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Thread 81: Stories 16-30

Jun 22nd, 2015
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  1. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  2.  
  3. >Chrystal guard
  4. "Changeling Soldiers"
  5. ~~~~~
  6.  
  7. >...Does this feel like overkill to anyone else?
  8.  
  9. Twenty unique sets of shoulders shrugged, but never looked away from the door they were all staring at.
  10.  
  11. >Because, okay, the fact we're at least twenty feet underground of solid crystal, I get that. This place is one of the few ones still standing. The fact we're all armed, a doy... but I'm currently hefting something meant to take out airships, and I'm not even the guy with the biggest piece of firepower here.
  12.  
  13. "We get it."
  14.  
  15. >And the fact it's changelings here too. Hi, by the way, thanks for getting your Queen.
  16.  
  17. "No problem."
  18.  
  19. >Right... so, any reason why?
  20.  
  21. "Because as far as we know, she's in stasis. We hope she is going to STAY in stasis, because if she wakes up there is a very, very real chance she is going to turn into a fire demon thing and start tearing shit up. We currently have enough firepower both entrenched around her and pointed at her that hopefully, if she wakes up, we personally won't have to do a thing. Those seals by the two princesses will, hopefully, eradicate her if she starts to charge up. But if not, we level it."
  22.  
  23. >Okay, that part makes sense, but why isn't anyone allowed near her? I mean... she literally said "Don't let Princess Twilight near her". She said that. That's a thing. Princess. Twilight. The smartest princess, period. Why shouldn't we let her, you know, take a look?
  24.  
  25. "Because that thing was just inside a changeling Queen, and might or might not have mind control powers. She certainly did something to Chitania to make her stare and not just swat her. So, obviously, you do not want to risk getting mind controlled. Twilight's strong... but we don't know what her mind can take."
  26.  
  27. >Soooo-
  28.  
  29. "So we wait until someone with some real fucking mental shielding is in the room before we even consider opening that door."
  30.  
  31. ...
  32.  
  33. >...Anyone got any good stories?
  34.  
  35. "...I once had sex with six mares at once."
  36.  
  37. "YOU FUCKING DID NOT!"
  38.  
  39. >...Go on...
  40.  
  41. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  42.  
  43. NC
  44. ~~~
  45.  
  46. >Subject [REDACTED], female, unicorn, designated as SCP-1 henceforth
  47. >Threat level keter
  48. >Subject appears to be in a coma like state after the C.E. incident
  49. >Possess a twisted EoH, changeling abilities, titan magic in particular.
  50. >After [REDACTED] examination, it has been determined that SCP-1 is suffering from acute soul poisoning and something akin to demonic possession
  51. >Should SCP-1 show any signs of rousing from her coma state, all personel higher than D classification are to be evacuated and the head administrator brought in
  52.  
  53. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  54.  
  55. [Editor's note: What follows are two potential routes Variolus could have taken when she was ended. Whether she faced one or the other is up for you, the reader, to decide.]
  56.  
  57. [Route A: Karma]
  58. >Variolus
  59. „???“
  60. ~~~~~
  61.  
  62. When Sunset Shimmer's alter-ego tore her apart, Variolus only regretted being unable to see how all of this would play out in the end. She could only hope that Sunset Shimmer wouldn't be a royal fuck-up and somehow still manage to ruin it all. Briefly, she muleld over their past interactions, and came to a logical conclusion.
  63.  
  64. >...yep. Total fuck-up. So much for my plan. Hope Chitty breaks a tooth while ripping her jugular out or something.
  65.  
  66. But... how was she mulling over all this? Shouldn't she be facing non-existence, a void of neither sound, smell, touch or even thought? Hadn't Sunset Shimmer said it would be so?
  67.  
  68. Variolus felt warm, comfortable and almost protected. A sense of serene balance was flooding her. Well, that and the smell of burnt hay. A bright light was burning into her vision and she shied away from it.
  69.  
  70. “Walk into the light, sweetie.”
  71.  
  72. >What.
  73.  
  74. “Come to us, we have been waiting for you for the longest time.”
  75.  
  76. >I am so confused right now.
  77.  
  78. “Don't be afraid. Come. You are safe here.”
  79.  
  80. Despite her misgivings, Variolus approached the light. Next thing she knew, she woke up with a start amidst what could be only described as an average little filly's wet dream.
  81.  
  82. Blue sky, green grass with colorful flowers and frolicking, joyful groups of ponies everywhere. All of them laughing merrily, playing games or, in the case of the red-maned stallion and blonde-maned mare before her, grilling hayburgers.
  83.  
  84. Variolus was already doubting their intellect, as the round patties made of hay looked almost charred black. Not to mention that the scenery wanted to make her retch.
  85.  
  86. “Oh my. You aren't our daughter.”
  87.  
  88. >And you aren't fucking Aurelia. Where in Tartarus am I?
  89.  
  90. “Well... I don't rightly know who you are, but you sure talk like her.”
  91.  
  92. “Oh, don't be like that, honey. It could still be her. Maybe she just made... difficult life choices that made her what we see before us.”
  93.  
  94. Oh, great, just what she needed. More moronic ponies.
  95.  
  96. “Either way, welcome! Welcome to eternal bliss!”
  97.  
  98. >Eternal.... bliss...?
  99.  
  100. “Yes, quite. Isn't the afterlife a wonderful affair? Such comforts, such enjoyable company.”
  101.  
  102. Variolus let her eyes wander across the rolling, endless expanse of green and the hundreds of ghostly, pastel-colored shapes milling all about.
  103.  
  104. Then she took one long look at her own, translucent hooves. And everything clicked.
  105.  
  106. >GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, SUNSET!
  107.  
  108. “Awww, my lil' baby is so critical of herself. Want a hayburger, darling?”
  109.  
  110. >FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
  111.  
  112. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  113.  
  114. [Route B: Redemption]
  115. ~~~~~~
  116.  
  117. She was floating.
  118.  
  119. It was a sensation she wasn't expecting, but then again... she wasn't expecting any sensations right now. She was expecting nothingness, or at least the idea of her self as she knew it becoming a million billion tiny little bits as she was absorbed into the being of the one who defeated her. She was expecting everything, and by everything she meant nothing. She had stopped fighting back for this reason, to let it be seen through to the end.
  120.  
  121. Could she have won that fight? She was a Queen, after all, stronger in mind than any pony ever was. She could have fought. Could she have won? ...It didn't matter.
  122.  
  123. Because she couldn't have succeeded. She couldn't have succeeded in her real goal. She needed a fire to summon and control that power, a fire that could not be quenched by anything save a fire greater than her own. She did not have that fire.
  124.  
  125. She did not fight, because it mattered not if she could have won. All that mattered, was success.
  126.  
  127. As such, this sensation, this weightless, senseless feeling, of being somewhere, yet nowhere at all, it baffled her. She had fallen, been devoured. Queen Variolus was no more.
  128.  
  129. ...Wasn't she?
  130.  
  131. "Variolus."
  132.  
  133. A whisper so quiet it could have been the song of a mouse, yet it spoke with so many voices in so many tones it may as well have been deafening. It hurt, tearing into her very being with shockwaves of sound that existed only in her mind.
  134.  
  135. "Variolus."
  136.  
  137. The word was pain, every sound was agony, every voice seemed to be screaming to her, seeking to tear her apart with nothing but her name alone. It hurt her.
  138.  
  139. It hurt her even more when the sensation of sight returned to eyes that could not see, and she saw what was not there.
  140.  
  141. They were one.
  142.  
  143. They were many.
  144.  
  145. They were all around.
  146.  
  147. They were directly in front of her.
  148.  
  149. They were great, and small, and petty, and proud and haunting and beautiful and ugly and oh, oh so very flawed in their diamond like perfection.
  150.  
  151. They were the land she dared not go.
  152.  
  153. ...They were home.
  154.  
  155. "You..."
  156.  
  157. A million billion words were in there, not just what she heard. There was a disunity in that perfect harmony. She heard but one, but it was one of many.
  158.  
  159. "...you failed..."
  160.  
  161. She wept.
  162.  
  163. Openly, as she had centuries ago as she heard of their fall, unable to witness it herself from the darkened, cold corner of the land beyond all things, she wept.
  164.  
  165. "Why do I remain... I was destroyed. My soul... was destroyed."
  166.  
  167. The caress of so many bushed against her chin, crawling against her like ants as they touched upon her chin without ever growing close.
  168.  
  169. "...Your mind, was destroyed. This... is finite."
  170.  
  171. It swam through her, into her brainless skull like a river of fire flowed down the creek of her soul. It showed her, with only that, what it could not put to words.
  172.  
  173. "This... is eternal."
  174.  
  175. That same fire danced upon her.
  176.  
  177. Not anything of her, it danced upon, above, within HER.
  178.  
  179. "...You failed..."
  180.  
  181. The fire went out, and she went limp like a puppet who's strings were cut, hanging in the void beyond all things.
  182.  
  183. She was to be cast back, she knew.
  184.  
  185. She would have preferred the oblivion, the nothingness of all things. Anything was preferable to the endless hell of isolation in a mind that forever hates you. An eternity of never been would be so endlessly better than this torture.
  186.  
  187. She had tried, oh, she had tried to show them, to make up for what she had done.
  188.  
  189. Had she gone too far once more? Had she been too weak, or too strong? Had her lust for salvation blinded her to the truth as surely as her lust for power had before? Had her broken promise been her undoing, or should she have made it at all?
  190.  
  191. She wanted to make this right.
  192.  
  193. She wanted Chitania to win again.
  194.  
  195. That's all she ever wanted, was for her to win again. To give back just a bit, just a little bit of what she had taken. It was so small, it was so insignificant in the scope of things, but it was all she could give and she gave it with all she could.
  196.  
  197. How could she have failed again?
  198.  
  199. Perhaps... perhaps this was the hell she was not banished to...
  200.  
  201. But the hell she deserved.
  202.  
  203. This is what she deserved, and she would fight them no longer on it.
  204.  
  205. Oblivion... was too kind.
  206.  
  207. A thousand billion eyes looked to her, watched her in her darkest moment, her final failure, and she waited for the cackling, the laughter and the mockery of a trillion voices crying out for her pain. She deserved this.
  208.  
  209. She would forever deserve this.
  210.  
  211. "...You failed... to defeat the pony..."
  212.  
  213. What?
  214.  
  215. Who cared of the pony? Who cared of her victory? She didn't care if she was defeated a million times before, mocked forever more as the weakling who was outsmarted and out fought by a one legged filly! She did not care!
  216.  
  217. "WHAT OF CHITANIA!?"
  218.  
  219. Not a word had escaped her lips, but her roar had reverberated through them as surely as the boom of a bomb erupted through the world itself.
  220.  
  221. As one, before her, a thousand billion faces grew still.
  222.  
  223. As one, no longer divided, they spoke but two words.
  224.  
  225. "...you succeeded..."
  226.  
  227. She wept again.
  228.  
  229. She wept with a fever uncaring to all who would see, she wept like a child who's dream had come true, she wept like a mother who had seen their child grow, she wept again, only once more, of joy.
  230.  
  231. She wept, and she waited for the coldness of the edge of this world to take her, fully take her, and become one with it. She would forever deserve this hell... but it would be hell no more, knowing that just once, for just one moment...
  232.  
  233. She had done the right thing.
  234.  
  235. ...But the emptiness never came.
  236.  
  237. "...Come..."
  238.  
  239. It sounded to her, calling into ears that would never hear again, like a horn calling into her. All of her, at once.
  240.  
  241. It called... and she obeyed.
  242.  
  243. Without so much as a single inch changed... she moved.
  244.  
  245. She moved beyond. Not forwards, or backwards, or in any direction at all... but beyond.
  246.  
  247. Beyond all things. This mind, this body, this thing. She was beyond it.
  248.  
  249. For the very first time in all of her existence, Variolus was privvy to see just how empty she had been.
  250.  
  251. She was granted only a single look, before she became... full.
  252.  
  253. Fuller than could ever be put to words. Fuller than any description, song or poem could ever do justice. Nothing ever could match the feeling she felt as the emptiness was gone all away.
  254.  
  255. Gone... and replaced with them.
  256.  
  257. So many many many of them.
  258.  
  259. She was not dissolved away like a drop into an ocean, she did not cease to be as she fell into this open pool of eternity. She, as she is, remained.
  260.  
  261. She became.
  262.  
  263. She became filled with a knowledge that made her want to know the world.
  264.  
  265. She became filled with the voices that left her without a word.
  266.  
  267. She became, as she had never been.
  268.  
  269. She became one.
  270.  
  271. Not one of many.
  272.  
  273. ...One.
  274.  
  275. She had not deserved this gift.
  276.  
  277. She had not deserved this chance.
  278.  
  279. They knew it, she knew it... but they gave it to her anyway.
  280.  
  281. At last, she saw through the eyes of the one who she had hurt, understood why she had once stood tall over them all and shielded them from the world.
  282.  
  283. She let herself feel one last moment of remorse, one last moment of sadness and pain and regret for all she had done in a moment she had been so empty.
  284.  
  285. She felt it in that one last moment... and in the next, they carried it all away.
  286.  
  287. She had been Variolus.
  288.  
  289. She didn't know what she was now.
  290.  
  291. ...but she could only hope, in the end, they could see into what she was, in this heart she laid bear for all of them to see and judge, and know deem her worthy of it.
  292.  
  293. As the sensation filled her even more, she realized... it did not matter if she was worthy.
  294.  
  295. They were a hive.
  296.  
  297. And they would be there, in the end.
  298.  
  299. ...And she would be as well.
  300.  
  301. "Welcome home."
  302.  
  303. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  304.  
  305. >Vekir
  306. "Gwen"
  307. 'Watchdog'
  308.  
  309. "Aw crap, where is it?"
  310.  
  311. >Wherefore is what, Queen Catbird?
  312.  
  313. "My royal seal, we're about to go through Gryphonstone."
  314.  
  315. >Why is the slippery waterdog needed?
  316.  
  317. "What-no, well, you see, after that dragon fried them years ago, the population are a little...obsessed with reclaiming lost wealth."
  318.  
  319. >And?
  320.  
  321. "They will steal literally anything. Which is why I need the Royal Seal to get us through here."
  322.  
  323. 'What's it like a sign that you're royalty and you're all untouchable?'
  324.  
  325. "No, it's shiny and they'll fight over it instead of stealing all the other stuff. Like a bunch of magpies, I swear...oh crap, whereisitwhereisitwhereisit!?"
  326.  
  327. >What could thieving catbirds possibly do-?
  328.  
  329. It happened in an instant, almost as quick as to be unbelievable-nay, supernatural. One moment there were seats, there was armor, there were many valuables...
  330.  
  331. One moment there was a train.
  332.  
  333. In the next there was just a rickety series of platforms careening down the tracks, naked gryphons guards and royals, a Morlock clad only in barrel, and a Diamond Dog's head in a fishbowl.
  334.  
  335. >...huh.
  336.  
  337. "Yyyyep."
  338.  
  339. 'Blblblbl!'
  340.  
  341. >This is much of a rudeness, Queen Catbird!
  342.  
  343. "I know, now we're screwed."
  344.  
  345. >Vekir shall not let this stand! Behold!
  346.  
  347. ...and in the next instant, it was all back. The valuables, the armor, the train, Watchdog's body, and Vekir's armor.
  348.  
  349. Along with the addition of a small crown on her head and a small note begging her to teach them her ways.
  350.  
  351. '...kid, you scare me some times.'
  352.  
  353. >You're welcome!
  354.  
  355. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  356.  
  357. >32
  358. ~~~
  359.  
  360. >Well... that's... a troubling feeling.
  361.  
  362. The changeling known as number Thirty Two wasn't quite sure how to deal with this.
  363.  
  364. First and foremost, he had always considered himself rather skilled in the ways of the mind magics. A fighter to be watched out for on the field of the mind. And yet, with hardly any effort, that changeling had told him to stay put as she rushed off to fight the thing that had blown a hole in her mother, and he had been forced to obey via the whims of a magical spell.
  365.  
  366. That was troubling enough. But the fact this came after the utter destruction of his own mother's body was... unsettling.
  367.  
  368. And then when she was fully supplanted, visibly replaced by some fiery red demon 'thing', he wasn't sure what to make of it.
  369.  
  370. He felt it, deep down in the back of the recesses of his mind. Perhaps an aftereffect of whatever spell she had cast, perhaps a deeper familial connection, but regardless he knew.
  371.  
  372. She was gone.
  373.  
  374. GONE gone.
  375.  
  376. Where she had gone to, he did not know. Where she had ended up, he did not know. If she had even ended up anywhere at all or if there truly was some way to destroy one's soul, he did not know.
  377.  
  378. All he knew was that... she was gone.
  379.  
  380. Gone gone.
  381.  
  382. This left him... mixed.
  383.  
  384. On the one hoof, she was an utterly terrible thing that left him to die in the snow, a beast of a creature who could not have been less worthwhile and manipulated and lied and murdered and...
  385.  
  386. And yet, she was still his mother, and she had, once upon a time, sought him to do the right thing.
  387.  
  388. He had mixed feelings atop this piece of wreckage on which he sat, surveying the land. He had caused this, he knew. His coming here had played right into her hoof. Even at her best, she had still manipulated him like a pawn.
  389.  
  390. And yet, he felt, well, something at the thought she was truly gone this time. He felt... something.
  391.  
  392. He just wasn't sure what, not yet.
  393.  
  394. >...I suppose I'll have to tell her.
  395.  
  396. And he would, of course... hopefully without getting his head blown off for real this time.
  397.  
  398. That would be a pity... he just moved in to his ambassador abode.
  399.  
  400. >Heh... somehow forgot that one, didn't you old chap?
  401.  
  402. He leaned back, looking up to the sky as he thought of his mother once more. Why he looked up? No reason. He very much doubted that even if changelings did have the equivalent of a 'heaven', she would be allowed within a hundred miles of the place.
  403.  
  404. "I hope you found what you were looking for."
  405.  
  406. The words escaped them before he had even thought of them for a second. Shortly, he wanted to curse himself, to hit himself for ever saying something so stupid. She was a monster, a beast, a manipulating thing that deserved no love from him or any other, ever.
  407.  
  408. So why... why was he smiling?
  409.  
  410. >I wonder... if you had the chance would you have said goodbye this time?
  411.  
  412. He very much doubted it.
  413.  
  414. She didn't seem the type.
  415.  
  416. >...I think I would have...
  417.  
  418. A strange chill swept by him, a throbbing in his head at it was stung by the bitter cold. But it past, shortly enough.
  419.  
  420. >Goodbye... Mother.
  421.  
  422. Around him, the wind grew still... and stopped.
  423.  
  424. >Now... how the fuck do I explain how badly I fucked up and keep her from popping off my head like a grape?
  425.  
  426. The world, on a dime, grew silent.
  427.  
  428. He was just a little bitter as he stood, and started making his way to the portal.
  429.  
  430. >...thanks, big help. You know who's more helpful than you? I'm serious here, I would rather have Reg...gie.......or....................................................FUCK!
  431.  
  432. It's been one of those days.
  433.  
  434. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  435.  
  436. >10
  437. {BBB}
  438. ~~~
  439.  
  440. >ARE YOU FREAKADOODLE KIDDING ME!?
  441.  
  442. {BZZT! ERROR! LACK OF CONSISTENCY IN MAP DATA FOR CRYSTAL EMPIRE!}
  443.  
  444. >You see this baloney, BBB!? You see this!? I was here all day yesterday! ALL DAY YESTERDAY, and nothing freaking happened! Nothing ever happens with this place! It's boring! So the one time, the ONE time we decide to interview a chineighs restaurant and branch out into food reviews, LOOK AT WHAT FUDDLY DO HAPPENS!
  445.  
  446. {...Bzzt, error, disingenuous sincerity detected.}
  447.  
  448. >I WAS TOTALLY DOING FOOD REVIEWS!
  449.  
  450. {Bzzt, correction, reviewing how much food.}
  451.  
  452. >NOT THE TIME BBB!
  453.  
  454. {BZZT, addendum, increased weight and higher cholesterol content detected.}
  455.  
  456. >I DO NOT... fine, I'll hit the gym.
  457.  
  458. {...bzzt.}
  459.  
  460. >I WILL! But first we need to get the scoop on WHY THE FRICKAFRACKA SHISH BOOM BA THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE IS A PILE OF RUBBLE!
  461.  
  462. {...Bzzt, auditory detection processing... processing...}
  463.  
  464. >...
  465.  
  466. {...No casualties reported. Hive and Queen are sustained.}
  467.  
  468. >...Thanks, BBB.
  469.  
  470. {BZZT.}
  471.  
  472. >Now... let's get interviewing! Giddyup!
  473.  
  474. {BZZT! SUGGESTION, WALKING BURNS UP TO-}
  475.  
  476. >FINE!... Friggen best camerapony... friggen hate that he's just looking out for me... friggen love me some chineighs...
  477.  
  478. {...bzzt...}
  479.  
  480. >DON'T YOU START AGAIN!
  481.  
  482. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  483.  
  484. >Doctor
  485. "Doctors"
  486. 'Nurse'
  487. ~~~~
  488.  
  489. >Okay, so... does ANYONE know how to treat love-burnout on a changeling?
  490.  
  491. "Nope."
  492.  
  493. "Nada."
  494.  
  495. "I knew I shouldn't have skipped out on Princess Twilight seminar!"
  496.  
  497. "It was literally 'how to fix a broken changeling', we ALL skipped that one."
  498.  
  499. "I had shit to do. Not-fixing-changelings related shit."
  500.  
  501. >Well, now we've got a Queen changeling in the room, and nobody knows what the fuck to do!
  502.  
  503. "...Just stick the IV in her arm with some morphine and adjust it every few minutes while staring broodingly at a chart?"
  504.  
  505. >Damn it, mare! They're catching on to defense runner alpha!
  506.  
  507. "Huddle around and point at a chalkboard with a drawing of random body parts while mumbling at each other?"
  508.  
  509. >How many times can we pull the humble? How!?
  510.  
  511. "...blame it on the nurse?"
  512.  
  513. >DAMN IT, NURSE! I said I needed a SEVENTEEN millimeter scalpel! This is a sixteen!
  514.  
  515. "The help these days, I swear."
  516.  
  517. '...Why don't you just ask someone what to do? I mean, someone besides Princess Twilight learned this, right? We treated those three that came in a bit ago, after that invasion. Get those doctors?'
  518.  
  519. >....
  520.  
  521. "..."
  522.  
  523. '...You were those doctors, weren't you?'
  524.  
  525. >We fell back on rule six. When in doubt, wrap a bandage around some body part and pretend it fixed everything.
  526.  
  527. 'I think the princess jumped the gun leaving her here.'
  528.  
  529. >DAMN IT, NURSE!
  530.  
  531. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  532.  
  533. NC
  534. >Twilight
  535. "Chrysalis"
  536. ~~~~
  537.  
  538. "WHAT!? YOU WANT TO HOLD A SEMINAR ON OUR BIOLOGY!?"
  539.  
  540. >Yeah, mostly about treating specific wounds to your species.
  541.  
  542. "Why would I need that!?"
  543.  
  544. >...Why would you need to be treated in case you were injured by, like, love drain or something? Hell, we just need a way to treat you guys in general by someone not me.
  545.  
  546. "Bah! Why would I need something like THA-
  547.  
  548. TOSS!
  549.  
  550. "GLK!"
  551.  
  552. >...
  553.  
  554. "HRKKK GLGLGL! GLLGGLGLGL!"
  555.  
  556. >...
  557.  
  558. "GUH! UHGUH! HUUHHHHGGGH!"
  559.  
  560. >...
  561.  
  562. "GLGLGLLlglg....gl..."
  563.  
  564. >...
  565.  
  566. PUNCH!
  567.  
  568. "HRK!"
  569.  
  570. Splat.
  571.  
  572. >...
  573.  
  574. "...is there any particular reason you just chucked a grape down my windpipe and then watched me choke?"
  575.  
  576. >...
  577.  
  578. "..."
  579.  
  580. >...
  581.  
  582. "...wait...'
  583.  
  584. >...
  585.  
  586. "...wait..."
  587.  
  588. >...
  589.  
  590. "...So, want to go over some seminar stuff?"
  591.  
  592. >Sounds like a plan.
  593.  
  594. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  595.  
  596. NC
  597. >Scientist
  598. "Applejack"
  599. ~~~~~~
  600.  
  601. >Oh, come on! You couldn't even put me in the same cage as my wife!?
  602.  
  603. "NO."
  604.  
  605. >But I-
  606.  
  607. "NO."
  608.  
  609. >I just wanna-
  610.  
  611. "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO."
  612.  
  613. >...You're just jealous because your spouse wouldn't want to turn into a badass tiger-wolf hybrid.
  614.  
  615. "YA'LL HAD YER SHOT!"
  616.  
  617. >I might be going to prison and they aren't co-ed last I checked! SUE ME!
  618.  
  619. "NOTHIN' ABOUT THIS IS OKAY"
  620.  
  621. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  622.  
  623. >Pinkie
  624. "AJ"
  625. ~~~
  626.  
  627. "WOOOOHOOOOO!"
  628.  
  629. >Hey, AJ?"
  630.  
  631. "Don't bug me now, Pinkie! Ah'm RIDIN'!"
  632.  
  633. >Uh, look. I just wanted to ask you something really quick.
  634.  
  635. "This is gonna be terrible, ain't it?"
  636.  
  637. >It's just, we're bringing them ALL in, right?
  638.  
  639. "Right? Examinin' and findin' out the best way ta' deal with them, that's our job."
  640.  
  641. >...So we're going to examine all of them?
  642.  
  643. "..."
  644.  
  645. >ALL of them? Individually?
  646.  
  647. "..."
  648.  
  649. >...Isn't that going to be a lot of- and you are crying... uh...
  650.  
  651. "W-why couldn't ya' let me have this..."
  652.  
  653. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  654.  
  655. >Crystal Pony
  656. "Crystal Guard"
  657. ~~~~~
  658.  
  659. "F-f-f-f-f-fuck it's cold."
  660.  
  661. >We know.
  662.  
  663. "Why is it so freaking cold!?"
  664.  
  665. >We knooow.
  666.  
  667. "Why do we-"
  668.  
  669. >WE DON'T KNOW, OKAY!? NOBODY KNOWS WHY WE LIVE HERE! NOBODY KNOWS WHY WE DECIDED A GIANT ICE PLACE IS WHERE WE NEEDED TO BE! NOBODY KNOWS WHY WE ARE HERE OR WHY WE STAY! OKAY!? WE DON'T KNOW! WE! DON'T! KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
  670.  
  671. "....it's cold."
  672.  
  673. >Here's a blanket.
  674.  
  675. "Thanks."
  676.  
  677. >...
  678.  
  679. "...this sucks."
  680.  
  681. >Yeah, it kind of does.
  682.  
  683. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  684.  
  685. Non-Canon
  686. >Pinkie
  687. "Luna"
  688. ~~~~~
  689. >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I'm too busy at the Roxbury dance floor to care! Now for our main guest...DJ-PON3!!!
  690.  
  691. She waves waves for a moment and continues DJing.
  692. >She's busy at the moment, but that doesn't mean we can't-
  693. Spots Luna drinking.
  694. >...Princess Luna?
  695.  
  696. "Pink one. What an unexpected surprise...another drink!"
  697.  
  698. >What are you doing here?
  699.  
  700. "We could ask the same of you. Why are you in the dream city's version of the Roxbury?"
  701.  
  702. >I'm just hanging out with my friends.
  703. Luna blinks and Pinkie's cardboard versions of her friends appear and party.
  704. >They need to be taken out sometimes.
  705.  
  706. "...we wonder how healthy is your relationship with your cardboard company."
  707.  
  708. >It's perfectly fine! Now I wonder if I'll be seeing Madame Leflour and Rocky here.
  709.  
  710. "..."
  711.  
  712. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  713.  
  714. ~~~
  715.  
  716. At what point an impromptu dance-off had started on the back of this giant thing, Applejack should probably be questioning more.
  717.  
  718. But fuck it if she wasn't joining in.
  719.  
  720. "WHEEEEE!"
  721.  
  722. Likewise, she should probably have questioned how Pinkie could breakdance like that without snapping every damned bone in her body.
  723.  
  724. She wouldn't.
  725.  
  726. "Of course you would be enjoying this."
  727.  
  728. "Ah'm enjoyin' it too."
  729.  
  730. "Pfft, even Forty Two's hoof has been tapping for a bit."
  731.  
  732. The soldier instantly fwooshed a ring of fire around her, hiding away the blush that had covered her face quicker than most could see. The look of a stoic soldier glared at them, all of them, hard.
  733.  
  734. Her leg took another second to stop.
  735.  
  736. "Heh... it was quite an adventure to go on together, wasn't it Poppet?"
  737.  
  738. The other solider in their midst leaned back against his impromptu 'chair', a smile wide and bright on his face.
  739.  
  740. "I'm just happy I got to see some action again! TBDRLIATU hungered, and he fed!"
  741.  
  742. He chuckled, rubbing a hoof to her head.
  743.  
  744. "I suppose you were always going to find a life of action in here somewhere."
  745.  
  746. "Pfft, obviously."
  747.  
  748. "Obviously indeed... I suppose I missed it quite a lot as well. Looking after my sister is rewarding, but oh how I hunger for days like this sometimes. A time of fights, of battles and of wars... I'm realize it might be a touch messed up, but I admit I missed it."
  749.  
  750. "Pfft, obviously! When else do we get to show off like this!"
  751.  
  752. "To think... you almost missed it."
  753.  
  754. "Ha! Yeah right!"
  755.  
  756. To the shock of some, but only those who did not know them all that well, Diamond Tiara strutted up and slung one of her smaller limbs around Forty Two's shoulders.
  757.  
  758. "We're the A-team! She wouldn't leave me behind."
  759.  
  760. A tiny little smirk crept on the hard lips, but they all saw it.
  761.  
  762. "Hrmph... it wouldn't be the same if we weren't all here."
  763.  
  764. "Doy!"
  765.  
  766. The laughter was light and happy, as it should have been Applejack supposed, but something about that made her feel, well, wrong.
  767.  
  768. "That bad, huh?"
  769.  
  770. And of course he was there, her little dragon assistant once more. Just waiting in the wings to come to her when she lost a bit of luster.
  771.  
  772. "Yeaah... guess it ain't really right, though. She did pretty damn good down there. Guess... guess Ah' was bein' silly, wasn't Ah'?"
  773.  
  774. "Are you implying it was silly to try to keep a grade-schooler from being involved in a subcontracted military unit? Uh, no. No it was not."
  775.  
  776. "Sure don't feel that way..."
  777.  
  778. "Are you seriously trying to be grumpy right now?"
  779.  
  780. A cyan hoof pressed down on her, nearly knocking her to her knees with the sudden weight. Shortly after came the knocking to the side of her head.
  781.  
  782. "Heelloooo! We just beat a whole fortress of evil scientists! I think we can have one friggen day without the moping!"
  783.  
  784. "They weren't all evil-"
  785.  
  786. "NEH! Stop it with the whole grey mentality thing until they get processed. Right now, we beat a whole bunch of evil supervillains and that is that!"
  787.  
  788. A white hoof shot between them, shoving her off before she could finish bringing Applejack low.
  789.  
  790. "Just like old times, isn't it darling?"
  791.  
  792. "We never fought a mad scientist! I would know! I kept track!"
  793.  
  794. Pinkie appeared next, holding a rather detailed diagram in front of her.
  795.  
  796. "See!? No scientists!"
  797.  
  798. "Well, we did defeat misunderstood ponies who misused greater magics."
  799.  
  800. "...okay, we did do that! But this is new because for once, the chaos was on our side!"
  801.  
  802. Blushing, Fluttershy hid herself away, smiling faintly behind the waterfall of pink hair. Forty Two had bit of a chuckle at that.
  803.  
  804. "And this is most certainly not like old times, Seven didn't get hospitalized or get his ass kicked this time! What a new experience for you!"
  805.  
  806. It was a little mean, everyone there knew it was a little mean.
  807.  
  808. But damn did they laugh as said changeling harrumphed.
  809.  
  810. "Awww, don't be like that sugar cube, ya' did great. A plus, all round. Ah'd hire ya."
  811.  
  812. Okay, it was a pat on the shoulder instead of on the head.
  813.  
  814. But DAMN did it feel good.
  815.  
  816. "Yes, considering how certain someponies were making life quite difficult, you managed."
  817.  
  818. Having long been briefed of her actions, all eyes rolled back annoyed to the blue earth pony further back.
  819.  
  820. The one who was now in a straight jacket, in a cage, and wearing a muzzle.
  821.  
  822. "She said sorry... well, okay, she didn't say it, but she's totally thinking it! That counts, right?"
  823.  
  824. Twelves pleads fell on deaf ears.
  825.  
  826. "Let's just get you home, alright? Yer' Queen's gonna blow a dang gasket at this rate."
  827.  
  828. "H-heh... yeah..."
  829.  
  830. Applejack knew he still couldn't believe it, even as he was literally looking at them all right here.
  831.  
  832. His Queen. Chrysalis, of all changelings, had sent all of... this! All of this for little old him! All because she thought he was in trouble!
  833.  
  834. She really did not have it in her to mention that only she was supposed to be there, and that Seven, Forty Two and Seventy Seven were actually ordered NOT to be there.
  835.  
  836. "Ya'll can tell her all about it when ya'll get home, Sugar cube, just gotta wait for the-"
  837.  
  838. "TRAAACCKKKKS!"
  839.  
  840. "...no, Twilight, we ain't gotta wait for those, on account'a we're-"
  841.  
  842. "OH FUCK TRAAAAACKS!"
  843.  
  844. "M-meep!"
  845.  
  846. "...Ah' feel like Ah'm missin'' somethin'."
  847.  
  848. Her attention returned to the path in front of her, the path that had been mostly empty snow and straight tracks for a good long while now.
  849.  
  850. And she looked over, and over, and over.. to the tracks.
  851.  
  852. More specifically, the lack of tracks.
  853.  
  854. The lack of tracks caused by the giant chunk of crystal that had torn them apart.
  855.  
  856. "Oh, Ah' see.... OH FUCK OH FUCK!"
  857.  
  858. "APPLEJACK STOP!"
  859.  
  860. "WHERE'S THE BREAKS ON THIS THING!? HOW DO YA' STOP IT!?"
  861.  
  862. "T-TOO LATE! WE'RE GOING TOO FAST! WE'RE GOING TO HIT IT!"
  863.  
  864. "REALLY?! LIKE THIS!? AH'M SERIOUSLY GONNA DIE LIKE THIS!? THIS IS THE GAD DANGED BIGGEST LOAD O' BULLS-"
  865.  
  866. "What the devil are you all worried about?"
  867.  
  868. All eyes, in the brief moment before they hit, turned to the head scientist who was one part honestly curious, one part amused.
  869.  
  870. Their attention SHOULD have been to the side, when all one hundred legs snapped away from the tracks, turning off it's electric cackling, and in perfect unison walked forwards and over the shrapnel and rubble, before easily snapping back onto the tracks that followed and resuming it's previous pace.
  871.  
  872. "...Oh, right, it's a giant centipede... er, thank, big guy?"
  873.  
  874. He, at least she hoped it was a he or she was going to look like a dick, hissed something at her and kept going.
  875.  
  876. "Totally forgot this was, like, a living thing."
  877.  
  878. The hissing returned, a little offended sounded.
  879.  
  880. "Holy Faust, this guy is SO USEFUL!... I mean, admittedly, the lack of actual cars is a problem, and making them is probably violating several laws of nature, and the lack of shielding from the elements is probably dangerous, along with no restraints, and of course the electricity thing is super dangerous, but in this one particular instance HOLY FAUST were you useful!"
  881.  
  882. ...The centitrain didn't know how to take that.
  883.  
  884. "WOO HOO! Well, we're gonna have ta' tell them ta' fix that when we get off, because the minute we get ta' the Empire we're... we're gonna...g-gonnnaaaa..."
  885.  
  886. As the Centitrain slowed down it's breakneck pace, easing into the station that all noted was quiet bereft of any shielding, not a single eye could be pulled away from the wreckage, the rubble, the utter lack of all life in the bitter cold and the horror that lie beyond with the helping stains of some kind of strange blood atop so many of the ruined buildings.
  887.  
  888. Thankfully, Pinkie eventually had the sense to reach over, and turn her party music off.
  889.  
  890. "....SHHIIIINNNNNNYYYYYYYY!"
  891.  
  892. She was gone before any could even blink, a purple rocket soaring through the snow in search of her big brother at speeds that were, mildly put, quite unsafe.
  893.  
  894. "SISTER!"
  895.  
  896. Seventy Seven jumped next, already in a fully sprint as he tore through the snow. The agent Seven was right behind him, crowing out a call for his Queen all the while.
  897.  
  898. Forty Two gave nothing but a gurgled, jumbled mess of a scream, no doubt several names colliding at once, as she too tore off at blinding speeds.
  899.  
  900. So fast, they swore it looked like she had just up and vanished.
  901.  
  902. All of those left had ones they knew down there, of course, but they could not tear themselves away from the dream like, or rather nightmare like state as they looked upon the devastation, and horror.
  903.  
  904. "...ARE YA' SERIOUS!? WE WERE ONLY GONE FER' A FEW HOUUURS!"
  905.  
  906. That out of her system, Applejack got to work.
  907.  
  908. "Guess party time is over..."
  909.  
  910. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  911.  
  912. NC SO NC
  913. >Applejack
  914. "??"
  915. ~~
  916.  
  917. >...H-heeyyyy, Ah' uh... Ah' brought the changeling. Ya' see this? Can Ah'... Can Ah' sign this off with someone? Ah' don't wanna... ya'll look busy, just, super busy. Sorry that ya'll look so busy. Ah' just... Ah' went through a lotta trouble and- well Ah' guess ya' clearly went through some trouble yer'self so that don't mean much.... hiiiiii... gonna... gonna just.. can we turn this centitrain around? We can? Ah'll be... Ah'll be right back.
  918.  
  919. ZOOOM!
  920.  
  921. "...And ponies thought I was awkward..."
  922.  
  923. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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