Thread 60: Stories 61-75

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>SA
"Cadence"
'18'
~???~
~~~

He had no idea why he felt nervous. It wasn't anything major, just a little something to get together to test the waters and see where it goes, right?

...You know, he thought he was passed this point after he graduated from high school... and got married. You'd think that would end awkward first dates, but life is just full of surprises!

Then again, one of those surprises was that he would adopt a child instead of having one with Cadence like he planned, so who even knows anymore?

Still, there was at least one consistent in his life... Cadence took forever getting ready. He couldn't see her behind that door, but he knew. He knew that it did not matter that they would not be leaving yet for a couple hours, she was going to make them late.

~~~~~~

"Okay! The exact amount of lip gloss has been applied, down to point black black blue for margins of errors! Now, I just need to curl this one at EXACTLY green degree angles- no no no! That's one half of a millimeter off! I have to start over! From the top! Lip gloss tube number green, come to momma!"

~~~~~

Still, he supposed there was one benefit to bringing a changeling along, it's not like she would...

~~~~~

'OKAY! Exactly four ounces of eye liner measured! If I calculate the dispersal exactly with the blush, I should be able to turn my dead, creepy chitin into bright and shiny chitin! This can work!... OH NO! A single speck of dust! Damn you, world! WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY IT'S ALL RUINED NOW!... FROM THE TOP!... One grain, two grain, three grain, four grain...'

~~~~~

...Now, see, he heard her, but some part of her just wouldn't accept this. Clearly, he needed to ask Cadence if she-

"EEK! Shiny! I'm indecent!"

SLAM!

The door before him held no answers to the mystery that had just unfolded, but he stared at it just the same.

Deciding to at least salvage some of this and look to the changeling, he opened her door.

'EEEK! NO! IT'S NOT PERFECT YET IT HAS TO BE PERFECT!'

SLAM!

...For two who apparently were physically attracted to him in some sense, they sure did not want him to see them 'naked'. Was this normal?

Scratch that, scratch all of that, there is nothing even remotely approaching normal about this situation. This wouldn't be in the realm of normal if it was just him and Cadence. The only thing that could make this less normal is if he added more-

Whoa, brain went to weird places there. Fourteen year old him still lived on.

With hours left to go and the fact he would be ready in a blink of an eye in the back of his mind, he decided now was a good time to go spend some daddy-daughter playtime.

>Hey, Two!

~My teacher says ya' can't sue her for bein' racist iffin' she jumps first.~

>...

You know what? Nevermind.

This date is nowhere near the weirdest part of his life.

Not even close.

~Not-mom's got the megaphone.~

>CHRYSALIS NO!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

{Chrysalis}
~~~

{don't JUMP don't JUMP don't JUMP JUMP JUMP!}

>CRYSALIS!

{I'M SAYING don't JUMP! Not just JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP!}

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >77
"Cheerilee"
~???~
~~~~

The restaurant was nice, they would admit.

Not that they cared about that, considering.

"Finally! Seems like forever since we've spent any real time together."

>Right? Well, hardly surprising, considering.

"Oh I know, and I'm so happy for you! Your sister, alive again, it's great!"

>I'm far luckier than I have any right to be, I admit.

"So... how's she holding up?"

>Adjusting, still has her moments of doubt and despair, but it's to be expected.

"Obviously. Just... ugh, I know a thing or two about being possessed, and I have to tell you, it's not a picnic."

>Well, you should talk to her about it sometime.

"Actually? That sounds great!... Though I might accidentally cause her to go further into despair when she realizes demons from hell exist."

>...Is it actually hell? I thought they were from Tartarus, you said they were from there originally, at the start.

"You know? It's really unclear, it seems to go by it's own rules most days."

>I see, I see...

"...So! Who's watching her right now?"

>Thankfully, my brother has once again found freedom, so he has agreed to look after her.

"Good, good."

>...Something feels off, though, but I can't put my hoof on it.

"It's probably nothing."

>Probably nothing.

~~~~~~

~...Hello? Thirty Two? Are you back yet?... No?... Wow, he is taking a REALLY long time in the bathroom, what the hell did he eat?~

~~~~~

>...Probably nothing.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>29
"MM"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
{Waiter}
~~~

"This place is nice! You know? Good atmosphere, nice location, nice day... glad we decided to go out to eat."

>...

"No, it has nothing to do with keeping you away from your apartment that most certainly did NOT catch on fire again, why would you think that?"

>...

"...A-hem, waiter!"

{And what will you all be ordering today?}

'The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie would like the Haygrass Lo' Mane!'

{Ah, excellent, choice, and for yourself?}

'...The Haygrass Lo' Mane.'

{Good choice as well! Now, which one of you is Trixie?}

'Trixie is!'

{I know, that's what I'm asking.}

'TRIXIE JUST TOLD YOU!'

{...Let's move on, what would you like?}

[The corn seared warm upon the grill, with a hint of salt from the earth you did till.]

{I... just bring the food. I don't farm it}

[It is merely an expression my befuddled waiter, preparing it personally will not make it greater.]

{...You there! Uh... I don't think we serve, you know, love as an entree, so-}

>Be silent thine fool! Today for mine tastebuds so delighted, mine heart craved a pepper of the earth wrapped in the bosom of a roll of wheat plucked from yonder earth and delicately prepared to the flat of it's folds. From there, place around those peppers the buds of the earth, seared with heat but not burned! And from there, malady it in a sauce forged by the beating of the tomatoes kin.

{...}

>...And some lettuce, because I like lettuce.

{...}

"He wants the tortilla roll with the peppers."

>AND LETTUCE!

{OH! Oh, okay... and uh... y-you?}

"Just give me a hayburger."

{...}

"...Sorry, no sexy talk from me."

{...I'll get right on that.}

*Walks off*

>...He seemed odd, no?

'Really strange.'

[Befuddling, I should say. Especially now, today.]

"..."

>What?

"Nothing."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Actarius
"JJ"
'Changelings'
~~~~~

>...Does today feel weird to you?

"Actually, now that you mention it, yeah. It kind of does."

>Like we're supposed to hang out today.

"Yeah, like, we're really supposed to hang out today."

>... Just to double check, Nightmare Night was-

"About three weeks ago, yeah."

>...Huh.

"That does seem odd, right?"

>Time feels funny.

"Really weird..."

>...Hey, JJ?

"Yeah?"

>I'm glad we met.

"Awww... me too."

>...Hey, you know what we should do?

"What's that?"

>We should totally go back to that restaurant we got sent to with the blind date thing!

"Holy holes that's a great idea!"

>Yeah! We can totally remember meeting aga-

'JUST DO IT ALREADY!'

>...We are! Why, did you guys want to come?

'Don't involve us in this!'

'This is weird enough as it is!'

"I thought it was a pretty fun idea."

'OH FOR THE LOVE OF LOVE WILL YOU GUYS JUST GO SOMEWHERE AND DO IT!'

>Hey, you know what? Screw you guys! We're going to go have a fun time, just the two of us!

"Yeah, we're gonna go do something fun together, the way only two close guys can!"

>Yeah! And you're not stopping us!

"We'll do what we want where we want and however we want!"

>In whatever way we want!

"Maybe he chooses today, but I choose tomorrow, who even knows!"

>Not you, cause this is about US!

"Doing us things!"

>So go fuck yourselves all alone, because we don't need to!

"YEAH!"

>PLPLPLPL!

Heads held high, they both leave.

'...They're doing it to fuck with us, right?'

'I don't even know, man. I don't even know.'

'...That alone comment stung.'

'J-just a bit... just a bit...'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Blueblood"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content actually does matter, but our new sleeping schedule makes it weird for the show to air properly. Now for our main guest...BLUEBLOOD!!!

"...strange I don't remember-"

>Our question for the day is how does it feel to see Arana again after so long and is PJ going to be jealous?

"It feels heartwarming to see Arana again. I'm getting a little worried about PJ since she hasn't-"

>SHE'S NOT DEAD!

"...what?"

>Um...I'm just saying she didn't die from Cordyceps aaaand you know what? Let's end the show there

"I didn't say anything about-"

>Just wake up. The fumes from the cleaning chemicals aren't good for you.
Blueblood wakes up with Arana dragging him.

"Arana? What are you-"

'Fumes aren't good for you! Please don't sleep in the Janitor's closet!'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Cadence"
'18'
[2]
{42}
(Sombra)
~???~
-???-
~~~~~

At some point, Cadence was beginning to wonder if she should just bring Two along with them.

Because as tightly as Shiny was holding her, it would probably take far less effort, ponypower and magic.

'...S-should we get the crowbar?'

"Why would you want to waste a perfectly good crowbar bending the impossible?"

'...Point.'

>You know exactly where to go if trouble happens, right?

[Yes Shiny.]

>You know to stay behind Forty Two and the guards if something goes wrong, right? And to follow Sombra off to where ever it is he says to hide, right?

[Yes Shiny!]

>And not to go into the kitchen alone, and not to turn on the stove, and not to make the bath too hot, and not to-

{SHINING ARMOR!}

Were it not for her frankly amazing strength, the two mares at the door very much doubted that Forty Two could have ever pried his hoof free.

{I will be watching over her as I have done a thousand times, and am fully prepared for any eventuality myself in addition to being surrounded on all sides by soldiers I have trained to the brink of efficiency. An actual invading force, literally and not hypothetically, could invade and I could handle it well before you noticed the smoke from their desecrated corpses. This is within my capabilities! Now go off, go on your d-d... a-hem, go off on your event and enjoy yourself, safe in the knowledge that if something comes at anyone in this castle I will crush it, personally. And if that does not work, I will make your army shoot it dead with missiles. So, GO!}

She was stern, unmoving, and unblinking.

But even she waved a bit when his lower lip wiggled a bit.

>...Y-yeah, yeah you're right, I'm being... I'm being overworried at nothing.

Even with those words, his body language said an entirely different story. He gave her one last, gentle hug, and then let her go.

>B-be careful, okay?

[...Shiny, Ah'm just stayin' in the house! I do this everyday and don't even notice it!]

>Yeah... yeah, of course you do, you're smart, I don't need to worry about anything. I'm just being silly. Be safe, alright? We'll be home after you go to sleep.

[Awww!]

>No aws, bedtime is bedtime.



>Yes you do.

[AWWWW!]

>No aws I said!... We'll be back, Two.

[Okay... have fun everybody!]

"We will, honey."

'We'll tell you all about it in the morning!'

[YOU BETTER!]

They shared a light laugh, tenseness still just a bit heavy in the air.

>So... you'll help watch out, right?

The smoke monster, once a former king, rolled his ethereal eyes.

(It will be fine. Go have fun with your harem.)

>IT'S NOT A HAREM!

(I count more than one, it counts.)

>It does not! That is a wildly different thing!

(Yes, it is called a 'small harem', but I'm sure with time you will-)

>NGH!

Everyone felt a little bit of embarrassment when his hoof swung right through.

(...Really?)

>Shut you up.

(Really.)

>Just... just look out for her, okay?

(...Always, Shining Armor. Always.)

>Right... thank. Whelp! With that...

He turned to his two... it still felt weird to call them this, but his 'dateS' plural. Both of them looked absolutely stunning, of course, hours of work tended to pay off in at least some fashion... even if in one case it was pointless because she would still be the most beautiful mare in the world if she were covered in tye dye and dirt and in the other case she could have literally looked like this in half a second with her built in magic, but it was the thought that counted.

And the thinking was, 'these mares be crazy'.

But his was not a position to judge, his was only to move his way between them in what he hoped was not some kind of relationship faux pas and do his very best to crush the massive worries that cropped up with every second he spent doing this.

>Well... shall we be off?

They both smiled at him, Eighteen's looking positively giddy to put it mildly.

'YES YES YES!... I mean, yes! Let's go!'

She couldn't hold hooves with him, obviously. Romantic as it was, they were quadrupeds, and relied upon their forelegs to walk. It just was not meant to be. As such, she had to settle with pressing herself tightly up against the side of him.

"Yes... let's go!"

Her enthusiasm was just a touch more forced, barely detectible, but Shining Armor was quick to brush it off. After all, this was a nervous thing for all of them, not something to just jump into, obviously. A bit of worry was expected.

Still, quite a bit of that worry was dispersed when she too pressed against his side. With that final connection made, they ushered themselves out, towards an uncertain evening. What was going to follow, they could not say. Regardless... it was going to be interesting.

The castle doors shut, and they were gone.

[...I'MMA GET MAH MARCHMALLEYS!]

{Not the whole ba-, and she's gone.}

True to form, she was. Off in a blur of black and speed.

Alone, wisp and changeling shared a look.

(...They're doomed.)

{Negative.}

(I speak only the truth, no idea why he would agree to go out with her.)

{Because Eighteen is a wise, dedicated being who I truly do believe loves him.}

(Perhaps you should be dating her.)

{No. She deserves to be happy. They ALL do, and if this makes them happy they should do it.}

(I stand corrected. Clearly, you should have joined them.)

Even though he no longer had hooves with which to punch, he still remembered the look of one who had been struck in the chest. That was eerily similar to this one, right now.

{... I have no place in that.}

A thoughtful, wispy eyebrow rose up.

(If you say so...)

Those same curious eyes trailed around, looking everywhere for a brief moment without any real reason.

(...It occurs to me. Where, oh where, is your Queen?)

{I do not know, her location when she does not want to be seen is none of my business.}

A couple ghostly fangs glinted in the darkness.

(Do you suppose she is jealous?)

{...This may sound strange, but I do not get that feeling from her.}

The pair suddenly shared an uncomfortable, uncertain look.

(...She wouldn't plan something, right?)

{Surely not.}

(Even she has limits.)

{Of course.}

(...Two is taking an awfully long time.)

{Indeed, I shall go check on her, wait here.}

Why he was being asked to wait, the wisp had no idea. But still, he did not fight it as she left, sure that she had her reasons.

(...Wait, am I interference? Am I watching the door?... I think she's making me watch the door. Oh, this is just insulting, and-... hello.)

The figure casually trotting down the halls suddenly froze, their hoof on the door knob.

(...)

~AHHHAHAHHAH! ATTHHEEERRRRIO!... HI!~

(Hello, Mane-Iac. Might I ask what you are doing?)

~Nope! I'm going out!~

(Why say nope and then you just... wait, you go out? As in, out of the castle?)

~INDDEEE...Shoot! No! Bad!... Yes!~

(Buy yourself?)

~AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!... Of course not!~

(...)

~...BYE!~

Taking his silence for confirmation that the conversation was over, she flung the door open and vanished in a blur of hair-tentacles pulling her along.

(...I suddenly got a cold chill down my spine, and I do not know why. Mostly because my spine is gone. Should... should I tell someone?)

There was a crash in the kitchen, ending the train of thought he had been on. Resolving that any more thinking further on the matter was pointless, he took off towards the cry of pain.

Surely, it was nothing, right? And it certainly had nothing to do with the date. Of course not.

Everything was fine.

Everything was fine...

~~~~~~

>...Huh.

"You know, I saw something like this happening, but I kind of thought it would happen later in the date."

>Right? I'm not surprised it happened, just that it happened before we got here.

"If nothing else it's a little impressive. Getting ahead of the game."

>That it is.

"...So should we help put out the fire?"

-MY RESTAURANT! WHY!?-

-HOW!? HOW IS CRYSTAL BURNING THIS MAKES NO SENSE!-

-This actually is raising a lot of unfortunate questions about your establishment.-

-NOT NOW!-

>...Actually? The fire department has this pretty well handled, looks like.

"Oh yeah, really nice. Peak of efficiency. Good job, Eighteen... Eighteen?"

'WHY DO YOU HATE ME, UNIVERSE!?'

"Oh dear."

>Look, Eighteen? It's not a big deal- well I mean in the grand scheme of things, but I mean to us-

'HAH! Screw you, universe! I booked THREE DIFFERENT reservations just in case! HAHAAHH!... Yes, two of them were here, but I STILL HAVE A BACKUP DINNER PLAN! HAH!'

>...Be prepared and all that, I guess?

"Nice to look ahead."

'AHAHAH!'

>Should we be worried?

"It probably was just an unfortunate coincidence. But on the off chance it's not..."

'HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!'

"...The only one who should be worried is whoever set fire to it."

'YOUR MOVE, UNIVERSE!'

Lightning, actual lightning, went off behind her.

>...
"..."

'Thundercloud must've gotten mixed up in the departments rainclouds.'

>Right.

"That makes sense."

'...So! To the next place?'

>Lead the way.

'EEEEE! STILL HAPPENING!'

>Yep, still happening.

"...All of the bad luck is out of the way now, right?"

>Sure. Probably. I mean, what're the odds.

"..."

>...Let's go!

"Y-yaaayyy..."

'YAAAY!'

With that they set off once more, to continue their 'date' with gusto, telling themselves that nothing else bad would happen this night.

...Not a one of them believed it, but they all said it.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Applejack
"Celestia"
~~

>Hey, Tia? Got a question.

"GAH! NO! BRING BACK MY BUBBLEHORSE HE ASKS NICE QUESTIONS!"

>Shiny can't help ya' now.

"EVIL!"

>Anyway, Ah' was just gonna ask... what're crystal ponies made of?

"...Now, see, mostly I just want to jump off balconies when you bring something up, but now I am just confused."

>Ah'm serious. Ah' Ain't never got a good look at 'em, really. Are they actually crystal?

"...Weren't you a crystal pony at one point?"

>Ah' didn't think ta' check.

"Really. You were actually transformed in body, and you didn't think to... I don't know, poke yourself?"

>Come ta' think of it, does that work with anyone? Can Ah' make a crystal changeling?

"I don't know! Why are you asking me!?"

>Yer' supposed ta' be smart.

"I'm not! I'm really not! Ask one of them!"

>Seems rude.

"Then ask Cadence!"

>Can't, she's on her date.

"...oooooh, right."

>...

"What, what is that look for?"

>No reason.

"Oh... kay?... Ohhh! I see."

>...Now hold up, what's that look for?

"I get you."

>No ya' don't.

"You're wondering if this is all going to work out or not."

>Don't ya' dare.

"Why, I'd think you had some kind of stake in this. Like you yourself were wondering if a three way relationship could work."

>Ain't seein' a reason why.

"...Spike's giving her flowers."

>WHAT!?

"Ha!"

>...Jerk.

"Gone back to wearing your bracelet, I see."

>Well, yeah, now that Ah' ain't gotta worry it's gonna get tore up. Or set on fire when Ah' come in from the dang upper stratowhatsit. Ah' missed wearin' it...

"Uh huuuuh."

>Shut yer' cake hole.

"...Oh! Shoot, right, you had a question right?"

>Yep. Why ain't ya' started passin' legislation ta' reform our dang education so they stop ignorin' zebra's ya' racist-

"NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!"

With that, she jumped over the ledge.

She did not fly.

>...Freakin' right you better jump... where's Spike? Ah' think Ah' wanna go... thank him fer' mah' gift... yeah, that sounds bout right.

"OW!"

>YA' DESERVE IT!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
"Rarity"
'Spike'
~~~~

>Ah' hope ya' realize this means war.

"Oh darling, how amusing... a war implies you ever had a chance."

>Ya' ain't gonna win this easily, ya' know.

"Oh indeed... it will be even easier."

>Ah've got the hips.

"But I've got the grace."

>Ah've got the stamina.

"But I've got the precision. My moves will absolutely leave anyone I choose breathless."

>Ya'll ain't got nothin' on the power Ah'm packin' back here.

"Ah yes, so much, how do the foals say it? 'Junk in the trunk'?... You thinking that impressive only makes me more amused."

>Enough talk! Ah'm gonna show him what Ah' can do, and ya'll ain't gonna be nothin' but a pretty mare in mah way!

"And you are going to be nothing but an absolutely riveting stepping stone on my walk to success."

>LET'S DO THIIIIIIIS!

"BRING IT ONNNNNN!"

'You know, we could just do this all three of us, it doesn't have to be just me and one or the other-'

"WE ARE DOING THIS!"

>AIN'T NO TURNIN' BACK NOW!

"WE'RE FIRED UP, SPIKE!"

>CHOOSE!

*LET ME SEE THAT THOOOOONNNNGGGG!*

>...

"..."

'...What?'

>Really? You picked the thong song?

'I think it was automated.'

>Really?

'I mean probably...'

"I can't DDR to this!"

'...You could try...'

>...

"...Are you jiggling?"

>It's catchy.

"I suppose it is...hmm hmm hm..."

>...that thong th thong thong thong...

"... Screw it! ~I like it when the beat goes da na da na~"

>~Baby make your booty go da na da na!~

>"THAT THONG TH THONG THONG THONG!"

'...this has been a good day...'

>AH'M WINNIN!

"NO YOU ARE NOT!"

'...A very good day...'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >8-bit
"Gaffer"
'???'
[???]
~~

>Okay... okay, we can do this.

"We can DO this!"

>We're not going to freak out.

"We're not going to assume."

>Poindexter has told us time and time and time again that he is not, he is NOT, seeing those other mares. He does not have a harem.

"He does NOT have a harem."

>And he is not making fun of us.

"He isn't."

>We are going to walk up to him, we are going to say sorry for assuming and being jerks, and we are going to FIX THIS.

"FIXING THIS."

>Because we are friends!

"WE ARE FRIENDS!"

>He is not a dick!

"NOT A DICK!"

>And we are...

"...is that him with two mares all over him?"

'No no, I'm telling you, it's a great spot! Perfect place for the date, really!'

[If you say so.]

>...

"..."

>"MOTHER FUCKER!"

>Going home?

"Going home."

>"FUCK THIS GUY!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>56
“Cooking Staff”
____

“WHAT IN CELESTIA’S NAME IS THIS ABOMINATION?!”

>It’s cake! …I think.

“I CAN’T! I JUST CAN’T!”

>Can’t what? Can’t help finish it? Why?

“BY THE BEARD OF STARSWIRL IT’S TRYING TO DRAG NUTMEG INTO THE BATTER!”

“NOOOOO I'M TOO YOUNG AND TOO PRETTY TO DIE! SOMEONE SAVE MEEEEEE!”

>It’s trying to be nice! …I think.

“SOMEONE GET THE CLEAVER! GO GO GO! WE’VE GOT A CODE CADENCE! I REPEAT WE HAVE A CODE CADENCE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!”

>What’s that mean? And does all the food made here suddenly spring to life like that? If so, cool!

“IS THIS HOW I DIE? TELL ME THIS ISN’T HOW I DIE!”

“I’VE GOT ICING IN PLACES NOT EVEN MY PARENTS HAVE SEEN!”

>Hey. Hey, guys…? When y’all get the cake under control can ya just, like, scribble ‘Happy V-Day Moons’ on it?

“BLOCK THE DOORS! WE CAN’T LET THIS MONSTER ESCAPE EVEN IF WE ALL PERISH! STAND TALL MEN, IT’S TIME TO EARN THOSE CHEF HATS!”

>No rush tho’, I can see you’re busy. I’ll wait.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Pinkie
"Fluttershy"
'Dash'
[Twilight]
~~~~

>You know what? This is nice. We need to do this more often.

The blue pegasus in front of her looked up, ketchup and hay dripping from her mouth.

'...Eat?'

>Yeah silly!

Beside her, a certain yellow horned pegasus nibbled on her own food in far more meek bites.

"Oh, I guess it is important to stay fed."

>Not that silly! Twilight, help me out here!

She paused her own ravenous eating, stopping for a second only to shrug before continuing.

"...Please don't choke."

>Ugh! I mean eat together! We always eat alone nowadays, it sucks!

'That's because you all only eat cakes anymore. Seriously? Does getting a horn and wing make you just want to eat nothing but sugar?'

[...It might.]

"I don't."

'You don't count. You're... BZZZT!'

>Whatever that means.

'Just saying, I'm a mare who need some substance!'

>DON'T YOU BESMIRCH MY CAKES!

'They're not fulfilling!'

>TAKE IT BACK, DASH!

[...]

>...Twi? You just got a weird look on your face, what's up?

'Yeah, you look like you just walked in on your brother in the shower.'

[What?]

'I said you're smiling.'

[Oh... it's just, well... I'm kind of amazed we're still friends.]

'...Gee thanks.'

>Confidence booster!

[Nooo! I mean, come on... we've been through psychotic siblings, creatures of chaos, and invasions of all kinds and now... look at us! We're overseeing Equestria, all of us! Dash is the leader of the Wonderbolts-]

'All four of them.'

[Pinkie has her own amusement park-]

>Which is still closed down.

[Fluttershy has chaos powers-]

"Which I wish I didn't."

[And Rarity and Applejack and me are all princesses! We're... do you remember when I was just a librarian? It feels like so many things have changed. I keep worrying it's going to change too much one day...]

>...Well DUUUUUUH!

'Seriously.'

"Be nice."

>Twi, we've been through all that, but we made it through most of it by being TOGETHER! You know, friendship is magic? This whole thing? Obviously we're still friends! There's not a magical superpower in the universe that could make us not! Even Discord's super mojo got beat by out friendshippy!

'Not a word.'

>Come on, Twi! We're friends, end of story!

[...Yeah. We are.]

>Good! Now no more thinking bout how we might break up, kay? We're never going to break up, and we don't need any fancy necklaces to prove it! Remember? We went through this already, come on keep up.

'So stop moping, already.'

[You're right, sorry.]

>That's better! Now, group hug, just because we can! I don't care if it's cheesy I'm Pinkie! Cheesy is what I do!

As if they had a choice in the matter.

Still, nobody questioned her forelegs stretching around all of them and bringing them in for a tight hug.

"...So are we just going to ignore that Dash said-"

>YES.

"I'm just saying, I'm worried about you guys making that same joke over and-"

>IGNORING IT.

"O-okay."

[..Wait, what did Dash say-]

>NEVERMIND!

[...I'm glad you're all my friends.]

'Us too, Twi... us too.'

[...No really, what did you-]

'NEVERMIND'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>55
~~~

>Huh.

Today was weird, the changeling known only as Fifty Five, or Applejack Fifty Five, or occasionally 'The Rider', and sometimes, 'The Demon Rider', sometimes 'The Fire Rider', and even sometimes more still 'Firejack' and one time 'Sweetiekins'...

He's known as the changeling who loses his train of thought very easily.

But that did not change the weirdness.

He had begun on a journey this morning, a search really. A search that was going to take him far and wide. Along the way, the fiery changeling saw a lot of things.

In his first stop, ponyville, he saw a lot of strange things.

In his next stop, Canterlot, he saw a lot more strange things.

In his final stop, the Crytstal Empire, he saw many many strange things.

But there was a connection to it all.

...Close.

He didn't have the words to really describe it, but the things he saw felt... close. Not to him, oh no, he was there and gone in a flash, he was in a hurry after all, but what he saw looked close.

Again, he didn't know if this was the right word. He had problems with words, especially big ones. Or ones that were really describey. Or ones that meant things he didn't know about. Or ones that were on paper or a sign. He didn't know if it was the right word.

Maybe a better one would be... happy? Yes, that sounded better, happy.

Everyone was happy.

He got to see so many of his fellow changelings be... happy. Sitting with friends and talking funny at each other, or watching them juggle, or making funny eyes at each other, or laughing with friends about weird boats or something, or making cakes and stuff that looked really weird but everyone was yelling about so they were probably having fun, or spending time just feeling... happy.

They were happy.

And it wasn't just changelings! So many ponies hugging each other and sitting at tables and laughing or dancing with friends on funny machines or talking to each other and making them act silly and... and today just felt happy.

So happy.

Maybe that's why he found himself smiling more. He could taste it, one of the best things ever about being a changeling. Every bit of it, he tasted. Some of it tasted like friends, some of it tasted... different. But it all tasted great.

And in this great big wide world there was so many flavors to pick from he could never choose just one. Flavors that were subtle but sweet, flavors that were loud and bombastic, flavors that tasted like honey mixed with hot peppers, flavors that tasted like mint mixed with grapes, flavors that tasted like they were empty but felt so filling. They were everywhere. And you know what? They were all lucky.

Lucky just to feel happy, just for a bit.

They were the luckiest in the world.

...Next to him.

Because he had gone to ponyville to pick some of the weird orange flowers that only bloomed there, because he liked how they smelled.

And then he had gone to Canterlot to get the special smooth blanket, because he liked how it felt.

And then he had gone to the Empire to get those really pretty stones, because they made the world look funny when he looked through them.

He had gotten them all and put them all together in his own way. He couldn't make words, but he could make the pictures. He had a picture he saw in his mind and he put it together just right, just as steady as he could.

And then he gave it to her.

And she understood.

A pretty flower because he wanted her to smell something good.

A soft fabric because he wanted her to feel something good.

A pretty rock so she could look through it and see something good.

And then there's him, the only one there who could say

>Surprise!

Just so she could hear something good.

And even though she didn't have to, she gave him something good right back.

She put her lips to his, and he got to taste something good.

Love.

That special taste of chocolate... and happy.

Today was a weird day.

...But it was a happy day.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>???
“???”
____

>Hey.

“AAAAGH!”

>Wow. I’m almost tempted to call you a bitch for that display, but others matters take precedent.

“Y-you! You- I- what the hell, Jet? How did you find me? No, better yet, WHY did you find me? Can’t you see I’m trying to do something here? What do you want?”

>For some reason the castle is celebrating Hearts and Hooves day early.

“…Oooookay, and?”

>What did you get your slag-skinned Queen?

“…Seriously? You tracked me down just to ask me that?”

>I tracked you down to ask you that and insult your Queen, actually. Did you get her nothing then? Can I assume that?

“You’re not going to teleport your ass away from here until you get an answer, are you? Fine. I did get her something. There, begone.”

>What did you get her?

“Oh for Hive’s sake- why do you want to know?!”

>Because you are my rival, and I too have gotten my Queen a gift of rather exquisite taste. I just want to make sure that mine bests yours in every way possible from presentation to quality so that my Queen can laud it over yours as she should.

“Is everything a contest with you, Jet?”

>When it comes to you, it’s more making sure you’re still slumming the bottom as you should be. A bug must know its place.

“Because surely that place is better than being a whole city away from their Queen, running and hiding under the guise of protection. Right?”

>Hm. Touché.

“You make it easy sometimes. I barely had to give that a second of thought.”

>Much like I’m positive you barely gave your gift a second of thought. And if that’s the case, I’ve already won. Good day, and good luck on your hunt.

“Whoa, hey, hold on. Just what did you get your Queen, then?”

>A parcel of unmitigated excellence. And you?

“Shall we compare? I want to have the pleasure of watching you scramble to find something else once you see how inferior yours is to mine.”

>Amusing. I accept.

Tension crippled the air as both agents made identical movements, reaching behind their backs. The motion was slow, deliberate, and they were starting to issue challenging grins.

Because one of them would have the better present for their Queen.

Because one of them would best the other.

Because one of them… would earn their Queen’s favor.

But who…?

In unison, two different parcels were brought forth in a grand flourish.

>“Victory is mine!”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Vekir
"Coltsly Clerk"

"Now how'n the heck did this droid get out on the sales floor? Was it those darn teenagers again? Pretty small, actually...hey Ms. Coltsly, did we get any custom jobs in?"

>Hallo!

"GAH!"

>Greetings suited pony, Vekir is seeking a guard for her body, yes? Yes.

"Uh...you appear to already have one, ma'am."

>...noooo, Vekir needs this guard for her body, these are facts.

"But...you seriously already have some."

>No I do not! I have none! And I only need one!

"...uhhh...are we talking about the same thing?"

>...Can Vekir talk to a wiser pony?

"Hey, that's mean!"

>Can Vekir have one of your metal creatures for to guard her body or not!?

"...ohhhh a body guard-wow, I totally thought you were talking about a suit of body armor or something."

>...again, Vekir requests wiser assistance!

"No need, here, lemme just give you our prices for the latest Securi-Droid model."

The pony hands the petite Morlock a catalog, the model in question circled in red pen.

>Ooooh, launchers of rockets?

"Yup!"

>Guns that are chained!?

"Yyyyup!"

>How much must Vekir pay!?

"It's listed right there!"

>...

"...ma'am?"

>...

"You're...you're staring at me."

>EJECT

Pwuff!

"MY EYES!"

>SCAM ARTISAN!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________