Blissful Bites (Herding)

>Ever since you settled down in marshmallow pony land you've found yourself with a growing craving for sweets.
>Particularly the kind that Bon Bon over at Sweetie Drops Candies makes every week.
>The Cakes over at Sugar Cube Corner are good at baking but they just can't hold a muffin to Bon Bon's candy and chocolate.
>This week you decided to try Bon Bon's newest experiment, a spicy chocolate drink.
>You close your eyes and take a sip of the hot coco.
>It's a sweet, yet spicy blend that ever so slightly stings your throat on the way down.
>Somehow Bon Bon even found a way to make it smell like a field of clovers.
>Nifty.
>You hear an all too familiar shattering sound.
>Savoring the pleasant burning sensation briefly you your eyes and survey the carnage.
>Your friend Derpy Hooves is currently splayed out in the center of your living room, having just come bursting through your window yet again.
>Looking at the shards of destroyed window pane decorating your carpet you consider ripping out all your windows and saving yourself the future cleanup.
>You put your cup down on the nearby coffee table and rest your hands in your lap.
>Adopting your best 'Parent attempting to be patient with a unruly child' voice you take a deep breath and address your unexpected guest.
"Hello Derpy."
>The tiny grey pone picks herself up from the pile of shattered wood and glass and looks around for a moment before her eye comes to rest on you.
>"Hi there Anon!"
"I assume there's a good reason you chose to destroy yet another of my windows instead of just using the door today?"
>Derpy looks down at the mess and winces.
>"Sorry about that Anon, I didn't see it and I guess I ran into it."
>Massaging your temples, you feel the onset of an all too familiar headache.
"Don't worry about it, I guess I should be used to it by now.
>Derpy grins sheepishly and attempts to sweep some of the glass behind her with her rear hoof.
"Landing in broken glass and wood can't be pleasant. Are you feeling okay?"
>She quickly checks herself over and does a little shake.
>She looks back at you with a big smile on her face.
>"Don't worry about me Anon, I'm as sturdy and healthy as ever."
>You don't quite hear what she was saying because your attention zeroed in on her rump when she started shaking herself.
>Unf.
"That's... that's good to hear."
>"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, perfectly fine. Why do you ask?"
>Derpy hops up in your lap and presses her forehead to yours.
>"Oh wow! Not only are you a little flushed, but you're burning up too."
>You quickly put your hand on her forehead and gently push her away.
"Yes.. well.. It's just suddenly feeling hot in here is all."
>"Are you sure? Fall is gonna be here soon and I don't want you to get sick because you aren't taking care of yourself."
>You wave your dismissively.
"I'm certain it's nothing."
>"Alright, If you're sure. I'll be upset if you come down with something though."
>Looking back at Derpy, you mutter to yourself.
"Maybe I'll catch a case of 'Dat Ass'"
>Derpy looks up at you in confusion.
>"What'd you say? I couldn't quite hear you."
>You chuckle a bit before continuing.
"Don't worry about it."
>Standing up, you pick up Derpy and head into the kitchen.
>The pony looks around in confusion.
>"Why are we going into the kitchen?"
"We're going in the kitchen so I can grab my broom and start cleaning up the mess you made."
>"Okay, but why am I getting carried under your arm?"
>You grab your broom from over by the fridge and head back into the living room with the pony nestled in the crook of your arm.
"That's because if I'm not carrying you I'm afraid some more of my stuff may decide life is no longer worth living."
>Her ears press flat against her head and you can feel her sag in your arm.
>"I'm sorry Anon, I just wanted to come and spend time with you for a bit."
>Just great.
>She smashes your window into bits and now you feel like the asshole.
"Awww come on Derp, it's no big deal."
>"I still feel bad though."
"Tell you what, why don't you come with me when I head into town?"
>Her ears perk up slightly at the idea.
>"Where are we going?"
>You look around the room trying to find some sort of excuse to make a trip into town.
"Well since it's getting colder out.."
>Your eyes fall upon your rapidly cooling cup of coco.
"I'm about to run out of hot chocolate so I need to go see Bon Bon about another batch."
>"Are you friends with Bon Bon too?"
>Gently resting Derpy in your armchair you go about sweeping up the mess.
"Not really, but I think she's nice though."
>"She is, isn't she? She's such a hard worker too."
"Yep. I can't think of a time when I went into town and she wasn't open for business."
>You stop for a moment and rest your chin on the broom handle.
"Come to think of it, I cant remember a time when I actually saw the shop closed. Why is that?"
>Derpy's face falls and she frowns.
"That's because Bon Bon never takes a day off."
"Wait, what? I know she's a hard worker but I didn't think she worked quite THAT hard."
>"I'm sure she has her... reasons for that."
>You nod your head in agreement as you put the broom back and rummage around for your bit pouch.
"Aha! Found you ya little scamp."
>Grabbing your pouch, you walk back into the living room and once again scoop up Derpy before heading out the door.
>"Whee!"
>The way Derpy sits secured snugly in the crook of your arm reminds you of a large cat.
>Several ponies pointed, snickered, or made a point to be busy as you passed but you paid it no heed.
>They're just jealous they aren't riding the human too.
>The smile plastered to Derpy's face sure didn't hurt the mood any either.
>Part way through the trip you asked Derpy if she wanted you to put her down to which she promptly wrapped her forelegs around your ribs.
>You decided that was a firm "No".
>Eh it much didn't matter anyway. The mail-pone seemed to be quite enjoying the ride.
>Arriving at Sweetie Drops you put (a somewhat reluctant) Derpy down and enter first.
>It was a simple, yet cozy shop.
>There were a few tables over by the display windows and each tabletop was a mahogany color.
>There was a counter along one wall of the shop with a door nearby that presumably led to the kitchen.
>Built into the front of the counter was a small display case filled with cookies and candies.
>Behind the counter was a wall filled with muffins and other various treats.
>Most of the shop's light was provided by the large window next to the tables, but there was also a small fireplace on
the far end of the store.
>Nothing too impressive, just a simple stone lined pit with a vent leading out.
>The door opens with a jingle causing Bon Bon to look up from the counter with a start.
>She quickly rubs a hoof across her eyes and runs around the counter to greet the two of you.
>"Hey Anon, Derpy."
"Morning Bon Bon."
>"Hi Bon Bon!"
>That's odd, for a second there you were certain her eyes looked kind of red and tired.
>It had to be a trick of the light or something.
>"What brings you guys here today?"
"I tried the hot chocolate you made the other day and it was pretty good. Do you have any more laying around?"
>Her brow furrows in thought for a moment before she nods.
>"Yes, I'm sure I do. Business hasn't been that good as of late anyway."
>Derpy pipes up from behind you.
>"What do you mean it's not doing well? Just the other day you told me things were going great."
>You can see the sweat-drop form on Bon Bon's head so you cough into your hand distracting Derpy.
"Yes..well I'm sure she meant to say that things have been kinda slow today... but pretty decent overall."
>Bon Bon looks up at you with a small smile on her face.
>"Thanks for clearing that up, that's exactly what I meant to say."
>You nod and motion towards the register.
"Now that that's all straightened out how about we see to some of that chocolate I came here for?"
>The three of you walk over to the register and Bon Bon hops back behind the counter.
>She rummages for something underneath.
>A moment later she pokes her head over the counter dropping a small beige fabric bag adorned with a blue & pink ribbon.
>"Here you go Anon, this is for you."
>You eye the bag quizzically for a moment noting the interesting coloration before taking it off the counter.
"Thanks Bonny, what do I owe ya?"
>She pauses a moment at the nickname, her mouth agape and face flushing slightly.
>"Ah..I-It's on the house, a thank-you for my best customer."
>Looking around you begin to wonder if you and Derpy are her ONLY customers.
>As you go to ask Bon Bon about the distinct lack of customers, Derpy rubs herself across your legs making a adorable whining sound.
>"Anooonnn what about me?"
>You look down and stare right into the dreaded Watering Filly Eyes Of Doom.
>Scratching the mail-pone's head you chuckle.
"Alright, alright. I'll get you something too, just go easy on me with those eyes alright?
>She squees and hops around a bit before pointing at a chocolate chip cookie with blue icing stars on it.
"You want the cookie? I thought for certain that you were gonna ask for a muffin or something."
>She holds her hoof to her mouth in mock offense.
>"how could you?"
"What?"
>"A lady has to watch her figure you know. I can't just eat muffins all day or I'd lose this wonderful shape of mine."
>With that she slaps herself on the flank causing it to jiggle slightly.
>You bit your lower lip slightly and have to mentally stop yourself from grabbing a handful of pony flank.
>No brain, not now.
>We'll save that image for later.
>Bon Bon coughs from behind the register reminding you that the two of you aren't alone.
>"Anyway... that'll come to two bits for the cookie guys."
>You reach into your pocket and grab a handful of bits.
>Pausing for a moment you look around at how full the shelves and racks are and then place your hand on the counter.
"Hey Bonny?"
>The mare looks from your hand to your face.
>"What's up?"
"Since today has been such a slow day why don't you close up shop early and come over to my place?"
>The mare looks around in confusion before looking back up at you.
>"Huh? wait, me?"
"You're the only Bonny here that I'm aware of."
>>You look around like your pretending to search for another Bon Bon.
"Do you have a sister I don't know about?"
>Bon Bon gives you a deadpan stare.
>Derpy tugs on your pant leg.
>"Why do you want her to close up early?"
>You hand over the cookie Bon Bon placed on the counter, distracting her yet again.
"Shhh.."
>Turning back to Bon Bon you continue.
"I'm just gonna take a shot in the dark here, but I get the feeling today's been a bit of an off day for you.
>Frowning, Bon Bon nods her head.
>"You could say something like that I suppose."
"I figured that you and Derpy here could come have dinner over at my place."
>Derpy clings to your leg fiercely and resumes eating her cookie.
"Judging by the loss of feeling in my leg I take it Derpy is up for the idea. What say you?"
>She takes a deep breath and looks apprehensive for a moment .
>"Are you sure I wont be a bother? I mean the last thing I want to do is make you go out of your way for somepony like me."
>You raise an eyebrow and glare down at the tiny pone.
"Somepony like me?"
>When did she start thinking badly about herself?
"You hush up right now young lady."
>"But Anon, I-"
"Ah! What did I just say?"
>"But!"
"No buts."
>You raise your hand off of the counter top and reveal a small pile of bits.
>Bon Bon's eyes widen.
>"That's like thirty bits! Why are you paying so much?"
"Close up shop as soon as you can and get your tiny flank over to my house. I'll make sure to show you a damn good night."
>Scooping up Derpy you turn and walk out of the store leaving a bewildered Bon Bon behind.
>As you walk through the town a idea comes to mind.
>You pull the cookie munching pony out from your arm and hold her at eye level.
>"Mmpfh?"
"What's up with Bonny?"
>"What do you mean?"
"Didn't you see how her shop looked?"
>"Yeah, it was pretty well stocked. Why?"
"It's the middle of the afternoon. She should have had a lot less stock."
>You pause for a moment, unsure if you should continue.
"Also... why did she look like she was crying before we walked in?"
>Derpy looks contemplative for a moment before answering.
>"You know what they say about me right?"
"I'm not following you."
>"Ponies whisper behind my back and snicker at me when I pass. They think I'm stupid just because my eyes don't work the way they should."
"Hey now, I don't think you're stupid."
>"No Anon, not you. That's why I like you."
>Derpy nuzzles against your arm before continuing.
>"You see, people think I'm stupid and don't pay attention to what going on.
"Okayyy..."
"Because of that they have no problem gossiping around me."
"I'm not entirely sure where you're going with this, but alright."
>"If it's what I think it is, Bon Bon is down because her herd split up a few days ago and she's still blaming herself for it."
"Why would she be blaming herself?"
>"I can't be absolutely certain since it was just hearsay, but I think it has something to do with her not wanting to leave her roommate Lyra behind."
"So what, the herd wanted to move out of Ponyville and she didn't want to leave Lyra here alone?"
>"That's what I think anyway."
"Hmm... that would explain a bit I suppose. No time like the present to fix that huh?"
>You tuck Derpy back under your arm and continue home with a newfound sense of purpose.

>Arriving at your front door you quickly look to the left and then to the right before putting Derpy down on the door mat.
"I'm gonna need you to sit right here until I get back and do not move.
>"Huh? where are you going?"
"I"m just gonna run around to the back of the house and see if I can set something up real quick.
>"But why do I have to stay here?"
"Because I want this to be a surprise for everyone."
>"Oh... alright. Please don't be gone for too long."
>You ruffle her mane a bit and elicit a small giggle out of her.
>"Hey, that tickles!"
>Satisfied that her mane is suitably fluffed, you jog around the side of your house and head for your shed.
>You don't really know what you have in there but you made a point to hold on to any materials used in one of Twilight's weird experiments.
>You are certain that you have that one important piece though.
>Considering how many times Twilight tried to capture you in a net you should have several laying around actually.
>You rummage through the pile and come across exactly what you were looking for and even a little something extra.
>You quickly rig up your idea and step back to survey the result.
>You nod your head in approval at your jury-rigged display.
"This should work just fine for the girls."
>Girls.
>Oh shit that's right. You knew you were forgetting something.
>You quickly jog back around to the front and find Derpy still sitting where you placed her. Good.
"Alright Private Derps, I've got a very important job I need you to do."
>Derpy stands at attention and gives you a mock salute.
>"Sir yes sir, Mr. Anon sir."
"Since you can get around faster than I can I need you to go and fly over to where Lyra is and invite her along too."
>"Lyra?"
"Well, yeah. I don't want Bonny feeling like she left her friend out of the fun. Besides, for what I have planned tonight we're gonna need an extra set of hooves."
>"I don't quite understand what you're talking about but I'll go let her know."
"Good girl, now get going. I have a lot of work to finish and not a lot of time before Bonny shows up."
>"What do I do if Lyra says she doesn't want to come?"
>You remember how down Bon Bon had looked earlier.
>Standing as tall as you can, you plant your feet together and salute Derpy.
>"You have your orders private Derps. Go get Lyra, drag her back here if you have to."
>Derpy salutes once again and takes off leaving you alone to focus on the task ahead.
>Unlocking your door you head inside and take stock of what you have to cook a meal with.
>Just a couple of drinks, some snacks, and half a box of cereal.
>You really have to get on top of this 'weekly meal planning' thing you've heard about.
>Oh well, Pizza Pony it is then.

>You're glad that you managed to have Twilight bring your TV, DVD player and movie collection over.
>When you found out that it was possible for her to bring small objects over you hugged her so hard, you almost broke the purple pone's spine.
>You haven't really seen much of her since she rigged your stuff to run off of magic instead of electricity.
>Something about having more research to do on moving larger objects across or some such.
>Whatever she's managed to engross herself in, you're glad she was able to help you out.
>You hear a tentative knock at your door breaking you out of your thoughts.
>That must be Bon Bon.
>You open the door to find a very nervous looking Bon Bon standing on your doorstep with a bag by her feet.
>"Hi Anon, I thought I would bring over some cookies and that hot chocolate you said you liked."
"Awesome, you're the best Bonny."
>The corner of Bon Bon's mouth twitches up in the briefest smile.
>Stepping to the side, you wave her in.
"Why don't you come inside and put them on the kitchen counter with the rest of the snack stuffs. Sorry about the limited selection, you're the first pony I've had to entertain since I got here."
>Bon Bon looks up at you in puzzlement.
>"Really?"
>Shrugging your shoulders, you nod.
"Pretty much. I'm not really that sociable."
>The two of you step into the kitchen and then you give her a tour of your house.
>It's not a big house, but with it being just you there was never really a need for much space.
>"Am I really the first pony you've had over as company Anon?"
"Well there is Derpy, but she doesn't really count as company since she kind of just barrels through my windows on a near-daily basis."
>"Is that why there's a screen where your front window should be?"
"Yep. It's much easier to reattach Velcro than it is to buy a new window."
>"What's Velcro?"
"Velcro is this spiky fabric stuff back where I'm from that you can separate and stick back together again."
>"That's pretty convenient."
"It's cheaper too. I just wish there was a way to keep the drafts out when It gets cold at night."
>"I can see how that would be a problem. Do you have a fireplace?"
"A fireplace huh? that's a nice idea. Too bad this tiny house doesn't quite have the space for it right now."
>"Maybe one day you'll be able to get one put in. They're really convenient."
"How do you figure? I mean, I get the whole heat part and roasting marshmallows, but what else?"
>"You roast marshmallows in a fire place?"
"I don't know how things go here usually but I used to do it back home all the time."
>"Well here they're great for snuggling up with a special somepony and..."
>Bonny's face falls and she trails off mid sentence.
>Before you can say anything to bring back the happy mood, you hear a loud scream followed by two blurs flying through your Velcro'd window.
>Bon Bon dives under a chair as a very dizzy Lyra and Derpy come sliding to a halt in your living room.
>After waiting a few moments Bon Bon lifts her head out of her hooves and approaches the tangled pile of pony.
>"Lyra? What are you doing here?"
>Lyra pulls one of Derpy's legs out of her mouth and looks up at Bon Bon.
>"Anon sent Derpy over to...invite me. She said that he was planning some sort of party and wanted us both to be here."
>You take a moment to help separate the pony pile and pat Derpy on the head for a job well done.
"Well now that everyone is here what say we go in the living room and pop on a few movies while we wait for the pizza to arrive?"

>The girls pile onto your couch leaving you to sit on the floor and thumb through your CD binder.
>After looking around for a bit you settle on Pumpkinhead and pop it into the DVD player.
"Hope you girls are in the mood for something scary because I picked a old favorite of mine."
>Bon Bon looks at you inquisitively.
"It's a movie from when I was a kid called Pumpkinhead."
>"Pumpkin..head?"
"Yup. It's always been a favorite way of mine to welcome in the fall."
>"I dunno Anon.. I mean, I'm pretty good with scary stuff but Lyra gets scared easily."
>The teal pony stands up on the cushion and puts her hooves on her hips.
>"I do not."
"Don't worry about it, the whole purpose of scary movies is to get scared."
>Lyra snorts and goes to say something but at the same time the MGM lion pops up on the screen.
>The lion's roar causes Lyra to jump behind the couch and hide.
>Chuckling, you pull a flushed Lyra out from behind the couch.
"Don't worry about it, that thing always gets me too if I'm not expecting it."
>Lyra just 'hmphs' and crawls back onto the couch causing the other girls to laugh.
>The movie has been playing for a bit and the girls are all sitting on the edge of the couch.
>Just as Pumpkinhead appears there is a loud bang at the front door causing all of the girls to scream and pile on you.
>Laughing, you fall over as the ponies cling to you in terror.
"Easy there girls. It's just the pony from Pizza Pony."
>Despite multiple cries of protest you pull yourself out of the pile and go answer the door.
>A little while later you place the pizza on the table and invite the girls to come eat.
>Having forgotten the couch, all of the ponies are now sitting on the floor and leaning on you in some fashion.
>You could get used to this.
>Now that the pizza is all gone, the movie has ended, and Lyra has sworn to never set foot in pumpkin patches again you decide that it's time for phase two of your plan.

>Excusing yourself from the cuddle pile you get up and head out the back door.
>After a minute or so you pop your head back in and tell the girls to follow.
>The ponies look at each other in confusion for a moment before following you.
>Once the girls have all entered the back yard you grab a ball and bump it over the net at Bon Bon.
"Heads up Bonny!"
>Frantically the pony looks around before smacking the ball back up into the air.
"Good, now hit it back over to me!"
>Before Bon Bon can hit the ball Lyra catches it in her magic and launches it back over the net at you.
>Deftly catching the ball you cross your arms and frown at Lyra.
"Uh-uh, no magic allowed."
>"I don't even know what you're doing."
"This is a game from back home called Volleyball. Now try to hit the ball back over to me again without magic."
>Lyra has a bit of difficulty but manages to get the ball back over the net after a few tries.
"Good good! Now Bonny get over here and Derpy you're with Lyra over there."
>Bon Bon walks over to your side and looks up at you.
>Smiling, you crouch down and scratch behind her ear.
"Don't worry about winning or anything, just try to have fun okay? After all, you're the guest of honor tonight."
>Bon Bon looks too distracted by ear scritches to say much of anything.
>You stop scratching her ear and Bon Bon looks around in confusion.
>"Huh? what did you say?"
"Just try to have some fun tonight."
>The mare nods and you quickly give everyone a rough explanation of how volleyball is played.
>The four of you play until the sun sets and you have to call the game on account of not being able to see the ball anymore.
>Derpy flies up to eye level with you.
>"Wow Anon, *huff* that was pretty *huff* fun."
"You okay? You're looking really wiped."
>"I'm alright, just exhausted."
"Maybe we should call it a night then."
>"Alright Anon, I'll see you later."
>With that Derpy gives you a big hug and flies off.
>Looking down at the other two panting ponies, you smile at how well the night turned out.
"Alright ladies, it looks the show is coming to a close."
>Bon Bon plops down on the ground and looks up at you.
>"You were right, that was pretty fun. Thank you for having me over."
>"Yeah Anon, this was pretty intense."
"C'mon guys, lemmie walk you two beautiful mares home."
>The two mares chuckle and quickly follow you.
>After walking for a short while you come to their house.
>Crouching down you give Bon Bon another ear scritch.
"Thanks for coming by Bonny. We should do it again sometime."
>"Sure thing Anon, I'd love to come see you again."
>Waving goodbye you head down the road and try to figure out what you'll eat for breakfast tomorrow.

>You are Bon Bon.
>You are also having the best night you've had in quite some time.
>You weren't really sure how things were gonna go as you headed over to Anon's house but you're really glad that you took the chance instead of staying at the shop.
>It didn't hurt that he gave you more bits than you've made all week.
>And those ear scritches.
>It was like a tiny trip to heaven whenever he did that.
>You're not ever gonna tell him that though.
>Ever.
>With a sad smile you watch as Anon quickly fades from sight.
>"Tell me you aren't."
>Having forgotten your friend was still outside with you, you quickly turn around and try to hide your embarrassment.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
>The mare raises an eyebrow and stares at you causing you to fidget uncomfortably.
>"Don't even try to deny it. I can already see it written all over your face.
"Huh?"
>"You're interested in him aren't you?"
>You break into a smile at the thought of more ear scritches and hide your face in your hooves.
>You may manage to hide your face, but you fail to suppress a squee from escaping.
>"Sweet Celestia, you're really smitten with him."
"What? No I'm not."
>Lyra just pats you on the head and walks inside.
>"I'm going to bed, see you later."
"Lyra! I am not smitten!"

>The next few days pass without incident or world ending calamities.
>Having not seen Twilight in some time you decide you would go check on the book horse and make sure she didn't blow herself up again.
>Stepping outside you inhale deeply and start coughing.
>Holy shit that air was cold.
>Pulling your sweater closer around yourself, you resume your journey.
>The walk passes uneventfully and you quickly find yourself standing in front of Twilight's treebrary.
>You knock on the door once and are answered by a loud explosion as the ground briefly shakes.
>Forgetting etiquette, you throw open the door and rush into the house expecting to see it in flames or something.
>You're met with a bewildered looking spike standing in the center of the entryway.
>"Hey there Anon, whats up?"
"Sorry for just barging in here little buddy, but when I heard the boom I was worried that your house was blowing up or something."
>The little dragon waves his claw dismissively.
"Nah, she's been doing experiments down in the basement for the last few days. It's been like this every day at all hours of the night too."
>Stooping down to eye level with the dragon you notice that he looks like he hasn't slept well in a week.
>Come to think of it, that was around the last time you visited Twilight too.
"I'll go talk to Twilight and see if I can get her to go easy on the sciency stuff late at night."
>"Thanks man, you're the best."
>You pat Spike on the head and head over to the basement door.
>You know that by opening this door you're stepping into the fright filled realm of SCIENCE!
>Not to be confused with regular science mind you.
>SCIENCE! usually ends up with you wishing you had stayed home instead.
>Taking a deep breath, you gather your courage and enter the stairwell to Twilight's lab.
>The stairwell is dark and there are plumes of smoke floating around.
>Waving your hand in front of your face to clear some of the air, you call out to announce your presence.
>The last time you entered her lab unexpectedly you accidentally messed up an experiment and got set on fire in the process.
>You aren't keen on a repeat performance.
"Hey Twiggles! You still alive down there?"
>There is a crash followed by a yelp
>"Who's there?"
"How many people call you Twiggles?"
>There is a moment of silence before you hear Twilight giggle.
>"About as many that use the word 'people'."
"I'm coming down, try not to blow up the place any more alright?"
>"I make no promises."
>Atta girl.
>Since you started helping her with her experiments Twilight has started loosening up around you and sometimes even makes a joke.
>While you make your way down the stairs Twilight busies herself with magicing up a few lights and trying to clear away some of the clutter.
"So what were you doing down here anyway? Poor dragon dude looks like he hasn't slept well in days."
>Twilight grins sheepishly and stares at the floor.
>"Oh.. I uh guess I did it again huh?"
"Looks that way."
>"I'll have to make it up to Spike later."
>Twilight claps her forelegs together and cheers.
>"You've got perfect timing!"
"I know I'm going to regret this, but why do I have perfect timing?"
>"There have been reports of changeling sightings in the Everfree forest and I need somepony's help to go investigate."
>You know exactly how this is going to end, but damnit you aren't going to make it easy for her.
"Let me guess... you need the big, scary, human to protect you from the mean old changelings?"
>Twilight walks over and starts rubbing herself on your legs like a cat.
>You fall back onto the floor in surprise.
"What the hell Twiggles?"
>Putting her front hooves on your collar she gives you bedroom eyes and slowly bats her lashes at you.
>"Pleeease Anon? It would me sooo much to me if a big, handsome, stallion like yourself would keep me company."
>You lay flat on the floor and raise your arms in the air in a mock surrender.
"Alright, alright, you win. Just take it easy on my heart will ya?"
>So much for not making it easy for her.
>What the hell was that anyway?
>Twilight looks incredibly pleased with herself before walking over to a nearby table and rummaging about.
>You pick yourself up and try to put the image of her behavior out of your mind for the moment.
>You'll be saving that memory for... later too.
"What was all that about anyway?"
>"Hmm?"
"You know as well as I do that I'd have ended up going along anyway."
>"Yes, and?"
"You didn't need to act all.."
>Twilight giggles into her hoof for a bit and then turns to face you wearing the bedroom eyes again.
>"Sexy?"
"Agh! Yes, that!."
>"I may not be the center of attention like some ponies, but I still like to show off once in a while."
>You sigh and shake your head.
"Stupid sexy bookhorse..."
>Twilight smiles and bats her eyelashes again.
>"What was that Anon? I didn't quite hear you over how sexy I am."
>Not planning on letting her have all the fun you walk over and kneel in front of her.
>"What's up?"
>BOOP.
>Twilight was not prepared for this and scrunches her face while somehow turning a deeper shade of purple.
>"Now that's just not fair."
"So how are we going to get to this forest exactly?"
>Twilight smiles proudly and looks you dead in the eye.
>Oh no.
>No no no.
>You know that face.
>That's the SCIENCE! face.
>"Silly Anon, we're going by the power of SCIENCE!"
>Called it.
>With that Twilight throws a glass vial onto the ground and a large floating circle of neon green flames appears.
"Nuh-uh. I know what you're going to say and I'm not doing it."
>Twilight grabs your arm and tries to pull you toward the circle of fire.
>"Please? C'mon."
>You try to pull your arm away but the tiny mare has it locked in a death grip.
"I don't know if you remember the last time you were experimenting with fire?"
>"Was that when you were dancing?"
"Yes. That was when I decided it would be fun to dance while on fire."
>"Awww c'mon, it wasn't that bad."
"I was crispy for a week!"
>"It was funny to watch though."
"A week!"
>You fruitlessly try to shake Twilight off of your arm.
"Floating ring of fire. Fire bad."
>"I know you're still unhappy about the whole burning thing but you're the only one I can count on."
>You sigh, pick up Twilight, and take several steps back from the portal.
>She got you with the guilt trip of all things.
>"Anon what are you doing?"
>You know you're going to regret this and many things later, but if you're gonna do this it's gonna be your way.
>"Anon don't do it."
"Damn it all!"
>"Wait! listen to me for a sec-"
>Letting out a war cry you charge and do a running dive into the portal.
>And crash headfirst into a tree, dropping Twilight and knocking yourself for a loop.
>Clutching your head, you curl into the fetal position and lay on the ground wishing the world would stop ringing.
>Having picked the last few errant leaves out of her mane, twilight turns to you wearing a face full of 'I tried to tell you'.
>"You know you didn't need to jump through the portal right?"
>You just groan in response.
>"I mean they were directly connected. You could have just stepped through like normal."
>The ringing in your head has finally started to die down but twilight just wont come off it.
>"You really need to learn to listen to me when I'm talking to you."
>Standing up, you try to brush the dirt and leaves off of your person but give up after a few tries.
>You'll just have to toss your clothes in the wash later.
>"Are you even listening to me Anon?"
"Huh, what?"
>"See? This is exactly what I'm talking about."
>There is a rustle in the nearby bushes that draws your attention away from the lecturing pony.
"Twilight I really think we shou-"
>"No! We're not doing anything until you listen to me."
>There is a second rustle coming from behind you.
"Now is really not the time, we have to get going."
>Twilight stomps her hoof completely oblivious to the movement in the brush.
>"I want to find the changelings as much as you do but we aren't going anywhere until I'm sure you'll follow proper safety protocols."
>You hear rustling coming from all around you now.
>You kneel down to eye level with the ranting pony and roughly grab her head between your hands causing her eyes to widen in shock.
>"Anon, wha-what are you..."
>As twilight's voice trails off you see wolf-like creatures made of wood and brambles creep out of the bushes.
>You yell for twilight to get a move on as you take off with the speed of fifty Kenyans.
>Just as you clear the group of wolves you notice Twilight isn't with you.
>Turning around you see that the tiny bookhorse has curled up in a ball, paralyzed with fear.
>You stand there for a moment uncertain before you toss self preservation out the window, rip a branch off a nearby tree, and run towards Twilight.
>Zeroed in on Twilight, the closest wolf doesn't notice you until it's too late and by then you've already brought your makeshift club down on it's head with a hearty crack.
>Seeing you as a threat now, the wolves ignore Twilight and start advancing towards you.
>Smacking wolves in the head left and right you call out to twilight.
"Get moving you stupid pony!"
>Twilight lifts her head and looks at you with tears streaming down her face.
>"Anon? What do I do?"
"What do you mean 'what do I do'!?"
>You drop to a knee as a wolf manages to land a solid bite on your thigh.
>Bringing your club down on it's head again and again you unsteadily pull yourself back to your feet.
"Run you fucking idiot!"
>"But what about you!?"
"If I get eaten because you were too stupid to run and get help I'm going to spend the rest of eternity haunting your ass!"
>You try to take a step back and feel yourself bump into the trunk of a tree.
>Not only are you vastly outnumbered, but they've got you backed against a wall now.
>"There are too many! I can't outrun them all!"
"You have wings for fuck's sake. FLY!"
>"Anon I-I'm sorry!"
"Just go!"
>With a loud sob twilight takes flight and quickly vanishes from sight.
>The wolves are slowly inching ever closer.
>You chuckle at the absurdity of a stray thought that enters your mind.
(I wonder how Bon Bon will take the news of my death? And poor Derpy too, I bet she'll be crushed.)
>Is this what they mean about your life flashing before your eyes before you die?
>Your life is Bon Bon and Derpy?
>It's a shame you coudln't do more with the two of them.
>Hang on a sec.
>Are you just gonna give up and let these things eat you?
>No.
>No way in hell are you gonna be plant food.
>Bon Bon wants to sit in front of a fireplace again and you're damn sure gonna see it happen.
>Steadying your nerves, you take a deep breath.
"When I get out of here I'm turning your twiggy asses into firewood!"
>Hefting your makeshift club you bring it down on the head of the nearest wolf stunning it and shattering your weapon in the process.
"Raaagh!"
>Refusing to be stopped now, you grab the stunned wolf by the head and swing it at another wolf knocking it against a tree.
"You hear me fuckers!?"
>You throw your improvised bludgeon into the next closest group of wolves knocking them down.
"Firewood!"
>With a decent space opened before you, you bolt out of the area as fast as your legs can carry you.
>You don't know where you're heading or even which direction is out of these infernal woods, but you need to keep running.
>You're getting tired and you keep catching glimpses of the wolves in the woods to either side of you.
>You don't want to admit it but you know they're herding you in a particular direction.
>By now the sun has fallen and the forest is illuminated by beams of moonlight.
>You hope twilight managed to get away safely.
>You can no longer clearly see the wolves in all the shadow and you're exhausted.
>Every muscle in your body is screaming at you right now.
>Twice you stumbled and almost fell in the dirt.
>Why do you have to be so weak against these confounded ponies?
>Up ahead you see a clearing and then a break in the tree line.
>If you can just make it through the wolves and get to the other side of the clearing you're home free.
>Piece of cake.
>Right?
>You run into the clearing and it's like a scene from an old action movie.
>The moonlight illuminates the clearing in a sinister glow while scores of wolves burst through the brush line.
>Stepping into the center of the clearing is the largest wolf you have ever seen.
>This thing is almost as large as you are.
>No cake for you today it seems.
>The wolves form a large circle around the clearing trapping you in a ring with the giant wolf.
>"Such a fierce creature you are."
>Holy shit the wolf is talking.
>"Tell me creature, I see you walk upon two legs but you are no Minotaur. What are you?"
>You live in a land of talking, magic, mini-horses. This stuff really shouldn't come off as a surprise anymore.
"I am the only human in Equestria."
>"Well human you put up a good fight, but I'm afraid that it is all going to come to an end here."
"I don't think so."
>The wolf lets out a deep chuckle.
>"Oh? Please do tell me why you think that."
>Your thoughts travel back to Bon Bon and Derpy.
"Because when I get out of here I'm gonna go see a pretty pony!"
>Letting out a battle cry you charge forward and uppercut the wolf in the jaw.
>The wolf rears back more in surprise than in pain but you take the opening and punch it in the chest.
>You shake your hand in pain.
>Apparently punching things made of wood caused your soft fleshy bits to hurt.
>Who would have guessed?
>The wolf snarls and takes a step back.
>"That hurt human."
>You frantically look around for anything that can be used as an improvised weapon.
>Your eyes fall on a uprooted tree that looks just thick enough to work.
>"I was planning on taking you as a hostage since you were seen with the Princess of friendship, but now I've reconsidered."
"Well good for you."
>When the wolf lunges you throw yourself to the ground.
>It sails right over you giving you enough time to scramble over to the fallen tree and hoist it up like a two handed club.
>Thousands of years ago your great ancestor Anons were in the same situation and they persevered.
>Many, many thousands of years ago primordial Anon faced down saber tooth tigers for his dinner.
>Not quite as many thousands of years ago your ancestor Anon the Hun raised hell in Europe and Asia.
>Hundreds of years ago your great ancestor Captain Anonymous Ahab hunted the great white whale.
>Dozens of years ago your crazy ancestor Anonymous 'the ripper' hunted in the foggy streets of London
>Granted he kinda went off the deep end, but he had balls.
>Come to think of it, all of your ancestors were kinda off weren't they?
>Maybe it's hereditary?
>You stare the wolf down, determination flooding your veins.
>"Have you any last words before you die human?"
"Only this, beast."
>The wolf tilts it's head.
>"Tell me so that I may have them inscribed upon your grave."
"I come from a long line of buttfuck crazy and I'm going to hang your head over my new fireplace."
>The wolf falters back a step as if uncertain.
>Why is the fleshy creature not afraid?
>Why isn't it running like the ponies do?
>Why is it getting more courageous?
>Everything about this is wrong.
>Adrenalin revitalizing your body, you plant your club into the ground and let out a yell.
>You and the wolf charge each other simultaneously.
>Savage blows are exchanged by both sides and it is unclear who will make the telling misstep first.
>Your favorite sweater is in tatters, your muscles burn, you're bleeding heavily, and you feel like you're could collapse from exhaustion at any second.
>To top it off that last swipe from the wolf caused your poor tree club to snap in half.
>However you notice that the wolf isn't fairing much better you.
>It has a heavy limp on one side, there are splotches of your blood across it's face, and it's panting heavily for air.
>No matter how bad the wolf may be faring you're still up shit creak and your paddle just got shredded.
>Wait a second.
>Why would a plant be panting for air?
>You know what?
>Fuck it.
>If your great ancestor Anons can crazy so can you.
>This plan is completely fucking crazy, but it's all you've got.
>Rolling your right sleeve all the way up to your armpit, you thrust up your exposed arm and shout.
"I am Anonymous and you shall know why humanity is the top predator!"
>Meeting your challenge head on the wolf lunges forth, mouth open wide to deliver the killing blow.
>And is promptly met by your fist ramming straight down it's throat.
>The wolf clamps it's jaws down on your shoulder trying to shred your arm but the sweater is just thick enough to stop the fangs from puncturing into your flesh.
>Nodding your head in a silent thanks to the late grandma Anon, you grab hold of the back of the wolf's neck and lodge your arm in place.
"It's you or me bitch"
>The wolf frantically claws at your side but you feel it's blows getting weaker.
>As the minutes drag on the wolf finally sags to the ground no longer able to support itself.
>Not trusting that this isn't a trick you hold your arm in place until a bright green glow encompasses the wolf.
>Now that the wolf is glowing you rip your arm out of there like it's on fire.
>For all you know it may be setting itself on fire.
>When the glow finally recedes you find yourself staring down at a large black bug-horse-thing.
"Aww come on, what the fuck is this shit?"
>Thinking back for a moment an idea comes to mind.
>This is probably one of those changeling things Twilight was talking about before.
>Since this one was the biggest it's probably some boss changeling or something.
>You notice that while you stand near the fallen bug-horse none of the others attempt to come close.
>Hmm...
>Maybe they're worried about the safety of their leader?
>You just throat fisted a giant tree wolf into unconsciousness so what can one more crazy idea hurt.
>Hoisting the bug-horse over your shoulder, you make for the wolves blocking off the exit of the forest.
>After a moment of hesitation they part allowing you to walk through unmolested.
>For what feels like an hour you walk towards the lights of Ponyville.
>You wonder what happened to Twilight.
>Since the bug thing mentioned using you as a hostage you guess that means they didn't get to grab her too.
>Doing your best not to be seen, you creep through the darkness until you reach your house.
>You figure the only thing stopping those creatures from ganging up on you was your newfound hostage so you should probably keep it until you figure something out.
>Quickly going inside, you unceremoniously drop the creature onto your couch.
>Putting your hand on it's throat you feel a pulse and nod your head in satisfaction.
>Certain that it won't be getting up any time soon you lock up your house and head over to Twilight's.
>Hopefully she'll be there.

>The sun is starting to crest the horizon so you know it won't be long until Celestia brings it up in all it's retina searing glory.
>You feel like Death hit you with a Mac truck, but you know if you sleep before seeing Twilight she'll probably have the entire town combing the forest for you.
>You may have made it out of there mostly intact, but the rest of the townsponies don't have a hostage to keep them -relatively- safe.
>Come to think of it, you should probably find some way to keep your 'hostage' from trying to kill you in your sleep.
>Maybe you'll tell Twilight about it and see what she plans to do with any changelings that were captured.
>Standing outside the treebrary, you tentatively knock on the door and hear the unmistakable sound of wailing coming from inside.
>Not wasting time with a second knock, you yank open the door to find Twilight pooled on the floor sobbing while Spike runs around in circles panicking.
"Twilight! What's wrong?"
>Twilight looks up at you, the grief on her face is quickly replaced with relief.
>"You're alive!"
>walking over to Twilight, you kneel and hug the puffy-faced pony close.
"Shhh... it's okay now."
>She sobs quietly into your shoulder.
>"I sent a letter to Princess Celestia asking her to send soldiers to rescue you but..."
>You have a feeling you know where this is going.
"But?"
>"But she said that with the recent changeling increase she couldn't spare any ponies to help."
"Ouch."
>"I thought about asking the girls for help but with half of them out of town we would only end up needing to be rescued ourselves."
>Twilight sniffles and buries her face harder into your shoulder.
>The shoulder that was just very intimate with a set of giant jaws.
>Ouch.
>"If everypony needed to look for two groups it would just end up making everything harder and nobody would get saved.
"Yeah, I can kinda see that happening."
>"I was so worried that you were hurt or..worse, I didn't know what to do."
>You wince as you slowly peel the trembling pony off and stand up.
>Twilight looks up at you like she's just noticing the condition you're in.
>"Forget about me, what happened to you!?"
>You shrug your shoulders doing your best to downplay the whole situation.
"Eh, you know me. I'm always getting into some kind of scrape right?"
>You can see that Twilight isn't buying it.
>"Spike! Anon is hurt badly, go get the first-aid kit now!"
>The little dragon goes to run off but you call out before he can get too far
"Wait spike! I know it looks bad but I'm alright. I just need to get home and rest a bit."
>"Are you sure? You heard what Twilight said."
>You try to smile reassuringly at Spike.
"Don't worry about Twiggles, I look much worse than I feel."
>With that Spike just shrugs and mumbles something about going back to bed.
>Twilight scowls at you.
>"Listen Anon, I really think you should see some medical attention for all those injuries."
>She pauses for a moment.
>"It's obvious you're hurt, but how DID you manage to get away?
>You quickly give her a brief rundown of your adventure in the forest.
"So yeah, I was herded into a clearing with a giant wolf and clubbed it in the head with a tree until it stopped moving."
>No need to tell Twilight how you pulled a crazy stunt like shoving your unprotected arm into the mouth of a predator.
>You're certain that would only earn you yet another lecture.
>"A giant timberwolf? There is a giant timberwolf in the woods?"
"Is that what those things are called?"
>"A giant timberwolf is an anomaly. What if it was a changeling?"
"Huh?"
>Twilight looks at you like you just grew a second head.
>"If it was a changeling you would have almost certainly died."
"Oh."
>You give her your best shit eating grin.
"But I'm here now so I guess it worked out alright enough."
>You snap your fingers and then look down at Twilight.
"You know, you never did tell me what you were gonna do with those changeling things if you did manage to catch one."
>"Well that's easy."
"Hmm?"
>"We would have tossed it in the dungeon until it either starved or Chrysalis surrendered herself."
>Wait, did she say starved?
>As in starved to death?
"What... do you mean by 'starved'?
>"Changelings feed on emotions, you know that."
"Go on."
>"If a changeling is denied it's food source naturally it would wither away."
"And..."
>"And what?"
"And die?"
>"Don't feel sympathy for them Anon, they're parasites and will suck the life out of you without a moment of concern."
>Something about what Twilight is saying doesn't sit right with you.
>You can't quite place it, but something's just... off.
"Right, moving on."
>Twilight looks at you expectantly.
>"Was there something else you wanted to know?"
"What, or rather who is this Chrysalis you spoke of?"
>"Chrysalis, or rather, Queen Chrysalis is the ruler of all the changelings in Equestria."
>So the ruler is a she.
"What's she look like?"
>"She's much larger than the other changelings, almost as tall as you I think."
"So shes pretty tall, go on."
>"She doesn't have fur like normal ponies, she's covered in this black shell stuff."
"Kinda like a bug?"
>"Exactly!"
"So she's a big, pony shaped, bug?"
>"Pretty much."
>You think you know what she'll say already but you have to ask.
"What would happen if Chrysalis turned herself in to free her captured changelings?"
>"She would be either thrown into the deepest dungeon in Equestria to rot, or just executed outright."
>The way Twilight can say that so offhandedly makes you feel very uncomfortable right now.
"I-If she dies what happens to the changelings?"
>"They'll be forced to migrate to a new land and find a colony there, or they'll starve."
"So you're saying if a changeling is captured it's death is almost guaranteed?"
>Twilight narrows her eyes at you.
>"Why so many questions about changelings?"
>The entire situation has gotten way too uncomfortable for you now.
"I just wanted to know what you were getting me into was all."
>"Did you find a changeling in the woods Anon?"
"What? No. Of course not."
"I NEED you to tell me if you did."
>Twilight takes a step towards you with a strange look on her face.
>"Anon, did you?"
>Uh-uh.
>Twilight is acting freaky and You are not getting dragged into whatever is going on.
>Screw that right in the ass.
>You put on the best indignant look that you can muster in your shape.
"Hold it right there Twilight Sparkle."
>The purple mare freezes in place and looks up at you in shock.
>You've never used her full name while talking to her.
"I don't know what is going through your head right now but you had better stop it right now."
>"But Anon, changelings are a serious threat to the safety of Ponyville's citizens and I'm only trying to keep everypony safe."
>Her ears flatten against her head and she quietly whines.
>Oh no, not this time Twiggles.
>Your guilt trip isn't going to work here.
>You glare at Twilight for a few seconds before raising your voice to a near-shout.
"Now you listen to me."
>Twilight recoils slightly and takes a step back
"It's your fault that we ended up in that forest in the first place."
>"Yes, but-"
"No buts. I said I didn't want to go in the portal didn't I?"
>"I thought-"
"Didn't I Twilight?"
>Twilight stares down at her hooves, refusing to make eye contact.
>"...yes."
"I didn't hear you. What was that?"
>"Yes!"
"And yet YOU wouldn't let it rest. Would you?"
>Twilight only sniffles in response.
"WOULD YOU?"
>"NO!"
"I, no.. WE almost died back in the forest."
>The sniffles have turned into a sob now.
"All because you wanted to go on your stupid little bug hunt."
>"A-Anonymous please.. just let me-"
"No!"
>Yup. Now you're shouting.
>You jab your finger towards Twilight like it was a tiny anger filled dagger.
"I almost got killed because you wouldn't listen. Do I go home and rest like I should?"
>Twilight opens her mouth to speak but you cut her off.
"No! I come here to make sure YOU'RE okay."
>"And I-I'm thankful but-"
"And you have the NERVE to accuse me of anything!?"
>Twilight buries her face into her hooves and you watch as her body trembles with each wracking sob.
"You disgust me."
>Without another word you walk away.
>"Wait!"
>Nope, not turning around.
>"Don't go!"
>Keep moving body, don't betray me now.
>More sobs.
>God you're feeling pretty shitty right now, but it had to be done.
>"Anon!"
>You slam the door and run back to your house as fast as you can, tears blurring your vision.
>Maybe you overdid it back there.
>She was already upset about leaving you in the forest then you went and ripped into her like that.
>Yeah, that was definitely too much.
>Having reached your house you bang your head against the door in frustration.
>You know this isn't going to be the last you'll be hearing about this.
"What the fuck was I thinking?"
>With a heavy sigh you unlock the door to your house and head into the living room.
>Only to find your 'hostage' awake and staring a hole through you.
"Well shit."
>Staring at the bug-horse, you get the feeling you didn't think this situation all the way through.
>"I see the human has returned."
>Bug-horse wants to make the first move, alright you can work with this.
"Err.. yes. I have returned."
>Smooth one Anon.
>The bug-horse snorts.
>"When I collapsed I expected to wake up in one of Celestia's dungeons. Yet it is here I find myself instead."
"Uh, yeah. That's about right."
>The changeling narrows its eyes at you.
>"Unless you are a bigger fool than I believed, there is a reason I am not yet in chains."
>You're too tired to play games right now.
"Look, think what you want. I really don't care."
>The bug-horse seems to be taken aback.
>"You do not care?"
"I'm still kinda pissed about you trying to eat me before, but..."
>"But?"
"After I carried you back here I asked Twilight what would happen to any changelings that got captured."
>This makes the changeling smirk.
>"Oh do tell. What has the mighty Princess of friendship said she would do with my children?"
>'My children'?
>You sigh and look down at the changeling resting on your couch.
"She said they would be locked away until either you turned yourself in or they died."
>That wipes the smirk right off its face.
>"Yes... that is the fate of any changeling that is captured by a pony."
>You pull a chair out from your table and turn it so that you can face the changeling while sitting.
>"So that brings us back to where we started human."
"Hmm?"
>"I will ask you again, why am I not yet in the dungeons?"
"Honestly, I only brought you here so the others wouldn't attack me while I tried to escape."
>The changeling laughs and then clutches its side in pain.
>"You took royalty hostage without a plan and you still seem uncertain what you will do."
>It laughs again.
"It's like I said, I'm not too thrilled with you right now."
>You raise a finger in the air stopping the changeling before it can respond.
"However, the thought of any sentient creature starving to death in a dungeon doesn't sit well with me either.
>"You are a strange one indeed Anonymous."
>You forgot you yelled your name at her.
>"So what will you do with me?"
>You put your head in your hands.
"I have not a fucking clue."
>This seems to amuse the changeling.
"What is your name anyway?"
>"You do not already know who I am?"
"I'm really tired and I hurt like hell. Can we just skip the theatrics please?"
>"You really do not know who I am?"
"Nope."
>The bug-horse sits in stunned silence for a moment.
>"I am Chrysalis, Queen of the changelings."
>So that's what she meant by 'royalty' before.
>Wait, isn't she the one Twilight was talking about.
>The realization must have shown on your face because Chrysalis laughs.
>"That's right Anonymous, you are harboring the leader of your enemy in your very home."
>This day just keeps getting better and better.
>Nope.
>Too tired.
>Not dealing with this shit right now.
"King, queen, whatever. Right now I don't care."
>Chrysalis stares at you in silence.
"Do whatever you want, I'm going the fuck to bed."
>Chrysalis's eyes widen in surprise.
>"Just like that?"
>You grunt in response.
>"You have the ruler of your enemy as a helpless hostage and you're just 'going to bed'?
>She grabs her side and winces in pain again.
"Listen Chrissy-"
>"Chrissy? You will address the queen of the changelings by my full name not some moniker you dribble out."
"Hush up you. Your name is a pain in the ass to say so I'm calling you Chrissy from now on."
>Chrysalis's cheeks puff out in irritation.
"Cute. As I was saying, I feel like hell and you look like hell."
>You point to the hallway behind you.
"Bathroom is at the end of the hall, the kitchen is the first door on the left."
>Chrysalis just stares at you in disbelief.
"I don't know what you guys usually eat, but help yourself to whatever you find in the kitchen."
>"You are seriously going to sleep with your enemy sitting right here?"
"Enough with the enemy this and enemy that crap. If you really wanted to attack me you probably would have done it already."
>Chrysalis does not respond.
"That's what I thought. If you run away or something while I'm sleeping just lock up when you leave alright?"
>Not quite sure what to think, Chrysalis just nods her head.
"Good. My bedroom is the only door on the right. Good night."
>"Good... night Anonymous."
"Just call me Anon, the full name thing always seemed to pompous for me."
>"Good night...Anon"
>You wave goodbye to Chrysalis and step into your bed room.
>Standing by your bed, you shrug your ruined clothing onto the floor and crawl into bed.
(Hoo boy, this situation has bullshit written all over it. Whatever, I'll deal with it later.)
>Sleep quickly takes you.

>The sun has set and moonlight blankets the street.
>Several figures leave Anon's house in a huddle and quickly disperse.
>Darting between the shadows, they reach the edge of the town unseen.
>Staring down at the sleeping town of Ponyville for a moment, they vanish into the darkness of the Everfree.
>Rolling over, you bump your shoulder into the night table and wince.
>The throbbing pain in your shoulder slowly brings you out of your sleep.
>With a heavy groan, you pull yourself out of bed and stagger into the bathroom.
>Looking at your reflection you grimace.
>The left side of your face is pretty scratched up and is going to take some time to heal.
>Your right arm has several scrapes and a good gash on it.
>You guess the sweater wasn't enough to completely stop Chrysalis from biting you.
>Wait a minute...
"Oh fuck!"
>You bolt out of the bathroom, almost tripping on your own feet along the way.
>When you arrive in the living room you find Chrysalis laying on the couch in the same spot you dumped her.
>"Good morning Anon, I trust you have slept well?"
>Not entirely sure what to say you scratch at the back of your head.
"Yeah, I guess I slept alright enough."
>"That is good."
"Umm yeah. What about you?"
>Chrysalis slowly blinks at you.
>I have rested as well as I can being confined to a couch in the middle of enemy territory."
"I guess you have a point there."
>"Indeed."
>Dragging a chair over by the couch you sit down.
"This is gonna sound kind of rude, but why are still here anyway?"
>"You did offer me the hospitality of your home."
"I did what now?"
>"And I quote you from this morning. 'Do whatever you want, I'm going the fuck to bed.'"
"I did say that, didn't I?"
>"Yes, you did. And it is as such that I have chosen to stay here until a time that I am able to move freely."
"Fair enough. Have you been in contact with any other changelings since you've been here?"
>"Yes actually. I have spoken with several of my children during the time you were sleeping."
"Nobody saw them right?"
>Chrysalis laughs
>"Do not make light of my children Anon. They have been coming and going for far longer than you have been in Equestria."
"Yeah, I guess you have a point."
>Chrysalis nods in agreement.
"So what now?"
>"Now, I would like something to eat."
"I don't have much left, but what would you like?"
>"Crackers."
"Crackers?"
>"Yes, crackers."
>You aren't quite sure how to respond.
"Sure thing, just gimme a sec."
>"Thank you."
>You briefly pop into the kitchen and after rummaging through the cabinets you find a box crackers.
>Returning to the living room you put the tray of crackers down next to Chrysalis.
"Is this alright?"
>"Yes, very. Thank you."
"Hey Chrissy?"
>"What is it?"
"There is one thing that I'm having a hard time understanding."
>"Explain."
>You pause for a moment, unsure of how to word it.
"Just last night you were literally trying to eat me, but right now you're being a very gracious guest."
>"I understand that you are unfamiliar with changeling customs."
>You motion for her to continue.
>"We engaged in combat and you beat me into submission."
"I still don't know how I feel about that."
>"If you will allow me to continue?"
"Sorry."
>"You have proven that you are stronger than I am and yet you remain humble and allow me to rest in your home."
"Go on."
>"In our customs you could have taken my hive as yours."
"Take your hive?"
>"A queen unable to defend her hive has no right to claim ownership of the hive anymore."
"Ah, I got it."
>"So here we find ourselves, a queen without a king and a human of immense...ferocity."
>With the way she's looking at you right now you almost believe shes flirting with you.
>What is with these ponies and giving you the bedroom eyes?
>Chrysalis looks out the window into the darkness.
>"It is getting late and I am weary still."
>You quickly catch her meaning.
"I gotcha Chrissy, try and get some sleep alright?"
>"Thank you, I will try."
>A draft blows in through your window and you see Chrissy shiver briefly.
>Watching your house guest shiver on your couch makes you frown.
>No matter how unexpected they may be.
>You walk to your room and yank the blanket off of your bed.
>Walking back to Chrysalis you place the blanket and tuck her in.
>She gets the faintest of smiles and nuzzles into your blanket.
>"Hmm... thank you."
"Sweet dreams Chrissy"

>You are Chrysalis, Queen of the changelings.
>And currently the hostage of Anon's blanket.
>When Anon took the blanket from his bed and tucked it around you, you felt a warm fuzzy feeling.
>But now that you need to rise, your fuzzy nest has become a fuzzy prison.
>Struggling to free yourself from the large blanket you accidentally roll off the couch and land on the floor with a thud.
>Quickly whipping your head up, you look from side to side.
>Nobody around to see that.
>Good.
>An errant strand of hair flops onto your face completing the image.
>You quickly blow the offending strand of hair out of your face and worm your way out of the confines of the blanket.
>Stalking through the house you make your way to the side of Anon's bed.
>In front of you lays your king blissfully unaware of the danger he leaves himself in.
>Leaning your face close to his, you gently kiss his forehead.
>"Hmm?"
>Oh shit, Anon is waking up.
>Think fast Chrysalis, think fast.
>He opens a eye and looks up at you groggily.
>"Chrissy?"
"Shhh... I'm just checking up on you."
>"Thanks Chrissy, you're a pretty pony."
>You feel the heat steadily rising in your face.
>You don't really like being compared to a pony, but he did say that you're pretty.
>Backing away slowly, you turn to leave the room but are stopped by Anon calling you.
>"Hey Chrissy, c'mere for a sec."
>When you reach the edge of the bed Anon grabs your leg and pulls you into his embrace.
"Anon!?"
>Silence.
>It seems he has returned to his slumber.
>"Mmmm... such a pretty pony."
>You want to leave, but the cuddle feels too nice.
>Staring up at the ceiling you sigh.
>This could take a while.
>But just maybe you can spare a little more time.

>Sunlight fills the streets and the merry voices of ponies can be heard as they go about their day.
>You hate it.
>Ever since that crap with Twilight your sleep schedule has been all kinds of screwed up.
>It's been three days since you woke up to find Chrysalis gone.
>At first you feared the worst, but you soon found a note.
>In the note was a message thanking you for allowing her to rest up and heal at your home.
>Unfortunately, she had business to attend to elsewhere so she needed to leave.
>She also requests that in three days once the sun has set you go to the clearing where you first met.
>At the bottom of the note was a little green heart with the words 'come alone'
>You also haven't seen Twilight around town since you blew up at her.
>You hope she isn't still upset about it.
>Maybe you should go see her in a day or two and apologize.
>If only to save face.
>Derpy was happy to see you as usual during her last visit but she was worried that the cuts you had would get infected.
>You did your best to assure her that if anything felt funny at any time you would immediately go to the hospital.
>That seemed to be enough for her.
>Bon Bon however...
>Bon Bon flipped her candy coated pony shit.
>Thinking back to it makes you snicker.
---
>You're a little bummed that Chrissy vanished, but you understand.
>She probably has royal changeling stuff to do or something.
>You would like to complain more, but the grumbling from your stomach makes a better argument.
>Throwing on your jacket, you leave your house and drag your feet in the direction of Sweetie Drops.
>Following the usual route you make it there in a few minutes.
>The store is dark for some reason.
>Maybe she's not ready to open yet?
>More grumbles leave your stomach.
>Oh well, you just hope she has a muffin laying around from yesterday or something.
>Pushing open the door without any fanfare you call out to Bon Bon.
"Hey Bonny, you around?"
>"Is that you Anon?"
"The one and only."
>"I'm in the back, come on in."
>You make sure to close and lock the door behind you.
>Making your way over to a table near the kitchen, you remove your jacket and unceremoniously plop down into one of the chairs.
"You should probably remember to lock the door when you're in the back."
>"Why do you say that?"
"What if some weirdo were to just walk in?"
>There is a pause in the noise coming from the kitchen.
>"You mean... like you?"
>Well played.
"That would be offensive if it wasn't so true."
>Bon Bon giggles and resumes whatever shes working on in the kitchen.
>"You don't have to wait in the store Anon, c'mon back into the kitchen."
"Yeah, sure. Just gimmie a sec to drag my butt outta this chair."
>Somehow managing to get the energy, you peel yourself out of the chair and make your way into the kitchen.
>You see Bon Bon standing over by a mixing bowl.
>Hearing you enter, she turns to face you and throws a cup full of flower straight into the air.
>"Sweet Celestia's tits Anon!"
"Huh?"
>"What happened to you!?"
"Ooh."
>"Don't you 'ooh' me mister!"
>In this situation you do the only thing you can think of.
>You shrug your shoulders.
"Twilight and I decided to go on a picnic in the middle of the Everfree and I ended up playing Frisbee with a pack of Timberwolves."
>Bon Bon looks up at you with a deadpan stare.
>"Lets try this again."
>After dusting some flour off of herself, she walks over to you.
>She looks somewhat unhappy.
>After staring up at you for a few moments she stands on her rear legs and plants her forelegs on your hips.
>Correction, she looks PISSED.
>Now when a pony yells at your junk it's usually pretty funny.
>But when a pony is only inches away and is staring you in the eye with a look that can peel paint...
>Well that... that is significantly less funny.
>"Anon?"
"Yes?"
>"Do you think I'm stupid?"
"No."
>"I didn't think so."
>This isn't a side of Bonny you've seen before and it's kind of unsettling.
>"Now, I'm going to ask you again what happened and I want you to tell me the real reason. Understood?"
>You gulp.
"Yes ma'am."
>"Good."
>She stands back on the ground normally and lets out a big sigh.
>"Let's try this again, what happened to you?"
>Not wanting to get mauled by candy fueled fury, you did the one thing you can think of.
>You told her the truth about the entire trip.
>Nah, just kidding.
>You blamed everything on Twilight.
>"So after you had the brilliant idea of smacking a timberwolf with a branch you decided to become a chew toy too!?"
"Hey! It's not my fault."
>"How is it not entirely your fault?"
"If it weren't for Twiggles getting all spastic on me we could have gone on our way and not attracted the entire pack, or... something."
>She seems to deflate a bit.
>"Yeah, I guess I understand what you're saying. You did the best you could in the given situation."
>Kneeling down to eye level with Bon Bon you scratch behind her ear.
"Well I did have one thing on my mind that got me through everything."
>"Mmm... Whats was that?"
"I was determined to make it back so I could come see a certain pretty pony."
>Bon Bon's face lights up in a deep blush.
>"Oh stop it you. You're just trying to get yourself out of trouble."
>Standing back up you crack your back and wince.
>Looks like you're not entering the Ponyville rodeo any time soon.
"Trouble? Pfft. I got enough of that when I went to go check on Twilight after I made it back."
>And now she's glaring at the floor.
>"What did Twilight do?"
"First she was all happy to see me and the like but then she got all spastic on me and started acting like I was hiding a changeling in my back pocket."
>Now she's looking at you with the deadpan gaze again.
>"She did what now?"
"Go figure."
>You shrug your shoulders again.
"I just got mauled by firewood and she picks that moment to get all neurotic on me."
>Bon Bon stomps her hoof and screams into a mixing bowl.
>"Raaagh!"
>Uh-oh.
>Candy poner is screaming at dishware.
>This rates a 2.5 on the Niggawut scale.
>Engaging Cuddle.EXE
>You pick up the angry Bonny and hug her tightly while stroking her mane.
"Hey now, shhh... everything's okay.
>Bonny buries her face in your arm and screams again.
"It's alright. I'm alive and in one piece see?"
>You pull the fuming pony out of your chest and hold her at eye level.
>"When I see twilight I'm gonna shove my hoof so far up her plot she'll be tasting muffins for a week!"
>You put Bonny back on the floor and ruffle her mane.
>That never gets old.
"As fun as that would be to watch, I already chewed on her for that."
>"I still wanna kick her."
"No Bonny, we cant snuggle in front of ANY fireplace if you're in the dungeon."
>The blush quickly returns to her face.
>"Wait, I didn't say anything about-"
>Putting your hand over her mouth, you smile.
"Yes you did."
>"Mmph"
>Doing your best Bon Bon impression you continue.
"Fireplaces are a great place to snuggle up with a special somepony."
>"Mph mph mmph"
"Guess that means I have to get a big, fancy one before we can start dating huh?"
>Standing up, you snatch a muffin from the rack and walk away leaving a stunned Bon Bon behind.
"Off to go see a pony about a fireplace. See ya later beautiful!"
>As soon as you shut the door to the shop you take off in a sprint.
>What were you thinking?
>When the hell did you start flirting with ponies?
>Maybe coming home to Bonny and a nice cuddle would make the day more worthwhile.
>What did you just get yourself into?
>Meanwhile back in Sweetie Drops Candies Bon Bon is still dumbstruck, staring at the spot where you were standing.
>"Anon wants to be my special somepony?"

>Back to present day Anon.
>The sun has set and the usual townsponies have all gone back into their homes.
>It's time for you to go meet Chrysalis and see what she wants.
>Maybe you should bring a snack in case whatever this is takes a while?
>Thinking back on it, you know she likes crackers.
>You're pretty sure she she ate the whole pack considering you never saw them again.
>Come to think of it, you never saw your tray again either.
>Bug-horse went and snatched your favorite platter.
>That's not very nice.
>You haven't seen your favorite shirt in a few days too.
>She isn't building some weird shrine to you in her closet or something is she?
>Eh, whatever.
>Thoughts for another day you suppose.
>Grabbing a pack of cookies out of your cabinet, you pull on your jacket and follow your typical lock-up procedure.
>After making sure nobody was around to watch, you pull your hood up over your face and head off.
>Upon reaching the edge of the town you are met by a pair of timberwolves.
>You freeze up for a moment on reflex before relaxing when you notice they haven't tried to eat you yet.
"I assume you guys are my escort?"
>The wolves stare at you silently and then head back towards the woods.
>Not wanting to be left behind you quickly follow suit.
>Looking up you smile at how pretty the moon looks tonight.
>Luna always does such a good job on the night sky.
>Too bad you can't thank her personally huh?
>As you approach the clearing your escorts vanish into the shadows, leaving you to continue on alone.
>Finding a nice tree stump, you sit under the moonlight and wait.
>You do not have to wait long however before a shadow oozes forth from the dark of the forest.
>"It's a lovely night out isn't it?"
>You jump off of the stump in surprise.
"What the hell Chrissy? You damn near scared me half to death."
>Chrysalis laughs into a hoof.
>"A queen such as myself must have a certain amount of flair with her entrances."
"You were waiting in the woods for me to get comfortable so you could scare me, weren't you?"
>The innocent expression on Chrisylis's face is almost convincing.
"Chrissy."
>"But it was such fun."
>Shaking your head, you sigh.
>Fucking ponies man.
>You sit back down on the stump and pull the pack of cookies out of your coat pocket.
"Cookie?"
>"Yes, thank you."
>The two of you sit and enjoy the pack of cookies as well as the company of the other.
>The only sound disturbing the silence is that of soft chewing and the occasional passing of a timberwolf.
>When you questioned Chrysalis about that she just brushed it off as still needing to maintain a sense of caution despite the hour.
>As the last cookie is eaten Chrysalis places a hoof on your leg.
>"I take it you wish to know the reason I asked you here tonight?"
"I would be lying if I said that wasn't on my mind."
>"Very well."
>Her horn flares up bright green for a moment before the darkness returns.
>From the tree line a changeling walks out carrying something large and black in its mouth.
>Is that a shirt?
>"Anonymous?"
"Whats up?"
>"I have chosen you as my king and one day you may come to see me as your queen."
>Chrysalis take a deep breath and holds it for a few seconds before exhaling.
>Is she... nervous?
>"As things are at present I am unable to stay by your side to keep you safe."
>She is looking everywhere but your face now.
>"In time you will come to do great things for my children. Of this I am certain."
>You nod for her to continue.
>"I have personally seen how you face danger and I fear for your safety."
"Aww come on, I didn't do anything that crazy."
>"You still bear the wounds I myself inflicted. Do not think to tell me you aren't reckless."
>You smile sheepishly.
"Okay, okay, maybe it was a little reckless of me to shove my arm in your mouth."
>Deadpan stare.
"Alright! Totally reckless."
>You cross your arms over your chest in a huff.
"You win, happy now?"
>Chrysalis nods before taking another breath.
>"There will be many a time which I can not protect you from danger, or yourself."
"Hey now."
>"I made this for you to keep you safe from mortal blows."
>The changeling walks over to you and you remove the object from it's back.
>Holy shit, it's armor.
>It looks like a vest made from the same chitin the changelings have and it's really light.
>"It is made from chitin I personally removed from my body so it is of the highest quality."
>That's kinda creepy but her heart was in the right place.
>"Please, try it on."
>Reluctantly you strip off your jacket and your shirt.
>Holy crap it's cold out.
>You pull the vest over your head and it fits like a second skin.
>After flexing for a little bit you grin like an idiot.
"Do I make this look good or what?"
>"It looks perfect on you."
>Now that she's satisfied you quickly pull on your shirt and jacket.
>"Promise me that you'll wear it when you go somewhere dangerous."
"I promise."
>"I hope that the days never comes when you need it."
>Chrysalis quickly snaps her head up in the direction of some chittering coming from the deeper in woods.
"What's up?"
>"My children have seen a pony near the forest, it is time for me to depart."
"When will I see you again?"
>She thinks for a moment.
>"When you wish to meet, just place a rose on the tree stump where you sit and one of my children will bring it to me."
"A rose?"
>"What? I like roses."
"I'm not saying a thing."
>"As I was saying, I will visit you on the following night."
"So I just leave a flower on this tree and the next night you'll visit me?"
>"That is correct."
"How will you know where I am?"
>"My children are everywhere. I'll Know."
>Okay, definitely getting creepy now.
>More chitters echo from the forest.
>"I shall see you on another day, we must away now."
>Acting on a whim, you wrap your arms around Chrissy's neck and hug her close.
>You can hear the faintest of content sighs.
>"That's not playing fair."
"A king must depart with a certain amount of flair."
>"You tease."
"You know it."
>With that you pull your hood up and begin making the trek back into town.
---
>Meanwhile, in the clouds far above Ponyville
>"Hmm... We have just witnessed a most interesting exchange."
>"This necessitates further inquiry."

>It is a lovely, sunshine filled day.
>The birds are singing and ponies are mulling about, happily going about their business.
>And thanks to your late night rendezvous with he queen of changelings you are more than happy to lay in bed and sleep it away.
>Or at least you would be if it weren't for that infernal banging on your door.
>When the hell did you become so popular anyway?
>Grudgingly you pull yourself out from the comfort of your covers and trudge your way over to the front door.
>You yank open the door and glare down at whoever dares to disturb your sleep.
>You glare quickly melts off your face when you see Bon Bon standing before you bundled up in a knitted cap and scarf.
>Her face is slightly discolored and her nose is running.
"Jesus Bonny, you look like hell.
>"Good morning to you too."
"What happened to you?"
>"I'm sick genius. Are you gonna let me in or what?"
"I see somebody is a cranky pony today."
>You move aside allowing Bon Bon to shuffle past you.
>As Bonny slowly makes her way onto your couch you rummage through your cabinets.
"Found it!"
>"Mrgh?"
"It's a little old, but are you okay with peppermint tea?"
>"Yeah."
>working in silence, you quickly go about making the tea.
>Once the tea is ready you pour some into a pink and blue mug.
>You bring it over to your guest and are met with a questioning gaze.
"Don't judge me, it reminded me of you."
>This seems to satisfy her and she rests her head back on the arm of your couch.
>placing the mug down on a table next to her, you pull out your chair and pull it over to the couch.
>Come to think of it, your couch has been hosting a lot of ponies as of late hasn't it?
>Maybe it's time you looked into getting a newer couch.
>And a larger one at that if you ever intend to host another mini-party again.
>Looking around you begin to wonder if you'll be needing a whole new house with the way you keep getting company.
"I'm not used to seeing you out during the day, much less here of all places."
>"I tried opening the store today, but I couldn't get out of bed in time."
>"I can see why."
>"I have Lyra running the shop right now, but she knows as much about baking as I do flying."
"So what brings you here then? Why not stay in bed instead of dragging yourself through the town to get to my door?"
>"I need to ask you a favor."
>You have a feeling you already know where this is going.
>"I'm worried Lyra will set something on fire if I keep her in the kitchen for too long."
>Bon Bon looks up at you and sniffles.
>"Could you please run the shop for me tomorrow?"
"You know I don't know a thing about baking right?"
>"It's fine, you probably wont even get any customers anyway. I just really need somebody in the store on the off chance somepony does show up."
"I was thinking of going job hunting tomorrow, but I guess I can make an exception for you."
>Bonny smiles weakly.
>"Thanks, that takes a lot off my mind."
"Happy to help."
>"How many bits do you want?"
"Say what now?"
>"You're working in my place tomorrow."
"Yeah."
>"How many bits do you want?"
"I know you're in the same situation I am."
>"But still, I don't feel right making you work for free."
"How about this, in exchange for the time and labor you give me a third of whatever profit you make as a result of my sales."
>"But then you'll be getting only a few bits at best."
"And if I don't sell anything, you aren't taking any losses either."
>"But that still doesn't seem fair to me."
"Those are my terms. If you want my help then you'll do it my way."
>Bonny frowns for a few seconds before sighing.
>"Alright, you win."
"Good. Now finish up your tea so we can get you back home and into bed."
>Once She finishes her tea you scoop her into your arms and carry her home despite many weak protests.
>Adamant that she can put herself to bed, you leave Bon Bon on her doorstep and head back into town.
>Since Chrysalis said she would visit if you left a rose on the stump you figure it's time to head over to the florist and see if they have any roses left.
>Reaching the flower sisters' shop you open the door and walk in.
>Knocking into a poor pale yellow pony and sending her sprawling onto the floor.
>"Eagh!"
"Oh shit, are you alright?"
>The pony quickly picks itself up off the floor and looks up at you.
>Her ears pin back against her head and she takes a step back.
>"Yeah, sure thing. I'm fine. No worries here."
>You take a step toward the pony and she takes another step back in response.
>Sensing the situation you take a step back and put your hands up.
"Easy now, my name is Anonymous and I live over near the edge of Ponyville."
>"Wait, You're Anon?"
"The one and only."
>The pony's ears return to their normal position.
>"I'm sorry about that, it's I've never seen you before and you're just... really big."
"I get that sometimes."
>"Really, really big."
"Yep, that's me."
>"Oh shoot! Where are my manners. Welcome to our store, what can I do for you?"
"I was wondering if you had any roses left in stock?"
>"Roses?"
"I know it's getting colder out but I figured I would take a shot anyway."
>"Oh the season is no trouble at all."
"Huh?"
>"My sister has a greenhouse in the basement so we can grow exotic flowers and the like all year long."
"That's convenient."
>"It is, isn't it?"
>Silence passes as the two of you look at each other.
"So uh, the roses?"
>"Dangit! I'm doing it again aren't I?"
"Nah, its fine."
>"My sisters say I have a habit of letting my mind wander and getting easily distracted."
"I'm sure it isn't that bad."
>"So why do you want the roses anyway? Is it for a certain special somepony?"
"Uh.. its for a friend?"
>"A friend?"
"I think shes a friend anyway."
>"You think?"
>You shrug.
"She's something alright. I don't know what we are to each other but her company isn't bad."
>"That sounds confusing."
"Eh, as of late I've just been going with the flow. It's easier on my brain that way."
>"So how did you two meet?"
>You laugh.
"An acquaintance of mine introduced us and then she more or less beat me up."
>"Oh my, you're into THAT kind of stuff are you?"
"Wait, what?"
>The mare bats her eyes at you.
>Her meaning sinks in.
>Holding your hands in front of you, you take a step back.
"Oh no. No no no no. Not me, no way."
>She pouts.
>"Awww, that's no fun."
>She looks you up and down.
>You're beginning to feel like a piece of meat on display.
>"Say, since you're so big do you think you can help a little ole' mare like myself with a problem?"
"I guess?"
>"There's a tree out behind the shop and it has fruit on it usually."
"Go on."
>"Well we've been harvesting the fruit from the tree to make salads and we've gotten all we can reach."
"And you want me to do what?"
>"Well... since you're taller than us do you think you can hop on a ladder and pick the rest of the fruit for me?"
"You want me to go pick fruit."
>"Please? It would make my sisters really happy when they get back from shopping."
>You sigh once again.
"Fine. It's not like I really had plans today anyway."
>She passes you a ladder and a basket before you head back out into the cold to go pick fruit.
>What is it with ponies coming to you for stuff?
>You can barely even keep up your own things as it is.
>Oh well, a little extra goodwill from the town you live in couldn't hurt.
>Right?
>A good hour must have passed by and now your hands feel frigid.
>But at least you got all the fruit you could find off the stupid tree.
>Heading back inside with the fruit-laden basket you call out to the tiny pony.
"Uh miss?"
>"Coming!"
>The mare trots out from a room on the side wearing a white chef's apron.
>"Ah, thank you. There is much more here than I was expecting."
>Handing the basket over to her, you crack your back.
"You said you make a salad from this stuff?"
>"Oh yes, it tastes wonderful. I was just about to make some with this, do you want some?"
>Free food after freezing your hands off?
>Hell yeah.
"That would be wonderful."
>"Alright, follow me."
>The two of you head into what appears to be a kitchen in the back of the store.
"You guys have a kitchen in your store?"
>She looks up at you in confusion.
>"It shouldn't be that much of a surprise."
"Why's that?"
>"We live right upstairs."
"I did not know that."
>"Well okay then."
>You take a seat at the kitchen table and watch as she gets to work.
>Time passes quickly as the yellow mare cuts up various fruits and vegetables before tossing in some oil.
>"Here you go Anon, one Flower Sister Fruit Salad."
>The mare places a plate piled high with salad on the table in front of you.
"That's a bit of a mouthful isn't it?"
>"It kinda is, but Daisy named it and I'm not gonna change what works."
"Daisy?"
>"Oh! Daisy and Lilly are my sisters."
"I assume they run the shop with you?"
>"Yup. It's a little slow right now since the season are changing but it'll pick back up soon."
"Makes sense."
>that would explain why you haven't heard the bell above the door jungle since you came in with the fruit.
"Hey, uh miss?"
>"Yes?"
"We've spent the last few hours together and I still don't know your name."
>The mare looks down at the floor in embarrassment.
>"Sorry about that, I guess I got sidetracked and forgot all about that.
"I noticed."
>"Right, introductions are in order."
>The mare stands next to you and clears her throat.
>"Good afternoon Anon, my name is Roseluck and it's a pleasure to meet you."
"And you as well miss Roseluck."
>"Please, just Rose will suffice. After all, we're friends now aren't we?"
"I guess we are."
>Wait, does this mean you're gonna be having more company over now?
>Well at least this one knows how to cook.
"So uh, Rose?"
>"Yes?"
"It's been fun spending the better part of the afternoon here but..."
>"But what?"
"About those roses I came here for?"
>"Gosh Darn it!"
>After Rose insists you take a bouquet as thanks for your assistance you head straight home.
>If you don't interact with any ponies then they cant ask you for more help.
>Stopping with your hand on the door knob, you think for a moment and head off towards the clearing.
>Lets see if Chrissy was serious about visiting.
>Placing a rose on the stump, you look around at the clearing and head back to your house.
>After you leave the clearing, a timberwolf creeps out of the shadows and gently plucks the rose off of the stump.
>It looks at your shape on the horizon and then slinks back into the darkness.
>Dreading the early wake-up, you slip out of your clothes and head straight to bed.
>Hopefully you can get a decent sleep without any interruptions tonight.
---
>A faint breeze tickles your nose forcing you to rub your face.
>Opening your eyes you find yourself in the middle of a grassy field.
>In just your boxers mind you.
>Everything around you is dark and you have no memory of where you are or how you got here.
>The grass tickles your feet and a gentle rain begins to fall.
>On the horizon you see what looks like a log cabin.
>When the rain suddenly becomes a downpour and thunder crashes, you take off in the direction of the cabin.
>After a few seconds you suddenly find yourself standing in front of the cabin.
"What the hell?"
>Your voice echos eerily in the darkness.
>Everything here just feels weird.
>You open the door to the cabin and suddenly find yourself standing in your living room.
"What kind of happy horseshit is this?"
>"Yes Anonymous, do tell us what to make of this."
>Hearing a voice behind you, you whip around and find a pony laying on your couch.
>Not just any pony, but the princess of the night.
>"We have been observing thine activities for some time Anonymous. There are questions we have and thou will provide us with the answers we desire."
>Oh fuck.
"So uh... Princess Luna was it?"
>"Correct."
"If you're here on my couch, and I was just outside in a field..."
>Your brain begins to boot back up and connect the dots.
"I'm in a dream aren't I?"
"Once again you are correct."
>So you're dreaming.
>That explains a bit.
>Which means there's a reason she's talking to you right now and not kicking down your door with the entirety of the Canterlot army.
>"Thou are trying our patience Anonymous."
"Huh?"
>"We demand to know why thou were consorting with the Queen of the changelings the night prior.
"Consorting? You make it sound like I'm planning to overthrow Ponyville or something."
>"Do not jest with us at this time."
>Okay, sarcasm is a bad idea right now.
"Alright, here's the story in a nutshell."
>"You have our attention."
"She tried to eat me at one point, but I guess we kinda became friends along the way."
>Luna deadpans in your direction.
>"Thou became 'friends' with the Queen of the changelings?"
"She seems to like me well enough... so yeah. I think so anyway."
>"That is most peculiar."
"How so?"
>"Changelings are a parasitic race that feed on emotions."
"So I've heard."
>"Creatures do not make 'friends' with their food Anonymous."
"I already showed her that eating me wasn't worth it."
>"Yes, as you have mentioned. Prey tell, how did you accomplish such a feat?"
"I hit her in the head with a tree several times."
>"We already said not to jest."
"Nope, one hundred percent serious."
>Luna deadpans again.
>"The queen of changelings became your friend after being struck in the head with a tree."
"Yup."
>"Thou do not seem to be lying, but we still cannot believe such tales."
"Umm... shit. Why couldn't you have approached me in the real world?"
>Luna cocks her head to the side.
"She gave me this thing she made for me to keep me safe.
>"She made something as a gift?"
"Yeah. It was pretty nice of her actually."
>Luna looks concerned now.
>"Such acts from a changeling are unheard of."
"Yeah well if you were in my real home I could show you."
>You think about the vest trying to remember every detail about it.
"It's black, shiny, really lightweight, its kinda snug and-
>*POP*
>The vest falls to the ground at your feet.
"Oh, hey. There it is."
>You pick up the vest and look over to Luna.
"Thanks for popping in my vest. It's much easier to show you than-"
>Luna's eyes are bulging and she scooted back to the far side of your couch.
"Uhh.. princess?"
>You wave your hand in front of her face.
>"WE DID NOT DO THAT."
>Holy shit she got loud.
>"T'WAS NOT OUR MAGIC THAT CALLED IT."
>You shrug.
"Who knows, I stopped trying to figure all this magic stuff out a while ago."
>"WE SPOKE WITH THE ROYAL DOCTORS. THOUST CAN NOT USE MAGIC."
>Ah, the ponies that checked if you were carrying any fatal diseases and the such.
>You didn't know they tested you for magic too.
>"WE WATCHED THINE DAILY ACTIVITIES."
>Princess of the night is a bit of a voyeur huh?
>"THOU CAN NOT USE MAGIC."
"I could have told you that."
>"SO WHY DOES THOU CALL FORTH ITEMS IN THE DREAM REALM?"
>You clamp your hand over Luna's mouth.
"Okay one, stop shouting or get out of my head."
>Luna's eyes fill with anger.
>"Meh mur mand moff mov ms!"
"Yeah, no. I'm not moving my hand until you calm your tits."
>"MMMGH!"
"My dream, my rules."
>Luna closes her eyes for a few seconds and visibly calms down.
>Taking your hand away slowly you expect to hear hell but are relieved when your head isn't magicked into bloody confetti.
"I'm sorry about that, but you were making my ears hurt."
>"Thou should not feel pain in a dream."
"Guess what, I did."
>"Thou art a most strange one indeed Anonymous."
"Just call me Anon please."
>"Very well... Anon."
"As for popping stuff up in my dream, I dunno. Maybe it's a human thing?"
>Luna looks up at the ceiling.
>"Our time grows short Anon, we shall continue this another time."
"One thing before we end this?"
>Luna looks at you in puzzlement.
"The next time you wanna talk just invite yourself over my house in the real world."
>"That is okay?"
"Why the hell not, you already know where I live."
>"Very well."

>Forcing your eyes open you notice that the sun has not yet risen.
>Good.
>That means you can go back to sl- no... No.
>You have to help Bonny today so you can't go back to sleep.
>Angry at yourself for sacrificing sleep, you go to roll onto your side and fall flat onto the floor.
>That hurt.
>That's odd though, normally you don't sleep so close to the edge of the bed.
>Your back is aching, but you force yourself to sit up on the cold, hard, wooden floor.
>There is a strangely shaped lump under your blanket on the other half of your bed.
>Dafaq?
>It's far, far too early for this shit.
>Standing up, your rip the covers off of your blanket and expose...
>Derpy.
>Yeah, you've been a bit too busy to spend the day with her, but you didn't expect a impromptu sleep over.
>You pull the blanket back onto the bed and tuck Derpy in snugly.
>You stand next to your bed and enjoy the adorable view of bedhead Derpy.
>"Ammgh... Anon?"
>Wearing a smile, you kneel down and rest your elbows on the bed.
"Hey there sunshine. Come here often?"
>Derpy lets out a sleepy giggle and pulls your pillow into an embrace.
>"I haven't gotten to spend any time with you really over the last few days... I got lonely."
>Curse this pony and what she does to your heart.
"Aww man, I'm really sorry."
>"It's okay, I have you here now."
>You pull the sleepy poner into a hug.
>*Happy poner noises*
"Unfortunately I can't hang out today, I promised Bonny I'd go run her shop today because she's sick."
>Derpy frowns and you die a little on the inside.
>"It's alright Anon, I understand if you're busy."
"Oh! I know, what are you doing Saturday after work?"
>"Saturday?"
"Yeap, I was thinking we could go pick a few pumpkins since it's almost... what was that spooky thing you guys celebrate here?"
>Derpy sits up in your bed, eyes wide with excitement.
>"Nightmare night?"
"Yeah, that."
>"I can go pumpkin picking Saturday. Are you sure it wont be a bother?"
"It's been a while since we did something, just the two of us."
>You further muss her already mussy bedhead.
"I'm positive it won't be a bother."
>"Yay!"
>You gently push Derpy back down onto the bed and pull the blankets up around her.
"Alright young lady, I have to get going so you go back to sleep okay?"
>"Alright, I'm really excited about Saturday though.
"So am I."
>Saying goodnight to Derpy, you lock up the house and head over to Bonny's to find out exactly what you signed up for.
>Walking down the street, you arrive at Bonny's without incident.
>The lights are off and everything is quiet from within.
>Did she change her mind?
>You walk up and gently knock on the door.
>Silence.
>You knock again, this time a little louder.
>A few moments later you hear movement from within.
>A very groggy Lyra opens the door and stares at you in confusion.
>”Anon? Why are you banging on my door before the sun is even up?”
“Sorry for waking you, Bonny wanted me to run the shop today so I came by to get her keys.”
>She stares at you blankly for a minute before grumpily trudging back into the house.
>Not sure if you should follow or not you decide to stand there on the doorstep.
>You hear some muffled conversation and Lyra eventually returns to the door, keys in hand.
>”Here are the stupid keys, now if there's nothing else I'm going back to bed.”
>Before you can say anything Lyra shoves the key ring in your hand and shuts the door in your face.
>Okay, Lyra is not a morning pony.
>You reach the store just as the sun is starting its ascent.
>Unlocking the door, you step inside and immediately pull your arms to your chest.
“Holy shit it is freezing in here!”
>No wonder Bonny has that fireplace.
>After spending some time setting up the fireplace and getting the shop to a nice warmth you decide its time to get started on the hard part.
>Making your way into the kitchen you find a note left for you.
>On the note was a simple recipe for muffins and a message from Bon Bon.
>'Dear Anon,'
>'Thank you for helping me out and watching my shop today.'
>'Most of today's prep work has already been done so all you have to do is whip up a batch or two of muffins.'
>'I highly doubt you'll get a single customer today so you don't have to worry about making any of the fancier stuff'
>'Honestly things are so bad I've had to borrow money from Lyra to keep afloat.'
>'It's too embarrassing to say these kinds of things in person, but if business doesn't magically turn around I'm gonna have to close up shop.'
>Well shit.
>You don't want the poor girl to close up shop, there's gotta be something you can do to help.
>Maybe an advertising campaign?
>You need to handle the shop first before you can do anything else.
>While you muse over how to help your friend you manage to whip up two batches of banana nut muffins.
>And you only set the oven on fire once.
>After you put the muffins in the display case, you walk over to the door and flip the sign to 'OPEN'.
>Stepping outside, you look around at the first sleepy residents of Ponyville going about their way.
>Not a single one even looks in your direction.
>You shrug and walk back inside.
>Since you'll be here all day you may as well make sure the shop is sparkling for when Bonny is feeling better.
>A few hours have passed and you must have swept the same spot on the floor at least five times.
>You decide to sit over by the register and rest your head for a bit.
>Propping your head in your hands, you stare blankly in the direction of the door.
>Your eyes are getting heavy and you keep yawning.
>When she said this place was dead she wasn't exaggerating.
>You feel your eyes close for only a moment when suddenly your head drops onto the counter with a hearty thunk.
“Fuck.”
>That hurt.
>You sit back up and rub your face hoping to shake off some of the sleepy.
>The door opens with a jingle.
>Holy shit, a customer.
>A pony with a brilliant white coat and an emerald green mane walks in.
>Quickly making yourself as presentable as you can, you greet the pony.
“Good afternoon miss and welcome to Sweetie Drops Candies.”
>The mare looks at you with a coy smile.
>”Good morning sir, I've never seen you here before.”
>Her voice is melodious and seems to tickle your ears as she speaks.
>”Are you a new worker here?”
“Nah, The owner is out with a bug so she asked me to run shop for a bit.”
>The mare looks around and takes a few steps closer to you.
>”Oh that's such a shame. I do hope the poor dear feels better soon.”
“It's been a few days so I'm sure she'll be up and about in no time.”
>She leans on the counter across from you.
>”So tell me handsome, what's your name?”
>What is it with these ponies coming on to you all the time?
>It's gotta be the meat eating thing.
>Putting on your best poker face you try to humor the lady.
>Hopefully you'll be able to make a few bits for Bonny if you keep your cool.
“The names Anonymous, and yourself?”
>She takes you hand between her hooves and raises it to her mouth.
>This pony isn't playing fair.
>”You can call me Crystal Glitter.”
>Your response catches in your throat as she runs her tongue up and down your finger.
>She puts your finger in her mouth and begins sucking on it gently, tongue teasing various spots the entire time.
>Mouth hanging open and eyes wide in surprise, you stare.
>By Celestia's ass cheeks, what is it with this pony?
>Pulling your finger out of her mouth with a loud POP, she smiles at your obvious surprise.
>”But since you think my name is 'such a pain in the ass' to say, you can just call me Chrissy.”
>You quickly rip your hand away from the mare's mouth.
"What the flying fuck?!"
>"Anon, you wound me. After all, you asked for me to visit you, did you not?"
"Oh fuck me, it IS you isn't it?"
>”As you like to say, 'The one and only'.”
“How did you know I was gonna be here?”
>”When one of my children delivered your message I decided to come right away instead of waiting for nightfall.”
>She takes a step back and stretches.
>”I stopped by your house early in the morning but the grey mailmare answered your door.
>Your eyes narrow.
“I hope you didn't do anything funny to Derpy.”
>”Relax, if she is a friend of yours my children and I shall refrain from harming her in any way.”
“What about Bon Bon and Lyra?”
>”Are they friends of yours?”
“Of course.”
>”Then they are safe from harm as well.”
>You raise an eyebrow at the changeling queen.
“Just like that?”
>”Just like that.”
“why?”
>”Why what?”
“Why are you so quick to concede to my wishes?”
>She hangs her head and sighs.
>”I already told you that I've chosen you as my king. That grants you certain special privileges.”
“So that makes me what, a favorite pet or something?”
>She just shakes her head.
>”One day you will understand. But for now I assume you want me to continue my story?”
“Oh right, sorry.”
>”As I was saying, when the grey one, Derpy you said?”
>You nod.
>”When Derpy answered the door she said you were going to be elsewhere today so she was watching your house for a bit.
>”When I told her I was a good friend of yours from out of town and you were expecting me soon she told me you would be here all day.”
“What did you do then?”
>”I simply thanked her for her time and would come find you.”
“What'd she do after?”
>”I assume when I left she returned to sleep.”
>You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding.
>”What, did you think I was going to eat her or something?”
>You give her a deadpan stare.
>”Okay, okay. You were a different story.”
“Gee, really?”
>”I think we both came out for the better from it.”
“I look like I stuck my arm in a wood chipper.”
>”It builds your appeal.”
“Right.”
>She walks back over to the counter and rests her face inches away from yours.
>”Mares like a stallion who looks dangerous but shows they have a caring side too.”
>Is it getting warm in here?
>”Some of us especially are fond of the more...”
>Chrysalis slowly runs her tongue across her lips.
>”Predatory types.”
>It is really warm in here.
>Did you put too much firewood in the fireplace?
>Suddenly Chrysalis's shape falters and briefly reverts back to her changeling self.
>Wide eyed, she gasps looks around.
>”Is there anybody around who may have seen that?”
>You chuckle at the complete change in her personality.
“Easy girl, there hasn't been a single soul here all day besides you.”
>”That is quite a relief.”
“What was that about anyway?”
>”It takes a good amount of magic to keep up this appearance and because I'm hungry my spell failed for a moment.”
“Well if you're hungry why don't you eat something from here?”
>She ponders the thought for a moment before continuing.
>”I do not have any bits on my person and I do not wish to freely take from your friend.”
“It's fine, I'll cover whatever you want.”
>”I do not like the thought of having you pay for my meal as though I was some common vagrant.”
“Nu-uh. You wanna keep going with the king stuff, then your king says he shall treat his queen to a snack.”
>”So you recognize yourself as my king now?”
>You shrug.
“Sure, why the hell not. If it'll get you to eat a damn muffin already I'll call myself the prettiest pony princess in Equestria.”
>She lets out a deep, hearty laugh.
>It wasn't filled with scorn or sarcasm like usual, this one seemed to be filled with genuine mirth.
“What's so funny?”
>”You should go see the fashionista and have her make a shirt with that.”
>You snort.
“I'm sure twilight would love to see that.”
>”It might even give her a  mild seizure.”
“Twiggles is neurotic enough already, I don't think I need to break her further.”
>Chrysalis sighs and reverts back to her changeling shape.
“You alright?”
>”The spell is causing too much strain for me to keep up any further. Can I have that snack please?”
>You better get her something fast.
>Knowing your luck, every princess in Equestria will pick now to walk in.
“We better get some food into you fast then. What do you want?”
>”Is there anything here made by you?”
“Just this handful of banana nut muffins.”
>”One of those then.”
>You fish a few bits out of your pocket and pay for two muffins.
“Here you go.”
>”Why are you handing me two muffins?”
“It's small and you're hungry, take two.
>Very well.”
>Chrysalis chews on a muffin briefly and her eyes widen in surprise.
“Does it taste that bad?”
>Chrysalis stares off into space so you decide to snatch the muffin from her hoof and take a bite yourself.
“It's kinda bland but not THAT bad.”
>Chrysalis snatches the muffin back form you and glares at you.
“Woah, touchy about our food are we?”
>When what you said registers, Chrysalis's expression goes from anger to mortification.
>”I'm terribly sorry, it's been quite some time since I've eaten anything that filling. That was terribly ungrateful of me.”
“Hey, no big deal. I'll try not to steal your food next time.
>”Please, I assure you it's not like that.”
“Don't worry about it, it's done and over with.”
>She frowns but takes the hint and changes the topic.
>”I am grateful for the lack of business presently, but why is it so empty here?”
>You shrug.
“I dunno honestly, from what I've pieced together business has been awful for Bonny for a while.”
>”That's unfortunate. This is a nice place.”
“I agree, it sucks that I can't just magic up some business for her.”
>”Hmm?”
“What?”
>”Nothing. Prey tell, when you were making the muffins was there something on your mind?”
“Nothing much really, why?”
>”Are you absolutely certain there was nothing at all on your mind?”
“Nothing special, I was just trying to think of ways to help out Bon Bon.”
>”I see, thank you.”
“Umm... you're welcome?”
>Chrysalis brings back up her pony form and heads over to the door.
>”Thank you for the food, I have something I must attend to now.”
“You're leaving?”
>”Unfortunately yes, there is something that I must check”
“Understood. Thanks for coming to see me today, I appreciate it.”
>You can see the blush spreading on her face from across the store.
>”As I enjoyed spending time in your company. I shall see you again after the sun sets.”
“See you later beautiful.”
>She pauses in the doorway and laughs.
>There's that sarcastic laugh you've become so familiar with.
>”Oh I know I am.”
>The door closes with a jingle and you go back to your lonely seat at the register.
>Well at least Bonny made a few bits today, even if it was only from you.
>Expecting the day to proceed at a crawl now, you rest your head in your arms and close your eyes.
>Just as you start getting comfortable you hear the door jingle again.
>Without opening your eyes you greet the visitor.
“What's the matter, do you miss me already?”
>”Actually... yes.”
>Wait, you know that voice.
>Snapping your head up you look at the figure standing in the doorway and your stomach knots up.
“Hey there Twilight, I wasn't expecting you to stop in.”

>You are Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of friendship.
>And right now you are one confused little pony.
>After Anon yelled at you and stormed off, you felt like utter trash.
>You didn't leave your home for days, sometimes even forgetting to eat.
>You don't know what came over you.
>First you were overjoyed to see your friend return from deep in the Everfree injured, but alive.
>An then you went all weird on him and freaked him out.
>Things were going so well for you too.
>He finally seemed like he was becoming open to your advances.
>Granted, you were mostly acting on advice from Rarity and Rainbow Dash, but still. Progress was progress.
>But now, you feel like you're worse off than when you first started.
>You were hoping that he would feel bad and come back and make up with you so you could invite him out for dinner as an apology.
>But the days passed and while Anon was seen around town, not once did he ever visit.
>Instead he was spending more and more time with Derpy, Roseluck, and Bon Bon.
>Sure, he can spend time with his friends, but you've seen the way they look at him.
>He's the one pony err... person, in Ponyville that sees you as more than a royal figure.
>He actually treats you like a regular pony and isn't afraid to give you a hard time on occasion.
>If you lose him to one of the other girls you don't know what you'll do with yourself.
>Forcing yourself out of your comfort zone you go to Anon's house and end up pacing back and forth in front of his door.
“You can do this twilight, you've got to do this.”
“Just knock on the stupid door and say hello.”
“Should I pretend like nothing happened?”
>The door opens.
“Should I tell him I forgive him for yelling at me?”
“But what if that only makes him mad again?”
“Maybe I'll just tell him I'm sorry and it was my fault.”
“Argh!”
>”Twilight?”
>You gasp and freeze in your tracks.
“Hey there An-... Derpy.”
>The mailmare looks around in confusion.
>”Who were you talking to out here?”
>Oh Celestia, how embarrassing.
>Of anypony to hear you talking to yourself it was Derpy.
>Not that you mind her or anything, since shes one of Anons close friends.
>Hold on a tic.
>You're starting to feel funny.
>It feels like your heart is being crushed in a vice while your head is being used as a drum.
“Derpy... why are you answering Anon's door?”
>”Huh?”
“Where is Anon?”
>”Oh, he's watching Bon Bon's store right now.”
“So why are YOU here, at HIS house?”
>The edges of your vision are starting to turn a murky green now.
>Derpy cocks her head to the side.
>”Anon lets me sleep here when we hang out.”
>Oh.
“I-I see.”
>You shake your head, trying to clear the fog.
“I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little funny right now so I'm gonna get going.
>”That's okay, I'm gonna lock up here and I'll be leaving myself in a bit.”
“You said he was watching Sweetie Drops?”
>”Do you want me to tell him you stopped by?”
“Nah, I'm gonna go see him myself in a little while.”
>Derpy cocks her head again.
>”He sure is popular today it seems.”
>What?
“What do you mean?”
>”Not too long ago there was a really pretty mare here looking for him too.”
>This is concerning news.
“What did she look like?”
>”She had a soft looking white coat and a really, really pretty green mane.”
>You're feeling the crushing feeling coming on again.
“What was her name?”
>“Umm...”
“Tell me what her name was!”
>Derpy takes a step back, shock clearly displayed on her face.
>Shock and a little bit of... fear?
“I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on with me today.”
>”That's okay... I'm sure you'll be feeling better after you get some rest.”
“Please, do you remember her name? I'm sure you know everypony in Ponyville.”
>”That's just it, I don't know her.”
“What?”
>”I've never seen her before today.”
“And yet she was here, asking for Anon in particular?”
>”Your face is looking funny again, do you need me to go get Nurse Redheart?”
“NO!”
>Derpy flinches at the sudden outburst.
“I'm really sorry, I'm... I'm gonna get going now.”
>”Yeah...”
>You power walk away from Anon's house and run in a dead sprint to Sweetie Drops as soon as you can no longer see Derpy.
>What is wrong with you?
>You're never like this..
>It's starting to worry you a bit.
>Maybe you should send a letter to Celestia asking for advice?
>Sweetie Drops is right ahead.
>Just as you reach the edge of the window you come to a dead halt.
>Anon is talking to a pony you've never seen before.
>This has got to be the one Derpy was telling you about.
>You don't know why, but you feel it will be really bad if you go in right now.
>So you sit on the spot and peek through the corner of the display window.
>You can't hear what they're saying.
>You gasp.
>Sh-she's sucking on his finger!
>The edges of your vision turn a dark green.
>Does Anon have a marefriend from out of town?
>He couldn't have... could he?
>No Twilight, stay calm. You need to study the situation.
>You close your eyes and take a moment to steady your nerves.
>When you look back into the window your blood turns to ice.
>It was only for a split second, but you're certain you saw it.
>The mystery mare turned into Chrysalis.
>Anon had to have seen it.
>He was looking right at her, why isn't he freaking out?
>For that matter why is she even in Ponyville?
>More importantly, why is she looking for Anon!?
>Something doesn't add up here.
>You shake your head to clear away the fog again and continue watching.
>Again!
>You can see it plain as day, Chrysalis is standing in the center of the store and Anon doesn't seem bothered by it in the least.
>In fact, he's buying her food!
“I..he..what?”
>Is Anon plotting with Queen Chrysalis to overthrow Equestria?
>Or even worse... is Anon interested in her?
>But shes evil.
>Does Anon have an interest in evil women?
>Is that why he never came on to you like they do in your romance novels?
>You can't stay and watch any longer.
>You slowly back away and go find a nearby bench to rest on.
>The shock of everything has left you weary.
>After resting for a bit you hear a door jingle and see the mare... Chrysalis walk by.
>She freezes on the spot you stare each other down for several seconds before she sticks her nose in the air and continues walking.
>That does it, you have to find out now.
>Taking a deep breath, you steady your nerves and walk into the store.
>Anon is sitting at the register with his head down on the counter and hasn't even noticed you yet.
>”What's the matter, do you miss me already?”
>It's now or never.
”Actually... yes.”
>Anon practically jumps off of the counter when he sees it's you.
>The expression he has isn't a happy one and it causes a pain in your heart.
>”Hey there Twilight, I wasn't expecting you to stop in.”
>You know this isn't going to be a fun conversation but it looks like fate decided to kick you in the pants for your procrastination.
>Stepping out from behind the counter you motion over to one of the tables and invite Twilight to come sit with you.
>Nodding slowly, she tentatively walks over and sits across from you.
>”So...”
“Yeah.”
>This is awkward.
>The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes.
>Twilight nervously looks everywhere but your direction and you feel the knot in your stomach worsening the longer this goes on.
>Time to bite the proverbial bullet Anon.
“Ah fuck it.”
>Twilight snaps her head back in your direction
>”Huh?”
”Twilight I owe you an apology.”
>”Wait, what?”
“Granted, I was a bit on edge since I was just treated like a chew toy, but that does not excuse the way I acted toward you.”
>Twilight sits in silence while you continue.
“However, the way you came off and accused me doesn't sit well with me either.”
>Hearing this, Twilight's face falls and she stares down at the table.
“We were both pretty emotional and probably didn't quite say the best of things that could have been said in that situation.”
>”Yeah.. I guess you're right.”
“For a change?”
>This elicits a snort from the pony.
>”Don't get used to it.”
“Oh no?”
>”You tried to give a tonsillectomy to a giant timberwolf.”
“Yeah, and?”
>”That is really up there on the list of wrong things to do.”
“I suppose.”
>”And knowing you, if you haven't already added something to that list I'm sure you will soon.”
>You think back to your interactions with Princess Luna as well as somewhat harboring the changeling queen.
“You're probably right Twiggles.”
>Twilight looks up from the table and stares at you.
“Do I have something on my face?”
>Twilight smiles ever so slightly.
>”No, it just feels like it's been a while since you called me that and I kinda missed it.”
“That's different.”
>”It's not just the name.”
“What do you mean?”
>”I haven't really seen much of you in quite a while and the little I did see you recently, that ended horribly.”
“That's pretty much spot on.”
>”We used to hang out, make jokes, and just have fun together.”
>Twilight looks like she's getting a little shaky.
>”I miss the times I spent with you, I miss you teasing me.”
>Twilight's breath is coming out in short gasps now.
>Even if she does get a little psychotic here and there, seeing her like this is wrenching your heart.
>Getting up, you walk over to Twilight and pull her into a hug.
>As if on cue, Twilight latches onto you and begins crying into your shirt.
>”I miss you, I miss.. us.”
>Oh god, not this.
>Anything but this.
“Twilight, you're my friend, and we did have some pretty fun times together.”
>Twilight's breath catches.
>Here it comes.
>You pause to take a breath and steady your nerves.
“But... there is no 'us'. There never was an 'us'.”
>Twilight's previously soft sobs have turned turn into an outright wail now.
>”I know! Please... just let me have hope.”
“Twi...”
>”No! I don't want to hear you say it.”
>You pull the sobbing mare into a tight hug and gently pet her mane.
“Shhh...”
>”Please, I'll do anything. Just don't say... that.”
>You can't take much more of this.
“Listen, things are pretty rough between us right now.”
>Twilight removes herself from your embrace and looks up at you.
>Puffy eyed, sniffling, ponies are not something you know how to handle.
>The fact that you're the cause of this one makes your self respect shatter like the poor mare's dreams.
“I'm gonna set up a little party and invite a few ponies from town.”
>”Alright?”
“What do you say Tiwggles, will you be my pony of honor?”
>”I.. I don't know right now.”
“Just think it over a bit alright? I figure it'll be okay for everybody if I set it for Friday night.”
>”Friday night?”
“Yeah. I think some fun and socialization will do you some good.”
>”Alright Anon, I'll think about it.”
“Let me know as soon as you decide please. I have an idea or two that I would need your help with.”
>A spark of life returns to Twilight's eyes.
>”You would need my help?”
“Yup.”
>”What would you need?”
>You ruffle Twilight's mane, forcing a small smile onto her face.
“Not yet, but trust me it's something only you can do.”
>”Something only I can do..”
“The incredible Empress Twilight would be the savior of the party.”
>”Empress?”
“It's like a queen back home.”
>”I can't be a queen.”
“Well why not?”
>”That would mean I would have to be stronger than Princess Celestia and there is no way I can do that.”
“You're already a Princess remember? So I think it isn't out of the realm of possibility.”
>Is she blushing?
>”Do you really think so?”
“Absolutely. Plus you'd look really sexy in one of those flowing gowns.
>Oh yeah, she's definitely blushing now.
>Way to say the day Anon.
>”Would I really look sexy?”
“Yup.”
>”Even... to you?”
>You can see the hope on her face.
>It looks like you don't have a say in this one.
>Taking a knee, you cup her chin and gently pull her towards you.
>Mere inches away from her face, you whisper into her ear.
“Especially me.”
>Twilight's face lights up in a full blush and she quickly back peddles.
>”IfIbecamepowerfulenoughtobeatPrincessCelestiaandworeoneofthosefancydressesyou'dthinkIwassexy?”
>You couldn't keep up with the verbal tide.
>Something about Princess Celestia looking sexy in a dress you think.
“Uh... Yes?”
>”OkaythanksAnonIloveyouandI'lldefinitelybeatyourpartyfriday!”
>And with that Twilight bolts out of the store leaving you standing there in complete bewilderment.
“What the hell was that?”
>When the bewilderment fades you cant help but laugh.
>As mean as it is making Twilight all flustered like that, turnabout is fair play.
>Especially considering how she loves to give you the 'fuck me' look.
>Dirty pony.
>Returning to your seat behind the register, you look up at the clock by the door.
>It's around 3pm.
>Luckily for you, you only have another three hours or so until you can close up shop and get outta here.
>Getting comfortable on the counter, you rest your head in your arms and close your eyes.
>Just as the comforting embrace of sleep reaches for you the door bell jingles jostling you out of your comfortable haze.
>Groggily looking up you find yourself nose to snoot with Princess Luna.
>What is she doing out in Ponyville?
>Especially during the daylight hours?
>”Greetings Anon.”
“Hey Princess, long time no dream eh?”
>”Not that long to our knowledge.”
“It was a lame joke, never mind.”
>”Ah, we get it now.”
>Scratching your head, you sit up straighter.
>No need to look like a total slob in front of royalty.
“So uh, princess?”
>”Yes?”
“Not that I mind the company or anything, but what brings you all the way to Ponyville. Especially during the waking hours?”
>The princess gives you the increasingly familiar deadpan stare.
>”Where exactly does thou think we are?”
”We're in Bonny's shop.”
>Princess Luna continues to stare at you.
>Oh.
“I dozed off on the counter didn't I?”
>She nods.
“Welp, that explains why you're here I suppose.”
>”Indeed.”
“Wait, why ARE you here anyway?”
>”We wished to speak with you tonight, but seeing as we are here now this was far more convenient.”
“Ah, I gotcha. So what's up Moonie?”
>Princess Luna cocks her head to the side.
>”What does... Moonie mean?”
“It's a nickname.”
>”Are thou always so casual with royalty?”
“Only when they walk around in my head without even wiping their feet first.”
>You point to the trail of dirt that suddenly appeared behind the princess.
>”What!?”
>Princes Luna looks at each of her hooves.
>”We do not have dirty hooves!”
>You laugh at the princess's expense before willing the dirt away.
“You know, I didn't even think that would work.”
>Princess Luna looks at you with a faint smile on her face.
>”Your growing prowess in the dream realm impresses, and pleases us.”
“I know I'm fancy and all that, but why does me playing around in my own head make you happy?”
>”It has been ages since we were able to enjoy the company of one who can manipulate the dreams in such a way as us.”
“So is it that you're bored or lonely?”
>”Lonely?”
>The princess takes a nervous half-step back.
>”Surely thou jest at our expense again.”
>Well hot shit.
“Hey now, it's perfectly alright for anyone to feel lonely.”
>Her face has a steady blush creeping up it now.
>”I-we can assure you that is most certainly not the case.”
“So you can speak in the first person.”
>Princess Luna gasps and then sticks her tongue out in your direction.
>”Do not make fun of our speech patterns. It has been most difficult trying to adjust to the modern day ways of speech.”
“So why do you refer to yourself as 'we' anyway?”
>Luna looks down at the floor and frowns.
>”T'was a time long ago when we tried to rule all of Equestria and were banished to the moon as punishment.”
>Looks like Princess Moonie was a bit of a wild girl in her hayday.
>Nifty.
“I dunno Moonie....”
>”Hmm?”
“I find it hard to believe that you could try taking over the world looking..well... like you.”
>”We didn't look as we do now.”
“No?”
>”No we did not.”
“Is there any way you could show me?”
>”Tis a matter we are still uncomfortable with.”
“Come on Luna, we're in my head. Who's gonna see besides me?”
>”We suppose you have a point.”
“Plus I'm really curious.”
>”We do not have many ponies we socialize with, are th... you sure you won't be afraid?”
>So the moon princess is lonely because she doesn't really have friends?
>Looks like you're gonna have to man up.
>You walk around the counter and put a hand on her shoulder.
>Luna's eyes widen but she doesn't attempt to remove you hand.
>That is a good sign.
“We're friends, aren't we?”
>”We...are?”
“Hey now, after you've tramped dirt around in my head we had better be friends.”
>”We do not have dirty hooves!”
“No you don't, but it got you to stop being nervous didn't it?”
>Luna ponders for a moment before nodding her head in agreement.
>”Well played Anon.”
“So are we gonna do this?”
>Luna hesitantly nods and takes a few steps back.
>”We will do this for you, but we are nervous.”
“Nervous? I already said I wasn't going to run away screaming.”
>”No, it is not that.”
“Then what?”
>”While it is true that Nightmare Moon may have been banished, we feel that she still slumbers within us.”
>Uh-oh.
>”We, no, I am afraid that she may resurface if I take on her shape.
>Maybe this isn't the best of ideas after all.
“Maybe we shou-”
>Too late.
>The light level in the room drops significantly and the world outside of the fades away into darkness.
>Tendrils of inky blackness swirl around the princess, creating a orb of pure blackness.
>After a few tense seconds of silence the orb explodes into a fiery nova swirling with what look like stars.
>The inferno somehow cracks in half and fades away as... something walks out.
>It looks like Luna except it's completely black and wearing a blue armored chest piece and helmet.
>Her eyes snap open revealing teal orbs with slit pupils.
>She looks in your direction and laughs maniacally.
>As she laughs, her teeth lengthen and shape into flesh ripping fangs.
>She looks both terrifying and somehow beautiful.
>While shes laughing you slowly approach her.
>”AT LAST, I HAVE RETURNED! I AM-”
“Beautiful...”
>Putting one hand on her shoulder, your gently run the other one down the side of her neck.
>Nightmare Moon's eyes widen in shock and she quickly steps away from you.
>”WHAT IS THIS?”
“Simply beautiful.”
>”I KNOW YOU, YOU'RE THE ONE SHE IS FOND OF.”
“Moonie?”
>Nightmare Moon throws her head back and laughs.
>”NOT QUITE FOOLISH MORTAL. BECAUSE OF YOUR CURIOSITY I HAVE BEEN REAWAKENED AT LAST!”
“So what should I call you then?”
>She stares at you with the same expression you have become accustomed to seeing Luna wearing.
>”DO NOT TELL ME YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO I AM.”
>You shrug your shoulders.
“Nope, not a clue. Sorry.”
>Her confidence seems to falter a bit.
>”I AM NIGHTMARE MOON, THE TERROR OF THE NIGHT AND THE SOON TO BE RULER OF EQUESTRIA!”
“Nightmare Moon?”
>”THAT IS CORRECT.”
>Resting your hand on your chin, you begin pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace.
“Luna is Moonie, so what should I call you?”
>Nightmare Moon is unaccustomed to beings not fleeing in terror from her so she just stands and watches you pace back and forth.
>”WHAT ARE YOU MUMBLING TO YOURSELF OVER THERE? SPEAK UP!”
“Ah! I've got it!”
>Your sudden outburst causes Nightmare Moon to stumble briefly in surprise.
>”WHAT?”
>You dramatically thrust your finger in her direction.
“Nightmare Moon is too long to say in conversation so I shall henceforth call you Nightie!”
>She stares at you in silence as her jaw hangs slightly askew.
>”Are you mad?”
>Hey lookit that, she stopped shouting.
>”WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT?”
>Never mind, spoke too soon.
“What? I don't think it's a bad name. It's kinda cute actually.”
>”...Cute?”
>Suddenly her eyes flare open.
>”NO! I AM NOT READY TO GO BACK!”
>Rearing up, she clutches her head and screams.
>Her entire body shatters like broken glass, revealing a panting Princess Luna in her place.
>”Anon!”
>The princess runs over and begins shaking you with her magic.
>”Are thou hurt!?”
“I will be if you don't stop shaking me.”
>Luna quickly jumps back in embarrassment.
>”We are deeply sorry, when we felt her awaken we panicked and tried to force her back into slumber.”
“Hey, no sweat.”
>”What did she do to you?”
“Well a lot of yelling mostly. Oh wait, she stopped yelling when I called her cute.”
>Luna looks puzzled.
>”Thou called her... cute?”
“Well, I called her Nightie and said the name was cute, but close enough.”
>”So that's why.”
“Why what?”
>”She feels... pleased somehow.”
“Wait, you can 'feel' her?”
>”We do not know if it is something to do with the manipulations of the dream realm or something unknown, but she still wakes.”
“Huh, that's unexpected.”
>”Indeed.”
“Bringing the topic back to before, why are you here?”
>”Changelings all over Equestria have suddenly left their habitual areas and fled into the forests.”
“Odd, but alright.”
>”We were hoping you would know why the changeling's behavior suddenly shifted.”
“Oh, I gotcha. Because I'm friends with Chrysalis right?”
>”As odd as it sounds to hear that, yes.”
“Sorry, I haven't a clue.”
>”Tis a shame.”
“Hey Moonie?”
>”Hmm?”
“I should probably wake up soon and make sure the store isn't on fire.”
>Luna looks around sheepishly.
>”Ah yes, we had enjoyed your company so much that we had forgotten about your duties.”
“No worries, but I was wondering something since I have you here at the moment.”
>”What do you wish to know?”
“I'm throwing a party Friday night at my house. It would be awesome if you could come.”
>Luna's face erupts into a furious blush again.
>”We shall do out best to attend.”
“I'm counting on ya.”
>With that everything goes white and you find yourself laying facedown on the countertop of the shop.
>Looking up at the clock you find that it's time to close up shop and go check on Bonny.
>Maybe you should swing by the bar on the way home and get several bottles of Applejack Daniels and Whiskey Trotts.
>Not that you're usually a heavy drinker, but in order for what you're planning to work, you'll need to either be insane or completely drunk off your ass.
>So yeah, definitely gonna hit the bar tonight.
>And while you're at it, you're gonna go see a purple pony about magicking a few more things over.