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PoundAnon

(FR) Seven

Mar 17th, 2013
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  1. >Day “Seven” in Equestria
  2. >You are Anon, and currently inside of PurpleSmart’s library
  3. “Look, I’m telling you. Every freaking day she’s out there”
  4. “~Oh Anon, is this your fetish? Is this? How about this?~”
  5. >Twilight nodded and kept on reading her book
  6. >”Sure she did”
  7. “SHE DID! Look, why don’t you get off your lazy flank and come with me one morning”
  8. >Twilight paused and put her hoof to her chin
  9. >”Hmmm… na…”
  10. “Damnit Violet Magic! You have a dragon for an assistant, use magic to move everything, and refuse to walk ten minutes to where I live to see Fluttershy wearing a gimp mask and humping a tree.”
  11. “You are like THE embodiment of sloth and laziness.”
  12. >”Hmm… that’s nice…”
  13. >She turned another page
  14. ”Fine. Be like that. Just to let you know that sloth is one of the deadly sins for a reason”
  15. >”Deadly sins? What?”
  16. >Oh yea, right. You forgot. You’re in magical talking horse land
  17. >So you take a moment to satisfy her curiosity and tell her about the seven deadly sins
  18. >Which you don’t remember, so instead you tell her about that Kevin Spacey movie ‘Seven’
  19. >Man, that movie was fun
  20. >Several minutes later
  21. >”That’s… an interesting tale, but what were we talking about again?”
  22. “FLUTTERSHY! WE WERE TALKING ABOUT FLUTTERSHY YOU LAZY HORSE! GAAHHHH!!”
  23. >You storm out of the library
  24. >This wasn’t the first time, nor would it be the last
  25. >You stand in the middle of town, with your hands on your head
  26. >And think…
  27. >Yea Flutters has been pestering you, but still she was pretty cool
  28. >In fact, she might actually be your closest friend
  29. >All the other ponies thought your credibility was shit because you kept on accusing Flutters of fetish guessing and rape attempts
  30. >However, the worse pony was Twilight
  31. >You actually have a major crush on her
  32. >[spoiler]Librarians are your fetish[/spoiler]
  33. >It’s just that she won’t listen to a word you say
  34. >But she was unbearable… you just needed some way to get at her…
  35.  
  36.  
  37. >…
  38. >Yea… yea that could work
  39.  
  40. >Be Twilight Sparkle
  41. >And over the last couple of weeks a slew of murders swept across P0nyville
  42. >First it was that weird pony that liked jams a bit too much
  43. >He was found in one of his large jam jars, suffocated from the lack of oxygen
  44. >It looked like the jar was sealed shut with a lock that could be accessed on the inside
  45. >And there was a key inside also, at the bottom of the jam
  46. >Jam pony was trying to eat his way to the bottom to get the key, only to fail before he even reached the half-way point
  47. >Outside of his jar was a note with a single word on it
  48. >[GLUTTONY]
  49.  
  50. >A few days later a bunch of fillies came across Snowflake in the forest
  51. >He was hooked up to some sort of collection of ropes and pulleys, which were attached to boulders and knives
  52. >This get-up looked like he was supposed to cut off chunks of his flesh
  53. >And he was supposed to cut enough that it weighed the same as one of the boulders
  54. >But he didn’t, and slowly more knives and rope cut into him
  55. >His limbs were torn off a day or two prior, and a single sign hung around his neck
  56. >[PRIDE]
  57.  
  58. >Finally the latest murder was of Filthy Rich
  59. >He was found in his office after a three day weekend
  60. >On the wall behind him was a very large number, apparently the number of bits he had to stuff inside of himself
  61. >His stomach, throat, and mouth were full of bits after he tried to eat them
  62. >And when he couldn’t eat any more, he began jamming some up his colon
  63. >Another sign lay across his body
  64. >[GREED]
  65.  
  66. >Nop0ny knew what was going on
  67. >Some were scared, thinking a curse or something was upon the town
  68. >Others panicked and fled
  69. >But you knew something else; when Anon was telling you about that messed up movie he mentioned what the seven sins were
  70. >These were three of them
  71. >You were ahead of the local guards because you had a lead!
  72. >All you had to do was find Anonymous and ask him who else knew about that story
  73. >Then you can narrow down the suspect list!
  74. >Except for one major problem
  75. >Anonymous was nowhere to be found
  76. >His house has been empty for at least the past week, maybe more
  77. >So you are here, sitting in the Library with Spike and AJ, trying to think your way to a solution
  78. “Okay. Lust, Sloth, Green, Envy, Wrath, Pride, and Gluttony. Those were the seven”
  79. “As of right now, Greed, Pride, and Gluttony have already been killed”
  80. >AJ spoke up
  81. >”Don’t that mean we just gotta find who fits Lust, Sloth, Wrath, and Envy the best?”
  82. “Yea, of course, but how can we figure that out?”
  83. >”Well, let’s start with Envy. Who do you think would be the most envious around here?”
  84. >The three of you think for a moment before Spike shouts
  85. >”Rarity! If anyp0ny would be envious, they would be envying her!”
  86. “That’s not how it works. They pony that gets killed is the one who IS envious, not the one who is envied after”
  87. >”Well… I do know that she’s rather envious of Canterlot folk, and that she is always going on an’ on about how she wishes she could move there”
  88. >…Buck it. Mind as well let her know
  89. >You and AJ both leave Spike behind as you run to the boutique
  90. >But something was wrong
  91.  
  92. >It’s mid-day, but it’s closed
  93. “Rarity! It’s us, Twilight and AJ! Are you here?”
  94. >You knocked on her door, only to find it open
  95. >The inside was dark, and you two treaded carefully
  96. >”Darn, why are all the curtains closed”
  97. “Hold on…”
  98. >Powering up a light spell, then releasing it
  99. >The boutique is pretty much normal, if not unoccupied
  100. >But a small dripping noise is coming from the bathroom
  101. >The two of you enter the water closet…
  102. >Only to gasp in shock
  103. >The mirror is broken into a thousand tiny pieces
  104. >And other mirrors have been brought into the room, also shattered
  105. >Plastered across all of the walls are fashion and celebrity magazines
  106. >And in the middle, in her bathtub, lies Rarity
  107. >Her skin has shards of mirror no smaller than cherries sewn into it
  108. >And her eyes are bleeding out, having large sharp pieces jammed into them
  109. >It looks like she was forced to do this to herself, as you detect magical residue coming from the broken mirror and needle/thread kit on the floor
  110. “What… How…”
  111. >Across her chest is another sign
  112. >[ENVY]
  113.  
  114. >A day later you and AJ were alone in the library
  115. >The death of your friend was shocking to say the least
  116. >And you still weren’t able to get a hold of Anonymous
  117. >AJ was nearing the end of her nerves
  118. >”This is bucking horseapples! We should do something!”
  119. “Like what?”
  120. >You throw a stack of notes across the room
  121. “We don’t know who’s doing this. No evidence, no clues, and the only possible lead is an alien ape man who hasn’t been seen in WEEKS!”
  122. >”Umm… I just saw Anon a few minutes ago”
  123. >Spike had wandered into the room
  124. “WHAT?” [spoiler] [/spoiler] >”WHAT?”
  125. >”Yea, he stopped by to give me this, and he told me to give it to you”
  126. >It was a small note that you quickly magicked out of his claws
  127. “Indigoclever, I know I haven’t been around the past couple of weeks. Also there have been a series of murders. I am behind them. The purity and innocence of this world has awoken me, and I realized it must be maintained at any cost. There are three more I have to do, but I’m afraid I need your help. Lust, Sloth, and Wrath. Meet me in my house before 9.”
  128. >”…Is he serious?”
  129. “Doesn’t matter. I need to talk to him. Spike, stay here. If we don’t come back I want you to tell the guards. AJ, we gotta do this now, before he can hurt any other pony”
  130. >And with that the two of you ran to his house near the outskirts of town
  131.  
  132. >You didn’t bother knocking as AJ kicked down the front door
  133. “ANON! COME OUT!”
  134. >A small weary laugh echoed through out
  135. >As Anon is seen sitting on a chair
  136. >With a bloody box on his lap
  137. >”Twilight, AJ, I’m glad you came…”
  138. >AJ stepped back, scared out of her mind
  139. >Anon’s voice is calm and monotone, eerily so
  140. “Anon, you have a lot of explaining to do”
  141. >”I know… I know… Do you know what the last three sins were?”
  142. >He shifted, giving you a better view of his bloody shirt and pants
  143. >”Lust, Sloth, and Wrath. Do you know who best made them up?”
  144. >The box on his lap suddenly seemed a lot more important
  145. “Anon, just be quiet. We should head to the mayor’s office to-“
  146. >”Do you hear me Twilight? I’m trying to tell you about a lustful little yellow pegasus”
  147. >You stop and freeze
  148. >”This pegasus which kept following me around and harassing me. In my rage and resulting actions I have realized that my sin is Wrath”
  149. “Anon… what’s in the box?”
  150. >He sits still, staring you down
  151. >”And here you are, Twilight Sparkle. Master of Magic. Personal student of the Sun God. All to think you could have stopped me.”
  152. >Anonymous leans in
  153. >”But you didn’t, for you are sloth…”
  154. “What’s in the box!?”
  155. >You step closer, readying offensive magical spells
  156. >”Why don’t you see it for yourself, my little pony…”
  157. >You jumped on the chair, and pressed your horn to his head
  158. >Then, you opened the bloody box
  159.  
  160. >”Twilight…”
  161. >What… you… but…
  162. >”It’s [spoiler] My dick in a box [/spoiler]
  163. [spoiler]https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=nN2LkxntlM4#t=52s[/spoiler]
  164. >Fluttershy appears from the door and starts singing backup vocals
  165. >”He’s not gonna get you a diamond ring”
  166. >”That sort of gift don’t mean a thing”
  167. >Now Rarity appears on Jar Pone’s back
  168. >”Not gonna get you a jelly jar”
  169. >”Girl he gotta show you you’re his shining star”
  170. >AJ breaks in
  171. >”Not gonna buck you up in the hills”
  172. >”A mare like you needs something real”
  173. >Soon everp0ny from Filthy Rich to Snowflake appeared and were singing
  174. >You don’t remember too much what happened afterwards
  175. >Only that the next morning you woke up in Anon’s bed feeling satisfied
  176. >Anon was curled up next to you with his face buried in your mane
  177. >You slowly go back to sleep and pull Anonymous closer…
  178. “Fucking Anonymous”
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