Cumulonimbus (Challenge No.26 winner)

Mountain_Man, May 22, 2013; 16:52 / FB 11071
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>You are Sir Cumulonimbus Incus Cirrostratus, Esquire. You are one of the most culturally refined fluffy ponies in the whole world. Of course, your full name and title is sometimes hard for fluffies to say and remember, so you usually go by 'Cloud'.
>Right now, you are in a strange new place. Never in your lifetime have you been in a place with so many other fluffies. It's not like it was when you were in Smarty's herd; there are a lot of fluffies but no smarty friends. Instead, there's a really pretty human who's kind of like everyfluffy's smarty friend. Humans can't be smarties, can they?
>At any rate, the human brings you and the rest of the fluffies some kind of strange brown nummies every day. they're way better than grassies, but a part of you misses the calming routine of grazing. These kibble nummies are tasty, but there's no excitement of exploring to find them: they're always in the bowl next to the water thingy.
>That water thingy is very interesting to you. You first approached it with some trepidation, for as you know water often has a pronounced negative effect on the well-being of a fluffy pony. Or, as one of your newest friends puts it:
>"Wawa bad fo fwuffies. Pweese, wawas, wet fwuffy dwink!"
>Ah, you remember when you were just as naive as this poor fool. But that was an entire two days ago! Now, you know so much.
>Your new friend is still afraid of the water thingy, and it's up to you to help him understand why it's nothing to be afraid of.
>"No, nuu fwen. Wawas guud fo fwuffies if fwuffy wan dwinkies! See, dwinkies wawa tingy next to nummies pwace, so fwuffies can dwink and num nummies at tha same time!"
>"Buh... buh how fwuffy dwink wawas an no dwown?" the fluffy asks. You wondered that yourself. It seems as though a little science lesson is in order.
>"Wawas onwy come a wittle bit at a time. If fwuffy do wike this..." You take a lick of the water dispenser's moist end. "Yuu get dwinkies. Wawas stay way fwum fwuffy, because guud fwuffies ask wawas be guud."
>It seems that your lesson has earned you the respect of not only the fluffies in your small play place, but of your neighbors as well. They can all tell that you're a very well-educated fluffy. Soon, they ask you to explain more and more of the strange world that surrounds you all.
>"Cwowd! Why sometimes bwight and sometimes nu bwight?" a young fillie asks. It's a good question, and you need to think about it for a moment.
>"See bwight baww in sky?" you ask, pointing to the lamp above the room. "Dat bwight sky baww. Sky baww teww fwuffies when time fo sweepies and when time fo pwaytime!"
>"How sky baww know when time fo sweepies?" the fillie asks.
>"Sky baww know because sky baww wan nummies. When sky baww get tummie owwies, sky baww gu 'way fo git nummies. Den, it nu bwight!"
>Next day, your adoring fluffy fans have more questions for you.
>Where does the human get the nummies she feeds you? "Dewe is big shiny ting next to hooman pwaces. It nuu smeww pwetty, but dewe nummies inside. Day whewe nummies come fwom!"
>How many numbers is the number of leggies a fluffy has? "Wet's count! One... Tuu... Baww... Seben. Seben weggies!"
>If special huggies feel so good, why do we call them our 'no-nos'? "Sometimes, meanie hoomin ow fwuffy wan give huwties to fwuffy special pwace. So, fwuffy say, 'No! No!' an dat why!"
>You love being the smartest fluffy.

>A few days later, a unicorn fluffy in another cage starts making a scene. It looks like that fluffy doesn't like the human-smarty's way of running the herd. You admit, you wish you had more time and space to run around and play, but under the human-smarty's rule there have been significantly fewer drownings than any other smarty you've ever seen.
>The unicorn, though, thinks that he can do a better job of being smarty. Since you arrived in this place, you've seen fluffies leave your place for three different reasons:
>1. Human-smarty puts fluffies in the bigger play place by the window. There, you can wave to all the nice human people outside, and explain to the fluffies what cars are (munstas) and how they work (they run fast. Sometimes they eat humans, but humans don't taste too good so they make sickies and throw them back up later.). Then, the human-smarty brings you back to your cage.
>2. Sometimes, a really nice human comes in, and says that they want to be some lucky fluffy's new mommy or daddy. They decide which one to take by who can give the biggest huggies, so you always try to give the biggest huggies you can! They take a fluffy, sometimes a bunch of fluffies, and leave through the front of the room by the play place.
>3. Sometimes, a fluffy wants to be a new smarty. Unlike the other times, when this happens the fluffy is taken by the human smarty through the door at the back of the room, where new fluffies always come from.
>Today, it makes you sad to see that the new smarty is going out through the back door. One of your new friends asks you "Whewe hoomin smawty take dat fwuffy?"
>"Weww, dat fwuffy is meanie fwuffy. So, hooman smawty wants ta give him big huggies. Den, they find da nicest, pwettiest hoomins fo the fwuffy to have as a mommah and daddeh. Dat meanie fwuffie get wots of huggies an' sketties an' wuv!"
>"But... why they get skettis an' huggies an' wuv if dey is meanie?" a young colt asks. You admit, it didn't make much sense to you at first either.
>"Fwuffy is bad fwuffy, wight? Dat because dat fwuffy nuu know how be guud fwuffy. So, nuu famiwy mus' be guudest famiwy so fwuffy know how be guud! Den, dat fwuffy come back, an' he be diffewent!"
>Sure enough, a few hours later, human-smarty brings the other fluffy back. This time, though, it's a totally different color than it was when it went away. Also, it's not a pegasus. You guess huggies and love are even more powerful than you once thought. All the fluffies are amazed at your cognitive prowess.