Cory/Saki: Tinfoil Fedora

-- mischievousIllusion [MI] began messaging gheraoFairytale [GF] --
MI: do 1 hear wedd1n6 bells?
GF: can all my passwords be ugh whatever cuz thats basically how i feel about this stupid password system
MI: well 1f an enemy d1d crack our defenses 1 6uess 7hey would know all subsequen7 passwords 7oo
GF: ok great its decided then
MI: wa17 hold 7he bloody phone
MI: no7h1n6s dec1ded
GF: sure is limey
MI: says 7he one w17h l1me 6reen 7ex7
GF: with all the brit slang you use
GF: i get to call you limey forever
MI: well
MI: we'll call 17 a codename 7hen
MI: because 17's 7oo dan6erous 7o use my real name 1n case someone's l1s7en1n6 1n
GF: no its pretty much an insult
MI: 7ha7's offens1ve 7ha7
GF: omg
GF: hold the presses
GF: an insult is meant to be offensive
GF: holy shit
MI: 1 assure you 1'm s7unned by 7h1s revela71on
GF: of course you are
MI: okay now you've 6o7 7ha7 ou7 your sys7em
MI: how 17 han61n6?
GF: hanging out talking to dudes
GF: nbd
GF: gotta do my kata after this ughhhh
GF: so whats going on w/ you
MI: f1nd1n6 all abou7 wha7 7hey bloody well don'7 wan7 you 7o f1nd ou7
MI: 1'm sure 17'd 7us7 blow your m1nd 1f 1 7old you
GF: but you wont because if i knew theyd come after me right
MI: 1'm 7us7 concerned for your safe7y 1s all
GF: suuuure
GF: it has nothing to do with your facts being fakey fake
MI: 7here's a d1fference be7ween be1n6 unver1f1able and fake
MI: ma1nly because 1n one case all 7he ev1dence was des7royed
GF: yes of course
GF: this is definitely what happened
GF: youre definitely not delusional
MI: nope 1'm def1n17ly no7 fuck1n6 delus1onal
MI: and bes1des 7he psych1a7r1c 1s basc1ally one b16 scam
MI: *psych1a7r1c 1ndus7ry
GF: oh those wacky doctors
GF: going to med school for like six fucking years
GF: they dont know shit!!
MI: only wha7 7heyre 7old
GF: because theyre being fed the bullshit of ~the system~ am i right
MI: exac7ly!
MI: 17s 7he bloody appeal 7o au7hor17y fallacy
GF: do
GF: do you even listen to yourself
MI: 1 dele7e all my lo6s from my compu7er as soon as 7hey're done
MI: so, no?
GF: colour me unsurprised
MI: 1'd ask you 7o do 7he same love, bu7 1 know you won'7 follow 17 7hrou6h
GF: i heard this really cool security trick today
GF: if you stick your hard drive in a freezer it messes with the satellites trying to get at the data
GF: they cant get to it because its too cold
GF: might wanna try it out
MI: come on, 1'm no7 6o1n6 7o fall for 7ha7 darl1n6
GF: damn
MI: everyone knows mak1n6 7hem ho7 so 7hey 61ve off 1nfra red 1s 7he bes7 way 7o block sa7ell17es
GF: wait
GF: what
GF: you realise i was messing with you right
GF: doing shit to your hard drive is a terrible idea
MI: you real1se 1 was hav1n6 a lau6h 7here r16h7?
GF: ok good
GF: i was worried you were even more of a moron than i thought for a second
MI: come on, you d1dn'7 really 7h1nk 1'm 7ha7 much of a plonker do you?
GF: looooooooooooooooooooooool
GF: omg
GF: plonker
GF: that
GF: gimme a sec
GF: i just
GF: have to get over that
GF: youre so fucking british
GF: which is hilarious because youre supposed to be this paranoid guy who doesnt want us to know where you are
MI: parano1d br171sh 6uy
MI: yup 7ha7 pre77y much descr1bes bloody well every7h1n6 7here 1s 7o know abou7 me r16h7 7here
GF: youre definitely one dimensional
GF: which is totally why i keep talking to you
MI: of course, sarcas71c kun6 fu 61rl
GF: damn you just hit on everything i am
GF: what will i do now youve uncovered my secrets
GF: oh yeah ill continue not giving a shit
MI: keep 7hem forever locked up 1n 7he 7ower of london obv1ously
MI: so 7he 6eneral publ1c w1ll never know
GF: dude the general public lives in fear of me
GF: or at least
GF: my street does
GF: someone tried to fuck with me once when i was younger
GF: now no one fucks with me
GF: none of the suckers
GF: none of them!!
MI: sounds l1ke you're a made 61rl over 7here
GF: dude you have no idea how made i am
GF: made of solid fucking gold
MI: you know mach1avell1 sa1d 17's bes7 7o rule 7hrou6h bo7h fear and love, r16h7 love?
GF: actually he said its hard to mix them up
GF: because theyre polar fucking opposites
GF: and that its safer to be feared than loved
MI: hey pre77y 6ood!
GF: im not a moron like some ppl i know
MI: 1'm sure 1 don'7 know anybody l1ke 7ha7
GF: i see dumb people
GF: theyre everywhere
GF: they dont even know theyre dumb
MI: 16norance 1s a curse, people have 7o wake up
GF: like you right
MI: 1 don'7 wan7 7o l1ke a ponce bu7 yes, exac7ly l1ke me
GF: sorry but your poncemetre is currently off the charts
GF: like holy shit i cant even track this shit
MI: 7ha7's because my sh17 1s un7rackable
GF: your toilet is forever safe against the fbi
GF: or the illuminati
GF: w/e
MI: or al1ens
MI: seems 7he perfec7 place for bu66er1n6 anal probes
GF: oh yeah i forgot aliens
MI: 7ha7's exac7ly wha7 7hey wan7!
GF: no i forgot them because they dont exist
MI: 1 am almos7 cer7a1n 7hey do
MI: or a7 leas7 some k1nd of ex7ra d1men71onal en7171es
GF: yeah yeah w/e
GF: if i get kidnapped youll be the first to know
MI: 1'd cer7a1nly l1ke 7o
GF: well ill just get on their weird alien internet
GF: and go sup dude
GF: i just hijacked a ufo
MI: 1f you could 7us7... fly 17 over here and le7 me look 17 1'd be very 6ra7eful darl1n6
GF: well what else am i gonna do with a ufo
GF: may as well give it to you idgaf about aliens
MI: pf7 1'd have 7o 7ell you where 1 bloody well l1ve f1rs7 so we could mee7
GF: its a ufo
GF: theyre probably tracking you
MI: 7ha7 sounds all k1nds of 1nvas1on of pr1vacy bus1ness
GF: theyre aliens they dont give a shit
GF: they give almost as few fucks as i do
MI: obv1ously, 7hey're 7ry1n6 7o 1nvade 7he world, as well as our pr1vacy
GF: yes of course thats what theyre doing
GF: superadvanced race which totally exists and isnt fake
GF: and the best thing it can do is obvs to invade little old us
MI: you're r16h7, 7he world 1nvas1on mus7 be a ruse
GF: yes of course
GF: its all a coverup
MI: 7hese here 7h1n6s work 1n layers love
MI: you have no 1dea how many layers upon layers 7he 6rand consp1racy 6oes
MI: h1n7 17's seven
GF: do you know how hard im rolling my eyes right now
GF: i think my eyes might just sort of casually roll out of my head at this rate
GF: just sort of go take a vacation to australia
MI: 7here are worse places 7o 6o
GF: yeah i wouldnt mind visiting
GF: indonesias nice too
GF: gonna go live there one day
MI: 17aly sounds pre77y 6ood 1 hear
MI: so where exac7ly are you now?
GF: what you wont tell me where you are outside of your constant slang but you wanna know where i am
GF: that aint fair
MI: well
MI: you see
MI: 7ha7 was ac7ually a 7es7!
MI: you passed
MI: well done
GF: as if i give a shit about your weirdo tests
MI: 1've 7us7 6o7 you bes7 1n7eres7s are hear7 here
GF: im touched
MI: you should be darl1n6
GF: loooooool
GF: look quick lesson
GF: im basically this huge badass??
GF: you dont have to worry about me
MI: well 7ha7's wha7 you say
GF: durrrrrrrr of course im gonna tell the truth
MI: hey, 1 wan7 7o bel1eve 7ha7, bu7 you say 1 bele1ve 1n fake made up s7uff all 7he 71me
GF: because its fakey fake bullshit you moron
GF: and if youd take off your tinfoil hat maybe youd see that
MI: me7aphor1cally speak1n6 1 7ake 17 on accoun7 7ha7 1 don'7 ac7ually own a 71nfo1l ha7
GF: you totally do
GF: its just sort of chilling on your head
GF: protecting your thoughts
MI: 1 could 6o 7o 7he k17chen and qu1ckly make one, 1f 17'd help your men7al 1ma6e
GF: and by make one
GF: you mean make another one
MI: sure, alr16h7 7hen
MI: any7h1n6 else 1'm supposed 7o be wear1n6 1n 7h1s men7al 1ma6e of yours 1 should know abou7?
GF: no why the hell would i keep up with your weird paranoia fashions
MI: so 1'm wear1n6 no7h1n6 apar7 from a 71nfo1l ha7?
GF: what
GF: no
GF: thats not what i said
GF: shut up
MI: 17's alr16h7 darl1n6, 1'm only 7eas1n6
GF: youre a dic
GF: k
GF: fuck i cant type because youre such an arsehole
MI: 7hanks for spell1n6 arse correc7ly a7 leas7
GF: shrug when i learnt english thats how i learned it
MI: 6ood for you 7hen
MI: and on 7ha7 bomb shell my 71mes up a6a1n
GF: yeah w/e
GF: my passwords still ugh whatever
MI: and my ques71on 1s
MI: does 7h1s 71nfo1l fedora make my arse look b16
GF: ok great
GF: now weve got that crazy-arse shit sorted out
GF: gtfo before they find you!!
MI: see you around 7hen
GF: ttyl
-- mischievousIllusion [MI] stopped messaging gheraoFairytale [GF] --