Forsaken

Being forsaken is nothing new to me.

I know how dramatic that sounds, but...it is not a familiar feeling to you as well?

That feeling of having the rug pulled out from under you, plunging you down into the depths of confusion and shock?

That ever sinking feeling that you've been deceived, betrayed even, and there isn't a thing you can do about it?

I'm sure you've felt this feeling, even in small measures.

Getting told a lie, having someone give you something you didn't want, anything can cause this pit in your stomach to flare up.

Even if the consequences aren't dire, that draining feeling; like an abyss pulling you towards it...

Robbing your essences; feeling that your very being is being condemned to damnation.

This feeling is universal. I should know, this feeling...

I am mired in it.

I am nothing more than fate's plaything; an automaton meant to dance and speak to the whim of another.

All my life, I've been at the behest of another. A causality to decisions outside my control. A slave to actions I was not privy to.

I felt aimless. Without purpose. How could I take shape without a base to form from? With what tools could I use to shape myself?

I...thought it would be through song.

If I could not escape the threads that bind me, I will turn them into instruments to let my feelings burst through!

But...even then.

I was foolish to think my Master would allow such a foolish thing.

Human desires are naught for a doll like me.

So, in doing something I love....I was still trapped; doomed to fester in so much pain and hate. So many people I cared about, so many people I considered sisters-in-arms...

They were hurt. The tears they shed crashed over me like monsoons. Their words, like daggers; piercing every inch of me. Why did I think I could escape His will? Why did I think I could escape my true fate.

A doll. A doll whose purpose is to be the plaything of fate.

But...I can't.

I can't resign myself to this.

My friends...they're like me.

Alone in a crowd. Fearful despite their bravado. Filled with loathing despite claiming to love.

Is it...selfish? To want more for those I care about? What will He think? My strings still being pulled to dance for Him...

Is it fair to fight my forsaken status to introduce my friends to salvation?

Savlation.

What a dream.

Perhaps that dream was never quite in my grasp. Perhaps I was always destined to not be my own.

But them?

No.

THEY are not the playthings of His will; I...I am. I need to bear this burden to protect my friends.

So...why not become like Him.

Fitting, don't you think?

Defying my status as a ragdoll, bound by the red strings that fate has sown into my fabric...

If I must turn these threads into the strings of my instrument to play a song to place my loved ones into a reverie...

A dream with which they can live out their grandest desires; not feeling alone...

Instead, united. Acolytes praying through harmonies, spreading the gospels so that others may be uplifted.

So much so that they may not have to be cursed with the burden we all have to bear.

The burden of being forsaken; stripped from normalcy and forced to band together to protect all from the night and the shadow it brings to the world.

An umbral shell which traps those in bondage to His will. The veil of night acting as a shield as to where you resign to having your life not be yours anymore.

But I won't let that happen. Not for anyone else.

I will be the shining light to pierce that darkness. My melodies will save all from His will and I will be the force to break his grip over mankind. I will be the one to save us all! Me!

To do so, I must stand equal to Him.

I must become a God.

Turning my bondage into armor; these shackles into my strength, and my songs becoming as honed as the sharpest blade.

Deific energy flows through my words, and my acolytes are the amps with which this power is intensified.

They don't mind trading their bondage for my warmth. They understand the hopelessness of His reign, so they will follow me in order to help me destroy it.

Their obedience is a foregone conclusion; a means to an end. They understand that by worshipping me, they lend their power to something greater.

By allowing me to weave my red strings into their fabric, we are all one. We are united; we aim to pierce the heavens and ascend humanity to never deal with the crippling desolation that is solitude ever again.

He will fight. He will lose. We will reclaim our place as our own Masters. The weavers of our own strings.

As the God of the world, I will ensure his influence is purged. No other light is to shine brighter than I. My power as the one above all will not be questioned.

I will wipe his influence from this world. My acolytes and I will destroy every trace of his sickening essence from this planet; freeing us all from his grasp.

And when I accept my role as the God of all; my acolytes kneeling and praying beside me...

As we perform a ritual to send Him to the aether, never to be seen or heard from again. Nothing more than a bad memory we can all chose to forget...

To Him? It's a betrayal. An usurpation of his kingdom and a hostile takeover by one of the pawns he so clearly commanded.

To me?

It is a mercy.

To be erased by God is a blessing. It means you escaped Her wrath. It means you are resigning your story to an end by Her hands. It is an acceptance for a chance at redemption, once you are reborn.

So be grateful.

And bow before your new God.