Get Cutter Get Butter 2

May 22nd, 2016
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  1. >"Twilight, what have I told you about drinking your coffee so quickly?" Rarity chided, a grin on her face even while she shook her head
  2. >Her horn glowed, her magic encasing your tongue
  3. >Your pain wiggles slow down as the pain in your tongue quickly ceases
  4. >...
  5. >Is the entire store looking at you?
  6. >...
  7. >Yep
  8. >Yep, everypony here is looking at you
  9. >10/10
  10. >Seeing that her spell--a spell which you were going to have to get from her in the near future-- did its job, Rarity leaned forward
  11. >"Now, what has you in such a fuss that you had to call an emergency meeting out of the blue like this?"
  12. >"Yeah," Rainbow said, yawning hugely. "Some of us were TRYING to nap you know."
  13. >Your nose scrunched up a little more as you looked over at the lazy pegasus, who stuck her tongue out at you
  14. >MakeEquestriaGreatAgainbyBuildingaWallthePegasiareStealingOurJobs.scroll
  15. >Not one to take a challenge laying down, you stuck your tongue out as well
  16. >This caused Rainbow to stick her tongue out a little more, leaning forward on the table
  17. >This made you stuck your tongue out even, even more nearly laying on the ta--
  18. >"Twi, if ya have somethin' ta say can ya just spit it out?" Appljack asked, pushing her now empty glass to the center of the table. "I gotta lot o' work ta do back at the farm."
  19. >...
  20. >Oh right...
  21. >Clearing your throat, you sat back in your seat
  22. "Have you girls heard about Anon's new gym that he opened up in the middle of town?"
  23. >The girls nodded
  24. >"Yeppers!" Pinkie chirped, pulling her now snow white muzzle from her bowl. "Nonny came in when it first opened to ask if he could put up a few flyers announcing that it opened!"
  25. >"I heard Roseluck talking about it when I was getting carrots for Angel Bunny," Fluttershy whisper-mumbled
  26. >Rainbow crossed her hooves
  27. >"We've all heard about it, Egghead. So what does it have to do with us?" she demanded
  29. >IsTwilightSparklegonnahavetoslapafilly?
  30. "Just give me a second, Rainbow, I'm getting there" you said. "Though you don't think it is this is actually pretty important."
  31. >The pegasus huffed but said nothing as you turned back toward Pinkie
  32. "Now, Pinkie, I saw that Mr. Cake was in Anon's gym this morning."
  33. >Pinkie nodded
  34. >"Yep! He's been going there every morning for the last couple of weeks before he starts work."
  35. >You leaned on the table slightly, a small, worried frown coming to your face
  36. "Has Mr. Cake been acting any... different? Has his behavior changed any at all?"
  37. >Pinkie's bright, cheery smile diminished somewhat as she looked down at the table, thoughtfully humming
  38. >"Wellllllll... He's been eating a lot more than he used to," she said. "And Mrs. Cake seems a little nervous around him because he likes to touch her flank when she's bent over the--"
  39. >NOPE!
  40. >Too much information!
  43. "He's a lot more aggressive than he was before he started going to Anon's gym right?" you interrupted
  44. >Pinkie nodded once again, shifting in her seat uncomfortably
  45. >"Yeah... it's almost like he's been acting like a..."
  46. "A mare?"
  47. >"Yeah! But one of big meanie mares that whistle at stallions when they cross the street and touch their butts when they're not looking!"
  48. >You hummed, tapping your hoof against your chin
  49. >So the stallions just didn't act like that in the gym...
  50. >They were aggressive even in the privacy of their own homes...
  51. >Your mind scuffled through all of the stallions that you had seen in the gym before you had had to retreat
  52. >Many of them had been older stallions; stallions with foals and herds and businesses
  53. >And if their experiences were anything like Flutter Butter's and Mrs. Cake's then you can only imagine how badly they were taking having their stallions turn into... this
  55. >...
  56. >You liked Anon, you really did, and you knew that even though he was HUGE he wouldn't hurt a fly, but his gym was causing problems
  57. >Somehow, for some reason, the stallions coming out of that gym were turning into... not stallions
  58. >They were more aggressive, more authoritative, DIFFERENT
  59. >You might have been a progressive mare but having stallions like THIS was too different, almost... wrong
  60. >It was turning harmony into chaos
  61. >It was turning the sanctity of herding
  62. >It was... BAD!
  63. >If you didn't do something there was going to be anarchy in the streets, and maybe worse if this continued...
  64. >You motioned for the girls to huddle together
  65. >They did, all of them looking at you expectantly
  66. "Alright, I'm going to start from the beginning. See, I was sitting at this very table waiting for my food when..."
  68. >You took a deep breath as you looked around the gym floor
  69. >YOUR gym floor
  70. >It was about noon time, so the place was mostly empty, though there was a stallion or two getting their workout on and you were pretty sure there was a mare over at the dumbbells
  71. >...
  72. >At least it looked like a mare...
  73. >...
  74. >Whatever...
  75. >In an hour or two the gym would be filled to the brim with the afternoon crowd, but right now the gym was mostly silent
  76. >In this silence, you took stock, breathing in the sweat and the blood and the tears and the smell of that made up your gym
  77. >You had done it
  78. >After all of those years of working like a dog, after having to start all over when you found yourself in horseland, you had a gym
  79. >You had a gym full of equipment that was nobody else's but yours
  80. >And not only did you have a gym you had (what appeared to be) a successful one
  81. >About a hundred and fifty ponies, made up of both mares AND stallions, came in and out of this building everyday, with more and more joining by the day
  82. >And sure, it was nice that you were RAKING in the bits, but that's not why you made this gym, nor was it why you were so happy
  84. >You could care less about the bits; you weren't trying to make a quick buck and hoping for a New Year's crowd
  85. >No
  86. >You wanted LIFTERS; weirdos like you who didn't treat the gym like a chore or just another thing in their schedule, but as a lifestyle
  87. >You wanted people who went to bed at twelve at night and got up at four in the morning so that they could get in a lift before they went to work
  88. >You wanted people who just ate the same thing at the same time everyday without failure
  89. >Powerlifters, Olympic lifters, Bodybuilders, you didn't give a damn
  90. >You just wanted LIFTERS
  91. >And, to your surprise, you found some in this little town
  92. >You smiled as you took another deep breath, putting your hands on your hips as you looked around YOUR gym
  93. >Smelly and with some rusted and slightly busted equipment, but it was still your gym...
  94. >....
  95. >Your gym...
  96. >A rumbling in your tummy brought you back to reality
  97. >Quickly looking over at the clock that you had on the wall you noticed that it was twelve-thirty
  98. >Aka the time when you stuffed your face so you didn't to catabolic and shrink into nothing
  99. >With one last look around the gym, you spun around and made your way through the door into the lobby
  100. >The fellas had invited you to the park today for lunch
  101. >Mr. Cake had insisted that you come since he was working on these protein brownies that he wanted you to try ou--
  102. >"Nonny!"
  103. >You blinked as you found your face pressed against someone's furry, pink tummy as they hugged your head like the adorable little face hugger that they were
  104. >...
  105. >Eh
  106. >4/10, assassin attempt could have been better
  107. >You gently peeled your pink attacker off of you and held them out in front of you by the scruff of their neck
  108. >Pinkie Pie?
  109. "Pank?"
  110. >The pink party pony giggled, squirming in the air as she looked up at you
  111. >"Nonny!" she chirped, spreading her hooves out wide
  112. >While this pone, just like many other pones, was usually AGGRESSIVELY naked, today Ponto had a headband on that forehead of her's
  114. >She also had a hoof(?)band on each of her legs
  115. >...
  116. >"Pinkie! Honestly we can't keep our eyes off of you for five seconds, can we!"
  117. >A blue aura encased the pank, floating her out of your grasp and onto the floor
  118. >You looked away from Pinkie to see that there were other little horses standing in your lobby
  119. >There was shit bird pone, Appulz, Twiggles, Rararara and Fluttershy
  120. >...
  121. >Jesus Christ...
  122. >You didn't even notice them...
  123. >Someone REALLY needed to put a bell of these tiny, silent little horses...
  124. >...
  125. >Where the HELL was your receptionists?
  126. >"What if you would have hurt poor Anon with your shenanigans?" Rarity demanded, her nose scrunched up as she stood beside her friend
  127. >Pinkie snorted
  128. >"Pl-ease, Rarity! The only way I could knock Nonny over is if I took his pants off and used my tongue to--"
  129. >You loudly cleared your throat
  130. "So... what can I do you girls for?" you asked
  131. >As you looked down at them a certain... feeling overcame you
  132. >It wasn't a very good feeling
  133. >It felt like you were sitting in a doctor's office waiting for the results of an STD test that you just took
  134. >Nervousness, a feeling like your world was about to change, slight satisfaction in the fact that you only cried for five minutes after the girl who may or may not have almost ruined your life had wanted offered to do anal with you
  135. >You weren't the one giving
  136. >...
  137. >She also didn't take no for an answer
  138. >"Anon? Are you okay there? You look a little... overwhelmed..."
  139. >Oh you had been overwhelmed alright...
  140. >You didn't think that all of if would fit inside of you but she managed to CRAM every inch of it in
  141. >And in and in and in...
  142. >...
  143. >She didn't even cuddle afterward
  145. >"Anon?"
  146. >You jumped slightly as Rarity touched your leg
  147. "Wha--who--I'm alright! I'm ALRIGHT!" you said a little too loudly
  148. >Easy Anon, Easy
  149. >You're in a different dimension now
  150. >She can't get you OR your butt
  151. >You're a big man
  152. >A
  153. >BIG
  154. >MAN
  155. >Awkwardly clearing your throat, you looked back down at the girls
  156. "Sorry about that, It's been a long day. Now, what can I do you for?"
  157. >The girls looked at each other in a way you didn't like before Twiggles took a step forward and puffed her chest out
  158. >"The girls and I would like to join your gym, Anon," she said confidently
  159. >Though Rararara's nose scrunched up a bit she nodded as well
  160. >"Yes... we wish to get fit and grow our muscles and all of that," she said, halfheartedly pumping a hoof into the air
  161. >...
  162. >Oh...
  163. >Oh...
  164. >That about to be butt raped feeling wasn't going away; in fact it wasn't going away even a little bit
  165. >And that's when Twilight said it; a collection of words that set off your normie meter so hard that it took your breath away
  166. >It wasn't something you were supposed to say aloud in a gym like this, not if you didn't want to get thrown out of the place by the gym regulars anyway
  167. >In fact, if you weren't the patron to this fine establishment, an establishment that you wanted to have a good name for the foreseeable future, you would have tossed these little horses out without a second thought
  168. > "We were also wondering if you had trainers so me and the girls could learn the ropes? I don't know if you guys practice crossflex here but I've kinda always wanted to try it out, so if you have somepony for that could you point them out to us please?
  170. >"Could you explain the mechanics of this movement again?"
  171. "Twilight."
  172. >"I know that I have to bend my knees but at what degrees do I have to bend them?"
  173. "Twilight."
  174. >"And is there a optimum amount of air that I need to breath in for each rep? Or maybe there's a certain technique to the breathing that will help me with the exercise?"
  175. >You scratched your chin as you looked down at Twiggles
  176. >...
  177. >She was trying
  178. >No matter what she was trying, Anon, and that was the first step
  179. >The purple princess smiled up at you with the innocence of a new born babe
  180. > You could SMELL the normie on her
  181. "Twilight... You know that you're just stretching right?" you carefully asked. "We're just doing this so you can get warmed up."
  182. >"Oh, I KNOW," Twiggles said with a giggle, waving a hoof. "But there has to be a way that I can do these stretches in the best way right? I mean I've only read a little bit on the subject but what I've found--"
  183. >You looked away from the Princess of Friendship toward the dumbbell rack
  184. >Rainbow and Applejack were standing in front of the mirror, wildly flailing the heaviest weights that they could get their grubby little hooves on as they eyed each other like the closet lesbians that they were
  185. >...
  186. >They were going to pull something
  187. >They were going to pull something and someone was going to have to get an ice pack or possibly take a trip to the doctors...
  188. >You looked away from those two dummies to where you had some treadmills sitting
  189. >There was Mrs. Rarity on one of your machines
  190. >The fashionista had her treadmill on the lowest setting, trying to chat with a few of the stallions standing around the power racks that she was near
  191. >More like flirting that talking, but, to your pride, the stallion's completely ignored her
  192. >"--And, though Clean and Snatch's hypothesis might not be as tested as I would like, it seems to have some real--"
  193. >Your nose scrunched up as you looked back down at Twilight for a half-second
  194. >She was still talking?
  196. >...Jesus Christ...
  197. >Shaking your head, you looked over toward where you kept the weight balls and other, larger gym equipment
  198. >Somehow, in the minute and a half since you looked at her, Pinkie had managed to make this... contraption out of medicine balls, logs, and two barbells
  199. >You had no idea what the hell it was for but you didn't like that look in Pinkie's eyes...
  200. >You didn't like it one little bit
  201. >And from the looks of the other gym patrons they didn't like it all that much either
  202. "Pinkie! Put that shit back where you found it!" you yelled from across the gym
  203. >"Aw! But I was going to start the fire!"
  204. "I'm going to light a fire under your ass if you screw up my gym equipment you little horse!"
  205. >Almost everyone in the gym sighed in relief as Pinkie, with a disappointed groan, began to deconstruct the monstrosity that she had created
  206. >...
  207. >"--I know that Sheepish monks of the Highlands like to use the Bahamian method to relax the joints but--"
  208. "Twilight, fuck up for a goddamn minute," you finally snapped, your nose scrunching up when you couldn't find the last pain in your ass that you had unwillingly let loose amongst your people
  209. >Where the hell was Flutter--
  210. >Oh, there she was
  211. >Flutter-butter was laying on a mat near one of the only windows that you had in this big ass room
  212. >The pegasus looked like she was attempting push ups, her widdle nose scrunched up in concentration as she tried to pick herself back up with both her hooves and her wings
  213. >She wasn't really getting anywhere, more wiggling than anything else, but like Twilight she was trying
  214. >Trying her little heart out
  215. >You awed quietly
  216. >Don't give up lil' Flutters...
  217. >Someday you'll make it...
  218. >You scratched your chin as you looked back down at Twilight, the only one who had decided to stretch with you
  219. >To be fair neither of you had gotten all that much stretching done, what with Twilight and all of her fucking questions, but fuck it
  220. >Time to throw this little horse to the lions
  221. >The iron lions
  223. "Alright, Twiggles, I think we got enough stretching done. Why don't you go and get the rest of your little buddies so we can start these lessons?"
  224. >Twilight blinked
  225. >"...But Anon, you still haven't answered any of my questi--thmp!"
  226. "Go and get your friends before I pop a blood vessel, Spackle," you said, keeping your hand firmly clamped around her muzzle. "PLEASE."
  227. >Jesus Zyzz Christ...
  229. "Urgh!"
  230. >Be Time Turner
  231. >"HAH! One, two, thre. Breath, breath, breath. HAH! Push it! PUSH IT!"
  232. >You were spending your Thursday morning participating in your third favorite activity: that being lifting heavy objects, usually of the metallic variety
  233. "Hah! Big as a bear! BIG AS A BEAR! HAH!"
  234. >At that moment you were on one of the many deadlifting platforms playing the most dangerous game of all
  235. >The deadlifting game
  236. "Hah! Get it up! GET. It. Up. COLT!"
  237. >A puff of chalk hit you square in the face as you slammed a chalky hoof against your chest
  238. >There was a thin sheen of sweat coating your body as you stood over what was soon going to be your new max
  239. >You were also breathing pretty heavily, your eyes bugged out and your expression crazed
  240. >Ever since you had woken up this morning you had been getting ready for this lift
  241. >You had yourself a VERY hearty breakfast, you took a FAR more preworkout than the equine body could properly handle, and your bedazzled lifting belt looked REALLY good in this lighting
  242. >You were ready
  243. >...
  244. >You were ready, and for some reason you could see EVERYTHING
  245. > Dat preworkout tho'
  246. >Growling to yourself, you got into position, gripping onto the bar as hard as you could
  247. "Come on! COMEON! Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeon!"
  248. >You jerked the bar, causing it to bend slightly as the weight resisted you
  249. >Yeah...
  250. >YEAH!
  251. >This was just what you needed after a whole week of getting bugged by your mares about not making them breakfast in the morning anymore!
  252. "Come one! Shark week! Red balloon! Alfalfa! Stingray!"
  254. >What? Couldn't they make breakfast themselves?!
  255. >You already made them lunch and dinner-- and did a FINE job of it thank you very much-- and didn't get so much as a thank you from ANY of them!
  256. >You grunted again, a snarl on your face as you jerked at the bar
  257. >Couldn't you just have a little time to yourself in the morning?
  258. >Couldn't your mares get off their lazy flanks every once in a while and cook for themselves?
  259. >You've seen them cook before; you KNOW that they can do it
  260. >So was it too much to ask if they just made their OWN breakfast?
  261. >Was that REALLY too much to ask?
  262. >Was it?
  263. >WAS IT?!
  264. >[angry swole stallion noises]
  265. >You took a deep breath, your dilated eyes staring at the small orange goblin from across the room, and you tighten up your body
  266. > Thepre'sgotmejohnny.jpg
  268. >"Howdy, Turner!"
  269. >Your roar of triumph turns into a yelp of surprise as somepony up and slaps you on the back
  270. >The bar, which you had been griping so tightly how were you even doing that? You didn't even have hooves yo... slipped out of your hooves
  271. >Your weight SLAMMED against the platform as you stumbled backward
  272. >...
  273. >The moment was gone
  276. >Gritting your teeth, you spun around to see who would be STUPID enough to interrupt somepony while they were in the middle of a lift; a lift that was VERY dangerous if not fully focused on it
  277. >"Whoo howdy! That sure it a lotta weight! Are ya sure ya can pick something like that up?!"
  278. >Your anger diminishes somewhat as you stare at the smiling, oblivious face of Applejack
  279. "...Applejack?" you muttered, your nose scrunching up
  280. >Applejack smiled that country smile of her's that her and her whole family were so, so good at
  282. >A smile that, even now, brought a bit of a smile to your face
  283. >Not much of one, the bucking filly just RUINED your lift, but it was still there
  284. >"Ah just wanted ta come 'ver and say hello since I saw ya over here, Turner," Applejack said, nudging you. "Big Mac also wanted me ta tell ya that he'd be more 'an happy ta go ta that wine thingy in Manehattan with ya, so I figured I'd mosey on over an' tell ya!"
  285. >...
  286. >Awesome!
  287. >That meant--
  288. >...Wait a minute...
  289. >This filly darn near killed you over that?!
  290. >Mac could have told you that himself later today!
  291. >She didn't need to risk your SPINE over that!
  292. >But
  293. >BUT...
  294. >You knew Applejack
  295. >While she was a looker she didn't have all that much going on in the cute little noggin of her's
  296. >She probably didn't even realize what she did to you, the country bumpkin that she was...
  297. >100% mad reduced to 50% mad
  298. "Well, that's great, Applejack, but--"
  299. >"Hey, Turner! Watch this!"
  300. >You turned your head to look back at your weight
  301. >There, straining with all of her might to pick up the weight, was Rainbow Dash
  302. >"Yeah... I'm gonna... lift this weight... so bucking... good!"
  303. >A noise escaped Rainbow's throat that sounded almost like a pained whine, her wings desperately flapping
  304. >She...
  305. >She...
  306. >She was going to REALLY hurt herself...
  307. >You took a step back, concern coming to your face when you noticed how curled the pegasi's back was
  308. >...
  309. >Okay...
  311. >First Applejack appears and now Rainbow?
  312. >You don't remember seeing these fillies ever coming to this gym before...
  313. "Um... Rainbow? Maybe you should take some of the weights off to warm up before you start lifting that much weight? You know, so you don't hurt yourself?"
  314. >Seeing that she wasn't able to pick up the weight, Rainbow then tried her hoof at pushing the weight
  315. >While the plates that you had on your bar were ROUND she seemed to be doing a VERY poor job of it
  316. >Pegasi be light yo
  317. >"Nah... I got... I bucking got... this," Rainbow grunted, pushing with all of her might. "I got this SO... bucking much..."
  318. >...
  319. >You stood there for a moment as a certain feeling began to overcome you
  320. >You've never felt this feeling before, but, for some reason, it felt so so right
  321. >Your ears perked up as you heard a whisper of a sound
  322. >Something that only a chosen few could hear
  323. reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....
  324. > "Normies," you muttered, a feeling of utter and overpowering disgust filling you to the brim "Get out of my bucking gym.... REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  325. >And that's when the screaming began
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