Jump 410: Sonic Universe

Jump #410: Sonic Universe
>The Magician, reversed: The use of knowledge and skill for selfish gain or destructive purposes.
>The Choice: Drop-In
>Allegiance: Neutral
I just spent the last 1200 years building an empire. I think I'm entitled to a break.
>Identity: Wander/Engineer
>Drawbacks: (+400) The Zone of Silence
Special stages, woo! Wait, why is this 400 points?
>I Am All Of Me (Free, Wanderer)
It's always good to know where I stand.
>Fire All Weapons! (Free, Engineer)
Well, since making weapons comes naturally, I can whip up any kind of handheld weapon quickly. It's like magic.
>Hi Spec Robo Go! (1300, Engineer)
Sure, I've mastered creating magitech automatons, semi-sapient life, and various robots. This just expands my arsenal nicely.
>Under Construction! (1100, Engineer)
Oh, now we're talking. Instead of just building robots from an assembly line, I can build higher-end machines. Metal Sonic makes for a good higher-end machine. Sheesh, now I'm kind of wishing I'd finished this jump before making Brittania rule the waves.
>Built To Rule! (800, Engineer)
Even better, now I can crank all of the above out quite rapidly. Not to mention building any number of vehicles. Yeah, I really could have used this during World War II, it would have been even more hilarious than giant flying wings that looked at home in Belka.
>Infinite Chili Dogs (Free, Wanderer)
More on the infinite food menu!
>Lake of Rings (700, Engineer)
Now... this is handy. Not only do I know where one of these lakes is, I'll have one that in every jump PLUS one on a property I already own. I can think of a good spot for that.
>Material (Free, Engineer)
Generic raw material? I can get behind this. Although I AM going to say I wish that it specified how much I get - is this infinite material, or do I get a set amount in the deliveries over time?
>The Files (400, Engineer)
OH HOHOHOHOHO. Sure, having all of GUN and Eggman's designs on file is a useful thing, but more importantly... Chaos drives? Heck yes. Perhaps I can work that into arc reactors too?
>Jumper Heroes (x4, 0)
If I'm going to bring in my companions, I'm going to give them every edge that I can. No need to skimp on the price.

Special stages are my special hell. Would you like to know how long it takes, when it's actually YOU in the special stage trying to beat it? You know, there was really no way for me to keep track. Months? Easily. Years? Certainly. Decades? Probably.

Motion sickness from the stage spinning back and forth could be dealt with, it wasn't as bad as one might think. Almost relaxing at times. Another, bouncing on springs, was doable as well. Half-pipes and tubes... a bit weird at times, but managable. Chasing around UFOs... annoying, but doable. Worse when you had to chase one around instead of several. Running around mazes, irritating but doable.

You know what's borderline NOT doable, though?

Blue Sphere.

Do you know why the Zone of Silence is a 400 point drawback? Because if you lock on Sonic 1 with Sonic & Knuckles, you have 2^27 special stages in total. Sure, if you get all the rings in one, you can skip ten, but that means if you get them all perfect, you might get by with only playing around thirteen million stages instead of a hundred thirty seven million.

I learned very, very quickly how to gain proficiency with this. Because if there's anything I remember from my childhood, it's how to cheese the Blue Spheres. Change direction while you bounce off a jump over two red spheres at a time to try to survive something that shouldn't be survivable.

Frankly, a matter of decades is not all that bad considering how it might have gone. Sure, I can't use jumper powers to beat the special stages, but once you get the timing down, you'd be surprised what shenanigans you can pull off.

Yes, I'm quite aware that playing Blue Sphere for years on end probably is NOT the case for everyone else. At least, I hope not. I wouldn't wish this on any of you - this is my treadmill. Because I'm not crazy enough to get on the REAL treadmill, you lunatics.

So, after spending god only knows how long playing through the special stages until I FINALLY got everything absolutely perfectly... I found myself washed up on the shore of a small lake, at the base of a waterfall. And so I pulled out the bug-out bag from East vs West and simply set up camp on the edge of the waterfall there, because after hearing the Blue Spheres music in fast forward for so long I needed time to decompress.

Naturally, this lasted for all of two days before Sonic stumbled across the lake, was suspicious when he realized there was a guy camped out there where by all rights nobody should be, then tried to do some fast talking when a ring popped up so that he could grab it. This was all well and good until various badniks appeared, because of course they would, and Sonic destroyed them and went on his merry little way while I just looked at him like he was crazy... he honestly struck me as a nut with all the attention span of a fruit fly.

A few days after that, a handful of badniks rolled on the lake because of course they would. They wanted the lake itself rather than any hedgehog, and refused to leave peacefully. And so with a bit of elbow grease and them taking losses in the crossfire, the machines were rendered inert. I went back to enjoying my vacation.

When the next wave of badniks arrived, a great deal more of them than had been in the first wave, they found me in a suit of scrap armor that I'd put together from the previous badniks' components. I wasn't exactly a fan of the fact that they were led by a pair of E-series robots, and one of the machines even had a helpful video screen so that I could speak with Eggman directly.

>"So you're the pest."
"With all due respect, doctor, I'm just a man on vacation. I'd just ask that you leave me in peace, but I'm willing to hear you out if you actually wish to talk instead of having your robots just attack. Again."
>"I don't know who you are, but it doesn't matter. You've become a thorn in my side, so I'll give you two choices: you may join me, or die."
"Huh. Well, that simplifies things, since I rather enjoy living." I scratched my chin, then shrugged; I started walking in the midst of the badniks, their weapons trained on me.
>"You seem to be a capable enough man, if you were able to put armor together from their scraps. Certainly not GUN material, though."
"Hah! GUN. No, definitely not one of them. Frankly of the two, if I had no choice, I'd pick you. At least you're honest about your intentions."
>"Well, at least you aren't a complete fool."
"I'd certainly hope not. That would shorten my life drastically."

And with that, I fell silent, aside from a query as to how far we had to go. When he gave the answer - about a six hour forced march, which put me much closer than I expected - I offered to run instead. Bemused, he agreed. An hour and a half later, he remained amused by the fact that I was able to sprint the entire way, though considering the other odd individuals, I barely stood out by comparison. And then I was brought before the man himself, not that he was fool enough to have me there without numerous guns aimed at me.

At which point I decided enough was enough, seized control of every technological device within ten miles and froze it in place, and then spoke to Eggman.

"Ȩ̶̵̕r̶̢̛͢ó̧d̷̛͡é̀͢͟."

The building started to groan, rust pitting the surfaces around us, the lights flickering and dying. The only light was from the skylight. He ordered his machines to attack, but nothing responded - in fact, they weren't immune from whatever was happening. Nothing was, except for the two of us. The glass above shattered and came down in pieces, the walls sagging and the ceiling collapsing around us as he frantically looked for an escape path.

"F̷̢͘l̢̨̕͟a͡͝͞t̸͘t̀̕̕͡e̡̢ņ̶͘."

Rather than continuing to decay, the building abruptly became flat as a pancake. Fortunate that there had been a skylight above us, in retrospect. Eggman uncerimoniously tumbled two stories, and I landed on my feet a short distance from him.

"All I wanted was a peaceful vacation. After all the blue spheres, I wasn't even going ot get involved." I advanced on him, drawing a luminescent white blade from nowhere. "But you had to push it. I wonder what everyone will make of this building's decay and destruction, and finding your body here?"

He attempted to bargain with me, but it fell on deaf ears. I have no interest in working for a would-be dictator. The white blade will slay anything that lives and quite permanently at that, and Eggman was no exception to that.

And after that, I fused the electronics of everything in the base, did a rapid about-face, and teleported back to my campsite, because I am going to ENJOY my vacation, and the plot can go fuck itself.

The Eggman Empire splintered under the various Egg Bosses, and were taken down pretty handily. Really, without Eggman to deal with, some of them were perfectly willing to defect, and those who weren't were dealt with pretty easily, all in all. And without Eggman around, anyone else who tried to start problems on the planet were dealt with far more easily, even if Sonic felt like there was something missing from his life without his nemesis.

And I got to relax. For the first time in quite a while.