What's up NENG! Any% GLITCHLESS speedrun guide

Q: What the fuck is this game?

A: What's up, NENG! is a hellspawn PS2 licensed game depicting Spanish actor Edu Soto playing his character "Neng" for a show that aired in early 2000s spanish tv. This game should not exist, but it does, and it's an incredibly effective time capsule of what the early 2000s felt like.

Q: What's the deal with the run?

A: This "game" is comprised of 5 snippets of the TV show which are then reimagined in the form of a minigame, and then ignored altogether and made a different game that tangentially fits the clip played.

EL EMBALAJE (lit. The packaging): Something something all of Neng's friends have to enter a car together. I'm sure everyone said "wow this feels like playing tetris" while piling groceries in a car before, this is just that. Except bad.

This minigame is Tetris, except the I piece is a tromino instead of a tetromino because the devs hated me in particular. There is no spin logic (you can spin, but there's no "[piece] spin", like a T-spin), no holding, no autodash and no hard dropping. Gameplay consists of filling 3 different layers of 4x12 (4x12x3) with any residual block going above the 4 block height limit disappearing and giving you a 1 point penalty. Filling a 4x3 block (a seat) in any of the layers provides 100 points, and any residual pieces you have not placed when the game ends result in +10 points added to the counter.
Win condition for level 1 is 900 points, level 2 is 1000 and level 3, 1100.
This game probably has the most strategy involved out of them all, it's also incredibly unfair and reset hell.
Every time you fill a 4x3 block (a seat), an animation plays that takes about 8 seconds. You can still play during this animation, but the animations stack over time. This means that if you were to clear the last 4 seats in 8 seconds, you would still have to wait ~32 seconds for the game to be over, as the points are only awarded after the animation is over.
Baby math tells you that filling the entire 12 seats nets you 1200 points, enough to beat level 3. Due to how each animation  takes forever to complete, the goal becomes:
· Complete your score goal for the level with the least amount of animations playing for the last points you're awarded.

The game also ends if you can't place any more pieces, which means you can obstruct a seat if you don't need the points for a nice 8 second timesave. Theoretical best runs involve 9 blocks for level 1 with enough residual pieces to add up to 900, 10 for level 2 and 11 for level 3. For all levels you would need around 3 residual pieces and as many seats filled as you would need for the score goal, which makes it incredibly hard and sometimes just outright impossible to go for the optimal strats. A fun game. Going absurdly fast could probably make this a 4 minute game.

AMBULANCIA (lit. Ambulance): Early during the nengverse narrative, someone needs medical assistance in the Buenafuente stage where Neng spawned into existence. The whole joke of this segment in the show is that the medical assistance, which you would expect to dress up and act normally, are exact lookalikes of Neng. Same movements, haircut, facial expressions, everything bar the white lab coat they wear. Instead of providing medical assistance they start raving with Neng. Thus this minigame has you raving harder than them, to claim your superiority as the fastest Neng.

This last paragraph was updated as it showed misinformation in the past. Sorry to every Neng fan who pointed this out to me.

In this game you react to quick time events while the CPU cheats.
React to the quick time event, don't be bad as I am, if you're really really fast you won't ever tie as the last input will get registered before the game sees the CPU has tied against you. Failing puts you back at level 1.

This is the biggest RNG segment in the whole run. Ideally this segment takes 40 seconds. Though, if the game feels like it, you can get stuck playing it for way over 5 minutes, even if you were playing perfectly. All efforts are currently put in making this minigame "not-shiteass"

I should mention that there's a second reason why you wouldn't want to tie. Lest you want to listen to what Neng's head sounds like.

SPOT KONSTITU (lit. I don't speed greek I can't translate this sorry): Neng reads an amendment from the Spanish constitution that talks about partying really hard or something, the game has nothing to do with that

Gameplay consists of a nightmareish Neng head banging to the music. You move your cursor and hit flies on screen. This game is essentially a 3 minute autoscroller (1 min per level).

LA GUARDIA (lit. The guards): Neng is driving an RC car that gets confiscated by guards.

Gameplay consists of 3(+1 per level) guards running in diagonal a la screensaver while you drive an RC car that has to draw over 75(+5 per level)% of the playfield by driving. The game only counts an area if there is no guard on the area drawn, and at least one of the sides is already "owned", at the beginning of the game, the only "owned" land is the outer playfield border. You get 3 lives per round, failing at any point puts you back at level 1.

Deaths occur by colliding with your drawn, non owned area (drawing an area where none of the sides are owned), colliding with a guard (you both have insanely unforgiving hitboxes), having a guard collide with your drawn area, and having the game bug out and kill you for existing.

There's strategy, somewhat. You could trap one or two of the guards in a spot by drawing narrow halls, but you'd have to be really good at it, as anything over a 3% of the playfield being part of said jail would mean your total terrain to cover will be that same amount smaller. Otherwise, what I do is draw a small wall somewhere in the center and hope that I can cash in a 50% of the border. Oh, this game is also incredibly jank. Ultra bugged. I found a weird glitch where doing a 360 really fast sometimes puts you in safety and clears the area you drew. More often than not this kills you.

LA FORTUNA RUEDA (lit. The fortune wheels, a word play where "rueda" can literally mean "wheel/wheels" as well as spin):
Neng has his car destroyed at some point during the Nengverse narrative, and Buenafuente (the guy running the show) offers him a roulette where he has control of when it stops, and the car he gets is wherever the wheel lands. He obviously gets scammed and keeps repeating to himself "I spun too hard..." During the entirety of this game the song that plays isn't obnoxious early 2000s discotheque music but actually Neng feeling "party withdrawal" and going through a depression episode while ambient "yoga room" music plays.

Now, I hope you read that last paragraph, because it's essential to beating this game. This is the only consistent game out of the 5.

Win condition involves obtaining more than 1000 points/coins/money/cars/pointsagain
You get prizes for drawing:
3 ferraris in a row: 1000
3 minis in a row: 500
3 green cars: 100
and some other logic that really doesn't matter that gives you pity 50.

While playing the game casually, and seeing just how impossible it was to get the 1000 points to what would be "officially beating the game" I ended up developing a manip to consistently get 1000 points in 6 spins by drawing 6 minis.
The roulette is not random, it spawns the exact same tiles at the exact same places every single time, and if you're versed in speedruns you already know what you need to beat this, consistent inputs. Turns out the key for this was in Neng's phrasing all along. He really did spin too hard.

There are only 3 valid inputs I found. Pull the left trigger down all the way fast (this is fairly lenient), press A to stop the roulette instead of waiting until it halts to a stop, and pulling the left trigger just a tiny bit down so that the roulette goes really slow.

The key to beat this lays in that last input, which can be made perfectly consistent by pulling your trigger full left or right and moving it along the outer radius until the input reaches what the game considers to be "aiming down". This will make the roulette move very slowly, slow enough that if you were to press A and stop the roulette on the first possible frame, you could move in increments of as little as 1 tile. For convenience I'll call this Slow Roulette, just so it has a name.

The consistent inputs I found are
UPDATE pips fucking owned me:

3 slow roulettes can actually land on the red car 3 times lmao
my 6 minis strategy was so cool tho...

Only 1 level for this game, which means this is the easiest and most consistent game out of the 5. Ironic.

pips got 14:44 on emu with this which is beyond my expectations
update: taking loadless timing, pips' any% glitchless run is around 13:40. Well optimized, any% glitchless could go down to 11 minutes? Probably.