first writefag tale

>be me
>twenty year old loser neet succubus
>okay maybe that's a bit harsh
>but it's true
>mom finally forces me to get a job at Burger Queen
>this sucks
>i'd much rather be at home, shitposting on /hubby/ right now
>well, I could easily do something that could get me fired
>and it would have my mom try to search for some new job applications while I'm back at the comfort of my desk for a few days
>there's this one thing keeping me here tho
>cute human boy
>well, cute hulk of a man anyway
>construction worker and all that
>comes in every day at 11:30 AM to grab some grub
>I heard his friends call him "Anon"
>now if there's one thing my mom has bothered me about more than a job, it's to get a husband
>not that I haven't tried mind you
>it's just that most of my relationships are ones that I try to establish online
>and I have a tendency to get catfished by this group of cheshires online that think they're REALLY funny
>but there's an actual human man right here
>and getting a husband, or at least a boyfriend, would probably get my mom off my back a lot more
>not to mention that he's really hot
>I may or may not have taken a "bathroom break" a few times during particularly hot days
>when all that hot sweat highlights all of his muscles
>aw yeah
>wait I think I was going somewhere with this
>...
>oh right
>need boyfriend
>all those hours in Human Seduction Simulator EX is finally going to pay off
>he's coming in
>time to turn up the charm
>"Hello, may I [spoiler]take your order[/spoiler] fuck you into the ground?" I ask seductively
>wait no no not that forward––
>"What?" he asks. "I'm sorry, but I forgot to take out my headphones. What did you say?"
>oh thank Lilith
>the order goes on as normal, with him asking for a tripple whapper combo meal with large fries & a large Dr. Raper to go
>start to realize that I don't actually know how to flirt with anybody
>normally in Human Seduction Simulator EX I'd just reload a save & try again
>but this is shitty real life
>pain
>he leaves, with me having made absolutely no progress
>...wait a minute
>he forgot to take his large Dr. Raper
>now's my chance to confront him!
>I run after him outside with the large Dr. Raper in my hand
>this is a golden opportunity
>after I give Anon his drink, I can strike up an actual conversation
>I'm almost there, now I just gotta––
>I trip & fall on an inconveniently placed banana peel
>soda gets fucking everwhere
>all over my shirt
>all over Anon's shoes
>I think I scraped my knee a bit too
>"u-umm, I uhh..." I start saying while getting up
>"I-I'm terribly sorry. I'll g-go get you another soda"
>I turn around with my clothes soaking wet, headed my way back towards the restaurant
>"hey wait" I hear
>I turn around & see him pointing at my shirt
>is that [nerdy but recognizable franchise]?
>"wha- oh yeah it is"
>we end up talking for a bit
>turns out that he's a bit of a nerd himself
>obviously not a neet like I am, but it's not like I was looking for those aspects in anyone
>we continued talking for a bit, and we start to hit it off quite a bit
>eventually we both needed to get back to our jobs, so we said our farewells
>my manager nagged at me for a bit when I got back into the restaurant
>but it's not like it really matters, cuz I got a cute boy's number at the end of the day
>...wait
>aw fuck I forgot to ask his number