[RGRE-ish] Anon and Twilight eat popcorn

Nov 29th, 2019
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  1. >>>34656507
  2. >You are Anon.
  3. >Tonight is your weekly meet-up night with Twilight.
  4. >It started off, months ago, with you agreeing to let her ask you questions about Earth.
  5. >Sciences, or at least the stuff you studied.
  6. >How your body worked... or at least what you learned when you went on wikipedia at 3 in the morning.
  7. >Society and culture, which you knew a lot about.
  8. >Or, knew very little about.
  9. >You had many opinions about it, anyway, like any good shitposter.
  10. >And papAnon raised a good shitposter.
  11. >Her questions started out with "So tell me about your life".
  12. >Her questions started turning into "So how do you feel about things here, considering your perspective".
  13. >Her questions finally - and most recently - became "So what sort of books do you like".
  14. >You've even heard her mix in a little bit of "So what are you doing Friday night" for flavour.
  15. >Twilight started off as a distant, distracted researcher who was interested in what you had to offer.
  16. >Now, she's a confidant, and she's a friend.
  17. >A good friend.
  18. >She's also a huge nerdy goober, too.
  19. >She'll get so excited over little things that interest her, and her excitement is infectious.
  20. >When she gets worked up over something, you can't help but feel pumped up too.
  21. >And right now, she's in your living-room.
  22. >She brought over her projector, and she's setting up an old-fashioned film as we speak.
  23. >It's only old-fashioned to you, of course - this is ground-breaking cutting-edge technology for Equestria.
  24. >She was confused when you giggled as she broke out the big fat film reel, and you guess you'll cover movie technology next week.
  25. >But right now, you're in the kitchen.
  26. >And you're stalling for time.
  27. >You're staring into your cupboards right now.
  28. >Deep in the back corner, behind the plates and behind the glasses.
  29. >Hidden beneath a stack of fancy napkins you never use.
  30. >It's the last of your Earth popcorn.
  31. >The type you cook over a stove top.
  32. >You like Twilight.
  33. >You want to share this bit of Earth culture with her, and share something with her that you have fond memories of.
  34. >Like your childhood favourite: popcorn.
  35. >You can still remember your dad cooking it whenever you and your brother watched a movie with him.
  36. >He didn't want you making popcorn by yourself, since you were young.
  37. >Not even microwave popcorn.
  38. >He said it would get too hot, and the steam that came out of the bag would burn you.
  39. >And to be fair, he was right; it took you a long time to learn the life lesson of "hot things are hot".
  40. >Anyway, back to the present.
  41. >You want to share this popcorn with Twilight, but this is the last physical piece of proof that you once lived on Earth.
  42. >Back home.
  43. >And if you were to cook this up now...
  44. > it...
  45. >...and throw away the package, that would be like saying goodbye.
  46. >And you don't know if you're ready for that.
  47. >You know you aren't going back home, but it still feels like you're just a tourist on an extended stay in some foreign country.
  48. >You sleep in this building, sure, but it's just some place.
  49. >It's not where your heart is.
  50. >A sad smile spreads across your face as you glance at the brand name.
  51. >Your dad LOVED this one specific brand of stove top popcorn, and he got so angry when the company that made it discontinued it.
  52. >There are probably letters in some forgotten filing cabinet in an abandoned office building that your dad wrote, angrily demanding that they bring the popcorn back.
  53. >But with the advent of the internet, you found a place that sold this stuff.
  54. >The company was based in another country, and they still sold'em there, so you bought a bunch.
  55. >It arrived by mail, and you and your dad shared a bowl of it a few days before he passed away.
  56. >That had been the happiest you'd seen him in a long time, and you're not ashamed to say that you cried when the two of you ate it together.
  57. >So it's not just saying goodbye to home, it's also saying goodbye to your dad.
  58. >...again.
  59. >You nudge a napkin out of the way, and eye up the package out of a sense of nostalgia that these thoughts of your dad brought on.
  60. >It's just like you remembered it.
  61. >It's salted, unlike most popcorn here in Equestria.
  62. >Salt does funny things to ponies when ingested in large amounts.
  63. >Gets them silly, and full of energy.
  64. >It's a weird mixture of being drunk and being high, and it's different for every pony race.
  65. >Salt is required for healthy function, of course, but ponies need much less than a human does.
  66. >Luckily, you have a source for your stash - you NEED one if you want to stay healthy.
  67. >Don't... don't worry about where you get your salt.
  68. >It's not important.
  69. >What IS important is that you're sure you know how Twilight will react to this stuff.
  70. >She'll be all nervous, like you're talking her into agreeing to do ecstasy with you.
  71. >After all, this sort of IS pony-drugs.
  72. >Then, she'll make sure all the doors are locked and the windows are covered up.
  73. >Next, she'll demand that you never tell anypony, which you'll agree to.
  74. >Finally, she'll eat too much, crawl all over you, and fall asleep for 10 hours.
  75. >You've seen unicorns do it.
  76. >There's a reason Rarity still won't look you in the eye when you pass her on the street.
  77. >Your sad smile turns into an amused smirk, and you find yourself almost actually wanting to do this.
  78. >You'd kill to see how cute Twilight would get once she gets affected by the salt.
  79. >"Anon! Anon, I've got the projector hooked up! The movie's ready whenever you are!"
  80. >You shout over your shoulder, still standing in front of your secret hiding place.
  81. "Oh yeah?"
  82. >"Yeah! It's a scary movie, so you... it's okay if you need to snuggle up with me, okay?"
  83. >Tempting.
  84. >You've seen that tuft before, and Twilight was awful flighty about letting you touch it in the past.
  85. >"A-And maybe it'll help you calm down if we read together! I brought over my book bag with the latest installment of Daring Doo[spoiler]uche[/spoiler] in it!"
  86. >...
  87. >What a fucking goober.
  88. >You know what?
  89. >Maybe it's time that you started considering this place home.
  90. >You know you aren't going back to Earth, and you have ponies here that you truthfully consider your friends.
  91. >And you even have one purple nerd you consider your BEST friend.
  92. >Maybe even more, if you're being honest.
  93. >You can still keep your dad alive in your heart, even when you say goodbye.
  94. >You reach into the cupboard (and have a momentary heart attack when you knock over all your glasses, which honestly almost ruined the moment for you) and grab the last container of popcorn.
  95. "Just a second, Twi! I'm gonna make a treat for you us to eat real quick!"
  96. >"Oh, neat! What is it?"
  97. >It's something very special to you.
  98. "I found some popcorn from back home underneath some napkins, Twi. You want some?"
  99. >There's the sound of something metallic falling down, and then silence.
  100. >"Is... that's the salted stuff, right?"
  101. "Yup."
  102. >More silence.
  103. >"L-Lemme just make sure the windows are covered, okay? Oh, this is so exciting!"
  104. >Nailed it.
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