Whirlpool Quest – Review by Anon

By: Anon
Originally posted: 09.08.2016
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Whirlpool Quest Review
8 threads read out of 12 along with the start of thread 9.

>Synopsis
You are sent to another planet to collect water for your dehydrated planet. You end up getting a waifu instead.

>Setting
There’s some variety in the landscape, as there rightfully should be when you’re travelling the world. Though, everything is quickly sidetracked as characters are introduced, fleshing out the world by efficient infodumps. Efficient, but infodumps nonetheless. It provides the motivations for a large group of characters while giving the player a goal to obtain. Do take note that this goal is better written, seeing as how it is decided by the player. It’s more personal; it’s a goal created with agency.

>Joke Inputs
The main character emerges in a hostile alien world as a futanari with cat ears on her diving helmet. It’s added to the OP posts while in updates there are constant references to hormonal imbalances. Although it dies down later on, it was irritating to read. With every humoring of joke inputs, the mood of the quest is undermined further and further. This doesn’t appear to be a joke quest, nor does it seem the QM intended it to be one.

>Voice
Voice is very much there, in both narrative and dialogue. Unfortunately, I find the speech of the designated love interest to be awful in conjunction with the writing style. When the main character is brought to said interest’s town, it’s quickly revealed that everybody here converses like a robot.

“I am 20 years of age. Do note that, compared to our first generation, our bodies age much slower upon reaching physical maturity to maximize our lifespans. Does that sate your curiosity?”

There’s nothing inherently wrong with characterizing characters a certain way. It is with the conjunction of the detached narrative tone that makes me think, “Am I watching a robot describe a conversation between two other robots?”

Unsurprisingly, the story turns south when it vomits exposition in dense paragraphs. Information of this nature especially should be doled out with the passage of time. Speaking of robots, often times dialogue is replaced by a summary.

“Errai apologizes for the ramshackle aesthetic and claims that the place is genuinely clean despite its appearance. You tell her that it's okay and ask her about what they eat here.”

This is the definition of detached. The player is often taken out of the moment and is being told the story second hand, leaving them feeling as if they’ve been left in the cold. It is only for a moment, however, as the story picks back up at an exciting pace. There is a moment when two characters of opposing cultures meet; a moment where their differing voices are glaringly clear. I’ll choose to refrain from spoiling, but do keep in mind this was only a relatively small segment of the quest.


>Direction
Whirlpool quest is a drawquest that operates solely on write-ins until later where occasional prompts are given. QMing a write-in only quest is difficult. Often times at the end of updates there shouldn’t be a prompt. There’s nothing to do, and the only thing there is to do is to continue the story. What happens instead are small slice of life moments created by grasping at straws, all made tedious by the update speed. Imagine waiting for hours for an update that amounts to you drawing a crude finger-painting on a countertop, because that did happen. If there are no prompts, integrate them in the story seamlessly. How can a player offer something when there are no tools to use?

As the story progresses, this problem is bettered by experience. With both a clear goal and more carrots being dangled, there is certainly more room to work with than previously.

>Mechanics
The die rarely does anything of significance, but there is a 1d6.

The drawings are cute. Boasting a consistent theme of “heartwarmingly adorable,” they are a nice replacement for intense description in the narration. A lovely addition, undoubtedly.

Update times are sporadic. They can range from a few hours to “whoops, I fell asleep my bad.” The QM does announce when there is an update on discord, however. The problem is not so much about the long wait but with the inconsistency. I’d imagine this quest to be difficult to keep up with.

A small thing to note but there seems to be a lack of open threads: unfinished plotlines or small hints to a deeper exposition. Rarely would you find a detail being brought into relevancy from a thread way back. Not necessary, but the story would be more interesting for it. This does happen once, but only once so far.

As for grammar, there’s little to point out. Mistakes are unobtrusive and shouldn’t impact anything.

>Final Thoughts
If you enjoy drawquests, I would say give it a whirl(pool). Despite the rough beginning, you’d find that there’s a surprising amount of thought and love being put into the world. With every thread you’ll find the experience to be smoother, and perhaps you’ll be sucked into something interesting. With 8.1 threads in, I will firmly appraise Whirlpool Quest with a score of:

LOVELY WORLDBUILDING/10

Don’t be turned off by the fact that it’s a “fanfic quest”; it’s original enough to stand by on its own legs. With that, let me conclude with my favorite moment.

“You blatantly admit that you want to engage in explicit sexual relations with her vaginal cavity.”