Thread 59: Stories 31-45

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 >Applejack
"Twilight"
'Pinkie'
[Dash]
{Fluttershy}
(Rarity)
^Spike^
~~~~

>So... how're we supposed to deal with this? She brings up a good point, iffin Shiny has a sudden heart attack or something-

"NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE-"

>-NOT SAYIN HE'S GONNA... IF he has a heart attack, WHICH WE AIN'T GOT ANY INDICATION HE WILL... then how're we gonna feed them changelings in the ballroom?

[That's your area, Twi.]

'Isn't it technically AJ's? She's supposed to be the head of that whole thing.'

(She is? Since when?)

'She let them in, silly!'

{So? She hasn't done anything with them.}

[Yeah, when's the last time she actually looked inside that room, even.]

(I'm also fairly certain a large number of them leave frequently.)

{It's not even like she's telling anyone in Canterlot not to be dicks to them.}

[And also...Uh, AJ? You okay?]

*WHUMP!*

[{(...)}]

^WHAT DID YOU DO!?^

'Awwww, done head desk, AJ! It's not that bad!'

"Yeah! It's not like I'm trying to get them jobs or help them out either. Heck, I don't even keep tabs on them!... Or do anything non-medical related, even!"

'Yeah! We leave that up to... to...'

>"'[{(...)}]'"

[Huh.]

>...

*WHUMPWHUMPWHUMPWHUMP

"That looked like it hurt."

^You want a claw-rub?^

>....

^I'm gonna give you a claw rub.^

>thmurmrm...

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"DT"
~~~~
>Welcome top Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and I occasionally pay homage to Who's Line is it Anyway. Now for our main guest-

"DIAMOND TIARA!!!"
She burst in with an explosion and strikes a haughty pose. Flaming words that spell out Diamond Tiara can be seen overhead.

>FIRE! WE DON'T HAVE FIRE INSURANCE TO COVER THIS!
Quickly pulls out a fire extinguisher to put it out.

"Even if it is a low budget show, it's about time you finally made me a guest. I'm sure you want to know a lot of things about me, so ask away."
Pinkie puts out the last bit of fire out in a huff.

>...okay. Now that Siegfried and Pommel's meetings have happened, do you think you'll be able to get an official meeting with the-

"Of course I am! With the key help I provided during the cordyceps infection they better *censored* put me back on the A-team after this!"

>Oh hey, the censors do work. *censored* I didn't know we-

"I'm talking here! They *censored* need me now that the guards are-"

>AHAHAHA THAT'S THE SHOW! HAVE A GREAT NIGHT EVERYPONY! Wow it's weird to be on the other side of-

"But I'm not done yet. I need you to-"

>Nope we're done.
Pinkie boops DT on the nose to wake her up. Suddenly the audience starts screaming

>MORE FIRE!

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"You there, do this thing/mannerism/behaviour"

>Nah

"Excuse me? I am DIAMOND TIARA and you will listen to me"

>Don't care

"Do you know how big I am?"

>Nah, don't care, fuck off lady, tryna read here

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>Dadling
"Bat-mom"
'Nurse'
~~~~

>EVERYBODY MOVE! STAY BACK! I WILL TOTALLY USE THIS!

"Honey, don't you think you're being a little overprotective?"

>DON'T TEST ME!

'Sir, I just need you to sign to check out of the hospital.'

>I'M A CRAZYLING, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!

'Sir, they're just waiting in line to check out, just like you, they are not coming close to your baby.'

>TOO CLOSE!

'Please put down the toothbrush.'

>YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I CAN DO WITH THIS!

"He is pretty skilled with it."

'...'

"...What? He's got nice... teeth."

>NGGGHHH!

'...What's he going to be like when he reaches the street?'

>...get my gun.

"No."

>THEN I'LL MAKE DUE WITH THIS! NGH!

"...He's normally a lot... er, calmer."

'...I doubt that.'

>NNGGGGHHH!

"....You probably should..."

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>77
"88"
'??'
~~~

His hearing was never going to come back, 77 swore.

>Sister, believe me when I say to you that I speak this with nothing but kindness, this is just asinine.

"Shhhh!"

>...

"....YAHHHHHHHHH!"

>...

"...I could KIND of see it!"

>You could not.

"No really! It's like, I can't see it, but I could SEE that wall over there!"

>There is no wall over there, that's a hallway.

"....AHHHHHHHH!"

>...

"...I see something... right there!"

>That's a door.

"Progress!"

>It's the same door you just came out of!

"PROGRESS!"

>I-ugh...

"...OOHHHHH!"

>...

"I see a door!"

Before he could stop her, she tore off.

Right towards the window at the end of the hall.

>NO WAIT THAT'S-

His heart, already frozen from the mere thought of the glass carving her apart and the sudden, deathly drop, became nothing less than stone when instead of the shattering he heard a loud

CRACK

And his sister came to a sudden stop mere inches from the window.

Held in place by a much... much longer leg.

"Ow."

'That... was very stupid.'

Her head swung to the side, hooves shooting up to the one that gripped her and held her in place. It did not take much feeling before she put together the very small number of beings who had a hoof as big as this that was also full of holes.

Thankfully, she could further narrow it down by the fact this hoof did not feel like it lifted mountains for a living.

"Oh... Hello, Chrysalis."

The lack of proper title and respect normally would have worried her, but in light of the current disability, she found she wasn't terribly bothered.

'You should be more careful.'

"I'm training."

'If this is training, I need to inform 42 that her tests need to start including russian roulette.'

"...What the hell is that?"

'Nevermind. Be more careful.'

Without even giving her a chance to respond, Chrysalis started to move on.

"Have you talked to him yet?"

Only to freeze mid step.

"Thirty Two, I mean, have you talked to him yet?"

'...I have not.'

"What's taking so long?"

Her tone was almost impertinent, certainly at least a little insulting. But for all the worry it caused 77, it did not have quite the same effect on the Queen.

'I have been busy.'

"It's not going to take that long."

'This is a very delicate matter that needs my undivided attention, and as I have a lot of work to do I cannot afford to be distracted.'

"...I just want you to give him a chance to say he's sorry."

She tensed, eyes narrowing in on the smaller changeling like a hawk.

'And what about when he decides not to, and instead spits back that he will never obey me.'

"...He's... he's not that bad."

'He tried to kill me.'

Her whole body seemed to slump, chitin impossibly sagging despite it's lack of elasticity.

"...So are you just going to leave him down in there? Are you just going to leave him in a cave again?"

Even 77, stoic he normally was, flinched painfully at the words, watching as his Queen's eyes shrank for the briefest of moments in horror before returning to normal.

'I said I am working on it. I will confront him and give him a chance to plead forgiveness. That is all.'

"When?"

'...Soon.'

Her tone, more than anything, told her there would be no more answers given. It was only after a moment to collect herself that Chrysalis spoke again.

'What was with all of the screaming before, anyway?'

"...Just a dumb idea I had. There were these... flying things in the cave, and they could 'see' by screaming. I thought... it was stupid. I just want to see again some way."

A strange, almost whimsical glint appeared in her eye. Quickly, she stepped forwards towards the blind changeling, and with a quick dip of her head she touched her horn to the far smaller one.

77 could only watch in confusion as some strange light passed between them. Even though he could not see the directly, the way the cloth stretched told him his sister's eyes had gone wide.

"Isn't... is this..."

'Try not to over-use it.'

With that, she began walking away, already on a much quicker pace.

"M-... Chrysalis?"

'...'

"You'll give him a chance, right?"

She did not answer.

Just... walked away.

Only after she was long, long gone did 77 return to her side.

>She will give him a chance, sister. She is just trying... to find some other way. She does not want to leave him down there.

"Sure... sure..."

>...What did she show you anyway.

Eighty Eight, for the first time since her re-arrival into this world, smirked.

Just a tiny, tiny little turn of her cheek.

And as she took a deep, long breath, Seventy Seven knew fear.

"EEEEKEEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEK!"

He also knew what it was like to feel like your head was about to explode.

>AAHHHHHHWWHYYY!

"...so that's what the castle looks like..."

>WHAT!?

"...might not want to use that too often."

>WHAT!?

"...Probably going to anyway."

>WHAT!?

~~~~~

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"...Daddy? I need to make a phonecall."

'The devil is a phone?'

"JUST GIVE ME THE DANG PHONE!... Pennydrop? GIVE ME METAL DEER REX!"

'...'

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO!?"

>Oh garfield, you and your mondays.

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>32
"??"
~~~

>...Now this is just silly.

The golem balancing on the edge of the bottle huffed, as much as something that didn't breath could huff.

>Not to say it's not impressive, it is simply a bit silly, no? I'd advise trying adding juggling to the routine, but I fear that one fellow will kill himself if he ever hears of it.

"How macabre!... Though I admit I share thine views in worrying for his health, our contemporary is just as likely to end himself when he realizes he can stuff socks in the holes."

>I like to think he knows this, and relishes in the challenge.

"..."

>It's less depressing than the alternative.

"This, I cannot deny. Oh! But speaking unto the words less depressing, mine sources tell me other visitors besides myself have been to see thee in mine absence, joy!"

>Actually? Yes! I do not know if you've the chance to hear, brother, but dearest Pommel, he's alive!

"..."

>...

"...Who?"

>P-... Pommel. The pony I practically made into my protege.

"I have not the foggiest."

>...Oh, right, you didn't even know I was alive till well after that whole... that whole thing... well, yes! A friend I thought long dead lives again!

"Oh my! That's been happening to you quite a lot recently!"

>...By the hivemind it has... am.. am I dead? Did I secretly die!? Is this the afterlife and this is the best I can get!? Or am I just crazy!?

"You are not crazy."

>How can I believe you!? I MIGHT BE CRAZY! AM I CRAZY!?

*TINK!*

>...PHEW! Had me worried there for a moment. Happy coincidence!

"Hurtful."

>Ha ha! Well, you cannot blame me. My longtime friend returned from the dead, my sister thought drowned is alive again, and even you have been visiting me with greater frequency than normal. Surely I need something 'rock steady' to tell me of my sanity.

"Ignoring that pun. That last one is due to business, I am sad to say. Marey hath sent me on many a quest to have her promised guard stationed in Ponyville, but never do they arrive. I am beginning to worry."

>Oh, I'm sure it's nothing.

"You say that, but I haven't seen a prison guard since I arrived. Ever. It's been hours."

>...Huh... I have been noticing my food is delivered a lot less frequently and punctually...

"Well, at least you can count on one source of food to arrive."

Happily he took the offered box of whatever treats the changeling had smuggled in for him, noticing instantly that 'smuggled' was being very generous.

>They didn't even check you?

"They did not."

>Huh...

"While we are on the subject of feeding, do you need a boost?"

>Indeed, brother! Indeed I do, I was left feeling quite drained after dear Pommel and his new friend came to visit. I could use a touch.

"Very well."

Happily, he once more took the offered hoof, placing his over top of it and smiling giddishly as the magic flowed.

>OOOOoooooOOoooo... mmm, that is an extra sweet love.

"Truly do I think you only make those noises to irritate me."

>Do not be silly! If I wished to work up your poor addled mind, I would do this!

Without warning, he jutted his head forward, stuffing the tip of the hoof into his mouth while his now free hoof held it in place.

"GAH! UN-...uh-UNLIP ME! UGH! THIS IS ABHORRENT! RELEASE ME!"

But he did not, not until his love-stores were quite filled, and he let go with an absolutely impish grin.

>Oh my, what a feeling to have so much love just pouring down my throat-

"STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP!"

*TINKTINKTINKTINK!*

~CHITTERCHITTERCHITTER!~

"See!? Even they agree with me!"

He winced a bit as he watched Q drag her 'ears' on the ground, and Reggie ram his head repeatedly into the wall.

>...Perhaps that one did go a bit too far.

"YOU THINK!?"

>...Do I taste charred woodl? Did you burn yourself?

Trying to fight back the absolutely brilliant brush on his face, the other changeling pompously dusted himself off, giving a refined 'humph!' before turning away.

>Alright, I apologize.

"...I did not burn myself, I have merely been going through burning wreckage recently."

>...

"...Trixie accidentally burned my apartment down."

>HA HA!

"..."

>I apologize, do you want to bunk with me? You can have the bed.

"Hilarious. But I am residing with my dear friend Marey at present, so I do not need to-"

29 was given no time to react before the other changeling reached through the bars, grabbed hold of his head and yanked him right into his chest. Or rather, the bars in front of his chest.

>At last, AT LAST! He has decided his quest is best laid aside, and has moved on to greener pastures! Oh, the wonders you no doubt shall hold as you 'reside' with the mayor! Oh the things you must be doing, oh-

"I am merely sleeping there! If the option were present, mine head would lay upon a bed of royals, it's just not an option at present! But it will be!"

>...

"Soon, I will-"

CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG

The ringing, and the back and forth motion as his head was jerked into the metal, took a long time to come to an end.

"...Ow."

>Please tell me you at least fucked the zebra.

"..."

PRISSTOMP!

CRUNCH!

>OW! MY HOOF! OH SWEET HIVEMIND IT FEELS LIKE YOU BROKE IT!

"Her name is ZECORA! Cease calling her 'The Zebra!'"

>Ooowww...I am taking that as a yes and nothing will pull me from this fantasy wherein you stop being a thickheaded idiot for ONE NIGHT so do not even try!

"..."

>GOOD! Now... is there any other news I should be made aware of?

The other changeling rubbed his still sore head, casting an annoyed glance at his fellow ling.

"No... well, aside from some mutterings."

>Mutterings?

"Hm? Oh yes, there have been mutterings that Chrysalis is planning a visit down to see you soon. Some guards overheard her asking of your origins to some of the other changelings. They take it to mean she is going to speak to you soon."

>...Oh... I see... yes, that does seem to indicate she will be paying me a visit soon.

A curious, prissy eyebrow went up.

"Is this of issue?"

>...Of course not. I have no issues telling her exactly what I think of her. I very much think if she does come down here, she will leave stomping more prissily than you do.

"HRMPH!"

>But... there is one thing of note. Brother? Would you mind doing me a favor?

That prissy eyebrow lowered, becoming a look of concern.

"I... Suppose."

>Good, give me your hoof.

He cast a suspicious glance, of course, but the utterly serious look on the other stopped that.

As soon as his hoof went through the bars, he found an odd weight on them.

*TINK!*
~CHITTER!~

"...What is this?"

>The favor, of course. Oh, do not give me that, you two. You know how she loves to use you in little games she plays with me. This is merely so you are not turned into some kind of toys for her to torment me with.

He spoke seemingly honestly to them, but the other changeling heard an odd undertone in there. Something beneath the words.

>Just look after them until she has gone, then return them to me, if you would. Be sure to wait until she has come and left, lest you be caught on accident.

"Al... alright."

He held onto the other's hoof even after they had been placed there, looking upon them with a warm, almost fatherly gaze.

>Look after them while I cannot, won't you? They are... amazing friends. They will stick by you in harshest times, give you a steady outlook when you need it, and they will always be ready to be the friend you need, no mater what.

"..."

Even now, he held on, still gripping the other as his head slowly tilted up, and he looked to the other changeling in the eyes.

>Twenty Nine... thank you for coming to see me, all these months. You... you didn't have to do this, any of this.

Feeling suddenly inadequate, his eyes cut away.

"They are just... things."

>Yes, you are correct. The drinks, the food, the posters, the books, they are just things. They are merely objects, I could take them or leave them without a care and live every day without them.

Before the indignity could set in, the hooves gripping him squeezed tightly.

>They are just objects... but what they meant, their meaning, is far more than anything material could express. I do not need a good drink, but I needed a friend to bring me one more than anything in the world, and you did that. I did not need to read, but I needed a friend to debate. I did not need candy... but I needed someone who wished to give me it anyway, regardless of the dangers it posed. Thank you.

It was only now that he let go and the hoof curled inwards, carrying the golem and cockroach along with him.

>I needed a friend... ALL of my friends. Without you three... I would have gone mad. And it's only because of you three... that I care to be sane at all.

The feeling was fogging his eyes. Already it was getting harder and harder to see.

"S-she's not going to kill you or anything, we will be back soon enough."

>Yes... yes of course. Safe travels, Q. Do not annoy them too much, Reggie. Twenty Nine.. whatever happens with you and your lady mares, I hope... I hope it makes you happy. I hope the best... for all of you.

"...I will be back."

The posh changeling turned away, unable to look at him any longer. He tried to ignore that sad smile as he started off, he tried to ignore the tinks and chitters as his new riders called out for their friend, held onto them with his magic so they would not go away, would not run back to him as they so desperately tried to.

He left... not a single stomp, not a single huff. He left as peacefully as he had come... and it had never felt more wrong.

Thirty Two counted the minutes after the left, waited until well, well past the time when they would have returned, had they the strength to turn around. Only then, when he felt the coast was clear, did he turn his back on the bars, and face his prison cell.

The cell that had been his home.

The cell he knew ever inch of.

The cell... that held too much.

Too many memories.

To many things.

...Too much evidence.

His horn blazed to life, and soon the various cockroaches that resided inside his cell all found themselves lifted, dancing through the air like leaves falling in a world without gravity. He plucked them and their pizza box home, every single one, not a single roach or bug missed, and with one light toss he shoved them all into the empty cell on the other end of the wall.

>Stay over there... for your own protection.

His horn blazed to life again. Resolutely, he looked down at his hoof, watching it curl in determination, feeling the fresh love that had been poured into it burn within.

And burn it did.

In seconds everything in his cell was an inferno of green fire, the all cleansing heat racing across every book, scrap of trash and even the bed and sheets. In the blink of an eye, nothing was unconsumed by it's ever hungering, voracious maw of flame.

Coldly, he turned away from the blaze, from the things he had destroyed to hide away all evidence of any friend he had ever held in this place. She would not find him, not now.

Now... he simply had to sit, and wait.

>It is time to end this, Chrysalis.

One way or another...

>It's going to end.

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NON-CANON!
{Chrysalis}
~~~

>...Wow this is a lot of fire... wow, okay a LOT of fire, this is a... I did not think this through. I am in a confined space with WOW OKAY FIRE! REGRET! I FEEL SO MUCH REGRET! OH FU-

~~~~

{Thirty Two! It is long since time we have had... WHAT THE FUCK!?}

*SIZZLE*

{...NOBODY WILL BELIEVE I DIDN'T DO THIS!}

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 >Pennydrop
"Marketing"

>...okay, explain this one to me again.

"Uh, Sapphire Shores wants to buy some of our infusions."

>...Sapphire Shores.

"Yes."

>The singer.

"Yes."

>Did...did she give a reason?

"Well she thinks some pyrotechnics would help ramp up her performance at the Mayor of Manehattan's birthday party and it's cheaper to just get some earth ponies that can throw fire out of their hooves into the air than some unicorns."

>...

"...you can't understand how she doesn't want to off someone with them, do you?"

>Does not compute.

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 >Chyrsalis
"SA"
~~~~

>AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH

"So, from your loud, booming cackle, I take it you stumbled across today's Hive Gazette?"

>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

"I'll have you know I, personally, read the entirety of the aritcle, and there is nothing that funny about it. It is simply a misunderstanding, one which stirs up quite the intellectual debate I'll have you know."

>AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAH

"Certainly not what you are thinking. Yep, No reason whatsoever that we shouldohfuckitAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH"

>AHAHHAHHHAHAHHAHA

>"AHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAAH"

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'PD'
~~~~

'...So that's what a ladyboner feels like...'

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[Gwen]
~~~~

[...I am buying 10 a cake... also, HONEY! I AM IN THE MOOD!]

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{DT}
~~~

{...Come on, me, don't show it, don't let them know you don't know what a prostitute is, just find it funny... unless it's something like a trainer that you're not supposed to find funny... FAUSTDAMN IT WHAT'S A PROSTITUTE!?}

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~Siegfried~
~~

~Wait... prostitution is illegal? OH FUCK!~

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>Applejack
"Spike"

>....Ohhhhhhhhhhh, ah know ah shouldn't, but ah am just feeling so fine with this

"I'm....happy....I don't think I've been this happy in a long time"

>....Backrub?

"Oh yeah"

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