[Secret Santa] But... How On Earth Will This Ever Work?

Thing I wrote for the Crispy Secret Santa thing. Enjoy.

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But... How On Earth Will This Ever Work?


I step out of the lab, unbelievably disoriented and slightly tipsy from the chemicals that just surrounded me in a cramped tube.

Everything just feels... massive?

After a few more moments, my world stops spinning.

But one thing that certainly doesn't change is the scale of the surrounding objects. To me, this is certainly a very frightening experience to say the least. It's as if I've been...

No.

No, Nurse, you son of a fucking bitch.

“Nuuuuuuurse!” I slap my hands up to my mouth at the shrieking tone that erupts from my throat.

My voice is as high pitched as a god damn cartoon mouse!

“Emi, did it work? Em –“ He abruptly stops as he rounds the corner. Might I add, that Nurse is now about three or four feet taller than me, leaving me astonished by the tremors that shake my body from his massive footsteps.

I stare up at him in disbelief, bouncing up and down in place.

“You said nothing could go wrong! You said that it was just a little test, something that would decrease or increase a persons height in a minor way!”

He reaches back behind his neck with a quite panicked, not to mention very embarrassed, smile spreading across his face.

“W-Well you see, Emi... I really haven't done too much research in depth on the possible side effects of the transformation process.” He shuffles on over to a computer, crunching a couple of numbers into it as I continue to boil over in frustration.

“You better be able to fix this, you asshole!”

“I promise, I'll be able to fix it when - ”

Before he can finish his false promise to me, a distinct hiss arises from the second test capsule, making me jump around in fear of what may walk out of it.

That's probably because I completely forgot about Rin also participating in these tests with me.

Thump.

“Ouch. Why is this thing so small now?”

My eyes go wide in amazement. Ducking her way out of the capsule, Rin emerges.

Now there's not just one problem; there's two!

Standing at an easy, yet still astounding, height of at least nine, maybe even ten feet in the air, Rin shakes her head around from side to side.

“My head feels like it's been turned inside out.” She mumbles out loud, attempting to look up at her own skull.

Nurse takes a few cautious steps forward, his extremely slow pace confusing Rin.

She grins, an expression that only really ever shows when she's about to say something extremely stu-

“Nurse, why did you shrink everything? Or maybe I'm inside of my own mind and should be painting. You're going to make it hard to make a woman feel good when you're so small, you know.”

Yeah, that really should have been expected.

“Rin, down here!” I call to her, waving my hands around as she crouches down and raises an eyebrow at me.

She practically grimaces at the painful confusion and unfathomable thoughts that roll around in her head. She then stands back up, basically looking disgusted.

“But Nurse, I thought you said that she was supposed to be my arms. How can she be my arms if she's all tiny and stuff.” She groans as she flops down on the ground, nearly knocking me off my feet by the sheer force of the impact.

I tug at my twin tails in frustration.

He slowly backs away once again, scratching the back of his head.

“I think the two of you should just stay here for a bit. This is something that I, uh... maybe I should go speak to the boss man about this one.”

I hold up a my hand, making him stop in his tracks.

“What exactly do you expect us two to do, then? Just sit here this... this just absolutely stupid amount of bullshit you've put us through already!”

He smiles in a very apologetic manner as he turns away once more, heading back through a doorway.

“Just stay here and talk for now. I'll let you know what's going on when I get back.”

The door slams shut behind him, leaving one very confused Rin and one very pissed off Emi behind him.

I turn my head to her, still simmering in my own rage.

“Rin, aren't you angry or anything?”

She looks at me with absolutely clueless eyes, her eyebrows practically twisting into a knot.

“I don't know what being angry is really. I'm just not sure how I'm going to get changed when you're so tiny and won't even be able to put my clothes on me.”

--

I step onto the other side of the door and wipe the back of my hand across for my forehead, a very proud smile spanning across my face.

Standing on the other side of a one-way window is Mutou, who has more or less been my boss for this little 'experiment'.

He said I should be the one to actually talk to them with the impending outcome, simply because of my standing with the two – well,  much rather, one – of them.

He continues to stare through the glass as I step over beside him, the two of us having devious looks of approval set as our expressions.

Emi continues to blow up, her tiny body bouncing up and down as she exerts her true feelings to Rin.

“Well, my friend, you've done a good deed today. I assume everything went according to plan in there?” He speaks to me, his deadpan voice just adding to the ultimate feel of being a somewhat 'evil' doctor.

“Absolutely. They actually bought into the idea that it was some kind of malfunction.”

“Excellent.”

I do have one burning question to ask him, however.

“I must ask though, Mutou. When do you plan on changing the two of them back?”

He turns to me and smirks.

“Who said anything about changing them back?”