Chapter 35

“How bad is it?” you asked.

“Bad.” Said Decara.

“I know it’s bad. I asked HOW bad.”

Decara fidgeted. “I don’t think you’re going to get jumped, if that’s what you’re asking.”

You inhaled through your teeth. “Business as usual then. Let’s go.”

The succ squad pushed through the doors to the mess hall. You followed close behind them, huddled in the middle with Brez. Real standup guy, Brez. He was pretty understanding about the whole gangrape thing after he had gotten used to it.

Chatter tapered off as the other monsters took notice of your posse. Moving through the line as quickly as you could, the succubi ushered you to a seat.

Maranth had put up the fliers for the contest, just like she said she would. The magic users were abuzz with excitement. It seemed like it was an even split between monsters excited to show off and the ones that just wanted your mana.

The mages weren’t who you were concerned about though.

Making it a magic contest was clearly not a decision made by popular vote. The non-mage monsters were all grumbling about being cheated out of a chance to compete. Even a few of the less skilled magi were bitter. And now they were taking it out on you. Never before had you been called a slut so many times in such a short timeframe.

“Hey Anon, if you’re pimping yourself out, I’ll give you a copper to lick my feet.” Said a passing high orc. The rest of the orcs laughed and cheered at their leader’s prosaic banter.

“Are mana potions that big of a deal here? I mean, they were in high demand in Admaz too, but I never got this treatment for making one there…” you whispered to the succubi.

“They’re just jealous. If it was any other competition, they’d be swallowing their sausages whole so they could get out to the training field faster.” Said Brez.

“I guess most monsters just see giving away your semen like that as a bit of a whore move.” Said the snarky succubus.

“Well it’s not like I had a choice!” you said.

“Oh, yeah. Getting married. Thank Druella you avoided that awful fate…”

“I’ll marry who I damn well please.” You said.

“Hmph. That’s the kind of attitude that shows you’re from a different world. You can try to hold out if you want, but don’t expect monsters to respect your chastity as much as you do.” Said the motherly succubus.

“I know what this place is like. After the fifth or sixth rape attempt, you start to notice a pattern.” You said.

“It’s not so bad. Anon doesn’t even have to be involved in the competition anymore. All he had to do was provide the potion.” Said the quiet succ.

“True enough. Maranth hasn’t roped me into BEING at the competition. Unless she says otherwise, I’m washing my hands of this whole affair.” You said.

“I’m more worried about what happens AFTER this is all over. I doubt that the other students are willing to just let this go. Not with their bloated egos…” said Decara.

“Do you think they’ll have another competition?” you asked.

“It’s possible. If enough mamono ask Maranth, there’s a good chance she’ll get you to make more spirit supplement. Especially if the winner of this competition is the gloating type.” Said Brez. “Just out of curiosity, have you ever seen a monster drink one of your potions?”

“Yeah…”

Poor Buera… As far as you knew, only two monsters had ever snarfed your spirit supplement, and it hadn’t ended well for either of them.

“What kind of response is that? What happened to them?” asked the smugcubuss.

“Nothing good. Let’s just say that I don’t think many monsters will be jealous when they see what happens…”

The succubi looked at each other.

“I bet it was the taste. Maybe people from his world just produce extra foul supplement.” Said the dumb succubus.

“No, moron. All supplement tastes bad. That’s why they put it in liquid in the first place.”

“It COULD taste worse…”

 “Well, I’m not too worried about this. Making potions or supplement is something I can handle. Getting squashed between my mattress and an ogre isn’t. Now, I know you lot said that you were going to find me leads for other mamono who would be willing to help me during the Dash. Have you come up with anything?” you said.

The succubi all looked away.

“Nothing? Not ONE monster?” you asked incredulously.

“Supporting you isn’t exactly a popular sentiment, you know.”

“Yeah! Everyone’s already jealous that we got Brez early. Convincing the others is hard!”

“If most of them didn’t want to ravage you already, you wouldn’t need us in the first place.”

“First of all, don’t say ravage. I don’t like how romantic that makes rape sound. Second, how many monsters have you actually talked to?” you demanded.

“Lots!”

“Tons!”

“Everyone I meet!”

“Wow, really? Were you guys doing that when it wasn’t your turn with Brez?”

The dumbcubuss gulped as the others glared at her.

“Please… PLEASE tell me that you have ACTUALLY been trying to rally support for me and not just fucking your husband.” You said dragging your hands down your face.

“… Yeah.”

“When we get a chance.”

“I asked someone today.” Offered Decara.

Right. Of course. Wonderful. Honestly, you had only yourself to blame. Giving the succubi Brez was like giving a hobo access to a buffet under the condition that he does your taxes. This was never going to work…

“Fine. I’ll just do it myself.” You said wiping your face and standing up.

“You will?”

“Oh, that’s a relief.”

“I’ll say. The guilt was starting to annoy me.”

“Now we can spend even MORE time with you~” said the motherly succubus holding Brez.

“Hey!” you snapped.

They turned their attention back to you.

“That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook!” you said.

“But you said-“

“I was guilt tripping you! Need I remind you that I am only asking for your help because you hairbrained harlots neglected to mention that you would be absent the ONE NIGHT I needed you most?” you seethed.

The succubi groaned and sighed.

“Yeah, fine. We’ll keep looking. Whoever isn’t with Brez can go campaign for the soon-to-be-raped here.” Said the smugcubuss.

You dropped off your tray and left. Fucking succubi…

~~~~~~

“Hey MEAT. Is something wrong?”

Demoto looked back at you with concern. Her snake tail flicked its tongue at you, trying to catch your scent.

“Just busy trying to plan my future.” You sighed.

“Are you worried about the competition? DON’T worry. I’ll win for you~” she said with a lick of her lips. Her eyes narrowed and glinted as her tone changed from concern to confidence.

“You’re entering?”

“Sure am. I think anyone with enough magic to lift a quill is throwing in for that SWEET, SWEET mana.”

“Bullshit. I thought most mages weren’t even going to bother. Half of them don’t stand a chance.” You said.

“Right you are! For that last part. The WEAKLINGS will be crushed the second they set hoof on that field. But it isn’t about winning for them, it’s about HAVING THE GUTS to show up even when you aren’t going to win.” Said Demoto.

“Is that why you’re entering?” you asked.

Demoto glared at you. “I’m IN IT TO WIN IT, Anon.” Her expression softened. “So have a little faith and cheer me on, okay?~”

“Sure. Give ‘em hell.” You said.

Demoto beamed at you and went back to the work on her desk. Her snake tail continued to watch you. Eugh, did this thing even blink?

“Sorry, but Anon has already pledged his support to ME.” Said Voso.

“I haven’t.” you said. “I’m not even worried about this whole fiasco. If one of you wins, great. But I’ve got bigger problems than deciding who to cheer for.”

“You have to hope SOMEONE will win.” Insisted Voso.

“Why?”

“Whoever wins that potion is going to come for you if they like what they taste.” Said Voso.

“Then it looks like I’m off the hook.” You said.

“I’m serious! If they like your mana, it’s almost certain that they’ll try and secure you. And if they do, it won’t be as easy as swatting away the amazons and ogres that have been bothering you so far.” Said Voso.

“And they’ll get beat down by the other students. Just like every other time someone has tried to take a bite out of me.” You said with a shrug.

Voso squirmed and rubbed her ribs where the harpy had kicked her. “That may be true, but if it’s a high-level mage we’re talking about, the other students might not be able to stop her…”

“Then I’ll stop her myself.” You said proudly.

Rhodon snorted and coughed as she tried to keep her composure. Demoto shook her head. Voso gave you a tight-lipped glare.

“You are far and away the most ARROGANT human I’ve ever met, you know that? I’ll say this because I care about you Anon: you don’t stand a CHANCE against the kind of magic I’m talking about.” Said Voso.

“Just let him go, Voso. He’s as good as raped. If I were you, I’d be less worried about him and more concerned with finding a date to his ‘wedding’.” Snickered Rhodon.

Voso grit her teeth and turned back to the front of the room. “Not while I’m still breathing…”

Raigill entered and began collecting the homework you had forgotten about. Surely this competition wasn’t that important. The winner would collect their prize and that would be the end of it. It was a cum-jar for fuck’s sake. Nothing that would give anyone a claim to you. Pacolo would know more about this. You could ask her today. Wetting your quill, you began to scrawl out notes as Raigill began to lecture about the proper way to disarm a tripwire.

~~~~~~

“The contest? Of course I’ve heard of it.” Said Colo. “All my friends in the magic class are entering. In fact, the ignis wanted to know how you felt about heat-play.”

“I’m serious.” You said.

“So am I! I think this might be it for you, no offence. My guess is that you’re going to get wife’d before the Dash even happens.”

You pulled your hood lower as a passing centaur gawked at you. Colo had been adamant that you get “a tour of the Valisias,” so here you were trekking through streets and alleyways filled with sex-criminals and rape-cultists. She had promised that the café wasn’t far, but far probably had a much different meaning to someone who teleported everywhere.

“If I don’t LAST to the Dash the deals off.” You muttered.

“Hey! That wasn’t the agreement. You’re helping me now whether you like it or not.” Said Colo stuffing a fluffy finger in your face. “Otherwise I’ll introduce you to a whole TRIBE of ocelomeh.”

“Oh? Just keep in mind that if you want my help, you’ll have to pry me away from whatever I get married to.” You said.

Colo huffed and floated ahead to look around the corner.

“There it is.” She whispered.

You stood under her. It looked like a normal little café. A small, two-story house/business stuffed snuggly between the two neighboring buildings. The sandwich board sign out front advertised drinks and a few meals you didn’t recognize.

“Alright, let’s go.” You said.

“Wait!” yipped Colo yanking you back by your shoulder.

“What?! What is it?!” you said raising your barriers.

“I’m not ready yet…” said Colo.

“That’s it?!”

“Shut up! If this was easy, I wouldn’t need your help.” Said Colo. She took a deep breath and spun around a few times in the air.
You leaned back against the brick wall behind you and watched the crowd of monsters slowly grow around you. A lizard man frowned and pointed at you while whispering something to the salamander next to her.

“Pacolo…” you whispered.

“I know! Fine! Calm down!” snapped Colo. “You go in first, and I’ll come in after you. Just watch what I do and then we’ll go back to the Academy to talk about it.” She said.

Fine by you. Sallying forth, you slipped away from the proto-crowd and scuttled across the busy road to the café. A small bell greeted you as you slipped inside.

“Hello, welcome! Please, take a seat anywhere.” Said the man working at the counter.

That must be Guyan. He fit the description Colo had given you. You were about to respond when the door opened behind you and nearly knocked you to the ground.

“Hey!” you said.

Colo’s blanched face looked at you in terror for a second before she retreated through the door and slammed it shut. You took a seat in the corner, away from the other patrons and hid yourself behind a menu. Colo reentered the café after an awkward pause, bright red and trembling in the air.

“Colo! I told you not to prank customers while you’re in here.” Chided Guyan.

Colo grinned. “Aww, you know I can’t help it~” she hovered over to a booth at the other end of the café and began fidgeting in the seat.

He smiled and shook his head. “Sorry about that. I’ve tried everything to get rid of her and she keeps coming back.”

“It’s fine.” You said.

He walked over with his notepad and a piece of charcoal. “So, have you dined with us before? You don’t look family- hey…”

Guyan pulled the menu down a bit to get a better look at your face under the cloak.

“You’re that human, aren’t you! The one that they cracked out of a comet!” said Guyan excitedly.

“Shh!” you clamped his mouth shut with magic. He dropped his pad and tried to claw the magic muzzle off. “I think you have your unsubstantiated gossip mixed up, but yes, I am probably the human you’re referring to. I would ask that you PLEASE not make a scene while I’m just trying to enjoy a day out on the town.”

Guyan nodded and you let him go.

“I’m sorry, I just never expected someone like you to ever come in here!” he said.

“Whatever you’ve heard about me is probably false. I’m just a normal human.” You said.

“That’s a relief. Everyone said you were a dick.” Said Guyan.

Hey!

“No sir, no dickery here.” You said holding up your hands disarmingly.

He smiled. “Then, can I get you started with anything Mr….”

“Anon.” you said. “Let’s see… I’ll have a… uh…”

Oh, right. You were borderline illiterate. Some of these words made sense, but it looked like this was one of those gourmand cafes with all sorts of novel dishes and unusual takes on the food they served.

“Just a glass of water to start.” You said snapping the menu shut.

Guyan frowned. “Are you sure? Water? We have an excellent fruit cocktail-mead infusion drink that’s been very popular right now.”

“Does it have a lot of alcohol in it?” you asked.

“A fair bit, yes.”

“Then I’ll pass. I uh… Have homework to do when I get home! Can’t get drunk until it’s done.” You said with a chuckle.

“Oh, I see. Perhaps some other time. I’ll bring that water right out.” He said.

You sighed and slumped back into the booth. Better think of something to order fast before he came back.

“What are you doing?!”

Your knees ricocheted off the underside of the table as you started. Colo’s mouth was floating next to your leg, under the table. Some of the other customers glanced in your direction.

“What do you MEAN what am I doing?” you said.

“Shut up! Keep your voice down!” said the mouth. “I MEAN stop hogging Guyan! He’s supposed to be talking to ME!”

You picked up the menu and covered your face again. “Then TALK to him. You haven’t said a word since you got in here.”

“I’m working on it!” snarled Colo.

“… And here we are!” said Guyan returning with a glass of water. Colo’s mouth vanished. “Have you thought about what you want to order?”

“I have a few ideas.” You lied. “But first I just wanted your input: which of these dishes has the least amount of demonic energy?”

Guyan’s brow furrowed. “Pardon?”

“Of all these dishes, which has the least amount of taint in it? The ingredients I mean. Something that if a pure human ate it, wouldn’t turn them into an incubus.” You said.

“I… I’ve never thought about that… give me a moment.”

Guyan disappeared into the kitchen.

“Stop making him run back and forth so much!”

An older succubus shushed you when your legs bounced off the table again. Seizing the falling water glass with your magic, you set it straight as the ice inside clacked against the glass.

“Stop doing that!” you said to the mouth.

“You’re supposed to be getting him to talk to me!”

“He just wants my order!”

“THEN ORDER FASTER!”

The patrons nearest to you whipped their heads around. A troll casually leaned over a bit to see if anyone was under your table. You lifted the menu higher.

“Would you shut u-“ Oh. She was already gone. Colo was staring intently at the wall with her ears flattened against her head. Her slender tail was fully bristled and she was anxiously trying to smooth it back into shape.

“Sorry about that, Dad says he’s never been asked that question either! Looks like the boar medallions over the herb salad with the nuts and fruit reduction is the least corrupted meal we have.” said Guyan.

“Great, I’ll take that.” You said.

“And you’re sticking with water?”

“Yes, thank you.” You smiled.

“Certainly! I’ll put that right in!” said Guyan.

“Oh waiter!~ Come take MY order~” called Colo waving him over. Her signature grin looked a mite less confident now that she was chatting up her crush.

“Yeah, I’m coming. I don’t see why I have to write down what you want every time when you always order the same thing.” Snorted Guyan.
At least she had the gumption to talk to the guy. Some of the monsters you’d met so far had been less than the seductresses the encyclopedia had made them out to be… One shy succubus had taken two months to attempt to ask you to marry her in Admaz. You gently let her down, and you never saw her again. Actually, Morala losing her mind and trying to get rid of anyone who came into contact with you might have been the explanation for her lack of persistence… Yeesh.

“How was that?”

Your water glass almost slipped out of your hand as you choked out a wet gurgle. Water sprayed across the table. A succubus sighed loudly as you coughed violently into your arm.

“If you do that again I’m LEAVING.” You growled.

“Do what?”

“Just pop into existence next to me! Warn me when you’re about to do that!”

“Stop yelling at me! Were you even listening to what I said to him?” asked Colo.

“No.”

A paw slapped you on the back of your head.

“Pay attention! You’re not here for fun!”

“Ow! Fine! Talk to him again!”

You waited and watched as Guyan served the other customers and talked to Colo. If Guyan was serving customers, Colo would nibble on the side dish she had ordered. When he had time, he’d come sit with her in the booth they were at and chat about how things were in the shop and the classes she was taking. A few times it looked like she was about to say something more, but she always stopped herself before words were said. It wouldn’t be so bad, but the giggling… Oh lord the giggles. Every time Guyan said anything remotely comedic, Colo would giggle. Not the smug Cheshire chuckles you were used to, these were girly giggles of a woman in love. It was a little nauseating seeing this natural-born prankster reduced to a blushing stuttering mess.

“Here’s your order!”

You put away your notes and made room for the food. It looked delicious. The meat was a wonderful shade of pink, and the leaves of whatever vegetable was in the salad were crisp enough to stand at attention.

“Thank you.” You said.

“You weren’t joking, huh? Must be a lot of work.” Said Guyan pointing to your notes.

“It’s a chore to be sure, but what can you do?” you said. A high heel connected with your shin and you winced.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, just a hand cramp.” You said.

“Ah. Let me know if you need anything else!” said Guyan.

You rubbed your shin and glared at Colo.

“Mouth.” Announced Colo’s mouth as she popped into existence next to you.

“I appreciate the warning.” You said carving up one of the medallions and taking a bite.

“Don’t say I’m a chore!” said Colo.

“I didn’t. And you are.” You grumbled.

The mouth pouted. “Are you taking notes?”

“Yes.”

“Let me see!”

“I haven’t translated them back to Common yet.” You said.

“What?!”

“I’ll tell you when we get back. Now shut up and let me enjoy my meal!”

Colo’s mouth huffed and hovered there for a second. Zipping up to your bowl, it snagged a piece of meat and vanished.

“Hey!”

You sat back down in a hurry so as not to further disturb the startled patrons. That bitch. She was paying for this. Come to think of it, you didn’t have any money to begin with. Waving at the cat, you made a talking gesture with your hand.

“What is it?” asked Colo’s mouth between chews of your food.

“I’m broke.”

“What?! Broke?! I thought you were RICH!”

“Why would I be rich?!” you asked.

“You’re a rare human! I thought they dressed people like you in gold briefs! Weren’t you a vampire’s concubine?” asked Colo.

“I was NOT a CONCUBINE. I was a PRISONER. That’s completely beside the point anyways!” you corrected.

“You didn’t swipe ONE valuable thing during your stay there? They didn’t give you a parting gift or anything?” said Colo.

“Uhh… I didn’t leave on the best of terms. And I was in a bit of a hurry…” you said.

“Well I don’t have enough to pay for BOTH of our orders.” Said Colo.

“Can you cover mine? Just pay for what I ordered and bum a meal off Guyan.” You said.

“No! He hates it when I do that!” whined the mouth.

“You’ve done it before?”

Colo’s mouth wobbled. “A few times…”

“How often do you come here?! Fuck… Uhh…”

You wracked your brain for ways to weasel out of paying. Dine and dash was a no-go; EVERYONE knew who you were (even if WHAT you were was still a matter of contention) and apparently you were already a world-renowned dick. Selling your signature? If you autographed a napkin or something they could hang it up on the wall. But wait, could demons use that? You imagined Voso showing up with a piece of torn napkin stapled to a thirty-page contract. Not worth the risk. Maybe they’d just have you work for them for a bit. Washing dishes wouldn’t be so bad. Unless they were smart and decided to use you to attract customers. Attracting attention in a city full of rapists was the LAST thing you needed. Chances are if they put you out front with a sign, the monsters visiting the café would be coming for a ‘different’ kind of buffet.

You imagined yourself getting tackled and pinned down in a hamburger suit as a horde of orcs took turns brutalizing your pelvis and making awful sandwich puns.

No! Guyan looked like an understanding guy. Surely he would understand.

“Fine. Just cover your tab and I’ll think of something…” you said.

Guyan returned with a slip of paper.

“Guyan, about the bill…” you began.

He smiled. “Oh, wow! You know my name!”

“Huh?”

“I don’t think I ever introduced myself to you. Sorry about that. Looks like you already knew who I was though.” He said with a chuckle. “Did someone tell you about this place?”

“Yes, it was recommended to me by a friend. They also mentioned your name when they were describing this place.” You said.
“Well, you’ll have to pass along my gratitude.” Beamed Guyan.

“Will do. Now about the bill…”

“Certainly. I can see you’re a busy man so I won’t waste any more of your time. This is exactly enough to cover it.” Said Guyan scraping a small stack of coins into his hand.

You stared at the money. How did it get there?

“Is something wrong?” asked Guyan.

“N-no. Thank you. It was delicious.” You said with a smile.

Guyan took away your plate and utensils. Once he was gone you looked over at Colo. She was looking at the wall with her arms folded tightly across her chest. Guyan came over and started talking to her. He sighed loudly and Colo cowered as she pushed a few coins his way.

“How many times do I have to tell you: you can’t just come in here and mooch food. I have a business to run!” said Guyan.

“I-I’m sorry… I…” Colo tried to choke out a guilty response.

Time to move.
“Colo! Hey! I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to see you here.” You said approaching the booth.

Guyan cocked an eyebrow. Poor Colo looked like she was about to cry from embarrassment and dejection at the same time.

“You know her?” asked Guyan.

“Of course! She’s in my magic class. She recommended this place to me.” You said.

“Is that so…” Said Guyan.

He looked down at Colo, who was staring a hole through the table.

“I’ll let you off the hook today since you brought in a PAYING customer…” Said Guyan. Colo flinched at the word. “But from now on I expect you to pay me what you owe. I know we’ve been friends for years, but I can’t afford to have you taking advantage of me all the time.”

Colo nodded vigorously.

Guyan sighed. “What am I going to do with you… Be careful around her, sir. She’s a tricky one.”

“You love my tricks.” Said Colo as she regained some of her composure.

“I’d like it even more if you payed me what you owe.” Said Guyan smacking her head with a menu.

“Harder~” giggled Colo.

Guyan snorted and shook his head.

“Anyways, I hope I’ll see you again Anon.” said Guyan.

“I think I’ll be back. Though I might have to get a job to buy another meal here.” You joked.

“Maybe not.” Said Guyan. That glint in his eyes couldn’t be good.

“What do you mean?” you asked tentatively.

“You’re single right?” asked Guyan.

“…I don’t like where this is going…”

“No, no, no! It’s nothing like what you’re thinking! Listen, you’re a relatively famous character. If you were to dine here regularly, it might attract some more customers.” Said Guyan with a shrug.

“That’s EXACTLY what I was thinking.” You said folding your arms.

“Oh. Are you sure?”

“Ideally I wouldn’t be used as live bait to coerce rapists into visiting your shop in hopes of molesting me, no.” you said.

“You wouldn’t be raped, you big baby.” Said Guyan with a supercilious smirk. “This isn’t some beer swilling tavern, it’s a café. The clientele we attract are all refined and sophisticated. I swear!”

“You misunderstand me. It’s not that I am asking to be tenderly raped as opposed to savagely raped, I’m asking to not be raped at all.” You said.

“I PROMISE you will not be raped.” Said Guyan.

“Oh yeah? And how do you intend to keep that promise? Smack a monster with a broom when they start tearing through my pants?” you said raising an eyebrow.

“I’ve dealt with enough monsters in my life.” Puffed Guyan. “I can handle them. If not, I’ll just get mom to step in.”

“You’re going to get your poor old mother to step in?” you asked incredulously.

“Guyan, who’s this punk and why’s he callin’ me old?”

You turned around nearly wound up in the cleavage of a massive lizard woman. Her body was absolutely coated in scars and wounds. Even for Valisias standards she was big.

“You’re… she’s your…” you looked between the mountain of scales and Guyan trying to piece together what happened.

“I turned after I had him.” Said the lizard woman.

“O-oh.” You said.

“I heard the gist of what’s happening. This priss is too much of an alp to sit here and eat my food, yeah?” said the woman leering down at you.

“He thinks he’s gonna get raped, ma.” Said Guyan.

“Hora, I can see why. Look at this spineless nit. I’m surprised he worked up the courage to leave his bed.”

“Hey!”

The lizard woman squatted down a bit to look you in the eye. “Just come in, shut up, and eat the food, eye candy. I’d better see you back here.” She said jabbing a claw into your chest.

With her ultimatum given, she slunk back into the kitchen.

“You don’t have to come back if you don’t want to. I know mom can be a little pushy.” Said Guyan.

“I see…” you said watching the kitchen door.

“But keep us in mind! Free meals, any time you want!” said Guyan slapping you on the back.

“Free?” you asked, turning back to Guyan.

“Free.”

“Are you sure you can afford that?” you asked sarcastically.

“Yeah, you’re pretty scrawny so I don’t think you’ll put a dent in our finances.” Said Guyan confidently.

Fucker…

“Keep in mind, if you bulk up a little, it will be harder for monsters to carry you off. Especially harpies.” Said Guyan.

“Right… Well, I must be off. Good meeting you, Guyan.” You said with a nod.

“Take her with you.” Said Guyan pointing a thumb at Colo.

“How come HE gets free meals?” pouted Colo.

“Because HE is going to contribute to my business.” Said Guyan.

“HE never agreed to that.” You said over your shoulder.

“Colo, bring him back some time.” Whispered Guyan.

“Food.” Said Colo smugly.

“Fine. One free drink.”

“That isn’t food!”

“No, but it’s all you’ll get. Now scram.” Said Guyan.

Colo hovered out the door behind you. Pulling your cloak lower over your face, you walked briskly back towards the dorms. Being on the streets after dark was a death sentence.

“Anon! Lemme see the notes!” said Colo floating above you.

“I told you, they aren’t translated.” You said handing her the book.

She thumbed through a few pages before dropping it back down to you. “Your language is an eyesore, you know that?”

“What?”

“All the symbols look the same! There’s no grace to it. It’s too uniform and orderly.” She said sticking her tongue out.

“Maybe to a wonderland girl. I like my language just fine.” You said.

“Whatever. Start reading.”

Colo stood on your head as you cracked open the book.

“Hey! Get your shoes off my hood!”

“Relax, you prude. They never touch the ground.”

You sighed and started reading as the Cheshire remained comically perched on your head, standing straight up and down as she listened to the observations you had made.

~~~~~

“And that’s it.” You said snapping the book shut.

Colo hopped off your head and lounged in the air on her back. “You said I needed to flirt less and tell him how I feel?”

“Yes, I think that is not only painfully obvious but the natural thing to do in this situation. Remind me again why a succubus couldn’t have told you all this?”

“They DID!” moaned Colo. “But they never said HOW.”

“Just-“

“I CAN’T! I can’t JUST tell him! I’ve tried! It doesn’t work!” said Colo as she flailed about.

You yawned as Colo continued her air tantrum. That meal you had eaten in the café might not have had too much mana in it, but it was enough to make your stomach upset. All you wanted now was to sleep off the magical indigestion.

“We’ll think of things for you to say another time. I’m going to bed.” You said.

“When do you want to go again?” asked Colo.

“I want to be barricaded in my room during this stupid tournament, but we can go some other day.” You said.

“We’ll go the day after the contest!” said Colo.

“Fine. Goodnight.” You said.

On the way to your room you ran into Decara leaning up against a wall.

“Anon! There you are. We got a lead.” She said.

“Someone else who wants to help me during the Dash?” you asked.

“Yeah. A weresheep who’s worried she won’t be able to contest her man. She’s already waiting for us.”

A weresheep huh? Not quite the muscle you were looking for, but maybe you could use her wool to make a trap.

The other succubi were waiting with a nervous looking sheep-girl at the doorway to the dorms. When she saw you, her eyes brightened.

“Anon! Thank goodness. I really didn’t want to have to do this, but I overheard some of the older girls talking about my Pabs today. I told them he’s mine and they just laughed and said that I could have him when they were finished with him. I don’t want to share him!” cried the sheep.

“Don’t worry. We’ll get him. Do you know which room he’s in? I don’t know the name off the top of my head, so he’s probably on the first floor.” You said.

All of you jumped as a massive arrow landed in the wall with a sharp crack. Bolstering your barrier, you stuffed all the girls into the bubble.

“Oh Anon, how chivalrous~” cooed the bantubuss.

“Shut up, this is serious.” You whispered.

“Making another EXCEPTION, are we?”

Rhodon appeared out of the darkness. “Tut tut, Anon. You should know better.”

“I’m not breaking any rules. A guy can let monsters into the dorms before the Dash.” You said.

Rhodon sneered. “True, but I and a few other girls are a bit ‘upset’ about your liberal interpretation of that rule.”

“I hear if you file a report in triplicate you can meet with Maranth to bitch about it.” You said.

“I think we’d rather take it up with you in person…”

More monsters sauntered out of the dark to stand behind Rhodon. The ground shook as an oni jumped off the roof and landed next to you. She gave you a crazed look through the barrier and went to join the others. How did she get up there?

The last of the monsters fell into place, at the very edge of the light cast by the lamps on either side of the dorm’s doors.

“As you can see, I’ve been doing some campaigning of my own.” Said Rhodon gesturing to the crowd behind her.

Amazons, ocelomehs, oni, manticore, ogre, werewolves, werebats, orcs, arachne, dark elves… Clearly there was a unifying theme here.

“You see, we’ve all come to the agreement that you’ve overstepped your bounds at Valisias Academy. Using that loophole to get those succubi into the dorm, having to rely on mommy Maranth for protection after mouthing off to us, humiliating students with underhanded tactics during practice… All of that would be forgivable if it weren’t for that UNBEARABLE ARROGANCE.”

Rhodon’s eyes bulged as she screamed the last sentence. She began to walk towards your bubble.

“THAT is your most EGREGIOUS sin, Anon. We all know humans are stupid. They’re weak. They grow up on their farms, or in their little cities and they think that they can arm wrestle a dragon ‘cause they’re strong compared to the other pissant humans.” Shrugged Rhodon.
“And we accept that. We love our frail, clumsy husbands in spite of it. Because we TEACH THEM, Anon. We SHOW THEM that a human is NOTHING compared to a monster. And you know what?”

Rhodon spread her arms wide and twisted her head to the side. Her wide eyes were still transfixed on you.

“They LOVE US for teaching them that a man is good for nothing but pleasing his wife.”

She reached your barrier and pressed herself against it. Her splayed arms pressed into it like she was trying to give you a hug. Pressing her cheek against the magic, Rhodon closed her eyes and hummed.

“Mmm~… I wish you could see it, Anon. How HAPPY they are once they free themselves of the foolish notion that they can resist a monster. That moment of euphoria as they realize how futile it is; that the only thing they need to do, the only thing they CAN do is to be swept away in a river of pleasure.

But YOU…”

Her eyes shot open and she pounded on the barrier with her fist. The muscles in her jaw strained as she bared her teeth.

“You INSIST on denying your place. You DON’T- UNDER- STAND…” shouted Rhodon pounding the wall with each syllable. “…that a human’s place is BENEATH HIS WIFE! You spit in the eye of the natural order, and think yourself impervious to any consequence of your PETULANCE.”

Rhodon panted and brushed a lock of hair away from her eyes.

“…So, we decided that you needed to be taught a lesson.” Said Rhodon walking backwards away from the bubble. “We came to an agreement that if no one else was going to address this MADNESS, that we would take matters into our own hands. When the Dorm Dash happens, we are going to carve a path rrrright to your room. And no one is going to stop us. Do you know why?”

You tried to keep a stoic face, but you couldn’t keep yourself from loudly swallowing the lump in your throat.

“Because all the monsters agree with us. Even if they don’t say it. The ALL agree that you’ve taken advantage of our patience. And if any of them decide to get heroic and save the demoiselle in distress? We’ll hack them to pieces and have them watch as we take turns with you.” Said Rhodon running her hands over her whip. “If I were you, I wouldn’t bother with any magic when we show up; you’re going to need ALL the energy you have for what we’re going to do with you.”

“He can fight if he wants! It’s better when they struggle!” called one of the monsters from the back. The pack chuckled.

“True enough. You might as well struggle. We’ve all agreed that no matter how much you cry, no matter how much you plead, and beg, and scream… we won’t give you a SECOND of rest.” cackled Rhodon.

The weresheep clung tightly to your waist. Stop that you little bastard, I can’t get sleepy right now…

“NO MATTER WHAT, you’re going to be RAPED. Raped so HARD and for SO LONG that they’ll tell stories about it for generations. And NOTHING can stop it. We don’t want bargains. We don’t want apologies. We don’t want you to beg. We just want your PENITENCE. And we’ll have it! One thrust at a time…”

Rhodon shudder and licked her lips. A trickle of juice flowed down her leg. Fucking dark elves.

“Ahh… Listen to me ramble. I’m getting ahead of myself. You’ll learn the lesson when we teach it to you. For now, stop letting girls into the dorms or we’ll fucking destroy them. Have a good sleep Anon~”

The pack slowly retreated into the darkness.

“Oh! Don’t forget the promise I made that night I broke into your room.” Winked Rhodon rubbing her thighs.

Her silver hair shimmered for a moment in the moonlight and vanished.

You stood there with your barrier, the monsters you had hired to protect you huddling behind you.

“Anon…”

Decara’s voice pulled you out of your trance.

“I think you can put the barrier down now.”

You dissipated the wall and gasped. How long had you been holding your breath?

“I’m sorry!” bleated the weresheep. She scurried off to her own dorm.

“Holy shit, Anon. What are you going to do?” asked the snarky succ.

“Just marry someone! I know it may not be what you want, but it’s better than what they’d do to you.” Implored the motherly one.

“Yeah! It can even be a girl from that mob. They say that they’d share you, but there’s got to be at least one of them who’s greedy enough to take you for herself.” Said Decara.

To hell with that! A choice between rapists was no choice at all. Some of these girls were up there on your list of favorite species. Hell, there were some mamono here in your top twenty. But none of the girls you had met were any that you’d like to marry.

Maybe it was time to skip town. You just weren’t cut out for the grueling life of an adventurer. That did pose the perplexing conundrum of how to actually LEAVE the city. On foot and you would be hunted down and raped. Getting a ride on a river boat was an option, but you had no idea where the river went, what cities were downstream, and if the river mamono would even let you pass. To top it all off, you were also flat broke. The only way you could come up with enough cash to smuggle yourself out of Valisias before the Dash was to make more spirit supplement.

“That unicorn I mentioned once is still single, you know!” said the motherly succubus.

No! What were you thinking!? Learning how to defend yourself against impossible odds was the whole reason you came to Valisias Academy in the first place!

“I’m going to fight them.”

The succubi stopped mid-sentence to gawk at you.

“Did- did you say ‘fight’?”

“Anon, that’s a bad idea.”

“A REALLY bad idea.” Insisted the dumb succubus.

“Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t stand a chance. They’ve got magic users. This time, throwing a tantrum and chucking people around isn’t going to cut it.” Said the quiet succubus.

“I can beat them.” You asserted.

They looked at each other.

“I think you need some sleep. Come find us first thing in the morning, and we’ll help you come up with a plan, okay?” said Decara.

They helped you to your feet and pushed you through the door.

What was it that Rhodon said? ‘Nothing could stop them?’

No. It wasn’t over yet.

Not by a longshot…