A Good Friend, A Bad Influence

Arthur looks over his shoulde at Bei.
(Arthur Rowan)


Arthur Rowan asks, "Hello?"

Bei Bei says, "Hu-...I mean, Hi.."

Bei Bei asks, "Would you like to talk?"

Arthur Rowan says, "Mm. Beats just standing here, I suppose."

Arthur Rowan asks, "You wanted to take it elsewhere?"

Bei Bei says, "Sure."
Arthur simply slumps down on the grass right next to the beach. His expression is unusually apathetic - likely a result of emotional shielding after what happened between him and Theodore.

It didn't help that he's seen his brother in terrible condition, too.

His arms were placed over his knees, and his legs slightly outstretched. He decides to leave it up to Bei whether she wants to stand or sit by, and instead, simply asks a starting question.

"What'd you want to talk about?"
(Arthur Rowan)


 "I know it might take a lot out of you every time you hear someone say the same thing but ah-...I wanna think that I'm atleast different from everyone else." Her gaze drifts elsewhere in minor thought- and if it weren't for her sleeves being abnormally long, she would've attempted to clasp her hands together. In any event though- what seems to come forward with his new attitude is regret.

 "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for what happened- I...I never wanted you to fight for me like that- A-and I know that it wasn't really for me but I feel like that I had caused it." She says. "I got in the way between you and your brother and it's not somethin' I should do...I-I suppose?" she questions, beginning to turn upon her heel slightly.

 "So if-..If you don't wanna be friends after that, then I guess I understand. I just wanted to say that since you seem really sad and sad doesn't really look good on you-- N-not in a bad way at all, just.." She stammers and stumbles over her words.

 "I just know it hurts a lot- and you shouldn't hurt like that." They were kids, right? They still have years to enjoy- years to throw away...So, why shouldn't they use all of it instead of being like this?
(Bei Bei)

It almost felt like everyone was turning their back on Arthur.

Why would anyone think that he wishes to no longer be friends with people he'd known for a while, at this point? Now more than ever he appreciated at least some company, whoever that was - even some of Gehennans, such as the Nagual he'd spoken to, could at least distract him from horrible events that happened.

And now, she sounded as if... trying to make a distance?

"You... don't really need to be sorry, no. It's something that's been going on between me and Theodore for a while. It's... hard to explain."

Arthur burrowed his chin among his forearms, leaning just about slightly closer to his knees. Even his eyes seemed to close halfway down - sometimes, he no longer wished to even bother with reality of what's been going on, and just--

-- disappear. Anywhere, for as long as it gets him out of this.

But it was his fate to live through, his decisions to witness consequence of, his smiles to make and his tears to shed - it was all of his, and no matter how much he denied it, he wouldn't get away, ever.

"I don't want to be hurt, or hurt others..."

"I think I was born this way, sometimes. I'm not sure what came over me that moment, but-- feeling how I was able to unleash everything that was pent up between me and Theodore, in a single moment, it felt... satisfying almost."

"Is it wrong to enjoy something like this?"

A stupid question. Of course it was, but based on his explanation, it's almost easy to tell what exactly was going on between brothers.

Rivalry.
(Arthur Rowan)

It's not that she wanted to turn her back from him- no, that was one of the biggest things that she was frightened of because, in all honesty, she hadn't made many friends at this academy and...The friends that she did try to make even turned against her. After all, what seventeen year old girl decides to call a fourteen year old a 'bitch'? And what boy decides that it's good to attack someone that's young just for being happy and different?- but still, despite those things....No matter how much they hurt, she had still tried to smile. Even when smiling seems to put more weight on her shoulders in the end of it all..

 Regardless though- eventually, even she would have moved carefully, scooting to seat next to Arthur in silence while looking towards the dark ocean. Once again though, there was something vaguely familiar in the depths- golden, glowing orbs bubbling at the surface...But even something told her to not go closer,no matter the hypnotics of it all.

 "I guess it's the way that everyone reacted that made me feel like I was the bad one too." she says, shrugging her shoulders. "They said blood is thicker than water so I...Thought maybe that I was the problem." A brief frown is given, followed by a hand reaching outward, attempting to grasp onto Arthur's own to turn it over.

 "You know- sometimes, I like to think that losing control is bad." She adds, a finger raising lightly to poke at the center of his palm. "But sometimes, even I know that losing control feels good...I think that it's fine to do it every now and then, otherwise, you might just lose everything." There were times when she felt as if she might explode. Times, when she choked on her own emotions.

 "They say you can see a lot of your own future in your palm though-...And depending on the lines, you could see just how many battles and stuff you might be in. I think it just shows how much you might blow up." Though- if he were to look down at his palm, her own finger would raise, flicking him on the nose. A laugh.

 "Just kidding- but ah...It does feel good. But maybe because I'm ugly." A shrug. "I don't like doing bad things other but sometimes, even my magic tells me to.." A hand raises- and darkness coalesces slightly in her palm. "Everything about my magic is sorta..ugly..you know?"
(Bei Bei)

So many thoughts ran through his head.

All that he's been going through ever since he joined Academy and began his rise as magi, all of those conflicts he's faced, all of frustrations and genuinely disheartening moments he's been put through - his every single defeat when he was still weak, every time Theodore disowning him as a brother, and every time he was ostracized, cast aside, disregarded--

-- as just another unimportant boy.

But no, such fate was not for him. He remembers every single restless day and sleepless night that he pushed himself over the limits, how he disregarded any and all safety, just to be a small step closer to the greatness he aspired for, and now that he finally grasped it - such greatness was met with grievance and regret.

How? Wasn't he supposed to be happy?

"It-- sometimes feels like walking on the mountains... you're high up there, finally mighty, yet you can barely breath, the air is thin, you're afraid to fall."

"And where you'll land..."

Arthur felt her grasp his hand, trailing it about. In silence, his eyes watched, tracing the movement she made - if only to be flicked on his nose.

It was the first time he smiled in many days.

"I suppose it's not always bad... the more I look back at it, the more I realize where I landed is made me what I am today. And I don't think I became a bad person..."

Such sweet nothings. It was hardly moral what he did, but at least, such re-assurance kept him from completely crumbling away from this path.

"And, ah--"

"You're... not ugly."

His hand reached out to wrap over her shoulders, resting there, and his face turned to hers; despite these half-closed eyes, despite how there was still reflection of such tragic events that recently happened--

-- he smiled. It brought him solace, innerpeace.

"You're a good friend, Bei."

"Will you stay by my side?"
(Arthur Rowan)

She knows the feeling- being afraid to mess up when you're doing so well, that it almost makes it difficult to really enjoy. It's almost like walking on eggshells, knowing that they'll crack under your weight, but still trying-- trying desperately to not break each of them. In any event though, the young girl just sighs softly- for she too, was afraid to fail until it had actually happened. And then she became this way- a girl that had understood that sometimes, it's okay to fail. And that it's 'alright' for things to happen just as they do. In any event though- she nods..

 "I think that when we stop thinking of where we'll land- then it doesn't really...make matters that much worse." She murmurs briefly, her hand raising slightly to the bottom of her lip- tapping it lightly before she nods. "I don't think that you're bad either- even when people tried to say it...Iwas just hoping that you didn't really change too much." Because it was scary, almost. To see him suddenly snap. To see him injure his own brother in such a fashion-- she knew that newcomers to the scene wouldn't understand but she did...

 "You're good- and ah, ermm...You're not ugly either." Giggles are stifled with the tips of her fingers, and in moments like these, she finds it difficult to look towards the Rowan. "Ah-...Of course. That's what I'm here for anyways." She adds.

 "We're in this thing together- and, well...I think it'd be a really bad experience if you weren't here to share it, atleast.." Its good.

 "Did I tell you that me and my partner are ah...Making a club? I think that you should join! We don't really have a name yet, but it's gonna be really, really cool. It's about 'gambling' and 'wagers' and stuff..."

(Bei Bei)

To stop thinking where they'll land.

She had a point. Maybe Arthur worried too much what he will grow up to be, what sort of man he will eventually become, and how Agartha can change him with age? Maybe it was all in vain to worry over such things to begin with, and never a good thing at all?

Perhaps.

It's something he needed to consider. So many times he was hindered by thinking what would happen, but he never questioned himself what would not happen if he never did such things - how he would never grow, never experience anything new, never acknowledge just what he can be.

"Hrm…"

Sometimes, it was a scary thought to just consider the future like that. But thinking about what's been said, these words running through his mind again and again? Maybe it was okay to be afraid.

Maybe it was okay to be like this.

"I suppose... thanks for being here, Bei Bei."

She'd done something only one other person ever done to him - to simply listen how Arthur feels about it, to hear him out and actually express herself on that matter. It's from little things like this, a proper friendship was built.

A bond was being forged.

"Oh! A club? And uh... gambling and wagers? So you're like... trying to make money with it, I assume?"

It was quite a swift topic change, however.
(Arthur Rowan)