Tusktaker's Secret Part 17

	Thomas ran back to his car as fast he could, try to push what he did out of his mind. He knew this was going to be hard, but seeing on the look on Lorka’s face when they broke up….God damn, he almost broke down and took it all back right there. But he HAD to do this; otherwise she was going to be miserable.  She’d have her father and her career and her clan. In the long run, Thomas knew he was less important. He just wanted her to be happy.

So why was he crying? He tried to wipe the tears from his eyes before he climbed into his car.
As Thomas sped out of the park, he kept thinking about that look of absolute sadness on Lorka’s face. He was just looking out for what was best for his Aru’ka…No, he wasn’t her Aru’ka. Not anymore. He couldn’t dwell on this; if he did it was just going to hurt even more. He needed to clear his head. Maybe some music would take the edge off? Thomas flicked through various stations before setting on “Cat-Groove Crooners”, a small station that specialized in big band and jazz.

"Hello children! For those tuning next up is Frank Sinatra’s classic, In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning, for when you cats are missing that extra special someone!”

''In the wee small hours of the morning
while the whole wide world is fast asleep
you lie awake and think about the girl
And never ever think of counting sheep''

Thomas’s lazily tapped his finger on the steering wheel as he continued to drive, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. His mind drifted to Lorka and what she was doing. Was she okay? Did she get back home all right? What if she was wandering around and did something stupid because of their break-up?

''When your lonely heart has learned its lesson
You'd be hers if only she would call
In the wee small hours of the morning
That's the time you miss her most of all''
Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn’t Jor’ak understand? All of this Tusktaker family bullshit…Thomas sighed as he tried to hold back his tears. Godammit. Why was he so weak? Why couldn’t he be the Aru’ka Lorka deserved?

''When your lonely heart has learned its lesson
You'd be hers if only she would call
In the wee small hours of the morning
That's the time you miss her most of all''

He wanted to call her, to tell her that he was an idiot. But he knew the damage was done. Lorka probably hate him now, or at the very least didn’t ever want to see him again. And he wouldn’t blame her. Thomas scowled as he looked at the radio. Godammit, fuck this song! This was the last thing he needed right now! He smashed the off button hard enough to jam the off button. But as silence filled the car, he felt more alone with his thoughts than ever before.

Thomas pulled into the driveway at his house. Home sweet fucking home. At least he could be by himself. As he walked in the door, he angrily kicked off his shoes and slammed the keys on the small table by the door. He just wanted to sleep and fade away from all these feelings until tomorrow.

After a quick shower, Thomas threw on some a nightshirt and some boxers and flopped on his bed. At least this day couldn’t get any worse. That’s when his phone started ringing. It was his mother.
Oh God why? Why now?

 “Thomas, sweetie! How’s my baby doing?”

“I’m fine.” Thomas tried to sound like he was alright, but his voice cracked a little bit. Luckily his Mom didn’t seem to notice.
“I just wanted to call and tell you, I’m going to be relocating back to the city. Soooo, I’ll be coming home in a couple weeks!”

“For how long?” He asked.
“It’s going to be a management position so, indefinitely. You won’t have to be all by yourself anymore!”

“That’s…that’s great mom. I’m really happy for you. I can’t wait for you to come home.” He was happy for her. Really. He missed her a lot. But he really just wanted to get off the phone and be left alone. Hopefully she wouldn’t notice.

“Thomas, are you okay?” Dammit…of course she would. She was his mother, after all.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said, trying to sound convincing.
“You sound distraught. What’s going on, sweetie?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Did something happen with Lorka?”

“We broke up, Mom.” He said softly.

The line was quiet for a moment. “I’m very sorry, Thomas. What happened?”

“I guess you could say I wasn’t the person she needed. Her dad hates me because I’m human. It was this whole big thing. I was supposed to eat dinner with Lorka and her mom, and then her dad showed up and started fighting with Lorka. Things got out of hand. We almost got into a fight. He wanted her to give up on college. Then he started going into this whole thing about how I pulled Lorka down. And he was right. So I broke things off. For her sake.”

“Thomas… I’m sure you’re really stressed out. This isn’t your fault, so don’t blame yourself for what happened. Get some rest, try not to think about it, and then we can figure out to do from there. Okay?”

“Okay, Mom.”

“I love you, Boo Bear.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

Thomas ended the call and let out a ragged sigh as laid back on his bed. He began to tear up as he thought of Lorka. She looked so sad…seeing her like that broke his heart. God, he hoped he made the right choice. Thomas closed his eyes and burrowed into his covers. At least he’d fixed things with her dad. She’d be better off without me anyway, he thought. That’s what he told himself at least. Thomas finally managed to drift off to sleep around 3 AM. But the entire night, he was tormented by guilt over what he’d done.