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a guest Jul 16th, 2019 68 Never
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  1. https://medium.com/better-humans/coffee-time-out-34eafb198c73
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  3. The article talks about being permanently addicted to caffeine and then quiting (SPL*) cold-turkey. "Hey! I've done that
  4. before," I thought to myself, recalling every substitute I used to not feel a migraine form, "I wonder what genius typed
  5. this up to modify the neurochemical mixtrates of the eagerly reading civilians even though I make spelling mistakes constantly even though I've read them in publicly available libraries even though -ally is a legal substitute for the word public and I apologize for that random tangent." As such, I read the article.
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  7. P.S. I fucking hate you tools for coloring shit red on my monitor, but no giving me a 2-3 line automated procedure to call them of my own volition, as if you fucking invented organic chemistry within one of your own shit pellets. Now; now; I know grammar rules are important and that the coders who work for 'pastebin' 'just work there bro' and 'its a nine-to-five grind you lazy disabled fuck' but seriously, I DRANK CAFFEINE LIKE THE SALMON OF CAPISTRANO POURING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN LIKE AN AVALANCHE AND NO, THERE IS NO SUNSHINE IN IT. Then I quit cold turkey. To quit fake making white people believe I'm white through their racist mother fucking pig nose. I also reformatted my lumbar vertebrate stack and am pretty sure I vomited out fungal spores I stored in my abdominal fat (soaked up in champagne creek, douglas county, OR) to simply NEVER MAKE WHITE NIGGERS THINK I'M WHITE ANYMORE.
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  9. How much coffee? 2-7 cups a day period or I would end up fucking you up. When I quit, I picked up a brand spanking new habit I've perfectly controlled you will mother fucking hate: NICOTINE MOTHER FUCKER. I will also swallow energy drinks like a 16oz steroid pellet and I will punch like it was 16oz worth of steroids. Which habit is harder? Fuck you, you joined the military and take orders from postal workers and public defenders to me now.
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  11. Nicotine is for life and I will never stop smoking it FOR LIFE and smoke hand-rollies and smoke em FOR LIFE. I chewed for 2-3 years half at random and quit THE DAY I FIXED MY BRAIN BECAUSE IT SAID, "DEAR NIGGER WHO DOESNT KNOW I CANT FIX ANYTHING, WHEN OUR SPINE WAS CROOKED AND I COULDNT TELL WE COULD CHEW A CAN EVERY FEW DAYS AND NOW THAT THE BACK IS FIXED BECAUSE I KNOW IT IS FIXED ONE PLUG WILL MELT HALF YOUR BRAINSTEM FOR FREE."
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  13.     "Really? Sounds fucking cool, bro."
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  15. "Why dont you watch your computer retard and then think of hurting richard cuz his hair is black?"
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  17.     "Shut the fuck up autism, you dont help most of the time."
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  19. My other habit, which I am sad about, because I love drinking them too, is energy drinks and you can never fucking ever get over having ever been fed one, tool. I have two cousins: Gregory and Brental. TRUST ME HARDER THAN GODs HOG-LOG when I tell you THEY WILL CLAIM TO HAVE QUIT ENERGY DRINKS FOR LIFE ALONG WITH MARLBORO CIGARETTES. They smoke pills and have butt-sex. They are fucking retarded.
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  21. I drink N0S, BANG, Monster, Red Bull, and random ones I see if I think they are better than Amp all of the time, and dont know when I will ever be able to quit. I drink one giant can of Monster a week if I can, just to deal with no more caffeine. If I don't drink these, I will drink COCA-COLA BY THE 50 GALLON BARREL just to get that biphenylated nitrate that is inside, it is so fucking good for you I hope you cant swallow the shit. =]. For real, that was a sentence to me.
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  23. Do I drink the ground coffee bean at all? Fuck no, I do not drink coffee anymore. I drank it at the pot-a-day and come-play-with-me level for a decade and quit 'cold turkey', over night, because I knew how to do three things and do them anytime coffee is the only answer:
  24.  
  25. 1. smoke a hand rolled cigarette
  26. 2. drink a glass of coca-cola on the ice
  27. 3. drink a BANG energy
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  29. Anything else: handstand pushup, red bull, filtered cigarette, hardbass; they only damage your body funny. The giant cans of Monster I just look at and tell, "Hey! I believe in fuzzy logic too. You're fuzzy to me right now."
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  31. Seriously, I blame American Military trained females and the public defense system for damaging my ability to consume the correct form of vegetation, and currently get all of my aminos for the week smoking weed for about 5 hours in one day. PUT A METAL PISTOL INTO MY MOUTH AND MOTHER FUCKING PREVENT ME FROM MAKING MY CHILDREN.
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