One Year Ago

One Year Ago

He immediately recognized the woman he was looking for.

It was an early holiday afternoon. Children were playing on the grass, bathed in the peaceful sunlight of early autumn. Their parents watched over them, smiling. The plaza, centered around the park fountain, was teeming with the cityfolk who had brought their families for relaxation.

Even with the crowd in his way, he didn’t lose her.

No matter how crowded, no matter the distance, he was sure finding her would be an easy task. Even though he didn’t know whether he could even meet with her once a month. Even though she already had a partner.

The woman was seated in the shade of the trees. She only noticed him when he walked right up to her.

"— Hey. Long time no see.”

“Oh — Kariya-kun.”

She lifted her eyes from her book and gave a modest, courteous smile.

Worn out — at the sight of her, Kariya felt seized by helpless anxiety. Something was tormenting her.

He felt a sudden urge to ask about the source of that trouble, to exert himself and find a solution to that ‘something’ — but there was no way he could bring it up, no matter how much he wanted to. He wasn’t close enough to devote such unreserved kindness. It wasn’t his place.

“It’s been three months. The trip’s been pretty long this time.”

“Ah… Eh, yes.”

In his good dreams, her smile never fails to appear. But he can never find the courage to face her when she’s right in front of him. That’s how it’s been for the past eight years. Kariya will probably never see that smile again.

Because she makes him so nervous, he can never work out what to say after the greeting. And so a pregnant pause develops. That also happens every time.

To break the awkward silence, Kariya looked for the one person he could easily talk to.

— There. Playing on the grass in the midst of the other children, her twin ponytails dancing happily about. Though still very young, the girl’s developing features already showed traces of her mother’s beauty.

"Rin-chan."


Kariya called her name and waved. As soon as she noticed, the girl he had called Rin rushed towards him with a bright smile.

“Welcome back, Uncle Kariya! Do you have a present for me?”

“No, Rin! That was rude…”

The young girl seems oblivious to her mother’s embarrassed voice. Rin’s eyes shine expectantly, and Kariya, responding with the same smile, holds out one of the two presents he has behind his back.

“Wow, pretty…”

It is an elaborate brooch, made of glass beads of varying sizes, and it captures her heart at first glance. Though it might seem a bit much for a girl of her age, Kariya is well aware of Rin’s precocious tastes.

“Thank you, Uncle. I’ll take good care of it.”

“Haha, I’m glad you like it.”

Gently stroking Rin’s head, Kariya looks for the intended recipient of his other present.

For some reason, she’s nowhere in sight…

“Say, where’s Sakura-chan?”

At Kariya’s question, Rin’s smile instantly vanished.

Her face looked like she stopped thinking completely. It was the face of a resigned child, forced into mindless acceptance of reality.

“Sakura’s… not here.”

Blank-faced, Rin replied in monotone. Then she ran back to her earlier playmates. It was like she was trying to avoid Kariya’s question.

“…”

At first, he felt bewildered by her incomprehensible words - then it hit him. He fixed Rin’s mother with a questioning glare. She looked away gloomily, casting her eyes on empty space.

“…What does that mean?”

“Sakura is no longer my daughter or Rin’s little sister.”

Her tone was dry, but more courageous than her daughter’s had been.

“That child has gone to the Matou family.”

Ma- tou —
It was like the deeply familiar and yet abhorrent name had violently ripped his heart out.

“That can’t… What the hell does that mean, Aoi-san?!”

“You shouldn’t even need to ask, should you? Especially not you, Kariya-kun.”

Indifferent, refusing to look at him, Tohsaka Aoi gave a harsh and cold reply that crushed his heart.

“You of all people should know why the Matous needed a child with Magi blood to succeed them.”

“How… how could you accept that?”

“It was his decision. The head of the Tohsaka family decided to give our old allies, the Matous, what they requested. It wasn’t my place to interfere.”

That was why mother and child, older and younger sister, had been separated.

Of course she would have disagreed. But both of them, Aoi and even young Rin, knew well why they had no choice but to accept it. It was because that was what it meant to live as a Mage. Kariya knew that cruel fate all too well.

“…And are you fine with that?”

In reply to Kariya’s rock-hard voice, Aoi gives a feeble, bitter smile.

“I was prepared for something like this when I decided to marry into the Tohsaka family and become a Mage’s wife. It’s wrong for those of Magi blood to expect the happiness of a normal family.”

Kariya tried to speak again. Facing him, the Mage’s wife stopped him gently but clearly —

“This matter lies between the Tohsakas and the Matous. It should be of no concern to you, who turned your back on the world of Magi.”

She finished with a slight nod.

Kariya was frozen to the spot. Weakness and helplessness constricted his chest, as if he had turned into one of the trees in the park.

Aoi’s attitude towards him had never changed. Not since long ago, when she had been a girl, or when she had become a wife, or even when she had borne two children. Three years older than him, his friend since infancy, she had always attended to Kariya kindly and unreservedly, like a real sister would treat her brother.

This was the first time she had pointed out their respective positions so clearly.

“If you see Sakura, please be kind to her. She’s always been fond of you, Kariya-kun.”

With Aoi’s eyes on her, Rin was playing brightly and energetically, like she was trying to chase her mother’s grief away.

It was as if Rin’s very behaviour was the reply that made the speechless man beside her take a step back. Tohsaka Aoi’s poise was that of a peaceful mother in the middle of the holidays.

But even so, Kariya didn’t miss it. There was no way he could have missed it.

The firm, serene Tohsaka Aoi who accepted her fate.

She couldn’t even completely hide the tears gathering at the corner of her eyes.

※※※※※

Kariya hastened through the scenery of the hometown he had thought he would never see again.

No matter how many times he came back to the city of Fuyuki, he had always refused to cross the bridge to Miyama.

It must have been ten years by now. Unlike the Shinto area, where everyday business continued to thrive, nothing had changed in the neighbourhood where time seemed to have stopped.

The streets were quiet and filled with memories – but even if he did stop to have a look, none of those recollections were pleasant. So he ignored such worthless nostalgia and let his mind go back to his conversation with Aoi an hour ago.

“…And are you fine with that?”

And averting her gaze, Aoi had absolved him of all responsibility without a second thought. He hadn’t used so sharp a tone in years.

Don’t raise your eyes, don’t be a bother… that was how he had lived. Anger, hatred – Kariya had left them all in the desolate streets of Miyama. He had never complained about anything ever again after discarding his hometown. Even the foulest, most repulsive things were nothing compared to what he had hated here.

That was why — yeah. It must have been eight years since his voice had held such feelings.

Last time, hadn’t it been with the same woman? Hadn’t he used the same tone, the same words?

“And are you fine with that?” — He had fired the same question that time. Turning towards his senior childhood friend, the night before she would receive the name of Tohsaka. He had never forgotten her expression.

She had given a small nod, like she was sorry, like she was apologizing – but a shy blush had been on her face. Kariya had been defeated by that quiet smile.

 “I was prepared… It’s wrong to expect the happiness of a normal family…”

Those words were nothing but lies.

When she had been proposed to by the young Mage eight years ago, her smile had definitely shown her belief in happiness.

And so, because he trusted that smile, Kariya had fully accepted his defeat.

Perhaps the man who was marrying Aoi really was the only man who could make her happy.

But that had been a mistake.

He should have recognised it as a fatal mistake more than anyone else.

Hadn’t he rejected his fate and left his family because he had realised just how despicable Magecraft really was?

But he could forgive himself for that.

Even though he had turned his back in fear, fully aware of the abomination that was Magecraft… the woman most important to him had surrendered to, of all people, the man who was most like a Mage.

What now burns in his chest is regret.

He had chosen the wrong words not only once, but twice.

He shouldn’t have asked are you fine with that? He should have concluded that you mustn’t do it.

And eight years ago, if he had restrained Aoi — perhaps the future would have been different from today. If she hadn’t bound herself to Tohsaka that day, she would have escaped the cursed doom of a Mage. She could have led a normal life.

And today, this afternoon in the park, if he had reacted differently to the agreement between the Tohsakas and the Matous — perhaps he could have shocked her. She could have rejected the nonsense of an outsider.

But even then, she couldn’t put the blame on herself like that. She didn’t have to force down her tears.

There was no way he could forgive himself now. He, who had repeated the mistake twice. For his punishment, he had returned to the place of the days he had left behind.

Certainly, the way to atonement was there. The world he had once turned his back on. The fate he had so poorly escaped.

But now, he could meet it head-on.

If he just thought of the one woman in the world whom he didn’t want to grieve for —
Under a sky tinged by the approaching twilight, he stopped in front of a towering, luxuriant, western-style home.

Emerging from a void of ten years, Matou Kariya stood before the gate of his home again.


※※※※※

Starting from the front door, the small but dangerous dispute soon travelled inside the Matou residence, where Kariya settled on a sofa in the drawing room.

“I’m surprised a failure like you would dare to show his face here. I believe I told you to never let me see you again.”

The small, old man who sat across from Kariya and spat those disgusted words was Matou Zouken, head of the family. With his bald head and withered limbs, he almost looked like a mummy - but there was a light deep inside his eyes that seemed to fill his spirit. Both his looks and temperament showed an unnatural, mysterious person.

Truth being told, even Kariya couldn’t work out just how old the old man was. The abnormal entry in the family register said he was the father of Kariya and his brother. But the old man named Zouken was in the family tree with his great-grandfather, his third-generation ancestor. There was no way to deduce how many generations this man had ruled over the Matou family.

Speaking of repulsive deeds, he was a Mage who had reached the point of technical immortality, extending his age without limit. He was a person at the very root of the Matou bloodline, with little real relation to Kariya. He was a genuine ghoul who had survived to the present day.

"I’ve been told of something that I can’t forgive. A despicable act committed by the Matous."

Kariya had admitted many times that the Mage he was now facing was powerful and possessed unequalled cruelty. He was the embodiment of everything Kariya had come to hate, to despise, to scorn throughout his life. Even if that man were to kill him, Kariya would definitely, unreservedly hate him until the end. During their confrontation ten years ago, Kariya had faced down that strong will and escaped the Matous, earning his freedom.

"I hear you’ve adopted Tohsaka’s younger daughter. Are you really that desperate to preserve magical affinity in the Matou lineage?"

At the provoking tone of his inquiry, Zouken scowled.

"You, of all people, are telling me that’s wrong? Whose fault do you think it is that the Matou family has fallen so low?

The boy we were waiting for, Byakuya’s son, has no Magic Circuits. This generation will end, and the pure-blooded line of the Matous will go with it. But you had much more potential than your older brother, Kariya. Had you agreed to carry on the family name and learn the Matou secrets, this wouldn’t have happened. Yet you..."

He had begun to rave heatedly, specks of spittle gracing the corners of his mouth. Snorting, Kariya shrugged off the old man’s threatening air.

"Enough of this nonsense, vampire. Why do you care so much about the Matous? Don’t make me laugh. Even if the line does die out, it’s hardly any inconvenience for you. How long will you keep on living? Two hundred years? A thousand?"

He had guessed right. Zouken leered, as if his previous anger had been completely feigned. It was the smile of a monster that didn’t care for human emotions, even as nothing but broken splinters.

“As usual, you don’t show much love for your dear old father. You were always one to speak your mind.”

"It’s how you raised me. I don’t beat about the bush."

A wet gurgle came from the depths of the old man’s throat, as if he were laughing pleasantly.

“Right, right. There’s a chance that you might outlive me in some distant future, even more than Byakuya’s son.

But I cannot stave off the rot that plagues my body forever. A Matou heir may be unnecessary, but I still need a Matou Mage. To retrieve the Grail, that is.”

"...So. That’s what you want, is it?"

It fitted his guess. It was immortality that the old Mage was set on obtaining.

The wish-granting machine known as the Grail could fulfil it once it was completed… it was the hope placed in this miracle that was causing this monster, who had refused to die for centuries, to choke with laughter.

"By next year, the sixty years will have elapsed. But the Matou family has no pawns to offer for the 4th Holy Grail War.

Unlike you, your brother Byakuya lacks the prana to control a Servant. There’s no chance of him even getting the Command Seals.

But even if we let this round pass, we can win the next one sixty years from now. The Tohsaka girl’s womb will produce a talented Mage. She has quite the potential as a vessel, she does.”


Tohsaka Sakura’s face appeared in Kariya’s mind.

A late bloomer who always hid behind her sister Rin, a frail-looking girl.

A child far too young to bear the cruel fate of a Mage.
Swallowing his seething rage, Kariya feigned calmness.

He was here to negotiate with Zouken. There was nothing to gain from being emotional.

"— So basically, you’ll have no use for Tohsaka Sakura once you obtain the Grail?"

Zouken’s eyes narrowed, suspicious of the hidden meaning in Kariya’s words.

"You... what do you have in mind?"

"A trade, Matou Zouken. I will represent the Matous in this coming war. In return, you will release Tohsaka Sakura."

Zouken was only taken aback for the space of a single breath. Then he sniggered scornfully.

“You’re a fool. You’re a failure who hasn’t trained a single day of your life. You’re saying you’ll become a Master in the space of a single year?"

"You have the ability to make that happen, don’t you? With the bug-wielding skills you’re so proud of, old man."

Kariya jumped straight to the point, staring the old Mage straight in the face.

"Implant Crest Worms inside me. It shouldn’t be a problem for someone with filthy Matou blood. At any rate, I should be far more compatible than the daughter of another house."

Zouken’s face reverted from human to Mage, all expression vanishing.

"Kariya — you want to die?"

"Don't tell me you're worried for me, Father?"

Zouken seemed to realise that he was serious. He scanned him with a cold gaze, and then took a deep breath.

“I always thought you had more potential than Byakuya. If the Crest Worms expand your Magic Circuits and we train you thoroughly for a year, there’s a small chance that the Grail might choose you.

... Even then, I cannot understand. Why would you go so far for one little girl?"

"The Matous can fulfil their own desires by themselves. I won’t let bystanders get involved."

"Again with your admirable dedication."

Zouken gave a complacent smile, filled to the brim with his evil disposition. He seemed to be enjoying this.

"If you’re trying to keep her out of this, Kariya... you’re a little late.

Do you know how many days it’s been since the Tohsaka girl came to our family?"

Despair rushed in and crushed Kariya’s chest.

"You old bastard, you can’t have —"

"She was crying pretty loudly for the first three days. She stopped screaming on the fourth day, though. I threw her into the bug room this morning to see how long she’d last. She’s been ravaged for half a day, and she’s still breathing. The Tohsakas really aren’t bad at all.”

Kariya’s shoulders shook with a murderous intent that surpassed hatred.

He wanted to seize the evil Mage by the neck, throttle him with all his strength and snap it right that instant —

— That was the impulse that raged inside him.

But he bore it. Even though he had shrivelled to the point of withering, Zouken was still a Mage. Kariya couldn’t even try to kill him here. He didn’t have even a fragment of the power required for that.

To save Sakura, he had no choice but to negotiate.

Seeing the conflict within him, Zouken let out a satisfied, ominous chuckle.

"Well, what will you do? A single broken girl, violated by bugs from head to toe.

If you still wish to save her, I’ll consider it."

"... No objection. I’ll do it."

Kariya gave a cold reply. Of course, he had no other choice.

"Excellent, excellent. Well, I suppose you aren’t a completely lost case. I’ll continue educating Sakura until you show me some results, though."

The old Mage’s cackling good humour was making a fool out of Kariya, with all his rage and despair.

“Far better that I should get a child from her than rely on a failed traitor. However, I believe in making the most of every opportunity. Very well. I’ll give up on this Heaven’s Feel. We were bound to lose it, anyhow.

But if you do manage to somehow retrieve the Grail, then I’ll have no further use for the little girl. Her education will be finished.”

"...You won’t go back on your word, will you, Matou Zouken?"

“Kariya, try enduring the Crest Worms before questioning my integrity.

Yes, start by serving as the bugs’ breeding ground for a week. If you don’t die of madness, then I’ll recognise that you’re serious about this."

Leaning on his cane and straightening up with difficulty, Zouken turned towards Kariya with an alien smile that showed the full extent of his wickedness.

“We’ll begin the treatment immediately. If you want to reconsider, do it now."

Kariya only nodded silently and threw away his last hesitation.

He would be Zouken’s puppet as soon as he let the worms inside his body. There would be no way to rebel against the old Mage after that. If he could even get qualified as a Mage, Kariya, with his Matou blood, would definitely receive the Command Spells.

 Heaven’s Feel. The only chance of salvation for Tohsaka Sakura. The choice he would never be able to make with this body.

He would be Zouken’s puppet once the worms entered him. Any chance of resistance would be .





He will be Zōken's puppet once he lets the worms inside his body. With that, there will be no way to rebel against the old magus. If he can even get qualified as a magus, Kariya and his Matō blood will definitely receive the Command Seals.

Heaven's Feel. The only chance of salvation for Tōsaka Sakura. The choice he would never be able to reach with this flesh and blood.

Kariya may lose his life in exchange. Even if he wasn't shot down by the other Masters,
Kariya's flesh would be devoured by the worms by bringing up the Crest worms for a time as short as a year, and his life expectancy would not be longer than only a few years.

But that doesn't matter.

Kariya's decision was too slow. Aoi's child would have lived peacefully with her mother if he had had the same determination 10 years ago. The fate he had refused had been passed around, and had fallen onto a blameless girl.

There is no redemption for that. If there was a path to atonement, it would be none other than to give back a normal life to the girl.

In addition, if he had to completely wipe out the remaining six Masters to reach the Grail...

Amongst those who brought tragedy to the girl named Sakura, there was at least one person he could bring a requiem to.

"Tōsaka, Tokiomi..."

As the head of one of the 3 families of the beginning, there is no doubt he would bear the Command Seals.

Different from his sense of crime toward Aoi, and from his hatred toward Zōken, there was a dwelling hatred that had pilled up until this day.

A dark feeling of vengeance had quietly started to burn in the depth of Matō Kariya's heart like a banked fire.