Thread 108: Story 1-15

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OOCO
>Spike
‘Chrysalis’

Chrysalis drifted along the sea of consciousness. Sometimes floating up for air…

>..c’mon, now. Stay with me!

Sometimes slipping below it’s waves.

>…think of AJ spike, think of AJ and Rarity and twilight and shiny and all the others…

Something was in her mouth. Addictively sweet, like the nectar of the gods.

>…don’t do this to me! Not now! Not after all…

Sweet….but not nourishing. Not enough. Like candy or a soda rather than milk and bread.

His voice sounded farther and farther away as she began to fall…

(Spike of Scales?)

***
Cold. She felt uncomfortably cold, and oddly wet. Why did she feel-
<Splash>

‘AH!’

Her eyes snapped open as she jolted awake whipping her head around for the bastard with a bucket who had the audacity to hit-

<Drip>

Another drop of water hit her in the forehead.

In retrospect she had been more ‘lightly dripped on’ than ‘splashed in the face with water.

She groaned and began to take her surroundings in a bit more calmly.

>Oh good. You’re awake.

‘Spike?’

>No, the tooth fairy.

His tone was much less friendly all of a sudden.

She turned to look at him.

‘You look…grey…’

>Yeah well, I shoved all the love I could down your throat after you collapsed before the morlocks found us. We’re in their village by the way. Took a fair amount out of me. Only just came to a little bit ago myself.

‘Ugh…alright then’

With an effort she rose to her feet. Feeling better, but not truly replenished.

‘So…they have a way to the surface right? Sent the message yet?’

>Of course I sent the message! Why wouldn’t I have done that yet!?

‘Ok, ok geeze…what crawled up your ass?’

>Come. I’ll show you.

He led her out of the makeshift tent they had been in and into the main part of the morlock village. As she emerged dozens of morlocks turned their heads to watch her all curious as to her every move. Yet still, they kept their distance.

>They respect you as 32’s queen.

(Spike of Scales. Bitchqueen of Universe.)

‘HEY!’

>Rekulk. We’re heading to the memorial.

(Ah. Rekulk shall follow?)

>Do as you please.
He led them straight through the small village to the outskirts. There a semicircle of earthen mounds encircled a pole with a banner hanging from it. 77’s banner.

>Apparently, 32 was busy during his time down here and 77 couldn’t be arsed to ask before sending us into a deadly hell hole.

The queen lowered her head slightly her mane tumbling over her face.

‘So this is where they wound up.’

>yup.

‘…’

>…

‘….’
>Nothing to say?

‘…’

>I mean. I’m not sure what I was expecting but just…nothing? Really? They died for y-

‘What could I possibly say?’

>I don’t know. A eulogy? A word of thanks? Ask for forgiveness?

‘And would that bring them back?’

>No. But, it’d at least show signs of remorse. If you’re even capable of it.

‘YOU THINK I DON’T REGRET THIS!?’

In that moment, she jerked her head up and for the first time, Spike saw something he had thought her incapable of.

Anguish.

It stunned him to silence.

>…

‘…’

(…)

‘Dig them up.’

>…What?

‘Dig. Them. Up.’

>Why? Do you just have a desperate need to desecrate their remains on topping of getting them killed? The hell is wrong with you?

‘ME!? What’s wrong with you!? What’s wrong with 32!? This is NOT Changeling!’

>…what?

‘Changelings don’t leave a trace! We are burned to protect the secret of our existence! THAT is how you honor our dead! This…this is a mockery to all they were…’

>Times are changing. Changeling don’t have to hide anymore.

‘Times aren’t changing for them! Help me dig them up…p-ple….puh-lee…’

>Alright! Fine. Just…stop that. Watching you try to sound that out is horrifying. …Rekulk? Lend a hoof?

(As the bitchqueen wishes.)

Even with a creature who could move through rock like it was soft cheese it took a few minutes to uncover the remains and bring them to a pile in the center beneath the banner, but soon it was done.

>Now what.

‘Grab the banner. We came down here for it, we aren’t leaving without it. You can pack it in your flamey-whatever right?’

He nodded and in a puff of green the banner disappeared.

‘Now. Burn the bodies.’


The dragon nodded, and breathed.

The emerald flames settled on the corpses and did their work quickly, the desiccated flesh catching like any other dried fuel. Before long, nothing remained but a pile of ash.

(Excuse me. Rekulk has much trading to plan.)

The morlock left back toward the village leaving the pair alone again.

‘Thank you.’

>Whatever.

‘…back to this huh?’

>back to what?

‘…fine. Whatever. Screw you too.’

>No.

‘…’

>…

‘…that’s it? Just no? No pithy comeback of any kind?’

>Yeah. That’s it.

They stared at each other a moment.

‘So….when’s that message gonna reach them ya’ think? Been a bit since you sent it. And you said the response should be relatively instant once it comes.’

>It arrived before you woke up.

‘…what.’

>I didn’t want you to just strap on the vest and blast out of here without seeing this. I felt they deserved that much.

He gestured to the empty graves.

‘…Wow. Just…just wow. You’re a real piece of work y’know that? …Screw it, I just want to go home. Give me the damn vest or token or whatever else and let’s get the hell out of here.’

He spat flame once more and the vest appeared. The queen strapped it on and in moments was back to her old self.

‘Come on.’

The flames of her magic danced around them both, and they were gone.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>AJ
"SA"
'Celestia'
~~~

>...Is there a particular reason y'all are rubbin each other's rears like ya' are scratchin' off for the lottery?

"...Wait, do we have a lottery?"

'Shut up and rub!'

>What ya' do on yer' own time is yer' business, but not in mah' dang bathroom!

"We're researching!"

>Don't you give me that Twience crap, Ah've heard enough crazy from her ta' make mah' granny think Ah' need ta' start prayin; and Ah' don't even know what that means!

'It's true! How do Cutie Marks work!?'

>They... wait, you don't know?

'No? Why would you think that?'

>Don't you like... give them?

'What!? No! That's stupid!'

"Come on, Applejack."

>...Fair enough. But what do ya' mean?

"We mean, like... how deep does this go?"

>...Ah'... Ah'm not so sure Ah' wanna help ya' find out that, Ah' feel like granny would say Ah' need ta' clean out mah' ears just fer' thinkin' it.

'So then, you'll help?'

>...fine.

"Grab an ass and start rubbing!"

>...One way ta' spend the weekend, Ah' spose.

'EEP!'

>Ya' got enough for both of us, stop whinin'.

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>Sunset
"29"
~~~

>Hrmph.

"Hrmph!"

>Stupid Chitania.

"Blasted wench upon mine soul! To think she brings such woe to those dear Mayor Mare seeks to protect so greatly!"

>...

"What?"

>Tis truth, the pain that she brings. To the head, to the heart, like a church bell it rings.

"Ah, but the sound is most foul! Thou can find no sanctuary within the land this sound rings our from. We can find no comfort, nor joy to the heart that the spirit may fill in the walls of prayer."

>More to the judge, is it not? A being beyond most high who can decide fates on a whim, and none may do any but look up to them and plead. Shall they be heard? Shall the words reach ears that will not hear? That is for fate to decide.

"Fate, the strings connecting the puppets to the sky. Moved by forced that seek us for entertainment, not our own joy. We are forever denied what we seek."

>For, if we were to grasp our goals, the story would end, and the puppeteer's hoof strayed in disinterest.

"Woe! Tis the lifeblood of comedy, woe!"

>Truth, in thine words. Truth, as low to the ground as the beasts of the earth. Natural... yet beneath most.

"..."

>...

"...Have we never talked?"

>I feel like we talked at some point.

"Huh. Thine literary words are rather impressive."

>You're pretty well spoken for a changeling.

"Needlessly racist, yet the comment I shall hold! Tis the worlds of Marelto's poetry that fill mine mind... thirteenth translation, of course."

>Of course. Anyone who goes for tenth or lower is plebeian to the core.

"Tis truth!"

>...

"..."

>Huh. You want to talk about sixteenth year art?"

"Do I!?"

>...so this is that friendship thing.

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
{Gummy}
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I could use a snack! Now for our main segment...Pinkie's Dreamhouse!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>and IIIII'm with Gummy!

{Hello.}

>As my spirit guide, what can of guidance are you going to give me tonight?

{I was mainly just trying to guide you home, but I can't help but notice your gingerbread house. Is it alright if I had a taste?}

>Oh go for it! Mi casa es su casa.
Looks to viewers.
>That means my house is your house.

"A Tapir!"

>...What?

"You kept calling him an alligator, but he looks like a Tapir with tusks. Why do you call him Gummy?"

>...because he has no teeth.

"I thought tusks were teeth."

'Tusks ARE teeth.'

"Then what's the point of calling him Gummy when he has teeth?"

>But he's clearly an alligator with no teeth.

"...are we looking at the same thing because he looks a lot like a Tapir with blue tusks."

{My tusks aren't blue.}

>"'...'"

{...Hmm I was hoping we could have kept this easy.}

A claw arm extends from DT's backpack and pins Gummy down.
'Who are you really?'
He bites and breaks off the arm. He then inhales sucking up DT's backpack and eats it.
'Hey!'

{Tasty.}
Cadence pulls out her swordwhip and extends it to stab him. The blade goes directly into his mouth and he slurps it up like it was a noodle.
{Delicious...keep them coming.}

"My pretty sword!"
Pinkie goes in for a left hook, but stops short when he turns to try and bite her hoof off. She delivers a side kick into Gummy and slides back.

>Answer the question! If you're not Gummy then who are you?

Gummy skin melts away and a large Tapir takes his place.
{Oh well, I suppose the jig is up...}
He licks his lips and smirks.
{I'm just your friendly neighborhood dream eater.}

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OOCO
>Luna
"Celestia"
'SA'
~~~~

>...

"Lulu! Well hello there!"

>...

"You're probably wondering what we're doing. Wellll, Applejack has started laying tripwires everywhere, and Shiny took too many to the knees."

'Pretty painful.'

"So, since my bathroom is still unavailable-"

'Natural causes.'

"And Shiny's is still unusable-"

'Unavoidable accident.'

"-we thought we'd use yours! You don't mind, do you?"

'Bring the sisterly love.'

>...

"Luna?"

'She looks off.'

"Little off, yes... Lulu? Come on, be a good sister."

>...

"Luna-"

>THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FOREVERRRRRRRR!

"You always do this!"

>RARRRGGGHHH!

"I'm telling mom!"

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>AJ
"Chitania"
'Dash'
~~~~

>Ya' know, ponies are gonna start thinkin' we're a couple iffin' ya' keep hangin' around me.

"What, afraid I'll scare off your suitors when they realize they can't compete?"

>...Ya' actually might.

CRASH!

'APPLEJACK! I need you to set someone on fire!'

>...

"I am suddenly interested in a ponies problems. Maybe this relationship can work out after all."

'Wha-'

>What in tarnation are ya' talking about!?

'She's driving me crazy, Applejack! Crazy!'

"The pink one annoys me too, I understand. I'll do this for you, for the both of us."

>She don't mean Pinkie!... Do ya'?

'No!'

>See?

"That's alright, most of them annoy me. Who do you want me to set on fire?"

>Ya' ain't burning nobody!

'Maybe just a little?'

>DASH!

'I'm going to go insane, Applejack! If this keeps up, I'll set MYSELF on fire!'

"Well, there goes any motivation to actually put a stop to this."

>Ya' got problems, ya' know that?

"Sounds to me like she's the one with the issues."

'I DO!'

"Point proven."

'Fine, if you won't help me, I"LL DO IT MYSELF! IT'S OONNNNNN'

ZOOOM

"...So who the fuck was she talking about?"

>Ah' have no idea.

"Are you worried?"

>...Nope.

"See? We're making a real connection, you and me."

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 >32
"Actarius"
'88'
~~

>It's not going to work.

"What is?"

'Shhh! He'll catch on eventually...'

>He really won't.

"Won't what?"

'Nobody is this thick!'

"But I work out..."

>He is pretty thick.

"See? He knows."

'I'm positive he's going to catch on any second now.'

"To what!?"

>He's never going to catch on.

'He will!'

"I will what!?"

'...'

>...

"Fine, be like that. Did you get a good look yet? Blind-pony-seeing is cool and all, but my fur's getting messed up from all the rubbing."

'...Sigh. Yes, thank you very much.'

"Anytime!"

>Told you so.

"Okay, are you calling me ugly? Because that's... kinda hurtful. Look, I know I'm not a super good looking stallion or anything, but you didn't have to 'see' all over my rear for so long like you got it mixed up for my face. I'm not that ugly!"

'No no, I appreciate it. And no, you're not ugly. You look fine'

"You sure? You saw pretty much all of me with the feely thing."

'Just had to be thorough.'

"Oh, okay... sooo-"

'So you are very, very thick.'

"Thanks!"

>...

'...'

"What? I said I work out."

'...How.'

>At this point, I can't be sure he's not just doing it to mess with us.

"What? No, I do it to stay healthy. Used to be a guard you know!"

>...

'...'

"What?"

'Sigh.'

>Tell me about it.

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>Sunset
"29"
~~

>Pffft, Mareistocral? A great mind? You're talking out your ass.

"Tis true! His words may have been a touch overwrought on an occasion or two, but on the whole they were clearly thought out."

>If you think the long poetry of overblown windbags that want to fuck their mothers 'thought out', sure.

"That is rather harsh considering you like Neighto."

>Hey! Just because he wrote ONE book that was six hundred pages to describe a single sunny afternoon doesn't mean...

"..."

>...Fine. Notice you didn't say anything about the other part, though.

"Hm. I relate to that."

>...

"..."

>...

"...Because his mother was royalty."

>And?

"...Have thou really not heard of me?"

>What, is trying to have sex with any royal, regardless of age, relation to you or gender, your thing or something?

"...So that's a no."

>Meh, don't know why you would if that were the case, royalty is overrated.

"...Thine tongue, tis poison..."

>What? It's true.

"And I suppose your own favors are superior?"

>Well, obviously.

"Oh yeah? Speak of it, then."

>...

"..."

>...Do you know what a human is?

"No, but... I'm intrigued..."

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>Chrysalis
"SA"
'Celestia'
~???~
~~~

>So, just to double check, this is pretty much the dumbest thing we've ever done, right?

"Right."

'Top three, minimum.'

>And we absolutely cannot let anyone know we did it, right?

"I'd say no."

'In the interest of not starting a war, no. I'd say keep it hidden.'

>...But it was totally awesome, wasn't it?

"Yes."

'That it was.'

~~~

~EXTRA EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! PRINCESS APPLEJACK CATAPULTED INTO FOUNTAIN BY CHAIR MALFUNCTION! READ ALL ABOUT IT!~

>...We might have to leave the country.

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>AJ
~~~

>Ya'll do realize this means war...

CHU-CLICK!

>...What? Did ya' think Ah' meant a prank war or somethin'? THEY SHOT ME OUTTA THE ROOM!

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OOCO
>Spike
‘Chrysalis’
“Twilight”
(Shiny)
{77}
-Celly-
+AJ+
[Caddy]


In a wave of fire they reappeared in the bathroom they had left from finding it occupied by a number of concerned ponies.

(There you two are! Finally! We were getting worried.)

Spike grunted and burped up the banner balling it up and chucking it at 77.

>There’s your damn flag.

His tone was bitter and angry and the queen’s eyes narrowed at hearing it.

{…thanks?}

He began stomping toward the door only to be blocked by Shining Armor

(Whoa there buddy! How about telling us what happened down there?)

>We nearly got killed several times only to discover the flag was with the morlocks. We got the flag. We came back. Happy? Now out of the way.

(Huh. So that’s the result…)

>…OF COURSE THAT’S THE RESULT! WE WON! WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING DUMBASS!? CHURNED BUTTER!?

The stallion’s mouth flapped mutely, not quite able to process the unwarranted out burst.

-SPIKE! What has gotten into you!?-

>I’m having a bad day and I just want to go home and rest alright!?

-That does not justify that kind of language mister!-

“…well this plan went south…”

If he hadn’t been standing so close, the dragon may have missed that comment, so quiet was the muttering. Unfortunately, he was right there.

>…What do you mean by plan?

“Uhhh……”

>THIS WAS A PLAN!? TO DO WHAT!?

“…Get you and Chrysalis to be nicer? To each other?”

-Oh dear his eye just went-

(So conversation is over right? We can run and not answer questions?)

>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUC-HEY WHAT ARE YOU-

Before he could begin whatever rant he was about to explode forth with he was pulled up into the air by green magic and brought upside down to eye level with the queen.

‘Quiet! And hold still. There’s something wrong with you…’

>LIKE HE-

She grabbed his maw to hold it shut and narrowed her eyes as she looked more closely. The her eyes widened.

‘Shiny. There will be questions later. You will answer. For now, get Cadence, and haul her to Applebutt’s office.’

(Why-)

‘NOW DAMMIT!’

Green flames wreathed them once more, and they disappeared.

***
In a ball of fire they appeared dead center of the office where the mare was working away.

+What in the-oof!+

AJ winced as the wind was knocked out of her via dragon projectile.

+L-loverboy?+

>ow…what the hell Chrysalis!?

‘YOU! Applepony! Hug the dragon!’

+…Whyyyyyy?+

‘Oh for love’s sake. LOOK! We almost got killed and there’s something wrong with him, I think I know what it is but you already nearly lost him forever today and if you don’t hug him really really tight nowishly, you still might so HUG. THAT. DRAGON.’

>Oh that’s just ridic-glk!

He was cut off by a bone crushing embrace from the suddenly quite worried farm mare.

>Can’t…breath…

‘You’re fine. Now hold on, while I get Caddy since Shiny’s taking his sweet time.’

At that moment, the door burst open and the pair in question entered.

[I’m here! I’m here!]

Speak of the love-horse, and she shall appear.

[What’s going on?]

‘Check his sparklejoules.’

The pink pony’s brows knit in question.

‘GAH! Look, he drained himself keeping me alive, he’s turned into a total ass, his love levels look low to me but this is your field so just SCAN HIM ALREADY!’

[Oh! Alright then.]

She turned to the dragon currently trying to squirm out of the Apple mare’s grip and blue magic played over him a moment.

Her eyes widened.

[AJ…Let him go and step away a moment…]

+Why?+

[Please just trust me.]

+…Alright..+

She released him and backed away a bit as he fell to his knees gasping for sweet sweet air.

[Shiny? Bubble her.]

+What!?+

<BWOOP>

+HEY!+

(Why’d I do that)

[Just hold here there until I say ok? Hey Spike?]

>…ugh..what?

<ZAP!>

A bolt of bright blue magic hit him straight in the chest knocking him on the ass.

>ARGHHHHHH! WHAT THE-OW! DAMN IT OW! WHAT WAS THAT!?

+SPIKE!+
Applejack began slamming against the containment bubble with all her might, trying to get to him. Untrained magic beginning to gather causing cracks to form.

[Hold her a little longer, please?]

The stallion’s horn was lit as he did his best to reinforce the bubble

(Gah! Trying…)

>ARGHHHH

[Spike? Spike can you hear me? I need you to settle down. You’ll be fine.]

>W-what did you do!?

[Emergency love transfusion. It…can sting sometimes.]

>Damn…just…ow…

<CRASH>

The bubble finally shattered as the mare rushed to the dragon’s side.

+Spike, stay behind me. Now what in the heck is going on!?+

‘We’re trying to prevent him from turning into a sociopath or worse. Look, he’s doing better already, color’s coming back’

Sure enough, the previously washed out looking dragon’s colors were returning to their previously vibrant hues of lavender and emerald.

[Applejack, I’ll be happy to explain in more detail but from what shiny told me on the way here and Chrysalis said just now, the short version is: Chrysalis and spike went down into the caves to get something, apparently he got critically drained of love; not by Chrysalis, she isn’t this sloppy; and I needed to intervene to prevent permanent damage. He’ll be fine now, so long as he spends a few weeks with friends and family to help his own stores regenerate.]

+o-Oh…Well…why didn’t ya’ll say so?’

>…but I’ve got…stuff to do.

‘He said. Flat on his back on the floor. Unable to stand.’

>S-screw you.

‘HAH! You’ couldn’t afford me!

>You sure? I’ve got 2 bits right here…t-that’s double the going rate isn’t it?

A ghost of a smile played at the queen’s lips.

‘Hmph. Shiny? I’ll be calling in that favor soon. You have some explaining to do.’

(Heheh…)

‘Caddy? I’m tired and I want to head back to the empire. You coming?’

[Applejack, do you want me to stay and explain a bit more?]

+…Is he gonna be ok?+

[He’ll be fine]

+You’re sure?+

[Positive. Just keep him nearby for a while. It’ll be easier for him to recover around ponies he loves.]

+…Well…alright then…+

[Alright. Let’s go.]

In a burst of flame they were gone leaving the mare alone with the drake.

She turned to face him.

+Well sugarcube? How ya’ feelin’?+

>Like I got hit by a bus. With both axels. And then it backed up and did it again. Twice.

She winced.

>…I could use a nap.

+Well then, let’s go take one.+

She dashed off a quick note to Celestia and returned to the prone drake.

+Gotta be honest sugarcube, this was not how I expected ya’ll to come off ‘yer sabbatical.+

>Off? I’m no-

+YES. Ya’ll are. Ya’ll don’t get to argue after nearly getting’ yerself killed when I wasn’t lookin’+

>AJ-

+NO. ARGUIN.+

>…yes ma’am.

+Good boy. Now come on.+

She nodded and picked him up with her magic and began trotting for her chamber.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Fluttershy
"7"
'Buttercup'
~~~

>How is she doing?

It was hard to keep the look off his face. Normally, for a changeling, such an act was trivial. But he dared to admit that this whole ordeal had been quite the drain on him, both physically, and quite emotionally.

"The same. She clearly feels love in some capacity, but..."

'It not enough.'

She sounded more disgusted at herself, or perhaps reality in general, than either of them, no matter how deeply she attempted to bury it beneath a gruff rumbling exterior.

>Maybe you should bring in some help for this?

A dismissive wave, just a bit more harsh than he intended, warded that off.

"There is nobody to help. This is a completely unheard of field, any we sought out would be as blank as I am in this."

>But maybe at least it would take the load off, before you...

Collapsed, she didn't need to say. His draining had taken it's toll yet again, and he found himself barely able to stand up at this rate, looking years older than he had just that morning.

"This is my experiment."

'Maybe she right...'

The manticore, as powerful and massive as she was, still flinched when his gaze landed on her.

"I can handle this."

'...okay.'

>But maybe-

'If him say he handle it, him handle it!'

A bit of a feral roar had crept into her shout, for as little good as it did in culling the inquisitive pony walking closer. None there were under any delusion that anything, anything at all, could threaten the chaos being, no matter how powerful they seemed.

'...Him handle it.'

She sat back down, ready to begin the experiment again. He wasted no time befoer placing his hooves on her head, and continuing.

'Him can do it, him smart.'

Belief, as empty as it was, meant a lot to some.

>Alright. If you insist.

To others, it meant everything.

"...I can do this..."

Experiment number three thousand, six hundred and seventy eight, began.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>SA
"Celestia"
'??
~~~

>...

"What do you thiiiink?"

>I think when Applejack finds out you bought a giant swimming pool and put it next to your room, she's going to blow her hat off her head.

"Be the only head blowing off around her."

>WHOAAAAA!

"I don't regret it."

>So, though I might regret asking this, what's the point?

"So we can do Happy Bath Time without having to bother anyone in the bath, silly!"

>A part of me knew this. So... after you?

"Oh, such a gentlecolt... WHEE!"

SPLASH!

>WOOO!

SPLASH!

>"THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT!"

~~~~ten minutes later~~~~

>...

"..."

>...You bored of it?

"Yes."

>Wanna go back to breaking into Applejack's bathroom?"

"..."

~~~~

'FER FUCKS SAKE! IN MAH TUB AGAIN!?'

"NO REGRETS!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC

OOCO
>Chrysalis
‘Spike’

Some days had passed since Spike and Chrysalis had emerged from the caves. At present Spike had slipped away from his current minder for a moment to take the air on a nearby balcony. It’s not that he disliked being around his loved ones, but 24/7 could be a little….suffocating. He simply needed some air.

>Well, well…look who the cat dragged in.

Apparently the queen had also desired a quiet moment alone on this particular bit of real estate.

‘Queen Chrysalis’

>Spike the Dragon

‘…So! How are you this fine day?’

>I am well. And you?

‘I am well also.’

>Good…good…

‘…’

>…

‘This feels weird.’

>RIGHT!? SOooooo much easier to just insult your manhood or something.

‘Do you want to go back to that? I feel we should go back to that. I’ll miss mocking your promiscuity.’

>Stop making up words! And do you think we can? After all that?

‘First of all, you can’t possibly expect me to believe you don’t know that one. Second, I don’t know! But we can’t possibly go on like this!’

>I hate to admit it but when you’re right you’re right. This ‘civil’ thing makes me want to gouge my eyes out. And I need those! To see!

‘Pretty sure everyone does.’

>My eyes? Why?

‘I won’t justify that with a response.’

>He said. Responding.

‘WAIT A SECOND! I’ve got it.’

>Oh, this should be good.

‘We can keep score.’

>Score? Of what?

‘Saving each other’s lives.’

>Well clearly I’m winning that.

‘…how d’you figure?’

>A-Doi! 1. Saved you from the cave in you caused. 2. Saved you from being eaten by the monster. 3. Saved you from the love drain.

‘That first one should only count as a partial because you had a hoof in causing it too! And that third one wouldn’t have KILLED me.’

>No…just drastically altered your personality most likely causing you to need to be executed after going on a murder spree.

‘Well that’s presumptuous. You can’t just decide stuff like that based on a future which may or may not happen.’

>Fine! What do you think the score is then?

‘I’m in the lead. Obviously.’

>BULLSHIT!

‘Oh? You get only get partial points for endangering my life in the first place; but I did run interference on the monster, which is one to me. You saved me from being eaten, one to you. Then I saved you from being love drained, two for me; and finally you prevented me from going insane,but that’s not life threatening so it doesn’t count. Total: 2 for me, 1.5 for you.’

>…You cannot be serious.

‘Fine…partial credit for the love thing too. We’ll call it a draw.’

>Like Hell! I’m winning!

‘No I am!’

>NO, me!

‘ME!’

>ME!

‘Y’know what? FINE! We’ll settle this next invasion! I’ve got your back!’

>HAH! I’ve got YOUR back you mean.

‘See you on the battlefield.’

>Where I can show off my full, unadulterated, not severely drained, Power.

‘…’

>Just sunk in?

‘No…no, just…heat of the moment and all…maybe we need a different new thing?’

>I dunno. The odds heavily favor me on this one.

‘But where’s the fun in that?’

>Hmm…you may have a point.

‘Look. We’ll think of something. Maybe do tea, I dunno. I probably need to sneak back before they notice I slipped out though so…later ok?’

>Sure, sure.

Just as he was about to leave he poked his head back around the door.

‘Hey. Just spitballing, but…how does revenge against the ponies who put this whole escapade together grab you?’

>Like a potentially terrible idea.

‘Soooooo…yes?’

>…I’ll sleep on it.

‘Alright, let me know…later!’

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
~~~

"NO! REGRE... what are you doing with that toaster?"

'...'

"APPLEJACK WAIT!"

BTZBTZBTZ!

'That's what ya' get ya' gaddang-'

Blup

"..."

'...S-Shinin' was down there?'

"That he was."

'...whoops.'

"Oh, you think that's bad?"

'Pretty bad, yeah.'

"Wait till everyone else hears about this."

'...'

*SEVERAL VERY KNOWING, ANGRY ROARS*

'...Gimme the gun.'

"Oh, Applejack... that won't help you now."

*STAMPEDE NOISES!*

'...Celly, Ah' have regrets.'

"True, but me?... Still no regrets."

*BOOM!*

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________