Grown Ups 2 (2013)

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akumenang.com

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(WHISPERING) Sweetheart.

3
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Mmm?

4
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Go over to the window right now

5
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and open it as wide as you can.

6
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Please let me sleep.

7
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(MUNCHING)

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I think your
mother's here from Mexico,

9
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and she needs to leave.

10
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Open the window now.

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(GROANS) Why don't you
open it, you lazy...

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(GASPS)

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(SCREAMING)

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(ROARING)

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Somebody help!

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Close your mouth!

17
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No way. Can I ride him?

18
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(SCREAMING)

19
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(SCREAMING)

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A deer!

21
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(MUTTERING FRANTICALLY)

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(EXHALES) Okay.

23
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Daddy,
I left the front door open

24
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in case any animals
wanted to come in.

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You did, huh?
And one did.

26
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Yeah.
Yeah, one crazy-ass one.

27
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Oh, no, you did a nice thing,
sweetheart.

28
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Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!

29
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Daddy, no!

30
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No, no, I'm not
going to hit the deer.

31
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I'm just going to massage his
head for a little bit with it.

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Okay, come on, come on.

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(WHIMPERS)

34
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He's right here.

35
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He's eating Bowser's food.

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Shh.

37
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Okay, he knows we're here now.

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Stay. Stay.

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What's he looking at?

40
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Move your doll towards me.

41
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And back to you.

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Towards me.

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Back to you.

44
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Three times, fast.

45
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Give me that thing.

46
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Mr. Gigglesworth?

47
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No, don't worry.
Give it to me.

48
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Go on. It's okay.
It's okay.

49
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Put it in my hand.

50
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Roxanne, take them in there.

51
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Over there.

52
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Hey, dude.
You like this guy?

53
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Huh?

54
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You want to play with him?

55
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All right, let's go
play in the other room.

56
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Come on. Come on, man.

57
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Slowly walk with me.

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I said slowly.

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No.

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Ah! Ah!

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Get out of the way!

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Oh, my God!

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Problem solved.

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Mr. Gigglesworth!
Daddy, he's killing him!

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A new problem begins.

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I'm sorry.

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Is that your bra, Mrs. Feder?

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(SIGHS)

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Easy.

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Ew.

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It is nice.

72
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Thank you, all right.
Cool, yeah.

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Yeah, come on.

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28?

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Yes.

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35.

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That's right again,
smarty-pants.

78
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Hi, Dad.

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Hey, Bean,
working on the math, huh?

80
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Yep.

81
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Mommy said if I get all
my math questions right,

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I get to ride my bike to
school with Becky Feder.

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Really? Okay, Bean, well,
what's seven plus nine?

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Seventy-nine.

85
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Is he a little boy
or a computer?

86
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'Cause (HOARSELY)
I can't figure it out.

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Don't destroy his confidence.

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Happy summer, everybody.

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ERIC: Whoa.

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Okay, you sure you want to go
with those boots, honey?

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I know you
bedazzled them yourself.

92
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I'm just wondering
if they'll attract

93
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too much attention,
you know, from outer space.

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It's the last day of school,

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and Mom says I'm
free to express myself.

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Oh, building the confidence
right here with R2-D2.

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Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y.

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Confidence.

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Well, we're not gonna have to
pay for college.

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That's for sure.
(CHUCKLING)

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Well, looks like a horse took
a dump in Ronnie's diaper.

102
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You're gonna need federal aid
to clean that up.

103
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Ronnie, honey, did a doo-doo
grenade go off in your diaper?

104
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You gonna change it?

105
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That's not my son,
that's your son.

106
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Ah ha ha! Yesterday
was my diaper day.

107
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Today he is all yours, and
it's gonna get nasty. Whoo!

108
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(CHUCKLES) Go, Ronnie.

109
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Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
ANDRE: Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.

110
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He looks like Nicki Minaj

111
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trying to shake her butt
implants back into place.

112
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BOTH: Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.

113
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Come on, Ronnie.

114
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Go, Ronnie.

115
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You got a lot of
appointments today, sweetie?

116
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Nah, just one repair job.

117
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Very special.

118
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All right, I'm going in.

119
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What is...

120
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What is this?

121
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A necklace?

122
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Happy 20th anniversary, babe.

123
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Wow, Dad, you remembered.

124
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Oh, yeah.

125
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Mom didn't.

126
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Oh! That's cold.

127
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MARCUS: I think I'm gonna
bust out of here.

128
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WOMAN: So he gets off
the train and nobody's there?

129
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Braden needs to spend
at least one summer with you

130
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so he can say he has a dad,
you deadbeat, Higgins.

131
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Well, not to be mean,

132
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but I'm not even
1,000% sure who you are.

133
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WOMAN: I was up from Florida.

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Right in
the middle of making out,

135
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I got a really bad
case of the hiccups.

136
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Hiccups McGee?

137
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:13,719
Oh, my God, I have a kid I don't
know about with Hiccups McGee?

138
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,519
And no offense,
but I'm gonna have to ask

139
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,799
for a DNA test, you know,

140
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,326
because you just never...

141
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No need.

142
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Later, Hiccups.

143
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You're him.

144
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Yeah, without the hat.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

145
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It's actually a good likeness.

146
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How you doing, man?

147
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I'm your dad.

148
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Nice to see you, Braden.

149
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That's strike one.

150
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,044
Good news is, you get...

151
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:57,969
Unlimited amount of strikes.

152
00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:59,479
Um...

153
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,164
How about I take you to school?

154
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No school.

155
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,239
Summertime.
Oh.

156
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,959
Not yet. One more day.
I know, it's a drag.

157
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,599
Normally I'd let you just
blow it off and play hooky,

158
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,959
but I'm volunteering
at the soup kitchen today,

159
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,599
so when I'm done,

160
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I'll come pick you
up and we'll hang out.

161
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,479
I got you this, but...

162
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,759
Obviously you're,
like, 13, so I don't know,

163
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,279
but it's actually pretty nice

164
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,647
and cute, and you should
out the head off it, okay.

165
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Well, let's get going.

166
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:30,805
Yo, yo,
yo, yo, don't forget this.

167
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:32,439
Is it a gift?

168
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,759
No, it's
the Gigglesworth massacre.

169
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I told Becky you could
sew it back together for her.

170
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What?

171
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Martha Stewart
couldn't fix this.

172
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,439
Come on.

173
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:45,439
Oh, but you're such a good daddy
for picking up all the pieces.

174
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,119
That's why I've been thinking,

175
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,759
we moved back
here to your hometown

176
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,439
so we could have more quality
time with our family, right?

177
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,601
That's right.

178
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:56,799
How would you
feel about expanding?

179
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:57,801
Having another kid?

180
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:58,967
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

181
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,799
Oh, but it's perfect
right now, you know?

182
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,279
If I buy one large pizza,
Greg gets two pieces,

183
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,999
Keith gets two, Becky gets
one, you get one, I get four.

184
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,240
It's kind of perfect, you know.

185
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,921
I don't want to have
to buy another pie.

186
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,527
Why don't you go on a diet,
fat gordo éste?

187
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,519
Come on, I've had
a job since I'm 16.

188
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,519
It's the first time
I've got a free schedule.

189
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,159
I'm just enjoying the fun.

190
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,731
Don't forget Becky's
ballet recital at 11:00.

191
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,759
I got to go to that?

192
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,967
I mean, I get to
go to that? Great.

193
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,767
I'm saying, that's... I thought it was sold out.
That's great news.

194
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,039
Have the best last day of
school, my gorgeous children!

195
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,399
I love you all!

196
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,919
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Mom, bye.

197
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,048
KEITHIE: Yeah,
last day of school, Greg.

198
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,159
Last chance to ask
out Nancy Arbuckle.

199
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,319
Nancy Arbuckle... What's that?
You like a girl?

200
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,839
Is that why you've been taking
them long showers?

201
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,365
No, I'm conditioning my hair.

202
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,119
That's all I do in the shower...
Condition my hair.

203
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,439
That's not what
the deer told me.

204
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,719
That deer's a liar.

205
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:53,999
(LAUGHING)

206
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,083
I heard too much conditioning
can make you go blind.

207
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,599
What? Where'd you hear that?

208
00:09:58,600 --> 00:09:59,681
Higgins.

209
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:00,887
I should kill him.

210
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,844
He's too chicken
to ask her out, Dad,

211
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,639
'cause she's
the hottest girl in school,

212
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:05,799
and Greg is fugly.

213
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,359
So what he's fugly? All the
guys in our family are fugly.

214
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,279
That don't stop us from
getting the hot chicks.

215
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,319
Look at me and look at your mother.
I mean, it makes no sense.

216
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,999
Only in, like, a Hollywood
movie or something.

217
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,729
Every guy in
school likes her, Dad.

218
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,119
And you'll be the guy
who ends up with her.

219
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,959
You know why? You're gonna
follow my three-step program.

220
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,440
Number one,
make the girl smile.

221
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,879
Number two, tell her
she has a nice smile.

222
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,319
Number three, say she has to
go out with you that night.

223
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:30,287
Why that night?

224
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,799
'Cause it gives her less time to
think about how fugly you are.

225
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,039
'Cause you are fugly.

226
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,799
That's the stupidest
thing I ever heard.

227
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,088
And Keithie's right... I'm too
chicken to even talk to her.

228
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,239
Hey, you're a Feder. Feders
ain't afraid of women, buddy.

229
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,959
That's not
the way I'm raising you.

230
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,239
Oh, by the way, Dad, did you ask
Mom if I can play football?

231
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,639
No, I was scared.

232
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,085
I'm afraid she's
gonna yell at me

233
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,759
in that accent that
no one understands.

234
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,683
Come on, Becky, it's 8:00.

235
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,399
School starts at 8:15.

236
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,563
That means we
only have 25 minutes.

237
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,839
Daddy, you promise Mr. Gigglesworth
will be better by bedtime?

238
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,491
Will you stop worrying about him?
He'll be fine. I love you.

239
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,399
Have the best last day, okay?
Okay.

240
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,599
Bye, guys.
Bye, Daddy.

241
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:10,647
Love you.

242
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,879
And you read
the street signs, okay?

243
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,041
Don't let Bean.

244
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,239
My God,
riding their bikes to school.

245
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,919
Couldn't do that in L.A.
with the nuts out there.

246
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,730
Yeah, 'cause thank God there's
no crazy people out here.

247
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:24,844
(TIRES SCREECHING)

248
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,480
How you doing, Nick?

249
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,119
My wife's leaving
me after three weeks.

250
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,559
Three weeks?
That's not bad for you.

251
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,079
What happened?

252
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,448
She found me eating
a banana with my butt.

253
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,439
Ah. And she didn't like that?

254
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,522
Yeah,
she got really bummed out,

255
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,689
but, you know, I shouldn't have
done it at her mom's house.

256
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,404
Yeah, you...

257
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,239
You seem like you're a little
extra out of it today.

258
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,366
What's going on?

259
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,839
Yeah, I'm a little medicated.

260
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,919
I met a very reliable doctor
at a Cypress Hill concert,

261
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,799
and he floated me a couple pills
just to feel better, you know.

262
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,879
(IN HIGH VOICE) But I
don't feel better!

263
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,530
(IN LOW VOICE) You feel worse!

264
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,122
Ladies and gentlemen,
meet your new bus driver.

265
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,359
Finally got yourself a job.

266
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,647
Actually I'm filling in for
Drool-io Iglesias back there.

267
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,968
(SNORING)

268
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,446
(SQUEALS)

269
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,849
Hey, Deanne, happy anniversary.

270
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,162
Oh! Thank you, Lenny.

271
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,159
Lenny remembered.
Isn't that sweet?

272
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,366
And I never got him pregnant.

273
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,726
She forgot?

274
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,001
Yeah, she forgot.

275
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,319
No.

276
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,679
I got the biggest get-out-of-jail-free
card in the world.

277
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,239
I want one of those.

278
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,839
Oh, you ain't never get one
like this. Hey, honey,

279
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,159
I'm gonna take
a ride to work with Lenny.

280
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,810
Don't worry about
forgetting the 20th.

281
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,524
I'm sure you'll
remember the 30th.

282
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,839
I love you.

283
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,571
Yeah, sure you do...
Deep down.

284
00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,039
That's not another
necklace in there, is it?

285
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,486
(SINGING)

286
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,606
I'm gonna abuse this
get-out-of-jail-free card,

287
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,159
I'm telling you right now.

288
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,439
I mean, maybe I'll walk on the good
rug without taking off my boots.

289
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,441
Oh!

290
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,370
Or have a nice
non-diet soda with my dinner.

291
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,239
Not just one, either,

292
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,439
a whole damn pitcher.

293
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,439
Oh, so you're going full gangsta.
Oh, yeah.

294
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,199
But you know what
I'd really like to do?

295
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,680
Throw a "first
night of summer" party.

296
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,085
Yeah. You know, something
a little crazy.

297
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,645
Well,
it's been many, many years

298
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,279
since we've done
something crazy.

299
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,719
Just one problem, though.

300
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,439
My house isn't big enough.

301
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,119
But yours is.
(GROANS)

302
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,759
Last party I had was senior
year in high school.

303
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,759
Yeah, that was, like,
the best night of my life.

304
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:38,761
We all hooked up with chicks.

305
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,719
Come on, why not do that again?

306
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,007
Because we already
have chicks and kids

307
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,479
and high
cholesterol now, so just...

308
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,599
It's time to move on. You want
to come over tonight with Dee,

309
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,919
that's fine... I think.

310
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,199
I got to ask my wife first.

311
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,199
Okay, gangsta.
(LAUGHS)

312
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:57,079
Hey, hey, where'd you get
those shoes, Losers "R" Us?

313
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,199
I made them.

314
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,719
You made them?

315
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,245
In a toilet? (LAUGHS)

316
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,719
That kid's like white Precious.

317
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,039
(LAUGHS)

318
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,079
Get lost, Duffy.

319
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,519
Yeah, leave her alone.

320
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,599
Hey, what'd you say, Hollywood?

321
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,840
You got something to say to me?

322
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,239
Nothing, nothing, nothing.

323
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,479
Attention, Kmart shoppers,
let's find a seat, please.

324
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,845
Yes,
you in the camouflage jacket

325
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,639
and Mariah Carey hairdo.

326
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,119
Yeah,
just pop a squat, thank you.

327
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,559
You're lucky your dad's here,
but he won't be here all day.

328
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,639
Leave me alone.

329
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,759
Beanbag with arms and legs,

330
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,119
seriously, take a seat,

331
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,119
or seats,
before someone gets hurt.

332
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,279
(KIDS LAUGHING)

333
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,123
You're dead, man.

334
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,564
(ALL CHUCKLING)

335
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,799
ROXANNE: I'm gonna go get
some things done,

336
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,719
and then I'm gonna go to my
daughter's ballet recital,

337
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,799
so you're on your
own until lunchtime.

338
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,928
Oh, no worries.
No one will come in anyway.

339
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,842
Right.

340
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,479
Does Leonard
ever talk about me?

341
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,999
Leonard?

342
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,039
Your husband.

343
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,679
Oh, Lenny.

344
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,039
I probably should have told you
this before I started working here,

345
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,044
but he used to be my boyfriend.

346
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,441
Oh.

347
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,839
When did you guys go out?

348
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:19,921
Sixth grade.

349
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,679
This one time,

350
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:25,526
we split a piece of bubble gum at recess.
(CHUCKLES)

351
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,679
I brought in a note

352
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:35,199
that he sent me, and I
thought you should see it.

353
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,044
I just felt weird
having a secret with you.

354
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:45,319
"Do you like my hair better
in a barrette or a headband?"

355
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,519
That's what I wrote.

356
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,319
"Barrette."

357
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,209
And that was his response.

358
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,719
Does it bother you
that I still wear it?

359
00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,281
Oh, no, no, no,
I think it's sweet.

360
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,842
I think he still
has feelings for me.

361
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,919
I'm gonna go work out now.

362
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,559
Do you really think
that a tight, toned body

363
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,879
will keep him away
from his Hubba Bubba baby?

364
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,963
I hope so. Bye.

365
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,447
You just messed with
the wrong girl, chica!

366
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,519
They spray-painted my baby.

367
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,239
Gee, and
everything's spelled right.

368
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,924
These can't be my students.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

369
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,441
Oh!

370
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,799
Have a nice day, Rapunzel.

371
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,559
Hey,
guys, can you believe this?

372
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,439
Calendar turns to June,

373
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,959
my wonderful students,
they become animals.

374
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,639
Maybe they're just
mad that you keep going

375
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,199
to the babyGap to
buy your clothes.

376
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,239
BOY: Hey, Principal Tardio,
good morning.

377
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,969
Right to class, right to class.

378
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,811
How was your last ride in
before the summer, Nick?

379
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,439
Remember,
today is only a half a day.

380
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,239
And a half a shirt, right?
What?

381
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,159
I said he wants to wave good-bye to you.
Oh, okay.

382
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,764
Here he goes.

383
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,599
I'm excited about the summer,
too.

384
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,759
Hey, that's my laptop!
That's not waterproof!

385
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,091
Monkey boy, monkey boy.

386
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,559
Summer!

387
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,599
Monkey boy.

388
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,679
Summer!

389
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,411
Summer! Summer!

390
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,609
So, what do you think?

391
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,359
Do I take you straight to work?

392
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,647
I got one
appointment I got to get to

393
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,119
sometime between 8:00 a.m.
and 4:00 p.m.

394
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,279
Okay.
But she can wait.

395
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,519
Good. And look at this.

396
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,284
He's back at it again.

397
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,879
Why isn't he at work?

398
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,406
He's just...
This woman has a grip on him.

399
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,000
It's ridiculous.
It's gonna ruin his marriage.

400
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,839
Thank you for breakfast, Mommy.

401
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,844
Will you be coming by to watch
Days of Our Lives later?

402
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,519
Well, we got to find out which
twin murdered Renaldo, right?

403
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,879
We sure do.

404
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,399
Mmm-hmm.
(BOTH LAUGH)

405
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,119
Okay.
LENNY: Hey, Mrs. Lamonsoff,

406
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,199
good to see you.

407
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,479
Nice school bus, Lenny.

408
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,239
Thank you. Have a great day.

409
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,119
Did Mommy make
the boo-boo go away?

410
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,919
Don't tell the wife.

411
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,119
What are you guys doing?

412
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,849
Get in.

413
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,039
Oh, hey, Nick.

414
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,199
Nice. Nice.

415
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,639
Let's hit it.

416
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,483
Watch this.

417
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,159
BOTH: Oh!
(ALL LAUGH)

418
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,207
Wow.

419
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,519
You got to respect that.

420
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,521
That was awesome.

421
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,848
What's Lenny's problem? They're
so cute when they're little.

422
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,199
I know. I miss it.

423
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,771
Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie.

424
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,359
(WOMEN GASP)

425
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,044
You miss that? Really?

426
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,639
Stay. Stay.
(GROWLING)

427
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:31,999
Don't you growl at me.

428
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,159
Stay, baby, stay.

429
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,359
Excuse me.

430
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,519
Is your kid gonna be in here
when the instructor comes in?

431
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,039
That's not my kid.

432
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,919
That's my lover,
and he's very gentle.

433
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,519
(SINGING)

434
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,679
Kids don't belong in here.

435
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,364
That leash
better not trip me up.

436
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,999
Leash isn't gonna trip you up.

437
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,083
It's your big-ass, hairy man
feet that are gonna trip you up.

438
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:53,481
(GRUNTS)

439
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,729
She was just
joking around, sir.

440
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,559
Cool it.
You're gonna get us killed.

441
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,086
DEANNE: I'm sorry.
I'm having the worst day.

442
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,407
Welcome to Squat Fitness,
ladies.

443
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,719
Apparently your new instructor's
running a bit late.

444
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,559
I'm sorry.
It's only five till...

445
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,404
Yeah, so he asked me to lead
you in some warm-up exercises.

446
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,719
So, everybody, up on your feet,

447
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,359
and let's take a deep breath.

448
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:18,646
(INHALES) Good.

449
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,039
Deeper... Really
stretch out those lungs.

450
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,279
And now let's shimmy.

451
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,719
Shake
the shoulders back and forth.

452
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,449
Shake them.

453
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,319
Very good, very good.

454
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,999
Yeah, oh, yeah.

455
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,446
Now let's do some
jackhammer squats.

456
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,079
Right, put your hands in front
of you like this. Just relax.

457
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,999
And then squat up
and down but fast.

458
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,639
Faster, faster, there you go.

459
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,719
Really fast.

460
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,399
Faster, faster.

461
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,319
Too fast.
Do it a little slower.

462
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,679
Now, everybody turn,

463
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,199
face the back of the room,
bend over,

464
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,759
and reach for your toes.

465
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:49,879
Why do we have to turn around?

466
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,041
If you please.

467
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:55,727
And bend over as
low as you can go.

468
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,447
Now take the right hand and slap
it against the right cheek.

469
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,365
Relax the wrist and slap
that right butt, slap it.

470
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,319
Good, I want to hear that slap.

471
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,687
Oh, yes, this is wonderful.

472
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,119
Morning, ladies.

473
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,639
You started without me?

474
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,802
Yes, just like you asked me to.

475
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,439
Say it's true even if it isn't.

476
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,239
(EXCLAMATIONS OF DISGUST) What?

477
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,005
Oh, you loved it!
You loved it!

478
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:23,321
(SCREAMING)

479
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,959
Yeah, that's my boy.

480
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,041
All right.

481
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,440
JANITOR: You're
all prostitutes!

482
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,519
Anyway. I'm Kyle,

483
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,439
and welcome to the summer
session of Squatrobics 101.

484
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,249
I wish they called
it something else,

485
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,279
but that's what
they told me to say.

486
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:42,079
Okay,
so, before we start for real,

487
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,279
any questions?

488
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,566
Yes.

489
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,039
Are you married?
(WOMEN CHUCKLE)

490
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,199
No.

491
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,439
Nope, I'm... I'm single.

492
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,239
Um...
Yeah.

493
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:54,639
(STAMMERING) I forgot. You're so
gorgeous, my head is spinning.

494
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:55,926
I'm sorry. God.

495
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,119
Go ahead.

496
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,205
I have a very important question,
and it's a two-parter.

497
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,924
The first part of
the question is,

498
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,759
"Did a scientist
make you in a lab?"

499
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,519
And the second part
of the question is,

500
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,919
"Can I stick my tongue down your
throat, please?" (WOMEN CHUCKLING)

501
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,679
All right, guys, look,
I'm flattered. Really, lam,

502
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:17,605
but most of you are married
and I happen to be gay.

503
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,359
(WOMEN GROAN
WITH DISAPPOINTMENT)

504
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,559
Of course he is.

505
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,279
All of 'em.
That sucks!

506
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,559
DEANNE: What a waste!

507
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,971
Stay out of my bag, little man.

508
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,159
Why does she have this?

509
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,439
That's not a jock strap,
that's a G-string.

510
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:30,441
(LAUGHING)

511
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,161
(GRUNTS)

512
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,079
Well, well, well,

513
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,759
if it isn't Hollywood

514
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,239
and the Squares.
(CHUCKLES)

515
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,559
Hey, Malcolm, I didn't
know you worked at Kmart,

516
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,399
and apparently the hair on top of
your head didn't know it, either.

517
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,639
What?

518
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:06,919
Do me a favor, go like this.

519
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,604
I think I got
something in my teeth.

520
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,079
What?
You know,

521
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,482
next time, you should use that
Chia Pet stuff on your whole head.

522
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:14,919
What?

523
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:15,959
Why is Higgins buying

524
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,371
O.J.'s knife right now?

525
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:18,481
You think you're tough?

526
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,679
KURT: Hey, Malcolm,

527
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,286
is that the knife the Indians
used to half-scalp you with?

528
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,679
I don't even get that.

529
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,039
What?

530
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,121
Oh, come on, let's cheer him up

531
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,599
Benny Hill-style.
Here we go.

532
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,799
ERIC: Come on,
come on, come on, come on...

533
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,039
LENNY: Does that make
you feel better?

534
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,919
Yo, Crocodile Dumb-dee,
how'd it go with the kid?

535
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,759
Good, good. He's in school.

536
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,759
Kid's in school for one day?

537
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,959
I didn't know what else to do.
He's a thug, Lenny.

538
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,599
He cut the head off a teddy bear.
Imagine what he'll do to me.

539
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,159
So you're gonna buy
this to cut his head off?

540
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,439
No, I just want him to think
I'll cut his head off

541
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,079
so then he won't
cut my head off.

542
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,050
You want to scare a relative
without causing permanent injury?

543
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,359
May I suggest this?

544
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:57,361
Ahhh!

545
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:03,999
Sir?
Sir? Can you get off the bed?

546
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,799
It's wake-up time.

547
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:10,479
Yeah, all right, Grandma, I'm up!
Stop yelling at me.

548
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,679
Now, why is... Being mean?

549
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,119
I like sleeping over.
It's just you always yell.

550
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,199
You don't have to yell at me.

551
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,079
I love you.

552
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,445
I don't understand.

553
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,165
(GRUNTING WITH EFFORT)

554
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,319
Clean-up, aisle nine.

555
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,839
Get out of me!

556
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,730
And bring a shovel.

557
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,439
So, my son Bumpty told me

558
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,159
he's gonna ask your daughter
out on a date at school today.

559
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,039
First of all, my daughter's never
been out on a date before,

560
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,999
and I'm sure she's not gonna start
off with some kid named Bumpty.

561
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,039
He is the only other
black kid in her grade.

562
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,919
Wait, you want her
to date a white guy?

563
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,519
Yeah, Farrakhan.

564
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,679
I'd rather she date the whitest
white guy in the world

565
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,762
than your little
bald-headed boy.

566
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,930
All right, but, you know,
don't worry when she says yes,

567
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,759
'cause I already
had the talk with him.

568
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,599
What talk?
Dating.

569
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,479
I told him how we used to roll
with the ladies in high school.

570
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,882
You know, beep-beep.
(MOANING)

571
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,559
(YELLING AGGRESSIVELY)

572
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,879
What?

573
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,399
I should get some
pepper spray for my kid.

574
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,919
Some moron on the bus
keeps messing with him,

575
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,799
and he refuses to fight back.

576
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,239
You know, that reminds me
of someone I know.

577
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,759
Who?
You.

578
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,759
What are you talking about?
I got in plenty of fights.

579
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,599
Remember ninth grade
when Tommy Cavanaugh

580
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,119
moved here from Texas?

581
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:32,679
He nonstop abused you,
and you did nothing about it.

582
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,599
Tommy Cavanaugh
was a 'roid freak.

583
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,679
He had back zits
on his back zits.

584
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,359
Plus, he was
joking around with me.

585
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:41,399
If it was real, I swear to God,
I would've knocked him out.

586
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:42,679
Hey, isn't that
Cavanaugh right there?

587
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,599
Where?
(ALL LAUGHING)

588
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,719
Gotcha.

589
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,919
That was really funny,
man, really funny.

590
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,684
Hey, you weren't
exactly Captain Courageous

591
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,649
when we were
growing up, now, were you?

592
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,603
Hey, I never backed
out of a fight, though.

593
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,239
Yeah, but did you ever jump
off Suicide 35 at the quarry?

594
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,839
Oh, that's right.

595
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,999
He always came up with a
lame excuse not to do it.

596
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,599
What are you talking about?
"Oh, I can't."

597
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,919
"I'm on my period.
It'll attract sharks."

598
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,039
(STAMMERING)

599
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:10,079
Suicide 35 off the top rock.
35 feet above the water.

600
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,323
My mom did that jump when she was
pregnant with me. (LAUGHING)

601
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,524
There's a raft in there?

602
00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:27,121
Whoa!

603
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,679
Who did that?

604
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:34,727
(BELL RINGING)

605
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,764
All right, little birds.
Find your nests, man.

606
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,719
Float down.
There we go, and we're in.

607
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:43,879
All right, guys,

608
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,279
normally we don't have exciting
news this late into the term,

609
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,719
but we have a new student joining
us today, Braden Higgins.

610
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,039
Hey, there's an empty
seat over there, man.

611
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,327
Why don't you go cop a squat?

612
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,639
Or go that way, man.

613
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,642
Take your own path.

614
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,999
No.

615
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,411
I sit here.

616
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,562
Is your dad Marcus Higgins?

617
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,319
Yeah, I've known him since I was a baby.
He's the funniest.

618
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,448
The best. Great, great man.

619
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,559
I want to smash his face.

620
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:29,639
Yeah, me, too.

621
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:30,679
Yeah, I hate that guy.

622
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,569
Screw him.

623
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,839
Yo, Charlotte,
hold up, hold up. Question...

624
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,999
How would you like to spend
the first night of summer

625
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,765
with a hardcore up-and-comer?

626
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,119
What does that mean?

627
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,679
I think he's asking you out.

628
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:49,799
He is?

629
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,439
You are?

630
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,039
I don't make stuff up.

631
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,479
Well, can Donna come?

632
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,479
Three's a crowd, McCloud.

633
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,562
No, he didn't.
Yes, he did.

634
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,439
It's okay, Charlotte.
It's a date, your first date.

635
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,566
Just you two.

636
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,199
All right. I mean,

637
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,999
I'd have to ask my parents,

638
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,599
but I think that would be okay.

639
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:13,679
COACH: Hey, Bumpty.

640
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,199
You think just because
it's the last day of school,

641
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,359
you can sit and
socialize the entire period?

642
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,519
I don't think about stuff
like that, Lady Shorts.

643
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,726
Well, can you think fast?

644
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:25,087
Ow!

645
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:26,399
(COACH LAUGHING)

646
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,079
Who wants to
watch me climb a rope?

647
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,402
(GRUNTING) Yeah!

648
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:33,601
Ugh.

649
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,081
Oh, you're the man!

650
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,399
Whoo!

651
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,199
Yo, he's got to put those
Easter eggs back in the basket.

652
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,799
Dang!

653
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,848
Kelly, I don't want to hear it!

654
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,839
Oh, I can't take it anymore!

655
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,079
I wish I never had you!

656
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,839
Oh! Stop it! Stop it!

657
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,808
See, that's why I
don't want four kids.

658
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,244
Yeah, people with four just
lose their minds. Yeah.

659
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,679
They're yelling,
they're screaming.

660
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,839
Sometimes they go to jail
just to get some sleep.

661
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,359
Hold up. Hang on.

662
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:01,600
I got a burpsnart coming.
Uh-oh.

663
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,319
(BURPS, SNEEZES AND FARTS)

664
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,439
MARCUS: Ho ho!

665
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:06,601
Come on.

666
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:07,959
You got to teach
me how you do that.

667
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,519
A burpsnart? It's simple.
Yeah.

668
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,239
You just start with a burp,

669
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,119
then you sniff for a sneeze,
you get that going,

670
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,399
and that
triggers a fart, always.

671
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,719
What's up with this school bus?

672
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,644
Okay. I stole it.

673
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,967
What?
Put your hands in the air.

674
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,319
♪ And wave them like you
just don't care "ho"

675
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,439
ALL: ♪ Oh!

676
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:29,441
♪ Say "ho"

677
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,119
ALL: ♪ Oh! ♪

678
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,239
I heard you're having
a party tonight, Lenny.

679
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,322
What? I'm not
having a party.

680
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:36,559
Where did you hear that?

681
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,159
He's a cop.
He hears everything.

682
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:40,161
LENNY: Oh, God.

683
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,039
Look, it's Magnum P.U.

684
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,160
Look at him getting all serious.
I still can't believe

685
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,044
you're a cop after all the
sick stuff you did growing up.

686
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,799
The Peter Dante who stole
your parents' snowmobile

687
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,719
and sold it to purchase
crack cocaine is dead, Feder.

688
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,479
This side of
the law is way better.

689
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,079
To serve and protect.
Got to love it.

690
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,399
Hey, McKenzie, I heard you
assaulted somebody in there.

691
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,639
I didn't assault anybody. I
just choked out your brother.

692
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,879
Yeah, he deserves it.
He's crazy.

693
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,759
We got five minutes
to get to that stupid recital.

694
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,919
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Recital?

695
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,001
At McDonough Elementary?

696
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,239
Yes.

697
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:14,319
Can I come?

698
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:15,321
Why?

699
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,679
Trust me.
Everybody's got to go.

700
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,479
We got five minutes. We're
never gonna make it there.

701
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:20,679
You'll get there on time,

702
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,039
'cause we're gonna give you a
four-alarm presidential police escort.

703
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:25,359
Isn't that against the law?

704
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:26,879
I am the law!

705
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,479
(GUN FIRING)
(HORN HONKING)

706
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,559
What's happening?

707
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,608
(CHUCKLING) Whoo!

708
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,401
(SIREN WAILING)

709
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:38,365
(YELPING)

710
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:44,801
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

711
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,688
Oh, my God!
What just happened?

712
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,121
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)

713
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:58,281
Welcome, parents, to final
performance of school year,

714
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,479
our June-a-licious

715
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,767
Dance Spectacular!

716
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,085
Now, for this year,

717
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,999
we go throwing a few

718
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,519
hip-hop moves in there.

719
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,522
Like this.

720
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,559
Is fun to dance.

721
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,040
Let the show begin.

722
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:33,199
So nice of you to invite your
friends and the bus driver

723
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,199
and the police force to our
daughter's dance recital.

724
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,639
Yeah, huge ballet fans,
all of them.

725
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:41,641
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

726
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:50,441
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)

727
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:03,479
SALLY: Ooh!
ERIC: Oh.

728
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,119
She's so cute.

729
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:06,679
So cute.
She's adorable, isn't she?

730
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,039
She is adorable.

731
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,610
Fantastic stuff.
Unbelievable.

732
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,359
Look at her go.
I am.

733
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,283
I'm looking at her.

734
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:28,599
I want to arrest her
for disturbing the peace.

735
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,602
In my pants.

736
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,090
I'm having a wonderful time.

737
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:43,481
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

738
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,648
She's got a solo?

739
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:50,921
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)

740
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:54,600
What?

741
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,042
ROXANNE: It's fine.
I just wish that you

742
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,199
would give me more
than eight hours notice

743
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,399
before you tell me that
we're throwing a party, babe.

744
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:11,839
It's not a party.
Get out of here.

745
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,359
It's a couple people coming by.
Come on.

746
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:14,799
How'd you like it?

747
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,599
You were great, honey.
Hey!

748
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,599
Where did you learn
to dance like that?

749
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,599
She moves like "Yagger," no?

750
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,439
Yes,
she does, she moves like...

751
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:23,999
Mick Yagger?
Is that what you were saying?

752
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,319
Hey, butter buns,
you ready to grab some eats?

753
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,319
Yes.

754
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:29,999
Cavanaugh.

755
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,399
Lenny Feder, I'll be damned.

756
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,719
Honey, this is Tommy Cavanaugh.

757
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,529
He was my old steroid
that I grew up with.

758
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,719
This is my...

759
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,839
Wife, Roxanne.

760
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,559
Why are your
hands shaking, Daddy?

761
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:43,839
My hands are shaking?

762
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,559
Probably because I

763
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,879
had too much coffee
this morning, sweetheart.

764
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,120
I heard you been running around

765
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:50,519
saying you could
take me in a fight.

766
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,759
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
You... I wouldn't say that.

767
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,639
Yeah, you did,
this morning in Kmart.

768
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,399
Kmart? Was I there?

769
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,439
I don't think I was there.

770
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,519
You know,

771
00:32:58,520 --> 00:32:59,879
all I can
remember about this guy

772
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,799
is smacking him around
whenever I wanted to,

773
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,799
and him not doing
a single thing about it.

774
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,239
Yeah, we had a lot of good
times like that growing up.

775
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,159
Why is your voice so shaky, Daddy?
Are you crying?

776
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,279
You don't stop talking, do you?

777
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,199
Honey,
we should be getting going.

778
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,399
Sure, baby.

779
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,559
I want you to stop making up
lies about kicking my ass

780
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,039
or I'm gonna have
to set you straight.

781
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,359
Sure, sure, sure.

782
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,199
I'll see you around.

783
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,010
Becky,
you be having great summer.

784
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,559
I was one inch away

785
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,919
from knocking that guy out,
and I swear to God.

786
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:31,999
No, you weren't.

787
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,639
This is grown-up talk,

788
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,085
so butt out!

789
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:36,801
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

790
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,479
That's insane!
What did you say to him?

791
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,239
I said, "Hey, Cavanaugh, you
speak to me like that again"

792
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,279
"in front of my wife and kid, I will
brush your teeth with a brick."

793
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,479
No, you didn't.
You just yelled at me.

794
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,479
I don't yell at you!
Calm down.

795
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:50,759
No, I'm just saying.

796
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,125
You guys were in the bathroom.

797
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,359
Look who's here, everybody.

798
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,319
20 VOSS waters, right?

799
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,279
That's how they do it in Hollyweird.
I don't know.

800
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,602
We haven't lived there in, what,
10 months now or something?

801
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,199
As a matter of fact, our son
starts work here tonight.

802
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,799
I know. I heard you
brown-nosed Mr. Pappas

803
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,199
and now Showbiz
Junior's got a job.

804
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,799
I used to scoop cones here,
and why shouldn't he?

805
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,643
It's a great
first job for a kid.

806
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,367
Or lifetime job.

807
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,319
Okay, what are we having?

808
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,481
Becky, what do you want, hon?

809
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,119
Can I have the soft
chocolate cup, please?

810
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,851
Here's a word you
probably never heard, no.

811
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:29,291
The machine's busted, princess.

812
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,604
Aw, bummer, it's broken?
Like all your dreams?

813
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,642
You know what, it's easy to fix.
I can help you with that.

814
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,159
What do you know about fixing
ice cream machines, Higgins?

815
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,439
Uh, I went to DeVry for a year.

816
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:41,487
Oh, that's right.

817
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:42,799
I can fix anything with a plug.

818
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:43,999
Including your hair?

819
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,401
That's not true. I don't even
know how that got started.

820
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,159
That's, like, people are
saying that around town.

821
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,359
I'll walk you through it.

822
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,679
You just walk up, climb up the
machine, lean over the back.

823
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,399
Can't believe I'm
listening to this idiot.

824
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:54,479
Listen to the man.

825
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:55,679
MARCUS: You're gonna see

826
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:56,799
two pipes coming into the top.

827
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,519
Yes!
In between them,

828
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,999
there's gonna be
a silver button.

829
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,079
Hit it a little bit.

830
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,199
Push hard.

831
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,009
No. Hit it with your fist.

832
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,839
Yeah, just push the button.

833
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,519
I got it.
There we go! (LAUGHING)

834
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,010
I think we're
getting somewhere.

835
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,199
Okay, keep going. Yeah, that...
(ALL EXCLAIM IN DISGUST)

836
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,281
Force it. That's it.

837
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,679
Hey! Why is Dickie crapping
all over the ice cream stand?

838
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:18,647
What'd she say?

839
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:19,807
Nothing! Nothing!

840
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:20,967
Go! Just go!

841
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,879
(SPURTING NOISES)

842
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,039
SALLY: Go, Dickie!

843
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,039
That's where ice
cream comes from?

844
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:34,400
And so we've reached the end
of another school year.

845
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,879
Froot Loop?

846
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:38,959
Ten months

847
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,999
of learning, growth

848
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,799
and, yes, hopefully,

849
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,962
a little bit of fun.

850
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:50,404
But the journey we began
together, in September,

851
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,079
does not end today.

852
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,119
For education is a process

853
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,603
that does not begin and end
on some set schedule...

854
00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:05,050
Please let me finish.
Return to your seats.

855
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,239
(LAUGHING)

856
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:08,399
Damn you!

857
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,959
Every year, you do this to me!

858
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:10,000
And this was my favorite shirt
from when I was 12!

859
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,679
akumenang.com
And this was my favorite shirt
from when I was 12!

860
00:36:13,679 --> 00:36:13,680
akumenang.com

861
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,479
How you doing, sophomore?
akumenang.com

862
00:36:15,479 --> 00:36:15,480
akumenang.com

863
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,959
Not bad, sophomore.
akumenang.com

864
00:36:16,959 --> 00:36:16,960
akumenang.com

865
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:17,961
Come here!
akumenang.com

866
00:36:17,961 --> 00:36:22,000
akumenang.com

867
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,599
Hey, you're not a statue.

868
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,119
You're an ass-tue.
(CHUCKLES)

869
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:31,849
Doesn't even make any sense.

870
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,166
Shut up!

871
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,279
What? What? What?

872
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,045
Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

873
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:45,759
What's up, man?

874
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:46,841
Your dad picking you up?

875
00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:49,639
Uh, I don't know.

876
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,959
I told him it'd be cool if he
stayed late at the soup kitchen,

877
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,799
so it's on me.

878
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,326
Well, you can come on the bus
with us, if you want.

879
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,408
Nah, how about we
do something fun?

880
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,369
How about we do something
we're not supposed to?

881
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:05,839
"Keep out."

882
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,320
That just makes me
want to not keep out.

883
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,639
Heard our dads used to come
swimming here, back in the day.

884
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,690
They claim to be all squeaky
clean, but I think they were nuts.

885
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:19,521
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

886
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,764
(KIDS CHATTERING AND CHEERING)

887
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:28,999
College kids.

888
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,684
We better go.

889
00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:33,402
No go.

890
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:34,851
Stay.

891
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:42,841
Whoo!

892
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,089
He's nuts.

893
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:48,359
Let's go.

894
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:49,519
Hey!

895
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:50,965
Where are you guys going?

896
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,890
Join the party.

897
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,363
Here. One and two.

898
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,079
Are you guys freshmen?

899
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,879
No. We're seniors.

900
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,519
We just became seniors,
like, 20 minutes ago.

901
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,759
Not high school seniors,
college seniors.

902
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,399
(GASPS) Wait a minute!

903
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,199
I remember you guys.

904
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,039
You're Scully.

905
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,008
You're Boomer.

906
00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:16,319
Come here.

907
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:17,839
I love you guys so much.

908
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,046
I love you, too.

909
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,439
Girl, I love you more.

910
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,039
I'm gonna go.

911
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,042
Whoo! Body shots!

912
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,159
No go.

913
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:27,127
Stay.

914
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:29,719
Okay, okay. But what
about these beers, man?

915
00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:31,400
If we don't drink them,
they'll be onto us,

916
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,001
and I'm not sure I'm
ready for beer yet.

917
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,079
Wait, let's just dump them
when no one's looking,

918
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:37,319
then act like we're drunk.

919
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:38,799
Okay. Good idea.

920
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,484
All right, let's go.

921
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,961
(LAUGHING)

922
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,919
Summertime.

923
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,919
You're sure you want to do this, big man?
No shame in backing down.

924
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:51,959
Really?
Come on!

925
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,079
Come on.

926
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,839
It's a lifelong shame.

927
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,399
You're finally doing
Suicide 35. It's a big day.

928
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,599
What are you scared of, man?

929
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,599
You're the "rope from the tree,
triple flip, bird-crush" guy.

930
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,999
I'm not scared of this.
In the past, I did it before.

931
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,159
But I'll do it right now.

932
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,161
Sure. Sure. Go ahead.

933
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,328
MARCUS: Do it. Do it.
ERIC: Whoa.

934
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,799
But the thing is this,
I just...

935
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,439
late about 45 minutes ago.

936
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:14,759
What did you eat?

937
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,119
I had chicken chow mein.

938
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:17,929
Chicken chow mein? When did...

939
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,519
We were with you
the whole time!

940
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,359
Yeah. You didn't see it?
They had it at Kmart.

941
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:22,759
They have chicken chow...
Oh, get out of here.

942
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,119
It's good there. Yeah.
It's very good.

943
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,406
What do I hear right now?

944
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:27,959
Look at this.

945
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,879
Beers on ice.
Hot ladies everywhere.

946
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,079
This is how we used to do it.

947
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:35,366
This is howl
still do it, buddy.

948
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:36,839
He does still do it that way.

949
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,171
Well, you should stop.

950
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,319
This is Kappa
Eta Sigma property.

951
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,479
(ALL BARK)

952
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,039
So you might want to quit
perving on our ladies

953
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,119
and get back to your trailer homes.
(CHUCKLE)

954
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,479
Okay, easy there, Abercrombie.

955
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,079
I think it's...

956
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,039
I think we've been around
a little longer than you.

957
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,719
Been swimming here
since we were eight years old,

958
00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:55,484
so you can calm
down a little bit.

959
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,290
I'm sure it was the bomb!

960
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,519
Cranking your Al Jolson tunes
on your transistor radio.

961
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,568
But it's the 21st century now.

962
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:04,639
And Thicky-Thick
and the Flabby Bunch

963
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,679
should never take
their shirts off again.

964
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:07,681
That hurts.

965
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:08,839
Okay,
I guess I'm Thicky-Thick.

966
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,959
Yeah, well, I don't like being
in the Flabby Bunch, either.

967
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,566
Boom! That just happened.

968
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,519
I haven't been around this many
arrogant white college kids

969
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,119
since Eminem played Duke.

970
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,639
There it goes. And then...

971
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:20,879
Boom!

972
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,519
That just happened.
How was that?

973
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,251
At least we got into college,
skinny Danny Glover.

974
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:26,361
(LAUGHING MOCKINGLY)

975
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:30,325
(GRUNTING)

976
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,080
Long handjob.
That's Rock, Paper, Scissors.

977
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,719
I think it's over.

978
00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,359
Hey, hey, hey!
What, what, what?

979
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:41,566
What?

980
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,399
And a little extra right there.

981
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,961
Hey, fellows,
that was a good handshake.

982
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,519
We got a good one, too.
It goes like this.

983
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:49,199
Okay, here we go.
Oh, how you doing, sir?

984
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,079
Nice to see you.
Very good, sir.

985
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,599
Beautiful day.
Yeah, at least we're not stuck

986
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:56,239
in some crap town like this, hanging
up drywall for the rest of our lives.

987
00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:57,919
Bay-oom!

988
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,319
Hanging drywall?
First of all,

989
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:00,799
I'll have you know
that I own pretty much

990
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,879
the greatest auto body shop
in town, all right?

991
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,799
This guy works for
the cable company.

992
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,079
Free cable for life.

993
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,279
What?

994
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,759
Over here, you know Higgins?

995
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,161
That's right, he works part-time
down at the go-kart track.

996
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,601
Oh, so he was highballing
you with the drywall.

997
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:16,850
BOTH: Boom!

998
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:18,439
(CHUCKLING)

999
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,010
This just got real.

1000
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,201
Real stupid? What happened?

1001
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:22,401
Something's real.

1002
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:30,119
(SINGING INDISTINCTLY)

1003
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,167
Yeah...

1004
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,399
Dougie, Dougie...

1005
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,919
Are you guys as wasted as us?

1006
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,810
BOTH: Hells, yeah!
All the time!

1007
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,359
Yo, we're gonna let you guys continue
your Klan meeting in a minute.

1008
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,840
He's just gonna jump off of
here, and then we'll leave.

1009
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,439
I can't permit that.

1010
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,199
I can't permit it!

1011
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,159
Can't permit it.

1012
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,084
You guys have ruined
our celebration by being here.

1013
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,599
Look at my hands, huh?

1014
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,039
They're shaking, I'm so mad.

1015
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,644
Yeah,
look, my brother's shaking.

1016
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,439
LENNY: Wha... Wha...
Whoa, whoa.

1017
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,359
That was a cool move.
Now, listen to me.

1018
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,279
I'm gonna kick this kid's ass.

1019
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,719
But I need, like, 11 to 15
minutes to stretch out, okay?

1020
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:12,959
I got to stretch.
It's overlooked.

1021
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,559
No, I understand.

1022
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,279
I can't fight these kids.
I'm skinny Danny Glover.

1023
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:18,123
Guys, this guy's doing 11 flips

1024
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:20,123
behind you for
some unknown reason.

1025
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:25,039
We got kids,
we can't afford to do this.

1026
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,799
Buddy, dude, you don't have
to do that last flip.

1027
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,999
Don't, like, get hurt.

1028
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,279
We'll come back another time.

1029
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:31,639
You will come back never!

1030
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,799
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property!
(BOTH BARK)

1031
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,159
Dude,
why are you acting so crazy?

1032
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,050
Did Betty White
just call you crazy?

1033
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:40,359
Did he just call you Betty White?
Betty White?

1034
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:41,439
That's pretty funny.

1035
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:42,805
We've got a situation!

1036
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,167
(ALL WHOOPING)

1037
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,599
You know what?
Hey, guys? Guys?

1038
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,319
LENNY: Hey, what's up, guys?
ERIC: Let's get out of here.

1039
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,519
MARCUS: Listen,
it's nice to meet everybody.

1040
00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,567
We're gonna take off,
but let's do this again.

1041
00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:00,839
Take care, guys.

1042
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,239
Enjoy yourself.
Not that way.

1043
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:04,561
Oh, is there an elevator?

1044
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:07,969
That way.

1045
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:12,531
Oh, come on, are you serious?
You gonna make us jump?

1046
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,002
Naked.

1047
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,999
Asshole.

1048
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,001
(SCREAMING)

1049
00:43:21,720 --> 00:43:22,721
CROWD: Oh!

1050
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:24,401
(SCREAMS)

1051
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,811
You guys are losers.
(SCREAMS)

1052
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:32,400
CROWD: Oh!

1053
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:35,521
(SHRIEKING)

1054
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,206
Don't worry, it gets bigger.

1055
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:39,481
Ahh!

1056
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:40,881
Whoa!

1057
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,199
CROWD: Oh!

1058
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,168
That poor old lady!

1059
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,439
Ahh! Ah ha ha!

1060
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:48,999
I'm paralyzed!

1061
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,359
I'm in so much pain!

1062
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,249
Mama!

1063
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,399
No!

1064
00:43:58,400 --> 00:43:59,401
CROWD: Oh!

1065
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:02,201
(COUGHS)

1066
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,249
I was inside you!

1067
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:16,639
I can't believe nobody's even
scared of a black guy anymore!

1068
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,839
Damn you, Obama!

1069
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,959
What the hell just happened?

1070
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,566
I saw my dad's dick.

1071
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:27,601
(SHUDDERS)

1072
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,799
Well, the good news is Lamonsoff
finally did the jump for real.

1073
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,007
And the bad news is
he landed on my face.

1074
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,239
What are you,
made of rocks, dude?

1075
00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:52,759
Check this out, feel this.
I'm not kidding you.

1076
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:54,119
Right up here.

1077
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,159
I think even higher.

1078
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,239
Feel that.
And?

1079
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:57,479
Put your hand right there.

1080
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,279
Feel the other one.
Those are my balls.

1081
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,199
I'm not kidding you,
they went way up in there.

1082
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:02,439
You're getting me turned on.

1083
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,599
Are you kidding me?

1084
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:05,719
What?

1085
00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:07,119
They slashed our tires!

1086
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:08,531
These kids won't
stop abusing us!

1087
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:09,766
LENNY: Damn you!

1088
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,039
This wasn't college kids.

1089
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,646
It was my son, Satan.

1090
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,199
And why is this kid so angry?

1091
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,170
His mom hiccupped a lot, but
she was happy! And hot.

1092
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,479
If she's so hot,

1093
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,239
why don't you make her
your late-night booty call?

1094
00:45:26,240 --> 00:45:28,766
Oh, Beefcakes!
Come on, baby!

1095
00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:31,129
(YELLING IN ANGER)

1096
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,879
You've been sneaking around with Fabio?
(LAUGHING)

1097
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,399
It's not funny, dude! She's gonna
kick the crap out of me later!

1098
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:38,599
ERIC: Wow.

1099
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,159
Wow.

1100
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:41,360
A little
five-hour Energy, huh?

1101
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:42,481
Yeah.

1102
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:45,959
500-hour Energy?

1103
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,479
I drink it for the taste, okay?

1104
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:50,563
Oh, my God, you gonna jog
to Florida after this?

1105
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,684
(BURPSNARTS)

1106
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,359
BOTH: Oh!

1107
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:55,361
No!

1108
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:56,759
A bonus!

1109
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:58,599
Come on,
just cram yourself in there.

1110
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,679
My body, it's just too big for this thing.
I can't fit.

1111
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,999
Higgins, dummy, hop in
this thing for a minute.

1112
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,081
For what?

1113
00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:06,359
Just get in the tire.

1114
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,359
No way! In there?
Five yards we'll roll you.

1115
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,799
We've done it. I would do
it if I could get in there.

1116
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,519
This is peer pressure,
you're bullying.

1117
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,159
And I promise you
I'll stop you and I love you.

1118
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,319
Don't let him do it.
He's jacked up on juice.

1119
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,439
And a-one, and a-two...

1120
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:20,519
Mommy's got you.

1121
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:21,599
...and a-three!

1122
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:22,681
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

1123
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,359
MARCUS: Okay, five feet.
Grab me. Y'ello.

1124
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,039
Lenny!
Hey, Keithie.

1125
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,319
Meet me at the football field,
but don't tell your mother.

1126
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,039
Why am I still rolling?

1127
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,719
Lenny!
Oops.

1128
00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:33,439
MARCUS: Help!

1129
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,159
Guys. get me!

1130
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:36,241
LENNY: Hang in there!

1131
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,559
MARCUS: I'm going downhill!

1132
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:38,719
Lenny! No! No!

1133
00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:40,319
(HORNS HONKING)

1134
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,971
When will it end?

1135
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:46,399
(YELPING)

1136
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:47,519
(WAILING)

1137
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:50,285
Oh, yeah.
Summer is here, man!

1138
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:53,091
(BLOWING WHISTLE)

1139
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:59,203
MARCUS: Help! Stop! No!

1140
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,159
(EXCLAIMS IN ALARM)

1141
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:02,239
Tire on the loose!

1142
00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:03,730
Fluzoo, shotgun, now!

1143
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:05,767
(SIREN WAILING)

1144
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:07,919
MARCUS: Someone!

1145
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,570
Higgins is in the tire!

1146
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:11,079
Of course.

1147
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:12,759
Help!
LENNY: Get there!

1148
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:14,319
Help!

1149
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:15,399
Liar!

1150
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:16,401
No, no, baby!

1151
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:20,848
No! No! Someone!

1152
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:22,445
(GRUNTING IN PAIN)

1153
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:26,041
Ahh! Ahh!

1154
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,079
(HIGGINS YELLING)

1155
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,162
Shaw's over, tire.

1156
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:34,961
MARCUS: Ow!

1157
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,211
(VOMITING)

1158
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:47,399
I'm next.

1159
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,119
I got next!
No, I'm next!

1160
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:50,963
(ALL ARGUING)

1161
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:53,239
It's my tire! My turn!

1162
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,079
Hey!

1163
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:56,809
What happened?

1164
00:47:57,240 --> 00:47:58,526
I got a phone call.

1165
00:47:58,720 --> 00:47:59,721
Oh.

1166
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:02,599
Okay. I forgive you.

1167
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,879
Was it
long-distance or something?

1168
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:06,919
Don't want to kick a guy
while he's down, Higgins,

1169
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,127
but we caught your son
with a can of spray paint

1170
00:48:09,240 --> 00:48:11,279
looking like he
was up to no good.

1171
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,959
You lied about the soup.

1172
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,406
You lied about the soup!

1173
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:35,369
We are gonna find
those fartheads,

1174
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:38,127
and we are gonna kill them.

1175
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:39,999
Kill!

1176
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,641
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!

1177
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:50,639
No, guys! Not each other!

1178
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,450
We're not killing each other!

1179
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,639
K-E-I-T

1180
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,519
H-I-E.

1181
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,759
Keithie, Keithie, Keithie!
Whoo! Uh-huh!

1182
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:05,199
It's a practice, Donna. You
don't have to go full speed.

1183
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:06,519
Sorry, Mr. Feder.

1184
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:07,719
It's fine!

1185
00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:10,200
Hey, look at these
giant mooses out there.

1186
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:11,964
(ALL GRUNTING)

1187
00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:15,879
You don't want to get
in the middle of all that.

1188
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,644
Plus, the kicker,
honestly, is like,

1189
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,444
one of the most
important guys on the team

1190
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:20,971
and you don't have
to worry about getting

1191
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:22,559
your head bashed in every play.

1192
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,559
(SIGHS) I get it, Dad.
I'm a wimp.

1193
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:25,719
You're not a wimp.

1194
00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:26,999
It's just common sense.

1195
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,843
Avoid big idiots
trying to hurt you.

1196
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:30,805
I was trying to
avoid a big idiot

1197
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,399
trying to hurt me on
the bus this morning,

1198
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:33,799
but he wouldn't leave me alone.

1199
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,799
Well, sometimes they
won't let you avoid them,

1200
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,399
and you just... You can't back
down in those situations.

1201
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,439
I'm telling you,
I've backed down a few times,

1202
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:41,639
it's not a good feeling.

1203
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,599
All right, look, let's just
kick a few field goals.

1204
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,359
It's like soccer,
which you're great at.

1205
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,204
All you got to do is put your
foot right through the ball.

1206
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:52,439
Whoo!
What?

1207
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:53,646
Touchdown! Yeah!

1208
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,439
Yeah!

1209
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,522
That's ridiculous!
Your first try?

1210
00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,679
All right,
we're backing up, boy.

1211
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,319
That was totally awesome, Keithie!
That was so cool!

1212
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,607
That was just, like, awesome!

1213
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:06,639
Okay, drive through the ball.

1214
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,210
Drive through the ball.

1215
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:11,327
It's up!

1216
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,439
Whoo! Yeah!
Whoo! Go, Keithie!

1217
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:17,479
LENNY: Yes! What did you
eat this morning?

1218
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:21,199
All right, this is starting to
get into, like, college level.

1219
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:22,719
From the 30!

1220
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:24,404
Who the hell is this kid?

1221
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,286
(BOTH YELLING AND LAUGHING)

1222
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:31,959
Oh, my God!

1223
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:33,599
♪ Stop! Keithie time!

1224
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,799
♪ Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! ♪

1225
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,119
I'm starting to think
she has a little crush on you.

1226
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,279
Really?

1227
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,919
Either that or she got bit
by a poisonous spider.

1228
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,002
Keithie! Whoo!

1229
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:47,645
All right, let's see how you do

1230
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,239
in a real game situation,
though.

1231
00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:51,759
Okay? Let's
pretend I'm a linebacker,

1232
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:53,479
and I'm gonna come at you
and try and block it.

1233
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:54,559
Okay.

1234
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:55,891
Set!

1235
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,079
Hike! I'm a crazy linebacker!

1236
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:00,047
Give me that football!

1237
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:01,161
(GRUNTS)

1238
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:02,639
(BOTH GRU NT)
(BONE CRACKING)

1239
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:04,399
Oh, my leg!

1240
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:05,719
Keithie!

1241
00:51:05,720 --> 00:51:07,799
Don't tell your mother!

1242
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,804
All right, that kid's dead.
Back to work.

1243
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:11,999
(BLOWS WHISTLE)

1244
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,519
Now, you remember how to do
a five-point turn, right?

1245
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:15,679
Yeah.

1246
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,639
Parallel park?
Yeah, yeah.

1247
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,759
Hey, don't "yeah,
yeah" me, dumb-ass.

1248
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:21,319
You're precious cargo.

1249
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,200
Now, if you mess around
and get yourself killed,

1250
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:24,319
I'm gonna have to kill you.

1251
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,004
Look, Dad, I'm ready
for this, all right?

1252
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:29,450
You're late.

1253
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:31,999
Hello, McKenzie.

1254
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:33,684
Hey, Wiley, how you feeling?

1255
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:37,999
Oh, just two years of this.

1256
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,083
And I still only have
40% feeling in my body.

1257
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,199
Otherwise, I'm fine.

1258
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,999
No, Rihanna's fine.

1259
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,525
You just teach driver's ed.

1260
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,199
Get her done, son!

1261
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,479
And remember
everything we talked about!

1262
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:52,799
Defensive driving!

1263
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:53,999
Stop at all yellows!

1264
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,079
Obey the laws!

1265
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:56,199
(HORN HONKING)

1266
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:57,361
DRIVER 1: You moron!

1267
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:58,646
DRIVER 2: Look out!

1268
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,684
Be safe!
Don't do what I just did!

1269
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,719
MARCUS: Hey, officers,
you guys want to stick around

1270
00:52:04,720 --> 00:52:06,479
and have a drink with me,
hang out a little bit?

1271
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:07,680
You're afraid of us leaving you

1272
00:52:07,720 --> 00:52:08,839
alone with your son,
aren't you?

1273
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,959
My son... Are you
kidding me? I don't care...

1274
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:11,961
Boo!

1275
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:13,081
He's got a knife!

1276
00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:16,919
That sounds dangerous.
How far was the drop?

1277
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:18,879
Just 35 feet.

1278
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,439
Who do you think
you are, Tarzan?

1279
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:23,399
It's no big deal.
Honey?

1280
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,239
Hi, (STAMMERING) Sally.

1281
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:27,004
Hi, honey.
I... No, I just came to see

1282
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,279
if Mommy was alive.

1283
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:29,879
And looking now,

1284
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,239
she's breathing, she's good.

1285
00:52:31,240 --> 00:52:32,844
Hi. What are you doing here?

1286
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,079
I was bringing your mother
a new fan for the summer.

1287
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,399
That's good.
You said you couldn't

1288
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,959
get coffee with
me because you had

1289
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,919
a 3:30 appointment
with a Mr. Renaldo.

1290
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:42,239
Hello, ladies!

1291
00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:43,919
You!

1292
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:44,999
Can't be!

1293
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,319
We killed you. Last week.

1294
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:50,839
You actually think
two amateurish nitwits

1295
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,083
could kill The Great Renaldo?

1296
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:55,839
I told you.

1297
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,923
You did. You called it.

1298
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,005
So the leg's not
really broken, huh?

1299
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,639
No, it is broken, right here.

1300
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,399
Just a hairline fracture,
though.

1301
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,239
No, it's a clean break.

1302
00:53:13,240 --> 00:53:14,759
Slight, though.

1303
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,399
Slight? No. It's broken.

1304
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,159
Broken-broken or just broken?

1305
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,799
It's a broken leg.

1306
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:26,479
What was once one bone
is now two half-bones.

1307
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:27,679
Right.

1308
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:32,288
Is there anything you can do
about my wife staring at me?

1309
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,799
No, I'm not a psychiatrist.

1310
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,439
So you're saying
my wife is crazy?

1311
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,079
No, no. I was joking.

1312
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,959
Like you were when you said
his leg is broken.

1313
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:43,679
Look, your son

1314
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:46,999
is going to be wearing
that cast the entire summer.

1315
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:50,959
If you don't mind,
I haven't slept in 68 hours.

1316
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,319
So you're a little
loopy from lack of sleep,

1317
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:54,890
and that really
isn't my son's bone.

1318
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,999
That's a piece of
celery you snapped.

1319
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,039
ROXANNE: Lenny!
Yes?

1320
00:53:58,040 --> 00:53:59,639
The leg is broken!

1321
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:03,199
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

1322
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:04,999
You can't undo this,

1323
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,319
and you lied to me,
so you're gonna pay for it.

1324
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:12,999
Doctor, wouldn't it be nice
if there was a cure for anger?

1325
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,159
There is.

1326
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:15,844
It's called Jack Daniel's.

1327
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:18,519
Another one of your jokes, huh?

1328
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,010
I Wish.

1329
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,921
WILEY: Okay, the light is red
now, so just remain stopped.

1330
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,045
Scully, is that you?

1331
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,166
Scully!

1332
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:36,679
Hey, what's up, fellas?

1333
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:39,199
Are you taking your
driver's test drunk?

1334
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,359
Yeah, I'm MC Hammered!

1335
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,079
Oh! You're a madman!
Psychopath, man!

1336
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:44,159
Hey, Scully, Scully.

1337
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,479
Have you seen those old townies
from the quarry today?

1338
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,559
No, I can't say I did. Why?

1339
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:51,719
They
disrespected our frat house!

1340
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:53,319
Man, they disrespected
the crap out of it!

1341
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:54,890
Oh, no, can't have that.

1342
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:58,519
Brewski time, dude!

1343
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:00,039
It's not for you, Scully.

1344
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,879
It's for that freak
in the hat next to you.

1345
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:03,079
Looks like he needs it.

1346
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:04,159
Boom!
Yeah!

1347
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:05,559
That just happened!

1348
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:07,688
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!

1349
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:13,486
Taking your driver's
test while intoxicated?

1350
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:17,447
Minus five points.

1351
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:27,644
This is ridiculous!

1352
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:31,439
I've wasted an entire day waiting
for this idiot to show up.

1353
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,199
Did you tell him your son-in-law
works for the cable company?

1354
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:38,079
A fat lot of good being related
to that bozo would do me.

1355
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:41,119
I'm gonna run to the bathroom.

1356
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:42,690
Love to the children.

1357
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:50,525
Yes. Yes.

1358
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,439
Damn it, I just sat down.

1359
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,599
I'll be right out there!

1360
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:02,759
Hang on!

1361
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,439
I'm coming as quick as I can.

1362
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,283
I got bunions, damn it!

1363
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:12,281
(ENGINE STARTING)

1364
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:16,039
No! No!

1365
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,122
(MACKENZIE LAUGHING)
You burn in hell!

1366
00:56:18,240 --> 00:56:20,119
You cable-installing mother...

1367
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:21,485
Oh, damn it!

1368
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:31,639
Look, man,

1369
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,959
I know deadbeat dads
always have lame excuses

1370
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,239
why they don't see their kids,

1371
00:56:36,240 --> 00:56:39,759
but "I didn't know you existed
till about a week ago"

1372
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:41,879
is actually a fantastic excuse.

1373
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:43,479
So can you cut me some slack?

1374
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:45,319
Her name's not Hiccups McGee.

1375
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,119
Yeah, I know that.

1376
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:48,724
So why do you call her that?

1377
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,439
No, that's just...
It's stupid.

1378
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:55,319
It's just kind of
a nickname I give people that,

1379
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:58,839
you know, have a distinct
trait or physical feature.

1380
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:02,399
Like, if someone had big lips,
you'd call them Lippy McGee.

1381
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,999
And if they sneezed a lot,
you'd call them Sneezy McGee.

1382
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,999
Oh, so you'd be Ugly McGee.

1383
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,162
I'd be Ugly McGee.
Exactly.

1384
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:11,639
Shorty McGee.

1385
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:12,679
Shorty McGee, sure.

1386
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:13,999
Viagra McGee.

1387
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,440
Right, right.
You get it, you get it.

1388
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:17,519
Listen, man,

1389
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,091
I'm willing to give
this a try if you are.

1390
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:24,451
You know what they say... Yesterday's
history, tomorrow's a mystery.

1391
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:28,681
Maybe we go inside
and search the Internet

1392
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,247
for funny videos of
squirrels waterskiing.

1393
00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:34,531
(IMITATING A SQUIRREL)

1394
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,927
Okay, we're getting somewhere.

1395
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,359
ERIC: I'm sorry I lied
about the appointment.

1396
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,479
The lying's not the worst part.

1397
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:49,639
You hid from me at your
mother's house, Eric.

1398
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:51,039
Who does that?

1399
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:52,565
Look, she's nice to me.

1400
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:55,119
You know,
she always takes my side,

1401
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:58,044
worries if I'm eating enough
and taking my vitamins.

1402
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:00,208
I do all that stuff, too, Eric.

1403
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,519
Okay, I don't.

1404
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:03,879
You're right.

1405
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:05,559
You know, there's only
so many hours in a day,

1406
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:08,239
and I'm always
running around the kids,

1407
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,288
and I guess I
leave you out a lot,

1408
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,719
and I'm really gonna try harder
to make you feel special,

1409
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,559
'cause you always make me feel
like the only girl in the world.

1410
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,959
I feel bad.

1411
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,279
Don't feel bad.

1412
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,799
No, I do,
because today at the recital,

1413
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:26,124
I couldn't stop
looking at Becky's teacher.

1414
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:27,969
I don't mind you looking.

1415
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,122
I really don't.
Everybody looks.

1416
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,639
(SIGHS) I was looking today.

1417
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,599
And I'm totally fine with that.

1418
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:37,119
As long as he was gay,
dead or a cartoon.

1419
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:38,610
Gay.
Okay.

1420
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:41,047
But no matter who
or what we look at,

1421
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:43,407
we'll always come back
to each other, right?

1422
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:46,851
Car wash!
Car wash! Whoo!

1423
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:48,479
Support our team!
I'll prove it to you!

1424
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,599
Car wash!

1425
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:51,840
What are you doing?

1426
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:53,200
No, no, you're gonna like this.

1427
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:54,767
Hi, girls!

1428
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:58,489
ERIC: Come on.

1429
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,279
Honey,
you don't have to do this.

1430
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:03,319
I want to.

1431
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,279
Hi, girls!

1432
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:07,279
Wash it up extra soapy!

1433
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,279
You got it.
(HORN HONKING)

1434
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,639
Oh, wait, hang on. There's a
car just in front of you.

1435
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:12,719
Better do them first.

1436
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:13,839
Yo, got a customer!

1437
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:16,479
You take these guys,
we'll take the yellow car.

1438
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,528
Extra soapy.

1439
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,609
Oh, what is
happening right now?

1440
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:30,166
I swear, I didn't plan this.

1441
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,799
No, no, no, no. Thank you. I'm good.
I'm good, thank you.

1442
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,007
Well, I might as
well enjoy this.

1443
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:24,359
Why is this never-ending?

1444
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:27,330
At least the guys in the car
in front of us are having fun.

1445
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,319
What are you doing?
Get in there!

1446
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:43,651
Let me do it.

1447
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,439
LEN NY: Okay, everybody.

1448
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,319
It wasn't a perfect day. I admit it.
There were some downs.

1449
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:57,119
Sorry about the leg.

1450
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:58,639
The good news is

1451
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:00,688
the children got through
another year of school.

1452
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:01,919
Fabulously.

1453
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,919
You got older, even though I told you not to.
Especially you.

1454
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:06,759
Stay young. Don't leave me.

1455
01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:10,239
You prepared us your famous
chicken à la food poisoning,

1456
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:11,599
which we're all excited to eat.

1457
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:14,119
(LAUGHING) I'm just kidding.

1458
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,439
But the greatest thing is, it's
my favorite part of the day

1459
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:17,639
with my four best friends.

1460
01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:18,926
To the Feders!

1461
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:20,081
(ALL CHEER)

1462
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:23,679
So Bumpty asked me
out for ice cream today.

1463
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:27,919
I "went out for ice cream"
once with your dad.

1464
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:31,129
Nine months later,
Andre popped out.

1465
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:36,479
This is the best
vanilla pudding I've ever had.

1466
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:38,767
That's butter, son.

1467
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:42,439
Here you go.

1468
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:43,726
Oh, hey.

1469
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,119
Want me to come in
and feed it to you

1470
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,279
like I did the last time?

1471
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:49,521
No, no. I got my kid here.

1472
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:50,799
That wouldn't be cool.

1473
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,279
You said you loved me!

1474
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:54,281
(SIGHS)

1475
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:56,284
They're not all tens, buddy.

1476
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:57,441
(STATIC BUZZING)

1477
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:02,359
Homeboy, why aren't you eating?

1478
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:05,119
I saw something today
that made me lose my appetite.

1479
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:07,851
What was it, me naked?

1480
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,319
What?

1481
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:12,959
What's a burpsmart?

1482
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:14,159
Burpsnorp?

1483
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:15,719
A burpsnart!

1484
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:18,999
Basically, he burps, sneezes
and farts at the same time.

1485
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:20,119
He goes...

1486
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:23,761
(BURPSNARTS)

1487
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:25,771
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1488
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,479
I think I just shat myself.

1489
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:31,319
Hey, honey, what time's
that Feder bash tonight?

1490
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:33,039
What?

1491
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:34,239
It's paint.

1492
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:35,719
It doesn't come off.

1493
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:38,159
I thought it might be fun
to have a theme, no?

1494
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:39,446
A theme?

1495
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:40,839
Roxanne decided the theme is...

1496
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:44,759
The '80s?

1497
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:46,808
That was 70 years ago.

1498
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:50,999
I thought we could
go as Hall & Oates.

1499
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:51,967
Hall & Oates?

1500
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:53,199
Yeah.
Yeah.

1501
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:55,079
What is that, like a cereal?

1502
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:56,599
No.

1503
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:58,045
Why don't you
ask Nancy Arbuckle

1504
01:02:58,200 --> 01:02:59,679
to come by for
the get-together?

1505
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,639
Or do you prefer
the imaginary shower version?

1506
01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:03,641
(CHUCKLING)

1507
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:05,161
(SCREAMS)

1508
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:07,839
You know what, Charlotte?
I trust you,

1509
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,599
and I want you to
have fun tonight.

1510
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:11,039
Really.

1511
01:03:11,040 --> 01:03:12,041
(DOORBELL RINGS)

1512
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:16,885
What's up, player?
I'm here for your daughter.

1513
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:23,207
What...

1514
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:25,891
Used to get 10 cases
of beer for my parties,

1515
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,571
now I get 10
cases of juice boxes.

1516
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:30,479
Hey, Beckster.

1517
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:32,239
Hey, Stud Muffin.
Hey.

1518
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:35,639
Mommy calls him Stud Muffin,
so I call him Stud Muffin.

1519
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:36,759
Is that right?

1520
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:39,399
You must be Roxanne's husband.
I'm Kyle.

1521
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:41,719
How do you know my wife
again there, Mud Stuffing?

1522
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:43,639
I worked her out this morning.

1523
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:44,719
Oh, really?

1524
01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:47,326
I worked her out this morning,
too, pretty good.

1525
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:48,919
All right.

1526
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:50,919
Hi.

1527
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,119
What's up?

1528
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:53,759
This is awkward.

1529
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:55,919
My husband's here.

1530
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:57,639
Why is that awkward?

1531
01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,399
Why?

1532
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:01,129
Well, let me give you a hint.

1533
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:04,879
You have brain damage?

1534
01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:05,881
(LAUGHS)

1535
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,439
I think we both know
what time it is, don't we?

1536
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:10,839
What time is it?

1537
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:12,919
Oh, nothing.

1538
01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:16,839
It's just...
Just time to...

1539
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:18,524
(WHISPERS) Help me out here.

1540
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:21,639
I'm lost right now. I'm sorry.

1541
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,599
Wiley, how'd Andre McKenzie do?

1542
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:24,679
Did he pass his test?

1543
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:26,199
He squeaked by.

1544
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:28,399
We didn't check out
any soapy cheerleaders.

1545
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,159
What's going on
with you and my wife?

1546
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:31,239
I'm gonna go.

1547
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:32,571
Actually, why don't we all
go our separate ways.

1548
01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:34,999
I don't see any of these
conversations working out for me.

1549
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:36,439
Adios.
I'll see you tonight.

1550
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:37,479
Hey.

1551
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:38,641
I'll bring the Hubba Bubba.

1552
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:40,719
What?

1553
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:42,839
Yeah, party
tonight '80s-style, huh?

1554
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:44,719
Rocky III.

1555
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:45,801
Wiley!

1556
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:46,967
Okay.

1557
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,764
Hey, babe.

1558
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:51,966
What does Penny's note say?

1559
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:54,967
Uh...

1560
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,159
She wrote,
"Mayonnaise, zitis..."

1561
01:04:58,160 --> 01:04:59,400
The other side.

1562
01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:04,639
"Meet me by your
mailbox at 11:00."

1563
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,007
Why would I meet her
by my mailbox at 11:00?

1564
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:14,399
You have any idea
what just happened there?

1565
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:15,759
Not a clue.

1566
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:18,239
DICKIE: I don't care who
your parents are.

1567
01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:19,919
You screw up, I fire you.

1568
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,119
It's all good.

1569
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:23,239
"It's all good"?

1570
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:25,559
It's a family restaurant,
not a rap show.

1571
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:27,199
It's all bad?

1572
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,159
That's right, it is.

1573
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:30,525
You got a customer.

1574
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:33,679
I'm sorry. Welcome to
the Ice Cream House.

1575
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,399
Hi, Greg.

1576
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:37,279
Nancy, hi.

1577
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:40,119
I think you crushed your cones.

1578
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:41,359
Oh, no.

1579
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:42,839
That was a...
That was a squeeze test.

1580
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:44,519
These cones failed.

1581
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:47,159
We're gonna try cardboard cones next.
(LAUGHS)

1582
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:48,241
You're smiling.

1583
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:50,359
And number two.

1584
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:52,439
You have such a nice smile.

1585
01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:54,199
Thanks.

1586
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:57,199
Go out with me tonight before
your friends say I'm fugly.

1587
01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:59,359
Tonight?

1588
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:00,441
Sure.

1589
01:06:00,560 --> 01:06:02,642
No freaking way.

1590
01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:06,959
Your father used to do
that same three-step crap

1591
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:08,291
when we were growing up.

1592
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,719
It always worked then.

1593
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:12,529
Even on my wife.

1594
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:18,559
I ain't no boy with
a mind you can toy,

1595
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:21,559
'cause if this is a ploy,
I'll destroy Illinois.

1596
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:24,399
It is so amazing how you can
freestyle like that.

1597
01:06:24,400 --> 01:06:27,370
I been laying it down
truthful since day one.

1598
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:28,811
(IMITATING A TURNTABLE)

1599
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:33,479
Well, I sing sometimes, too,

1600
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:35,608
but only, like, in the shower.

1601
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,759
I'm scared to sing in
front of other people.

1602
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,839
If you scared,
that means you don't got it.

1603
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:44,322
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't front.
I'm hard-core.

1604
01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:47,765
(RIBBITING)

1605
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:49,484
Dinosaur!

1606
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:53,599
How long ago was the '80s?

1607
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,439
That was way back in the 1900s.

1608
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:57,719
We learned about it in school.

1609
01:06:57,720 --> 01:06:58,839
It was wack.

1610
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:01,919
The phones had long, curly
things coming out of the end.

1611
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:03,639
You had to watch commercials.

1612
01:07:03,640 --> 01:07:04,799
No way.

1613
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:06,131
Isn't that right, Bowser?

1614
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:10,039
How we doing?

1615
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:12,439
Hey, Dad, why do we have to
wear costumes and you don't?

1616
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:13,879
I am wearing a costume.

1617
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:16,611
Bruce Springsteen,
Born in the U. S.A.

1618
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:19,399
Who's Bruce Springsteen?

1619
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:21,368
I guess some guy
with a giant butt.

1620
01:07:21,560 --> 01:07:22,679
Ha.

1621
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:24,639
You don't know who the Boss is?

1622
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:26,239
I stink as a father.

1623
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:28,319
You do not stink as a father.

1624
01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:30,239
You're the best father I know.

1625
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,679
That's why I don't understand
why you don't...

1626
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:33,799
Why I don't want a baby?

1627
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:36,280
Because I don't want one!
Let's move on from that!

1628
01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:42,009
(SOBBING)

1629
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:45,920
Oh, no. No, no.

1630
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:47,879
Tell her it wasn't
you talking, Dad.

1631
01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:49,559
It was your flabby ass.

1632
01:07:49,560 --> 01:07:53,042
You want me to "accidentally"
break the other leg?

1633
01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:02,319
Hey, I'm sorry
I raised my voice.

1634
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:03,999
In front of the children!

1635
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:05,639
Right, in front of the kids.

1636
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:06,959
It's just, you...

1637
01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:09,679
All you're doing is bringing up
this baby thing over and over.

1638
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:11,199
Are you going through, like,

1639
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:15,250
a "womany" hormone situation
or something? (GASPS)

1640
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:17,159
Menopause?

1641
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:19,128
What, you're not old enough for that?
I'm sorry.

1642
01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:20,999
Okay, no,
I meant schizophrenia.

1643
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:23,359
No, honey, honey, honey,

1644
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,399
if we have another baby,
we're starting over, you know?

1645
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:27,959
How about we just adopt a kid?

1646
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:29,319
Like
a 20-year-old who has a job.

1647
01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:30,881
That way we could
make money off of him.

1648
01:08:31,360 --> 01:08:32,361
Oh!

1649
01:08:32,480 --> 01:08:35,768
I just... Don't you think we can
start concentrating on me and you?

1650
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:38,479
That's all I'm saying.
It's our time.

1651
01:08:38,480 --> 01:08:43,159
Well, I am going through
kind of a hormone thing.

1652
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:45,447
Ah, good,
there's pills for that.

1653
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:48,969
I'm pregnant.

1654
01:08:49,760 --> 01:08:50,919
(DOORBELL RINGS)

1655
01:08:50,920 --> 01:08:51,921
(GASPS)

1656
01:08:52,440 --> 01:08:54,408
Our guests are here.

1657
01:08:56,880 --> 01:09:00,009
Wait a minute,
when did we even have...

1658
01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:01,401
Oh.

1659
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:07,799
Damn you, Motel 6 hot tub!

1660
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:10,639
MARCUS: Wow.
Lenny, that's big, brother.

1661
01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:12,239
Yeah, four kids is the best.

1662
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:13,719
What are you
talking about, Prince?

1663
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:15,768
You told me it would be
the worst if that happened.

1664
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:17,919
There's a lot of
great aspects to that.

1665
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:21,599
Like, when Junior graduates
high school, you'll be 64.

1666
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:22,999
How is that a good thing?

1667
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:24,799
Actually, it's horrifying.

1668
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:26,799
I didn't do the math before
I opened my mouth. Sorry.

1669
01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:28,959
Whoo. Nice job, Cher.

1670
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:30,079
Okay, I'm not Cher.

1671
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:32,239
I'm Meat Loaf, all right?
Yeah.

1672
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:34,599
You're Meat Loaf,
or you're made of meat loaf?

1673
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:36,284
(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
Who are you, Doug Henning?

1674
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:38,239
I'm Oates.

1675
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:39,241
Where's Hall?

1676
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,759
Hall's having
a playdate with your kids.

1677
01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:44,286
(GIGGLING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)

1678
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:46,919
Anyway, you got nothing
to worry about, Lenny.

1679
01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:48,120
All right? You're a great dad.

1680
01:09:48,160 --> 01:09:49,719
Right, I know.
I broke my son's leg today.

1681
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:50,959
That's a real good dad.

1682
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:52,291
Guys, you're
bumming me out, all right?

1683
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:53,719
This is supposed
to be party time.

1684
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,759
This isn't gonna be a real party.
I'm drinking a juice box,

1685
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:58,285
'cause I'm afraid my
wife's gonna yell at me

1686
01:09:58,440 --> 01:10:00,039
for getting drunk
in front of the kids.

1687
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:03,249
How many of you guys have been to
a party in the past six months?

1688
01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:04,361
(WHOOPS)

1689
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:06,289
A party without a bouncy house.

1690
01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:07,719
(MAKES DEFLATED NOISE)

1691
01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:09,609
A party where they
actually invited you.

1692
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:11,080
akumenang.com

1693
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:12,239
Yeah.
akumenang.com

1694
01:10:12,239 --> 01:10:12,240
akumenang.com

1695
01:10:12,240 --> 01:10:14,759
The party's over, fellas.
akumenang.com

1696
01:10:14,759 --> 01:10:14,760
akumenang.com

1697
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:16,879
You saw the way those frat
guys treated us today.
akumenang.com

1698
01:10:16,879 --> 01:10:16,880
akumenang.com

1699
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:18,319
We're irrelevant.
akumenang.com

1700
01:10:18,319 --> 01:10:18,320
akumenang.com

1701
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:19,639
We're losers.
akumenang.com

1702
01:10:19,639 --> 01:10:19,640
akumenang.com

1703
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:20,759
We're old.
akumenang.com

1704
01:10:20,759 --> 01:10:20,760
akumenang.com

1705
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:22,000
Lamonsoff totally surrendered.
akumenang.com

1706
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:22,199
Lamonsoff totally surrendered.

1707
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:24,119
He's got a fanny pack on now,
for God's sake.

1708
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:25,839
You know what, first of all,

1709
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,479
it's a "survanny" pack,
a survival fanny pack,

1710
01:10:28,480 --> 01:10:29,919
with many special features.

1711
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:32,207
So you pull that triangle
and lasagna comes out?

1712
01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:33,799
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)

1713
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:35,279
Why don't you give it a shot?

1714
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:37,487
You got it.
I'll pull the string.

1715
01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:39,930
(ALL YELL)

1716
01:10:40,440 --> 01:10:42,522
♪ Like a raft out of hell! ♪

1717
01:10:43,840 --> 01:10:45,888
Yeah, good one, that was good.

1718
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:48,243
Don't ever say
the party's over!

1719
01:10:50,520 --> 01:10:52,329
That didn't happen.

1720
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:58,328
Hey, Richard Simmons is a hero.

1721
01:11:16,320 --> 01:11:18,479
No, no, no, no, no.

1722
01:11:18,480 --> 01:11:19,759
What's with all this Prince?

1723
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:21,079
I'm Prince.
The hell.

1724
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:22,479
You ain't Prince. I'm Prince.

1725
01:11:22,480 --> 01:11:24,084
My skin's way
lighter than yours.

1726
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:27,159
You should have came as Seal on
a hunger strike. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

1727
01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:30,759
You look like Morgan Freeman
if he was a transvestite.

1728
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:32,046
And what you
doing here, Bumpty?

1729
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:33,479
I thought you was
out with my daughter.

1730
01:11:33,480 --> 01:11:35,879
That ain't Bumpty.
That's my wife.

1731
01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:38,599
Oh, Mary!
I didn't recognize you.

1732
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:39,959
Where's your costume?

1733
01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:42,884
I didn't find out about the
party until it was too late.

1734
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:46,044
So you decided to
come as a black Muppet?

1735
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:48,767
What?

1736
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:52,847
Come on, you're my one and
only, sweetie-boo-mo-mo.

1737
01:11:53,440 --> 01:11:55,719
Make a muscle for me?

1738
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:56,846
Pwease?

1739
01:11:58,240 --> 01:11:59,439
Ooh!

1740
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:01,408
So bulgy.

1741
01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:06,325
Like a big caramel apple.

1742
01:12:10,080 --> 01:12:11,081
(MOANS)

1743
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,084
Wow.

1744
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:21,921
I'm scared.
I feel safe with you.

1745
01:12:32,240 --> 01:12:33,924
Shut up.

1746
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:39,159
You know, I can make
a connection with a woman.

1747
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:41,439
I just can't sustain it.

1748
01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,602
You know,
there's a distance there.

1749
01:12:43,800 --> 01:12:47,959
Try to fill it up pharmaceutically,
you know, with pills,

1750
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:49,919
or the Discovery Channel,

1751
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:52,082
or Dino Nuggets.

1752
01:12:52,440 --> 01:12:54,199
But nothing really works.

1753
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:57,443
See, you understand, you know?

1754
01:12:57,560 --> 01:12:59,608
'Cause you're, I heard,

1755
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:02,606
sensitive (CLEARS THROAT)
to men.

1756
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:04,479
God, he's hot!

1757
01:13:04,480 --> 01:13:06,721
Zip it!
He'll find out our secret!

1758
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:14,167
Drink up, partner.

1759
01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:15,399
Yeah!

1760
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:16,970
Lenny!

1761
01:13:17,080 --> 01:13:18,879
Uh-oh! Secret table.

1762
01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:21,119
Yes, honey, how are you?
What's going on?

1763
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:22,799
We just trying to
get our punch on.

1764
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:23,839
Becky's sleepy.

1765
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,959
She wants her daddy
to put her to bed.

1766
01:13:25,960 --> 01:13:28,725
Well, Daddy's right about to
enjoy some refreshing punch,

1767
01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:30,839
so could you put her to sleep?

1768
01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:32,919
Well, you wouldn't want
to have too much punch

1769
01:13:32,920 --> 01:13:35,241
with all these
kids running around.

1770
01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:36,919
You know what,
I'd be okay with that.

1771
01:13:36,920 --> 01:13:38,319
Actually, you wouldn't.

1772
01:13:38,320 --> 01:13:39,759
Gotcha.

1773
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:42,679
I'll be back soon, fellas. I'll be back soon.
That's a promise.

1774
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:44,319
Let's go, little girl.
Good night.

1775
01:13:44,320 --> 01:13:45,481
Time to go to sleep.

1776
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:47,524
Close your eyes.

1777
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:52,365
Yeah, Mom.

1778
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:56,367
As easy as making a free throw.

1779
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,799
Hey, Bean, Becky went to sleep.

1780
01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:03,519
I think it's time for you to hit it, pal.
What do you say?

1781
01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:04,879
Oh, no, no, don't touch that.

1782
01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:06,359
Yeah, you might break it.

1783
01:14:06,360 --> 01:14:08,442
(PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)

1784
01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:12,119
What...

1785
01:14:12,120 --> 01:14:13,929
Where did you
learn how to do that?

1786
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:15,804
I saw it in one of my dreams.

1787
01:14:20,640 --> 01:14:22,999
You're a genius?

1788
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:25,287
My boy's a genius.

1789
01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:29,087
(BURPSNARTS)

1790
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:32,759
Your dad's also a genius.

1791
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:35,319
Sweet dreams there,
angel, okay?

1792
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:38,519
Daddy, can you lay in bed
with me till I fall asleep?

1793
01:14:38,520 --> 01:14:41,199
What do you mean? I thought you are sleepy.
That's why we came up here.

1794
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:43,567
Please lay down.

1795
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:45,321
Oh!

1796
01:14:46,880 --> 01:14:48,199
I'll lay down with you, then.

1797
01:14:48,200 --> 01:14:51,399
I just... There's
a party going on, but...

1798
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:53,039
Can you tell me a story?

1799
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:54,644
Look who was in
the neighborhood!

1800
01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:57,999
Some of Lenny's friends
from the old J. Geils Band!

1801
01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,286
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

1802
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:13,040
Daddy?

1803
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:14,479
You don't want one slug?

1804
01:15:14,480 --> 01:15:15,919
No.

1805
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:18,082
I thought you liked
this stuff. Sorry.

1806
01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:22,209
All right.
I'll tell you a story.

1807
01:15:22,320 --> 01:15:28,202
Once upon a time,
there was a hand,

1808
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:31,803
and the hand
faced-raked the child.

1809
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:35,563
Sleep!

1810
01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:38,167
Slee...

1811
01:15:39,320 --> 01:15:41,084
Sleep!

1812
01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:45,970
Boy, Feder's cranking his old rock
and roll records pretty loud.

1813
01:15:46,440 --> 01:15:48,283
Guess he's never
heard of neighbors.

1814
01:15:51,040 --> 01:15:52,280
Now, why you stopping here?

1815
01:15:52,480 --> 01:15:53,999
I need some air.

1816
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:55,239
You need some air?

1817
01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:56,480
We haven't even
gotten to the party yet.

1818
01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:57,959
I would appreciate it

1819
01:15:57,960 --> 01:16:00,281
if you would stop
trying to "manage" me.

1820
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:03,688
Word, word.

1821
01:16:04,200 --> 01:16:05,799
Want me to stay
and wait with you?

1822
01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:09,771
I just want to be alone!

1823
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:13,119
Yo, don't believe the hype.

1824
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,122
Boy!

1825
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:28,679
Daddy, I can't fall asleep
without Mr. Gigglesworth.

1826
01:16:28,680 --> 01:16:31,159
You told me he would be okay.

1827
01:16:31,160 --> 01:16:33,239
He will be. I...

1828
01:16:33,240 --> 01:16:35,481
He just needs to rest
a little bit longer, okay?

1829
01:16:35,640 --> 01:16:38,883
Please, Daddy.
I need to see him.

1830
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:43,321
He had a very rough day.

1831
01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:48,089
But I'll get him for you,
because you need to see him.

1832
01:16:49,720 --> 01:16:53,042
Doing leg lifts. I work
out when I can, you know?

1833
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:54,999
Want some Daddy
candy right here?

1834
01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:57,039
Why are you naked?

1835
01:16:57,040 --> 01:16:58,565
Global warming.

1836
01:16:59,080 --> 01:17:00,399
Why is this empty?

1837
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:01,919
Where is Gigglesworth?
Hey, hey.

1838
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:05,039
I'm sorry, man.
Were you looking for this?

1839
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:06,359
Why's he look good?

1840
01:17:06,360 --> 01:17:07,719
I sewed him.

1841
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:08,879
You sew?

1842
01:17:08,880 --> 01:17:10,039
Where'd you learn how to sew?

1843
01:17:10,040 --> 01:17:11,199
Gay camp.

1844
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:13,441
You went to gay camp?
You're gay?

1845
01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:16,239
No, no. No, I mean, I'm gay,

1846
01:17:16,240 --> 01:17:18,879
but no, there's no such thing as
gay camp, man. It was a joke.

1847
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:20,759
I learned to sew from my dad,
who was a tailor.

1848
01:17:20,760 --> 01:17:23,331
I've been sewing since
I was Becky's age. Here.

1849
01:17:23,480 --> 01:17:25,403
This is great.

1850
01:17:25,880 --> 01:17:27,999
Gigglesworth's okay,

1851
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:30,279
you're not fooling
around with my wife,

1852
01:17:30,280 --> 01:17:31,520
and you got a pee stain.

1853
01:17:35,680 --> 01:17:37,842
That is not mine.

1854
01:17:47,080 --> 01:17:49,082
You're an animal.

1855
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:57,770
I am the law!

1856
01:18:00,440 --> 01:18:01,965
(SCREAMING)

1857
01:18:02,920 --> 01:18:03,921
ALL: Oh!

1858
01:18:05,200 --> 01:18:06,201
(ALL CHEER)

1859
01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:09,688
Can you dig it?

1860
01:18:19,520 --> 01:18:20,521
Ah!

1861
01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:23,441
Come on, big man, Lenny's
got, like, 12 bathrooms.

1862
01:18:23,640 --> 01:18:25,799
I don't got to go
to the bathroom.

1863
01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:27,450
I'm just enjoying the water.

1864
01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:29,999
WOMAN: Get out.

1865
01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:32,679
Hurry! Hurry!

1866
01:18:32,680 --> 01:18:34,364
Oh, Fluzoo, come on!

1867
01:18:34,480 --> 01:18:37,324
That's not even warm.
It's hot.

1868
01:18:42,320 --> 01:18:44,479
I got to give it to
your old man for one thing.

1869
01:18:44,480 --> 01:18:47,359
He could always throw a party.

1870
01:18:47,360 --> 01:18:48,964
This is my dad's party?

1871
01:18:52,440 --> 01:18:55,489
DICKIE: Check out your girlfriend
in the Pat Benatar outfit.

1872
01:18:57,280 --> 01:18:58,930
(ALL GROAN IN DISAPPOINTMENT)

1873
01:18:59,120 --> 01:19:01,851
(SINGING)

1874
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:14,684
(ALL CHEERING)

1875
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,365
KURT: Charlotte,

1876
01:19:18,480 --> 01:19:19,839
that was amazing.

1877
01:19:19,840 --> 01:19:21,251
Where'd you learn
to sing like that?

1878
01:19:21,360 --> 01:19:24,921
No place. I just sing a little
in the shower. (CHUCKLES)

1879
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:27,559
Maybe you should stick to the shower.
(BEATBOXING)

1880
01:19:27,560 --> 01:19:28,879
♪ 'Cause I gots the power

1881
01:19:28,880 --> 01:19:31,399
♪ I'm on Today Show
Dissing Matt Lauer ♪

1882
01:19:31,400 --> 01:19:32,519
DEANNE: Bumpty!

1883
01:19:32,520 --> 01:19:33,879
Do me a favor
and shut your mouth

1884
01:19:33,880 --> 01:19:36,879
before I slap that
Mohawk into a chin strap.

1885
01:19:36,880 --> 01:19:38,484
ALL: What?

1886
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:54,399
LENNY: Hey.

1887
01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:56,448
Who invited you guys?

1888
01:19:56,560 --> 01:19:58,959
Your beautiful wife does.

1889
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,239
Well, she invited her,

1890
01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:03,164
and naturally,
we assumed it was a plus one.

1891
01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:04,879
There a problem?

1892
01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:08,599
No, I was gonna say,
great Terminator outfit

1893
01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:11,439
and Robert Palmer
thing you got on, and...

1894
01:20:11,440 --> 01:20:12,799
(MUTTERING)

1895
01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:14,404
Nice babble.

1896
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:17,001
DUFFY: How about this?
KEITHIE: No.

1897
01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:18,199
DUFFY: What about that?

1898
01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:20,439
Does that hurt?
Is that hurting you?

1899
01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:21,599
Yes, it is hurting me.

1900
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:24,399
Oh. Okay.
Well, let me do it some more.

1901
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:26,687
You got something to say?

1902
01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:28,450
LENNY: Actually, Cavanaugh.

1903
01:20:28,600 --> 01:20:32,239
You want to stay at my party,
I think you owe me an apology.

1904
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:33,319
For what?

1905
01:20:33,320 --> 01:20:36,210
For back in the day,
always giving me crap.

1906
01:20:36,480 --> 01:20:38,599
You don't want to
let bygones be bygones?

1907
01:20:38,600 --> 01:20:41,809
I do.
After you apologize to me.

1908
01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:44,119
For stuff I did 30 years ago?

1909
01:20:44,120 --> 01:20:47,759
There isn't a statute of
limitations on being a dick.

1910
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:49,879
What'd you just say?

1911
01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:51,799
I said what I said.

1912
01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:53,919
You and me are
fighting right now.

1913
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:56,199
Now, let's go!
Let's get it over with.

1914
01:20:56,200 --> 01:20:57,645
(CROWD CLAMORING)

1915
01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:00,599
Oh, man, looks like our
friend's about to die.

1916
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:02,489
Lenny, what's going on?
I'm calling the police!

1917
01:21:02,600 --> 01:21:05,171
We're already here.

1918
01:21:05,320 --> 01:21:06,321
(SNORING)

1919
01:21:07,960 --> 01:21:09,246
Hold my hair, woman.

1920
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:11,319
You ready for this?

1921
01:21:11,320 --> 01:21:14,159
Not at all,
but I'm gonna do this,

1922
01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:16,128
'cause I got to show
my son what's right.

1923
01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:21,799
We'd do anything for
our boys, wouldn't we?

1924
01:21:21,800 --> 01:21:23,279
Absolutely.

1925
01:21:23,280 --> 01:21:24,479
Yeah.

1926
01:21:24,480 --> 01:21:26,119
My boy's over in Afghanistan.

1927
01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:29,599
Well, you raised him right.
I hope he gets home safe soon.

1928
01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:31,119
Yeah, me, too.

1929
01:21:31,120 --> 01:21:32,639
OFFICER DANTE: Sucker-punch him, Feder.

1930
01:21:32,640 --> 01:21:37,009
Lick his bicep. Lick it,
bite it, lick the tan off.

1931
01:21:38,640 --> 01:21:40,759
All right,
here's what's gonna happen.

1932
01:21:40,760 --> 01:21:43,519
Hit me right on the chin. I'll
go down like a sack of potatoes.

1933
01:21:43,520 --> 01:21:44,601
What are you talking about?

1934
01:21:44,720 --> 01:21:45,839
Just do it.

1935
01:21:45,840 --> 01:21:48,320
I know you'd do the same for
me if my boy was watching.

1936
01:21:49,320 --> 01:21:51,163
Let's get busy, Hollywood!

1937
01:21:58,440 --> 01:21:59,959
No! Don't hit me, please!

1938
01:21:59,960 --> 01:22:01,959
I'm sorry.
Please don't hit me.

1939
01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:03,371
You would tear
me limb from limb.

1940
01:22:03,480 --> 01:22:04,839
Open this.

1941
01:22:04,840 --> 01:22:06,080
The only reason I picked on you

1942
01:22:06,200 --> 01:22:07,559
was because I
was afraid of you.

1943
01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:09,039
What?
Oh, my God.

1944
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:11,119
Please, please, please.
Just go with it.

1945
01:22:11,120 --> 01:22:13,479
I didn't think anyone would
believe you could knock me out.

1946
01:22:13,480 --> 01:22:17,359
Please. Don't hit me.

1947
01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:20,519
Cavanaugh's crying.
This is ridiculous!

1948
01:22:20,520 --> 01:22:21,559
MAN: Cavanaugh.

1949
01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:23,199
You mean you don't
want me to hit you with this?

1950
01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:24,201
No! Please.

1951
01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,488
Or the elbow?

1952
01:22:26,840 --> 01:22:28,359
Finger in the eye!

1953
01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,319
Wow.
Listen to this guy!

1954
01:22:30,320 --> 01:22:33,847
All right, get up.
Straighten up.

1955
01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:35,969
I'm not gonna hit you,

1956
01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:41,039
but if you ever disrespect me

1957
01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:42,919
or anybody,

1958
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:44,839
I will hunt you down,

1959
01:22:44,840 --> 01:22:48,481
and I will slap you
into a pile of tattoos,

1960
01:22:49,040 --> 01:22:50,724
bad breath

1961
01:22:51,400 --> 01:22:52,481
and back zits.

1962
01:22:53,520 --> 01:22:55,559
Oh, please.

1963
01:22:55,560 --> 01:22:57,688
Do you understand me?

1964
01:22:57,920 --> 01:22:59,599
Yes, I understand you.

1965
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:02,279
Do you understand me?

1966
01:23:02,280 --> 01:23:04,726
Yes, I understand you!

1967
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,879
Then walk away
before I change my mind.

1968
01:23:06,880 --> 01:23:08,291
Thank you very much.

1969
01:23:08,720 --> 01:23:09,721
(CROWD CHEERING)

1970
01:23:14,040 --> 01:23:15,087
Hey, man, look at him!

1971
01:23:15,200 --> 01:23:16,239
What just happened?

1972
01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:18,239
ALL: Lenny! Lenny! Lenny!

1973
01:23:18,240 --> 01:23:21,483
Oh, my God, that was the
manliest thing you ever did.

1974
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:25,039
You get extra special
hip-hop dance tonight.

1975
01:23:25,040 --> 01:23:26,644
Word up.

1976
01:23:27,160 --> 01:23:30,243
(FRAT BOYS WHOOPING)

1977
01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:32,599
Hey, guys, if you see Leonard,

1978
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:36,161
could you tell him that I'm
here waiting like we arranged?

1979
01:23:36,280 --> 01:23:38,009
Guys? Guys?

1980
01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:43,002
Yeah, okay.
Okay, I am a person!

1981
01:23:43,120 --> 01:23:45,119
ERIC: That was awesome, by the way.
Had to. Had to.

1982
01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:46,599
Yeah, yeah, you had to.

1983
01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:48,279
He let you off the hook,
didn't he?

1984
01:23:48,280 --> 01:23:51,204
He did, he did,
but I had to go with it.

1985
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:58,603
I can't believe it!

1986
01:23:58,720 --> 01:24:00,959
We hit the moron jackpot!

1987
01:24:00,960 --> 01:24:05,319
Everybody who needs a beating,
conveniently together on one lawn.

1988
01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:06,879
Who are they?

1989
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:09,326
Brunson University frat guys.

1990
01:24:09,440 --> 01:24:12,171
Oh, God, I hate white people.

1991
01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:15,119
Excuse me, why are you here?
What's the matter?

1992
01:24:15,120 --> 01:24:18,169
(IMITATING ACCENT)
I tell you what is the matter.

1993
01:24:18,280 --> 01:24:21,039
These old townies
trashed our frat house!

1994
01:24:21,040 --> 01:24:24,839
And nobody treats our good-times
headquarters with disrespect!

1995
01:24:24,840 --> 01:24:26,888
ALL: Yeah!

1996
01:24:27,040 --> 01:24:30,039
They didn't do it.

1997
01:24:30,040 --> 01:24:31,479
Me do it.

1998
01:24:31,480 --> 01:24:33,767
Don't try and
cover for him, Z-Dog!

1999
01:24:33,880 --> 01:24:35,399
Who's Z-Dog?

2000
01:24:35,400 --> 01:24:36,686
We know they're
trying to get back at us

2001
01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:39,079
for making them do the naked
plunge in our swimming hole.

2002
01:24:39,080 --> 01:24:40,764
Your swimming hole?
I've been swimming

2003
01:24:40,880 --> 01:24:42,564
at the quarry since I
was eight years old.

2004
01:24:42,680 --> 01:24:45,159
Apparently,
everybody in this crap town

2005
01:24:45,160 --> 01:24:48,039
has been swimming there since
they were eight years old.

2006
01:24:48,040 --> 01:24:50,042
I guess nobody
wants to leave this dump

2007
01:24:50,160 --> 01:24:52,162
because they're
too busy sucking!

2008
01:24:52,520 --> 01:24:54,090
(ALL CHEER)

2009
01:24:57,640 --> 01:24:58,999
We'll finish later.

2010
01:24:59,000 --> 01:25:00,519
You promise?
I promise.

2011
01:25:00,520 --> 01:25:02,399
Okay.
BAILEY: Hey, smart guy!

2012
01:25:02,400 --> 01:25:04,639
Lenny Feder left this town,

2013
01:25:04,640 --> 01:25:07,759
moved to Hollywood,
made big bucks,

2014
01:25:07,760 --> 01:25:10,239
probably more money than
all you brainiacs put together

2015
01:25:10,240 --> 01:25:11,319
ever will.

2016
01:25:11,320 --> 01:25:12,526
But guess what?

2017
01:25:12,640 --> 01:25:14,319
He came back here.

2018
01:25:14,320 --> 01:25:16,607
'Cause this
beautiful town is his home.

2019
01:25:16,720 --> 01:25:19,041
And it always will be his home.

2020
01:25:24,360 --> 01:25:28,439
Well, that was just a moving
testament to this community, bro!

2021
01:25:28,440 --> 01:25:32,679
But we didn't come here
to hear any lame speeches.

2022
01:25:32,680 --> 01:25:37,288
We came here to kick
some old, smelly ass!

2023
01:25:43,000 --> 01:25:45,287
Fellas, we may be old.

2024
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:46,719
We may be smelly.

2025
01:25:46,720 --> 01:25:48,722
We may have a penis.

2026
01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:54,639
But the only ones getting
their ass kicked around here

2027
01:25:54,640 --> 01:25:57,530
is gonna be you spoiled,

2028
01:25:57,640 --> 01:26:01,599
privileged,
uppity, preppy D-bags.

2029
01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:02,879
You hear that?

2030
01:26:02,880 --> 01:26:05,281
Now, let's get busy!

2031
01:26:10,240 --> 01:26:12,242
(ALL YELLING AGGRESSIVELY)

2032
01:26:26,280 --> 01:26:27,559
♪ They're
dancing on the ceiling

2033
01:26:27,560 --> 01:26:30,279
♪ They're dancing on the floor

2034
01:26:30,280 --> 01:26:33,439
♪ People everywhere
coming through the door

2035
01:26:33,440 --> 01:26:36,523
♪ They know there's
a party going on ♪

2036
01:26:46,120 --> 01:26:47,759
MARCUS: Come on, son!

2037
01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:48,799
You ain't tough!

2038
01:26:48,800 --> 01:26:50,245
Hit him!

2039
01:26:50,920 --> 01:26:55,369
Yeah, Braden!
Whoo! Yeah! Damn!

2040
01:26:55,480 --> 01:26:56,970
You want this?
Uh-oh!

2041
01:27:01,320 --> 01:27:02,679
Sir, please stop it!

2042
01:27:02,680 --> 01:27:04,999
That's not a sir!
That's a woman!

2043
01:27:05,000 --> 01:27:07,128
My woman!

2044
01:27:07,240 --> 01:27:09,479
Come on, babe.

2045
01:27:09,480 --> 01:27:12,799
♪ I know you're
gonna lose control

2046
01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,119
♪ You can do ♪

2047
01:27:14,120 --> 01:27:16,043
Oh, you're so hot.

2048
01:27:17,160 --> 01:27:18,161
(SCREAMING)

2049
01:27:19,560 --> 01:27:22,439
♪ I know it's cold outside ♪

2050
01:27:22,440 --> 01:27:24,442
Don't bust my face!

2051
01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:26,490
You saved me.

2052
01:27:26,920 --> 01:27:28,160
(GRUNTING)

2053
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:31,759
I will protect you for
the rest of your life.

2054
01:27:31,760 --> 01:27:34,843
Oh, okay, blow dryer boy.

2055
01:27:35,000 --> 01:27:36,001
(YELPS)

2056
01:27:38,320 --> 01:27:39,679
Oh, God, no!

2057
01:27:39,680 --> 01:27:41,799
No! No!

2058
01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:43,879
Yeah! Yeah!

2059
01:27:43,880 --> 01:27:45,679
Having a good anniversary,
babe?

2060
01:27:45,680 --> 01:27:47,011
Oh, honey, the best.

2061
01:27:47,640 --> 01:27:48,641
(SCREAMING)

2062
01:27:50,440 --> 01:27:51,519
(GROWLING)

2063
01:27:51,520 --> 01:27:52,999
I can't breathe.

2064
01:27:53,000 --> 01:27:54,199
Choking me!

2065
01:27:54,200 --> 01:27:55,321
(KYLE GRUNTING AGGRESSIVELY)

2066
01:28:04,720 --> 01:28:05,999
Yeah!

2067
01:28:06,000 --> 01:28:07,879
We did it. We did it, man.

2068
01:28:07,880 --> 01:28:08,919
Yeah.

2069
01:28:08,920 --> 01:28:10,439
We make a good team.

2070
01:28:10,440 --> 01:28:11,965
Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.

2071
01:28:27,800 --> 01:28:28,801
(YELLING)

2072
01:28:38,280 --> 01:28:40,719
♪ I know it's cold outside

2073
01:28:40,720 --> 01:28:43,639
♪ Come on, babe,
I'll keep you satisfied ♪

2074
01:28:43,640 --> 01:28:44,766
Boomer!

2075
01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:46,159
What's going on?

2076
01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:47,679
This!

2077
01:28:47,680 --> 01:28:50,559
You're a traitor, Boomer!

2078
01:28:50,560 --> 01:28:51,766
His name's not Boomer!

2079
01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:54,199
Oh!
It's Gary.

2080
01:28:54,200 --> 01:28:55,439
It's Greg.

2081
01:28:55,440 --> 01:28:57,647
Oh, Greg.

2082
01:29:04,640 --> 01:29:07,039
Oh, my God!
Did you see his head?

2083
01:29:07,040 --> 01:29:08,769
He's got a... He's bald!

2084
01:29:08,920 --> 01:29:10,439
I got a wild one!

2085
01:29:10,440 --> 01:29:12,204
I got a wild one!
Whoo hoo hoo!

2086
01:29:14,080 --> 01:29:15,759
Noogie, noogie, noogie.

2087
01:29:15,760 --> 01:29:17,808
Nobody noogies my brother!

2088
01:29:19,680 --> 01:29:22,081
My brain! My brain!

2089
01:29:26,720 --> 01:29:28,559
B.U.!

2090
01:29:28,560 --> 01:29:30,119
Hey, man! I had that one.

2091
01:29:30,120 --> 01:29:31,799
I know you did, big brother.

2092
01:29:31,800 --> 01:29:32,839
Get out of here!

2093
01:29:32,840 --> 01:29:33,841
Don't hit me!

2094
01:29:33,960 --> 01:29:36,959
Hey, hey, look who showed up.

2095
01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:39,930
Flippy-boy. Yeah, you want to
flip your way out of this?

2096
01:29:41,280 --> 01:29:42,799
Too slow, old man.

2097
01:29:42,800 --> 01:29:44,131
Where you work out, Cinnabon?

2098
01:29:47,280 --> 01:29:48,639
Look who's back up, baby.

2099
01:29:48,640 --> 01:29:50,719
I didn't know we were kicking.
Give me a second to stretch.

2100
01:29:50,720 --> 01:29:52,079
All right.

2101
01:29:52,080 --> 01:29:53,599
We're gonna
throw some legs, huh?

2102
01:29:53,600 --> 01:29:55,284
You want to
throw some legs, huh?

2103
01:29:57,280 --> 01:29:59,199
Boom!

2104
01:29:59,200 --> 01:30:00,929
That just happened.

2105
01:30:01,720 --> 01:30:04,087
What,
were you raised by ninjas?

2106
01:30:05,560 --> 01:30:07,319
Congratulations.

2107
01:30:07,320 --> 01:30:08,399
You won the fight.

2108
01:30:08,400 --> 01:30:09,401
Here's your prize.

2109
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:11,079
Aw!

2110
01:30:11,080 --> 01:30:14,368
Thanks, little girl.
It looks just like you.

2111
01:30:17,000 --> 01:30:18,684
It's a monkey!

2112
01:30:19,160 --> 01:30:20,359
Look at me!

2113
01:30:20,360 --> 01:30:23,330
I'm a stupid little monkey.

2114
01:30:27,400 --> 01:30:29,801
Good night.

2115
01:30:32,480 --> 01:30:34,719
Come on, guys!
We got to get out!

2116
01:30:34,720 --> 01:30:36,085
Let's go!

2117
01:30:38,120 --> 01:30:39,959
Lenny! Baby.

2118
01:30:39,960 --> 01:30:42,040
Baby, are you all right?
I'm coming for you, Leonard!

2119
01:30:42,080 --> 01:30:43,081
(SCREAMS)

2120
01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:46,319
I'm here for you, Leonard.
I'm here for you.

2121
01:30:46,320 --> 01:30:48,359
Who... Who are you?

2122
01:30:48,360 --> 01:30:49,885
It's your pretty, shiny Penny.

2123
01:30:51,880 --> 01:30:54,451
Oops, sorry,
I kicked your barrette.

2124
01:30:55,360 --> 01:30:57,044
(LAUGHING)

2125
01:30:58,240 --> 01:31:00,402
Sorry, honey!

2126
01:31:02,360 --> 01:31:05,599
LENNY: You guys were Fuji
and Tanaka out there.

2127
01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:07,079
This is just like high school.

2128
01:31:07,080 --> 01:31:11,039
Get drunk, get in a fight, wind up
back at Lamonsoff's, eating eggs.

2129
01:31:11,040 --> 01:31:13,042
Except for
the drunk part, Mommy.

2130
01:31:13,320 --> 01:31:14,321
Oh.
(ALL CHUCKLING)

2131
01:31:15,360 --> 01:31:19,046
Oh, all you guys together
brings back so many memories.

2132
01:31:19,560 --> 01:31:20,846
Whoa, Dickie,
is this you and Lenny?

2133
01:31:20,960 --> 01:31:22,246
LENNY: Let's see.

2134
01:31:22,360 --> 01:31:24,599
Yeah, me and Hollywood were
best friends in kindergarten.

2135
01:31:24,600 --> 01:31:25,886
Yep.
What happened?

2136
01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:28,559
What do you mean, "What happened?"
We were in different classes.

2137
01:31:28,560 --> 01:31:29,800
We kind of
drifted apart, right?

2138
01:31:29,920 --> 01:31:32,159
Yeah. He was in
those smart classes.

2139
01:31:32,160 --> 01:31:33,719
I was in the other classes.

2140
01:31:33,720 --> 01:31:34,721
(ALL LAUGH)

2141
01:31:36,280 --> 01:31:37,645
Hey, who's this guy?

2142
01:31:37,760 --> 01:31:39,603
Anybody remember him?
LENNY: Who is that?

2143
01:31:39,720 --> 01:31:40,919
Wow, what happened to that kid?

2144
01:31:40,920 --> 01:31:42,160
He's still here.

2145
01:31:45,520 --> 01:31:47,959
Why do I know my new kid's gonna
end up looking like that?

2146
01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:49,086
You're having a baby, Lenny?

2147
01:31:49,200 --> 01:31:50,326
Yeah.

2148
01:31:50,440 --> 01:31:51,930
Yeah, so I'm told,
Mrs. Lamonsoff.

2149
01:31:52,080 --> 01:31:53,799
Oh, a surprise, huh?

2150
01:31:53,800 --> 01:31:55,165
Yes.

2151
01:31:55,280 --> 01:31:58,919
People today try to
plan things out so much.

2152
01:31:58,920 --> 01:32:02,199
But don't think an unexpected
child is loved any less

2153
01:32:02,200 --> 01:32:04,441
than one you planned for.

2154
01:32:05,080 --> 01:32:06,730
Someday, Lenny,
you won't even remember

2155
01:32:06,840 --> 01:32:08,560
what life was like
with just three children.

2156
01:32:09,960 --> 01:32:11,803
You think we wanted Eric?
(COUGHS)

2157
01:32:11,920 --> 01:32:13,479
He was an accident.
Mama.

2158
01:32:13,480 --> 01:32:16,679
His father and I were in the
men's room at a Patriots game...

2159
01:32:16,680 --> 01:32:18,919
You know what, I think I'm
just gonna turn the page here.

2160
01:32:18,920 --> 01:32:21,079
I'm turning the page.

2161
01:32:21,080 --> 01:32:22,525
Finish the story!

2162
01:32:33,000 --> 01:32:36,239
Officer Dante's
passed out on our lawn.

2163
01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:39,839
I know. I saw him
trying to arrest an anthill.

2164
01:32:39,840 --> 01:32:40,841
(ROXANNE CHUCKLES)

2165
01:32:42,840 --> 01:32:44,922
Want to talk about
the whole pregnancy thing?

2166
01:32:47,040 --> 01:32:48,159
Mmm.

2167
01:32:48,160 --> 01:32:50,079
It's okay.
We'll talk tomorrow.

2168
01:32:50,080 --> 01:32:51,399
Okay.

2169
01:32:51,400 --> 01:32:54,722
Okay, you go to sleep. I'll make
this between me and the baby.

2170
01:32:56,880 --> 01:32:57,881
(SIGHS)

2171
01:33:02,160 --> 01:33:04,162
Hello in there.

2172
01:33:04,560 --> 01:33:06,210
This is your daddy speaking.

2173
01:33:08,040 --> 01:33:11,399
I just want to tell you
welcome to the family,

2174
01:33:11,400 --> 01:33:14,847
and I love you very,
very, very much.

2175
01:33:15,160 --> 01:33:19,006
I really don't care if
you're a boy or girl.

2176
01:33:19,960 --> 01:33:22,930
I just need you to
promise me one thing.

2177
01:33:23,360 --> 01:33:27,239
When you're in elementary
school, study ballet,

2178
01:33:27,240 --> 01:33:29,925
so I can see that teacher
as much as possible.

2179
01:33:30,320 --> 01:33:31,359
Hey.

2180
01:33:31,360 --> 01:33:33,283
I knew that was coming.

2181
01:33:35,200 --> 01:33:38,727
To be honest, I don't need
no stinking ballet teacher.

2182
01:33:39,040 --> 01:33:41,919
I'm married to the most
beautiful woman in the world,

2183
01:33:41,920 --> 01:33:43,206
your mommy.

2184
01:33:43,880 --> 01:33:45,530
Are you saying
sweet things to me

2185
01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:47,364
because you want
to fool around?

2186
01:33:47,640 --> 01:33:50,405
That would be a nice way
to kick off the summer.

2187
01:33:50,520 --> 01:33:53,649
Okay, Mr. Romantic.

2188
01:33:54,000 --> 01:33:55,839
But let's do this quick,

2189
01:33:55,840 --> 01:33:57,759
we have a big
day tomorrow, okay?

2190
01:33:57,760 --> 01:33:59,039
Absolutely.

2191
01:33:59,040 --> 01:34:00,804
Watch your head in there.

2192
01:34:01,040 --> 01:34:02,041
(CHUCKLES)

2193
01:34:04,080 --> 01:34:05,081
LENNY: Whoo!

2194
01:34:05,880 --> 01:34:06,959
(KISSING)

2195
01:34:06,960 --> 01:34:09,359
Hang on.
Hang on. I'm sorry, honey.

2196
01:34:09,360 --> 01:34:12,569
Don't move. Don't move.
Oh, my God, I'm going to!

2197
01:34:12,680 --> 01:34:15,079
(BURPSNARTS)

2198
01:34:15,080 --> 01:34:19,722
I did it! I burpsnarted! Yes!

2199
01:34:19,840 --> 01:34:21,559
ROXANNE: Lenny, grow up!

2200
01:34:21,560 --> 01:34:23,927
LENNY: I did it for the baby!