WISH I HAD UNLISTED PASTES STILL w/e here's chair tf + farts

Admittedly, Addie didn’t know Cedar very well. Cedar only moved in with Rayas and Hayden after Addie moved into her own apartment. She spent time with him before in the company of her former roommates, but the two didn’t speak directly to each other all that often. From what she’s been told, and from the few times she spent time with him, she knew he was a computer programmer, started dating someone in the past couple of weeks, and was genderfluid, currently with a preference for male pronouns. The one other thing Addie knew was that for whatever reason, he lived in the attic away from the other two. Apparently neither of his roommates had even been inside of the attic since he moved in per Cedar’s request, which amazed Addie. Being a maid, she was notorious for keeping every inch of her apartment practically spotless, and the thought of a roommate having an entire room where she couldn’t go in and at least tidy up drove her crazy. Nevertheless, Addie liked Cedar, even though she was at least a little suspicious of what he did in the attic. Hayden suggested the two should hang out more sometime a while back, and with Hayden and Rayas gone for a camping retreat, today was the perfect opportunity for the two to get to know each other better.

At around 2:30 in the afternoon, Addie decided to call Cedar and ask if she could hang out at his place. She didn’t have a real plan of what they could do together as she didn’t really know what the bat liked to do for fun, but she knew what Hayden and Rayas liked, and if he got along well with them, they must have something in common. She’ll probably just play video games with him, or watch a couple of movies together, Addie thought.

It was a while before Cedar actually answered. “Hello?” Cedar said in a low, groggy and confused sounding voice.

“Hey Cedar, it’s me Addie, I was wo- wait are you just waking up right now?”

“I’m nocturnal, fuck off,” he quickly responded.

“Wait, I’m not bothering you, am I? I’m so sorry, I’ll let you get back to sleep now,” Addie replied in a bit of a panicked voice.

“Girl chill, I’m joking. I needed to get up soon anyway, what’s up?” Cedar said as he stretched and got out of bed.

“Okay well, if you’re not doing anything later today, would it be cool if I came over for a bit? I mean, must be kinda boring there without Rayas and Hayden there.”

“Oh uh, sure thing,” Cedar responded as he looked at himself in the mirror. “Be here in like, a half-hour I guess? I still have to shower and get dressed.”

“Alright, cool. See you then!”

Addie ended the call and put her phone in her backpack. She didn’t live very far away, but if she wanted to get there by walking she’d have to leave the apartment relatively soon. After quickly getting ready, she trekked over towards Cedar’s house. Addie never minded long walks, in fact she deliberately took a longer route through the woods. She admired nature, and while she didn’t mind living in a city, it was always nice to escape it for a little bit.

Cedar, meanwhile, threw on a white tank top and a pair of sweatpants as he prepared for Addie to arrive. He didn’t have any concrete plans on how they were going to spend the day, but had a couple of ideas. Ideally, Cedar wanted to go browse around thrift stores. There wasn’t anything Cedar needed to buy in particular, but he enjoyed browsing old antiques and decorating his room in the attic with the weirdest posters he could find.

Just as 3:00 rolled around, Cedar heard a knock at the door. “Heyya,” Addie said as Cedar opened it.

“Sup. Come on in,” Cedar said as he stepped aside.

Addie instantly took notice in how clean the living room was, it probably hadn’t been that clean since she moved out. “Oh wow, this place looks a lot nicer than the last time I was here,” she said as she sat down on the couch.

“Yeah well, the usual suspect isn’t here to leave Dorito crumbs everywhere. You want anything from the fridge?” Cedar asked.

“No thanks, I brought my water bottle. So, you wanna like, play video games or something? I mean, I’m down for whatever.”

“Well, I know you just got here and it was kind of a far walk, but personally I’d want to head out and go shopping at a thrift shop or something. We can just chill in the house for a bit though.”

“Oh yeah, sure. I’d be down for that.”

“Hey so, if you don’t mind me asking,” Cedar began to speak as he sat in the chair across from Addie. “What’s being a maid like? I mean, Rayas said you wear the outfit and everything, is that true? I mean, I knew you owned one, but I feel like Rayas is lying when she says you wear it for your clients.”

Addie sat up a bit. “Oh uh, I mean, it’s fine? Basically I just put up ads online asking if anybody needs a maid and I just wait for responses. And I didn’t originally wear the outfit, that came later, some pervert offered to pay me triple if I wore it. The outfit makes dudes go nuts, hell I don’t even have to actually clean that much. I can just bend over and sweep the same cabinet over and over and they’re too busy drooling to even notice. It’s kind of degrading, but it’s good pay.”

“Well shit, you might as well just become a camgirl if that’s the case.” Cedar responded, a bit shocked that Rayas wasn’t lying.

“Eh, I’ve thought about it. ...Anyway, what about your job, programming right?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s a lot less exciting than your job, I just stay cooped up in the attic all night on my computer. Just like, sitting down for hours on end. In fact, I got a lot of work tonight that I’ll have to do after this. At least I can eat on the job.”

“That’s one perk I guess.” Addie said while looking at her phone. “Wait shit,” Addie said as she noticed the time. “Thrift stores close super early on Sundays, don’t they? We should probably head out like, now.”

“Fuck, okay,” Cedar responded as he got up from his chair. “If we catch the bus soon, we should be able to make it with plenty of time to look around so, c’mon.”

The two quickly left the house and made their way to the nearest bus stop. The buses tended to arrive later than the times posted online, which bothered the often impatient Cedar.

“Seriously, I hate public transit. I mean, I’m probably gonna end up sitting next to someone with a crying baby or someone who hasn’t showered during this century. I swear I always do, also the bus is gonna be like ten minutes late and we’re probably not even gonna have enough time to look around,” Cedar ranted to a confused looking Addie.

“Uh, wow, didn’t know you hated taking the bus so much. Maybe you should have flown on your wings or something,” Addie said in a sarcastic sounding tone.

“I may not be able to fly but my wings are still more useful than those weird second pair of bug arms you have, I mean, what are those things even for?,” he replied.

Addie leaned in and jabbed him with her right scythe, knocking him back a bit. “That.”

Just as Cedar was about to respond, Addie noticed the bus approaching from down the street. “Oh look, the bus is here, imagine that,” Addie said while Cedar turned his head to look.

“Whatever,” he muttered.

The two proceeded to hop on and pay their bus fare. The bus was surprisingly empty with only a couple of other passengers, who were spread out enough to allow the two to sit next to each other with empty seats beside them. Addie made a couple of snide comments at Cedar’s expense, which he rolled his eyes at.

“This isn’t my normal experience ya know.”

“Uh-huh. So what are you looking to find, anyway?”

“I dunno just like, stuff, ya know?” Cedar said as he looked out the window. “Hey, I think this is our stop.”

The two hopped out of the bus, with Addie stopping to thank the driver out of courtesy. The thrift store was still another block over, which slightly annoyed the already ticked-off Cedar. Addie noticed Cedar was a little on edge and didn’t say anything on the walk over, although wondered why he suggested the two go in the first place if he didn’t like taking the bus, especially if the bus ride was significantly more pleasant than he expected. She shrugged it off though, she was just happy to get out of the house. If Cedar wasn’t enjoying himself, that was on him.

But Cedar’s mood completely changed once the two arrived in the parking lot. His eyes lit up as he noticed a giant sign in the window.

“BIG BLOWOUT SALE, EVERYTHING 50% OFF!” Cedar excitedly read out loud. “Oh wow, I had no idea this was today. I mean, I knew this store has a giant sale like this once a year but the dates are always random. And they don’t advertise it on Facebook or anything either, manager says something about wanting to incentivize customers coming in everyday just to check if it’s the huge sale. I mean, this is incredible luck Addie.”

Addie looked around at the parking lot, just about every parking space was taken. She was thankful that they hadn’t driven over, not that either of them owned a car to begin with.

“Sure seems packed. Guess that’s why the bus was so empty earlier, everybody’s here already.”

“I mean, yeah, just because they don’t say anything on social media doesn’t mean other people don’t.”

“You knew the sale was today, didn’t you?” Addie smirked.

“Okay, yeah, I lied. So sue me. Hurry up though, we gotta make sure we can get the good stuff.”

The two made their way into the shop. It was considerably larger than most thrift stores, with rows of various knick-knacks and other oddities. Normally, there would be a semblance of order with stocking the items, but the overcrowded store and abundance of customers meant the store was a disorganized mess, much to the dismay of the employees. Addie complained to Cedar about how old electronics shouldn’t be in the book section, how the clothes weren’t color coordinated, and a myriad of other problems. Cedar didn’t pay much attention though, as he was too busy swiftly skimming through the aisles while he made his way towards the back of the store. Nothing in particular stood out to him, he mostly collected old movie posters and video games. Cedar reached the “EMPLOYEES ONLY” door and signaled for Addie to come closer.

“Hey, be quiet for a second,” Cedar whispered to a still rambling Addie. “Make sure there aren’t any employees around, yeah?”

“Wait, seriously? Why are you sneaking into the employees only section? Do you want to get kicked out or something?” Addie said as she rolled her eyes.

“You see how busy this place is? Nobody’s going to be back there, trust me. They have all their employees either on register or roaming around the store. And keep your voice down, I don’t want to get caught,” Cedar said in a hushed voice.

“Okay, well, why do you want in there anyway?” Addie quietly replied.

“Because, this is where all the good stuff’s gonna be. They’re not going to want to sell all the cool shit for half price, that’s why there’s so much junk out there. But... hypothetically, if someone were to sneak into the back and managed to get an item to the front, the employees on register would probably be too busy to even notice the item wasn’t up for sale.”

“They’ll notice there’s no price listed for it, smart guy,” Addie muttered.

Cedar pulled out a permanent marker from his jeans pocket. “Already thought of that. Just gotta write a price on the back and they’ll never know. I’ll write expensive prices too, if it makes you happy.”

Addie sighed and checked if there were any employees nearby. “Okay, fine. As long as you’re not shoplifting then I’ll help you out. I don’t see anybody coming.”

Cedar didn’t say anything in response. He quickly slipped through the door and left it slightly open for Addie to follow him. The back room was dimly lit and even less organized than the messy storefront. It was fairly large too, which surprised the pair. They silently crept around the room, in case someone was back there with them. At first, it looked like there was nothing but more junk, but the more the two explored the weirder the items became. Addie found a box of old records, but there were no covers, only record sleeves. The titles were written on them in some language she didn’t recognize. In fact, she wasn’t even sure what script it was due to the shaky handwriting. It looked like a weird cross between Latin and Cyrillic. She wanted to pull out her phone and search up some of the artists, but she had no idea how she’d even type in their names. Cedar, meanwhile, was browsing a collection of seemingly bootleg video games when he noticed something from across the room.

“Ooh, Addie, come check this out,” he said as he walked to the other side.

Addie stopped messing with the records and made her way towards Cedar. There was a small red wooden chair in front of them. It looked worn down and easily breakable to Addie. The legs were far too thin and there appeared to be a bit of water damage as well, she thought.

“Uh, cool. It’s a chair. And kind of a shitty one at that,” she said as she was getting ready to walk away.

“Okay but look at this.” Cedar turned the chair around to reveal a strange and intricate carving on the back. It was a weird collection of shapes and lines, each stroke unique. It was certainly bizarre, but not particularly interesting to Addie.

“Guess that’s kinda cool,” Addie shrugged.

“I want it,” Cedar pulled out his marker and flipped the chair upside down. “$30 seems fair, yeah? It’s a really cool design, but it is kind of shitty. Your words, not mine. Of course I won’t be paying $30, since everything’s half off.”

“Can you even sit in that thing without breaking it?” Addie asked.

Cedar finished writing the price on the bottom and set it back on the ground. He was a little hesitant to sit on it as he really didn’t want to break it. He slowly and carefully sat down on it. To his relief, the chair didn’t immediately collapse. In fact, it was unusually comfortable and sturdy for a wooden chair, at least to him. He shifted his butt in it just to make sure it was durable, even bouncing up and down a bit to test his luck.

“Ha, totally fine. Sturdier than I expected, actually. I’m buying it. Putting it in the attic too, I need a new desk chair.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it ‘new’ but fine with me. Let’s just get out of here before somebody comes back here.”

Cedar grabbed the chair and poked his head out the door. “Okay, I think everybody’s too distracted with shopping, and I don’t see any employees, we’re good to go.”

The two casually walked out of the employees only section, not wanting to cause suspicion in case anybody saw. They were a little nervous when Cedar went to pay for the chair, but his theory about the employee being too busy to notice proved correct, and Cedar and Addie were able to walk out of there with a $15 chair. The bus ride home was a little awkward with Cedar having to hold a chair in his lap, but aside from that the two made it back to Cedar’s house without issue.

Upon returning home, Cedar carefully placed the chair down in the living room. Addie still wasn’t a fan of the new chair, but it wasn’t really her problem. Cedar could decorate the attic however he wanted, it’s not like she was going to see what’s up there anyway. It was a bit of a long day for Addie though, her legs were starting to get a little sore from walking over to Cedar’s house and walking around the store. She grabbed her backpack that she left in the living room before the two left the house and pulled out her water bottle.

“Hey I’m probably gonna order some garlic knots if you want to stay for a bit,” said Cedar.

Addie took a swig from her bottle and set it down. “Oh no, that’s okay. I had a lot of fun today but I think I should probably get going soon. Call me anytime you wanna hang out.”

“Sounds good. I’m gonna head to the bathroom real quick before you go though,” Cedar replied as he made his way towards the back of the house.

Addie was just about to walk out the door when she realized she forgot her water bottle in the living room. She caught a glimpse of the chair as she went to pick it up. She still thought it was a little tacky and water damaged, but maybe next time she came over she could repaint it. She was still worried about the structure of it, though when Cedar sat on it, it seemed fine. Plus Cedar did mention it was sturdier than he expected. Even though Addie had a more muscular build than him, she figured she couldn’t be too heavy for the chair if it could handle Cedar moving around.

“I’m overthinking this, aren’t I?” Addie thought out loud to herself as she set her backpack down on the floor and sat down in the chair. “Yeah, this is about what I exp-”

The chair suddenly gave way in the middle of her sentence, causing Addie hit the ground with a loud thud.

“SHIT!” Addie exclaimed as she got up and looked at the chair pieces on the floor. The back of the chair with the pattern seemed fine, just the legs were broken, although the design looked a little different than what she remembered. She bent over and picked up the back of the chair, as she squinted to look at the pattern closer, the carvings started growing a bright green.

“What the hell?!” she yelled as she threw the back of the chair on the ground. The light grew in intensity and eventually engulfed the entire room. Addie wanted to run out of the house, worried about what she possibly just accidentally unleashed, but she found her legs were frozen.

“Cedar, can you hear me?!” Addie screamed out. There was no reply. Whatever magic was going on must be preventing him from hearing her, she thought. The light continued to shine brighter, as Addie kept trying to move her legs. As she fought to get her feet off of the ground, however, her arms involuntarily started moving towards the ground as well.

“What the fuck, I’m not moving my arms!” she fruitlessly yelled out as she got on all fours, her butt arched in the air. It was an embarrassing position to be in for sure, but that was clearly the last of Addie’s problems. The light suddenly started dimming a little as the green color changed to red. A string of swear words ran threw Addie’s mind, as Addie figured yelling was pointless and stopped trying. Addie felt a tingle in her chest as her lower stinkbug arms started disappearing.

Addie was internally freaking out, worried about what was going to happen next. With her extra pair of arms were quickly gone, her entire body began to feel stiff and rigid. She already couldn’t move, but it still felt as if it just got even more impossible to simply curl a finger. As she looked down at her hands, she saw them turning red, much like the light shining around her. As the redness spread up her arms and presumably up her legs, she began to realize what was happening.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me, I’m turning into a fucking chair?!” Addie angrily yelled out loud. Her limbs started shrinking as they continued to redden, confirming her fear. Her ass, still pointed into the air, started morphing too, flattening out into a square shape, forming the back of the chair. She could faintly feel the pattern forming, as if someone was pretending to draw the pattern on her skin with a feather. A weird sensation went through her entire body as her head began moving towards her shrinking lower back. It was uncomfortable, but during the process her body was strangely numb at the same time. As the transformation was coming to a close, Addie’s head would happen to become the middle of the seat. Her facial features began disappearing into the wood. Addie couldn’t tell if she was no longer able to see anything except red, or if the light was simply preventing her from seeing anything else. Either way, the transformation was now complete, as Addie was left a chair identical to the one she broke, in the exact same position too.

The light abruptly faded away, returning the living room to normal. After the light went away, Addie found herself staring at the ceiling, which meant that she could see at least, even if she could only look upwards.

“Well. Great. I’m a fucking chair now,” Addie thought to herself, thankful that she still had a conscious at all.

“Yo Addie, you still here?” Addie heard Cedar call out from the back of the house. Apparently she could hear too, even though she had no ears. Maybe she could talk too, she thought. She tried to call out to him, but nothing happened.

“Okay, so I can see and hear, but can’t move or talk,” thought Addie, still trying to process the situation.

Cedar walked into the living room and saw Addie’s backpack on the floor next to the chair.

“Addie?” Cedar called out again, unaware of the events that had just transpired. “She must have left her backpack here on accident. I need to get this back to her as soon as possible,” he said out loud.

Cedar’s thought process was interrupted with a loud stomach growl.

“Oh, fuck, I need to order those garlic knots. I’m starving. If Addie really forgot her backpack, surely she’d notice and come back for it. She can wait,” he continued talking while he pulled out his phone from his jeans pocket.

“Gee thanks, Cedar,” Addie thought to herself as she listened to Cedar dialing the pizza place.

Cedar finished placing his order and headed up to the attic. He hauled his old chair down the ladder that he had installed shortly after moving in. Cedar had his old chair for years, as evident by the duct tape shoddily holding it together and food stains covering the seat. Its wheels had been replaced with tennis balls to help muffle sound from the scratched up legs. The chair from the thrift store looked brand new in comparison. He opened the front door and carried it out to the curb.

He went back inside and picked up the new chair, completely oblivious to the fact that it was actually his friend. Addie could feel him carrying her up the attic ladder but obviously couldn’t say anything. Cedar was carrying her from the back, meaning the seat was facing the attic, allowing Addie to catch a glimpse of Cedar’s attic.

Addie was immediately hit with the smell of old wood, a smell she didn’t find particularly pleasant, but she at least knew she was able to smell things now. The first thing she saw was a small mattress on the floor. It looked too tiny for Cedar to sleep in, but given the limited space available in the attic, it made sense for him to have. His computer, two monitors, speakers, and a mess of trash and old electronics sat on two desks pushed together. The desks took up the majority of the room, the remaining floor space was a clutter of clothes and more trash.

“Does nobody in this house know how to clean?” Addie thought.

Cedar placed Addie in front of his desk. Addie could feel Cedar about to sit on her, which she was definitely not looking forward to, but fortunately for her she was momentarily saved by the doorbell ringing.

Cedar quickly left the attic to answer the door. Addie desperately tried to move or make noise, concentrating as hard as she could, but nothing happened. She was trying to come up with potential ways for her to transform back when she heard Cedar climbing back up the stairs. The smell of garlic entered the room, which combined with the earlier wood odor made the room smell even worse. Cedar tossed a bag of garlic knots onto his desk, placed a large drink on a coaster and turned on his computer, which made Addie worry.

“Oh no, how long is he gonna sit on me for? Please just be checking your email or something…”

Addie heard another sound which made her even more uneasy, the sound of Cedar unzipping his jeans.

“Fuck. Please have underwear on…”

Thankfully for Addie, he was wearing blue striped boxers underneath. Cedar tossed his jeans into the clothes pile and hopped on the chair. Addie mentally groaned, as she knew she was going to be staring at Cedar’s butt for a while. There wouldn’t be a reason for Cedar to take his pants off if he wasn’t, she reasoned. It was close to the last place she wanted to be, but at least Cedar wasn’t heavy enough to cause her to collapse. She wasn’t sure what would happen then, but she assumed the worst.

Cedar, meanwhile, began shoving the garlic knots into his face. He ate them concerningly fast, like he hadn’t eaten anything in weeks. The entire bag was gone in a little under ten minutes, Cedar didn’t even stop to take a drink in between each bite. Once he had finished, he crumpled up the bag and carelessly threw it behind him. He took a long sip of his soda.

*BUUUUUUAAARP* Cedar belched loudly, his breath still stinking of garlic.

“Charming…” Addie sarcastically thought to herself. “Rayas has really rubbed off on him.”

Addie could hear Cedar furiously typing. He was either hard at work or aggressively playing video games, and considering it was Sunday, she doubted Cedar was working. Although as a freelance programmer, Cedar set his own hours. Maybe it wasn’t fair to assu-

“Oh bullshit! The damage calculator said that would kill with entry hazard damage! And of course this dude is being salty in the chat, ‘oh another lowlife running stall, don’t you have anything better to do,’ go suck a dick!” Cedar loudly said to himself.

“And of course he’s playing Pokemon Showdown right now. Whatever,” Addie thought. She could never understand competitive Pokemon.

Cedar’s stomach gurgled, garlic nearly always upset his stomach, but he loved the taste of it. It’s probably a good thing Addie left early, he thought to himself. And with Hayden and Rayas away for the weekend, he didn’t have to be concerned about anybody else in the house potentially hearing anything. Cedar let out a groan and lifted his leg slightly.

*frrrbt* Cedar’s nose twitched a little bit as he began fanning the air around him.

Addie was absolutely disgusted. She was already grossed out by farting normally, but being trapped under the stench with no possible way out was torturous for Addie. At this point, she was definitely starting to wish she couldn’t smell as a chair. The nasty smell of garlic mixed with garbage permeated Addie’s sense of smell. Addie internally shuddered as she heard another rumble from Cedar’s stomach.

“Maybe ordering these was a mistake…” Cedar said as he rubbed his stomach and let out another nasty smelling *prrrrbbt*. He took another swig of his soda and belched loudly again.

“Ugh, that did nouUUURPt help.”

The stench of Cedar’s gases filled the entire room, but Addie got the worst of it. Addie might not have been able to smell Cedar’s burps, but being so close to his rank smelling farts was considerably worse. She once again tried to move or speak, despite deep down knowing the futility of it. For the foreseeable future, she was stuck looking at Cedar’s boxers and sniffing his farts.

Cedar groaned again as he let out a wetter and louder *BLLLRRRT*. “Ew, thankfully nobody’s here to smell this,” Cedar muttered to himself as he covered his own nose with his hand.

“If only that were true,” Addie internally griped. She was somewhat getting used to the smell at this point, it still reeked but at this point Addie was too preoccupied wondering if she was going to be stuck as Cedar’s chair for the rest of her life.

“Guess this is one way to break this new chair in,” Cedar joked to himself as he farted again. *prhhbbbt!* Cedar wondered how his roommates would react if he was this gassy around him. Rayas definitely wouldn’t mind, if anything she’d laugh and challenge him to a farting contest. Hayden wouldn’t be very appreciative but he probably wouldn’t say anything about it.

He took another drink from his soda and let out a loud and longer burp. *BRUUUUURP!*

“Ugh this is so gross,” Cedar mumbled.

“Yeah, you’re telling me,” Addie thought. “At least I don’t have to smell his belches.”

While Cedar was grossed out, it did give him momentary relief from the pain in his stomach. Plus it felt a little good to indulge in his grosser side, it wasn’t something he did very often. Another rumble noise alerted Addie that she was about to get farted on again.

Cedar lifted up his leg again, he could feel that this one would be particularly nasty. He closed his eyes as a bubbly sounding fart escaped from his rear. *BLBBBLRRLLT!* It was about five seconds long, a testament to how upset Cedar’s stomach was. And unfortunately for Addie, this was by far the strongest smelling of the bunch so far, its stench rivaling a cow’s backside. It didn’t help that it was the middle of summer either, as the warm air hit Addie. She was beyond repulsed at this point, but there wasn’t anything she could do.

His stomach felt considerably better after letting all that gas out, so he simply ignored his own “outbursts” from that point and went back to playing Pokemon. Addie, however, didn’t have the luxury to try and ignore them. Addie had to deal with a barrage of foul gusts of air hitting her senses and having to listen to the gross sounding fart noises that accompanied them.

*frrrpppppbbllt* “Phew, think that was the last one,” Cedar said to himself. *toot!* He blushed. “Okay, THAT was the last one.”

Addie hoped that was true, she had been farted on a dozen times in the past hour. She was just waiting for this ordeal to be over. She assumed she’d still be stuck as a chair for... well, she didn’t really want to think about that, but at least she wouldn’t have to keep sniffing Cedar’s gas.

“I’m bored.” Addie heard Cedar say out loud.

“Yeah, me too buddy,” she thought.

Cedar began rocking in his chair out of pure boredom. Addie felt herself move with each time Cedar titled back further. Addie was worried that he would tilt too far back and fall and break the chair, which could potentially mean death in her case. But then again, maybe it also meant that she’d turn back. Although if Cedar broke the chair, would he then become a chair? Addie was still busy thinking about the possibilities when Cedar fell and knocked the chair out from underneath him.

As the chair fell to the floor, the pattern on the back began glowing a familiar green color.

“The hell?” Cedar said as he stared at the light. “What the fuck is going on?”

Unlike Addie, Cedar could still move, although he foolishly didn’t want to. He was highly intrigued by the light, curious as to what affects it might have. He didn’t feel any differently, still a little bloated but other than that he felt perfectly fine. He tried to look at the chair in the light, but it was hard to make out anything. From what he could tell though, it looked… bigger? Considerably bigger, actually. Even taller than him. Cedar nervously watched as the light faded away.

With the light gone, Cedar could clearly make out Addie laying on the floor.

“Wait, what the fuck? Addie?!” Cedar exclaimed in an extremely confused voice.

“Cedar? Can you hear me now? Wait, did I just talk?” Addie said as she opened her eyes and looked down. She slowly moved her legs and got up from the floor. “I’m not a fucking chair anymore!” she excitedly yelled.

“I’m sorry... what?” Cedar responded, now even more confused.

Addie dusted herself off and looked at Cedar. “I just spent the past three hours stuck as your chair. I sat on it while you were in the bathroom and it broke, then it started glowing and I couldn’t move while I slowly began morphing into a chair. It was fucking awful.”

“Wait so... you’ve been in my attic this whole time?” said a flustered Cedar. “You didn’t happen to hear anything, did you?”

Addie rolled her eyes. “I heard and smelled everything. Is that why you don’t want people to come up here? Because it’s so gross? I mean, look at all this trash…”

Cedar awkwardly picked up a pile of food wrappers and empty soda cans. “It uh, usually isn’t like this.” He blushed. “And in my defense, I thought I was alone...”

Addie sighed. “I swear, it figures that we accidentally steal a cursed object from a thrift store. I mean, how cliché is that? I already turned into a frog last January, and now this?”

“Uh, not to interrupt but I didn’t steal the chair to be fair. I still paid for it,” Cedar rebutted.

Addie stared daggers at him and shook her head. “Whatever, I still had fun today up until... that. I’m just going to pretend the past few hours didn’t happen, deal?”

“Definitely a deal. Here, I’ll go get your backpack from downstairs and you can head out.” Cedar made his way towards the ladder.

Addie felt bad. She didn’t want Cedar to think she was mad at him, after all it wasn’t his fault she was turned into a chair.

“Actually... if it’s cool with you, how about I just spend the night? It’s getting dark, and I didn’t really have any other plans for the rest of the night.

Cedar smiled. “Sure, just sleep in Hayden’s bed. It’ll be like a sleepover. I got a bunch of movies we can watch.”

Addie smiled back. “How about you teach me Showdown? It sounded like you were having a fun time with that.”

“Oh yeah, I can totally do that!” He rushed back to his computer and pulled up his team. “You must be pretty hungry though, right? Anything you’d like for me to order?”

“Anything except garlic knots.”