Snakeanon- Pie to the Ego

>Be Snakeanon
>You have been in the woods for about a week, waiting for the AiE Convoy to arrive
>A jet screams by overhead, must be airman
>you focus your attention back to the convoy
>The high pitched whine of a turbocharger passes by, R/T in his deuce
>Followed shortly by a T34, you can smell the vodka from your position
>A-HA!
>Sherms tank lumbers closer
>You wouldnt need anything heavy for this old tank, just your handy old panserfaust
>With a wicked smile on your face you jump out of the hole you dug
>It only takes a second for you to aim and fire
>the warhead streaks towards your target trailing whipped cr-
>what even is this?
>whipped cream trails through the air, as the pie fired from your panserfaust strikes Sherm in the face
>It seems to boil off, his features contorted into a terrible grimace
>ducking down into the tank, he levels the cannon at your chest
>you hear a deafening BOOM as you turn to run
>not a second later you hear a loud slap, you back feels as if you just did a backflop into a pool
>it doesnt take long for you to pass out from the pain
>you wake up just as the sun is lowered over the horizon
>reaching behind you, you can feel something sticky
>is this fucking Mayo?
>yeah brain, i think it is
>Dude, you need to find a better way to keep that bandanna guy out of the armory...