>>11225955
I NO WAT IT IS TO LOSE HOPE.
U NO MAN, THIS IS HOW IT IS. WE GOT ALL THESE WEE PANGS OF FEELIN THAT OUR SHITTY PRIMEVAL BRAIN IS TRYIN 2 CRONTROL US W/
U HAD A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE W/ A GURL WHO LIES 2 HERSELF CONCERNIN HER MOTIVATIONS
SHE HAS CHOSEN ENLIGHTENMENT 2 B HER god damn man
I CANT REMEMBER THE WORD IT EVADES ME
IT IS EITHER
TALISMAN
OR AMULET LOL
I SPENT AGES TRYIN 2 FIND OUT
omg but wait A FRIEND TOLD ME THE ANSWER IT IS GORGET. LOL U PROBS DNT KNOW WAT IT IS. IT PROTECTS YOU'RE THROAT, IT'S A TYPE OF ARMOUER LOL OKAY SORRY I DIGRESSE
I MEAN IT SYMBOLICALLY, IT IS LIEK HER THING THAT GIVES HER A VENEERR OF 'SPECIALNES'S'
BUT NO1 IS SPECIAL..
ONCE U ACCEPT IT, U CAN SEE PPL AS THEY ARE. NAKED, QUIVERING, VULNERABLE, SAD THINGS IF THEY DO NOT BUCK UP THEIR ACT AND STEP 2 THE PLATE.
BUT MAN, U DNT GOTTA BELIEVE WAT I SAY TO GIVE U HOPE. DNT LISTEN 2 ANY1 EXCEPT THAT WHICH MAKES SENSE TO U -- THAT WHICH SAYS WAT U BELIEVE DEEP DOWN BUT HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO COMMIT TO LANGUAGE. (THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO UR ALREADY HELD CONCEPT SLOL WHICH U SHUD BE READY TO ABANDON WEN U KNOW YOUR WRONG)
neway WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY HERE
IS SHE WAS A MANIPULATIVE PERSON -- A PRODUCT OF A MISGUIDED BELIEF THAT U NEED 2 ATTEMPT TO CONTROL PPL OR REIGN THEM IN TO FORM A RELATIONSHIP W/ THEM. THAT IS ONE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP BUT IT IS A DISEASED RELATIONSHIP OF IMABALANCE, PARTIAL TO DESTRUCTION AS YOURSE WAS.
U HAD 2 MANY IDEAS ABOUT WAT U WANTED IN A PERSON. U SOUND LIKE U WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP W/ URESELF AND THAT IS A SICK, NARCISSISTIC URGE THAT I CAN RELATE TO, AS AT ONE TIME I WANTED THAT.
THE IDEA OF 'HAVIN THINGS IN COMMON' IS BULLSHIT AND LENDS ITSELF TO THE IDEA THAT A PERSONS KNOWLEDGE AND INTERESTS CAN BE BOILED DOWN 2 A LIST OF THREE ITEMS. U GOTTA FIND SUM1 WILLING TO LEARN AND TEACH. THAT IS SUMTHING I BELIEVE IN..
U GOTTA HAVE FAITH AND USE URE INTUITION W/ PEOPLE. DON'T BLINDLY FOLLOW BUT DON'T BE PARANOID -- BALANCE. U LOVED HER TOO MUCH, BUT REALLY IT WASN'T LOVE AT ALL. U DEPENDED ON HER LOVE AND WEN IT WAS PULLED AWAY U FELL BUTT FIRST IN2 A COLD, DARK PIT OF DISPAIR.
U NO HOW EASY IT IS 2 B DEPRESSED?? I MEAN THAT SOUNDS COUNTA INTRUITIVE BECUS BEIN DEPRESSED IS HARD AS WELL....
WAT I MEAN IS
IT IS EASY TO SUCCUMB 2 DEPRESSION AND HARD 2 BE HAPPY. THE IRONING IS DELICIOUS.
I HAVE FELT AN URGE SUMTIMES. A URGE TO BE SAD, TO WALLOW IN SELF-PITY. IT IS SO TEMPTING COS IT IS SO EASY AND LETS US FEEL SELF-RIGHTEOUS, A FEELIN OF VICTIMIZATION LIKE THE WORLD HAS WRONGED U AND IT IS A TERRIBLE WURLD AT THAT. BUT I CANNOT GIVE IN 2 IT. IC ANNOT AND THEIR ARE TIMES I HAVE TRIED. I BELIEVE 2 MUCH IN MYSELF. I AM GLAD I HAVE THESE SYSTEMS IN PLACE -- THEY SAVE ME FRUM GIVIN IN 2 MY BASE DESIRES.
NE1 CAN HAVE THIS SHIT IF I CAN. I DNT THINK I AM SPECIAL OR PARTICULARLY ENLIGHTENED. I REALISED AT ONE TIME IN MY LIFE I HAD AN UNSAID FEELIN THAT THESES WERE TRUE.
STILL, AS WE LEARN, WE RELISE THAT ITS INEVITABLE THAT AT SOME POINT U WILL THINK UR SET APART FROM OTHERS, AND THAT URE POSITIVE AND NEATIVE TRAITS ARE SINGULAR TO URSELF.
THE POSTiTIVE MAKES U ARROGANT AND THE NEGATIVE MAKES U DEPRESSED.
BUT WAT I AM TRYIN 2 SAY THRU ALL THIS IS WORK ON YOURESELF BEFORE WORRYIN ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS BRO..
PPL WHO ARE LOOKIN FOR LOVE WILL FIND IT. ITS A GUARANTEE. LIKE WEN U SEE A FACE ON A TREE TRUNK OR IN URE WALLPAPER. UR BRAIN FINDS WAT IT WANTS.
2 QUOTE A BOOK I WAS READIN THAT ACTUELLY WON DA NOBALL PRIZE 4 LITERETURE
"Everyone had a friend in every wisp of cloud, that's how it is with friends when the world is full of fear, even my mother said it, that's how it is, friends are out of the question, think of more serious things."
THIS CHOOSES 2 TAKE A SLIGHTLY MORE NEGATIVE VIEW THAN ID O, BUT THEIRS SUM TRUTH IN IT ---
NEWAY THE FINAL WURD FROM ME IS....
U CAN MAKE URSELF HAPPY U DNT NEED SUM1 ELSE, BUT SUM1 ELSE MAY COME ALONG SOMETIME. I DNT MEAN 'THE ONE TRUE LUVE U HAVE BEEN W8ING FOR' BUT RATHER, A KINDRED SPIRIT.
THINK OF IT THAT WAY
UR CLEARLY A THINKIN AND FEELIN PERSON
HOPEFULLY IT WILL GUIDE U BUT MAKE SURE THERE IS BALANCE BETWEEN UR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS, DNT LET ONE DOMINATE