Fatanon 9

>You are Anonymous, and you are currently buried waist deep in a pile of very thick books.
>Twilight has gone away with Spike, and they were in a hurry.
>They didn't have time to clean up, so now you're stuck with this mess.
>It's been a long time since you first arrived in Ponyville, and a long time since you found out that you won't be able to go home. Twilight, bless her little heart, tried her hardest.
>Eventually, you sat down and had a talk with her about it, and you both agreed that it would be less stressful on both of you if she stopped trying.
>It took up valuable time she could be spending on her studies.
>Not only that, but you've lost a shit ton of weight and gotten lean and fit.
>Like a fucking boss.
>As you're trudging through the big pile of books you hear the door to the library open and see just who you were hoping to see.
>"Heya Big Guy."
"Hey Dash."
>"You want me to come back later? It looks kind of uh... cluttered in here."
"Nah, it's fine, come on in."
>"If you say so."
>Dash steps carefully over the piles of books, making her way to you at a very slow pace.
>Eventually she reaches you with a huge grin on her face, "Man, Twi really outdid herself this time."
>You laugh.
"I think the girl MIGHT have a bit of a hoarding problem."
>"I thought I was the only one who thought so!"
"Ha, should we get her professional help?"
>"No way! She would be all, 'Don't put that THERE, it gets filed HERE! Don't touch that, it's a first edition copy!'"
"That's a pretty good impression of Twilight you've got there."
>"I've known her for a long time. We're all close, but I think out of all my friends I'm closest with Twilight and Fluttershy."
>You pick up a book on giant creatures and start to leaf through it.
"What about me?"
>Dash goes silent for a long moment.
>As cliche as it is, you can cut the tension with a knife.
>"Well... that's uh... a bit... different..."
"How so?"
>You close the book and look down at her. She's got a bit of a blush on her face, and she's not meeting your eyes.
>Another minute passes, and then another.
>Neither of you are moving.
>Then Dash jumps into the air and floats to eye level with you.
>She plants her lips against yours.
-----

>Day Wet Dream in Equestria
>Your eyes flutter open. The first thing you notice is that you're wrapped tightly in blankets, and are wearing new clothes.
>You're still in the princess' castle, judging by how fancy the room you're in looks.
>At your bed side you see Twilight, Dash, and the Princess.
>Twilight's got a shit eating grin on her face, that can't be good.
>Dash... Dash is blushing with the fury of a thousand suns. She looks shocked, but thankfully not angry.
>You grin sheepishly.
"I uh... talk in my sleep."
>Celestia clears her throat, "Well, it's wonderful to meet you Anonymous, and I think we can all agree when I put forward the proposal that not a word of what we just witnessed leaves the castle."
>Twilight's grin fades slightly.
>"Yes, that means you too, My Faithful Student."
>Dash looks like her brain is still trying to process what she just saw.
>You don't even want to know what you said if it hit her this bad.
"Let us agree to never speak of this again."
>Celestia nods, "Indeed. To start off, I trust you find your accomodation in Ponyville adequate?"
"Yeah, Twilight's been a real great friend, letting me work for her and stay at her place."
>"Wait, no!" shouts Dash, "Hell no, we're not gonna just drop this like it never happened!"
>Celestia sighs, and you bring a hand to your face, already preparing for the onslaught.
>"First of all, from what Twi tells me about your world interspecies romance isn't exactly a thing!"
>Oh God she's being way to forward about this.
>Who are you kidding? This is Dash, she charges shit head on, of course she would treat romance the same way.
>Shit, that means she's about to let you down.
"Well, you guys talk."
>Dash narrows her eyes at you, "Is that really all it takes?"
"And you don't look like horses back on my world. I mean, they're beautiful in an 'animal' way. Like, they have the grace and you can appreciate them in that way, but a functioning human wouldn't think of them in a sexual way."
>Celestia frowns, "So there are humans that..."
"... Yeah, have sex with animals."
>Dash's jaw drops, "Wait! Does that mean YOU'RE one of those?! That's it, I'm done! No more morning runs! I'm out!"
"No, NO! Dammit give me a chance to finish!"
>She isn't listening, "And you STAY AWAY from Fluttershy's cottage, who knows what you'd do to the poor animals there!"
>You sit up and take a deep breath.
"DASH!"
>She finally stops.
"You guys aren't animals."
>It takes a moment for her to process this, but once she does she lets out a breath of relief, "Anon, please never do that again."
>Before you two can carry on Celestia nudges Twilight, "Perhaps this is a conversation the two of them should have in private."
>Twilight nods, following the princess out into the hallway.
>After a long time of sitting in silence you finally get the courage to say something.
"Sorry about this."
>Dash smirks, "Well, it's not like you could help it. I AM the awesomest pegasus in Equestria, after all."
"Not making me feel any better."
>Dash rolls her eyes, "Listen Anon. I like you, you're my bro, but I don't know if I LIKE like you."
"Yeah, I figured. Not sure if I'm ready to date outside my own species anyways."
>"Right, so, if it does end up going down that road, totally awesome. If not, still totally awesome."
"You seem pretty open about this."
>"Well, interspecies isn't out of the question, I've seen griffons that date ponies."
"Makes sense."
>"Good." She holds out her hoof to you, and you bang your fist into it.
>Suddenly, you hear hushed whispering outside the door.
>Dash's eyes narrow, and she trots to the door of the room and opens it.
>Twilight and Celestia tumble into the room in a tangled mess of pony.
>It takes a second before they realize they've been busted.
>Celestia untangles herself from Twilight, stands up, and clears her throat, "It's a good thing I came back when I did. To think I would find my favorite student eavesdropping on one of her closest friends!"
>Twilight looks shocked, "Bu... but... Princess! This was YOUR idea!"
>"I expect an apology letter to be written to Anonymous and Rainbow Dash, and you will send copies to me as well."
>With that final word the Princess huffs and walks out of the room.
>Twilight finally gets to her hooves, still utterly flabbergasted.
>Eventually she musters up enough brainpower to yell one word.
>"TRAITOR!!"
-------

>The train ride back to Ponyville has been painfully silent so far. Dash and Twilight are sitting on either side of you.
>They definitely aren't being as touchy feely as they usually are.
>Pinkie sits across from the three of you, a frown etched onto her face.
>Eventually the pink mare can't take it anymore, and you can almost hear her snap, "Alright, what the heck is going on here?! You were all hunky dory on the way in but now you won't even smile! You're all party poopers!"
"Sorry Pinkie!"
>"I won't take apologies, only smiles! Dashie, why are you so quiet?!"
>"Me? I uh... because?"
>Pinkie leaps from her side of the seats and wraps her hooves around all three of us, forcefully bringing us together, "There, isn't that better?"
>Either she fails to notice you and Dash blushing, or she's ignoring it completely.
>Twilight coughs.
>Pinkie sighs, her mane deflating slightly.
>Then, as if in a moment of clarity, her eyes widen, "Wait a minute!" She pulls away and points at me, "You have a crush on Dashie!"
>Dash shoves a hoof in Pinkie's mouth before she can blab any further.
>You raise an eyebrow.
"How did she even..."
>"It's Pinkie," says Twilight, "There's nothing to explain. Alright, Pinkie, I need you to listen to me very carefully."
>Pinkie nods under Dash's hoof, and Twilight continues, "You cannot tell ANYONE about this. Anonymous and Rainbow have decided to see where it goes, and they don't need other people pitching in everywhere they go, okay?"
>A muffled 'okay' from Pinkie is her response.
>Twilight nods firmly, "Good, now that's settled we can get back to the uncomfortable silence."
"Fine by me."