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- >Day “Seven” in Equestria
- >You are Anon, and currently inside of PurpleSmart’s library
- “Look, I’m telling you. Every freaking day she’s out there”
- “~Oh Anon, is this your fetish? Is this? How about this?~”
- >Twilight nodded and kept on reading her book
- >”Sure she did”
- “SHE DID! Look, why don’t you get off your lazy flank and come with me one morning”
- >Twilight paused and put her hoof to her chin
- >”Hmmm… na…”
- “Damnit Violet Magic! You have a dragon for an assistant, use magic to move everything, and refuse to walk ten minutes to where I live to see Fluttershy wearing a gimp mask and humping a tree.”
- “You are like THE embodiment of sloth and laziness.”
- >”Hmm… that’s nice…”
- >She turned another page
- ”Fine. Be like that. Just to let you know that sloth is one of the deadly sins for a reason”
- >”Deadly sins? What?”
- >Oh yea, right. You forgot. You’re in magical talking horse land
- >So you take a moment to satisfy her curiosity and tell her about the seven deadly sins
- >Which you don’t remember, so instead you tell her about that Kevin Spacey movie ‘Seven’
- >Man, that movie was fun
- >Several minutes later
- >”That’s… an interesting tale, but what were we talking about again?”
- “FLUTTERSHY! WE WERE TALKING ABOUT FLUTTERSHY YOU LAZY HORSE! GAAHHHH!!”
- >You storm out of the library
- >This wasn’t the first time, nor would it be the last
- >You stand in the middle of town, with your hands on your head
- >And think…
- >Yea Flutters has been pestering you, but still she was pretty cool
- >In fact, she might actually be your closest friend
- >All the other ponies thought your credibility was shit because you kept on accusing Flutters of fetish guessing and rape attempts
- >However, the worse pony was Twilight
- >You actually have a major crush on her
- >[spoiler]Librarians are your fetish[/spoiler]
- >It’s just that she won’t listen to a word you say
- >But she was unbearable… you just needed some way to get at her…
- >…
- >Yea… yea that could work
- >Be Twilight Sparkle
- >And over the last couple of weeks a slew of murders swept across P0nyville
- >First it was that weird pony that liked jams a bit too much
- >He was found in one of his large jam jars, suffocated from the lack of oxygen
- >It looked like the jar was sealed shut with a lock that could be accessed on the inside
- >And there was a key inside also, at the bottom of the jam
- >Jam pony was trying to eat his way to the bottom to get the key, only to fail before he even reached the half-way point
- >Outside of his jar was a note with a single word on it
- >[GLUTTONY]
- >A few days later a bunch of fillies came across Snowflake in the forest
- >He was hooked up to some sort of collection of ropes and pulleys, which were attached to boulders and knives
- >This get-up looked like he was supposed to cut off chunks of his flesh
- >And he was supposed to cut enough that it weighed the same as one of the boulders
- >But he didn’t, and slowly more knives and rope cut into him
- >His limbs were torn off a day or two prior, and a single sign hung around his neck
- >[PRIDE]
- >Finally the latest murder was of Filthy Rich
- >He was found in his office after a three day weekend
- >On the wall behind him was a very large number, apparently the number of bits he had to stuff inside of himself
- >His stomach, throat, and mouth were full of bits after he tried to eat them
- >And when he couldn’t eat any more, he began jamming some up his colon
- >Another sign lay across his body
- >[GREED]
- >Nop0ny knew what was going on
- >Some were scared, thinking a curse or something was upon the town
- >Others panicked and fled
- >But you knew something else; when Anon was telling you about that messed up movie he mentioned what the seven sins were
- >These were three of them
- >You were ahead of the local guards because you had a lead!
- >All you had to do was find Anonymous and ask him who else knew about that story
- >Then you can narrow down the suspect list!
- >Except for one major problem
- >Anonymous was nowhere to be found
- >His house has been empty for at least the past week, maybe more
- >So you are here, sitting in the Library with Spike and AJ, trying to think your way to a solution
- “Okay. Lust, Sloth, Green, Envy, Wrath, Pride, and Gluttony. Those were the seven”
- “As of right now, Greed, Pride, and Gluttony have already been killed”
- >AJ spoke up
- >”Don’t that mean we just gotta find who fits Lust, Sloth, Wrath, and Envy the best?”
- “Yea, of course, but how can we figure that out?”
- >”Well, let’s start with Envy. Who do you think would be the most envious around here?”
- >The three of you think for a moment before Spike shouts
- >”Rarity! If anyp0ny would be envious, they would be envying her!”
- “That’s not how it works. They pony that gets killed is the one who IS envious, not the one who is envied after”
- >”Well… I do know that she’s rather envious of Canterlot folk, and that she is always going on an’ on about how she wishes she could move there”
- >…Buck it. Mind as well let her know
- >You and AJ both leave Spike behind as you run to the boutique
- >But something was wrong
- >It’s mid-day, but it’s closed
- “Rarity! It’s us, Twilight and AJ! Are you here?”
- >You knocked on her door, only to find it open
- >The inside was dark, and you two treaded carefully
- >”Darn, why are all the curtains closed”
- “Hold on…”
- >Powering up a light spell, then releasing it
- >The boutique is pretty much normal, if not unoccupied
- >But a small dripping noise is coming from the bathroom
- >The two of you enter the water closet…
- >Only to gasp in shock
- >The mirror is broken into a thousand tiny pieces
- >And other mirrors have been brought into the room, also shattered
- >Plastered across all of the walls are fashion and celebrity magazines
- >And in the middle, in her bathtub, lies Rarity
- >Her skin has shards of mirror no smaller than cherries sewn into it
- >And her eyes are bleeding out, having large sharp pieces jammed into them
- >It looks like she was forced to do this to herself, as you detect magical residue coming from the broken mirror and needle/thread kit on the floor
- “What… How…”
- >Across her chest is another sign
- >[ENVY]
- >A day later you and AJ were alone in the library
- >The death of your friend was shocking to say the least
- >And you still weren’t able to get a hold of Anonymous
- >AJ was nearing the end of her nerves
- >”This is bucking horseapples! We should do something!”
- “Like what?”
- >You throw a stack of notes across the room
- “We don’t know who’s doing this. No evidence, no clues, and the only possible lead is an alien ape man who hasn’t been seen in WEEKS!”
- >”Umm… I just saw Anon a few minutes ago”
- >Spike had wandered into the room
- “WHAT?” [spoiler] [/spoiler] >”WHAT?”
- >”Yea, he stopped by to give me this, and he told me to give it to you”
- >It was a small note that you quickly magicked out of his claws
- “Indigoclever, I know I haven’t been around the past couple of weeks. Also there have been a series of murders. I am behind them. The purity and innocence of this world has awoken me, and I realized it must be maintained at any cost. There are three more I have to do, but I’m afraid I need your help. Lust, Sloth, and Wrath. Meet me in my house before 9.”
- >”…Is he serious?”
- “Doesn’t matter. I need to talk to him. Spike, stay here. If we don’t come back I want you to tell the guards. AJ, we gotta do this now, before he can hurt any other pony”
- >And with that the two of you ran to his house near the outskirts of town
- >You didn’t bother knocking as AJ kicked down the front door
- “ANON! COME OUT!”
- >A small weary laugh echoed through out
- >As Anon is seen sitting on a chair
- >With a bloody box on his lap
- >”Twilight, AJ, I’m glad you came…”
- >AJ stepped back, scared out of her mind
- >Anon’s voice is calm and monotone, eerily so
- “Anon, you have a lot of explaining to do”
- >”I know… I know… Do you know what the last three sins were?”
- >He shifted, giving you a better view of his bloody shirt and pants
- >”Lust, Sloth, and Wrath. Do you know who best made them up?”
- >The box on his lap suddenly seemed a lot more important
- “Anon, just be quiet. We should head to the mayor’s office to-“
- >”Do you hear me Twilight? I’m trying to tell you about a lustful little yellow pegasus”
- >You stop and freeze
- >”This pegasus which kept following me around and harassing me. In my rage and resulting actions I have realized that my sin is Wrath”
- “Anon… what’s in the box?”
- >He sits still, staring you down
- >”And here you are, Twilight Sparkle. Master of Magic. Personal student of the Sun God. All to think you could have stopped me.”
- >Anonymous leans in
- >”But you didn’t, for you are sloth…”
- “What’s in the box!?”
- >You step closer, readying offensive magical spells
- >”Why don’t you see it for yourself, my little pony…”
- >You jumped on the chair, and pressed your horn to his head
- >Then, you opened the bloody box
- >”Twilight…”
- >What… you… but…
- >”It’s [spoiler] My dick in a box [/spoiler]
- [spoiler]https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=nN2LkxntlM4#t=52s[/spoiler]
- >Fluttershy appears from the door and starts singing backup vocals
- >”He’s not gonna get you a diamond ring”
- >”That sort of gift don’t mean a thing”
- >Now Rarity appears on Jar Pone’s back
- >”Not gonna get you a jelly jar”
- >”Girl he gotta show you you’re his shining star”
- >AJ breaks in
- >”Not gonna buck you up in the hills”
- >”A mare like you needs something real”
- >Soon everp0ny from Filthy Rich to Snowflake appeared and were singing
- >You don’t remember too much what happened afterwards
- >Only that the next morning you woke up in Anon’s bed feeling satisfied
- >Anon was curled up next to you with his face buried in your mane
- >You slowly go back to sleep and pull Anonymous closer…
- “Fucking Anonymous”
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