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Apr 1st, 2016
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  1. CAC: Suburb AU Memo Game 
  2. CTG: SP: 
  3. CTG: AC: 
  4. ?AU: :smpa:
  5. ?GG: Destroy the Godmoder memo game
  6. CAC: You live in a suburb. Who are you?
  7. ?GG: Godmoder: 100/100 HP
  8. CSE: oh no.
  9. CSP: I bitchslap Godmodder
  10. CAC: Error, godmoder does not reside in the suburb.
  11. CSE: Godmoder != godmodder.
  12. CCA: yes godmoder
  13. CCA: 
  14. CSP: I win
  15. ?GG: The Godmodder ıs not around, and has the sense to not be around
  16. ?GG: ever
  17. CAC: Error. You cannot play as the godmodder, this isn't DTG, you can't be a villian, you evil scum.
  18. ?GG: fııııııne
  19. ?GG: >Generıc
  20. CCA: >Chuck Norris
  21. CAC: Your name is Generic.
  22. CAC: That's not actually your name.
  23. CAC: However, its so generic, everyone just calls you that
  24. CSP: >Piono's hot weapon collection
  25. CAC: You're a very boring person.
  26. ?AU: https://soundcloud.com/user-840336525/mogovolonio it is here
  27. CAC: You are currently in your room.
  28. CAC: On your computer.
  29. CAC: You are the neighbourhood recluse.
  30. CAC: What will you do?
  31. ?GG: >Go outsıde
  32. CSP: >shitpost upon Pesterchum
  33. ?AU: >listen to mogovolonio
  34. CAC: Wow, that's the first time you've done that in a while! 
  35. CAC: You leave your room and head outside.
  36. CAC: Its a beautiful spring day.
  37. CAC: The birds are chirping and the sun is shining
  38. CAC: What will you do?
  39. ?GG: >Fınd Fseftr
  40. CAC: Who's that? You know of no one named Fseftr.
  41. CAC: That doesn't even sound like a name
  42. ?GG: >Go bother Twın
  43. CSP: >go back inside
  44. CAC: You head towards the home of the local schizophrenic, who goes by the nickname Twin.
  45. CAC: You knock on his door.
  46. CAC: No answer
  47. CAC: What will you do?
  48. CTG: gee thanks
  49. CSP: >retreat back into abode
  50. ?AU: >Go bother Split
  51. ?GG: >Contemplate whether HOA allows doors to be kıcked ın
  52. CAC: The HOA does not allow doors to be kicked in.
  53. ?GG: >Go complaın to HOA
  54. CAC: You don't acknowledge Split, you don't want to enable Build, after all.
  55. CAC: You mean Twin
  56. CAC: You head towards Richard's house.
  57. CSP: Oh god
  58. CAC: You pass by a very large fountain and knock on his door.
  59. CAC: He answers.
  60. CAC: "Yes?"
  61. ?GG: >Complaın about lack of lower levels of HOA
  62. CAC: test
  63. CSP: >"Inquire to Richard about killing himself"
  64. CAC: "What are you talking about? There's Serpent and Kayne."
  65. CAC: "Go bother them for your minor HOA items"
  66. CAC: You don't do that
  67. ?GG: >contemplate pıssıng ın rıchard's fountaın
  68. CAC: You think about it.
  69. CURRENT caledfwlchUnleashed [CCU] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  70. CCU: AMBUSH!!!
  71. CTG: hey
  72. CAC: ...there's not much to say here
  73. CCU: HΞLLOWZ.
  74. CAC: You could do it
  75. CCA: Hey.
  76. ?GG: yo
  77. CTG: tazz there was an updop to dtg2
  78. CCU: ...My life sucks.
  79. CSE: hello.
  80. CAC: It wouldn't do much
  81. CCU: TG: what happened?
  82. CAC: He probably has camera
  83. CAC: s
  84. CAC: Will you do it?
  85. CTG: <THE 51ST WATCHES>
  86. ?GG: >contemplate puttıng on a mask
  87. CCU: Did Crusher finally get his comb rave? 
  88. CTG: no
  89. CTG: another orgiinal post dop
  90. CAC: Masks are against the HOA.
  91. CAU: >Go visit engie's house
  92. CAC: The only people who wear masks are criminals, after all.
  93. ?GG: >contemplate just wearıng a really tıght hoodıe
  94. CAC: You decide to visit engie's house.
  95. CAC: It is very recntangular.
  96. CAC: You knock on the door.
  97. CCU: ...What's going on Fseftr?
  98. CAC: The metal door hurts your hand.
  99. CAC: A suburb AU memo game
  100. CCU: mph.
  101. CAC: Engie answers the door.
  102. CCU: Today was long and hard.
  103. CSP: >threaten Engie for hot tech
  104. CCU: Who's SP?
  105. ?GG: revan
  106. CAC: "No."
  107. CCU: Ah.
  108. ?GG: and thıs ıs tazz
  109. CAC: "Get off my property."
  110. CCU: Heyo.
  111. CSP: I guessed
  112. CCU: Update may not happen today because April Fools.
  113. CSP: Hello
  114. CCU: | hate april fools with an unholy passion.
  115. CAU: yeah cuz people CAN'T STICK TO THE RULESSSS
  116. CSP: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
  117. CAU: i know!
  118. CAU: tazz, don't post it today but
  119. CAC: He takes out a roomba with a chainsaw attached to it.
  120. CAU: finish it today!!!!
  121. CAU: that way you can post it at 12:00 tonight!
  122. CCU: | dont' care the extent of it i a flipped avatar
  123. CAC: and points it at you.
  124. CSP: >flee
  125. CCU: AU | know that's a joke as filthy as my ass
  126. CAU: >insult his house while fleeing
  127. CCU: can we please stop the jokes? They're not really funny they're annoying.
  128. ?GG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xni3HQ_nzSc want to see never gonna gıve you up
  129. CAC: You run while yelling "Your house sucks!"
  130. CCU: No
  131. CAC: You are now on the sidewalk.
  132. CAC: What will you do?
  133. ?GG: okay
  134. CCU: | dont' want to see jackshit.
  135. ?GG: faır enough
  136. CCU: | don't want
  137. CCU: anything today
  138. CCU: except sleep.
  139. CAU: ok
  140. CAC: Then sleep
  141. CCU: Because today was fucking hell.
  142. CAU: sleep tight pupper
  143. ?GG: mh
  144. CAC: sleep tight pupper
  145. CCU: Two tests {and they were legit tests} and the information that | will fail a class on so much as a tardy.
  146. CTG: CU but I'm not doing an april fool's joke ;-;
  147. CCU: Fucking fantastic day today.
  148. CTG: it's ARGpril Fool's
  149. CAU: what draconian school do you go to?
  150. CCU: Alterante Reality Gamepril fools
  151. ?GG: yes
  152. CAC: You are still on the sidewalk of Engie's house, what will yo udo?
  153. CCU: AU: Considering the teacher on that note had given me as much leeway as a 18 wheeler |ts safe to say that this is more of a warning.
  154. ?GG: Contemplate punchıng the house
  155. CCU: yo udo
  156. CSP: >go bother Uzi
  157. CCU: >contemplate playing that Pokemon game
  158. CAC: You decide to vist Uzi.
  159. CSE: > reconsider.
  160. CCU: ...
  161. CSE: you don't want to die right now.
  162. CAC: You're not sure why you're considering visiting all these dangerous people
  163. ?GG: >remember ıncredıbly lıttle about ıt
  164. CAC: You decide against it
  165. CCU: | clearly came onto the memo on a bad time with a bad mood.
  166. CAC: Maybe you should visit someone less dangerous
  167. CCU: Yeah.
  168. CSP: Aww
  169. ?GG: >go bother netpatham
  170. CAC: You would, but he vanished months ago.
  171. CAU: >Go bother Generic
  172. CCU: >^
  173. ?GG: >go ınto hıs house
  174. CAC: You are generic!
  175. CCU: Fuck up your own day
  176. CAC: You enter your home.
  177. CAC: It is dark
  178. CAU: >Make Tazz a nice care package using items in your house
  179. ?GG: I meant netpatham's house.
  180. CCU: ...
  181. ?GG: jeez.
  182. CAC: You leave your home
  183. CAC: And enter Netpatham's home.
  184. CAC: A layer of dust covers everything
  185. ?GG: >Steal anythıng you can
  186. CCU: A layer of dust and shittiness
  187. CAC: Doesn't look like anyone's been here for a while
  188. CCU: You do not steal shit because it's al shit
  189. CAU: >Enter Netpatham's kitchen
  190. CCU: *all shit
  191. CCU: everything is shit
  192. CCU: literally
  193. CAC: You see a 3D printer
  194. CAC: Its not a very good one
  195. ?GG: >put ıt ın a bag that wıll be totally ınconspıcuous
  196. CAC: You take it anyways
  197. CCU: every little inch of the house is fucking made of real shit.
  198. CAC: You put it in a convient garbage bag
  199. CCU: netpatham's shit most likely
  200. CAC: You then enter his kitchen
  201. CAC: It is dusty but
  202. CCU: it is also made of shit
  203. CAC: There are footprints on the floor
  204. ?GG: check for cameras
  205. CCU: entirely
  206. CAU: >Follow the footprints
  207. CAC: There are no cameras
  208. CCU: there is only shit
  209. CAC: You follow the footprints to the kitchen window
  210. CSP: Tazz
  211. CAC: They stop
  212. CAC: There is no dust outside
  213. CCU: ?
  214. CAC: These must be months old
  215. CSE: look up.
  216. CAC: Its a ceiling.
  217. CAC: Amazing
  218. CSP: Stop... :MSPA: shitposting
  219. CCU: undercase only for 
  220. CCU: also
  221. CSE: finally the ceiling I was looking for it.
  222. CSP: Goddamnit
  223. CCU: i'm pretty much going to go.
  224. ?GG: >leave wındow
  225. CCA: bye
  226. CCU: My joking at Netpatham's expense is over
  227. CCU: le vanish and shit
  228. CCU ceased responding to memo.
  229. CAC: You leave Net's window and kitchen.
  230. CSP: Ciao Tazz
  231. CAC: You are now back in his living room.
  232. CAC: He does not have a large house
  233. CSE: that, SP is ciao ciao.
  234. CTG: dtg2 updop
  235. CSE: you need 2 ciao.
  236. CAC: What will you do?
  237. CAU: start a shitty DTG spinoff
  238. CAC: You don't know what DTG is
  239. ?GG: >jump through wındow
  240. CSP: >leave house and think of your nearby neighbors names
  241. CAC: You don't have the atheltic ability for that.
  242. CAU: >carefully exit through window
  243. CAC: Athelticism: 3
  244. CTG: I'm out
  245. CAU: oh
  246. CTG ceased responding to memo.
  247. CAU: welp okay you know what PUSH THIS SHIT TO ANOTHER MEMO :V
  248. CSP: Ciao Ciao Ciao Twin
  249. ?GG: clımb out of wındow
  250. CAC: You leave Net's house and wander off towards your own
  251. CAC: Meanwhile, you think about who lives next to you.
  252. CSE: just 2 ciao.
  253. CAC: There's Cobalt, the weed killing contractor
  254. CAC: And some girl who's never in her house
  255. CSP: SE: I try so hard
  256. ?GG: >go bother cobalt
  257. CAC: You ring on Cobalt's doorbell.
  258. CAC: Interesting how no one else had one.
  259. CAC: He answers.
  260. CAC: "Hey Generic."
  261. CCA: >cobalt: kill generic with fluoroantimonic acid
  262. CSP: Wait, I wanna hear the rest the list...
  263. CAC: You are not Cobalt right now.
  264. ?GG: >generıc: be cobalt
  265. CAC: Those are the two people living right noext to you.
  266. CCA: >generic: be killed by fluoroantimonic acid
  267. CAC: You won't name everyone.
  268. CAC: No.
  269. CAC: You are stuck as generic.
  270. CCA: >generic: yes
  271. CAC: I know, it sucks
  272. ?GG: haha
  273. ?GG: >stab self
  274. CCA: >generic: yes be killed by fluoroantimonic acid
  275. CAC: Your athelticism is not high enough to stab yourself.
  276. CAC: "So..."
  277. CAU: >Go to the gym
  278. CAC: Cobalt says
  279. CCA: >generic: stop talking to everyone and raise your athleticism to the point where you CAN stab yourself
  280. ?GG: >ask cobalt to kıll you wıth fluoroantımonıc acıd
  281. ?GG: 
  282. CCA: >↑
  283. CAC: "...no. That's really illegal"
  284. CAC: "I MEAN!
  285. CAC: "What fluoroantımonıc acıd???"
  286. CAC: "I don't have any!"
  287. CAC: "That'd be illegal!"
  288. CAC: He slams the door on you
  289. ?GG: >go down ınto tunnels
  290. CCA: >give up talking to people and drown yourself in richard's fountain
  291. CAC: You find a nearby trapdoor, and enter the tunnels
  292. CAC: It is well lit
  293. CAC: The HOA has furnished them
  294. ?GG: >fall asleep
  295. CAC: You wonder why you don't sleep in your bed.
  296. CSP: >go home
  297. CAC: You fall asleep.
  298. CCA: >realize you don't have a bed seconds before you fall asleep
  299. CAC: Now you're some other person.
  300. CAC: Who are you?
  301. ?GG: Cobalt
  302. CCA: >justin bieber
  303. CCA: no
  304. CCA: be justin bieber
  305. ?GG: yes
  306. ?GG: Cobalt
  307. CCA: stop trying to be me
  308. CCA: Justin Bieber
  309. ?GG: fıne, Net
  310. CCA: John Cena
  311. CCA: SCP-682
  312. CCA: Michael Rosen
  313. CSP: >Twin
  314. CCA: Chuck Norris
  315. CAC: Need to relog
  316. CAC: brb
  317. CAC ceased responding to memo.
  318. CURRENT absoluteCoolness5 [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  319. CAC: You are now Cobalt
  320. CAC: You are a professional weed killer.
  321. CAC: You are panicking
  322. CSP: >hide acid
  323. CCA: >Flood the town with fluoroantimonic acid
  324. ?GG: >Contemplate fındıng generıc and murderıng hım
  325. CCA: >Then go to space in a ship also made of fluoroantimonic acid
  326. CAC: That would be against the HOA
  327. CCA: >perform deadly all-in against generic
  328. CSP: >find your LSD afterwards
  329. CAC: You hide your conspicuous vat of acid.
  330. CCA: >then bathe in your acid
  331. CCA: >and then become drew pickles, lord of swellness
  332. ?GG: >Hug vat of acıd
  333. CAC: You are clearly mentally ill.
  334. CCA: >and then [REDACTED] everyone in the town
  335. CCA: >yes he is
  336. CCA: >yes he definitely is mentally ill
  337. CAU: oh god what is this weird ominous cancer shit engie posted in the reboot thread
  338. CAC: Your vat of acid suddenly fails
  339. CCA: >even more mentally ill than the twin
  340. CAC: And it drills into the Earth
  341. CAC: Whoops
  342. CAC: That was all of it
  343. CCA: >good
  344. CSP: And
  345. CSP: Rock falls
  346. CCA: >now jump into the hole it drilled
  347. CAU: inb4 athletics
  348. CAC: You jump into the hole.
  349. CAU: oh hey it worked
  350. CAC: ... It's too small
  351. CAU: >shrink
  352. CCA: >bullshit, the vat is 15 meters in diameter
  353. ?GG: >thınk about how bıg your vat ıs
  354. CCA: >you clearly remember that
  355. CAC: But the hole is only 20cm
  356. CCA: >but then again you're probably high on fluoroantimonic acid
  357. CAC: You stop being cobalt.
  358. CCA: >be crusher
  359. ?GG: ha
  360. CCA: >be crusher
  361. ?GG: >be crusher
  362. CAC: You are now crusher.
  363. CAC: You are an old man dying of cancer.
  364. ?GG: >contemplate endıng ıt all
  365. CAC: Except you're 12.
  366. CCA: >have gay sex orgy with every scp just as you take your last breath
  367. CAC: You think about it.
  368. CCA: >because you're 12 and you think gay sex orgies are funny
  369. CAC: You do not have the strength to do either, cancer has murdered your altheticism stat
  370. ?GG: darn
  371. CAC: And it will soon murder you
  372. CCA: >have a cancer b0ss
  373. CAC: A cancer what
  374. CCA: >learn lojban
  375. CCA: >then use it to speak to scp-343 and convince him to remove your cancer
  376. CSP: >pose like a sad child
  377. CAC: You are sad
  378. CSP: >because shit just got real
  379. CAC: Ugh, Ofn
  380. CAC: Continue this later, maybe
  381. CCA: alright
  382. CCA: total randomness au
  383. CCA: character select
  384. ?GG: >godmoder
  385. CCA: you are now the godmoder
  386. CCA: what will you do
  387. CSE: >look at the time, it's time to godmod.
  388. CSP: >change letter to Godmodder
  389. CSP: *name
  390. CCA: you realize you're not the godmodder, but instead the godmoder
  391. CCA: you're always in godmode
  392. CSP: >swallow sadness
  393. CSP: >cry deeply
  394. CSE: >go troll the godmodder.
  395. CSE: *G
  396. CCA: you cry yourself to sleep and are killed by the satanmoder in your sleep
  397. CCA: because apparently your godmode does not extend to sleeping
  398. CCA: for some reason
  399. ?GG: pfff
  400. CSP: >be Richard the Godmodder
  401. CCA: >you are now a man named "Richard the Godmodder"
  402. CCA: you are not godmodder477 nor will you ever be
  403. CCA: you are currently godmodding yourself even more infinite money so that you can survive the coming steam sale
  404. CCA: what will you do
  405. CSP: >kill self and become An Hero
  406. CCA: you become an hero
  407. CCA: your death causes a million paradoxes
  408. CCA: and everyone dies
  409. CCA: you then revive and revive everyone else
  410. CCA: the world is now overrun by giant killer robots
  411. CCA: what will you do
  412. CSP: >pose badassly and then engage robotic menace
  413. CCA: you pose in a bad-ass way
  414. CCA: then you move the hyphen one word to the right
  415. CCA: then you realize you suck at this and go engage the robotic menace
  416. CCA: you kill robot after robot until you realize all your mechs have turned on you
  417. CCA: what will you do
  418. CSP: >chuckle heartily and call upon the Anti-Mr.T Turret
  419. CCA: you call upon the anti-mr.t turrt
  420. CCA: which is now a potato
  421. CCA: wtf is going on
  422. CSP: >plunge hand into the AMR.TT and wield it as a caestus
  423. CAC: Back to the main show, no one likes Cobalt's. 
  424. CCA: the potato is anti-godmodder and kills you
  425. CCA: the end
  426. ?GG: kek
  427. CAC: You are a very say child dying of terminal cancer.
  428. CCC made AT an OP.
  429. CAC: SCPs aren't reak.
  430. CAC: Real.
  431. ?GG: hello, erelye
  432. CURRENT ambiguousTheoretician [CAT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  433. CAT: Hello.
  434. CSP: >curbstomp your former minions
  435. CAC: You wish they were.
  436. ?GG: welcome to ARGprıl fools
  437. CSP: Oh
  438. CSP: Well
  439. CAC: You go on the SCP Wiki a lot.
  440. ?GG: >contemplate askıng someone to kıll you
  441. ?GG: >wonder ıf you can exıt your house
  442. CAC: You consider it.
  443. CCA: masturbate vigorously to scp-682 on scp-053 action 
  444. CAC: No doubt some would be willing
  445. CAT: I'm not considering today to be April Fools any longer. It doesn't really exist past four PM, after all.
  446. ?GG: ındeed
  447. CAC: You can
  448. ?GG: and ıt's 4 pm over here
  449. CAT: Also, thank fuck that the thes are back.
  450. ?GG: ındeed
  451. CSE: it is 2 april here.
  452. CAT: We are all safe now.
  453. CSP: Hurrah
  454. CAT: I can write my Spades Slick intermission in peace.
  455. CAC: Man, Crusher'a tale is surprisingly depressing
  456. CSP: >stagger outside
  457. CAT: Looking back at Jack's bits in HS for this, I am surprised by how hilarious he is, in an entirely murderous way.
  458. CAC: You stagger outside.
  459. CAC: The sun is shining, the birds are chirping
  460. CAC: You live next to engie and TT2000.
  461. CAC: What a terrible nickname that is
  462. CAC: What will you do?
  463. CSP: >knock upon door and immediately mock him when he answers
  464. ?GG: >go to engıe
  465. ?GG: >ask hım to please let you ın
  466. CSP: Also
  467. CAC: You go to engie's house.
  468. CAC: He opens the door, considers you for a second, and lets you in.
  469. CCC made UC an OP.
  470. CAC: His house is full of ugly metal rectangles
  471. CURRENT universallyCognizant [CUC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  472. CUC: Hello all.
  473. CUC: Back.
  474. CSP: Hello Hello to all I haven't greeted
  475. CAT: Hello.
  476. CAC: What will you do?
  477. ?GG: holy shıt
  478. CUC: Ugh fucking Engie/
  479. CUC: Look at his fucking post in the reboot thread.
  480. ?GG: so: apparently ıf you draın 400 people of theır blood
  481. ?GG: and extract the ıron
  482. CSP: >ask for a cure for cancer
  483. ?GG: you have enough for a sword forged from the blood of your enemıes
  484. CAT: Ooh.
  485. ?GG: a somewhat terrıble one
  486. CAC: ".... What"
  487. CSE: nice.
  488. ?GG: but hey
  489. CAT: This random factoid is amazing.
  490. CAT: I need to try this.
  491. CAC: He stares at you, slightly sad.
  492. CAT: :D
  493. CSP: >die tragically upon Engie's arms
  494. CAC: It's your die to go.
  495. CAC: You die.
  496. CCA: "Hello Hello"...
  497. CCA: is SP gutza
  498. CAC: There would be a heartwarming scene here but
  499. CCA: in disguise
  500. CSP: No
  501. CUC: I am tired of Engie going 'Oh, I'm so powerful, I can threaten to disrupt games because of my characters' power.'
  502. CSP: It is I
  503. CAC: The perspective character is dead
  504. CURRENT flamingCarbohydrates [CFC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  505. CFC: heyo
  506. CAC: So
  507. CAT: Hello.
  508. CSP: Revan
  509. CUC: I AM TIRED OF FUCKING ENGIE.
  510. CAC: Who are you?
  511. ?GG: then break up wıth hım
  512. CAC: Hue
  513. ?GG: move on
  514. CCA: a potato
  515. ?GG: 
  516. CUC: Hue hue.
  517. CUC: 2-1.
  518. CCA: saturation saturation
  519. CCA: >be a potato
  520. CAC: No potatoes exist in the suburb
  521. CUC: Nah but seriously.
  522. ?GG: gradıent gradıent
  523. CAC: They are against the HOA
  524. CCA: >be a nuclear bomb under the suburb
  525. CSP: >be the fucking space wizard
  526. CAT: Engie is a prick, yep.
  527. CAC: You are now Erelye
  528. CAT: Hah.
  529. CCA: >be the fucking nuclear quest-giving taco
  530. CUC: I'm going to recommend to Piono that he completely ban player characters higher in power than the fucking Godmodder in the reboot.
  531. CUC: Just to keep it real.
  532. CAC: You are an occult enthusiast.
  533. ?GG: yeah that'd be annoyıng
  534. CUC: Engie needs a shakeup, he needs to wake up from his dreams of power.
  535. CFC: ^
  536. CAC: You lead the neighborhood occult club.
  537. CAC: You are also a pasty teenager.
  538. CUC: Because I dare to say they're making everyone else quite sour.
  539. CAC: What will you do?
  540. CAT: He's a fucking unironic Trump quoter. I doubt we can change his mind.
  541. CFC: 
  542. CUC: *mic drops*
  543. CUC: now, quick afk
  544. CFC: *waits for lights to dim*
  545. CSP: >consult your fellow cultists
  546. CFC: *picks up mic*
  547. CFC: *runs off laughing*
  548. ?GG: should we really have anybody ın charge of a vast organızatıon ın the reboot
  549. CAC: But which one?
  550. CAT: Their names are Harold, Jimson, Hills, and Crystal.
  551. ?GG: I mean yes, some people handle ıt well
  552. ?GG: but others do ıt terrıbly
  553. CFC: >consult Hills for emotional support
  554. CAC: Sure.
  555. CAC: You leave for Hills' house.
  556. CAC: That's just Bomber's real name.
  557. CCA: >on the way, be distracted by a chair
  558. CAT: Hah.
  559. CAU: if Reboot were to happen I would probably join as Irongutta. I mean how could I not 
  560. CAU: pretty sure i've already accidentally revealed my real name once.
  561. CAT: What's this talk of a reboot?
  562. CFC: I would be a new, innocent Toast 
  563. CAC: You knock on his door, and he answers.
  564. CAU: alright let me fish up the ol tumor
  565. CAU: http://s15.zetaboards.com/DTG_Forums/topic/8366439/1/#new
  566. CFC: I think generic knows mine
  567. CAC: "Hey Erelye, what's up?"
  568. CFC: but I dunno
  569. ?GG: I mean I forget people's names
  570. CFC: I don't really care if people know my name
  571. ?GG: haha
  572. CSP: I be Nyarlathotep and space monk Revan
  573. ?GG: I don't really care for my name
  574. CAT: I think I've said this before, but I'm pretty sure Erelye feels more like my real name than my real name.
  575. CAC: You tell Bomber that.
  576. CAU: legally change your name to Erelye and never get jobs ever
  577. CAC: "okay..."
  578. CAT: Hah.
  579. CSP: >greet affably
  580. CAT: Stab Hills in neck with cursed broken bottle.
  581. CAC: "Yeah, hey... Again"
  582. CAT: As Erelye, I can assure you I have one.
  583. CAC: You don't have it with you right this moment.
  584. CAT: Dammit.
  585. CFC: >Enter withour warning
  586. CAT: Just choke them to death then.
  587. CFC: >Enter with our warning*
  588. CAC: "Do you want to come-" you do so.
  589. CAT: With your bare hands.
  590. CAC: Your athleticism is incredibly low.
  591. CAC: Even lower than generic's
  592. CAU: Not cool >:C
  593. CAT: Let me kill this person, dammit.
  594. CAC: It is 2
  595. CFC: >Start tasting the wallpaper
  596. CAT: Fine, mentally debate them into a coma.
  597. CAU: Actually kill him. Hills has me locked in his basement.
  598. CAT: Hah.
  599. CSP: >ramble about your woes and mention something about owing an Old One $5
  600. CAC: You require an athleticism of 5 to choke someone to death with your habds.
  601. CAT: I will be your savior.
  602. ?GG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3m5z-MO-is&index=4&list=PLC4E9F4F6136EF251
  603. CAC: Magic isn't real, silly.
  604. CAC: Oh wait, you said debate.
  605. CAT: Correct.
  606. CAT: Yeah.
  607. CAC: What will you debate about?
  608. CFC: >Show hills your thesis on how magic is real
  609. CAT: Uh, quantum mechanics.
  610. CAC: "What mechanics?"
  611. CAT: Surely suburb me knows a thing or two about that sort of shit.
  612. CAC: "you're such a nerd"
  613. CAT: >Proceed to educate the kidnapper.
  614. CAT: "You are not going anywhere until you can explain this to me easily."
  615. CAC: You proceed to educate Bomber about quantum mechanics.
  616. CAC: He quickly falls asleep.
  617. CAC: Victory.
  618. CFC: >kidnap Bomber
  619. CAT: Okay, break into basement, and free real Bomber.
  620. CSE: >choke it now.
  621. CAC: You enter Bomber's basement.
  622. CAT: Also, kill Hills on the way back.
  623. CAC: This is so dumb
  624. CAC: .... Wait
  625. CAC: You find Bomber tied to a pole.
  626. CAC: Huh.
  627. CAT: Hah.
  628. CAC: You were right.
  629. CAC: You untie him.
  630. CSP: >Twist Plot
  631. CFC: Starting spi~~ing out super secret wizard swear words.
  632. CAT: Free him, after making him promise to give me 500 USD.
  633. CAC: But Hills is gone by the time you're back.
  634. CAC: "... No"
  635. CAC: "I owe you one though"
  636. CAT: Okay, hide in ditch, and wait for police to inevitably arrive.
  637. CAC: "which is not worth more than twenty dollars"
  638. CSP: >bemoan your lack of dosh
  639. CAT: Hmm.
  640. CAC: You hide behind a nearby bush.
  641. CAT: Can I bite Bomber's tongue off?
  642. CAC: Bomber stares at you as he calls the police.
  643. CSP: >your debts have racked quite high
  644. CAT: And sell it later?
  645. CAC: Eric arrives.
  646. CAC: He is the local cop.
  647. CAC: He and Bomber begin speaking.
  648. CAC: What will you do?
  649. CSP: >Shit wizardly robes and flee scene
  650. ?GG: punch erıc
  651. CAT: I'm going to bury underground.
  652. CAT: Dig my own grave preemptively.
  653. ?GG: and fınd hallucınogenıc drugs
  654. CFC: Using a noodle
  655. CAC: You open a nearby trapdoor and enter the tunnels.
  656. CAC: It is dark.
  657. CAC: You're not sure why the lights went oit.
  658. CAT: My nerd eyes can practically see in the dark anyways.
  659. CAC: Out
  660. CAC: You can see quite well though.
  661. CAC: You are alone.
  662. CSP: >find grue
  663. CFC: >find groot
  664. CAC: Grue?
  665. CAT: Slowly and dramatically turn around.
  666. CSE: (generic was sleeping here?)
  667. CAC: You slowly turn around.
  668. CAC: ....
  669. CSP: >play Zork and remember grue
  670. CAC: ....
  671. CAC: You catch a shadow vanishing around the cor er.
  672. CSE: oh no the grue.
  673. CAT: Follow shadow.
  674. CAT: Carefully.
  675. CAC: You stalk the shadow, turning the corner cautiously.
  676. CAC: It is a dead end.
  677. CAC: But
  678. CSP: Zork man
  679. CAC: No one's there
  680. CAT: Search walls for secret passages.
  681. CSP: The Grue gave me PTSD
  682. CFC: >Use infrared vision to search for them
  683. CAC: You search the walls for secret passages.
  684. CAT: And floors, for that matter.
  685. CAC: ... You do not find one but
  686. CAC: There is a trapdoor above this passgae
  687. CAC: Ascend?
  688. CAT: Yes.
  689. CSP: >ascend like badass
  690. CAT: ^
  691. CAC: You ascend the ladder, putting on sunglasses as you do so.
  692. CAT: Upward Movement plays in background.
  693. CAC: You are now in someone's backyard.
  694. CAC: It is next to the ocean.
  695. CUC: Back.
  696. CAT: Find out who owns the house.
  697. CAT: If related to Eric in any way, light it on fire.
  698. CAC: You examine the house and try to remember whos it is
  699. CSP: >molest(annoy) who owns this property
  700. CUC: To get off the topic of the text adventure for a second, I'm responding to Engie, and would like feedback on my planned response.
  701. CAC: It is Blue's
  702. CAT: Hmm.
  703. CSP: Don't
  704. CAT: Check to see if anyone is inside.
  705. CSP: Tha only causes
  706. CAT: If so, knock.
  707. CSP: *That
  708. CAC: You look through the back window
  709. CSP: Strife
  710. CFC: UC: Okay.
  711. CSP: Pain
  712. CAC: It occurs to you this is creepy
  713. CAT: Who cares.
  714. CAC: But still, you see no one
  715. CAT: Knock on door.
  716. CAC: You ring on the doorbell, because those are a thing
  717. CAT: Hah.
  718. CAC: Though... On a back door?
  719. CAC: You shrug
  720. CFC: UC: What did you have planned?
  721. CSP: I really would like some names
  722. CAC: Blue opens the door.
  723. CAC: "What"
  724. CAT: "Good evening."
  725. CAC: "It's the afternoon."
  726. CSP: I know that AT is Eyerle
  727. CUC: "Nobody gets special treatment in a continuity reboot. [i]Nobody.[/i] And that you are expecting special treatment just because your main RP character eats universes does not reflect well on you. Hell, Crystal exists in a state that could actually justify his retaining memories. But if this reboot happens, I'm still planning to not have him remember. Because I seem to actually have respect for the rules that
  728. Piono laid down."
  729. CFC: Toast here.
  730. CAT: " Don't care. I'm a property inspector, and this tunnel over here is off-limits according to the homeowner's association."
  731. CUC: There.
  732. CUC: Retyped it/
  733. ?GG: mh
  734. CSP: Wait
  735. CSP: Meant
  736. CSP: UC
  737. CUC: Feedback on said response?
  738. CUC: Oh.
  739. CUC: I'm Crystal.
  740. CSP: Oh
  741. CAC: "What are you talking about? Richard placed it"
  742. CSP: GODDAMNIT
  743. ?GG: I am clearly actually a vaguely defıned spırıt
  744. CAC: "Unless he changed his mind... C
  745. CAT: "Considered covering it up?"
  746. ?GG: that possesses whatever
  747. CSP: So
  748. CFC: UC: That seems reasonable
  749. CAC: "Also, you look like you're about sixteen..."
  750. CSP: Is AT Eyerle
  751. CAT: "Your point?"
  752. CAC: "Eh, why?"
  753. CFC: SP: Yes.
  754. CAT: ((I am indeed Erelye.))
  755. CSP: Also hiya Toast and Crystal
  756. CAC: She was responding to your previous comment
  757. CAT: "Good point."
  758. CSP: Thank
  759. CAT: "So, shall I leave, or have you any illegal weapons I could borrow. Mister Eric may or may not be after me."
  760. CAC: "Next time, use the front door"
  761. CAC: "Hmm?"
  762. CAC: "Uh... No, I don't think so"
  763. CAT: "You're lying."
  764. CAC: "Why are the police after you?"
  765. CAT: "May or may not have discovered a kidnapping plot?"
  766. CAC: "You asked whether I had illegal weapons you could borrow"
  767. ?GG: crys how ıs goıng
  768. CAC: "I do not"
  769. CUC: (There, post made. Some edits, but not too much.)
  770. CAT: "Pardon me. Shave that down to just weapons."
  771. CAC: "Why would the cops be after you for helping them?"
  772. CFC: (( UC: Seems reasonable, as I said before. ))
  773. CAC: "Hmm..."
  774. CAC: "Fine."
  775. CFC: I hope it gets to him, in the good sense.
  776. CSP: UC: Just hope Engie doesn't act offended again
  777. CUC: He can act offended all he fucking wants.
  778. CAC: She closes the door.
  779. CAC: ...
  780. CAC: ...
  781. CAC: ...
  782. CAC: She doesn't come back.
  783. CAT: Pull out lighter.
  784. CSP: 3/2 of a Mainframe
  785. CAT: Which I know I have.
  786. CAT: I'm me. I have a lighter.
  787. CUC: I don't care about him and his bullshit OP character who CLEARLY deserves special treatment because he's basically a Marty Stu.
  788. CAT: This is a fact.
  789. CAC: You take out a lighter from your pocket.
  790. CAC: Just then, Blue appears.
  791. CAU: Hoho.
  792. CAU: Haha.
  793. CAT: Hah.
  794. CAC: "You know I can see you right"
  795. CAT: "Yep."
  796. CAC: "Here, have this"
  797. CAU: I really need to sit down and actually write out my plot. I told it to twin a while back (since I finally got a concrete idea)
  798. CAU: and it is what I am sticking with because he likes it and I like it.
  799. CFC: I probably need to plan a character for once
  800. CSP: UC: Then stick it to him
  801. CFC: Never planned one in DTG.
  802. CAC: She tosses you a katana "Folded five thousand times, you nerd"
  803. CSP: FC: Nyarlathotep, man.
  804. CAC: "awful weapon by the way"
  805. CAT: "I expected no less from you."
  806. CFC: SP: :?
  807. CAC: "Hmm..."
  808. CAT: "I think I'll be on my way. Unless you have a desire to stab me."
  809. CSP: FC: Don't plan, have a guideline
  810. CAT: "In which case, I think I'll just sort of light the house on fire."
  811. CAC: Blue looks uncertain as to if you're sincere, but then realizes she doesn't really care.
  812. CAU: *realizes the entire neighborhood is assholes*
  813. CAC: "Use the front door next time"
  814. ?GG: contemplate whether cameras can record ın nıght vısıon
  815. CAT: "No promises."
  816. CSP: FC: That's what I did with Nyarly
  817. CFC: FC: Yeah, I just didn't really understand.
  818. CAC: ".... Now that I'm in the house a lot..."
  819. CAC: Not
  820. CFC: FC: k.
  821. CAC: She closes the door
  822. CAT: I leave.
  823. CAC: You are now on the sidewalk in front of Blue's house.
  824. CAC: What will you do?
  825. CAT: Walk over to the next nearest house.
  826. CAC: You have katana.
  827. CAC: That would be generic's
  828. CAT: Wonderful.
  829. CSP: >Rename quest Eyerle quest
  830. CAC: You knock on his door...
  831. CAC: No response
  832. CAU: >Be generic
  833. CAT: Isn't he sleeping in the tunnels?
  834. CAT: Or whatever?
  835. ?GG: yes
  836. CAC: Yes
  837. ?GG: go down ın the tunnels
  838. CAT: In that case, ignite house.
  839. ?GG: douse fıre
  840. CAT: Nah, leave it burning.
  841. CAC: You quickly ignite and douse generic's house...
  842. CAT: Stab anybody who tries to stop me.
  843. CAT: Ignite again.
  844. CAU: Ignite it twice as hard.
  845. ?GG: douse agaın, throw away lıghter
  846. CCA: ((UC, will there be terrariadop?))
  847. CAT: Pick up lighter, ignite again.
  848. CAC: You are conflicted.
  849. CUC: Fuck, a thunderstorm.
  850. CAC: Very, very conflicted
  851. CUC: I might have to unplug the computer.
  852. CAT: As Erelye Prime, I demand I light the house on fire.
  853. CUC: So, possibly no, hopefully yes.
  854. CAU: >Erelye realizes that his mind is full of formless eldritch horrors that treat him like an MSPA
  855. CAC: Do people actually do that
  856. ?GG: douse agaın, throw away lıghter
  857. CAC: You light the house on fire.
  858. CAT: You're asleep. You have no say here, GG.
  859. CAU: but UC
  860. CAC: It suddenly starts pouring rain.
  861. ?GG: darn
  862. CUC: ?
  863. CAC: The fire is doused.
  864. CAU: you can't unplug your computer in the middle of a brewing shitstorm
  865. CAT: I shout obscenities into the sky.
  866. ?GG: perf
  867. CAT: Rob Generic's house.
  868. CSP: >be Zeus
  869. CAT: Take anything of value.
  870. CAT: Also, all the books.
  871. CAC: You curse ne.
  872. CAC: Me
  873. CAC: Then pick generic's lock
  874. CSP: >smite nonbeliever
  875. CFC: I just realised none of my charcters would work in a suburban environment.
  876. CAC: No
  877. CAC: He does not have many valuables?
  878. CAC: A laptop?
  879. CAT: Take every book.
  880. ?GG: >contemplate stabbıng self
  881. CAT: Nope, you're asleep.
  882. CAT: No say.
  883. ?GG: ha
  884. CUC: hah
  885. CAT: I'll cut my arm off later, anyhow.
  886. CAC: You take all of generic's books, putting then into a convenient garbage bag.
  887. CAU: >meet up with that super cool guy you saved an indefinite amount of time ago and recruit him into your cult-party
  888. CAC: You take his laptop too
  889. ?GG: damn
  890. CAC: Shit, gtg
  891. CAC ceased responding to memo.
  892. ?GG: my laptop
  893. CAU: fff
  894. CAT: I'll buy you a new one with cult money.
  895. ?GG: DTGodmoder.
  896. CAT: I just need the data on yours.
  897. ?GG: Godmoder 100/100
  898. ?GG: Feel free to do whatever
  899. ?GG: 
  900. PAST flamingCarbohydrates [PFC] 1 MINUTE AGO responded to memo.
  901. PFC: I throw the Godmodder at the Godmoder
  902. CAT: >Be Godmoder.
  903. CUC: I type /cheats disable.
  904. PFC: Oh, whoops.
  905. CURRENT absoluteCoolness [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  906. CAC: Alright, I'm on mobile, so
  907. ?GG: >The Godmoder complaıns about Rıchard's sımılarıty to hım
  908. CSP: GG: pimpslap Godmodder
  909. CFC: I throw the godmoder at himself.
  910. ?GG: >The Godmoder refuses to let you be hım
  911. CUC: Yeah, unplugging.
  912. CAT: Alright, leave house, and recruit Bomber into cult-party, like he said. If we're still doing this.
  913. CUC: I'll be back on mobile.
  914. ?GG: whee
  915. CUC ceased responding to memo.
  916. CAC: Hmm, sure, it'll be slow tho
  917. CFC: I throw all the MnMs in the world marked with W's at the godmodder
  918. CAT: That's fine.
  919. CAC: You leave generic's house
  920. CAC: And head towards Bonber's once more
  921. CFC: 
  922. CAC: You can see Eric through the window
  923. CAU, ?AU ceased responding to memo.
  924. CAT: Use doorbell.
  925. CAC: You ring the doorbell.
  926. CSP: >slice Eric through when he answers
  927. CAC: Eric gets up to answer the door.
  928. CAT: "I'm here for the guy I rescued."
  929. ?GG: >punch Erıc
  930. CAT: "We've got something to discuss in private."
  931. CAT: No.
  932. CSP: Alright
  933. CAC: He nods.
  934. CAT: Do not punch officer.
  935. CSP: I'll stop
  936. CFC: >throw the godmoder at eric
  937. CSP: DTGodmoder
  938. CAC: Bomber comes to the door
  939. CAC: And leaves.
  940. CAC: Eric is investigating
  941. CAC: You'll have to talk outside
  942. CAT: Alright.
  943. CSP: <Murder Moder senseless
  944. CAC: "Thanks again"
  945. CAT: "I've heard from sources that you want in on the cult deal."
  946. ?GG: we're not doıng dtgmoder
  947. CSP: Aw
  948. CFC: rip
  949. CSP: You disappoint
  950. CAC: "Uh... Yea"
  951. CAC: "what sources?"
  952. CAT: "This guy in North Carolina."
  953. CAT: "You probably don't know him."
  954. CAC: "Hmm, are we in that state right now? Not sure for some reason..."
  955. CAT: "Maps say that we are in either Maine or New York. Can't tell which."
  956. CAT: "Maybe even Vermont."
  957. CAC: "Alright..."
  958. CAC: "So, can I join your cult?"
  959. CAT: "Knock on my door nine times at three in the morning next week."
  960. CAC: "Uh... Okay"
  961. CAT: "When the warden comes to answer, say 'the raven hacks at the walnut fiercely.'"
  962. CAC: "which day?"
  963. CSP: And
  964. CAT: "Tuesday."
  965. CAC: "... Alright"
  966. CSP: I've realized that Eyerle quest is in Arkham
  967. CAT: "Be sure nobody follows you."
  968. CSP: Or Innsmouth
  969. CAC: "... I doubt anybody well, but okau'
  970. CAT: I walk away.
  971. CAC: You wave and walk away.
  972. CAC: What now?
  973. CAT: I've written my number on every coffee cup in his house.
  974. ?GG: wake generıc up
  975. CAC: What
  976. CAT: No. Not yet.
  977. CAT: Just a few more things to do first.
  978. CAC: You'll wake up on your own eventually
  979. CAT: Deposit bag of stolen goods in home.
  980. ?GG: go stab generıc
  981. CAT: Lock door with eye-scanner.
  982. CAT: Then, go looking for Generic.
  983. CAC: You return to your home and toss the garbage bad in your room
  984. CAC: You have a very advanced security system.
  985. CAT: Of course.
  986. CAC: You go looking generic but... You have no idea where he could be
  987. CAT: In the tunnels.
  988. CAC: You metagame, you piece of trash
  989. CAT: I track his phone with his laptop.
  990. CAC: You find the nearest trapdoor
  991. CAC: You do that, sure
  992. CAC: You enter the tunnels
  993. CAC: It is still dark
  994. CAC: Generic is... Elsewhere in the tunnels
  995. CAT: Track him down, and wake him up.
  996. CAC: You follow the tracker to quickly find generic.
  997. CAC: You shake him.
  998. CCA: Teleport Generic to Dildo, Newfoundland witth your magic.
  999. CAC: "Huh?"
  1000. CAT: "Welcome to the land of the living. I will take your place now."
  1001. CAC: "What?"
  1002. CAT: I fall into a pseudo-stasis wherein I am both sleeping with both eyes open, and somewhat awake but also sleeping.
  1003. CAT: >Be Generic.
  1004. CURRENT universallyTraveling [CUT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1005. ?UT: Hello all.
  1006. CAC: You are now generic
  1007. CAT: /AFK.
  1008. CAC: Erelye has just awoken you, but he's now asleep?
  1009. CCA: Generic: escape the suburbs on foot and go to dildo, newfoundland
  1010. CAT: If Generic tries to kill me, I will immediately stab him to death without mercy.
  1011. CAC: He has his eyes open... Creepy
  1012. CAT: Or anybody else, really.
  1013. CSP: Hello
  1014. CAC: What will you do?
  1015. CAT: /ACTUALAFK.
  1016. CCA: Generic: escape the suburbs on foot and go to dildo, newfoundland
  1017. CAC: That's against the HOA
  1018. CAC: But you may as well try it
  1019. CAC: You leave the tunnels
  1020. CAC: ... Newfoundland is very far
  1021. CCA: who cares, do it
  1022. CCA: do it for the dildos
  1023. CAC: You do not have the athleticism
  1024. CAC: Try to find a vehicle, maybe?
  1025. CCA: the thought of dildos spurs you on
  1026. CCA: you collapse on the ground and die before leaving the suburbs
  1027. CSP: >go back into the land of the sun
  1028. CAC: no
  1029. CCA: in hell you meet crusher where he mistakes you for scp-682 and rapes you
  1030. CAC: There are nearby cars, boats, and perhaps a helicopter
  1031. CAC: Would you like to try to gain access to one?
  1032. CSE: use your generic vehicle.
  1033. CAC: You don't have your drivers license.
  1034. CAC: ... Or a car
  1035. ?GG: get all the voıces out of your head
  1036. CAC: No
  1037. CAC: You can't
  1038. ?GG: fıne
  1039. CSP: >return back to the land of the Sun
  1040. CAC: You are outside
  1041. CAC: It is evening tho
  1042. CAC: And raining
  1043. ?GG: go ınvade erelye's house
  1044. CAC: You decide to check out Erelye's house.
  1045. CAC: Unsurprisingly, there is no answer
  1046. ?GG: contemplate ınvadıng vıa tunnels
  1047. ?GG: do so
  1048. CAC: You find a nearby tunnel...
  1049. CSP ceased responding to memo.
  1050. CAC: Which is the same tunnel that leads to Erelye's house
  1051. CAC: ...
  1052. CAC: The tunnels don't end inside houses
  1053. CAC: That would be dumb
  1054. ?GG: darn.
  1055. ?GG: then how's rıchard cut the wıres
  1056. CAC: Wires go through the tunnels?
  1057. ?GG: what about wıres that don't
  1058. CAC: They all do.
  1059. CAC: HOA mandated
  1060. ?GG: okay then....
  1061. ?GG: contemplate stabbıng the doorknob
  1062. CAC: You think you should not use logic
  1063. CURRENT swarthyPharaoh [CSP] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1064. CSP: Logic?
  1065. CAC: What now?
  1066. CSP: What's that?
  1067. CAC: You don't have a stabbing item.
  1068. CSP: I hate mobile
  1069. CAC: Besides, your athleticism is too low.
  1070. CSP: And I hate
  1071. CSP: HATE
  1072. ?GG: kıck down erelye's door
  1073. CAC: You try, but...
  1074. CAC: His door seems to have a deadbolt
  1075. CAC: You doubt you could do it either way though
  1076. ?GG: fınd some cuttıng ımplement
  1077. CAT: I have an electric fence.
  1078. CSP ceased responding to memo.
  1079. CAC: If you recall, Erelye had a sheaved katana with him.
  1080. CAT: Also, three doors with various high-tech locks.
  1081. ?GG: loot erelye
  1082. ?GG: 's katana
  1083. CAT: CAT: If Generic tries to kill me, I will immediately stab him to death without mercy.
  1084. ?GG: good
  1085. CAC: You return to the tunnels and grab his katana
  1086. ?GG: I can fınally fınısh thıs death quest
  1087. ?GG: stab wıth sheathed katana
  1088. CURRENT chaosCreeper [CCC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1089. CCC: i(t)'s (t)ime for (t)he bes(t) upda(t)e in (t)he his(t)ory of upda(t)es.
  1090. ?GG: woo
  1091. CCC: prepare your fa(c)es.
  1092. ?GG: the was fıxed.
  1093. CFC: no
  1094. ?GG: you can use the agaın
  1095. CURRENT swarthyPharaoh [CSP] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1096. CSP: More like
  1097. CSP: Feces
  1098. CAC: Stab who?
  1099. CFC: I will not prepare any face of mine
  1100. CAT: Generic.
  1101. CSP: I'll go kill myself
  1102. ?GG: stab erelye wıth sheathed katana
  1103. CAT: Generic.
  1104. CAC: You take the katana out of its sheaf...
  1105. CAC: It's one of those katana umbrellas...
  1106. ?GG: ...
  1107. CAC: There is a note
  1108. ?GG: I meant stab hım whıle ıt
  1109. ?GG: 's sheathed
  1110. CFC: Katana umbrellas are awesome
  1111. CAC: Too late
  1112. CAT: I should have killed you when I had the chance.
  1113. CAC: That wouldn't work any better
  1114. ?GG: poke hım gently
  1115. CAT: >Erelye: wake up.
  1116. ?GG: ın the face
  1117. CAC: You poke Erelye awake.
  1118. CSP: Oh dear
  1119. CSP: Somebody is gunna die
  1120. CAT: Okay, I stab Generic after taking back my katana.
  1121. CAT: Seventeen times.
  1122. CSP: DEATH BATTLE
  1123. CAT: Three in the neck.
  1124. CAC: You stab him with the umbrella...
  1125. CAT: As hard as possible.
  1126. CAC: This doesn't work any better
  1127. CAT: It still hurts?
  1128. ?GG: >Generıc: bemoan lack of beıng dead
  1129. CAC: Your athelicisn is even lower than his
  1130. ?GG: 
  1131. CAT: Keep on trying until I kill him.
  1132. CAT: Stab him in the eyes.
  1133. CAC: Generic turns around and leaves.
  1134. CAT: Dammit.
  1135. CAT: Use lighter on him before he leaves.
  1136. CAC: You.... Light the lighter and throw it at him.
  1137. CAC: This...
  1138. CAC: Works?
  1139. CAT: Woo.
  1140. CAC: His shirt catches on fire.
  1141. CAT: MURDER SUCCESSFUL.
  1142. ?GG: >Generıc: stop drop and roll
  1143. CAC: Generic falls to the floor, stop, drop, and rolling away to sadety.
  1144. CAT: I grab the lighter, and repeat.
  1145. CAC: You run to the lighter but... Generic has rolled around the corner.
  1146. CAT: Give chase.
  1147. CAT: NO SURVIVORS>
  1148. CAT: *.
  1149. CFC: >Toast: Trip over generic.
  1150. CAC: You run after him.
  1151. CSP ceased responding to memo.
  1152. CAT: Track him using laptop if needed.
  1153. CAC: As you round the corner, you trip over generic.
  1154. CAC: You unceremoniously fall to the floor
  1155. ?GG: punch generıc
  1156. CAT: Uh, throttle him to death whilst on level plane.
  1157. CCC: A(t)(t)emp(t) (t)o ha(c)k a (c)hair in(t)o (t)he game righ(t) over where Erelye fell
  1158. CCC: oh damn ano(t)her (c)api(t)al le(t)(t)er
  1159. CCC: i will break (t)his (c)urse.
  1160. CAT: I must taste his blood before I will relent.
  1161. CAT: Literally.
  1162. CAC: This is somewhat pathetic
  1163. CAT: >Go Grimdark.
  1164. CAC: The scene of two unathtic nerds
  1165. CAC: Trying to fight each other
  1166. CFC: CC: what if you make a quirk where capitalised le~~ers are uncapitalised.
  1167. ?GG: contemplate startıng fıght club
  1168. CAC: Sburb in real
  1169. CAC: Isn't
  1170. CCC: why would i do (t)ha(t)
  1171. CAT: Light Generic on fire again.
  1172. CCC: i (c)an hardly en(t)er (c)api(t)al le(t)(t)ers anyway
  1173. CAT: Hold him down this time, without burning self.
  1174. CFC: because you can
  1175. CAT: Use katana to hold him down.
  1176. CAC: The god of this universe has never watches homestuck.
  1177. CFC: or maybe you can't
  1178. ?GG: >shove lıghter ınto hıs throat
  1179. CAC: You try, but... Generic has 1 higher athleticism than you
  1180. ?GG: darn
  1181. CAC: You are disadvantaged
  1182. CAT: Sure. Shove lighter down Generic's throat, as he requested.
  1183. CFC: since you;d need to put in the capital le~~ers to give the system an indication of what it is transforming
  1184. CAT: We are both working for this.
  1185. ?GG: >generıc: shove lıghter down own throat
  1186. CAC: ...
  1187. CAT: >Erelye: Help him.
  1188. CAC: Generic commits suicide by lighter.
  1189. CAT: Woo.
  1190. ?GG: woooooooo
  1191. CAC: Generic has died.
  1192. CAT: Attempt to sever head from body.
  1193. CAT: In memoriam.
  1194. CAC: You use the umbrella to slowly saw his head off
  1195. CFC: >Toast: Enter as new challenger.
  1196. CAC: It works, eventually
  1197. CFC: Somehow
  1198. CAT: Okay, now taste his blood, and take pics.
  1199. CAC: ... You do that
  1200. CAC: No description
  1201. CAT: >Become the vampire.
  1202. CAC: Vampires aren't real, silly.
  1203. CAT: >Become fake vampire.
  1204. CAC: You... Do that?
  1205. CAT: There. Now, loot body.
  1206. CAT: Keep the head, obviously. I can use that.
  1207. CAC: You take generic's phone
  1208. CAC: And head
  1209. CAC: You take his wallet too
  1210. CAT: Okay, now exit tunnels.
  1211. CAT: Also, take lighter from lungs.
  1212. ?GG: >cut lıghter out of body
  1213. CAT: I need that.
  1214. CAC: You leave the tunnels, exiting in front of your house.
  1215. CAT: /MomentaryAFK.
  1216. CAC: You do that, but... It may not be functional
  1217. ?GG: test lıghter
  1218. CAC: The flame flickers, then fades.
  1219. CAC: Still, it is alive.
  1220. CFC: >doot doot
  1221. CAT: /UNAFK.
  1222. CAT: Alright, now carefully deposit loot and head in house.
  1223. CURRENT abyssalUnderlord [CAU] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1224. CAU: i'm back
  1225. CAU: what happened while i was gone
  1226. CAT: I killed Generic.
  1227. CAT: Generic helped me do it.
  1228. ?GG: I helped
  1229. ?GG: 
  1230. CAT: 
  1231. ?GG: oh rıght:
  1232. CAC: You enter your house and throw all of generic's things in
  1233. CAT: Also, you're going to be joining the cult next week.
  1234. ?GG: dıd you see batlexander manılton
  1235. CAT: Okay, find Twin's house next.
  1236. CAT: Link?
  1237. CAC: You quickly find Twin's house.
  1238. CAC: Knock?
  1239. ?GG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rYv2xUijII
  1240. CAT: Knock.
  1241. CAU: >Knock. Profesionally.
  1242. CAT: ^
  1243. CAU: EXCEPT I CANNOT SPELL WHAT
  1244. CAU: PROFESSIONALLY. JESUSF
  1245. CAC: You knock, and Twin answers...
  1246. CAC: Or rather... Split
  1247. CAC: "What do you want?"
  1248. CAT: "Hello. I have just killed somebody. Want some body parts?"
  1249. CAC: He stares at you...
  1250. CAC: "You a cop?"
  1251. CAT: "Nah."
  1252. CAT: "I run a cult."
  1253. CAT: "Also, I'm fuckin' sixteen."
  1254. CAU: Have I been recruited yet?
  1255. CURRENT swarthyPharaoh [CSP] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1256. CSP: Alright Ciao for now everyone
  1257. CAT: Oui.
  1258. CAT: See you.
  1259. CFC: cya
  1260. CAC: "Hmm... Hypothetically"
  1261. CSE: hasfbafvhbadvfhabdvbhadvbhadhvbad.
  1262. CSE: adios.
  1263. CAT: I show Split the severed head.
  1264. CFC: I swear this color keeps chaanging.
  1265. CAC: "Woah... Can I have it?"
  1266. CAT: I hand Split the head.
  1267. CAC: He takes it, and examines it.
  1268. CAC: "What's in this for you?"
  1269. CFC: (As one might)
  1270. CSP ceased responding to memo.
  1271. CAT: "Clearly, I want to form a gang where we do this on a regular basis."
  1272. CAT: "It helps with the cult rituals, as well."
  1273. CAT: "Even if magic is fake as shit."
  1274. CAC: "Is this an invitation?"
  1275. CSE: Boccob is not happy about this.
  1276. CAT: "Do you want it to be?"
  1277. CAT: (Also, GG, this is amazing.)
  1278. ?GG: ınded
  1279. CAC: "... I will have to think about it. Build would not be happy at all"
  1280. CFC: /afk
  1281. CAT: "He doesn't need to know, does he?"
  1282. CUT ceased responding to memo.
  1283. CCC made UC an OP.
  1284. CURRENT universallyCognizant [CUC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1285. CUC: Hello all.
  1286. CAT: Hello.
  1287. ?GG: yo
  1288. CAC: "He has ways of finding out"
  1289. CAT: "Surely, he wouldn't rat us out."
  1290. CSE: time to go, sayonara.
  1291. CSE ceased responding to memo.
  1292. CAC: "maybe... That's why I have to think on it"
  1293. CAT: "Alright. Call me if you reach a decision, I suppose."
  1294. CAT: "Ciao. The pleasure was mine."
  1295. CAC: "Will do"
  1296. CAT: I look at the houses I have not yet visited.
  1297. CAC: Hmm
  1298. CAC: Cobalt
  1299. CAC: Engie
  1300. CAC: Richard
  1301. CAC: Uzi
  1302. CAC: ... And more
  1303. CAT: The last three are already all out, so Cobalt.
  1304. CAT: Perhaps I could get some deadly chemicals.
  1305. CAC: You knock on Cobalt's door
  1306. CAT: Or even some fluorine. That'll work too.
  1307. CAC: No answer, you hear someone freaking out inside
  1308. CAT: I look in the window.
  1309. CAC: The curtain is closed...
  1310. CAT: I softly say, "How dead are you, in there?"
  1311. CAT: "Scale of one to ten."
  1312. CAC: Cobalt doesn't hear you...
  1313. CAC: I mean
  1314. CAT: Break window with katana and immediately step back.
  1315. CAC: You shatter the window, and step back
  1316. CAC: Cobalt appears in the window, heavy weed killing equipment in hand
  1317. CAT: "There a problem in there?"
  1318. CAC: He points the nozzle at you
  1319. CAT: Dodge.
  1320. CAC: He hasn't fired...
  1321. CAC: "What. The. Hell?
  1322. CAC: "
  1323. CAT: "You sounded distressed."
  1324. CAT: "I can pay for the window, if needed."
  1325. CAT: "Possibly even get you a better one."
  1326. CAC: "Ah... I'm fine, just a bit worried..."
  1327. CAC: "No, no, you're just a kid..."
  1328. CAT: "I can still pay."
  1329. CCC: say if you go (t)o ire's house i'll roleplay him.
  1330. CCC: i(t)'ll be... qui(c)k.
  1331. CAT: "Believe me, I'll pay."
  1332. CAC: "Really, don't worry about it"
  1333. CAC: "Richard pays me a ton"
  1334. ?GG: pıss ın fountaın
  1335. CAT: "I see. Well, care to say what you were worried about?"
  1336. CAT: Also, don't piss in fountain.
  1337. ?GG: pıss ın fountaın
  1338. CAT: No.
  1339. ?GG: pıss ın fountaın
  1340. CAT: Erelye Prime says no.
  1341. CAT: Also, you're dead.
  1342. ?GG: pıss ın fountaın
  1343. CAT: No.
  1344. ?GG: pıss ın fountaın
  1345. CAC: "Oh, uh.. Someone found out something private"
  1346. CAT: "Anything I can do to help?"
  1347. CAC: "Not really."
  1348. CAT: "Alright. I'll just be on my way, then? Sorry about the window, again."
  1349. CAT: "Unless you need anything."
  1350. CAC: "No, goodbye"
  1351. CAT: I wave, and exit the property.
  1352. CAC: You do that.
  1353. CAT: Go back home.
  1354. ?GG: pıss ın fountaın
  1355. CAT: Reinforce security.
  1356. CAT: No.
  1357. CAC: You quickly do that
  1358. ?GG: pıss ın fountaın
  1359. CAT: Check stats.
  1360. CAC: Not that
  1361. CAC: Stats:
  1362. CUC: >Go to Ire's house.
  1363. CAT: Not yet.
  1364. CAT: Soon, though.
  1365. CAC: Athleticism: 2
  1366. CAC: Intelligence: 8
  1367. CAC: Sturdiness: 4
  1368. CAC: That's it.
  1369. CAC: There's only three stats
  1370. CAT: Use Generic's stolen books to increase INT.
  1371. CCA: diarrhea dump in fountain
  1372. CAT: No.
  1373. ?GG: pıss ın fountaın
  1374. CCA: explosive diarrhea dump in fountain
  1375. CAT: Nothing involving fountains.
  1376. CUC: spit in fountain
  1377. CAC: You try, but his books are all very low intelligence...
  1378. CAT: Ever. Unless I say something.
  1379. CCA: shit all over foutain
  1380. ?GG: kıck fountaın
  1381. CAT: Combine them all, and try again.
  1382. CAC: You lose one intelligence point.
  1383. CUC: sit in fountain
  1384. CCA: hah
  1385. CAT: Hah.
  1386. CAC: You try again.
  1387. ?GG: damn
  1388. CUC: Hah.
  1389. ?GG: why are my books shıt
  1390. CAC: You regain one intelligence point.
  1391. CCA: "you lose another intelligence point"
  1392. CAT: Hah.
  1393. CAT: Okay, bury book in backyard.
  1394. CAC: ... You do so
  1395. CAC: /brb
  1396. CAT: Then, buy latest textbooks online.
  1397. CUC: 1-11'-1
  1398. CAT: Wouldn't that just be 2-1?
  1399. CAT: Wait, nevermind.
  1400. CAT: Thinking of something else.
  1401. CAT: Hah, not heh.
  1402. CCA: shit in the fountain repeatedly
  1403. CAT: Nothing involving fountains.
  1404. CCA: fine
  1405. CCA: shit all over your house
  1406. CAT: Not that either.
  1407. ?GG: kıck fountaın repeatedly
  1408. CCA: and shit all over the neighborhood
  1409. CCA: and shit all over richard' house
  1410. CAT: Nothing Cobalt says.
  1411. CCA ceased responding to memo.
  1412. FUTURE totallynotCobalt [FTC] 1 MINUTE FROM NOW responded to memo.
  1413. FTC: shit all over the neighborhood I second that
  1414. ?GG: pffff
  1415. CAT banned FTC from responding to memo: [Nope.].
  1416. CURRENT chemicalAssailant [CCA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1417. CCA: fiiiine
  1418. CAC: Your bank balance is currently $1500
  1419. CAT: Check cost of finest textbooks.
  1420. CAC: How many dollars of textbooks will you buy?
  1421. CCA: expend $133.7 on a hacking textbook
  1422. ?GG: pff
  1423. CCC: >Equip (t)he neares(t) bank as a ha(t)
  1424. CAC: Keep in mind your already high intelligence stat will make it hard to increase
  1425. CCC ceased responding to memo.
  1426. CAT: What's the highest possible INT level?
  1427. ?GG: >buy gym equıpment
  1428. CURRENT anotherCreeper [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1429. CAC: 12. Obviously.
  1430. CAC: The most expensive textbook you can understand is $1000
  1431. CAC: 10
  1432. CAT: Alright. Spend $20 on Hamilton cast album, and buy that textbook.
  1433. ?GG: haha
  1434. CAC: Your bank balance is now $480
  1435. CAC: Your items immediately arrive at your doorstep
  1436. CAC: Almost like magic
  1437. CAT: Read textbook.
  1438. CAT: >:O
  1439. CUC: Listen to album.
  1440. CAT: That too.
  1441. CAC: It is a fascinating book about some sort of intelligent topic.
  1442. CAT: ESPECIALLY that.
  1443. CAT: Nice.
  1444. CUC: (On a Hamilton-related note, some people were playing Hamilton songs at school today. It was awesome.)
  1445. CAC: You listen to music at the same time.
  1446. ?GG: neat
  1447. CAC: >Balance your bank. On your head. WE NEED HATS PEOPLE
  1448. CAT: Cool.
  1449. CAC: You gain one intelligence!
  1450. CAC: Intelligence: 9
  1451. CAT: Woo.
  1452. ?GG: >buy gym equıpment
  1453. CAT: No.
  1454. CAC: No, ten is not the literal highest IQ
  1455. ?GG: you need to be able to stab people
  1456. ?GG: you should defınıtely do ıt
  1457. CAT: Check around for upgrades I can make on the katana in the house.
  1458. CAC: It's an umbrella
  1459. CAT: I just need to improve the weapon, not waste time on gym equipment.
  1460. CAT: Uh, attach a taser to the tip of the umbrella.
  1461. CAC: You find a taser
  1462. CAT: Alternatively, alter umbrella so it can shoot ricin pellets.
  1463. CAC: ... It requires firing, this this work.
  1464. CAC: Won't
  1465. CAT: That would be much cooler.
  1466. CAC: Why do you not just use the taser though, you wonder
  1467. CAT: No, that's boring.
  1468. CAT: Possibly, if that's the only option, but not at first.
  1469. CUC: Fucking birds in HLD.
  1470. ?GG: mh
  1471. ?GG: north?
  1472. CUC: Ye.
  1473. CUC: Mountain.
  1474. ?GG: mh
  1475. CAC: You create am umbrella able to fire poison pellets bu
  1476. ?GG: nıce
  1477. CAC: You have no ricin
  1478. CAT: Dammit.
  1479. CAT: Order some online.
  1480. CAT: For 50 bucks or so.
  1481. CAT: That's clearly reasonable.
  1482. CUC: Yess.
  1483. CAT: Alternatively, try to get some botulinium.
  1484. CAC: You easily find a ricin store
  1485. CUC: Three gold!
  1486. CAC: And it is very cheap, at only $30
  1487. CUC: Getting me the multidash soon.
  1488. CAC: Not suspicious at all...
  1489. CAT: Check for botulinium first.
  1490. CAC: Order ricin?
  1491. CAT: No.
  1492. CAT: Not yet.
  1493. CAC: There is none within your price range.
  1494. CAT: Hmm, do I have any rat poison in the house?
  1495. CAT: Or weed killer?
  1496. CAC: No, Cobalt handles the pests in the neighborhood
  1497. CAC: Ditto
  1498. CAT: Any sort of poison from cult business?
  1499. CAT: I would probably have some dimethylcadmium.
  1500. CAC: Sure, why bot.
  1501. CAC: Not
  1502. CAT: Woo, I now have what is literally the most deadly poison on Earth.
  1503. CAC: What is it
  1504. CAC: ... Nevermind
  1505. CAT: Dammit.
  1506. CAT: Probably for the best.
  1507. CAT: Uh, what do I have that could be used to poison people?
  1508. CAC: That could be made into pellets? Not much, likely.
  1509. CAT: Also, use Hamilton cast album to improve and create a Culture stat.
  1510. CAC: Normally? Cleaning supplies and such, perhaps.
  1511. CAT: Any bleach?
  1512. CAC: Your culture stat goes up by 1.
  1513. CAC: Yes.
  1514. CAT: Nice.
  1515. CAT: Okay, any pellet-shaped easily-replicated objects?
  1516. CUC: Haha, this is so cool.
  1517. CAC: Uh...
  1518. CAC: Probably not
  1519. CAT: Any pebbles?
  1520. ?GG: what's so cool, uc
  1521. CAC: Sure, but not round.
  1522. CAT: Carve pebbles down into necessary size and shape.
  1523. CAT: With whatever tools I have available.
  1524. CAC: You spend days doing so.
  1525. CAT: Hah.
  1526. CAT: Do I have them now?
  1527. CAC: You have twenty pebbles to show for it...
  1528. CAC: Perhaps you should work on your athleticism
  1529. CAT: Okay, coat pebbles in bleach.
  1530. CAT: Also, later.
  1531. CAC: You do so
  1532. CAT: Load umbrella.
  1533. CAC: You do so, crating the Bleach Umbrella
  1534. CAT: Woo.
  1535. CAC: Get it, it's a pun
  1536. CAT: Okay, check house for anything else useful.
  1537. CUC: The multidash is what's so cool.
  1538. CAC: Umbrella: +1 athleticism, Pellets x20 +2 athleticism
  1539. CAT: Nice.
  1540. CAC: Only for combat purposes, of course
  1541. ?GG: ah
  1542. CAT: Yeah.
  1543. ?GG: neat
  1544. CAC: You have many things
  1545. CAT: Such as?
  1546. CAC: You would likely get further by looking for specific items
  1547. CAT: Look for health-restoring objects. Just in case.
  1548. CAC: That's not how real life works, but
  1549. CAT: Also, various things that might help me discover traps, or escape.
  1550. CAC: You find a First Aid Kit
  1551. CAT: This is a pseudo-game.
  1552. CAT: Okay, take that.
  1553. CAT: Is there anything else of value I might have?
  1554. CAT: Not even in particular.
  1555. CAT: Just regular things.
  1556. CAC: First Aid Kit: +25% HP
  1557. CAC: You have 5 HP per sturdiness, so 20
  1558. CAC: It's not a complicated stat system
  1559. CAT: Hah.
  1560. CAC: You take some ropes
  1561. CAT: Any crowbars?
  1562. CAC: You deal one damage per athleticism
  1563. CAC: And intelligence is subjective
  1564. CAC: You take a crowbar
  1565. CAT: Do the pellets inflict poison, actually?
  1566. CAT: As they are covered in bleach.
  1567. CAC: Crowbar: +3 athleticism
  1568. CURRENT caledfwlchUnleashed [CCU] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1569. CCU: AMBUSH!!!
  1570. CCU: hellows.
  1571. ?GG: yo
  1572. CAT: Hello.
  1573. CAC: Their poison is already accounted for
  1574. CAT: Okay, that should be good. Thanks.
  1575. CAT: Exit house, and head over to Ire's.
  1576. CAC: Status effects would over complicated the conbat
  1577. CCU: i'm trying to avoid all sources of april fools day right now?
  1578. ?GG: mh
  1579. CAC: This was not meant to be a combat game
  1580. CAT: April Fools no longer exists after 4 PM.
  1581. CAC: You head to Ire's house.
  1582. ?GG: youtube has a very ıgnorable snoopvısıon button
  1583. CAT: Ring bell.
  1584. CCU: Yeah, didn't notice that.
  1585. CAC: AC
  1586. CAC ceased responding to memo.
  1587. ?GG: ...and also CU
  1588. CURRENT chaosCreeper [CCC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1589. CCC: an idio(t) walks ou(t) of (t)he house. oh my.
  1590. CAC: Well now
  1591. ?GG: 2k dıd an aprıl fool
  1592. CCC: i(t)'s ire.
  1593. CAT: "Hello, good sir."
  1594. CCC: who would've guessed. (t)he wors(t) (c)hara(c)(t)er in exis(t)an(c)e.
  1595. CCC: he s(t)ares a(t) you like an idio(t), be(c)ause (t)ha(t)'s wha(t) he is.
  1596. CCC: he (t)hen rambles on abou(t) (c)hairs. only (t)hose wi(t)h an in(t)elligen(c)e of 10 or higher (c)ould possibly hope (t)o unders(t)and him.
  1597. CCC: he promp(t)ly ignores your gree(t)ing.
  1598. CAT: Seeing as I have the only Culture point in the game, I clearly have the verbal advantage.
  1599. CCA: gg: where
  1600. ?GG: 0gıns
  1601. CCC: you abuse your (c)ul(t)ure poin(t) (t)o (t)alk (t)o him.
  1602. CAC: I'm going to make stats while this happens
  1603. CCC: "ge(t) off my lawn plz" goes (t)he silly (c)hairheir.
  1604. CAT: K.
  1605. CCC: wow su(c)h an in(t)elligen(t) (c)hara(c)(t)er.
  1606. CCC: don'(t) you love him?
  1607. CCC: so good wow
  1608. CAT: I take a step back, off the lawn, looking at him all the while.
  1609. CAC: Smart Phone: +2 intelligence, but only up to 5.
  1610. CCC: he s(t)ares you down as you s(t)ep ba(c)k.
  1611. CCU: you are still covered in shit from your foray into Netpatham's hosue.
  1612. CCC: "far(t)her."
  1613. CCU: That was still a thing.
  1614. CCU: |t didn't stop being a thing.
  1615. ?GG: we're erelye.
  1616. CAC: Laptop: +3 intelligence, but only up to 6
  1617. CAT: We're a different character.
  1618. ?GG: and I dıed
  1619. CCU: You did it too.
  1620. ?GG: on purpose
  1621. CAT: I killed him.
  1622. ?GG: no he dıdn't
  1623. CCU: .
  1624. CCC: you fail (t)o s(t)ep ba(c)k in (t)ime. he (t)hrows a (c)hair a(t) you, be(c)ause he is a ni(c)e person.
  1625. CCU: feh.
  1626. CAT: I graciously accept the chair.
  1627. CAC: Equipment is so OP shit if you are noticed
  1628. CAT: "What a gift."
  1629. CAC: Some
  1630. CAT: Yep.
  1631. CCC: you a(c)(c)ep(t) (t)he (c)hair (t)o your head.
  1632. CCU: 
  1633. CAT: With my hands.
  1634. CCC: i (t)hen promp(t)ly leave (t)he room, as i don'(t) (t)hink i (c)an roleplay ire any be(t)(t)er (t)ha(t) i have now
  1635. CCC: pea(c)eeee
  1636. CCU: CATCH{?}
  1637. CCC ceased responding to memo.
  1638. CAT: Well, then.
  1639. CAC: Ire closes his door.
  1640. CAT: Search lawn for garden gnomes.
  1641. CCU: ...AC {pinkish AC}, how goes dop?
  1642. CURRENT anotherCreeper [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1643. CAC: good
  1644. CAC: There is a single garden gnome
  1645. CAT: Take it.
  1646. CAC: The fabled "chaosdop" is going well
  1647. CAC: Chair: Useless
  1648. CAT: Just one.
  1649. CAC: You take it
  1650. CAT: Replace it with chair.
  1651. CAT: Like Indiana Jones.
  1652. CAC: You put the chair in its place
  1653. CCU: UC, how goes the terrariadop?
  1654. CUC: Bluh.
  1655. CAT: /MomentaryAFK.
  1656. CAC: Not like Indiana Jones, as none of the chair's weight is on the gnome spot
  1657. CAC: Garden Gnome: +25 athleticism
  1658. CAC: >Ire: Question moment of lost sanity.
  1659. CAC: Garden Gnome's Hat: -23 athlectism
  1660. CAT: /UNAFK.
  1661. CFC: can glitches glitch?
  1662. CAT: Still an improvement.
  1663. CAC: Not over the crowbar...
  1664. CAT: Fair enough.
  1665. CAT: Check current stats.
  1666. CAT: Also, rename "DTG Suburb AU" "Erelyequest 2016".
  1667. CAC: HP: 20/20 ATH: 3 + 3 INT: 9 STD: 4
  1668. CAC: Inventory: Bleach Umbrella (20), Crowbar, Garden Gnome with Hat, Smartphone, Laptop, Rope, First Aid Kit
  1669. CAC: I think that's all
  1670. CAT: Sounds good enough to me. Head back home, and place gnome on heavily-guarded lawn.
  1671. CAT: With the hat, of course.
  1672. CAC: Also 1 culture, which totally isn't a fake stat
  1673. CAT: Hah.
  1674. CAT: It's essentially Persuasion.
  1675. CAT: From TES.
  1676. CAC: You head home and place the gnome on your lawn.
  1677. CAC: Hmm
  1678. CAC: I mean, I'm making this up on the spot while on my phone
  1679. CAT: Hah.
  1680. CAC: I'll make a better system tomorrow, probably
  1681. CAT: Check heist map for houses I have not yet visited.
  1682. CAT: Mind you, houses that will not get me killed.
  1683. CAC: You technical have not hoisted moat of the houses you've visited...
  1684. CAC: Heisted
  1685. CAC: Most
  1686. CAT: Fine, visited.
  1687. CAT: I have sadly only performed a single heist.
  1688. ?GG: waıt dıdn't I loot npatham
  1689. CAT: Hmm. Check time. Is it Tuesday yet?
  1690. ?GG: loot my corpse or somethıng
  1691. CAT: I already did?
  1692. CAC: It is Saturday
  1693. ?GG: oh really
  1694. CAT: Okay.
  1695. ?GG: huh
  1696. CAT: Check phone for messages from Split.
  1697. CAC: Net's stuff was shit
  1698. CURRENT swarthyPharaoh [CSP] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
  1699. CSP: Wow
  1700. CSP:
  1701. CAC: He hasn't messaged you yet...
  1702. CSP: Whoops
  1703. CAT: Check messages in general.
  1704. CAC: It occurs to you he may habetyour number
  1705. CAC: Not have
  1706. CAT: Phone books exist.
  1707. CAC: For cellphones?
  1708. CSP: This is still going
  1709. CAT: Also, p sure this is that kind of small town where everybody knows each other.
  1710. CSP: I demand this in an archived form
  1711. CAC: You have no messages.
  1712. CAC: Eh, I guess.
  1713. CAC: Still, he'll get back to you later
  1714. CAT: Check both my laptop and Generic's for information of interest.
  1715. CAC: Spending days making pellets was a gag
  1716. CAC: Not a timeskip
  1717. CAT: Fair enough.
  1718. CAC: You check Generic's laptop first...
  1719. CAC: He has several emails
  1720. CAT: Read all of them.
  1721. CAC: From: Cobalt
  1722. CSP ceased responding to memo.
  1723. ?GG: The xkcd Aprıl 1st comıc ıs currently experıencıng technıcal dıffıcultıes. Status update: Please stand by. Status update: Thıs ıs fıne. Everythıng ıs fıne. Status update: Everythıng ıs on fıre. Status update: Searchıng for calendar systems ın whıch Saturday ıs Aprıl 1st.
  1724. CAC: Hey, uh... How did you know I have some... Talk to me tomorrow, please
  1725. CAC: These are short emails
  1726. CAC: From: Modpack
  1727. CAT: Hmm, haven't checked his house yet.
  1728. CAC: Hey, I have all your favourite memes, new shipment from Columbia.
  1729. CAC: Drop by my house with some cash
  1730. ?GG: ...
  1731. CAT: Any other emails?
  1732. ?GG: pretty sure you stole my stuff from my house
  1733. CAC: From: Blue
  1734. CAC: Erelye's so creepy.
  1735. CAT: Hah.
  1736. ?GG: hah
  1737. CAC: These are basically texts
  1738. CAC: That's all.
  1739. CAT: Okay.
  1740. CAT: Also, Generic, I meant Modpack's house.
  1741. CAT: Check heist map for Modpack's house. If I cannot find it, look for nearest hipster cafe.
  1742. CAC: You know where his house is.
  1743. CAC: But are you sure you want to heistit?
  1744. CAC: He is an illicit meme dealer
  1745. CAT: Nah, that's just the slang term for visiting.
  1746. CAT: For now.
  1747. CAC: Quite the prolific one, if rumours are to be believed
  1748. CAC: You leave to visit Modpack.
  1749. CAT: If need be, I'll give him some cash. My cat knows a meme addict.
  1750. CAC: He answers the door before you knock
  1751. CAT: The cat that definitely exists here.
  1752. CAT: "Bonsoir."
  1753. CAC: "Erelye, Erelye, you looking for anything?"
  1754. CAT: I pull out eighty bucks.
  1755. CAC: "Come in, come in"
  1756. CAT: I check the area for cops before entering.
  1757. CAC: Eric is hiding behind a bush!
  1758. CAC: Oh wait, that's just a leather jacket.
  1759. CAC: There are no cops.
  1760. CAT: Take leather jacket.
  1761. CAC: You grab the leather jacket.
  1762. CAC: Leather Jacket: +1 Sturdiness
  1763. CAT: Discreetly text Eric to come over here whilst messing around in bush.
  1764. CAC: You do so.
  1765. CAT: Then, enter house.
  1766. CAC: He tells you he'll be there in five
  1767. CAC: You do so
  1768. CAT: Wonderful.
  1769. CAT: I hand Modpack $40. "Half now, half later, yes?"
  1770. CAC: Modpack laughs "You think I'm going to cheat $40 off you?"
  1771. CAC: "I make millions from this business, kid"
  1772. CAT: "Depends on the quality of your... product."
  1773. CAC: "Whatever, whatever"
  1774. CAT: "How much you charging?"
  1775. CAC: He takes out an USB "Depends on what you want..."
  1776. CAT: Has it been five minutes yet?
  1777. CAC: Almost
  1778. ?GG: "What do you have?"
  1779. CAT: "Illicit, but not too illicit.
  1780. CAT: 8"
  1781. CAT: Fuck, *"
  1782. CAC: "Hmm, a newbie, huh? How about some of the classics?"
  1783. CAT: "We talkin' dank, or spoiled here?
  1784. CAC: "you interested in image macros?"
  1785. CAT: *"
  1786. CAC: A knock on the door.
  1787. CAT: "I'll get it."
  1788. CAC: Modpack nods
  1789. CAT: I open the door, and examine the visitor.
  1790. CAT: If it is Eric, I wink.
  1791. CAC: ... It is, and you do
  1792. CAT: I let him in, discreetly gestureing to the USB.
  1793. CAT: *gesturing.
  1794. CAC: One of the fitedops is done
  1795. ?GG: woo
  1796. CAC: As Eric approaches, Modpack turns around.
  1797. CAT: I pretend to appear surprised.
  1798. CAC: "What the hell? You let a cop in?"
  1799. CAT: My Culture stat also makes me a good actor.
  1800. CAT: "What are you talking about? He's my other supplier."
  1801. CAT: "Haven't you seen the department's other dealings?"
  1802. CAC: He drops the USB on the floor, and turns to fave Eric.
  1803. CAC: "What are you talking about?"
  1804. ?GG: fave?
  1805. CAT: I calmly watch the inevitable arrest occur.
  1806. CAC: Today on DTG: Chaos: People die. Two people.
  1807. CAC: Or rather, are about to die.
  1808. ?GG: oh?
  1809. CAC: Modpack quickly stomps the USB underfoot, crushing it.
  1810. CAT: It's too late already.
  1811. CAC: Eric pauses...
  1812. ?GG: nııııııce
  1813. CAC: "Uh, you know kid, I usually need a warrant for these things"
  1814. ?GG: haha sucks to be those guys
  1815. CAT: "You are working off of a tip, are you not?"
  1816. ?GG: (the pc dudes)
  1817. CAC: "Can't just go entering people's houses"
  1818. CAT: "You were invited in, were you not?"
  1819. CCU: AC: You may need to update the Faceless skill to change into other entities.
  1820. CAC: "God, I'm going to be in so much trouble"
  1821. CAT: "If he isn't a meme dealer, that is. I'll take the blame if he isn't."
  1822. CCU: This is the most awkward arrest of a meme dealer ever.
  1823. CCU: Or anything ever really.
  1824. CAT: Hah, yeah.
  1825. CCU: |'m having a hard time imaginging anything more awkward.
  1826. ?GG: so tazz:
  1827. CCU: yes?
  1828. ?GG: chaos ıs murderıng now
  1829. CAC: "Due process, kid! This ain't a movie, you can just go breaking laws to enforce the"
  1830. CAC: Can't
  1831. CAC: Them
  1832. ?GG: the dorks are gettıng murdered for traıtor
  1833. ?GG: :D
  1834. CCU: | saw.
  1835. CAT: Hmm.
  1836. CAC: Eric starts apologizing to Modpack
  1837. CAT: I quietly slip away.
  1838. ?GG: fınd way to kıll modpack
  1839. CAT: My mistake was interacting with Eric.
  1840. CCU: 
  1841. CCU: eric interaction mistake
  1842. CCU: we all make them 
  1843. CAC: Probably
  1844. CAT: Alas.
  1845. CAC: You do that
  1846. CAT: Okay, how probable is it that they will both die if I light the house on fire, and close the exit?
  1847. CCU: AC, because | can't copy-paste the note text in chaos'es skill, can you do that for me?
  1848. CAC: I mean, it's a door
  1849. CAC: They can open it
  1850. CAT: I can block it.
  1851. CAC: highlight it and use ctrl+c
  1852. CAC: that's the best way to copy it
  1853. CAC: Eh, he has windows and such
  1854. CAC: Unlikely
  1855. CAT: Eh, fair enough.
  1856. CAT: I head back home.
  1857. CAT: >Erelye: Check Heist Map.
  1858. CAC: You do so.
  1859. CAC: ... Things remain the sane
  1860. CAC: Same
  1861. CAT: Any other people who won't kill me that I haven't visited?
  1862. CCU: Darnit, it's not hex.
  1863. CCU: Thought it was hex.
  1864. CAC: You imagine many wouldn't kill you if they weren't there for the robbery
  1865. CUC: Back.
  1866. CAC: Most would if they were though
  1867. CAT: Okay, time to go to Crystal's.
  1868. CUC: Ooh, the PCs are dying.
  1869. CUC: Good riddance, heh.
  1870. CCU: Anyone here know how to really decode stuff?
  1871. CAT: I visit Crystal's house.
  1872. CAC: You head towards Crystal's house
  1873. CCU: | have something to decode, fast.
  1874. CCU: Assuming it hasn't already been broken.
  1875. CUC: Is that the Chaos thing?
  1876. CAT: Ring bell.
  1877. CUC: Or something else?
  1878. CAC: You knock on the door, and he answers.
  1879. CUC: In either case, sec, gotta watch this game portray me.
  1880. CAC: "Oh hey Erelte, haven't seen you in a while"
  1881. CAT: Who the fuck is Erelte?
  1882. ??? universallyCognizant [?UC] ??:?? FROM ???? responded to memo.
  1883. ?UC: "I have no idea."
  1884. CAC: Erelye
  1885. CAT: Perhaps you should let the man do his own impression?
  1886. CAT: If he wants.
  1887. ?UC: Hah, fine.
  1888. CAC: Go for it
  1889. CAT: "May I enter?"
  1890. CUC: (Yeah, continue. Just figured I should have Crystal interject.)
  1891. CUC: (Not taking over.)
  1892. CAC: Erm
  1893. CAT: Ah.
  1894. CUC: (Gotta Terrariadop.)
  1895. CAC: "Sure"
  1896. CAT: Okay, I enter, and examine the room.
  1897. CAC: It's a living room.
  1898. CAC: There's a TV and a couch
  1899. CAT: Any cult stuff?
  1900. CAC: Not in the open
  1901. CAT: "You know, I heard there was a headless body for the fortunate to dissect on Tuesday in the tunnels."
  1902. CAC: Crystal turns to you "What?"
  1903. CAT: "For the ritual."
  1904. CAT: "Surely you recall."
  1905. CAC: "Oh, right, right. I'll be there, what time?"
  1906. CAT: "Three in the morning. We have a new arrivee, as well."
  1907. CAT: "Got to carve their Mark in."
  1908. CAC: "Always so early... Ooh, who is it?"
  1909. CAT: "That Hills fellow. Bomber, I believe it was."
  1910. CAC: "Huh, wouldn't have thought him the type..."
  1911. CAT: "You'd be surprised by the amount of occultists in this place."
  1912. CAT: "Well, probably not. But still."
  1913. CAC: "Sure, sure, just didn't expect so many to be so... Invested"
  1914. CAT: "I should probably inform you that there is both a newly-wrought vacancy in the house of Mister Generic, as well as a legal problem by the local dealer."
  1915. CAC: "There's a ton of dabblers, yeah"
  1916. CAT: I nod in agreement.
  1917. CAC: "Well done. Not that you had anything to do with that, of course"
  1918. CAT: "Hah."
  1919. CAT: "On another note, I may or may not be involved with a corpse-dealing gang with Split."
  1920. CAT: "Depends on his return call."
  1921. CAC: "Twin? Is it really a good idea to confide in someone with two personalities?"
  1922. ?GG: AC any hınts on chaos
  1923. CAT: "He doesn't quite have the sight of the full picture we do. Just enough to draw him in."
  1924. CAC: ?
  1925. ?GG: ı'm not gonna help
  1926. ?GG: but I just want hınt on chaos
  1927. ?GG: pls
  1928. CAT: "He's a valuable asset."
  1929. CAC: what do you mean hint
  1930. ?GG: hıs atl
  1931. ?GG: *atk
  1932. CAC: ATK: Lots and lots.
  1933. CAC: PROBABLY.
  1934. CAC: "Well, we'll see, I trust you know what you're doing"
  1935. ?GG: ...
  1936. ?GG: hıs attack?
  1937. ?GG: the one obscured
  1938. CAT: "If not, we always have Plan B."
  1939. CAT: "Hah."
  1940. CAC: "Right..."
  1941. CAC: HINT: OCTober.
  1942. CAT: "Regardless, shall we inspect the ritual area for Tuesday?" I gesture toward the general direction of my house.
  1943. CAC: "We shall"
  1944. CAT: I grin.
  1945. CAC ceased responding to memo.
  1946. CAT: I just sort of walk over to my backyard.
  1947. CAC: Crystal follows
  1948. CAT: I knock on the tree in the yard thrice.
  1949. CAC: ...
  1950. CAT: Nothing happens.
  1951. CAT: "Looks good to me."
  1952. CAT: I check the time.
  1953. CAT: And date, for that matter.
  1954. CAC: It is 8:27 PM, April 2, 2016
  1955. CAT: I immediately pull out my tickets to the local Bernie Sanders rally.
  1956. CAT: /s.
  1957. CAT: In actuality, I bade goodbye to my accomplice, and reenter my house.
  1958. CAC: Hmm
  1959. CAC: Crystal leaves.
  1960. CAT: I check to see whether or not I have any 'Flirt' text options with Crystal.
  1961. CAC: You have no idea what that means but
  1962. CAC: It is relatively unlikely he would disapprove if you were to flirt.
  1963. CAT: Hah.
  1964. CAT: Well, time to check stats one last time, and exit the game.
  1965. CAT: There's not much else to do in Erelyequest 2016 for the day.
  1966. CFC: kek
  1967. CFC: was I mentioned at all?
  1968. CAT: Nope.
  1969. CFC: rip
  1970. CAC: 25/25 HP, 3 + 3 ATH, 9 INT, 4 + 1 SRD
  1971. CAT: Eh, I'll consider not killing/looting you.
  1972. CAC: I mean, it might be Erelye's adventure, but you can still play
  1973. CAT: Alright, exit game.
  1974. CAC: And hunt yourself down?
  1975. CFC: 
  1976. CAT: I'll look for Toast tomorrow.
  1977. CAT: Hopefully.
  1978. CAC: Save >Save and Exit< Exit Without Saving
  1979. CAC: Game saved.
  1980. CAC: Byebye
  1981. CAT: Wonderful session, I must say. Wonderful session.
  1982. CAC: As Erelye slowly took over the game over four hours.
  1983. CAT: Hah.
  1984. CAT: What can I say. I'm unemployed.
  1985. CUC: /Back.
  1986. CAT: I don't have any of these other sessions to stop me from doing this like everyone else.
  1987. CFC: wb
  1988. ?GG: crys
  1989. ?GG: should I get multıdash
  1990. CAC: Generic, you've been here the whole game right
  1991. CAC: Take a log for me pls
  1992. ?GG: ugh
  1993. ?GG: fıne?
  1994. CAC: I'll ask for it tmrw morning
  1995. CAC: Thanks
  1996. CAC: I'm on mobile
  1997. CFC: I was here for most of it.
  1998. CFC: I think.
  1999. CAT: I was here for the part where I took over the game.
  2000. CFC: actually now that I think about it I missed the first part
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