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Cookies and Family Issues

SteamyChowder Mar 3rd, 2015 (edited) 804 Never
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  1. I sit lazily on my favorite chair, in my bathrobe and bunny slippers, watching Jurassic Park on my living room TV. To my right sits Clara, who's knitting something with masterful skill.
  2. I let out a sigh and take a sip from a nearby glass of alcohol. Today's a fairly nice day.
  3.  
  4. ??
  5.  
  6. A series of knocks come from the door. Dammit, I just got comfortable...
  7. I turn my head over to Clara and try to ask her to answer the door. But instead of my Ryu daughter, in her place was a cloud of smoke in her exact image.
  8. God damn it.
  9. I grumble as I hop out of my chair and shuffle towards the door. If it's another religious person or the cable guy I swear to god...
  10. My hand twists the knob and forces the door open. Standing there on the other side of the doorway are three little monster girls, a Wurm, a Salamander, and an Anubis, in scout uniforms with a red wagon full of cookie boxes behind them.
  11.  
  12. "Hello, mister! We're selling Monster Scout Cookies!" The Wurm with an adorable hat does a salute for no reason.
  13. "Would you like to buy some?!" The Salamander with a fiery tail and smoldering uniform hops around energetically.
  14. "..." The Anubis next to the wagon just quietly stares as she eats some of the cookies with a smile.
  15. "..." I sit there and stare at the three before pulling out all of the money in my wallet and handing it to the Wurm. She pockets it before the three of them move the boxes in the wagon inside my house.
  16. Once the last box is in I wave them goodbye before shutting the door and ripping my way into the nearest box of cookies. These are sooooooo good! It's like crack, but legal! I shovel them into my mouth like a complete fatass. By the time three boxes have been violates beyond recognition, another series of knocks assaults my door.
  17. I quickly wipe away the crumbs from my mouth and open the door again and come face to face with a familiar looking man in a suit, a pale woman with red eyes and long blonde hair in a braide, and a young girl that also has red eyes and blonde hair but no pale skin and has her hair in a pony tail. The three of them awkwardly smile at me as I stand and stare at them in confusion.
  18.  
  19. We stare at each other for at each other for a few minutes, before I break the silence with a simple, "Hello? May I help you?"
  20. "It certainly has been a long time..." The suited man speaks up with a familiar voice that I can't put my finger on who it belongs to. Just who is this guy? Why is he here?
  21. "Do I know you?"
  22. "You don't remember your own brother?" The suited man tries smiles and sighs simultaneously.
  23. ....Brother?.....
  24. ....oh
  25. Oh
  26. OH!
  27. Know I remember who he is... He's my younger brother Tim... Or at least he used to be, before I was disowned from the family years ago. They weren't too happy when they found out I was outright dating a monster, and decided to cut off all ties with me and kick me out into the streets. Luckily, my future wife and her parents welcomed me with open arms and let me stay at their home.
  28. Still a bit sore about the event, I coldly glare at my former brother and what I presume to be his family before flatly speaking, "And just what is it you want?"
  29. Tim speaks up and takes off a hat he wasn't wearing ten seconds ago, "I-I came to apologize for all that's happened to you-"
  30. "Apology denied." I quickly interrupt him before he can finish speaking.
  31. "-And to asking you to come see Dad at the hospital!" He continues speaking in a hurried and depressed tone.
  32. Dad's in the hospital? As if I'd go see him. Hell, if I DID go I'd end up pulling the plug on him out of anger. I look him square in the eyes, an act which intimidates him and worries his wife and kid, and flatly speak in clear and perfect English, "I really don't care for him of all people. Maybe Grandpa, but certainly not him."
  33. "B-But-"
  34. "By the way, you wife's a Vampire."
  35. "S-She's not a Vampire! She just has a biting f-fetish and trouble w-with light!" He stutters while speaking at a quick pace.
  36. "Alrighty then." I do my best Jim Carey impression before slamming the door in their faces and tightly ball of my fists while grinding my teeth.
  37. Clara, who somehow hid herself in the oven of all places, opens the oven door and pokes her head out, "Who was that, Dad?" I take a deep, deep breath and calm down in an instant. "It was nobody, dear." I say with a smile as I reach down and tear into another box of cookies. The legal crack within will help me forget about today...
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