouble. She'll catch up with us. Oh, and Captain, brief her on the way."
>>"Roger, All-Father."
>Roger?
>What in the world does that mean?
>You really want to ask, but you manage to keep your urge to interrogate in check.
>Another note you have to try and remember.
>The front door opens before any of you get close or use magic.
>You pass by a pair of silver-armored guards and step out into the cool night air.
>The sun isn't anywhere the horizon, and the moon hangs in the night sky.
>"Hey, look!" Anonymous points to the moon.
>His arms and fingers are long when they're not all folded-up.
>"Wow, we're so high up."
>Wait, what does he mean 'high up'? He's on the ground.
>...oh.
>"Indeed, dearest," Queen Selena leans against him, "I had forgotten how I enjoy this view."
>"I think I can see my house from here!"
>"Really?" Colonus stops and looks up.
>"Yeah," Anonymous leans down next to his son and points, "Right there, see?"
>Colonus squints.
>"No..."
>"Well, look harder. It's right there. Look, there's the Spire poking out right there."
>"I still don't see it."
>"Squint real hard, look right there. No, not there, there. The Palace is on the other side of the courtyard."
>Anonymous keeps pointing.
>Can he really see it?
>You finally look up.
>You think you can see what he means.
>You squint, but no details become apparent.
>You frown and set your coffee down.
>Your horn shines a little brighter as you bring up a spell to try and enhance your vision.
>Your coffee nearly spills when both of the not-so-blind guards stop and again spin around to face you, interrupting your cast.
>Queen Selena lets out a cackle at the sight of you three.
>"My dear son, Princess, We believe you have fallen for Our husband's playful ruse."
>"Father!"
>"Ah-hah, gotcha!" Anonymous stands and smiles, then musses up his son's faintly-flowing hair.
>Colonus frowns and whisper-yells at him.
>"Father, please! Not in front of the Princess!"
>You smile and shake your head, picking your coffee back up.
>Your own Mother used to do that sort of thing to Shining all the time when you were growing up.
>Oh the look on his face...
>It was a lot less funny when it happened to you.
>Better change the subject.
>You start walking and talking
>Starting with the town's founding
>Fun fact: you checked out Granny Smith's stories about founding this town and the details matched with other accounts
>She is...very old.
>You suppose at some point, the Apples stopped saying all the "Greats" in front of her name.
>Anonymous and Selena share a few looks between them while you talk, but Colonus seems very interested.
>It's...actually quite nice to have someone so interested in listening to your lecturing, even if it's history instead of the cutting edge of magic or friendship studies.
>There aren't even any other ponies out at this time of night, not in town anyway.
>Halfway there you feel another twinge in your horn and you try to suppress a frown.
>They definitely "teleported" another pony from somewhere very far away inside your castle
>And you weren't there to witness it.
>The things you do to be a princess...

===

>A few minutes later, a voice behind you calls out.
>"All-Father, Mother Moon!"
>Your group stops to look at the newcomer flying through the air.
>The guards make way for another moonpony to land.
>A mare, just as tall and thin as the prince, folds her wings before landing and giving the King and Queen a hug.
>Her hair has a green hue, bright as the aurora borealis, and is tied up with a flower glowing bright blue into a very long ponytail that slightly curls and flutters in the ethereal wind.
>Her dark blue robes, unlike the prince, are much shorter and tighter around her limbs, with silver-lined flaps for her wings and lacking a hood.
>Her glowing eyes share the same color as her translucent mane, and they shut tightly as Anonymous scoops her up.
>Her muzzle shares the shape with Selena, unlike the strong lines of the prince, and you can see the fangs underneath it in a smile.
>In light green magic hangs a cloth bundle, no doubt with the apples her grandfather asked for.
>She nuzzles Selena before looking at the rest of you.
>"Princess," Anonymous begins with a hand on her head just behind her horn, "allow me to introduce my granddaughter Villa Flosculus, Head of Agricultural Research."
>She bows to you and you nod your head.
>"Villa, this is Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship and ruler of Ponyville."
>"Pleased to meet you, Princess," her voice is much higher than even the Captain's, and she offers you a smile before looking at the prince.
>"Oh. Hey Colonus."
>His jaw stiffens, but he manages to sound collected.
>"That's 'Prince' Colonus, Ms. Flosculus. Princess Twilight was just explaining to me the history of this city, and I must say I find it quite interesting."
>Villa huffs and turns her nose up away from him, her mane flowing through the air like a ribbon.
>"Ah yes, your title remains Prince. Perhaps you tend to the flower of love the same way you tended to my projects. I don't know why I would have expected otherwise."
>His eyes narrow and he opens his mouth to retort, but you interrupt him before he can start off a tirade.
>Even if you've never dated a colt before, you've seen how they can be when snubbed.
>Though you hardly expected a mare to do something like that to a prince in front of his own parents.
>Who does she think she is?
>His father seems to be holding back a laugh though, and his mother is looking at her son with a raised eyebrow.
"Um, do you two know each other?"
>"Well enough, I think," Villa begins, "to keep the PRINCE far away from anything that needs starlight to live."
>Colonus stomps one of his tiny hooves in the dirt.
>"It was one acre, and I won't be Prince much longer, you'll see!"
>Anonymous nudges him with a knee.
>"She does have a point though. Stallions your age usually--"
>"YES Father, I know. You and Mother have made your expectations quite clear on the subject."
"Well! Let's keep going, Sweet Apple Acres isn't far now, and I'm sure Granny Smith is up already."
>"Who?" Villa asks.
>Colonus sighs.
>"The Apple Family Matriarch. She presides over Sweet Apple Acres, around which the town formed."
>"I certainly hope the Prince stays away from the fields, or the town will starve."
>"We are going to negotiate for the use of some land upon which some of their trees grow, but does not actually belong to them."
>"Well you certainly are the right pony to clear land of vegetation."
>King Anonymous chuckles next to him, but Colonus stands taller as he walks.
>"I am going build an outpost here in Ponyville, starting with a Crater. That land is where it will be planted. You, Villa, are here at Father's request, not mine."
>"A first-name basis again? Nothing will yield from those efforts, Prince."
>"Alright, that's enough, Villa," King Anonymous says with a smile and takes a sip from his mug, "No need to keep flustering the colt, we're almost there...Wait..."
>You can see the fence and sign for the farm, and lights on in the house.
>Anonymous sniffs the air.
>"What is that? It smells like...but there's something wrong...something very wrong."
>You sniff too, but can't smell anything.
>"I smell it too," Colonus remarks, "something does smell wrong about it."
>Perhaps they have a greater sense of smell than you do.
>Another thing to remember for your notes.
>Soon you do smell what they were talking about.
"Oh, that's haybacon. Granny Smith likes to cook a hearty breakfast."
>"Hay...bacon?" Colonus asks.
"Yes, bacon made from hay. It's a favorite breakfast food for lots of ponies."
>Your ear twitches when you hear Anonymous whispering "blaaaaaasphemyyyyy..."
>The Queen whispers something back, but they don't make a fuss about it.
>The eight of you file through the gate and make your way to the house.
>You pound on the sturdy oak door.
"HEY GRANNY SMITH, IT'S ME, TWILIGHT!"
>You hear a faint voice from inside, along with some creaky hoofsteps.
>"Well you sure sound alright dear!"
>The door creaks open, revealing the old mare.
>She smiles and wobbles over to give you a hug, which you return.
"Good morning Granny Smith!"
>"Well I'll be!"
>She pushes you back with her hooves to look you up and down.
>"What in tarnation is a youngin' like you doin' up so early? Not even Celestia herself is up yet."
>She looks behind you at your little entourage.
>"Who on Faust's green earth are you folks? Some kinda...circus group? The fair grounds are closed fer the year, you need to come back later."
>Your heart jumps into your throat and you look back quickly at them.
>Damage control, damage control!
>Colonus and Villa look incredulous.
>Captain Frigoris has the same face your brother got in the royal guard,
>and Queen Selena has BOTH eyebrows raised now!
>And King Anonymous...just bursts out laughing.
>Like, really laughing.
>He even has to lean on his wife for support.
>...
>You hope AJ is awake.

===

>The group behind you is completely quiet
>None of them know how to react
>Except for Anonymous
>Selena scowls at her husband and leans over to him
>"Of course you would find this humorous," she whisper-yells.
>"Ooh-hoo, oh, ah...Lighten up, honey," he murmurs back, "the mare looks like she's older than you are."
"Qu-queen Selena, King Anonymous, I...I'm so sorry about--"
>Anonymous waves it off with his hand.
>"It's fine, Princess, just fine. I haven't had a laugh like that in ages."
>>"My dearest husband, perhaps you have--"
>"I said it's fine, dear," Anonymous coos and rubs a hand behind one of her ears, "this is probably the first time anyone has seen a moonpony in Ponyville. Let's try to be nice about it, okay? We're not some puffed-up noble from Canterlot."
>The rest of the group just watches the exchange, afraid to say anything and ruin Anonymous' attempts to break the tension.
>She leans into his hand and closes her eyes, letting out a little huff.
>"We will try it your way, husband of mine," she sighs, giving him a peck on the lips before turning to you.
>"Princess Twilight, please see to it that the rest of Ponyville is reliably informed of our presence. While ponies like Ms. Smith may react...with confusion, others may react with fear."
"Y-yes, Queen Selena, that's a good idea."
>Granny Smith just watches the exchange with a raised eyebrow.
"Granny Smith, may I introduce you to King Anonymous and Queen Selena, rulers of the Moon. They're here to talk to your family about some land for an outpost. May we come in?"
>"I don't know about no queens and kings, but any friend of Twilight is welcome in the Apple Family home."
>She steps back from the door and walks inside.
>You give your party your best smile.
"Well, let's head on inside."
>Anonymous strides forward like that didn't just happen.
>They look at each other for a moment and follow.
>"Ah'll hafta fix up s'more breakfast," Granny calls out from the kitchen, "so yall just take a seat at the table, or couches...makes yourselves at home, but mind the floors, I already swept."
"Thank you Granny Smith, but you don't need to make--"
>"Twilght Ah'll kiss a timberwolf 'fore Ah let mah family eat in front of guests. 'Sides, it looks like a few of yer new friends could stand a few more second helpings!"
>Captain Frigoris walks into the kitchen while the rest of the party sits down in the living room.
>Anonymous and Selena sit on a couch and their two personal guards (you reason, since they've been quite close to them the entire time) take a place on the floor next to them.
>Colonus sits on the opposite couch, while Villa hops up into Anonymous' lap, resting her back against the hoofrest and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
>Anonymous' arm bends at the elbow and he rubs his fingers through her hair
>You elect to remain standing, waiting for another member of the Apple Family to come down the stairs.
>You don't want any of them to panic when they see the group down here.
>Speaking of, the first one down is Applebloom.
>Her eyes are tightly shut, walking the distance by memory, the bow in her hair droopy as the pony it sits atop
>She almost runs into you while rubbing an eye with a hoof, getting a glance around the room.
>"Oh, mornin' Twi," she mumbles and heads into the kitchen.
>Big Macintosh follows soon after, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to stare at the guests in his home.
"Good morning Big Mactinosh, sleep well?" you ask, putting on your biggest smile.
>"Eyup," he answers, still looking at the strange ponies.
>Anon waves a hand at him.
"Good, well, I guess some introductions are in order, but would you like to wait for AJ to come down?"
>"Eyup."
>Seconds later you hear her at the top of the stairs, but she stops before hitting the landing to look around, then settling on you.
>"Uh, mornin' Twi, yer up early. Mind explaining just why Ah got a bunch of strange ponies and Night-"
"Ah-heh-HEM, Applejack, Big Macintosh, allow me to introduce you to my, and now your, guests."
>Anonymous sets down Villa and stands up with his wife.
"This is King Anonymous and Queen Selena, rulers of the Moon and Progenitors of the Moonponies."
>Both pairs nod their heads, unsure of protocol.
>Now that you think of it, should ponies be bowing to a King and Queen from a different government? They aren't subject to their rule.
>Focus! Questions for later.
>Colonus and Villa walk over next to you.
>"This is their son, Prince Colonus, and this is Villa, Head of Agricultural Research."
>Colonus pokes a hoof out of his robes and offers it to Applejack for a shake.
>"Pleased to meet you, Applejack, Big Macintosh."
>Applejack stares at him for a moment, seemingly unsure of what to do, then shakes his hoof as if lost in thought.
>This mare better not be--
>Villa sidles up to Colonus and flutters her eyelashes at Big Mac, offering him a limp and dainty hoof.
>"Yes, quite pleased indeed, Big Macintosh."
>Big Mac raises an eyebrow and takes the offered hoof.
>When she giggles into her other hoof, AJ finally snaps out of her stupor.
>Before she can open her mouth to say something less-than-diplomatic, you start to explain things.
"Sorry to spring this on you Applejack, but we're actually here to discuss something with you that involves some of the land your farm occupies."
>"And just what would that be, Twi?"
>"Applejack!" Applebloom calls out from the kitchen door, "Granny says you need to do yer talkin' in the kitchen with some food in front of you."
>Colonus looks back at Anonymous, clearly wondering how everypony will fit inside the smaller room.
>He waves him off.
>"You and Villa go on, this is your show after all."
>Applejack puts a hoof on Big Mac's leg and presses it down onto the floor, finally separating Villa from him.
>You put on a winning smile for the umpteenth-time today
>Gosh, who knew diplomacy could be so hard?

>Be Applebloom
>It's too early for these horseapples.
>But Granny said the hour was no reason not to be a good host, and the Apples are always good hosts.
>Even if your guests are some weird glowy-ponies and a big green minotuar-type thing.
>You hold out a plate on your hoof, waiting for Granny to fill it.
>You've gotta take the food out to your guests.
>Your brother, sister, Twi, and the two tall and glowing ponies take a seat around the table.
>Applejack doesn't look to happy, she keeps givin that mare the stinkeye.
>You take another plate on your back and head out to the living room to the sound of chairs squeaking behind you.
>The couch is completely full with the two of them.
>Stallions first, just like Granny taught you.
"Here's yer breakfast, Mister, uh, Prince, sir..."
>Well he's got a crown on his head.
>At least you think it's a crown, it's not very big.
>He reaches out with a hand to grab the one on your head first.
>"Thank you, Applebloom," his deep voice entones with a smile, "I'm King Anonymous, and this here is my wife, Queen Selena."
>Even though he's really big, he kinds reminds you of your brother.
>His wife looks kinda familiar, somehow.
"Yer welcome! And one for you, yer highness."
>"Thank you, young one," she smiles too
>Her voice sounds awful funny, just like those other ponies.
>Like she's got an echo or something.
>You also spot fangs.
>Lots of them.
>If you remember right, the only ponies that have fangs are evil, or some kinda monster.
>She's Twilight's guest, though, so you can rule out both.
>Probably.
>Spike has some, but he eats diamonds and stuff.
>Maybe she's some kinda dragon?
"Sorry we don't got any gems for ya, we're not a rock farm or nothin, just apples."
>Her eyebrows raise under a long, glowing horn.
>Two strips of haybacon float over to her plate.
>"Oh? And why might you offer Us gems?"
"I saw you got sharp teeth just like mah friend Spike. He's a dragon, and he sure likes to chow down on some gems and stuff. I thought you might like some too, but we don't got any."
>She puts a silver-shoed hoof up to her mouth with a giggle.
>You think it's a giggle.
>Her voice sounds kinda strange, and her giggle sounds more like a villain from your comic books, sorta.
>"Thank you for your consideration, filly, but We do not consume gems."
>"Not literally..." King Anonymous mumbles around a mouthful of pancakes.
>She narrows her cat-eyes at him, then you see her magic touch wrap around his fork.
>Not paying attention, the syrup-covered bite flicks upward at the last second and he pushes it into his nose.
>You laugh a little when Anonymous jumps a little bit.
>He puts a hand on her back.
>"You know I love you honey."
>You head back into the kitchen for the next few plates.
>AJ doesn't sound too happy.
>"What in tarnation do you mean, that ain't our land? We've been growin' apples here since before Ah was born!"
>Twilight is tapping the blue-checkered tablecloth with a hoof.
>"I know, but those trees are actually outside the boundaries of your land, AJ. The vast acreage of your farm doesn't actually extend there. They must have grown there by mistake!"
>Maybe you should eat your own breakfast in the living room.
>Granny sets a plate on your hoof, head, and back.
>"What did I tell you youngins about talkin' business without some food in front of ye? Calm yer blabbin, it ain't gonna do nopony any good to talk on an empty stomach."
>"Sorry, Granny," AJ replies as you exit again.
>Anonymous has finished eating, his plate resting on the coffee table, while Selena is delicately taking bites with a floating fork.
>You walk over to one of the weird guards sitting on the floor on either side of the couch and look at her for a moment.
>How are they supposed to see?
>All they got sticking out of those helmets is their horns, ears, and mouth at the bottom.
>"Just set the plates on the floor in front of them," Anonymous tells you, "They'll eat quickly."
"Ah dunno, it don't seem right to set 'em on the floor like we do fer Winona."
>"That's...actually a good point. Set them on the coffee table."
>You set all three plates down and look back at Anonymous.
"Why're they sittin on the floor anyhow? We got another couch right there."
>"Oh, they chose that as the best spot. They're guards, so I expect them to know where to sit and stuff."
>Speaking of which, wasn't that grown-up sitting on Anonymous' lap?
"And why was that other pony sittin on your lap earlier?"
>"I'm her, uh, great-times-alot-grandfather. My grandchildren like to sit on my lap when they can."
"Even when they're all grown-up?"
>"Yup, I'm pretty big, so they'll always be small enough to do it."
>"And," Selena comments between bites, "my dearest husband cannot resist the pleading eyes of a pony begging to do so."
>You walk over to the other couch and hear some ruffling on the other one.
>Your ears swivel to hear the queen murmuring something.
>"Go on, dearest, ask her."
>"Hey, uh, Applebloom?" Anonymous asks.
>You turn to look at him.
>"Would you like to sit in my lap while you eat?"
>You tilt your head.
>He is a guest, but you shouldn't just go around sitting in ponies' laps just because they ask you to.
>What would Granny think?
>"Go on, young one," Queen Selena coos, "it is not every day that you have the chance to sit in the lap of a King."
>She makes a good point.
>If it's good enough for grown-up ponies, it's good enough for you.
>Because you are a big pony.
>You have your cutiemark and everything.
"Alright, I guess so."
>You walk over to him and plant your butt down, raising both your hooves like when your brother used to pick you up.
>Anonymous makes a strange face before scooping you up with his big hands and placing you in his lap.
>You turn around on his big legs and reach out for the plate left on the table, which Queen Selena floats over to you.
"Thanks, yer highness."
>Anonymous shifts a bit underneath you as you dig in.
>This is...actually kinda nice.
>His legs are warm and soft, but kinda firm, and his stomach makes a nice backrest.
>You pick up your plate with both hooves and dig in.
>Another strange pony comes out of the kitchen with three cups floating in her magic.
>She gives you a strange look too, before shaking her head.
>Her horn pulses a few times and they float over to the table.
>"Hey, don't look at me like that, Frig," Anonymous says behind you, lightly patting your back, "I know you wanted this spot, but her family is feeding us breakfast, so it's only right she gets it."
>"I would have expected nothing less, All-Father," she responds in a flat tone.
>"How proceeds the negotiations?" Queen Selena asks.
>"Tumultuous, but not hostile."
>Frig's horn pulses again and the sack on the couch lifts up and floats over to her.
>"Let Colonus know he can offer them whatever they want," Anonymous tells her before she goes back into the kitchen.
>You don't know just what they're talking about, but you're busy eating.
>It's quite in the living room for a bit, just the sounds of breakfast and Anonymous breathing behind you.
>...
>"Damn this is comfy," Anonymous breaks the silence.
>"Language, dearest," Selena says next to you, "not in front of the foal."
"Hey I'm not a foal," you protest, setting your plate on the coffeetable, "I got my cutiemark and everything."
>You stand up in his lap and point at what you worked so hard to get.
>Anonymous puts a big soft hand on your head and ruffles your hair.
>It annoys you, but it feels to good to stop him.
>"Of course you are," he says, "look where you're sitting. The Captain wanted this spot."
>He grabs the cup of apple juice for you after you try to reach it from way up here.
>Hey wait a minute...
>One of those plates is empty.
>You didn't even see anypony touch it!
>You point to it.
"Hey, what happened to the food?"
>"What's wrong?"
"That one's empty, and Ah didn't see nopony touch it!"
>"Well, someone ate breakfast when you weren't looking," Anonymous says.
>You turn around to look at him, and he's got a smile on his face.
"No pony eats that fast, not even Pinkie Pie!"
>"Quick, look!" Anonymous points to the other one.
>Now it's empty, too.
"Hey!"
>You prop your forelegs over the hoofrest on the side of the couch to stare at the guard, waiting for her to move.
>...nothing.
>Not even a crumb...
"How'd they do that?"
>Anonymous ruffles your hair again.
>"Magic."
"What? Even Ah know a pony's gotta see what they're doing when they use that fancy magic stuff. What are they, some kinda ninja ponies? How do they see with that big ol'helmet all over their face?"
>You stare at her some more, waiting to see if she'll move.
>Anonymous picks you up from your belly and sets you back down across his lap.
>"Hey, it's not polite to stare, Applebloom. They aren't ninja ponies, but my personal guard."
>His arm rests on your back and his fingers run through your hair.
>Well, slap you silly and call you a strawberry, you're comfier right now than a Princess in a Bakery.
>"The Avus Custodes," Queen Selena says from right next to you, "The personal guardians of King Anonymous, the highest honor for anypony in my Galaxy."
"How--"
>You can't help but let out a yawn.
"How can do they do that if'n they can't see nothin?"
>"Your eyes are not your only sense, young Applebloom, and may in time deceive you."
"You sound kinda like Zecora..."
>"Who?"
>You roll over onto your back, letting Anonymous rub your belly.
"She's this real wise Zebra out in the Everfree, talks all criti--cryptic like, in rhymes and riddles and stuff."
>"She definitely must be wise, if she sounds like my wife," Anonymous says.
>She giggles and leans over for a kiss.
>You look closely at the crown on his head as they do.
>It's so much smaller than hers, just a silver ring-type thing with a black gem in the center.
"Why's yer crown so small?"
>"Hmm?"
"Yer crown. It's real small compared to the one yer wife is wearin."
>"Well, it's small so it will stay on. It's awful tight around my noggin."
"I thought kings just sit around tellin other ponies what to do," you comment, and hear the queen giggle/cackle again, "Do you do a bunch of wrasslin or somethin?"
>"No, it's so that I don't take it off. It's stuck, see?"
>He reaches both hands up and grabs it on either side.
>His arms tense and try to push it off, but it doesn't move.
>Soon his head is twisting either which way, trying to get a good angle, like it's a lid stuck on a jar.
>"Not coming off today either, I guess," he says, looking defeated.
>Gosh does he look sad.
"Um...do ya want some help?"
>His eyes light up.
>"Yes! Would you please?"
"Sure!"
>Granny and AJ always taught you never to deny a stallion in need.
>What kinda wife just lets her husband walk around with a crown stuck on his head all the time?
>Must be awful to try and sleep with it on.
>"Okay," both his hands come up again and he leans forward, curling his fingers around the edges, "I'll push, and you pull."
>You stand up in his lap and put a hoof on either side.
>Granny and AJ will sure be proud to see you've helped a stallion, and a King Stallion no less!
>"On three."
>You tense.
>"One, two...three!"
>You pull back as hard as you can, and he grunts in effort to push.
>This thing really is stuck on there!
>"Pull harder!"
"Ah'm tryin!"
>It starts to budge a little bit.
>"Almost...got it..."
>You put both your back hooves onto his chest and pull with all your might.
>Come on, you're an Apple for Celestia's sake!
>You can always count on your legs!
>Suddenly it gives, and you launch yourself across the room to land on the couch with the crown in your hands.
"Hey," you pant, "We did it! We did..."
>Uh oh.
>Anonymous is slumped back against the couch.
>His mouth is hanging open and his eyes have rolled back, going crazy under his fluttering eyelids.
>He snaps to attention and stands up.
>"You did it Applebloom! You did it!"
>He comes around and picks you up, spinning you around in his arms.
>You notice in the corner of your eye Queen Selena has a hoof over her mouth, her eyes wide.
>"I'm free! I'm finally free!"
"Huh?"
>"I'm out of her e~evil clutches, now I can be my own man!"
>He suddenly turns very grim and takes the crown from your hooves.
>"Now to just...Oh no...I-I can't stop it!"
>The crown pulls his arms around in several different directions, then shoots down around your head.
>It sits more like a necklace.
>He gives you a very sad look.
>"I'm so sorry, Applebloom, but it looks like you're the King now."
>Oh horseapples!
>You didn't know it was cursed!
>That's why it wouldn't come off!
"B-but I don't wanna be a King! I wanna stay an Apple!"
>Maybe Twilight can figure something out!
>Or you could get Zecora to shrink your head or something to get it off.
>"Nope, sorry. You gotta figure out a way to get it off of you now, and I don't want it coming back to me.
>He stretches quickly and makes for the door.
>"Just remember, do whatever Queen Selena says, or you're in trouble, and take good care of the Moon! I'm gonna do whatever I want now, and nobody can stop me!"
>He opens the door and lets out a loud cackle.
>You start to hyperventilate.
"But Ah don't wanna be King! AH DON'T WANNA BE KING, GET IT OFF!"
>"Father, PLEASE!" you hear from the kitchen.
>Queen Selena lets out a hearty laugh and Anonymous strides back to you with a big smile on his face.
>His finger boops your nose.
>"Got you."
"W-what?"
>He slips the crown right off of you and back onto his head, lifting it up and down with one finger.
>Seeing your face, he scoops you up into a big hug.
>"It was just a little joke, I'm not mind-controlled or anything."
>Queen Selena stops laughing long enough to comment.
>"He does so enjoy pranks, young one. You are not the first to fall victim to his 'ruse cruise.'"
>You catch your breath and, after a moment, start to laugh.
>You try and give him a good sluggin like you do the girls, but it kind of hurts your hoof against his chest.
"You sure got me good, Yer Highness. I was in a right panic!"
>He laughs with you, not even noticing you hit him.
>He takes you back to the couch and sets you in his lap again.
>"Ah, gets them every time..."
>He leans down to whisper in your ear.
>"She does control me, though. Get help!"
>The queen gives him a kick in the leg, which actually causes him to flinch, but he laughs again.
>The Captain peeks her head in the room, her glowing eyes peeking out from under her hood.
>"Crown prank again?"
>Anonymous has a giant grin on his face.
>"Yup!"
>The captain doesn't look impressed.
>"At least Mother Moon did not send me to chase you down this time."
>"Oh, don't be such a debbie-downer. Have some fun once in a while!"
>"As you say, All-Father."
>She ducks back into the kitchen and Anonymous looks over to his wife.
>"Maybe we ought to give her more Leave."
>"You know she would not make use of it," she responds.
>"True, true...I think I'm gonna need a nap after all those carb-cakes, though."
>"Rest as you wish, it may be some time before our son has completed his negotiations."

===