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- 1
- 00:00:07,123 --> 00:00:12,123
- Subtitles by explosiveskull
- 2
- 00:00:51,675 --> 00:00:52,798
- Trick or treat.
- 3
- 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,050
- Hi.
- 4
- 00:00:54,052 --> 00:00:57,135
- Oh, you guys look so cute here.
- 5
- 00:00:57,137 --> 00:00:59,345
- Alright, for you as well.
- 6
- 00:00:59,347 --> 00:01:00,306
- Alright.
- 7
- 00:01:00,308 --> 00:01:01,514
- Happy Halloween.
- 8
- 00:01:01,516 --> 00:01:03,140
- Okay kids,
- Happy Halloween.
- 9
- 00:02:25,921 --> 00:02:26,879
- No right.
- 10
- 00:02:27,754 --> 00:02:29,631
- You had no right to...
- 11
- 00:02:48,398 --> 00:02:50,108
- Baby Mark.
- 12
- 00:03:06,121 --> 00:03:07,247
- Fuck!
- 13
- 00:03:38,106 --> 00:03:40,149
- Honey, I'm home.
- 14
- 00:06:24,911 --> 00:06:28,079
- Happy
- Halloween, students.
- 15
- 00:06:28,081 --> 00:06:31,792
- Masks will not be
- permitted on campus today.
- 16
- 00:06:32,834 --> 00:06:34,333
- So, if you have a mask...
- 17
- 00:06:34,335 --> 00:06:37,337
- Tommy, mask, off!
- 18
- 00:06:37,339 --> 00:06:39,420
- Please place
- it inside your locker
- 19
- 00:06:39,422 --> 00:06:43,634
- and leave it there until
- the end of the school day.
- 20
- 00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:48,345
- Thank you for your understanding
- and cooperation, students.
- 21
- 00:06:48,347 --> 00:06:50,765
- And, have a blessed holiday.
- 22
- 00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:54,769
- Hey, Mama, what's your name?
- 23
- 00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:58,103
- My name is Mrs. Block
- 24
- 00:06:58,105 --> 00:07:01,607
- and I start teaching
- here next week.
- 25
- 00:07:01,609 --> 00:07:02,981
- Why?
- 26
- 00:07:02,983 --> 00:07:06,363
- Because I'm a teacher
- and it's my job.
- 27
- 00:07:07,488 --> 00:07:09,446
- No, I mean, why here?
- 28
- 00:07:09,448 --> 00:07:12,324
- Mrs. Block, Principal
- Dale will see you now.
- 29
- 00:07:12,326 --> 00:07:13,369
- Thank you.
- 30
- 00:07:14,618 --> 00:07:17,371
- It was nice
- meeting you, Tommy.
- 31
- 00:07:23,668 --> 00:07:24,959
- Call me.
- 32
- 00:07:24,961 --> 00:07:26,669
- God damn
- it, Tommy, stop hitting
- 33
- 00:07:26,671 --> 00:07:30,883
- on every woman who walks
- in here or I will end you.
- 34
- 00:07:38,222 --> 00:07:42,975
- So, how is small town life
- treating you, Mrs. Block?
- 35
- 00:07:42,977 --> 00:07:47,477
- Well, I mean, there's
- some adjustments for sure,
- 36
- 00:07:47,479 --> 00:07:51,189
- but, uh, it's nice.
- 37
- 00:07:51,191 --> 00:07:53,483
- Where
- are you from originally,
- 38
- 00:07:53,485 --> 00:07:55,485
- Los Angeles, if
- my memory serves?
- 39
- 00:07:55,487 --> 00:07:57,987
- Yes, my husband and I are
- both native to Los Angeles.
- 40
- 00:07:57,989 --> 00:08:00,321
- And, you taught
- middle school out there.
- 41
- 00:08:00,323 --> 00:08:02,490
- Yes, for about eight years.
- 42
- 00:08:02,492 --> 00:08:05,659
- Oh, that
- must've been hell.
- 43
- 00:08:05,661 --> 00:08:10,038
- It's not as bad as you might
- imagine or may have heard.
- 44
- 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,168
- I'm sure, but I
- have heard stories.
- 45
- 00:08:14,502 --> 00:08:17,003
- What kinda stories?
- 46
- 00:08:17,005 --> 00:08:21,089
- Oh, you know, troubled
- youth stories, hooligans,
- 47
- 00:08:21,091 --> 00:08:23,343
- Los Angeles ne'er-do-wells.
- 48
- 00:08:24,677 --> 00:08:27,677
- I mean, there are
- certainly some bad apples,
- 49
- 00:08:27,679 --> 00:08:32,348
- but I can assure you that is
- not a California relegation.
- 50
- 00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:35,853
- Sure, sure.
- 51
- 00:08:43,526 --> 00:08:47,235
- But truthfully, this whole
- world has gone to hell
- 52
- 00:08:47,237 --> 00:08:50,783
- in a hand basket and
- not just Los Angeles.
- 53
- 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:58,245
- We have to watch these kids
- closer than ever before,
- 54
- 00:08:58,247 --> 00:08:59,623
- keep an eye out.
- 55
- 00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:02,918
- These kids, they're dangerous.
- 56
- 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,045
- They're dangerous now.
- 57
- 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,549
- I'm sure I'll do just fine.
- 58
- 00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:14,134
- Are you a God-fearing woman?
- 59
- 00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:21,890
- Are you asking me
- if I'm religious?
- 60
- 00:09:21,892 --> 00:09:26,060
- I'm asking you if you
- fear the good Lord on high.
- 61
- 00:09:26,062 --> 00:09:27,937
- I'm sorry, Principal
- Dale, I'm struggling
- 62
- 00:09:27,939 --> 00:09:31,899
- to understand how that
- question is relevant.
- 63
- 00:09:31,901 --> 00:09:33,732
- It's not.
- 64
- 00:09:33,734 --> 00:09:37,405
- Consider it a personal
- inquiry on my behalf.
- 65
- 00:09:39,948 --> 00:09:44,159
- Okay, then I would say that
- I am agnostic, if anything.
- 66
- 00:09:45,912 --> 00:09:48,579
- I don't subscribe to a
- particular core belief system.
- 67
- 00:09:48,581 --> 00:09:49,581
- Oh, I see.
- 68
- 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:55,669
- You're one of those
- science people.
- 69
- 00:09:55,671 --> 00:09:57,088
- Well, never mind.
- 70
- 00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,422
- Look, Mrs. Block...
- 71
- 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,340
- Call me Ella.
- 72
- 00:10:01,342 --> 00:10:02,426
- Mrs. Block.
- 73
- 00:10:03,635 --> 00:10:07,095
- Now, you may be used to
- certain teaching methods
- 74
- 00:10:07,097 --> 00:10:11,514
- back where you're from
- and I, and by I, I mean,
- 75
- 00:10:11,516 --> 00:10:13,601
- the board, respect that.
- 76
- 00:10:14,769 --> 00:10:17,480
- But, what you have to respect is
- 77
- 00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,816
- this is a very particular town
- 78
- 00:10:21,816 --> 00:10:24,775
- with a very particular
- way of life,
- 79
- 00:10:24,777 --> 00:10:27,446
- way of belief, way of education.
- 80
- 00:10:29,449 --> 00:10:32,448
- If you can adapt to
- that with an open mind,
- 81
- 00:10:32,450 --> 00:10:35,159
- you'll fit in just fine.
- 82
- 00:10:35,161 --> 00:10:38,539
- You come highly
- recommended and frankly,
- 83
- 00:10:39,622 --> 00:10:41,873
- I thank the good
- Lord that you're here
- 84
- 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:46,129
- because we could certainly use
- someone with your background.
- 85
- 00:10:47,464 --> 00:10:50,466
- I just don't wanna
- have any issues.
- 86
- 00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:56,802
- There won't be any.
- 87
- 00:10:56,804 --> 00:10:58,803
- Great, then I'm excited
- 88
- 00:10:58,805 --> 00:11:01,141
- to see you here come Monday.
- 89
- 00:11:02,141 --> 00:11:04,060
- Okay, see you Monday.
- 90
- 00:11:05,227 --> 00:11:08,146
- Oh, Mrs. Block,
- Happy Halloween.
- 91
- 00:11:38,505 --> 00:11:40,216
- You set the alarm?
- 92
- 00:11:42,009 --> 00:11:44,552
- I don't wanna sleep all day.
- 93
- 00:11:46,012 --> 00:11:48,011
- I thought you
- had a meeting this morning.
- 94
- 00:11:48,013 --> 00:11:49,097
- I did.
- 95
- 00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,179
- I came back home and got in bed
- 96
- 00:11:50,181 --> 00:11:52,767
- just to sleep for half an hour.
- 97
- 00:11:54,268 --> 00:11:55,186
- Get up.
- 98
- 00:11:56,396 --> 00:11:59,607
- Honey, even God
- took a day off work.
- 99
- 00:12:01,566 --> 00:12:04,441
- This moving is kicking my
- ass six ways from Sunday
- 100
- 00:12:04,443 --> 00:12:06,195
- and I don't like it.
- 101
- 00:12:07,238 --> 00:12:09,363
- There's a veritable
- boatload of boxes
- 102
- 00:12:09,365 --> 00:12:11,198
- crying to be unpacked.
- 103
- 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:15,200
- We can't let their cries
- go unheard for very long.
- 104
- 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,536
- We don't wanna look like bums.
- 105
- 00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:20,204
- But, everyone think
- we're bums, who?
- 106
- 00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:21,289
- Who's gonna think we're bums?
- 107
- 00:12:21,291 --> 00:12:22,749
- We don't know
- anybody in this town.
- 108
- 00:12:22,751 --> 00:12:24,918
- Not for long, shiny
- personalities such as ours
- 109
- 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,880
- need other similar
- auras to thrive.
- 110
- 00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,552
- Honey, I start work tonight,
- 111
- 00:12:34,885 --> 00:12:38,387
- Halloween Night,
- at the hospital.
- 112
- 00:12:38,389 --> 00:12:40,222
- Brother needs to sleep.
- 113
- 00:12:40,224 --> 00:12:43,057
- Do you know how many candy
- apple-related child injuries
- 114
- 00:12:43,059 --> 00:12:44,474
- I'm gonna have to deal with?
- 115
- 00:12:44,476 --> 00:12:46,644
- Makes me sad just
- thinking about it.
- 116
- 00:12:46,646 --> 00:12:48,645
- Fine, be a bum.
- 117
- 00:12:48,647 --> 00:12:49,897
- Okay, I will.
- 118
- 00:12:51,650 --> 00:12:54,445
- I'm going to do
- some unpacking.
- 119
- 00:13:00,574 --> 00:13:01,742
- Coffee, stat.
- 120
- 00:13:03,409 --> 00:13:05,120
- Yeah, yeah.
- 121
- 00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:09,454
- Why do we even
- have this still?
- 122
- 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,582
- It's a giant R.
- 123
- 00:13:11,584 --> 00:13:13,834
- Coffee stat, my ass.
- 124
- 00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,461
- Coffee, coffee, no.
- 125
- 00:13:32,976 --> 00:13:36,311
- ♪ Da da da da da
- 126
- 00:13:36,313 --> 00:13:39,354
- ♪ Da da da da da
- 127
- 00:13:39,356 --> 00:13:40,772
- Honey, is that you?
- 128
- 00:13:40,774 --> 00:13:42,190
- No, it's not.
- 129
- 00:13:42,192 --> 00:13:43,940
- Hey,
- you wanna join me?
- 130
- 00:13:43,942 --> 00:13:46,276
- Sorry, too busy
- for copulation.
- 131
- 00:13:46,278 --> 00:13:48,279
- Come on, we gotta
- break in the new place.
- 132
- 00:13:48,281 --> 00:13:50,279
- There's a cup of
- coffee for you on the tub.
- 133
- 00:13:53,117 --> 00:13:57,369
- Hey, hey, if I use,
- if I use curly shampoo
- 134
- 00:13:57,371 --> 00:14:00,625
- on my head, will it
- make my hair curly?
- 135
- 00:14:05,795 --> 00:14:06,963
- God save me.
- 136
- 00:14:08,297 --> 00:14:09,505
- You're stressing yourself out.
- 137
- 00:14:09,507 --> 00:14:10,881
- I'm not
- stressing myself out.
- 138
- 00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:11,881
- You're worrying.
- 139
- 00:14:11,883 --> 00:14:13,342
- I'm not worrying.
- 140
- 00:14:13,344 --> 00:14:15,050
- We should hire day laborers.
- 141
- 00:14:15,052 --> 00:14:17,135
- You trust day
- laborers with our stuff?
- 142
- 00:14:17,137 --> 00:14:18,304
- Racist.
- 143
- 00:14:18,306 --> 00:14:20,179
- No, it has nothing
- to do with race.
- 144
- 00:14:20,181 --> 00:14:21,514
- You know
- what this house needs?
- 145
- 00:14:21,516 --> 00:14:22,474
- Organization?
- 146
- 00:14:22,476 --> 00:14:23,725
- A pumpkin.
- 147
- 00:14:23,727 --> 00:14:25,810
- Why the hell do
- we need a pumpkin?
- 148
- 00:14:25,812 --> 00:14:27,313
- It's Halloween.
- 149
- 00:14:31,192 --> 00:14:32,317
- Wow, is it?
- 150
- 00:14:34,027 --> 00:14:36,527
- Lady, you're oblivious.
- 151
- 00:14:36,529 --> 00:14:38,362
- Are you not aware of
- your surroundings?
- 152
- 00:14:38,364 --> 00:14:40,197
- Forgive me.
- 153
- 00:14:40,199 --> 00:14:41,824
- Are you gonna rinse that?
- 154
- 00:14:41,826 --> 00:14:43,074
- Eventually.
- 155
- 00:14:43,076 --> 00:14:44,033
- I'm gonna head to the
- supermarket we saw
- 156
- 00:14:44,035 --> 00:14:45,492
- on the way into town.
- 157
- 00:14:45,494 --> 00:14:47,828
- There's a supermarket
- on the way into town?
- 158
- 00:14:47,830 --> 00:14:49,831
- Oblivious.
- 159
- 00:14:50,248 --> 00:14:53,332
- Robert, we just have so
- much to do around here.
- 160
- 00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:55,001
- We don't need to waste
- our time decorating.
- 161
- 00:14:55,003 --> 00:14:56,502
- I'm gonna cut you off there.
- 162
- 00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:59,004
- We totally can waste
- time decorating.
- 163
- 00:14:59,006 --> 00:15:00,505
- It's the best part
- of being an adult.
- 164
- 00:15:00,507 --> 00:15:03,007
- You get to pick and choose
- when to be responsible.
- 165
- 00:15:03,009 --> 00:15:05,719
- And, plus, I'm not even
- saying we whole hog it.
- 166
- 00:15:05,721 --> 00:15:08,886
- I'm simply suggesting
- that we carve a silly face
- 167
- 00:15:08,888 --> 00:15:11,347
- into a pumpkin to
- help center us.
- 168
- 00:15:11,349 --> 00:15:13,099
- I'm centered.
- 169
- 00:15:13,101 --> 00:15:15,851
- You're also a liar, not
- a very convincing one,
- 170
- 00:15:15,853 --> 00:15:17,855
- but a liar nonetheless.
- 171
- 00:15:19,398 --> 00:15:22,691
- Fine, get your stupid pumpkin.
- 172
- 00:15:22,693 --> 00:15:24,192
- But, no candy.
- 173
- 00:15:24,194 --> 00:15:26,694
- I prefer not to have to
- field a myriad of knocks
- 174
- 00:15:26,696 --> 00:15:29,029
- from expectant hungry
- kids all night.
- 175
- 00:15:29,031 --> 00:15:31,032
- God, you're lame.
- 176
- 00:15:31,034 --> 00:15:33,701
- I have shit to do, understand?
- 177
- 00:15:34,786 --> 00:15:36,536
- I need keys.
- 178
- 00:15:36,538 --> 00:15:40,583
- Pivot your head
- a little to your right.
- 179
- 00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,083
- Really?
- 180
- 00:15:43,085 --> 00:15:44,875
- That's the first
- thing you unpack.
- 181
- 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:48,714
- Organization, that's
- what this place needs.
- 182
- 00:15:49,590 --> 00:15:52,300
- Well, it also needs a pumpkin.
- 183
- 00:15:53,593 --> 00:15:55,217
- Have fun unpacking.
- 184
- 00:15:55,219 --> 00:15:56,053
- Thanks.
- 185
- 00:16:12,567 --> 00:16:13,401
- Rinsing.
- 186
- 00:16:18,073 --> 00:16:19,406
- Accomplishment.
- 187
- 00:16:29,915 --> 00:16:31,958
- It's gonna be a long day.
- 188
- 00:17:18,373 --> 00:17:19,290
- Who is it?
- 189
- 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,999
- Woo hoo.
- 190
- 00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,168
- Hi, it's Mrs. Dekker.
- 191
- 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,128
- I'm your neighbor next door.
- 192
- 00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:30,800
- I wanted to welcome you
- to the neighborhood.
- 193
- 00:17:34,344 --> 00:17:35,220
- Weirdo.
- 194
- 00:17:39,347 --> 00:17:43,476
- Well, that's a bad idea,
- if ever I've seen one.
- 195
- 00:17:45,728 --> 00:17:46,977
- What is?
- 196
- 00:17:46,979 --> 00:17:49,812
- Well, I didn't hear
- you unlock the door,
- 197
- 00:17:49,814 --> 00:17:52,690
- which leads me to believe
- that you didn't lock it.
- 198
- 00:17:52,692 --> 00:17:54,819
- Which is a very bad idea.
- 199
- 00:17:56,571 --> 00:17:57,485
- Sorry.
- 200
- 00:17:57,487 --> 00:17:59,155
- Oh no, don't be sorry to me.
- 201
- 00:17:59,157 --> 00:18:01,990
- Be sorry to your
- future terrorized self.
- 202
- 00:18:05,411 --> 00:18:06,996
- I baked you a pie.
- 203
- 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,915
- Oh, that's very kind of you.
- 204
- 00:18:11,917 --> 00:18:14,168
- It's got Halloween theme
- 205
- 00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:18,671
- and little bite-sized
- goodies in it.
- 206
- 00:18:19,839 --> 00:18:20,840
- Thank you.
- 207
- 00:18:21,674 --> 00:18:23,426
- You are so welcome.
- 208
- 00:18:27,012 --> 00:18:29,389
- Uh, did you wanna come in?
- 209
- 00:18:31,224 --> 00:18:32,849
- Oh no, no, I've been
- in that whole house
- 210
- 00:18:32,851 --> 00:18:35,017
- many, many times.
- 211
- 00:18:35,019 --> 00:18:38,687
- No snooping notions for
- this old hag.
- 212
- 00:18:38,689 --> 00:18:42,024
- No, I just, I really just
- wanted to welcome you
- 213
- 00:18:42,026 --> 00:18:44,235
- to the neighborhood and to
- 214
- 00:18:46,196 --> 00:18:49,071
- give you a little
- word of warning.
- 215
- 00:18:49,073 --> 00:18:50,571
- Oh, if it's about
- locking the door,
- 216
- 00:18:50,573 --> 00:18:52,073
- just consider that noted.
- 217
- 00:18:52,075 --> 00:18:53,532
- My husband just left.
- 218
- 00:18:53,534 --> 00:18:57,371
- No, it's a word of warning
- about the neighborhood.
- 219
- 00:18:59,540 --> 00:19:03,540
- You see, you being new and
- it's such a nice street.
- 220
- 00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:06,543
- It looks like it was ripped
- out of a Rockwell painting,
- 221
- 00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:08,755
- but there is one bad apple.
- 222
- 00:19:15,261 --> 00:19:18,973
- His name is Samuel and
- he is a sex offender.
- 223
- 00:19:21,724 --> 00:19:24,392
- I figured since you're
- new that you didn't get
- 224
- 00:19:24,394 --> 00:19:29,063
- that whole door-to-door
- admission of guilt thing.
- 225
- 00:19:29,065 --> 00:19:30,230
- Yeah.
- 226
- 00:19:30,232 --> 00:19:31,773
- Yeah, no, thank
- you for telling me.
- 227
- 00:19:31,775 --> 00:19:36,236
- Yeah, he worked over at the
- elementary school on Madison.
- 228
- 00:19:36,238 --> 00:19:38,654
- And, you know where Madison is?
- 229
- 00:19:38,656 --> 00:19:40,322
- No, I can't say that I do.
- 230
- 00:19:40,324 --> 00:19:42,910
- It's right by here and well,
- 231
- 00:19:43,909 --> 00:19:47,744
- he was caught cavorting
- with his students.
- 232
- 00:19:47,746 --> 00:19:48,622
- Yeah.
- 233
- 00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:55,086
- Kids, just children, really.
- 234
- 00:19:57,839 --> 00:19:59,838
- Well, thank you for the pie.
- 235
- 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:03,258
- Oh yeah, yeah,
- you're so welcome.
- 236
- 00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:05,804
- Um.
- 237
- 00:20:07,762 --> 00:20:10,098
- Welcome to the neighborhood.
- 238
- 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,781
- Oh, God damn it.
- 239
- 00:20:43,294 --> 00:20:44,628
- Hey, I'm back.
- 240
- 00:20:53,135 --> 00:20:54,720
- Hard at work I see.
- 241
- 00:21:02,684 --> 00:21:05,644
- Honey, I'm home.
- 242
- 00:21:05,646 --> 00:21:07,480
- Shit!
- 243
- 00:21:13,235 --> 00:21:16,987
- I'm beginning to
- question your work ethic.
- 244
- 00:21:19,823 --> 00:21:22,493
- Can't hold your breath forever.
- 245
- 00:21:23,701 --> 00:21:26,912
- Fine, if that's how
- you wanna play it.
- 246
- 00:21:28,831 --> 00:21:30,500
- Ass, turn it off.
- 247
- 00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:33,707
- You ruined my perfectly
- relaxing bath.
- 248
- 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,043
- That
- was my intention.
- 249
- 00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:36,253
- Ass.
- 250
- 00:21:36,255 --> 00:21:38,337
- You said that already.
- 251
- 00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:40,004
- I was taking a break.
- 252
- 00:21:40,006 --> 00:21:41,924
- From working oh so hard.
- 253
- 00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:44,509
- Yeah, I got a lot
- of unpacking done.
- 254
- 00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:47,512
- Not, I saw one box in the
- living room that was empty.
- 255
- 00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:49,846
- Did you check the kitchen?
- 256
- 00:21:49,848 --> 00:21:51,431
- No, should I have?
- 257
- 00:21:51,433 --> 00:21:54,684
- If you had checked the
- kitchen, you presumptuous fool,
- 258
- 00:21:54,686 --> 00:21:57,853
- you would've seen the results
- of the bulk of my labor.
- 259
- 00:21:57,855 --> 00:22:00,272
- And, I guess I'm just
- supposed to take a report.
- 260
- 00:22:00,274 --> 00:22:01,855
- You're my husband.
- 261
- 00:22:01,857 --> 00:22:03,232
- You're supposed to take my
- word on everything always.
- 262
- 00:22:03,234 --> 00:22:05,277
- Oh Christ, is that
- what I signed up for,
- 263
- 00:22:05,279 --> 00:22:08,237
- blind suppositions
- and constant nagging?
- 264
- 00:22:08,239 --> 00:22:09,613
- Constant nagging, my ass.
- 265
- 00:22:09,615 --> 00:22:10,530
- Get out!
- 266
- 00:22:10,532 --> 00:22:12,031
- No.
- 267
- 00:22:12,033 --> 00:22:13,700
- But, I totally
- the temperature buzz
- 268
- 00:22:13,702 --> 00:22:15,242
- with that water stunt.
- 269
- 00:22:15,244 --> 00:22:16,911
- Actually, it's
- quite comfortable.
- 270
- 00:22:16,913 --> 00:22:18,371
- I think you should get in.
- 271
- 00:22:18,373 --> 00:22:21,289
- I should most definitely
- not do as you are suggesting.
- 272
- 00:22:21,291 --> 00:22:25,709
- Because I got a trunk full of
- pumpkins that need retrieving
- 273
- 00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:28,713
- then carving before I gotta
- haul ass to the hospital.
- 274
- 00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:32,050
- Pumpkins not pumpkin,
- meaning plural?
- 275
- 00:22:33,051 --> 00:22:34,216
- Plethora.
- 276
- 00:22:34,218 --> 00:22:35,718
- Oh God.
- 277
- 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,552
- I can't be trusted
- when seasonally shopping.
- 278
- 00:22:37,554 --> 00:22:40,222
- What can I say, I
- festive by nature.
- 279
- 00:22:40,224 --> 00:22:43,099
- Well, I've made a decision.
- 280
- 00:22:43,101 --> 00:22:44,725
- About what?
- 281
- 00:22:44,727 --> 00:22:48,229
- I think that you
- must take a dip.
- 282
- 00:22:48,231 --> 00:22:49,062
- What?
- 283
- 00:22:49,064 --> 00:22:49,896
- No, no, no.
- 284
- 00:22:51,817 --> 00:22:52,734
- Yes.
- 285
- 00:22:56,404 --> 00:23:00,239
- General etiquette lesson,
- just putting this out there.
- 286
- 00:23:00,241 --> 00:23:02,740
- If you're going to dunk
- someone in a tub of water
- 287
- 00:23:02,742 --> 00:23:05,451
- against their will, it is
- just polite to have a towel
- 288
- 00:23:05,453 --> 00:23:06,827
- waiting for them.
- 289
- 00:23:06,829 --> 00:23:09,747
- A real towel, not a hand towel
- 290
- 00:23:09,749 --> 00:23:12,123
- the size of a
- Muppet's loincloth.
- 291
- 00:23:12,125 --> 00:23:13,624
- You drew first blood.
- 292
- 00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:16,753
- My actions were
- purely reactionary.
- 293
- 00:23:16,755 --> 00:23:20,087
- What the hell are these doing
- in the dining room, anyway?
- 294
- 00:23:20,089 --> 00:23:22,341
- You gonna help me with
- these pumpkins now?
- 295
- 00:23:22,343 --> 00:23:23,926
- Must I?
- 296
- 00:23:23,928 --> 00:23:25,592
- For better or worse.
- 297
- 00:23:25,594 --> 00:23:28,137
- This truly falls into
- the latter category.
- 298
- 00:23:28,139 --> 00:23:30,600
- Depends how you look at it.
- 299
- 00:23:32,516 --> 00:23:34,602
- Where's the blow dryer
- 300
- 00:23:35,603 --> 00:23:36,977
- and my cardigan?
- 301
- 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:42,441
- You know these chairs
- should have your names on 'em.
- 302
- 00:23:42,443 --> 00:23:45,984
- You're up here sitting
- in 'em so much.
- 303
- 00:23:45,986 --> 00:23:50,198
- Your teacher asked you politely
- to please remove the masks.
- 304
- 00:23:52,451 --> 00:23:53,327
- Politely.
- 305
- 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:56,704
- Like a human being.
- 306
- 00:23:58,289 --> 00:24:01,789
- Principal Dale, I'm
- gonna take my lunch now.
- 307
- 00:24:01,791 --> 00:24:02,958
- That's fine.
- 308
- 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,125
- Just let me know
- when you get back.
- 309
- 00:24:05,127 --> 00:24:05,962
- Okay.
- 310
- 00:24:08,129 --> 00:24:10,715
- Did you see what I did there?
- 311
- 00:24:11,634 --> 00:24:13,468
- That was being human.
- 312
- 00:24:24,143 --> 00:24:27,646
- All right, you need
- to remove your masks.
- 313
- 00:24:31,984 --> 00:24:33,318
- Give 'em to me.
- 314
- 00:24:35,486 --> 00:24:36,986
- I'll get 'em back to you
- at the end of the day.
- 315
- 00:24:36,988 --> 00:24:37,986
- No!
- 316
- 00:25:32,074 --> 00:25:34,202
- Principal Dale.
- 317
- 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,051
- How much did all this cost?
- 318
- 00:25:56,053 --> 00:25:57,220
- Not much.
- 319
- 00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:59,555
- How much is not much?
- 320
- 00:25:59,557 --> 00:26:00,556
- Not much is not much.
- 321
- 00:26:00,558 --> 00:26:03,225
- Stop being a.
- 322
- 00:26:03,227 --> 00:26:04,892
- I know not the
- meaning of the word.
- 323
- 00:26:04,894 --> 00:26:07,561
- Come now, let's get
- busy before I have to
- 324
- 00:26:07,563 --> 00:26:11,314
- rush off the hospital for a
- night of charcoal feeding,
- 325
- 00:26:11,316 --> 00:26:15,069
- alcohol abusing college cretins.
- 326
- 00:26:16,947 --> 00:26:17,903
- Yeah.
- 327
- 00:26:17,905 --> 00:26:20,156
- Jesus.
- 328
- 00:26:20,908 --> 00:26:22,908
- What's wrong?
- 329
- 00:26:27,913 --> 00:26:29,748
- Wow.
- 330
- 00:26:31,249 --> 00:26:32,959
- Who the hell is that?
- 331
- 00:26:37,964 --> 00:26:41,008
- The resident pederast.
- 332
- 00:26:42,301 --> 00:26:44,591
- Are you kidding me?
- 333
- 00:26:44,593 --> 00:26:45,469
- No.
- 334
- 00:26:46,637 --> 00:26:49,596
- Our lovely neighbor, who I
- assume is the resident busybody
- 335
- 00:26:49,598 --> 00:26:51,973
- informed me of his
- presence while you were out
- 336
- 00:26:51,975 --> 00:26:54,770
- participating in
- pumpkin palooza.
- 337
- 00:26:58,021 --> 00:27:01,105
- Why is he just
- standing there like that?
- 338
- 00:27:01,107 --> 00:27:03,941
- I know not the minds
- of sexual deviants.
- 339
- 00:27:03,943 --> 00:27:05,194
- Hey, be kind.
- 340
- 00:27:06,113 --> 00:27:07,654
- He may be reformed.
- 341
- 00:27:09,448 --> 00:27:11,159
- I'll go talk to him.
- 342
- 00:27:17,788 --> 00:27:18,955
- Hey there, buddy.
- 343
- 00:27:18,957 --> 00:27:21,290
- Uh, my name is Robert.
- 344
- 00:27:21,292 --> 00:27:23,500
- My wife, Ella, and I just
- moved to the neighborhood.
- 345
- 00:27:26,629 --> 00:27:27,463
- Okay.
- 346
- 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:32,842
- Hey, look I was just curious
- why you were, you know,
- 347
- 00:27:34,177 --> 00:27:37,386
- standing here in
- front of my house.
- 348
- 00:27:37,388 --> 00:27:38,636
- It's a free country.
- 349
- 00:27:38,638 --> 00:27:40,891
- I can stand here if I want.
- 350
- 00:27:43,475 --> 00:27:44,685
- Fair enough.
- 351
- 00:27:45,811 --> 00:27:49,229
- Anyway, hey could you
- do me a neighborly solid
- 352
- 00:27:49,231 --> 00:27:52,651
- and you know, not
- lecherously stand here?
- 353
- 00:27:54,486 --> 00:27:57,236
- It's creeping my wife out.
- 354
- 00:27:57,238 --> 00:27:58,364
- No problem.
- 355
- 00:27:59,699 --> 00:28:02,657
- I don't wanna creep anybody
- out, not on Halloween.
- 356
- 00:28:02,659 --> 00:28:04,200
- There's enough
- creepiness in the air.
- 357
- 00:28:04,202 --> 00:28:05,160
- Yeah.
- 358
- 00:28:05,162 --> 00:28:06,497
- Name's Samuel.
- 359
- 00:28:07,662 --> 00:28:10,997
- You can just call me
- the resident pederast.
- 360
- 00:28:10,999 --> 00:28:13,000
- Everyone else seems to.
- 361
- 00:28:25,261 --> 00:28:28,678
- Well, that sure as shit took
- the piss out of my Halloween.
- 362
- 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,180
- What the hell happened?
- 363
- 00:28:30,182 --> 00:28:32,014
- You need to keep your
- voice down from now on, okay?
- 364
- 00:28:32,016 --> 00:28:34,017
- What do you mean?
- 365
- 00:28:34,019 --> 00:28:35,769
- I need to Clorox the
- first layer of skin
- 366
- 00:28:35,771 --> 00:28:37,853
- off my palm, forgive me.
- 367
- 00:28:37,855 --> 00:28:39,565
- Are you mad at me?
- 368
- 00:28:41,359 --> 00:28:43,775
- He heard what you
- called him, Ella.
- 369
- 00:28:43,777 --> 00:28:45,192
- What did I call him?
- 370
- 00:28:45,194 --> 00:28:46,528
- The resident pederast.
- 371
- 00:28:46,530 --> 00:28:47,779
- That's what he is.
- 372
- 00:28:47,781 --> 00:28:50,404
- Be that as it
- may, he's creepy,
- 373
- 00:28:50,406 --> 00:28:51,698
- he lives across the street,
- 374
- 00:28:51,700 --> 00:28:53,700
- and he's got an
- alleged rap sheet.
- 375
- 00:28:53,702 --> 00:28:56,369
- How the hell did he hear me?
- 376
- 00:28:56,371 --> 00:28:59,704
- I didn't scream it and I
- think there's enough space
- 377
- 00:28:59,706 --> 00:29:02,207
- between our house and
- where he's standing.
- 378
- 00:29:02,209 --> 00:29:04,042
- I don't know and I don't care.
- 379
- 00:29:04,044 --> 00:29:07,710
- All I'm saying is that
- was super awkward,
- 380
- 00:29:07,712 --> 00:29:10,965
- in a super awkward, throat cut
- in the middle of the night,
- 381
- 00:29:10,967 --> 00:29:12,051
- sort of way.
- 382
- 00:29:14,302 --> 00:29:15,802
- I beseech you.
- 383
- 00:29:15,804 --> 00:29:18,053
- Put on the guise of forward
- thinking whenever that man
- 384
- 00:29:18,055 --> 00:29:19,888
- is within earshot.
- 385
- 00:29:20,890 --> 00:29:22,640
- Now, my palm burns.
- 386
- 00:29:22,642 --> 00:29:24,392
- I'm sorry.
- 387
- 00:29:24,394 --> 00:29:26,394
- I didn't think he could hear me.
- 388
- 00:29:26,396 --> 00:29:28,604
- But, forgive me offending
- someone with that kind
- 389
- 00:29:28,606 --> 00:29:30,481
- of transgressive past
- isn't gonna cause me
- 390
- 00:29:30,483 --> 00:29:33,232
- to lose any sleep at night.
- 391
- 00:29:33,234 --> 00:29:35,402
- And, that's not
- what I care about.
- 392
- 00:29:35,404 --> 00:29:37,110
- Call him whatever you
- want on a piece of paper
- 393
- 00:29:37,112 --> 00:29:40,071
- that'll end up in your
- angry letter drawer,
- 394
- 00:29:40,073 --> 00:29:43,407
- but when a human being may
- be able to audibly pick up
- 395
- 00:29:43,409 --> 00:29:47,953
- on your negative feelings,
- I'm just saying be careful.
- 396
- 00:29:47,955 --> 00:29:51,331
- I don't want him
- hating us, hating you,
- 397
- 00:29:51,333 --> 00:29:54,668
- and then acting on some
- sort of nefarious impulses
- 398
- 00:29:54,670 --> 00:29:56,421
- he may be harboring.
- 399
- 00:29:57,588 --> 00:30:01,174
- Now, may I please carve
- a God damn pumpkin?
- 400
- 00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:04,761
- Please.
- 401
- 00:30:23,986 --> 00:30:25,110
- Whoa.
- 402
- 00:32:21,958 --> 00:32:23,541
- He's alive
- 403
- 00:32:23,543 --> 00:32:24,461
- He's alive!
- 404
- 00:32:26,545 --> 00:32:28,212
- All right, be
- careful, psychopath.
- 405
- 00:32:28,214 --> 00:32:31,964
- I have created the
- perfect jack-o'-lantern.
- 406
- 00:32:31,966 --> 00:32:33,215
- I'm so proud of you.
- 407
- 00:32:33,217 --> 00:32:34,718
- Hey, I worked hard for this.
- 408
- 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:38,389
- Get off your ass and
- come bask in the glory.
- 409
- 00:32:43,894 --> 00:32:47,729
- What the hell is
- that abomination?
- 410
- 00:32:47,731 --> 00:32:50,104
- What, it's a
- portrait of my grandpa.
- 411
- 00:32:50,106 --> 00:32:52,065
- Okay, there are so many
- things wrong with this.
- 412
- 00:32:52,067 --> 00:32:54,651
- A, was your grandfather Hitler?
- 413
- 00:32:54,653 --> 00:32:56,569
- And, B, why would
- you carve a portrait,
- 414
- 00:32:56,571 --> 00:32:58,737
- and I use the term
- portrait very loosely,
- 415
- 00:32:58,739 --> 00:33:00,238
- into a pumpkin?
- 416
- 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:01,907
- I have no idea how you
- get Hitler from this.
- 417
- 00:33:01,909 --> 00:33:04,909
- Just look at his mustache,
- and his Jew-hating eyes.
- 418
- 00:33:04,911 --> 00:33:07,077
- Those aren't Jew-hating eyes.
- 419
- 00:33:07,079 --> 00:33:09,245
- Those are kindly old man eyes.
- 420
- 00:33:09,247 --> 00:33:11,081
- Used to carve pumpkins
- with my grandfather
- 421
- 00:33:11,083 --> 00:33:12,582
- when I was a kid.
- 422
- 00:33:12,584 --> 00:33:14,583
- That is adorable and the
- perfect way to announce
- 423
- 00:33:14,585 --> 00:33:16,503
- our anti-Semitism
- to the neighborhood.
- 424
- 00:33:16,505 --> 00:33:19,463
- All this work for nothing.
- 425
- 00:33:19,465 --> 00:33:21,423
- All right, I gotta go
- ready for my shift.
- 426
- 00:33:21,425 --> 00:33:23,759
- Okay, but be cool about
- what lights you turn on.
- 427
- 00:33:23,761 --> 00:33:25,801
- I don't want anyone stopping
- by expecting any treats
- 428
- 00:33:25,803 --> 00:33:27,177
- of any sort.
- 429
- 00:33:27,179 --> 00:33:29,765
- Yeah, yeah, lame-o.
- 430
- 00:34:05,461 --> 00:34:06,460
- Shit.
- 431
- 00:34:07,713 --> 00:34:09,129
- What the fuck?
- 432
- 00:34:09,131 --> 00:34:09,965
- Jimmy.
- 433
- 00:34:13,969 --> 00:34:15,178
- What the fuck?
- 434
- 00:34:40,657 --> 00:34:42,825
- You can have it.
- 435
- 00:34:54,170 --> 00:34:55,500
- Stop.
- 436
- 00:34:55,502 --> 00:34:57,335
- Get away from me.
- 437
- 00:34:57,337 --> 00:34:58,214
- No!
- 438
- 00:35:16,437 --> 00:35:17,271
- Oh no!
- 439
- 00:35:26,278 --> 00:35:29,698
- No, don't.
- 440
- 00:36:14,902 --> 00:36:15,736
- Lights.
- 441
- 00:36:19,407 --> 00:36:22,075
- Way to listen, husband of mine.
- 442
- 00:36:26,121 --> 00:36:26,996
- Who is it?
- 443
- 00:36:28,998 --> 00:36:30,830
- Trick or treat.
- 444
- 00:36:30,832 --> 00:36:33,290
- Sorry, we
- don't have any candy.
- 445
- 00:36:33,292 --> 00:36:35,084
- Maybe next year.
- 446
- 00:37:02,608 --> 00:37:04,526
- Jesus!
- 447
- 00:37:04,528 --> 00:37:05,776
- Sorry.
- 448
- 00:37:05,778 --> 00:37:07,444
- What the hell are
- you doing out here?
- 449
- 00:37:07,446 --> 00:37:09,447
- Disappointing children,
- that's what I'm doing.
- 450
- 00:37:09,449 --> 00:37:10,656
- Huh?
- 451
- 00:37:10,658 --> 00:37:12,490
- Somebody knocked on the door.
- 452
- 00:37:12,492 --> 00:37:14,158
- You left the light
- on the stairs on.
- 453
- 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,953
- It doubles as a homing beacon
- for candy-seeking munchkins.
- 454
- 00:37:17,955 --> 00:37:19,371
- Well, what did
- you expect me to do,
- 455
- 00:37:19,373 --> 00:37:22,708
- stumble blindly up the stairs,
- trip and fall to my death.
- 456
- 00:37:22,710 --> 00:37:25,292
- Go back inside, scrubs,
- it's cold out here.
- 457
- 00:37:25,294 --> 00:37:26,209
- Why don't you wear a cardigan?
- 458
- 00:37:26,211 --> 00:37:27,838
- Yeah, a cardigan.
- 459
- 00:37:52,734 --> 00:37:54,319
- Oh, my Life Alert.
- 460
- 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,405
- Please don't fail me now.
- 461
- 00:38:14,668 --> 00:38:15,670
- Look at you.
- 462
- 00:38:18,005 --> 00:38:18,838
- Hello.
- 463
- 00:38:38,188 --> 00:38:41,691
- The perfect mate.
- 464
- 00:38:43,359 --> 00:38:46,529
- Smiley face, smiley
- face, smiley face.
- 465
- 00:38:56,870 --> 00:38:59,205
- You missed me, didn't you?
- 466
- 00:38:59,207 --> 00:39:00,205
- Didn't you?
- 467
- 00:39:58,756 --> 00:40:00,757
- Trick or treat.
- 468
- 00:40:01,924 --> 00:40:04,259
- Don't you know,
- I'm not allowed
- 469
- 00:40:04,261 --> 00:40:07,010
- to celebrate Halloween anymore?
- 470
- 00:40:07,012 --> 00:40:08,096
- Not legally.
- 471
- 00:40:09,599 --> 00:40:12,601
- Ultra totalitarianism
- at its finest.
- 472
- 00:40:16,270 --> 00:40:17,103
- Yeah.
- 473
- 00:40:17,105 --> 00:40:18,270
- Who the hell is it?
- 474
- 00:40:18,272 --> 00:40:19,604
- Fucking
- cunt, open the door.
- 475
- 00:40:19,606 --> 00:40:20,939
- What the fuck.
- 476
- 00:40:20,941 --> 00:40:22,149
- Open the door,
- open the door let us in,
- 477
- 00:40:22,151 --> 00:40:24,360
- let us in, trick or treat.
- 478
- 00:40:52,968 --> 00:40:54,302
- Trick or treat.
- 479
- 00:41:03,977 --> 00:41:07,353
- I don't know who
- the fuck you are,
- 480
- 00:41:07,355 --> 00:41:11,065
- but when I find you, I'm
- gonna rip your fucking heart
- 481
- 00:41:11,067 --> 00:41:13,318
- out of your fucking chest.
- 482
- 00:41:28,665 --> 00:41:29,499
- Come on.
- 483
- 00:41:32,333 --> 00:41:33,501
- What the fuck?
- 484
- 00:41:37,504 --> 00:41:38,506
- Very funny.
- 485
- 00:41:39,841 --> 00:41:42,381
- I used to pull that fucking
- shit when I was a kid.
- 486
- 00:41:42,383 --> 00:41:45,679
- But, the best trick
- is when you take...
- 487
- 00:41:50,850 --> 00:41:52,518
- What, what the fuck?
- 488
- 00:41:54,519 --> 00:41:57,352
- How 'bout a
- little fire, Scarecrow?
- 489
- 00:41:57,354 --> 00:41:58,354
- You're a fucking psycho.
- 490
- 00:42:05,029 --> 00:42:06,694
- You're fucking hilarious.
- 491
- 00:42:06,696 --> 00:42:09,531
- Now, get the fuck
- out of my house.
- 492
- 00:42:12,534 --> 00:42:15,954
- Or, on second thought,
- maybe stick around
- 493
- 00:42:17,121 --> 00:42:18,872
- and maybe we can see
- 494
- 00:42:19,707 --> 00:42:21,372
- what's under this mask.
- 495
- 00:42:24,710 --> 00:42:26,378
- Bend, bend.
- 496
- 00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:33,799
- Silly rabbit.
- 497
- 00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:35,553
- Tricks are for kids.
- 498
- 00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:39,930
- All right, lock all
- the doors and windows
- 499
- 00:42:39,932 --> 00:42:41,890
- and all that jazz.
- 500
- 00:42:41,892 --> 00:42:44,308
- See, you in the morning.
- 501
- 00:42:44,310 --> 00:42:45,893
- You look pensive.
- 502
- 00:42:45,895 --> 00:42:47,103
- I am pensive.
- 503
- 00:42:47,105 --> 00:42:49,229
- Why are you pensive?
- 504
- 00:42:49,231 --> 00:42:52,483
- I'm just a little
- freaked out, Robert.
- 505
- 00:42:52,485 --> 00:42:53,401
- Why?
- 506
- 00:42:54,569 --> 00:42:56,152
- I don't know.
- 507
- 00:42:56,154 --> 00:42:59,447
- I'm going to be home
- alone, in a new house,
- 508
- 00:42:59,449 --> 00:43:03,575
- in a new town, on Halloween
- and you're going to work.
- 509
- 00:43:03,577 --> 00:43:06,159
- That's why I told you to
- lock all the doors and windows.
- 510
- 00:43:06,161 --> 00:43:07,827
- We live next
- door to a pedophile.
- 511
- 00:43:07,829 --> 00:43:10,998
- Well, you're no
- his type, obviously.
- 512
- 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,082
- Is that funny?
- 513
- 00:43:12,084 --> 00:43:13,165
- It's a little funny.
- 514
- 00:43:13,167 --> 00:43:15,834
- It's not funny at all.
- 515
- 00:43:15,836 --> 00:43:19,921
- Look, nothing is
- going to happen, okay?
- 516
- 00:43:19,923 --> 00:43:22,423
- Today you were so mad at
- me because I opened my mouth
- 517
- 00:43:22,425 --> 00:43:25,009
- and that nasty guy heard
- me and now you're saying
- 518
- 00:43:25,011 --> 00:43:26,761
- everything is gonna be okay.
- 519
- 00:43:26,763 --> 00:43:29,263
- The hospital's a
- couple miles away.
- 520
- 00:43:29,265 --> 00:43:31,097
- I have my phone on me and
- if there's an emergency,
- 521
- 00:43:31,099 --> 00:43:33,974
- I can be home in
- 10 seconds flat.
- 522
- 00:43:33,976 --> 00:43:37,104
- Fine, but it's
- not 10 seconds flat.
- 523
- 00:43:39,272 --> 00:43:42,358
- Fine, it's totally
- 10 seconds flat.
- 524
- 00:43:44,945 --> 00:43:46,443
- Fine.
- 525
- 00:43:46,445 --> 00:43:47,947
- Happy Halloween.
- 526
- 00:43:52,618 --> 00:43:53,786
- I hate you.
- 527
- 00:43:54,660 --> 00:43:56,204
- I love you, too.
- 528
- 00:44:22,977 --> 00:44:25,519
- It's too late, shop's closed.
- 529
- 00:44:31,149 --> 00:44:33,817
- There is no more candy.
- 530
- 00:44:33,819 --> 00:44:35,902
- Come back next year.
- 531
- 00:44:35,904 --> 00:44:37,155
- Little cretins.
- 532
- 00:45:07,764 --> 00:45:11,222
- What the fuck are you
- doing in my house?
- 533
- 00:45:11,224 --> 00:45:13,602
- Get the fuck outta my house.
- 534
- 00:45:33,242 --> 00:45:35,619
- You poor bastard.
- 535
- 00:45:35,621 --> 00:45:37,619
- Great night to have your first.
- 536
- 00:45:37,621 --> 00:45:39,371
- You're telling me.
- 537
- 00:45:39,373 --> 00:45:40,580
- If I have to pump
- anymore charcoal tonight,
- 538
- 00:45:40,582 --> 00:45:42,247
- I swear to God,
- I'm gonna lose it.
- 539
- 00:45:51,092 --> 00:45:52,382
- Is there any coffee
- in this place?
- 540
- 00:45:52,384 --> 00:45:54,968
- Um, you know, I would
- check in the break room
- 541
- 00:45:54,970 --> 00:45:56,551
- where coffee usually lives.
- 542
- 00:45:56,553 --> 00:45:57,386
- All right.
- 543
- 00:45:57,388 --> 00:45:58,303
- Yeah, yeah.
- 544
- 00:45:58,305 --> 00:45:59,887
- What's your name by the way.
- 545
- 00:45:59,889 --> 00:46:00,889
- Robert.
- 546
- 00:46:00,891 --> 00:46:01,764
- Macy.
- 547
- 00:46:01,766 --> 00:46:02,891
- Good luck.
- 548
- 00:46:02,893 --> 00:46:03,769
- Thanks.
- 549
- 00:46:43,676 --> 00:46:45,259
- Hey Mom.
- 550
- 00:46:45,261 --> 00:46:47,011
- Happy Halloween, honey.
- 551
- 00:46:47,013 --> 00:46:49,097
- Yeah, Happy Halloween.
- 552
- 00:46:51,599 --> 00:46:52,765
- Where are you?
- 553
- 00:46:52,767 --> 00:46:55,018
- Your father
- and I are at a party.
- 554
- 00:46:55,020 --> 00:46:56,101
- So, you're smashed.
- 555
- 00:46:56,103 --> 00:46:57,603
- I'm not smashed.
- 556
- 00:46:57,605 --> 00:46:58,771
- I am your mother.
- 557
- 00:46:58,773 --> 00:47:00,272
- I most assuredly do not...
- 558
- 00:47:00,274 --> 00:47:03,607
- You're my mother, so you
- most assuredly are smashed.
- 559
- 00:47:03,609 --> 00:47:05,109
- I resent that.
- 560
- 00:47:05,111 --> 00:47:07,945
- To what do I owe the honor
- of this telephonic reach out?
- 561
- 00:47:07,947 --> 00:47:10,114
- Just saying hi
- and Happy Halloween.
- 562
- 00:47:10,116 --> 00:47:12,656
- Well, hi and Happy Halloween.
- 563
- 00:47:12,658 --> 00:47:14,283
- Am I annoying you?
- 564
- 00:47:14,285 --> 00:47:16,620
- No, no you're not.
- 565
- 00:47:16,622 --> 00:47:18,287
- You sound distant.
- 566
- 00:47:18,289 --> 00:47:21,624
- I'm just watching a
- movie and unpacking.
- 567
- 00:47:21,626 --> 00:47:22,458
- Oh, yeah?
- 568
- 00:47:22,460 --> 00:47:24,125
- How is that going?
- 569
- 00:47:24,127 --> 00:47:25,460
- Fantastic.
- 570
- 00:47:28,547 --> 00:47:30,881
- Can I call you later?
- 571
- 00:47:30,883 --> 00:47:32,298
- There's somebody at the door.
- 572
- 00:47:32,300 --> 00:47:33,466
- Of course there is.
- 573
- 00:47:33,468 --> 00:47:34,843
- It's Halloween.
- 574
- 00:47:34,845 --> 00:47:38,721
- I know, but I'm not really
- celebrating this year.
- 575
- 00:47:38,723 --> 00:47:39,971
- Can I call you back?
- 576
- 00:47:39,973 --> 00:47:41,473
- Are you actually
- gonna call me back?
- 577
- 00:47:41,475 --> 00:47:42,475
- Yes, bye.
- 578
- 00:48:00,199 --> 00:48:01,075
- Wow, God.
- 579
- 00:48:01,991 --> 00:48:04,909
- When I was a kid, I took a hint.
- 580
- 00:48:06,578 --> 00:48:07,497
- Fuck this.
- 581
- 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:09,916
- Who is it?
- 582
- 00:48:13,501 --> 00:48:14,668
- Trick or treat.
- 583
- 00:48:20,674 --> 00:48:23,676
- Look, I don't have any candy.
- 584
- 00:48:23,678 --> 00:48:25,175
- I don't have treats of any kind.
- 585
- 00:48:25,177 --> 00:48:29,680
- No pennies, no rotten apples,
- no razor blades, nothing.
- 586
- 00:48:29,682 --> 00:48:32,683
- Like, come back next year.
- 587
- 00:48:32,685 --> 00:48:33,518
- Sorry.
- 588
- 00:48:42,192 --> 00:48:43,860
- Did you not hear me?
- 589
- 00:48:48,030 --> 00:48:48,906
- Go away.
- 590
- 00:49:59,591 --> 00:50:02,423
- Hello, you've
- reached Robert's cell.
- 591
- 00:50:02,425 --> 00:50:07,093
- Leave a message at the tone
- or at the beep or whatever.
- 592
- 00:50:07,095 --> 00:50:08,931
- I'm, this is terrible.
- 593
- 00:50:09,765 --> 00:50:11,098
- Please leave a message.
- 594
- 00:50:11,100 --> 00:50:11,972
- Thanks for the effort.
- 595
- 00:50:12,809 --> 00:50:14,019
- Hi, it's me.
- 596
- 00:50:17,606 --> 00:50:19,187
- I know it's your
- first day of work.
- 597
- 00:50:19,189 --> 00:50:20,774
- I understand that.
- 598
- 00:50:23,444 --> 00:50:24,778
- But, I'm scared.
- 599
- 00:50:26,528 --> 00:50:30,447
- If you could just do me a
- favor and give me a call back
- 600
- 00:50:30,449 --> 00:50:32,616
- when you get a chance.
- 601
- 00:50:32,618 --> 00:50:37,452
- One of those calming, there's
- nothing to be afraid of,
- 602
- 00:50:37,454 --> 00:50:38,872
- reassuring calls.
- 603
- 00:50:40,832 --> 00:50:42,708
- I could really use it.
- 604
- 00:50:44,670 --> 00:50:45,628
- I love you.
- 605
- 00:51:00,807 --> 00:51:02,850
- You're going crazy, Ella.
- 606
- 00:51:04,979 --> 00:51:06,521
- You're going crazy.
- 607
- 00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:26,413
- You're going fucking crazy.
- 608
- 00:51:54,852 --> 00:51:55,729
- Is that it?
- 609
- 00:51:57,187 --> 00:51:58,562
- Is that all you got?
- 610
- 00:52:07,779 --> 00:52:08,698
- Hello.
- 611
- 00:52:12,700 --> 00:52:13,911
- Who's in here?
- 612
- 00:54:16,304 --> 00:54:17,138
- Fuck!
- 613
- 00:54:25,352 --> 00:54:26,229
- Stop it!
- 614
- 00:55:23,193 --> 00:55:24,026
- Oh fuck!
- 615
- 00:55:25,237 --> 00:55:26,694
- Fuck!
- 616
- 00:55:42,042 --> 00:55:43,207
- Who the fuck are you?
- 617
- 00:55:43,209 --> 00:55:46,379
- Why the fuck are you
- doing this to me?
- 618
- 00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:53,094
- Trick or
- treat.
- 619
- 00:56:17,904 --> 00:56:20,240
- I can hear you breathing.
- 620
- 00:56:32,125 --> 00:56:36,336
- Trick or
- treat.
- 621
- 00:56:45,177 --> 00:56:47,636
- Your emergency
- call is now being dialed.
- 622
- 00:56:47,638 --> 00:56:50,638
- Please stand by.
- 623
- 00:56:53,102 --> 00:56:54,267
- Clear the area.
- 624
- 00:56:54,269 --> 00:56:55,851
- Clear the room.
- 625
- 00:56:55,853 --> 00:56:58,604
- Multiple stab wounds.
- 626
- 00:56:59,439 --> 00:57:00,272
- Hold on.
- 627
- 00:57:00,274 --> 00:57:02,107
- Get an IV started.
- 628
- 00:57:17,287 --> 00:57:19,120
- I gotta call my wife.
- 629
- 00:57:19,122 --> 00:57:21,499
- Where are you going?
- 630
- 00:57:44,352 --> 00:57:46,479
- Come on, Ella, pick up.
- 631
- 00:57:47,813 --> 00:57:48,689
- Come on.
- 632
- 00:57:50,733 --> 00:57:52,485
- Clear your voicemail.
- 633
- 00:58:02,659 --> 00:58:05,201
- Hey, what happened?
- 634
- 00:58:05,203 --> 00:58:06,034
- I'm sorry.
- 635
- 00:58:06,036 --> 00:58:07,494
- I know that guy.
- 636
- 00:58:07,496 --> 00:58:10,163
- Yeah, we all know that guy.
- 637
- 00:58:10,165 --> 00:58:12,832
- He lives across
- the street from us.
- 638
- 00:58:12,834 --> 00:58:15,334
- He scared my wife and I
- just got a message from her
- 639
- 00:58:15,336 --> 00:58:17,335
- saying she was scared.
- 640
- 00:58:17,337 --> 00:58:20,089
- Oh, she's scared
- on Halloween night.
- 641
- 00:58:20,091 --> 00:58:21,342
- How surprising.
- 642
- 00:58:22,717 --> 00:58:24,216
- Look, I thought your
- sarcasm was funny before,
- 643
- 00:58:24,218 --> 00:58:26,176
- and believe me, I'm the
- reigning king of sarcasm,
- 644
- 00:58:26,178 --> 00:58:29,179
- but right now, it's not helping.
- 645
- 00:58:29,181 --> 00:58:31,597
- Look, did you see the
- thing around his throat?
- 646
- 00:58:31,599 --> 00:58:33,058
- What?
- 647
- 00:58:33,060 --> 00:58:35,183
- The thing that looks
- like a garage door opener.
- 648
- 00:58:35,185 --> 00:58:36,185
- Yeah.
- 649
- 00:58:36,187 --> 00:58:37,060
- It's called Life Alert.
- 650
- 00:58:37,062 --> 00:58:38,937
- Geriatrics usually wear it.
- 651
- 00:58:38,939 --> 00:58:41,022
- If they fall and break a
- hip, they can press a button
- 652
- 00:58:41,024 --> 00:58:44,358
- that alerts us to
- come help them.
- 653
- 00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:46,862
- Sometimes people who get
- themselves in a lot of trouble
- 654
- 00:58:46,864 --> 00:58:48,571
- wear them as well.
- 655
- 00:58:48,573 --> 00:58:49,737
- Like Samuel.
- 656
- 00:58:49,739 --> 00:58:51,239
- Trying to calm me down?
- 657
- 00:58:51,241 --> 00:58:56,035
- I'm trying to
- get you to think rationally.
- 658
- 00:58:56,037 --> 00:58:59,705
- The law of probability says
- that, yes, your wife's scared.
- 659
- 00:58:59,707 --> 00:59:02,373
- She's home alone,
- but she's not cut up
- 660
- 00:59:02,375 --> 00:59:04,083
- into a million pieces.
- 661
- 00:59:13,719 --> 00:59:17,886
- At home, shit like this
- would happen all the time.
- 662
- 00:59:17,888 --> 00:59:19,972
- Thought moving here,
- getting out of L.A.
- 663
- 00:59:19,974 --> 00:59:22,392
- would make it easier, but...
- 664
- 00:59:24,811 --> 00:59:26,229
- We lost a child.
- 665
- 00:59:30,064 --> 00:59:31,482
- We were so happy.
- 666
- 00:59:33,736 --> 00:59:36,570
- Freshly married,
- freshly parents.
- 667
- 00:59:39,239 --> 00:59:43,117
- The most beautiful baby
- girl you've ever seen.
- 668
- 00:59:43,952 --> 00:59:45,578
- She wasn't healthy.
- 669
- 00:59:48,164 --> 00:59:52,418
- We didn't know until one
- morning she wasn't breathing.
- 670
- 00:59:55,337 --> 00:59:57,756
- She had passed in the night.
- 671
- 00:59:59,088 --> 01:00:00,421
- What was her name?
- 672
- 01:00:00,423 --> 01:00:01,300
- Melissa.
- 673
- 01:00:22,275 --> 01:00:23,151
- Fuck it.
- 674
- 01:00:40,457 --> 01:00:43,125
- Can you talk to me for a second?
- 675
- 01:00:47,296 --> 01:00:48,464
- Are you there?
- 676
- 01:00:51,843 --> 01:00:53,131
- Oh God damn it.
- 677
- 01:00:53,133 --> 01:00:56,054
- If you're there
- can you just knock?
- 678
- 01:01:14,069 --> 01:01:17,155
- Okay, all right,
- thank you for that.
- 679
- 01:01:22,868 --> 01:01:24,661
- What did I do to you?
- 680
- 01:01:26,036 --> 01:01:27,997
- Why are you doing this?
- 681
- 01:01:33,002 --> 01:01:37,046
- Can you just answer those
- two questions, please?
- 682
- 01:01:39,382 --> 01:01:41,424
- Don't I deserve to know?
- 683
- 01:01:48,014 --> 01:01:48,847
- Okay.
- 684
- 01:01:52,559 --> 01:01:55,187
- Well, if I'm going to die here,
- 685
- 01:01:57,105 --> 01:01:59,857
- which it seems
- like I'm going to.
- 686
- 01:02:01,901 --> 01:02:04,778
- You're gonna kill
- me, both of you.
- 687
- 01:02:11,033 --> 01:02:15,204
- If that's the case, can you
- just answer me one question?
- 688
- 01:02:17,246 --> 01:02:20,958
- Not why you're here or
- what did I do to you?
- 689
- 01:02:23,459 --> 01:02:25,753
- But, just another question?
- 690
- 01:02:34,552 --> 01:02:35,761
- Okay.
- 691
- 01:02:38,890 --> 01:02:40,433
- How old are you?
- 692
- 01:02:43,393 --> 01:02:45,101
- How old are both of you?
- 693
- 01:02:45,103 --> 01:02:46,394
- Five.
- 694
- 01:02:46,396 --> 01:02:47,228
- Seven.
- 695
- 01:02:47,230 --> 01:02:48,228
- 32.
- 696
- 01:02:48,230 --> 01:02:49,395
- 56.
- 697
- 01:02:49,397 --> 01:02:50,397
- 13.
- 698
- 01:02:50,399 --> 01:02:52,065
- 46.
- 699
- 01:02:52,067 --> 01:02:53,106
- 34.
- 700
- 01:02:53,108 --> 01:02:54,566
- 600.
- 701
- 01:02:54,568 --> 01:02:55,401
- 16.
- 702
- 01:02:55,403 --> 01:02:57,111
- 40.
- 703
- 01:02:57,113 --> 01:02:58,320
- 142.
- 704
- 01:02:58,322 --> 01:02:59,904
- 147.
- 705
- 01:02:59,906 --> 01:03:00,949
- 67.
- 706
- 01:03:02,076 --> 01:03:03,616
- Two.
- 707
- 01:03:03,618 --> 01:03:05,325
- 101.
- 708
- 01:03:05,327 --> 01:03:06,160
- Four.
- 709
- 01:03:06,162 --> 01:03:08,079
- 100.
- 710
- 01:03:08,081 --> 01:03:09,164
- 100.
- 711
- 01:03:11,415 --> 01:03:12,833
- 14.
- 712
- 01:03:12,835 --> 01:03:13,918
- 14.
- 713
- 01:03:29,013 --> 01:03:33,100
- She was our world
- for that short time.
- 714
- 01:03:33,102 --> 01:03:35,769
- My wife, Ella, it hit her hard.
- 715
- 01:03:38,438 --> 01:03:40,106
- I mean, it hit me hard,
- 716
- 01:03:40,108 --> 01:03:42,860
- but I didn't wanna
- lose her, too.
- 717
- 01:03:45,611 --> 01:03:47,278
- You know that happens so often.
- 718
- 01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:52,157
- You lose a child and then
- your marriage falls apart.
- 719
- 01:03:52,159 --> 01:03:56,370
- Better worse, in all honesty,
- but I couldn't lose her,
- 720
- 01:03:58,498 --> 01:03:59,790
- I just couldn't.
- 721
- 01:04:01,624 --> 01:04:03,624
- Losing my daughter destroyed me,
- 722
- 01:04:03,626 --> 01:04:05,544
- but I had to be strong.
- 723
- 01:04:07,630 --> 01:04:09,340
- I have to be strong.
- 724
- 01:04:11,633 --> 01:04:14,133
- My wife, she's a teacher.
- 725
- 01:04:14,135 --> 01:04:15,470
- She loves kids.
- 726
- 01:04:16,555 --> 01:04:20,306
- She was so happy when
- Melissa was born.
- 727
- 01:04:20,308 --> 01:04:23,308
- And, I mean, it was a
- hellish labor process too.
- 728
- 01:04:23,310 --> 01:04:27,479
- But, she seemed to
- revel in it, you know.
- 729
- 01:04:27,481 --> 01:04:31,233
- As if she could see
- with, as if she could see
- 730
- 01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:36,152
- in her heart what was at
- the end of the rainbow.
- 731
- 01:04:36,154 --> 01:04:39,237
- This perfect amalgamation
- of her and I.
- 732
- 01:04:39,239 --> 01:04:40,158
- Our child.
- 733
- 01:04:44,202 --> 01:04:46,662
- I don't know how she does it.
- 734
- 01:04:47,830 --> 01:04:50,080
- She's got a job at the
- local middle school.
- 735
- 01:04:50,082 --> 01:04:52,876
- She's jumping back
- on the saddle.
- 736
- 01:04:55,586 --> 01:04:58,340
- I can't imagine
- what that's like.
- 737
- 01:04:59,839 --> 01:05:03,426
- Being a mother for so
- short a time and then
- 738
- 01:05:04,552 --> 01:05:07,847
- having to be around
- kids five days a week.
- 739
- 01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:10,224
- I just don't know.
- 740
- 01:05:13,351 --> 01:05:15,018
- I like you, Robert.
- 741
- 01:05:15,020 --> 01:05:17,185
- I'm glad you're here.
- 742
- 01:05:17,187 --> 01:05:18,604
- And, I hate everyone.
- 743
- 01:05:19,856 --> 01:05:23,358
- I hate the doctors,
- the nursing staff.
- 744
- 01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:26,195
- Actually, I hate
- the entire town.
- 745
- 01:05:27,905 --> 01:05:30,115
- Everyone's just so boring.
- 746
- 01:05:31,575 --> 01:05:34,869
- Yeah, can
- tell that already.
- 747
- 01:05:35,954 --> 01:05:38,287
- Go be with your wife.
- 748
- 01:05:38,289 --> 01:05:42,373
- No, you're right,
- it's probably nothing.
- 749
- 01:05:42,375 --> 01:05:44,083
- Go home to your wife.
- 750
- 01:05:44,085 --> 01:05:46,460
- I'll cover for you.
- 751
- 01:05:46,462 --> 01:05:48,753
- It's still Halloween.
- 752
- 01:05:48,755 --> 01:05:51,048
- It's far past
- Halloween at this point.
- 753
- 01:05:51,050 --> 01:05:52,552
- Technicalities.
- 754
- 01:05:58,805 --> 01:06:00,265
- Happy Halloween.
- 755
- 01:06:01,724 --> 01:06:02,559
- Thank you.
- 756
- 01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:43,943
- Honey, I'm home.
- 757
- 01:08:47,447 --> 01:08:48,364
- Ella.
- 758
- 01:08:54,536 --> 01:08:56,037
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- 759
- 01:08:58,748 --> 01:08:59,540
- Oh my God.
- 760
- 01:09:01,124 --> 01:09:02,041
- Ella!
- 761
- 01:09:14,636 --> 01:09:16,054
- Where's my wife?
- 762
- 01:09:19,557 --> 01:09:20,892
- Where's my wife?
- 763
- 01:10:48,130 --> 01:10:49,464
- Just kill me.
- 764
- 01:10:55,220 --> 01:10:57,638
- That's what you want, right?
- 765
- 01:11:00,808 --> 01:11:03,474
- That's why you're doing this,
- 766
- 01:11:03,476 --> 01:11:06,312
- because I didn't
- answer the door.
- 767
- 01:11:07,897 --> 01:11:11,483
- Because I didn't give
- you a fucking treat.
- 768
- 01:11:15,821 --> 01:11:18,156
- And, so you kill my husband.
- 769
- 01:11:24,661 --> 01:11:25,828
- Just kill me.
- 770
- 01:11:33,669 --> 01:11:34,501
- Wait.
- 771
- 01:13:56,620 --> 01:13:59,662
- Uh, I fucking hate Halloween.
- 772
- 01:13:59,664 --> 01:14:03,625
- I told you being a sexy
- was a stupid idea.
- 773
- 01:14:03,627 --> 01:14:05,295
- I look ugly and fat.
- 774
- 01:14:06,962 --> 01:14:09,714
- Nothing good ever happens
- on Halloween ever.
- 775
- 01:14:09,716 --> 01:14:13,299
- In fact, mostly bad things
- happen on Halloween.
- 776
- 01:14:13,301 --> 01:14:16,342
- I'm so fat, I just
- wanna eat chocolate.
- 777
- 01:14:16,344 --> 01:14:17,302
- But, I can't have any chocolate
- 778
- 01:14:17,304 --> 01:14:18,804
- because then I'll get fatter.
- 779
- 01:14:18,806 --> 01:14:22,808
- Wait, you don't
- know what happened here?
- 780
- 01:14:27,356 --> 01:14:28,312
- Here?
- 781
- 01:14:28,314 --> 01:14:29,648
- Like here, here?
- 782
- 01:14:30,483 --> 01:14:32,150
- She doesn't know.
- 783
- 01:14:33,069 --> 01:14:35,817
- Wait, something happened here.
- 784
- 01:14:35,819 --> 01:14:38,071
- And I assume whatever
- the something is,
- 785
- 01:14:38,073 --> 01:14:39,532
- is something bad.
- 786
- 01:14:40,741 --> 01:14:42,574
- Something happened
- here and neither of you
- 787
- 01:14:42,576 --> 01:14:45,159
- until this moment have
- felt the need to tell me?
- 788
- 01:14:45,161 --> 01:14:47,578
- Well, count us as
- shitty friends then.
- 789
- 01:14:47,580 --> 01:14:51,164
- But, is Halloween night, so I
- guess we should tell you now.
- 790
- 01:14:51,166 --> 01:14:53,332
- That's great, tell her now.
- 791
- 01:14:53,334 --> 01:14:54,751
- I hate you guys.
- 792
- 01:14:54,753 --> 01:14:56,169
- I would say stop if
- you've heard this before,
- 793
- 01:14:56,171 --> 01:14:57,754
- but we've already
- established that you haven't,
- 794
- 01:14:57,756 --> 01:14:59,504
- so I'm just gonna run my mouth.
- 795
- 01:14:59,506 --> 01:15:02,342
- Run it, run it,
- run it, run it.
- 796
- 01:15:03,677 --> 01:15:06,218
- Okay, I get to
- tell a ghost story.
- 797
- 01:15:06,220 --> 01:15:07,429
- I am so amped.
- 798
- 01:15:15,187 --> 01:15:16,351
- It was Halloween night.
- 799
- 01:15:18,064 --> 01:15:19,020
- What?
- 800
- 01:15:19,022 --> 01:15:21,357
- Shut up, I'm having fun.
- 801
- 01:15:21,359 --> 01:15:23,023
- You guys are
- literally the worst.
- 802
- 01:15:23,025 --> 01:15:25,192
- Go on, I'll be a good girl.
- 803
- 01:15:25,194 --> 01:15:26,570
- Thank you cuz.
- 804
- 01:15:28,698 --> 01:15:30,364
- It was Halloween night.
- 805
- 01:15:30,366 --> 01:15:31,906
- 15 years ago.
- 806
- 01:15:31,908 --> 01:15:32,907
- Was it?
- 807
- 01:15:32,909 --> 01:15:34,283
- Doesn't seem like that long ago.
- 808
- 01:15:34,285 --> 01:15:35,534
- It was forever ago.
- 809
- 01:15:35,536 --> 01:15:37,203
- Well, the first part was.
- 810
- 01:15:37,205 --> 01:15:38,245
- The second
- part was last year.
- 811
- 01:15:38,247 --> 01:15:39,247
- Guys.
- 812
- 01:15:39,249 --> 01:15:40,374
- Okay, okay.
- 813
- 01:15:41,749 --> 01:15:44,126
- It was Halloween night
- and there was this woman.
- 814
- 01:15:44,128 --> 01:15:46,710
- She was knocked up
- to hell and back.
- 815
- 01:15:46,712 --> 01:15:48,920
- Oh my God, like you!
- 816
- 01:15:48,922 --> 01:15:52,049
- There are no words for
- how annoyed I'm getting.
- 817
- 01:15:52,051 --> 01:15:53,883
- Well, this pregnant bitch...
- 818
- 01:15:53,885 --> 01:15:55,259
- Why do you have to be so ugly?
- 819
- 01:15:55,261 --> 01:15:57,137
- Fine, pregnant broad.
- 820
- 01:15:57,139 --> 01:15:58,221
- Thank you.
- 821
- 01:16:00,558 --> 01:16:02,432
- This pregnant
- broad, she was dating
- 822
- 01:16:02,434 --> 01:16:04,559
- this total piece of shit.
- 823
- 01:16:04,561 --> 01:16:06,144
- You guys remember
- my cousin Trish?
- 824
- 01:16:06,146 --> 01:16:07,561
- Who doesn't know Trish?
- 825
- 01:16:07,563 --> 01:16:09,939
- Every throbbing cock
- in town knows Trish.
- 826
- 01:16:09,941 --> 01:16:11,064
- Yeah, yeah.
- 827
- 01:16:11,066 --> 01:16:11,900
- Go on.
- 828
- 01:16:13,235 --> 01:16:17,071
- This Katy dude, my cousin
- Trish, she knows him.
- 829
- 01:16:19,073 --> 01:16:21,743
- Well, knew him, for that matter.
- 830
- 01:16:23,076 --> 01:16:24,993
- He used to frequent
- Barney's, that piece of shit
- 831
- 01:16:24,995 --> 01:16:28,453
- along the wall, pseudo
- dive bar at the.
- 832
- 01:16:28,455 --> 01:16:31,164
- And, this happened
- when she sees the dude,
- 833
- 01:16:31,166 --> 01:16:33,084
- well he knocked her up.
- 834
- 01:16:34,585 --> 01:16:38,255
- But, this chick, well, he was
- abusive, total piece of shit.
- 835
- 01:16:40,008 --> 01:16:44,593
- Verbal meets physical and
- this grand perfect storm
- 836
- 01:16:44,595 --> 01:16:46,429
- of fuck you machismo.
- 837
- 01:16:48,805 --> 01:16:52,433
- Well she gets wise and
- she leaves the dude.
- 838
- 01:16:53,809 --> 01:16:57,686
- But, she's already attached
- to this burgeoning vermin
- 839
- 01:16:57,688 --> 01:16:58,520
- inside of her.
- 840
- 01:16:58,522 --> 01:16:59,771
- Like she's so excited.
- 841
- 01:16:59,773 --> 01:17:02,440
- She always wanted
- to be a mother.
- 842
- 01:17:02,442 --> 01:17:06,109
- Forget the sperm sprayer who
- put the two kids inside of her.
- 843
- 01:17:06,111 --> 01:17:08,112
- Wait, twins?
- 844
- 01:17:12,033 --> 01:17:14,867
- You are the worst
- storyteller ever.
- 845
- 01:17:14,869 --> 01:17:16,619
- Fuck and you.
- 846
- 01:17:16,621 --> 01:17:17,619
- What do you mean?
- 847
- 01:17:17,621 --> 01:17:19,120
- I am a great storyteller.
- 848
- 01:17:19,122 --> 01:17:20,455
- No you're not.
- 849
- 01:17:20,457 --> 01:17:23,624
- Spoiler alert, that
- the kids are twins.
- 850
- 01:17:23,626 --> 01:17:25,543
- You might as well just
- tell the audience...
- 851
- 01:17:25,545 --> 01:17:29,296
- Okay, guys, I'm kinda freaked
- out by this whole thing.
- 852
- 01:17:29,298 --> 01:17:32,341
- Apparently something horrible
- happened in the house
- 853
- 01:17:32,343 --> 01:17:36,219
- in which I dwell and
- my two best friends
- 854
- 01:17:36,221 --> 01:17:39,805
- decided not to tell me
- until I moved my ass in.
- 855
- 01:17:39,807 --> 01:17:43,057
- So, if you could finish the
- rest of the story, please.
- 856
- 01:17:43,059 --> 01:17:44,809
- They were twins.
- 857
- 01:17:44,811 --> 01:17:45,645
- Are.
- 858
- 01:17:46,813 --> 01:17:49,396
- Who's ruining the
- story now, bitch?
- 859
- 01:17:49,398 --> 01:17:52,023
- Sorry, go on.
- 860
- 01:17:52,025 --> 01:17:54,818
- This skeezy dude, he's
- spurned because she dropped
- 861
- 01:17:54,820 --> 01:17:57,153
- the mother fucker
- like a bad habit.
- 862
- 01:17:57,155 --> 01:17:58,487
- Girl power.
- 863
- 01:17:58,489 --> 01:18:00,154
- Well, she started
- dating another buck.
- 864
- 01:18:00,156 --> 01:18:01,033
- Nice guy.
- 865
- 01:18:02,325 --> 01:18:06,494
- But, still on the low proverbial
- end of the higher class.
- 866
- 01:18:06,496 --> 01:18:08,373
- But, still a nice guy.
- 867
- 01:18:09,832 --> 01:18:12,999
- Well, this guy, man,
- he can't take it,
- 868
- 01:18:13,001 --> 01:18:15,209
- her running around
- with this new beau
- 869
- 01:18:15,211 --> 01:18:17,336
- while carrying his kids.
- 870
- 01:18:17,338 --> 01:18:18,921
- No!
- 871
- 01:18:18,923 --> 01:18:19,840
- No, sir.
- 872
- 01:18:22,843 --> 01:18:24,591
- And, one Halloween night.
- 873
- 01:18:24,593 --> 01:18:26,552
- 15 years ago.
- 874
- 01:18:26,554 --> 01:18:27,513
- He snaps.
- 875
- 01:18:30,391 --> 01:18:34,602
- And, he stabs her in the belly
- right here in this kitchen.
- 876
- 01:18:38,689 --> 01:18:40,689
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- 877
- 01:18:40,691 --> 01:18:41,690
- He stabbed her seven times.
- 878
- 01:18:41,692 --> 01:18:42,524
- Six.
- 879
- 01:18:42,526 --> 01:18:43,400
- It was seven.
- 880
- 01:18:43,402 --> 01:18:44,359
- I promise you it was six.
- 881
- 01:18:44,361 --> 01:18:46,027
- I swear to you it was seven.
- 882
- 01:18:46,029 --> 01:18:46,944
- Google.
- 883
- 01:18:46,946 --> 01:18:48,863
- Okay, guys, please.
- 884
- 01:18:48,865 --> 01:18:52,573
- I'm kinda freaked out by
- this whole thing right now.
- 885
- 01:18:52,575 --> 01:18:56,788
- I don't care if it was six
- or seven or 12 or 30 times.
- 886
- 01:18:58,204 --> 01:19:02,540
- A pregnant woman, pregnant,
- got stabbed in my kitchen?
- 887
- 01:19:02,542 --> 01:19:03,875
- Yeah.
- 888
- 01:19:03,877 --> 01:19:06,627
- Okay, never mind you
- worthless slags not telling me,
- 889
- 01:19:06,629 --> 01:19:08,463
- but shouldn't my landlord?
- 890
- 01:19:08,465 --> 01:19:10,380
- I mean, God, this is something
- they're supposed to reveal
- 891
- 01:19:10,382 --> 01:19:11,715
- at some point, right?
- 892
- 01:19:11,717 --> 01:19:14,635
- Well, yes and
- no, but it just depends.
- 893
- 01:19:14,637 --> 01:19:16,635
- That's the end of the story.
- 894
- 01:19:16,637 --> 01:19:17,554
- She dies.
- 895
- 01:19:18,597 --> 01:19:19,930
- I bet.
- 896
- 01:19:19,932 --> 01:19:21,892
- But, the kids didn't.
- 897
- 01:19:23,894 --> 01:19:26,562
- 14 years later, those two girls,
- 898
- 01:19:28,939 --> 01:19:30,650
- those twins of evil,
- 899
- 01:19:32,275 --> 01:19:35,487
- those bad apples
- born out of violence,
- 900
- 01:19:36,403 --> 01:19:38,988
- they took to the streets,
- 901
- 01:19:38,990 --> 01:19:42,239
- one Halloween night years ago.
- 902
- 01:19:42,241 --> 01:19:44,408
- Lord knows why they
- chose that year.
- 903
- 01:19:44,410 --> 01:19:46,077
- You're talking about now.
- 904
- 01:19:46,079 --> 01:19:48,078
- It was the same year
- as you moved to town, no.
- 905
- 01:19:48,080 --> 01:19:51,247
- How did I not know about this?
- 906
- 01:19:51,249 --> 01:19:55,585
- They start going door to
- door knocking arbitrarily.
- 907
- 01:19:55,587 --> 01:19:58,419
- No rhyme, no fucking reason.
- 908
- 01:19:58,421 --> 01:20:00,129
- But, if you weren't celebrating,
- 909
- 01:20:00,131 --> 01:20:03,925
- if you didn't have
- your lights on, oh man,
- 910
- 01:20:03,927 --> 01:20:05,592
- did they have a treat for you.
- 911
- 01:20:05,594 --> 01:20:07,595
- Technically tricks really.
- 912
- 01:20:07,597 --> 01:20:09,764
- They killed a pedophile.
- 913
- 01:20:09,766 --> 01:20:11,264
- You know the one that
- did the little draws kids
- 914
- 01:20:11,266 --> 01:20:12,265
- waiting to the area.
- 915
- 01:20:12,267 --> 01:20:13,934
- Oh, those poor little angels.
- 916
- 01:20:13,936 --> 01:20:16,352
- Good riddance to the
- bad rubbish on that guy.
- 917
- 01:20:16,354 --> 01:20:18,437
- They kill a
- trailer trash broad.
- 918
- 01:20:18,439 --> 01:20:19,691
- Some old chick.
- 919
- 01:20:21,109 --> 01:20:24,820
- But, the really sad one, was
- this teacher gal's husband.
- 920
- 01:20:26,446 --> 01:20:28,654
- They kept her alive to deal with
- 921
- 01:20:28,656 --> 01:20:31,033
- all the pain and the misery.
- 922
- 01:20:32,283 --> 01:20:34,951
- Yeah, I see, I figured
- you were aware of this.
- 923
- 01:20:34,953 --> 01:20:37,287
- This is some really
- fucked up shit.
- 924
- 01:20:37,289 --> 01:20:38,787
- Those two brats,
- they totally cut...
- 925
- 01:20:38,789 --> 01:20:39,623
- No!
- 926
- 01:20:40,708 --> 01:20:41,625
- No.
- 927
- 01:20:42,501 --> 01:20:44,667
- That's the best part.
- 928
- 01:20:44,669 --> 01:20:46,045
- This is my time.
- 929
- 01:20:47,171 --> 01:20:49,296
- Fine, go ahead then.
- 930
- 01:20:49,298 --> 01:20:51,466
- Those two little brats,
- 931
- 01:20:52,800 --> 01:20:54,467
- they carved into his chest
- 932
- 01:20:54,469 --> 01:20:56,638
- a fucking jack-o'-lantern.
- 933
- 01:20:57,972 --> 01:20:59,305
- I have to fucking
- show you the pictures.
- 934
- 01:20:59,307 --> 01:21:00,639
- akumenang.com
- 935
- 01:21:00,641 --> 01:21:01,472
- Really?
- 936
- 01:21:01,474 --> 01:21:02,307
- I'll look it up.
- 937
- 01:21:02,309 --> 01:21:03,475
- Google it, bitch.
- 938
- 01:21:03,477 --> 01:21:04,975
- Guys, I don't wanna
- hear this anymore.
- 939
- 01:21:04,977 --> 01:21:09,147
- I know that I said the
- male entry was the best part.
- 940
- 01:21:09,149 --> 01:21:10,149
- But, really,
- 941
- 01:21:11,566 --> 01:21:13,985
- this, this is the best part.
- 942
- 01:21:18,573 --> 01:21:22,324
- Those two bad bitches,
- they're still alive.
- 943
- 01:21:22,326 --> 01:21:23,824
- What?
- 944
- 01:21:23,826 --> 01:21:26,244
- See, that's
- the part I don't believe.
- 945
- 01:21:26,246 --> 01:21:28,328
- What, it's true.
- 946
- 01:21:28,330 --> 01:21:30,497
- They never found
- the bodies, I swear.
- 947
- 01:21:30,499 --> 01:21:32,543
- Okay, ladies, I'm done.
- 948
- 01:21:33,502 --> 01:21:34,834
- It's time for bed.
- 949
- 01:21:34,836 --> 01:21:37,085
- We have had a blast.
- 950
- 01:21:37,087 --> 01:21:38,839
- I need to go to bed.
- 951
- 01:21:43,010 --> 01:21:44,675
- Have a carrot.
- 952
- 01:21:44,677 --> 01:21:45,926
- Ow.
- 953
- 01:22:52,566 --> 01:22:54,733
- Okay,.
- 954
- 01:22:54,735 --> 01:22:56,068
- It just wasn't.
- 955
- 01:22:56,070 --> 01:22:57,069
- I'm fine.
- 956
- 01:23:45,612 --> 01:23:47,946
- And, it was fucking nothing.
- 957
- 01:24:06,366 --> 01:24:09,297
- Subtitles by explosiveskull
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