Love is Love

I made out with my homeless, alchoholic, ex girlfriend yesterday and almost had sex with her. Let me just get that out of the way right now. If not for the fact that she was on the rag and looking for her asshole friends who had taken her backpack, I might've been balls deep in her asshole. That's always a pretty opening line, right? well it's true. We hadn't seen each other in quite sometime, and it was just fucking perfect, we made out for a good solid ten to twenty minutes, out in the open, and to be honest, I loved every minute of it. Do I wish we were back together? Fuck no. She has problems that I, unfortunately, am ill equipped to handle, and as much as I'd love to handle her, I've got other priorities on my brain that require more of my attention. I'm wondering if this kind of makes me a giant ass hat from the whole thing, or if I just stopped caring about the whole aspect of relationships to begin with?

Whatever the answer, I don't care. It was a long time since I've experienced that level of happiness with any woman, and I KNOW for a fact that it has everything to do with her height, she and I are about the same height, around 6'5, and I fucking love it. But I'm single, and am entirely new to the concept of hooking up, and for the most part, it does show. I'm thinking this is the reason I haven't felt the need to go find a girlfriend, because i know that I've already got one. I think I stopped short of proposing to her becausei n hindsight, I realized what the fuck I was getting myself into. I'm done living in the past, not because it's a major drag, but because it slows me down in prgressing forward with my won life.

After all, happiness is the epitome of the Human Experience, right? So why shouldn't i prevent myself from being happy, even if it does contradict and overwrite my previous beliefs in ordered chaos and all of that!? I can no longer have my own mind unfettered by these illogical strains of nonconformity, of noncommitalism, of not giving any fucks.

After all, strong hearts bread strong heartbeats.