>Product Planning (Greentext)

>Maybe some kinda spring loaded mechanism? No, that won't work. Perhaps a tiny aerosol and- oh good, you're back Bonnie!
>Yes, sir. I've brought you your coffee.
>Thanks. Been having some trouble coming up with a new product for Valentine's Day, and I could use a pick me up.
>I wouldn't think caffeine to have an effect on you, sir.
>Blacker than a moonless night, hotter and more bitter than Hell itself. That is coffee, Bonnie.
>I don't follow, sir.
>The point is that it's more about the aroma and the taste, the caffeine is irrelevant.
>Certainly didn't expect you to wax poetic about a beverage.
>What's wrong with appreciating fuel? As a robit you should be able to understand at least that much.
>I run on electricity, sir.
>You're determined to not let me have this aren't you.
>I wouldn't necessarily say determined. That would imply effort on my part.
>Oh ha ha. Just pass me the mug.
>Yes sir.
>...Okay, now hand me a straw.
>Straw?
>Bonnie. I'm wearing a suit, same as you. How the fuck else would I drink it?
>I would assume with a tendril, sir.
>Sure, lemme just do now that in the middle of the day when anyone could just walk in and see.
>You're an unknown unknown in a yellow bear costume that can teleport, sir. I don't think finding out about your, well, "slimier" nature will change anyone's perception of you.
>So what you're saying is...?
>People already think you're a slime ball. Sir.
>Wow, Bonnie. Ice cold. Much like my coffee is going to be if you don't go get me a straw.
>If I must, sir. I'll be right back.

>...Mm. Coffee's not half bad.

By the time the rabbot came back, it would have to fetch him another coffee.



>Alright, back to the drawing board.
>That is a whiteboard, sir.
>Figure of speech, Bonnie. That said, what even is a drawing board if not a whiteboard or a blackboard?
>We don't all just see things in black & white, you know.
>Har. But seriously. I just realized I don't know.
>A drafting table, sir.
>Oh. Never thought to connect the two. Guess I have brain problems.
>Now you're making this too easy sir, giving me an opportunity to insult your intelligence like that.
>Quiet you. Okay I think I've got it. A Valentine's card where when you open it, a puff or light spray of some kind happens that makes the receiver of the card more... let's say "amorous".
>Define "amorous", sir.
>Somewhere around "willing to do butt stuff", should do nicely.
>Why not drop all pretense and just become an E dealer?
>I run a respectable business, Bonnie.
>Respected by who, sir?
>Hey, all those satisfied customers of Diabetes Killer X or the Spider Scrambler don't lie.
>I'm certain I can recall several legal battles over those events in my memory banks.
>Look, do you wanna help me create a love potion or not?
>That sounds like a grave misuse of science, sir.
>Probably, but you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?
>...Fair point.

And then they set to work on making a love agent of some sort. Or a lust facilitator, if we're being honest.



>I'm surprised Bonnie convinced you to help.
>What can I say? Twenty bucks is twenty bucks.
>That. You can say that, Mr. Schmidt.
>Shut up, Bonnie. So what did you need me for, Goldie?
>SCIENCE!
>I don't want to be a guinea pig. I can't see it ending we-agh! The fuck'd you spray me for!? Aw it burns like a motherfucker! You got it in my... Eyes.
>Uh, sir, he's just staring at me.
>Bonnie, you have the most beautiful eyes.
>Mr. Schmidt please cease your approach.
>Hehe I think he likes you, Bonnie!
>Obviously the dosage was too strong, sir.
>Bonnie! Let me lick squishy wet cat food out of your no-no hole!
>What.
>THE DOSAGE WAS ENTIRELY TOO STRONG, SIR.
>Bonnie you have robot strength, it's not like you can't hold him off. Why are you struggling?
>Let me hug the inside of your sphincter, Bonnie!
>How very interesting, it appears to have given him quite the substantial boost in adrenaline.
>SIR HELP
>Right, right. Hey Mike!
>I'm in middle of trying to get into the middle of this sexy rabbot, what is it Goldie?
>What do you think about Foxy?
>Gonna plunder that booty is what I think!
>Wow. And off he goes.
>I don't understand, sir.
>It appears that the dose has made it so whatever subject his mind is currently involved with has its interest increased so much that, in addition to the increased libido, it manifests as really really wanting to fuck it. Welp. It's a start at least, but we'll have to fine tune it.
>Shouldn't we stop him?
>Good question. I want to say no.
>But sir, Foxy has a hook.
>NO SENPAI YAMATE
>Or I guess not? Sounds like Mike worked around it. That said, Mr. Fazbear would get upset so we really should stop this.
>Ha, it's not how I expected Foxy Gets Hooked to go down, but you're right, let's go.

I stopped at 3 to avoid cluttering the thread any further.