I'm going to try to address your email in the manner written, addressing your points the best I can.  This will in no way address everything, but maybe it's a start.

I'm sorry you have such horrible memories of your childhood and understand what you are saying about Amy and you as a child, but she was a child too and if not, then she was under the influence of something - you said so yourself.  You have to stop thinking that she was doing things on purpose to actually kill you - no matter what you thought then and now.  If she was high, then that was most of the problem.  You can not keep blaming her for things that happened when you were both kids. As far as terrorizing you after she left home, no excuses, shit was said, things done, but she is my flesh and blood just like you.  She is not the same person she was no matter how much you want to think she is.  Her brain is not the same, she doesn't remember stuff, she doesn't remember things done to you - convenient you say - brain tumor I say.  You want to punish her for what she did, but you can't. She is damaged and what happened in the past has to be gotten over.  If you can't get past what was done by her on your own, then seek help, but continually hating her for things done in the past is useless and only causes you harm.

Ashley is an asshole but I ignore him for Amy's sake.  That is what you do for someone you love.  I know you hate him, hate her, hate me for letting him come over, but he only comes over for a few minutes and not every night.  They go into her room as quick as I can get them in there.  She is not going to leave in the cold just because you don't want to see him.  I told him last Christmas that I knew exactly what he said and that if he did something like that again he would not be allowed back in.  He has not said anything to you since.  I won't allow it.  Not the total ban you want, but it is what is going to continue to be.

When it comes to Will, do I need to say it again that Amy's memory is not all there? Do I need to say again that I am nearly 64 years old and have known your child as Kate her entire life?  I have been trying my very best, as has Amy to say things properly and to call us out because we sometimes don't get it right is just wrong.  I am doing my very best with Will and saying that I am repeatedly (purposefully) misgendering and deadnaming him is not true.  You make it sound like I want to hurt him, which is absurd and very hurtful to me.

Bringing up going back to some time when Steven may have watched Will and repeating things that may or may not have happened then - and nothing being said then, we have to bring shit up now?!!! - are you just looking for things to throw at me? Like I purposefully did shit just to hurt you and Will but of course, only take Amy and Steven's side? What is the purpose of doing this?  Do you think everything that a child does when a child should not ever be forgotten due to the fact that they have grown up and matured?  Why do you continually go back to childhood? Things have to be gotten past.

Yeah Ashley is a convicted felon, a repeated drug and alcohol abuser, and a literal fuck up, but then so was your dad.  You may not remember and definitely don't want to hear it but I took enough abuse from your dad for him being all those above things that you think I want to take them from Asshole? and you insinuating that I am is so insulting.  He follows rules around here or he doesn't come over.  I am in charge.

So sorry the wheelchair is loud.  Nothing I can do about that. Amy's leg has not healed enough to walk on so the wheelchair is a must.

The tv is loud because Amy has hearing problems (brain injury).  I turn it down when I can and try to keep the door closed, but if you think I'm going to shut her up in a room so that you and Will can pretend she doesn't exist, that ain't going to happen.  If you too kept the same basic hours as we do - up in the day, sleep at night, my laughing wouldn't bother you.  It is quiet up here by 11 pm.  If that is too late for you too I'm sorry but not going to change my schedule especially when I am awakened at 2, 3, 4, and 5 by the bathroom.

You won't have to worry about anyone saying hi to either of you when you come up or bye when you go back down.  Didn't realize that civility bothered you so but it will not happen again.  I don't mean that in a nasty way, simply trying to respect what you want and don't want to piss you off.  It was only ever trying to be civil.

Not sure what comments about Will eating chips are disgusting and hypocritical except that I do ask him not to eat chips and dip at 4-4:30 when I always cook dinner at 6 because he never eats dinner.  I've never said anything about weight or anything else so not sure why I am so hypocritical.  If you're talking about Amy's eating, which is also none of your business, her brain is still trying to heal.  I know you don't give a shit about her and could care less, but the truth is the truth.  What her brain craves it will have until she is healed enough to know the difference.  You dictating to me how to handle her rehab, etc. like you are trained in this field is not helping.

This has addressed so little of what you wrote to me about, but I can't go on.  I love you with all my heart, I don't want you to leave, but you are once again asking me to choose between my children.  I will not do that.  If you can't accept Amy living here until I feel I can turn her loose on her own, I don't know what will happen.  Yes everything revolves around Amy and it will continue to do so until she no longer needs that type of help.  You and Will do not need that help. You both have two working hands and two working legs, which Amy does not.  I take you to doctor's appointments, I pay for your medicine, your cigarettes, your pot, anything you need and never ask for anything in return because that is what a parent does for their child.  Don't ask me not to do that for Amy - even if you hate her and everything she stands for.  She is my child.  Would you do any less for Will?

I'm so sorry you and Will are so miserable here. I know you have no place to go or you wouldn't be here, but you are making demands that simply can't be met.  You are blaming me for making food Will doesn't like, blaming me for Will being miserable here, for the both of you spending your time crying, all because of me - blaming me for everything that has ever gone wrong in either of your lives. I think maybe you both could take a little responsibility for your actions, but then that's me.  I will try my best to respect you both and hope that you can do the same.

Love me