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- 18.07.07
- Dear Diary,
- Tests are coming up now. I was studying in my room when Hisao came in. He just walked in then stared me in the face. Then he stripped down and showed me his scar.
- I…I couldn’t believe it. I was stunned. We’re more alike than I thought. I was speechless. He too knows pain like I do. It was so surreal, he just left. I must be getting closer and closer to him. Soon, he’ll be totally mine. I don’t know how to feel about this. I’ll have to seal the deal soon.
- 20.07.07
- Dear Diary,
- I met up with Hisao in the city today at a small café. I took the time to ask him about his old life and he told me he’s pretty much cut himself off from it. He’s alone here at Yamaku. As alone as I am. I added his number to my phone. Somehow it turned into a conversation about my past and elementary school. I felt bad, but Hisao got me a present. It was so nice of him to do that…maybe he is a nice guy. There might be a chance for us…
- 25.07.07
- Dear Diary, This is retrospectively written.
- I started talking to Hisao. He wanted to know about my past. I made him tell me about himself. As he told me about growing up, he told me about a life I wish I had. And it turns out that his life hasn’t been easy. He’s doomed to fail with his numbingly boring life and background. I barely focused on what the hell he was saying. But…I knew. Now was the time. I showed him my scars. All of them. I broke down and told him how I feel. How I’m not attractive, and not what he wants. Reverse psychology? Maybe. I was lost in the moment. I…I stopped thinking. I just let happen. And…we had sex. I think. Was I supposed to say, “HEY, IT’S TIME FOR SEX!” or something? Is that the right way to do it? What have I done? Oh man. I…I slept it off. I'm not ready to face him, to face this, to face myself. Not like this. I'm so confused and this just made things worse.
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