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- >day 14 in Equestria
- >finally found a place to live and are settling into life in an unfamiliar world
- >knock at the door
- >OHSHI-
- >slowly open door to reveal Lyra
- >everythingwentbetterthanexpected.tiff
- >"Hi, Anon" she says.
- "I'm sorry, we haven't met. And you are?" you lie.
- >"Lyra. Nice to meet somep... someone new in town. I wondered if you needed a HAND with anything."
- >you can see her staring at your hands with a fanatical zeal
- "No. I've already unpacked all my boxes."
- >"Oh." she says dejectedly
- >"Well, you can always find me around town if you need something. I guess I'll"
- "Do you want to come inside? I was just about to have some lunch. I could make you some if you want."
- >she races inside your door and slouches human-style in one of your chairs
- >what do you make now? She's a herbivore but you've got a special deal with AJ for pork and chicken
- "Lyra, I'm almost out of vegetables so I'll have to make you something with meat in it. I hope that's okay.
- >she gasps in shock, then agrees, trying very hard to sound nonchalant
- >you can tell she is somewhat excited to eat meat
- >look through pantry
- >taco shells, apples, lettuce, carrots, ground beef in freezer, cheese
- >closeenough.png
- >make tacos
- >the smell of grilling beef wafts across the room
- >Lyra breathes in
- >she starts hacking and dry heaving and excuses herself to your bathroom
- >nothing in there is intended for use by ponies
- >you can hear her vomit
- >I'm not cleaning that up
- >she tries to take a drink of water from your faucet, but can't turn the knobs
- >she turns on the shower and drinks from that
- >you can hear her give herself a faint peptalk
- >Lyra cleans herself off with your towels. She stands on her hind legs and walks back to the kitchen
- >you ask why she's walking like that
- >"It's just that everything here was meant for some....one with two legs."
- >tacos are ready.
- >Lyra grimaces at the thought of eating a cow like the ones she used to know as a fill
- >You serve Lyra a plate
- >she looks at it like it's poison
- >you start eating away
- >she gets uncomfortable and tries to pick up a shell
- >it slides out of her hooves
- >why can't I hold these tacos?
- >you stop and try to help her
- >nothing works
- >you forget lunch and start talking to Lyra about your jobs
- >she mentions she's the best lyre player in Equestria
- >you ask if she could play you something
- >she plays a fairly good, but slow, version of Winter Wrap Up
- >you clap for her
- >as you clap her face begins to blush.
- >you ask if you can try playing
- >you do an okay rendition of a song you learned on violin as a child.
- >she's astounded
- >"Anon, that's some of the best playing I've ever seen."
- "Really? I thought it was just okay."
- >"Wait right there. I'm going to get Octavia."
- >she and Octavia return almost instantly via teleport
- >"Anonthony. A pleasure to meet you!" Octavia says, holding a violin from the orchestra
- >Lyra explains to her the situation as she hands you the violin
- >you attempt, poorly, to play a vaguely remembered Bach sonata
- >they're astounded and take you to Twilight for further study
- >she hooks your hands to a series of electrodes
- >records you playing
- >"The secret lies entirely in Anon's extra appendages from his hand."
- >Lyra asks Twilight if she can build prosthetic hands so the orchestra can attempt more difficult music
- >you can tell Lyra's bullshitting through her teeth
- >Twilight says she hasn't done enough research and any attempt could be dangerous
- >Lyra pushes Twilight to transform her hooves into hands with a mad look in her eyes
- >Twilight tries a spell from a dusty book
- >Lyra looks at her hooves and makes this face as new fingers appear
- >She tries playing her lyre again
- >absolutely amazing
- >she thanks Twilight and you for giving her an opportunity to play better and walks back home
- >you go home and forget about what happened
- >next morning
- >another knock at the door
- >grab your lucky baseball bat in case of Flutterrapist
- >Lyra again
- >as you let her in the door, you notice her hands are bandaged
- "What happened to your hands?" you ask
- >"You didn't tell me these things were so thin! I tried putting on my shoes today but the nails went through."
- >you give her a pair of work gloves so she doesn't cut herself anymore
- >"Another thing, nothing here was built for use with hands!"
- >youdontsay.avi
- >"I'm also getting worn out walking on two hooves all the time. I can only do that for a little while."
- "Do you want Twilight to undo the spell?" you ask
- >"No, not just yet." she replies
- >"There are a few... advantages" she says, wistfully
- >flash cut to her schlicking, typing a My Little Human clopfic on a typewriter Twilight is building for you, petting Bon Bon's mane as she sleeps while whispering "Who's a good horsie? You are? Yes you are. What's that? 'Neigh?'" and running away as soon as Bon Bon wakes up
- >"OK. So why did you come to me?"
- >"I had a crazy idea and I totally get if you don't want to do it but what if, hear me out, you performed with the Equestria Orchestra next week at their concert series debut. I could be your... girlfriend."
- >areyoufuckingkiddingme
- >"No, see, it not only would make you a celebrity, it would help people see you as just another member of the herd and not 'that hairless monkey alien' like they think of you now."
- "Back up, you would be my 'girlfriend'?" you say, grossed out
- >"That's nothing. I just meant I would accompany you to the show. I was just trying to use the words you're familiar with. We wouldn't have to buck or anything, because I know you're not into ponies. It's all part of the 'Anon's a regular everyday normal pony' scheme
- >you agree, reluctantly
- >she grabs your face with her gloved hands and thanks you profusely
- >what have I gotten myself into
- >be the night of the debut
- >you've practiced the sheet music Octavia gave you but are still only moderately good at it
- >doesn't matter, ponies still think you're incredible
- >you dress in a suit Rarity tailored specially for you in exchange for threading needles for her
- >it's gaudy but nobody knows what human clothes look like
- >Lyra knocks again
- >you open the door and are somewhat shocked
- >her face looks more like a human face
- >you can tell she's wearing prosthetic feet and high heels
- >her skin seems less green
- "Lyra, you look... gorgeous."
- >"Thank you, Anon. You look...HANDsome"
- >if she doesn't stop with the hand puns...
- "So, are you going to teleport us there?"
- >"No, I got us something more romantic"
- >she points to a carriage being pulled by Bon Bon and Pinkie
- >you're WTFing hard at this
- >before you can speak she leads you to the carriage
- "Lyra, why are Pinkie and Bon Bon tied to this carriage?"
- >Twilight gave me copies of your human literature. It just seemed like a romantic gesture
- >she pulls out a whip and smacks Pinkie really hard
- >Pinkie perks up and takes off galloping
- "Stop! Lyra, there's no need to whip them like that. Just tell them where we're going."
- >"But Anon, isn't this how you did it on Ear-"
- "Horses there can't talk. You can. I won't watch you whip my friends like this."
- >She sighs and asks Pinkie and Bon Bon to take you to the symphony.
- >"Roger dodger," says Pinkie before Lyra reminds her that Earth horses don't talk.
- >Lyra's taking this whole "human girlfriend" thing too seriously you think.
- >you arrive at the symphony in time
- >Lyra gets out and pays Pinkie in sugarcubes
- >she almost hitches them to a tree before remembering your directions.
- >as soon as you step out, Pinkie runs away on a sugar high, dragging Bon Bon behind her
- >you look back at Lyra's feet and you see what you think is an ankle coming from the top of her prosthetic feet
- >you look back at her face and notice her horn seems smaller
- >"You're supposed to meet Octavia backstage. I'll be in the front row, putting my hands together after your solo."
- >AGAIN WITH THE FUCKING HAND JOKES
- >you walk backstage and see Octavia waiting for you impatiently
- >"Anonthony! Is this what humans call punctuality? We're on in 15 minutes and you have yet to rehearse."
- >you rehearse with the symphony but they all still treat you like an outsider
- >you set up on the stage, right in the middle so everypone can see their star performer
- >you play along easily, the notes are all single notes or at the same distance across
- >the audience applauds as Octavia approaches a microphone
- >"Ladies and gentlestallions, as I'm sure you know by now, Equestria has a new species residing within it.
- >Through careful observation and conversation with Anonthony, we have determined that his... unique extremities have given him a musical ability unrivaled by anypone. We are pleased to introduce the first human member of the Equestria Orchestra, Anonthony!"
- you wave at the crowd nervously. you can hear hundreds of gasps and monocles dropping as they look at your hand
- >"Anonthony will be performing for us a solo piece from his home planet"
- >launch into Vivaldi's Rite of Spring with motifs of Winter Wrap Up mixed in
- >the crowd is in awe
- >furious applause at the end, which sounds like a stampede
- you look down and see Lyra clapping in the front row as the curtain closes
- >after the curtain closes, a stallion walks away and calls you a freak
- >feelsbadman.jpg
- you ride home on the same carriage with Lyra
- >she does most of the talking about how proud she was of you and how she defended you from people who called you a mutant
- >back at your house
- >Lyra asks "Isn't this where you invite me in for a drink?"
- "You know there's no alcohol in Equestria."
- >"We could make some coffee."
- "Since when do ponies drink coffee?"
- >"Twilight was able to simulate it after reading a science textbook."
- >she gives you a jar labeled "Cofee"
- >you make two cups
- >it's terrible and you stop after a couple of sips
- >Lyra drinks it all, burning her hands on the mug several times.
- >She asks you quite bluntly "So isn't this where the human mating ritual begins?"
- >you say "Lyra, you know my policy. I do not fuck ponies. I think you should leave."
- >she asks to use your bathroom before she leaves
- >you agree but insist she must leave right after and not break anything.
- >she takes like 10 minutes
- >she eventually calls for you "Uh, Anon. Can you come in here?"
- >you wonder what she broke
- >you enter and are shocked to see Lyra standing there with a human body with just a slight tinge of green to her skin
- "What did you do?" you yell at her
- >"I don't know." she responds
- >OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK
- >part of you is freaking out that she's not a pony anymore but part of you secretly enjoys her new human form
- >she thoughtfully wore a light green bra/panty set as part of her "human girlfriend" outfit
- >ignoring how weird that is, you call Twilight using the phone she set up.
- >Twilight's phone goes straight to voicemail saying you should call back during business hours
- >You tell Lyra she can sleep with you for one night, but no sex. She's still technically a p0ne.
- >She says, "Come on, Anon, haven't you always wondered what it's like?"
- >You admit that in any other circumstance, you'd be all over her, but you don't have sex with ponies, even if they're temporarily transformed.
- >she unhooks her bra and asks again
- >don't do this to me, boner.
- >you say no, although she can see you're getting turned on
- >"Ooh, looks like somebody's got a unicorn in their pants."
- >begone, ye lusty temptress
- >she unbuttons your pants and slides down your underwear
- >nononononononono
- >as she grins maniacally, she starts jerking you off with both hands.
- >yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes
- OK, I fuck horses
- >you start fingering her and she squeaks with pleasure
- >both of you start climaxing at the same time
- >You cum into her mouth as she shoots mint scented juices across your arm
- >you sniff the minty goo
- >BUENO
- >you and Lyra fall asleep on your bed
- >when you wake up, Lyra asks if you're going to call Twilight and change her back to a pone
- >she seems depressed that her hands will be gone forever soon
- "I don't know. What happened last night was incredible but this world wasn't meant for humans. Unless you can find an arrangement like mine, it's not something I'd recommend."
- >she asks you not to change her back. She loves having hands and feet.
- >you decide not to call today, hoping she'll change her mind later
- >you go out and check the mailbox
- >Octavia sent you a letter requesting that you become a permanent member of the orchestra
- >you come back inside to find Lyra trying on your shirts and pants
- >"I won't tell her just yet" you think to yourself
- >you realize you left your violin at the opera house
- >"Hey Lyra," you call to her. "I need to go by the opera house. Can you lend me a hand?"
- >she agrees and you walk there, hand in hand.
- END
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