Barn Mates Rewritten (Draft)

(The episode opens with Peridot talking into her voice recorder.)

Peridot: And then I'll say, "Hey, as one refugee to another, it isn't so bad that we can't go back to Homeworld, am I right? Why don't we watch the sun come up and figure out what we're going to do with all this time, eh Lazuli?" And then she'll say, "Yes Peridot, as impressed I was by you on the ship, I am even more impressed with your new compact look and capacity for friendship! I'm so glad we're going to live together!" Peridot, Facet 5.

(Peridot ends her log.)

Peridot: (turning towards Lapis casually) Let's begin.
Lapis:	This isn't gonna work.
Peridot: Wait, what?
Lapis:	I really thought I would be living alone here.
Steven:	Yeah, but this is even better! Oh here, how about this? I saw this on an episode of a TV show! I didn't see how it ended, but I'm sure it worked out right (Steven takes out a marker from his left pocket and open the cap). We'll divide this place in half, you'll both have your own space (Steven divides the Barn into 2 non-equal parts using the marker). High ceilings, real wood floors, convenient location on the heart of the country; so what do you think, roomies? (Stands up and puts the cap of the marker on.)

(Peridot and Lapis Lazuli stand on their sides respecting their space.)

Peridot: (approvingly) I like the cut of your gem, Steven Quartz!
Lapis:	No. No way!
Peridot: What's the problem? You're the one getting all the good stuff! You've got the propeller and paint cans on your side! You can do tons with those! oooh, (Peridot puts her right finger on her chin thoughtfully) actually, I want the paint cans - you wanna trade something?
Lapis:	(dismissively) I don't care about paint cans. That's not the problem.
Peridot: Bah...
Steven:	What's wrong, Lapis?
Lapis:	It's her.
Peridot: Egh?! (Peridot backs away from Lapis, confused.)
Lapis:	(angrily) She's the problem. I can't stand the thought of looking at her everyday. She's the one who dragged me back to Earth!
Peridot: (defending herself) Hey, it wasn't my idea! I was headed to earth and I needed an informant! It should have been a simple mission. Things didn't exactly work out for either of us.
Lapis:	(furiously) You used me like everyone else did!
Peridot: But it's not like that anymore! It's different now - (gesturing to herself) I'm different.
Steven:	(joining Peridot's side) It's true, Lapis! Peridot has really come into her own since she's been living on Earth.
Peridot	I sabotaged my own mission! I helped save the Earth! I even yelled at Yellow Diamond! She's probably sending a whole fleet to find me and shatter me right now. (concluding her rant of achievements) I'm kind of a big deal; (gesturing dramatically to bring emphasis) a big Anti-Homeworld Deal!

(Lapis walks to Steven, Peridot moving behind her uncertainly.)

Lapis:	(She looks down at him before turning back to Peridot and sighing) Steven, I don't think this is gonna work. But... I trust you. I'll (Cringes for a second before forcing a smile) give it a try.

(Both Steven and Peridot gasp hopefully.)

(Lapis flies walks out of the barn and flies to the top of the Silo.)
Steven:	(Steven looks to Peridot) Looks like you got a room mate! Or should I say: Barn mate?
Peridot: This'll be great! I can teach her about life on Earth! She'll HAVE to see just how great I am.
Steven: Well, have fun! I gotta get back home. I've sorta been out flying all night and I don't want the Crystal Gems to worry. (Starts to walk out of the barn)
Peridot: Bye Steven! (Shouting from within the barn) By the time you come back, I assure you we'll be well acquainted!

--Scene transition: Peridot begins a new log.--

(The two stand on their opposite sides of the barn)

Peridot:(Clears her throat) Well, Lapis Lazuli, or can I call you Lappy?
Lapis: No.
Peridot: Oookaaaay... Well! I'm going to make sure our time shared in this barn is pleasant for the two of us!
Lapis: (Crossing her arms) Like it was on that ship?
Peridot: Oh... That was AGES ago, Lazuli! Approximately 250... (droops and looks aside) earth days... (snaps her gaze back towards Lapis) B-but that was back then! How about we let all that be (nudges Lapis with her elbow) WATER under the bridge? (Nudges again) Eh?
Lapis: (Camera zooms in as her expression grows enraged before snapping back as she closes her eyes and opens them into a blank expression) Yeah, sure. Whatever.

(The two stand awkwardly in silence)

Peridot: EXCELLENT! Well, if you need me, I'll be in my side of the barn! Please don't hesitate to ask for anything that I may provide for a more enjoyable stay.
Lapis: (Stares blankly) You could always leave.
Peridot:(Laughs hysterically) Oh Lapis! You're such a card! (Walks off screen to her side) We'll get along great!
Lapis: (Sighs before walking off herself) Yeah. (Dryly) Haha...

--Scene transition: Peridot begins a new log.--

(Lapis is seen staring at the leaf that Steven gifted her with Peridot pacing in the background. She visibly jolts into a cringe as Peridot starts talking)

Peridot: The first night went great! I think this barn mate thing will work out just fine. We haven't even disagreed on the paint cans yet!

(Lapis rolls her eyes with a sigh before returning her gaze back to the leaf. Peridot then sneaks up on Lapis and pats her hand on her shoulder, causing Lapis to jolt)

Peridot: So! Roomie... what are you gonna do today?
Lapis: (Inhales sharply and turns her head upwards, trying to calm down. ) I don't know.
Peridot: No plans at all?
Lapis: Nope.
Peridot: Well, maybe I can show you my-
Lapis: No.
Peridot: But I didn't even s-
Lapis: No.
[beat]
Lapis: No.

(Peridot stands up and rubs her chin thoughtfully)

Peridot: Ah! I see, you want to spend your time getting used to the new dwelling. I feel that, gurl!
Lapis: (Visibly grips hand into a fist before relaxing it) Sure. Whatever.
Peridot: I'll leave you to it, then! I'll be inside watching Cam-
Lapis: Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
Peridot:(Smile falters a little) O-okay. Well, if you need any-
Lapis: "Don't hesitate to ask", (Sternly) Yeah, whatever!

(Lapis stands up before turning towards Peridot)

Lapis: Look, I'm sorry, but we're not friends. We're not GOING to be friends.
Peridot: But why no-
Lapis: I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for Steven. The less you get on my nerves, the better we can coexist. That's all you can hope for. (Turns back and flies off to the silo)

(Peridot is left standing by herself before wearing a stern expression)

Peridot: (To herself) Oh. We're going to be friends alright... Steven's counting on me and I won't let him down! No matter how stubborn you can get, Lazuli.

--Scene transition: Peridot begins a new log.--

Peridot: Okay, so my attempts at befriending the Lazuli isn't going as planned... But! As the brilliant Peridot that I am, I will easily begin to pick up speed in my endeavors. All I need is a sign or some sort of opportunity.

(A loud thud and large rush of water is heard outside. Peridot jumps in shock before curling up.)

Peridot: Oh, was I really that bad?! She's gonna shatter me ALREADY?!

(Peridot runs out of the barn with her hands up - face tucked away with her eyes closed, cowering)

Peridot: I'm sorry for annoying you so much, Lazuli! Please let me live!
Lapis: (off-screen; Flatly) What are you talking about?

(Peridot opens her eyes as the camera zooms out to a wide view of the Barn. The hole made by the drill is being filled with water.)

Peridot: You're... not going to neutralize me because of your irritation with me?
Lapis: What? No! I'm just filling this hole you left with water.
Peridot: ... why?
Lapis: Because water is comforting. It's... kind of my thing. (Drops the water into the hole, a bit splashing against Peridot). And there aren't any bodies of water nearby so I'm making my own.
Peridot: Oh! I thought the whole thing with Jas-... okay.
Lapis: What?
Peridot: I just thought that since you spent... (rubs back of neck and turns away) No, wait! It's not important.
Lapis: (A bit agitated) What?!..
Peridot: Shouldn't water... scare you?
Lapis: (Close up) You mean because of all that time I spent at the bottom of the ocean fused with a monster of a gem - fighting for power every second I was down there in the dark, deep, cold blue?
Peridot: ... Yeeeeeaaaaah?..
Lapis: (Even closer) So you're telling me how /I/ should feel about my time down there?
Peridot: What?! No! I- It's just... You-... I just... (Face drooping in frustration before giving a heavy sigh.) Just forget it, Lazuli. (She begins to walkk away.) Enjoy your puddle.
Lapis: (Deadpan) That would be why it's here...

(Peridot groans in frustration offscreen)

--Scene transition: Peridot begins a new log.--

Peridot: I JUST DON'T GET IT! Why does Lazuli still hold so much contempt for me?! (She rubs her chin in thought) Maybe... I just have to do something nice for her without her noticing. Yeah! A surprise!

(Peridot walks out of the barn, Lapis seen atop the silo in the background.)

Peridot: (Whispering to herself) But what?.. (Her eyes catch the makeshift pool; the surface is covered with fallen leaves.) Perfect...

--Camera Cut--

Lapis:	(letting out a relaxed sigh as she lies on the top of the Silo, eyes closed peacefully, gripping the leaf against her chest.) Hmm...
Peridot: (from a distance) Hey Lazuli! HEY Lazuli! HEEY!
Lapis:	(widening her eyes in frustration as she sits up, begrudgingly looking back at the source of the shouting.) What NOW?!
Peridot: (Holding a rake over her shoulder) Look at what I just did! (Pointing to the pool, now free of the leaves)
Lapis: (Sighing) You're going to bother me for... what did you even do?
Peridot: (After Climing up the silo) Well, (Grunting as she pulls herself up) I cleared the pool from those leaves that were on the surface. I figured you'd like a pool to be all cleaned up.
Lapis: (Deadpan; Sarcastic) Wow, thanks.
Peridot: You're welcome! (Noticing the leaf in Lapis' hand) Oh! One of them got up here! Thanks for getting it, Lazuli! (Snatching the leaf from Lapis' hand)
Lapis: Wait, no!
Peridot: (Sliding down the silo) I'll take care of this for you!

(Lapis clenches her fists and groans in utter rage before hopping down the silo)

(By the time Lapis catches up to Peridot, Peridot is beside a pile of wet leaves. The leaf she took from her is nowhere to be seen.)

Lapis: What- What did you do with it?
Peridot: What? That dumb old leaf?
Lapis:(Closes eyes, expression growing in intense anger)
Peridot: I put it in the pile with all the rest! Don't you worry about a th-

(The water from the pool shoots up, forming a tower)

Peridot: No need to w-worry Lazuli... I-I got all the leaves out of the P-pool! I-

(Peridot is smashed against the barn with Lapis' water. She groans as she slowly tries to pick herself back up)

(Steven warps in to see Lapis closing in on Peridot with a fist formed out of the water)

Steven: (Calling out) Lapis! No!
Lapis: (Turning back towards Steven) Steven?!
Steven: Please stop! Don't hurt her!

(Lapis' face softens into a sad expression before sharpening back up into an irritated gaze. She closes her eyes and pours the water back into the pool)

Peridot: (Standing up slowly) I just... wanted to be your friend.
Lapis: (Snapping) And I DIDN'T! IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!
Peridot: (Wearing an irritated but pained expression) Come on! I'm trying! I've been trying and you-... (Grumbles in angrish) Just keep being a jerk to me!
Lapis: Cause YOU won't leave me alone!
Steven: Guys...
Peridot: Cause I want to make you feel at home!
Steven: Please!..
Lapis: Why?! You don't know me! You don't actually care about me!
Peridot: I CARE ABOUT STEVEN, LAZULI! I'M DOING THIS FOR HIM! CAUSE HE WANTS /US/ TO BE FRIENDS!

(The three stand in silence)

Peridot: (Huffing in anger) I thought YOU'd understand that...
Lapis: I-... (Expression faltering a little, tears welling up before an angry look returning on her face, she snaps her head to look down and aside.)
Peridot: (rubbing her gem on her forehead, still upset) Look, I get it, you know? You're confused! You can never go back to Homeworld. (gesturing the field around her) This place, doesn't exactly feel like home yet. You're alone, no one could possibly know what that feels like! (Lapis narrows her eyes and glares as Peridot sarcastic emphasizes 'possibly) Oh wait, (angrily) I do! We're the same, except!.. (ending her outburst) you don't have to be alone!

(she regains her composure, and looks at Lapis, who is still glaring at her, unconvinced, looking away with the same expression.)

Peridot: So tell me then, (her expression turns desperate) what you want from me! And whatever that is, (sighing) I'll do it.
Lapis:	(scowling angrily as she snarls) I want you, to leave!
Peridot: (she is visibly hurt by the comment, but regains her determined look) Okay.

(Peridot complies and walks away into the hills as Lapis folds her arms, Steven staring after her worriedly. Lapis joins Steven's side with a cool expression.)

Steven:	Lapis, why are you being so mean to her? (he looks up at her) She's really trying!
Lapis:	(her expression softening, but still skeptical) Why do you trust her, Steven? (she unfolds her arms)
Steven:	(spreading his arms in explanation) Because I know her! Lapis, you're not even giving her a chance! I know she's abrassive but she means well, she really does! (Lapis looks down with a tinge of regret, before up at Steven again as he continues). Now it's too late and she's never coming back again.

(They look up in surprise as Peridot's distant cries rise in volume.)

Steven:	(surprised by Peridot running back over the horizon) Oh, she's coming back again!

(Peridot runs screaming past them to the barn.)

Peridot: They're here! AHHHH! (Peridot's screaming softens as she runs towards the barn.)

(A menacing, modern floating pod burst out of the clouds above and beams a yellow ray of light at Lapis and Steven.)

Steven:	(gasps) Run!

(Lapis and Steven run inside the barn, Steven panting audibly.)

Steven:	What is that thing!?
Peridot: (flustered) It's a Roaming Eye, a Homeworld tracking vessel! I told you, I'm public enemy number one!

(The pod hovers from above the barn and its beam passes in scattered rays through the plank ceiling.)

Peridot: (gasps in fear and covers her mouth quickly)

(All of them relax and sigh in relief as the Pod's light disappears and it audibly moves away, until the Pod resumes its beam from the partially-repaired broken wall of the shed, evoking them to flee again, Steven panting and Peridot screaming as they run out of the barn into the field.)

(All three cover their heads as it passes over them, the pod focusing its beam on the trio again.)

Peridot: No, uh, ah! (Peridot, overcome with fear, makes flustered and desperate noises as the pod stares them down.)

(The pod suddenly gains more visuals, its iris constricting and four similar diamonds surrounding its perpendicular sides as it moves towards them.)

Peridot: (closing her eyes in resignation as she hugs Steven's arm) This is it, Steven!! They're going to wipe my precious grin off the face of this planet!
Steven:	(she guards her with the arm she was hugging) Stay behind me! I'll protect you!

(Lapis moves forward silently and looks back at them. Peridot looks out from Steven's arm, blinking worriedly. Lapis turns back to the Roaming Eye, its light shading her red as she draws water up from the lake and shapes into a hand, flicking the pod and halting its descent upon them, before palming it into the ground dismissively.)

(The pod forms several diamond patterns around it as she slams into the ground. She stares at the pod with a mildly triumph stance as the others stare in disbelief.)

Peridot: (muttering in disbelief) Holy smokes...
Pearl:	(calling out from afar) Steven!
(Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl run into the field beside them, noticing the crashed pod.)
Amethyst: Holy smokes!
Pearl:	(concerned for Steven's safety) Are you alright? We saw the ship and came as fast as we could.
Steven:	Yeah, I'm okay. Lapis saved us.. but, it looks like Homeworld really has it out for Peridot.

(Peridot quietly starts moving away in a crouched position)

Lapis:	Peridot... (Peridot's hair stands in shock as she turns around, anticipating further rebuff.) (Lapis turns around) ..Are you okay?

(Peridot beams happily.)

Lapis:	Um... (she turns to hide her blush as Steven laughs gently, the other Gems staring curiously.)

(Suddenly, the pod begins to emit sounds, smoke gushing out as its hatch opens, and a one-eyed Ruby soldier emerges, staring around towards them menacingly.)
[Episode ends]