Does this make me a shitty person?

Lately I've been losing motivation to stream, which is why I've streamed maybe 3 times in the last week or so.
So much so that I'm considering stopping altogether.
My first stream was July 15th last year or something, and I feel like I've gotten nowhere. Nowhere as in, I can't get in the double digits of viewers, losing followers, not even 400 followers, and stream quite often. I'm not in this to make money, just to make it worth my time, 'cause I know I'll never get a sub button.
I took a break in January through March this year to focus a lot on Cardfight Vanguard and didn't stream. In that time I lost followers (obviously), but no one talked to me in that time. I know I wasn't that popular then, but still. No one asked me when I'm streaming next, or how I was doing, or why I was away. I can handle that, 'cause not a lot of people knew who I was. Now, I feel that way again. I feel like I merely exist when I stream and that's all. Aside from a couple of discord servers I'm a part of, nothing aside from shitty comments on my PB/WRs on youtube. If I go away again, I'm assuming people are gonna forget about me and forget that I stream, 'cause I clearly haven't made Gran Turismo speedrunning into anything, seeing as though only a couple of people stream it.
No one is beating my records or trying (from what I've seen), and I'm running out of things to do that make me want to stream. Yeah, I've been trying Megaman X Command Mission, and I want to finish a run eventually, but it might not be online. I'm at the point where I didn't want to be as a streamer. I feel like I'm only streaming to a handful of people, seeing as though I can't even get 10 people to watch anymore, and it's not worth it to me. I know I don't have a job or anything to do during the day, but if I don't want to stream 'cause no one is gonna watch, that's the way it's gonna be.

This is where I'm gonna get really selfish and probably an asshole. So, be warned.

I feel like I haven't gotten any support aside from people in chat congratulating me on a PB/WR and Tsundoll with the PS2 fixes and other stuff. (Thanks a lot brother).
I've never seen my stream promoted anywhere (ever since I gave up on it), only a few people put me over in other streams, etc.
Is it really going to get to the point where I have to get a game at a GDQ to get noticed? 'Cause that's not happening ever.
All I want is people to make this worth it to me, 'cause I'm not streaming to do it for me. If that was the case, I'd do everything offline and not worry about hitting my data cap for the month. I've put in so much work for Gran Turismo and Ridge Racer for myself and I just wanted something back. People to watch me.
I know there are big streamers who get asked, "I'm a small streamer, how do I get bigger?" And the streamer will be like, "Just stream a lot and people will find you. It takes time." As the reader, you're probably thinking, it's just a rough patch, it'll be fine. But, when is it gonna get better? Yeah, I don't stream popular games, yeah I don't have donations on stream (never got any, so it doesn't matter), or other dumb shit, but it's been a year and a half, and look where I am.

I'm strongly considering not streaming anymore, and I'm not blaming any one person or thing. It's a lot of things above.
If you think I'm an asshole, unfollow, whatever. If you want to talk to me about this or stuff, do so, you know how to.
These are my feelings on streaming and it's honestly keeping me up at night. I've tried everything I could, and I'm about ready to give up.
It's hard to stream just to stream and have fun, when I'm not having fun anymore.