Lost in a Foreign World, Ch. 1 The Dark Beast.

"Lieutenant...lieutenant, wake up..." I heard as I painfully managed to open my eyes. I was greeted by the obscured face of Luxor. I could just barely see him then as he was lighted by the dim light of the cave...wait, a cave? I don't remember how I got there. Luxor had a bandage on his forehead, and looking down, I saw that I had one wrapped around my torso.
(Where is the bandage? Does he have a uniform on? Or is he naked? What is he lying on? A bed, a pallet, the ground?)

"What happened?" I said looking around.

"I'm not sure, I just woke up." He replied, as he looked to the entryway of the cave, then he frowned when he saw what seemed like a door...or something akin to it that blocked the way.

"I don't like this place." Luxor spoke then in aggrieved tones. "I feel rampant corruption in this place, but, it's different than what I've encountered before."

"What do you mean different? How different?" I demanded.

"It's,...hard to explain,...but there is some kind of...influence in this place." Luxor's face twisted momentarily when he said the word: Influence.

"Well, it could be worse, we are alive." He glared at me.
"This is serious lieutenant, we have no idea what brought us here, or what happened to the oth...". *CRACK* came a sound. He went quiet when he heard that cracking, something from the outside of the cave.

"I don't like that sound, it must be something big. Get up. Do you have something to fight back with?"

I jumped off the pallet I'd been lying on, and patted around my person checking efficiently, before saying "only my knife and three grenades, the rest of my stuff was on the scape pod...what about you?"

"Only my pistol..." he replied, his voice trailing.

"Well, shit". As the door opened, I crouched into a fighting stance with the knife in hand. Luxor aimed his pistol at the door, bracing his pistol with both arms crossed and extended.The door opened to reveal someone tall, this newcomer was almost completely covered in a big dark-brown ragged robe, with a pair of red eyes peering back at us in alarm.

It surprised me, when I saw that whoever it was, was strong enough to be carrying a wooden box with our things on one side, and one of our soldiers on its other side. When I looked at its face...well actually her face, I saw those same red eyes looking rather terrified, from seeing us in a fighting stance directed towards her.

All of my contemplation occurred in half second, because the next thing I know is that Luxor shouted "DROP HIM!!!" This caused her to fall backwards, dropping our man and the box, she began crawling backwards until her back hit the wall. She tried to say something I didn't catch, and it was then that I noticed that she had a pair of fangs hanging from her mouth. In that moment, I thought that her fangs were rather large and sharp-looking.

"I knew it, that thing is the source of the corruption!!!" Luxor said.

"Damn it, you su..." I started.

"No time to explain" He quickly said. She started to say something, but I couldn't figure what. She hurriedly pointed to the soldier on the ground and it was then, that I noticed the small pool of blood forming at one side of him.

"Shit! He's bleeding out, we must do something, now". I commanded.

Luxor's angry face turned into one of worry, as he considered his options. "Damn it" he muttered before looking around. Seeing us not attack her, she slowly crawled up to our wounded comrade, and then stood up to carry him to an improvised bed. While Luxor, looked in disbelief at her actions. Seemingly dumbfounded that she was saving him. She took the hood off of her head revealing the most beautiful face, Russ forgive me, that I'd ever seen.

"What...in bloody hell...are you?" Luxor said then, gazing at her beauty. She simply looked at him before turning and moving to one corner of the cave. Shortly, she returned with a little box with what I presumed were some sort of supplies.

It was at that moment she took off her whole robe, and tossed it aside to work better. The sight left my mouth hanging open, for her appearance was anything but human.
(Describe how she is anything but human).

"What the hell are you...?" Luxor asked more confused than angry. She simply turned her head in his direction, raised an eyebrow, an then returned to attend to our wounded soldier.

"Luxor...can we talk about this, outside?" I asked a little nervous. He muttered something between his teeth before nodding and heading outside, with me following behind.

As expected for the cave's inner walls. We were on a desert. A very large and hot desert.

"What?" He said annoyed.

"First, obviously neither you, nor I, trust in whatever that thing is...hell, but she saved us. My point is...we don't know where we are or in which age. Remember we were forcibly thrown out of the warp". I pointed out to him.

"What is your point?" He asked a bit annoyed

"If she wanted us dead she would have done so when we were unconscious."

"What do you mean...?"

"Maybe we should try and give her a chance...?" I asked.

"HAVE YOU GONE MAD!!!???" He boomed, looking at me with anger.

"She might be useful. Even help us to get out of this planet, give us directions...or how to find the others."

"I could devour her and gain her memories, it would be easier."

"No! Are you listening to me? Why don't you try to contact the others?"

"With the probability of calling unwanted company...? Thanks, but no thanks." he replied, shaking his head.

"Gaaaaah!! We aren't doing anything out here, at least can you do something so that she can understand us?"

"Mmmmm...I think I can do that".

Finally a positive answer. All of this bickering, was starting to get me tired.

"Ok, let's go inside" I said, satisfied with our conversation.

When we got in, we both saw that she was almost finished treating our fellow soldier. She turned to face us and smiled before finishing with some bandages. I glanced over to Luxor, who seemed annoyed. She said something that I couldn't figure out before Luxor stepped forward and said "yeah, yeah...whatever...". When he got close to her, she turned her attention to him, and took a step back till Luxor was face to face with her, she seemed afraid of him.

He raised a finger and placed it on her forehead, she closed her eyes and fell backwards, screaminG "Aaaaaaagh!!! Hey what was that for?! That really...wait, what am I saying? What did you...?" she said fluently. Luxor simply rolled his eyes before turning to me and doing the same to me.

"Owwwwww!!! that really hurts" I said, flinching with the pain.

"Well, now she can speak our language, and we can talk her language, happy...lieutenant?" he replied sourly.

"W-what are you?" She asked, confused.

"None of your concern, and you should start talking before I run out of patience...demon" he hissed at her.

"Are you a sorcerer? C-can you do magic?", she asked nervously. I had to suppress a laugh after hearing that.

"What did you say? Do I look like a fucking sorcerer!!??" Luxor demanded then, I could tell that he was upset, very upset.

"Well, you just used a spell on us, right?" Luxor simply took a deep breath and sighed...

"Well, at least can you tell us where our scape pod is?"

She tilted her head, "your,...What?"

"the thing where you found us" I said.

"Oh, well it was at half day's walk from here to the north east, but...there is one problem..."

"What?" I asked.

"Well, when I was last coming back here, I saw a patrol of the Order heading there. Maybe they saw your space pod, or whatever you call it, so I had to flee. The most likely probability is that they took it to the nearest town, afterwards they will transport it to the Capital".

"What? Is the Order?" Luxor demanded crisply, finally showing more interest.

"They," She began patiently as she could, folding her arms, "are the most important religion spread throughout our whole world. They venerate the Chief God as the Creator, and Savior of humanity. T-they are against monsters, those who are like...me". She explained.

I stood quiet for a moment to let her words sink in.

"So, we're also in another time and age, damn it" Luxor said, looking around before asking, "can you take us to the nearest town...?"

"They would kill me on the spot as soon as they see me!" she replied haltingly, obviously afraid of the idea.

"No, they won't." Luxor replied. "I won't let them, but only if we can trust you. Now, if I promised to protect you, would you be wiling to do that for us?" Luxor asked.

Her ears got flat on her head as she considered the idea. "I-I think I can do that, b-but why?"

"Don't rush me, I have my reasons, now you two should rest and get some sleep, you two look terrible, and by the way, what is your name?"

"Oh, ah, Akmella, a-and yours?"

"Luxor."

"Well Luxor, welcome to the desert region."

————————————————————

"So, how is he?" Luxor asked me after a few minutes.

"Pretty badly wounded, but I feel that he will survive" I said, referring to the soldier Akmella brought in and had tended to.

"And what about you? You seem well to have nigh on a broken rib..." he said then as a statement, not a question.

"Actually, I'm feeling quite well, you think she did something to me?"

"No, I can't feel anything wrong about you. Why?" he asked, suspiciously.

"No, nothing, just a little surprised to see how she healed me".

"Hmmm, is she sleeping?" He asked, looking over his shoulder in her direction.

"Yes". I replied quietly.

"Well, you should go to sleep too. I'll take first watch. Tomorrow we're leaving early, so rest while you can, and that's an order".

"Yes sir!" I said annoyed. But he was right, we didn't know what kind of things we would have to face, at least that could wait for tomorrow...

To be continued...
You did well Praxxy.
As you can see, I made a number of changes in spelling, punctuation, and grammar. I do have a few suggestions that you have the option of rejecting fully. They're only suggestions. After all, this is YOUR story. You need to tell it.

(Describe).
(Go back and edit, then DESCRIBE everything. Describe what the Lieutenant's Name is. It helps to remind the reader of who is talking. Let Luxor mention that name occasionally. Describe his sensations. Luxor thinks that the Lieutenant had a broken rib? How? Describe how he knows. Broken ribs are quite painful. You can feel it every time you breathe in and out. If it was healed, then describe the ache that would've been there, etc. I think you get the idea.)
(Describe their actions, their sensations, the taste and feel of the air. Describe the sound of their voices.
You don't need to write a novel to do this, but you probably should give a few more details.
Example:
As expected for the cave's inner walls. We were in a desert. A very large and hot desert.
     Try something different. Enhance the experience for the reader.
As expected by the lack of condensation on the inside of the cave's cool inner walls, I could tell that we were in a desert. When the door opened, I felt a blast of hot air wash over me. As it did, I could smell the scent of scorched earth invade my nostrils. This told me that this desert, was a very large and hot desert.)

You're off to a good Start Proxxy. Keep it up.