Part Thirteen - Unnamed

> You close the door to the boutique waving a grateful goodbye to Rarity and a sad farewell to the last of your bits.
> You head back towards the library, carrying your more mundane purchases in a bag.
> The outfit that Rarity made? That you wear home.
> It'd be insulting not too, given the effort that went into it and in truth, you do like how it looks.
> A hard wearing set of leggings, dark brown in colour, and a forest green tunic, cloak and hood included.
> Catching your reflection in a shop window you have to admit she was right.
> Green certainly is Mr Anon's colour.
> It must have been a challenging task though.
> Rarity had to learn the shape and flow of cloth on a human form.
> How to make not just fit, but move and most important of all?
> To look good.
> The clothes weren't just another commission to Rarity.
> It was a opportunity to learn how to create a new, unique design of clothing.
> Rarity had made clothes for the few other bipeds that inhabit this world in the past.
> Just modifying a such a design 'just wouldnt do' for her.
> That would have been the action of a less talented designer.
> So, you spent the previous day as a mannequin
> Measurments were tricky, slow and at times uncomfortable, but the results were worth it.
> The mare certainly has a perfectionist streak.
> Unfortunately, she also has a predeliction for jewelry.


> That was the only point you argued on.
> If Rarity had her way? You'd have outsparkled Gary Glitter.
> Hang on...
> Who the hell is Gary Glitter and why can you remember him?
> God damn memory.
> You managed to argue her down to one.
> ...Or she argued you up to one, you're not sure who won really.
> A single emerald, oval shaped and serving as a cloak fastener.
> Rarity called it a broach, but you let that slide.
> In all fairness, it does look nice.
> It was all you could do to win that one.
> You just wish you could have talked her out of one other accessory...
> Opening the library door, you wave a greeting to Spike and Twilight and head towards your room.
> The two of them are preparing for some excursion by the look of things.
> Twilight has her saddlebags on a table and Spike is filling them with books, scrolls and a small packed lunch.
> "You're back!" Twilight seems excited for some reason. "...and those clothes! Rarity never ceases to amaze me."
> "She's the best, *sigh*" Spike leans on the table with one elbow, resting his head on his hand.
> You throw your bag into your room hoping it lands on the bed.
> "Anonymous..." Twilight asks "...why are you wearing a saddle?"
> Ah yes.
> The other accessory.

> You genuinely hoped the cloak would have hidden it until you could take it off.
> Maybe keep if for 'special occasions' and then lose track of it in a permanent sense.
> Preferably using a shovel and the cover of night.
> "Well I think it's cute." Twilight has lifted your cloak with a glow of purple and is inspecting the... item up close.
> "The stitching is so fine! She must have spent so long working on the pattern alone."
"Miss Sparkle, that's not helping."
> She looks up at you, eyebrow cocked. "You don't like it?"
"I...It's not that... I know how hard she must have worked on it. It looks wonderful, but..."
> "But?" Twilight waits, face impassive.
"Saddles aren't... a human thing."
> "Oh, so you don't have saddles where you come from?" a spark of genuine interest twinkles in her eyes.
"Well we have them but..."
> You really don't want to get into the whole 'beast of burden' thing again.
> It didn't go down well at the Canterlot banquet all those weeks ago.
> You can still hear the awkward silence punctuated with polite coughs and somep0ny choking on a monacle.
"...humans just don't wear them."
> "Rarity will LOVE to hear that. You'll be starting a whole new fashion!"
> Oh god.
"Isn't it more of a mare's item of clothing though?"
> Brilliant!
> "Well... it is true that mares and fillies wear saddles when they want to look their best."
> Escape door sighted!
> "...but there are a lot of colts who wear them too these days. This is a modern Equestria. Nop0ny is bothered by that sort of thing anymore."
> Twilight smiles, proud of her modern thinking nation and oblivious to your pain.
> Great.
> Rarity dressed you as a p0ny metrosexual.
> You knew you should have run when she started saying 'Fabulous'.

> Think dammit, think.
"Seeing as... I'm a human..."
> Gnargh, this is like mental constipation.
"...and I'm meant to... umn. represent my people?"
> Neeeearly there, one last push!
" Shouldn't I just, y'know, dress as a human would?"
> Twilight stared at you the whole time, puzzled at the desperate look of relief that slowly spread across your face.
> "I suppose, but on formal occasions it wouldn't be out of the questi-"
"Formal occasions only! got it!"
<unbuckle> *thwip* *clunk*
> The saddle lands square on your bed quicker than Twilight can protest.
"Let's get you back to your outing then! Don't want to keep you."
> You guide her towards the table.
> "That reminds me! would you like to come too? We're going on a trip to the Everfree Forest to gather samples of..."
> You tune out Twilights jubilent exposition.
> Didn't Applejack warn you about that place?
> It can't be that bad if Twilight and Spike are going there to pick flowers, or whatever she's got planned.
"Sounds exciting?"
> "Oh, it is! I can't wait!" Twilight nods with furious excitement.
> In the background Spike waves an imaginary little flag with the enthusiasm of a narcoleptic while making a monotone 'yaay' noise.
> Perhaps not as thrilling as you thought.
> Oh well.
> What could go wrong?

> "...and this is a fine example of Oxalis Acetosella, isn't it beautiful?"
"Uhuh."
> Twilight looks at you, waiting for me.
"It's a really... big tree."
> "Anonymous!" Twilight tuts and sweeps her hand over the area near the base of the tree. "... I'm talking about the Wood-sorrel!"
"Uh, yeah. That's really sorrely. I haven't seen wood with such a nice sorrel pattern before."
> Twilight sighs and gestures closer at the small, white wild flower with light pink viens on the bell shaped head.
"Ah. Right. The flower."
> "You're not even paying attention..." Her ears droop a little.
> She's being trying hard to make this as interesting for you as it seems to be for her.
> You've been fighting to keep your attention on Twilights words.
> Unfortunately twenty minutes after crossing the forest edge, you'd lost the battle.
> You can remember most of what was said. "Blah blah flower, blah. Blah blahblah tree. Blah blah blahblah sample. Blah isn't it exciting?"
> Applejack told you the forest had dangers.
> You didn't think one would be boredom.
> Spike at least has something to do.
> He's been gathering samples for Twilight, pressing some between the pages of a note book and tucking others away in small pouches.
> You stop for a moment to re-adjust the weight of the two saddlebags you ended up carrying.
> As you stretch out the kinks in your back Twilight moves off, a little dejected by the look of things.
> One thing you can say about that saddle is that it gave you good back support.
> Oh god.
> You actually miss your saddle.

"Miss Sparkle... wait. Please."
> You catch up to her as she looks back towards you.
> "It's ok Anonymous, I understand." She gives a hollow smile.
> "I know I sometimes get carried away. I don't mean to bore p0nies with-" She rolls her eyes as she says this in mock exasperation at her own foibles.
> "-Too much detail. It's just so interesting I forget that most p0nies find m-" She stopped herself saying it, but you know what she meant. "-this a bit... dull."
> "We'll be done soon." She smiles again, but there's little joy there at all.
> Smooth work Anon.
> Ok, she is a little boring when she gets going, but that's no reason to make her feel bad.
"It's quiet, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm finding this boring."
> "You don't have to lie. I understand."
"Miss Sparkle, I admit that this isn't the kind of activity I would normally enjoy. That doesn't mean you should enjoy it any less."
> She looks at her hooves.
> "I... planned today for you. I thought we'd... that you'd like to learn something new and we'd have fun. Oh... this just isn't working at all."
"Oh."
> She looks up at you "You've been here nearly two weeks now. I thought it'd be nice to do something together. You get on so well with Rainbow. Every chance you get you head to SweetApple Acres..."
> It's true.
> SweetApple Acres is just such a welcoming place, the Apples such a nice family, you look forward to calling by.
> Dash is easy to spend time with, and despite the pranks, jokes and teasing you've bonded.
> Cider, of course, is one hell of a bonding agent.
> "... I thought, maybe, it'd be nice if we could be friends too?"
> She twirls the dirt a little with a forehoof.
> That's too much to take.

"I see what you're trying to do, Miss Sparkle."
> She looks a little worried now, biting her bottom lip.
"Tell you what. Why don't we just start over. Maybe I'll get into things more if I've got something to do?"
> Twilight gives a sigh of relief and calls over Spike.
> "Spike! you take the saddlebags from Anon, he'll gather the samples." She gives a grin " This IS going to be exiting."
> "Thanks a lot." Spike whispers as he takes the bags, clearly not happy with that change.
> He mutters about the weight, 'boring job' and then the weight some more
> You whisper back to him and shrug.
"Sorry little guy."
> Maybe you should sweeten the deal.
"Hey, my packed lunch is right there. It'd be a bit lighter if someone was to take care of that."
> He pauses for a moment, gives a quick gring and a wink, saying "I'm your dragon."
> You can hear the rustle of paper as, arm deep in the bag and tounge sticking out in concentration, Spike rummages for treats.
"So, Miss Sparkle, where do we start?"
> "Right, there's a pressing of the Wood-sorrel to start with."
"How are we going to get a whole tree in the book?"
> She looks at you mouth agape.
"Kidding."
> Twilight sighs and points over to the flowers with an outstretched hoof, Spike persistantly continues exploring the depths of the lunchbag.

> "Anonymous... Why do you always call me Miss?"
> Twilight is supervising you as you clip a couple of flowers from another plant in the shade of a particularly gnarled looking oak.
"Hmn? Oh, well. Before I came to you, the Princess... she told me you were important to her. Somebod- p0ny she trusted. That she held in high regard. So, I suppose it's out of respect."
> Twilight blinks rapidly, mouth agape again.
> "She really said that? the Princess? Celestia?"
"Well, yes."
> The purple mare is overjoyed at the thought.
> Strange how she seems so oblivious of her status.
"She spoke of you often. Quite fondly, might I add."
> *squee* she hops a little with glee.
> You place the cutting in the notebook and press hard, then fix the clasp to keep it closed.
"Well, what next Miss Sparkle?"
> "Hm? Oh, this way, there's a herb that grows in the shade of a certain kind of tree... I won't bore you with the details *giggle*"
> You give a look of mock exasperation at her attempt at a joke.
> With a grin, Twilight heads off towards the next assignment, purple aura carrying an open book of forest lore ahead of her.
> "...you CAN call me Twilight, Anonymous." She adds, not looking back.
"Twilight... very well, if you prefer."
> You follow her path, listening to her read out facts about this herb with... ok, not interest but at least something closely related.
> Off to your right you spot something blue, peeking out between two small shrubs.
> A blue flower, quite a pretty one too.
> She'll definately like that one.
> Time to act on your own initiative, Anon.

> You step back into postion near Twilight.
> She was so enthralled reading from the book, that she didn't notice your absence.
> This'll be great.
"Twilight? I've got something for you."
> You offer up your find and she turns smiling to see your prize.
> *squeal* "getitawaygetitaway!" *eee*
> She dances on the spot almost, hooves clattering this way and that, trying to pull herself away from your outstretched arm.
"What? What? is there a bug on it?"
> You look at the flower head, nothing crawly there.
> She *flumps* her flank onto the ground and peddles herself back from the offered flower, grimacing in panic.
"Does it smell bad to p0nies. *sniff* smells sweet to me."
> "It's poison joke you moron! throw it, throw it now!" She yells out.
> Poison...Joke?
> That can't be right.
> Focus anon....
> ...the important part is at the beginning.
> POISON!
"Blaaaaa*ptoo*"
> You pitch the flower skyward and start furiously trying to make yourself sneeze out the pollen while scraping your hands on a nearby tree.
> The blue flower wafts downwards slowly, drifting near to you again.
"Nyaa!" *krunch*
> You throw yourself forward, crashing through a small cluster of saplings that sit at the edge of a clearing.
> This trips you causing yourself and a significant portion of the sapling you grabbed to slide across the floor into the small glade.

> Twilight and Spike rush into the glade after you.
*cough* "ow"
> You pick yourself up, brushing down your tunic.
"So, what's poison joke and how long do I have to live?"
> "Er.. it's not fatal Anon. It's a magical plant." She seems to be reluctant to break the news.
> "It.. has a sense of humour. I didn't believe it myself when I first..."
"A plant. With a sense of humour."
> "...yes..." She finished weakly.
"I've seen amazing things since I came here, but that sounds like you're the one playing the joke here Twili..g..h..tha hell?"
> You trail off, noticing as you gestured your hands now seem to have a brown colouration.
> ...and the grain of the woode they appear to be made out of.
"My hands..."
> You pat your face, still skin.
> Your hands, thought moving, feel nothing.
"Holy crap. My hands..."
> "Don't worry, Anonymous. It's temporary... well, there's a cure. I keep some of the herbs in stock since... erm."
> Twilight trails off, Spike comes in for a closer look at your affliction.
> "Pfft, looks like it used all the 'A' material for you guys Twi. Wooden hands? what kinda joke is that?"
"Tell you what pipsqueak, let me go find some more and see if it's got an encore for you."
> Spike raises his hands in a slight surrender but keeps grinning at your predicament.
> Twilight looks closer at your hands "We'd better head home."
"... I was just starting to enjoy myself too."
> Twilight smiles, you think she was too.
> As she turns her smile freezes and she hisses "Be quiet. Spike, get behind me."
> Oh hell.
> You can hear something rustling around the saplings you smashed apart.
> This could be one of those critters that Applejack warned you about...
> What has Twilight seen that you haven't?
> It appears poking around the ground near the fallen saplings.
"...is that..."

"...a chicken?"
> Twilight has laid down in the grass and  has a foreleg draped over her eyes.
> Spike is wearing one of the saddlebags on his head, still standing and very visible.
> You are crouched down near them, covered by the glades long grass but unsure as to why you're bothering.
"Guys... It's a chicken."
> "Shhhhh, it might not see us."
"You're over reacting a little bit aren't you?"
> "notachicken" Hisses Twilight.
"Oh come on, it's clucking and everyth...is that a tail? Wow. that is pretty cool. It's like a dragon chicken."
> "S'acockatrice."
"Hey Spikey, I think she liiikes you."
> You give the little dragon a nudge with your elbow, causing him to jump in panic.
"You want me to put a good word in for you dude?"
> "C'nturny'tostone." Twilight hisses again, muffling her words with her forleg.
"I have no idea what your saying. Look, If it's really bothering you I'll shoo it off."
> "BY CELESTIA'S MANE! HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF A COCKATRICE?"
> Twilight lept up to grab your lapels, pulling you nose to nose as she yells.
> You try to unclog an ear with your wooden hand and miss.
"Uh, no."
> *bkbk?* *hssssss*
> *eep* Twilight drops down to the floor, dragging you down too.
> You prop yourself up to get a closer look at the creature when a purple hoof slams your head back down.
> "Don't. Look. Stone. You. Turned. Understand?"
"Maybe?"
> *ngh* she drags her spare hoof down her face in frustration.
> "Is it gone?" Asks Spike from saddlebag bunker.