Ask HN: how to gain trust and set boundaries at work?

Context:
I'm looking for a new job and I've recognized a pattern at some of my previous places that I'd like to correct. I usually don't gain enough trust to influence process in a positive and lasting way. People usually suggest talking to management about these things, and I do, until I'm given reason not to (missed promises/bad faith, but they're usually polite about it! bit more below). Usually I end up finding that management is very practical, which is a good thing. I've learned to balance different concerns and have a bias towards action. I've been lucky to work with excellent engineers and excellent management and I've learned a lot.

I've also learned what I want. I want a good, hopefully interesting job, where the people are nice and reasonably competent, and I make a decent wage. Then I want to go home. I have hobbies/health/interests to maintain and explore, and demands on my time will only increase. I'm happy to work extra in case of emergency, but I see no reason to work like I'm in a startup when I'm not being compensated that way nor was that part of the original agreement.

With that context (feels like spin when I write it all out, but I do work hard, do my best to be efficient and honest, and have learned a lot of different tech on hard timelines sacrificing lots of my personal time for little benefit to myself)... onto the questions.

Trust:
How do you gain trust in a new environment? I've seen other developers do it by working extra hard for the first couple of months to deliver things faster or fix languishing issues other developers haven't had time allocated to fix. I don't like this approach. It sets a bad precedent and makes it harder to set boundaries in the future. Otherwise I like it, and if it was temporary I'd be all for it.

The only other way I can think of is learning more about people (learn their names quickly, their interests, and listen to them). I personally prefer to interact with people through good and interesting work, but hobbies are cool too.

Looking for more ideas to gain trust with management (as well as co-workers, but I usually don't have issues there).

Boundaries:
Onto the second (related) question. How do you set (and when do you reinforce) boundaries at work? I've heard of a couple strategies that I'll list below... but the closest I've gotten is just pointing out issues in the process (this ticket doesn't have AC, if I need to track down AC that takes more time. I'm happy to do it, but it obviously takes extra time). Doing this is not a recipe for setting boundaries, it's a recipe for isolation. You get labeled as a complainer, rather than someone who's trying to do 2w of work in 2w, or someone who's trying to increase the health of the systems within/on which you work. Second closest was burning out and getting pity recovery time and compliments. I'm looking for new ideas.

Quick other strategies I've heard of and flaws I can see:
- List your tasks and ask your boss to prioritize them, pointing out that you don't have enough time
  - This seems a bit confrontational to me, like it would damage the long-term relationship if you don't do it carefully
- Simply saying no
  - Also seems confrontational/damaging
  - Very vague... when do you say no? to what? how?

I want to have a good professional relationship with the people that I work with, but not at the expense of my time outside work or my personal and professional goals. I need to be able to (at the bare minimum) keep work at work. Ideally  I'd keep the software/processes I work on/in maintainable and even fun to work with!

Thanks so much for reading and I'm hopeful to lean on your wisdom to create a more sustainable work life for myself so I can grow, accomplish more, and have a happy work/home life.