the_dodge Double Feature Pt. 1

"Low Self Image"

> Be an abuser
> You botched your last attempt at abuse
> Tried turning a fluffy into a dog but it failed miserably
> So it was back to the drawing board
> Head back down the shelter, where everybody knows your name
> "Oh hey there Anon!"
> "Shut up and sell me a foal"
> Transaction goes down, pay $3.50 for a little pink filly
> "Yaaay! Fwuffy wub nyu daddeh!"
> "Your name is Amy"
> "Fwuffy wub nyu name! *chirp* Dank yew daddeh, am Ameh!"
> "Shut up"

> Drive the little bundle of soot and AIDS home
> "Want some skettis?"
> "FWUFFY WUB SKETTIS! YOU DA BESTEST DADDEH!"
> "Shut the hell up, you fucking suck"
> Make a plate of spaghetti for the little pink filly
> Cook up the entire box and throw it on a gigantic plate
> Plop it down in front of the little, just weaned filly
> She nooshes down happily, enjoying her first ever plate of spaghetti
> Meanwhile you go up and prepare Amy's safe room
> She dosen't know it but these blocks and balls were used by hundreds of other foals
> All dead now of course
> Set up a litterbox in the corner of the room
> Set up dishes for food and water
> Throw down a big Miami Heat blanket for poopin' on
> In the center of the safe room, there's a huge, 5 foot tall mirror
> Go back to Amy, the gay little filly

> Look at her, her gut multiplied in size tenfold
> 1.21 Gigaguts
> Marinara sauce all over her stupid pink face
> "Fwuffy wub skettis daddeh! Can Ameh haf' sum mowe?"
> Abide, serve up some leftover spaghetti from a few days ago
> The little pink foal eats almost 10 times her own weight in pasta
> Legs can no longer touch the ground
> "Huuu... nu feew gewd daddeh.... gawt owwies in mah tummeh... *chirp*"
> "Better go lay down"
> Bring the fluff to the safe room, she sits down on your Miami Heat blanket
> Sprays nasty spaghetti turds all over Chris Bosh's creepy diunosaur face
> "Amy, poop goes in the litterbox"
> "Sowweh daddeh... Ameh nu feew gewd, can't move to da bawks"
> "I'll let it slide this time"

> The now gigantic filly dozes off into a diabetes induced coma
> Go to your room, fire up your PC
> Do Google image search for pink fillies
> Come up with one that looks almost exactly like Amy
> Open Photoshop, load up the pic
> Take a few inches off it's stomach, slim down the fluff
> Edit a pretty white ribbon on to its head
> Give it wings like Amy, but make them small and petite
> Looks like a goddamn show fluffy when your done
> Print that shit and leave it on your desk

> Couple days go by
> Still feeding Amy massive amounts of spaghetti
> She pounds it down gleefully even though she gets sick everytime
> Even though it's only been a few short days
> The fluff does no playing to speak of, has developed a massive gut
> The gut to end all guts
> One day she gets too sick from eating skettis, as is tradition
> "Ugghh... *chirp*... fwuffy nuh feew gewd daddeh... gon' way down..."
> "Okay, feel better Amy"
> "Huuu.... dank yew, daddeh.... huuuu"
> Fluff goes into safe room, takes massive dump before laying down
> Falls asleep almost immediately
> By now the fluffy has started looking at herself in the mirror
> The day before she was dancing in front of it
> "Wook at meeeh, daddeh! Ameh ish soo pweetty!!"
> Good
> Grab your picture of the photoshopped pink filly
> Staple it next to the mirror

> Few hours later, Amy wakes up
> "Whut is dat, daddeh?"
> "Oh, it's a pciture of a cute little fluffy I saw in a magazine..."
> "I figured I'd just leave it here, kinda reminds me of you"
> "Aww, dank yew daddeh, Ameh is da pwettiest!"
> Takes a few days before the fluff seems to register what the picture means
> Get home from work one day and see the fluff standing in front of the mirror
> She lays down and contorts herself in all different positions
> Mainly she tries hiding her gigantic gut from view
> See her looking from mirror to the picture, comparing herself
> "Huuu huu... why am Ameh nawt as pwetty as pictah fwuffy...."
> See her curl up on Chris Bosh and start crying
> Reminds you LeBron's career in Cleveland

> Next day you prepare her gigantic plate of spaghetti
> "Ameh nu' wan' skettis numowe daddeh..."
> "What do you want to eat, Amy?"
> "Fwuffy nu' wan' num anythin'... huuu huuu...."
> See her walk off to her safe room with her tail in between her legs
> Quietly follow her
> See Amy standing in front of the picture of the pretty pink filly
> "Why am Ameh nawt as pwetty as yew?"
> She curls up and cries before falling asleep
> Sneak into her room and leave giant plate of pasta by her food dish

> Get up early the next day before Amy starts stirring around
> Peer into her safe room
> See a bunch of spaghetti sauce on Amy's face
> But also see a bunch of saucy red vomit in her litterbox and on Chris Bosh
> Take the plate of partially eaten spaghetti and go downstairs
> Make a fresh batch and go put it back where the old spaghetti was
> Go to work before the fluff wakes up
> Come back way later in the day

> Get home, don't see Amy at the door waiting for you and spaghetti
> Walk to her safe room, see fluff staring at the spaghetti and crying
> "What's wrong, Amy?"
> "Ameh nuu feew gewd... Wan' be pwetty, buh' wan' eat da skettis..."
> "So? Eat the spaghetti"
> The now pink mare starts sobbing
> "Buh Ameh wan' nummies cuz' fwuffy nuh feew gewd..."
> "An' Ameh nu feew gewd cuz' Ameh nums..."
> See the confusion in her face
> "It's okay Amy, I just want you to be pretty"
> "huuu huuu... Ameh wan' be pwetty..."
> Set down a biog plate of spaghetti in her safe room and shes cries even harder
> Leave and smoke a fatty

> Some days go by, Amy dosen't even leave her safe room
> She just looks at herself in the mirror, and looks at the picture of the pink filly
> Every now and then she looks over at the pasta
> Can see the indecision in her face
> Eventually she just stops eating altogether
> Before she would eat a little and puke it up
> Now her pasta goes untouched all day long
> Days go by and Amy gets thinner and thinner
> Start seeing bones jut out from under her pink fluff
> One day you're cleaning her litterbox and see red vomit in it
> Check her pasta, untouched
> Her body must be failing her from starving herself
> Very nice

> Sometime goes by and the pink fluffy's breathing becomes very labored
> She can't even get up to look at herself in the mirror
> Just lays on Chris Bosh and stares up at the pretty pink filly
> You walk in and kneel down near the fluffy
> "Huuu.... daddeh.... Ameh nu' feew gewd..."
> You pet her, "Sorry to hear that, Amy"
> "Daddeh.... am fwuffy pwetty? Pwettiest den' da pink babbeh pictuh?"
> Stand up
> "No, Amy, you're disgusting, I've never seen a uglier fluffy than you"
> Get up and leave the safe room
> Shut the door, hear muffled crying
> She's dead the next day

> Be an abuser
> Go and buy another foal