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TearyHarpy

Harpy is Terribly Confused at Kaiju Movies

TearyHarpy
Dec 16th, 2018
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  1. A Giant Dork: well [watching movies with ivel] didn't work out all great but that's okay
  2.  
  3. A Giant Dork: that means ivel doesn't have to suffer with me as i watch Godzilla's Revenge
  4.  
  5. A Giant Dork: by myself
  6.  
  7. A Giant Dork: >audio languages: English
  8.  
  9. A Giant Dork: oh man amazon i hope you're right because i'm ready to suffer
  10.  
  11. A Giant Dork: https://gyazo.com/d25c7d89012bdaddd74d7a6cb73685bf
  12.  
  13. A Giant Dork: two things
  14.  
  15. A Giant Dork: 1: Marche: ESCAPISM IS BAD MKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  16.  
  17. A Giant Dork: 2. this actually sounds like an interesting concept if he turns into an actual kaiju and destroys the bully's livelihood
  18.  
  19. A Giant Dork: not even a minute in and i feel like laying down in bed...
  20.  
  21. A Giant Dork: with a new plush godzilla...
  22.  
  23. A Giant Dork: i have no idea what i just listened to.
  24.  
  25. A Giant Dork: i'm the kid making airplane noises
  26.  
  27. A Giant Dork: i
  28.  
  29. A Giant Dork: are you really comparing minya to a car-
  30.  
  31. A Giant Dork: ...actually, i take that back, yeah he sounds like that
  32.  
  33. A Giant Dork: "wow that sounds exciting"
  34.  
  35. A Giant Dork: me
  36.  
  37. A Giant Dork: this feels like a whole lotta nothing happening in the first few minutes..\
  38.  
  39. A Giant Dork: DOOT DOOT i"M A CONDOOTURE
  40.  
  41. A Giant Dork: "why doing that"
  42.  
  43. A Giant Dork: i thought the captions were being shits but
  44.  
  45. A Giant Dork: no
  46.  
  47. A Giant Dork: they actually said that
  48.  
  49. A Giant Dork: oh my god this is going to be SO BAD
  50.  
  51. A Giant Dork: "is your son okay? he's kinda shy, quiet"
  52.  
  53. A Giant Dork: please
  54.  
  55. A Giant Dork: don't do this...
  56.  
  57. A Giant Dork: why do you guys even want that thing
  58.  
  59. A Giant Dork: what does it even do
  60.  
  61. A Giant Dork: lays a curse on you for 50 million years
  62.  
  63. A Giant Dork: "its a MINI COMPUTER"
  64.  
  65. A Giant Dork: this isn't a mac!
  66.  
  67. A Giant Dork: this can't play kid-pix!
  68.  
  69. A Giant Dork: NO I DON'T WANNA LEARN ABOUT THE MOON, I WANNA PLAY KID-PIX
  70.  
  71. A Giant Dork: "I wanna go to Monster Island! Godzilla is there!"
  72.  
  73. A Giant Dork: Okay, yes, good reason-
  74.  
  75. A Giant Dork: "Rodan's there"
  76.  
  77. A Giant Dork: Mmmm, not feeling it but I also enjoy birbadactyls-
  78.  
  79. A Giant Dork: "Minya"
  80.  
  81. A Giant Dork: ....you lost me there bub
  82.  
  83. A Giant Dork: https://gyazo.com/9e78c57def4bf2cff2e5e63d851a89f0
  84.  
  85. A Giant Dork: a kid said this
  86.  
  87. A Giant Dork: i
  88.  
  89. A Giant Dork: uh
  90.  
  91. A Giant Dork: hm
  92.  
  93. A Giant Dork: >telling your child where the cake is
  94.  
  95. A Giant Dork: NOO HE'S GONNA EAT IT ALL
  96.  
  97. A Giant Dork: "Hubert, don't leave me, I love you"
  98.  
  99. A Giant Dork: sdfjklj oidfgjofj df
  100.  
  101. A Giant Dork: DID NOT EXPECT RUINED
  102.  
  103. A Giant Dork: "WELL YOU SHOULDA THOUGHTA THAT BEFORE YOU WENT AND STOLE MY HARD EARNED CASH-"
  104.  
  105. A Giant Dork: not an actual quote from the movie, just ~hubert things~
  106.  
  107. A Giant Dork: "but i have to leave you"
  108.  
  109. A Giant Dork: but WHY tho
  110.  
  111. A Giant Dork: i'd appreciate it if we didn't have this weird fish eye lens thing going
  112.  
  113. A Giant Dork: I KNOW HE'S IMAGINING THINGS
  114.  
  115. A Giant Dork: RECYCLED FOOTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
  116.  
  117. A Giant Dork: so its time for the best part
  118.  
  119. A Giant Dork: RECYCLED COMMENTARY
  120.  
  121. A Giant Dork: Brandon Carter: WIDOW MAKERS EVERYWHERE
  122.  
  123. A Giant Dork: THE ABUSE IS REAL, AGAIN
  124.  
  125. A Giant Dork: I AM A GOROSAURUS
  126.  
  127. A Giant Dork: Manya?
  128.  
  129. A Giant Dork: Enulous
  130.  
  131. A Giant Dork: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE
  132.  
  133. A Giant Dork: GODZILLA HATE BIRB
  134.  
  135. A Giant Dork: ...yeah, uh, slap that cock or
  136.  
  137. A Giant Dork: something
  138.  
  139. A Giant Dork: i can't believe i'm saying that.
  140.  
  141. A Giant Dork: rrrrOAAASTED
  142.  
  143. A Giant Dork: kamakuras hurt my ears as always
  144.  
  145. A Giant Dork: *sheds a single tear as her ears bleed*
  146.  
  147. A Giant Dork: uh
  148.  
  149. A Giant Dork: RANDOM ASS HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE-
  150.  
  151. A Giant Dork: donk
  152.  
  153. A Giant Dork: ...
  154.  
  155. A Giant Dork: .....
  156.  
  157. A Giant Dork: ..........
  158.  
  159. A Giant Dork: ...minya's voice
  160.  
  161. A Giant Dork: i
  162.  
  163. A Giant Dork: i had a whole real life freakout about this
  164.  
  165. A Giant Dork: rename this movie to "Barney and Friends"
  166.  
  167. A Giant Dork: also i'm going to suffer all movie long.
  168.  
  169. A Giant Dork: it was nice knowing you guys...
  170.  
  171. A Giant Dork: ...i'm 20 minutes in and crying for help
  172.  
  173. A Giant Dork: those are some WEIRD KAIJU NOISES there
  174.  
  175. A Giant Dork: i dunno, minya, you kinda TRIED to fight
  176.  
  177. A Giant Dork: this kid's just lonely
  178.  
  179. A Giant Dork: i feel this kid
  180.  
  181. A Giant Dork: lonely buds
  182.  
  183. A Giant Dork: "don't worry, maybe we'll have sukiyaki!"
  184.  
  185. A Giant Dork: I FUCKING ALREADY ATE BUT SUKIYAKI SOUNDS FANTASTIC
  186.  
  187. A Giant Dork: confidence levels are low
  188.  
  189. A Giant Dork: sammy would be sad
  190.  
  191. A Giant Dork: no wait don't go in there the robbers might be there...
  192.  
  193. A Giant Dork: ichirooo
  194.  
  195. A Giant Dork: ICHIRO
  196.  
  197. A Giant Dork: NOOO
  198.  
  199. A Giant Dork: ICHIRO
  200.  
  201. A Giant Dork: FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK DOn'T
  202.  
  203. A Giant Dork: this is why you keep your drivers liscence in a secure location
  204.  
  205. A Giant Dork: GONNA KIDNAP A KID SO I CAN DRIVE AGAIN
  206.  
  207. A Giant Dork: ILLEGALLY
  208.  
  209. A Giant Dork: WITH ALL THIS MONEY I STOOOLE
  210.  
  211. A Giant Dork: look at all this plot stuff going on
  212.  
  213. A Giant Dork: and here i am
  214.  
  215. A Giant Dork: being distracted by food
  216.  
  217. A Giant Dork: as usual
  218.  
  219. A Giant Dork: DREAAAM TELEPORTATION
  220.  
  221. A Giant Dork: *MAGIC HANDS*
  222.  
  223. A Giant Dork: RUNNING IN THE 60'S
  224.  
  225. A Giant Dork: VERY VERY SLOWLY
  226.  
  227. A Giant Dork: "I GOT NO FRIENDS"
  228.  
  229. A Giant Dork: ow?
  230.  
  231. A Giant Dork: ow.
  232.  
  233. A Giant Dork: GODZILLA ISN'T HIS REAL DAD
  234.  
  235. A Giant Dork: FUCK YOU ITS A SHRIMP
  236.  
  237. A Giant Dork: ROCK BATTLE
  238.  
  239. A Giant Dork: correction: FUCK YOU ITS A LOBSTER
  240.  
  241. A Giant Dork: HEAVY LOBSTER!
  242.  
  243. A Giant Dork: ...and time to crave some lobster, too
  244.  
  245. A Giant Dork: i see godzilla is a kaiju of good taste
  246.  
  247. A Giant Dork: ...*Squints*
  248.  
  249. A Giant Dork: reused assets?
  250.  
  251. A Giant Dork: GODZILLA WASN'T EVEN RIGHT THERE THO
  252.  
  253. A Giant Dork: WELP THAT DIDN'T GO SO WELL
  254.  
  255. A Giant Dork: GODZILLA USED BAD BREATH!
  256.  
  257. A Giant Dork: SPIDDER GOT CONFUSED, POISONED, BURNED, PARALYZED...
  258.  
  259. A Giant Dork: DATS BAWSS
  260.  
  261. A Giant Dork: i mean godzilla already thinks you're a coward and loves you anyway so uh
  262.  
  263. A Giant Dork: oh uh
  264.  
  265. A Giant Dork: you got big
  266.  
  267. A Giant Dork: ...return of donkey noises.
  268.  
  269. A Giant Dork: debating whether this or him actually talking is worse.
  270.  
  271. A Giant Dork: why are the jets even attacking
  272.  
  273. A Giant Dork: why are you even here
  274.  
  275. A Giant Dork: godzilla's not even a threat to tokyo, THIS IS A KID'S DREAM
  276.  
  277. A Giant Dork: HE IS POWERLESS
  278.  
  279. A Giant Dork: "C'MON COUSIN ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT JETS"
  280.  
  281. A Giant Dork: "but DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD"
  282.  
  283. A Giant Dork: i'm glad godzilla doesn't have a voice because otherwise i'd fucking die
  284.  
  285. A Giant Dork: MORE STOCK FOOTAGE EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  286.  
  287. A Giant Dork: CHILD KIDNAPPING STATUS: UNDERWAY
  288.  
  289. A Giant Dork: did he threaten him with a butter knife tho
  290.  
  291. A Giant Dork: YOU SIT STILL AND DUMB
  292.  
  293. A Giant Dork: um
  294.  
  295. A Giant Dork: um.
  296.  
  297. A Giant Dork: okay.
  298.  
  299. A Giant Dork: "YOU CRY LIKE A GIRL"
  300.  
  301. A Giant Dork: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
  302.  
  303. A Giant Dork: i don't think saying th at out loud is a great idea but okay
  304.  
  305. A Giant Dork: AND IMMEDIATELY HE GETS OWNED
  306.  
  307. A Giant Dork: OOPS
  308.  
  309. A Giant Dork: ZAP TAP SHOULD BE BANNED
  310.  
  311. A Giant Dork: fook'd
  312.  
  313. A Giant Dork: GO OUT THERE AND GIT HIM, SON
  314.  
  315. A Giant Dork: "BUT I DON'T WANNA"
  316.  
  317. A Giant Dork: "FUCKIN DO IT"
  318.  
  319. A Giant Dork: "D:"
  320.  
  321. A Giant Dork: CHOMp
  322.  
  323. A Giant Dork: DONK
  324.  
  325. A Giant Dork: an actual good idea?!?!?!
  326.  
  327. A Giant Dork: FOOKIN
  328.  
  329. A Giant Dork: GOD DAMN IT
  330.  
  331. A Giant Dork: i gues this is where the revenge comes in :U
  332.  
  333. A Giant Dork: i don't think bullying back helps there fam :U
  334.  
  335. A Giant Dork: HES OUR PASSPORT DUURHUR
  336.  
  337. A Giant Dork: uuuh
  338.  
  339. A Giant Dork: ...
  340.  
  341. A Giant Dork: wow that was tied badly
  342.  
  343. A Giant Dork: RIP those doofs
  344.  
  345. A Giant Dork: ...i'm running on empty here, what am i even supposed to comment on :U
  346.  
  347. A Giant Dork: these scare chords are unnessessary
  348.  
  349. A Giant Dork: WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY CAR
  350.  
  351. A Giant Dork: they
  352.  
  353. A Giant Dork: they turned it on
  354.  
  355. A Giant Dork: that's it!
  356.  
  357. A Giant Dork: "I"M GONNA GET THAT KIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
  358.  
  359. A Giant Dork: shoulda fell down an endless hole..
  360.  
  361. A Giant Dork: good trap there kid
  362.  
  363. A Giant Dork: WHERE DID GO
  364.  
  365. A Giant Dork: UNNECESSARY SLO-MO
  366.  
  367. A Giant Dork: WHATCHA GOT IN YOUR HAND?
  368.  
  369. A Giant Dork: A KNIFE
  370.  
  371. A Giant Dork: GAME OVER YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
  372.  
  373. A Giant Dork: kid's famous mang
  374.  
  375. A Giant Dork: UNNECESSARY SLOMO!
  376.  
  377. A Giant Dork: GET FUCKED GABERA
  378.  
  379. A Giant Dork: GET TO SCHOOL!
  380.  
  381. A Giant Dork: defend your child from crimes he committed..
  382.  
  383. A Giant Dork: welp.
  384.  
  385. A Giant Dork: that sure is a lesson for the fam!
  386.  
  387. A Giant Dork: "BOYS'LL BE BOYS! :U "
  388.  
  389. A Giant Dork: so uh
  390.  
  391. A Giant Dork: that happened!
  392.  
  393. A Giant Dork: it... it exists.
  394.  
  395. A Giant Dork: it doesn't really leave a lasting impression aside from "GAWRSH MINYA SURE DOES SOUND LIKE BARNEY EVEN THOUGH HE'S JUST A KID"
  396.  
  397. A Giant Dork: i didn't suffer, but I didn't really enjoy it all that much either?
  398.  
  399. A Giant Dork: it's
  400.  
  401. A Giant Dork: actually kind of the worst feeling
  402.  
  403. A Giant Dork: it's like
  404.  
  405. A Giant Dork: i experienced a meh burger in video form
  406.  
  407. A Giant Dork: kinda stretched the ol' commentary thing here, otherwise i would have just left it at "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MINYA WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT VOICE"
  408.  
  409. A Giant Dork: meh burger/10
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