Forgive Me For I Have Thrilled

>be me, bonky
>i am taking the field of battle
>i have the support of all bonkies
>pickle horse-man asked me not to go
>he asked if he could at least take the field with me and do battle
>but this is a matter for bonkies
>for, you see, a golden bonky has formed
>and this cannot stand
>the odds of a golden bonky forming are infathomable
>far greater than the odds of the universe forming
>i have been chosen
>out of all the bonkies
>not because i'm particularly fast or strong
>but just because
>well i don't know
>we just kind of picked someone
>and it was me
>we figured one bonky was as good as another
>so now i'm trotting out to kill this golden bastard
>ironically in the golden 1 center arena
>we trot to the center of the arena
>the ref asks us if we know the rules
>we say uhhhh
>no not really
>the ref says kill each other
>ready?
>go!
>me and the golden bonky rear up on our hind legs
>his technique is flawless
>we're both rearing up and pedaling our forelimbs furiously at one another
>but i'm staying away
>because i don't like getting hurt
>finally our hindlimbs get tired
>so we settle back down and begin circling
>i'm hoping to bite the golden bonky
>and it seems he's hoping to bite me
>so i break away
>and it seems he had the exact same thought
>we do a figure eight and meet back in the middle
>where we rear up on our hind legs and start pedaling at one another again
>which didn't work the first time
>but we're kind of hoping for a different outcome
>but nothin doin
>so we bolt again
>and this time i'm going to show him how tough i am
>i start bucking around
>oh, he's bucking too
>well i'm going to buck over here
>oh we're getting too close
>well i'm going to try and run the life out of this dog
>we're galloping at full speed
>but the arena isn't very big
>it's a big arena for horse-men and humans
>but it's kind of a small arena for the greatest horse battle to ever take place
>anyways, we're running alongside one another to show how tough we are
>but we both get tired
>so we take a break
>then i chase him and he tries to kick me
>then he chases me and i try to kick him
>and we kind of carry on in that pattern
>lacking a better idea
>it really just seems like neither of us want to get hurt
>it turns out horses hate being hurt
>so we canter into the center of the arena
>and drop our heads
>and pin back our ears
>to show each other we don't like this
>and we're mad at each other
>and i feel like i ought to be doing something
>so i'm flipping my lip around on the ground
>pretending i found something interesting
>but there's nothing on the ground
>it's just a misdirection
>i really just kind of want to go and lie down in a field or something
>most of the bonkies have left anyway
>for various horse reasons
>it was a big ask to get them to sit still in a space made for humans
>we really should have done this out in a big field or something
>golden bonky has kind of forgotten about me
>i think he found a piece of straw or something
>that's just golden bonky's luck
>luckiest guy in the world
>i wish i had a piece of straw
>i have to make do pretending
>what was i doing
>i think i'll follow these bonkies
>we're running
>we're pretty cool
>we're fast and strong
>we're going to run outside and roll in some dirt