Towergirls Tutorial Dialogue

<<start>>
char0: Oy!  Throw another pint over 'ere!
{buff|apply|char|0|Drunk|Crippling Failure}

Ale Knight: Aye, aye!  Nothin' we brave knights deserve more, I'd say!

Wine Knight: Only thing you deserve is a day at the stocks, you fat oaf!  Wehoho!

Ale Knight: You little beanpole-- I've done my share of good, I'll ‘ave you know! Certainly enough for a blasted mug o' ale!
{NPC|Ale Knight|Facing|Right}
<[Listen in to the conversation.]|listen1>
<[Skip dialogue.]|skip1>


<<listen1>>
Wine Knight: Oh, aye?  Like what, exactly?

Ale Knight: W-Why, I... I stuck to a boar, the other day! Got the ol' bastard hangin' up on the wall at home!

Wine Knight: Mighty impressive indeed. I'm sure that pig farmer's lookin' all over the place for it.

Ale Knight: Why, you--! Well, what've you done recently that's so grand, ay?

Wine Knight: Saw a princess, of course.

Ale Knight: You hearin' this, {char|0|name}?  If ya got two legs and a bum, he'll call you princess, guaranteed! Heck, give ‘im a peck and I bet you'll be a queen in no time!
{NPC|Ale Knight|Facing|Left}

Wine Knight: You blasted buffoon! I expected too much of you to be able to discern what a real princess looks like!

Ale Knight: Aye, I'm sure yer mum's very proud of that princess o' hay you keep by the bed, gahaha!
{NPC|Ale Knight|Facing|Right}

Wine Knight: Laugh it up, laugh it up. I ain't seein' our ser knight here braggin' as much as you are. Cat got yer tongue, lad?

char0: Eh? I'm too inveshted in this beer to give a rat'sh bottom what you lot are braggin' about.

Ale Knight: Quite the mouth! And I suppose you've done yer bit fer the day, aye?

char0: Coursh I did, ye lummox. Shlayed a dragon and everythin'.

Ale Knight: ...

Wine Knight: ...

Ale Knight: Gahahaha! A dragon, he says!
{NPC|Ale Knight|Facing|Right}

Wine Knight: A dragon indeed! What, you find ‘im hangin' around the house? Weheheheho!

Ale Knight: I'm sure we'll be hearin' about poor fido and the pair o' wings you slapped on ‘im tomorrow, gahahaha!
{NPC|Ale Knight|Facing|Left}

char0: I ain't lyin', ye bashtards! T'wash a real dragon!

Ale Knight: There's only one dragon ye could be talkin' about, lad - the fat pink one that tore up Kingston.  And you look a little small to take 'er on.

char0: Huh?  Er...

Wine Knight: I don't suppose you found one o' the princesses either, aye? Or did it slip yer mind?

char0: Uh...

Ale Knight: Ha! He's full o' shite, this one! If yer gonna tell a lie, at least make it entertainin'! Gahaha!

Wine Knight: Speakin' o' princesses, though, I've got me eye on one. The one I saw, I'll ‘ave you know.
<[Listen in to the conversation.]|listen2>
<[Skip dialogue.]|skip1>

<<listen2>>
Ale Knight: Yer still on about that, huh? To tell you the truth, I've been lookin' at one too.
{NPC|Ale Knight|Facing|Right}

Wine Knight: Aye? On the count of three, we'll say their names. One, two... three!

Wine Knight: Human Princess!

Ale Knight: Yer mother!

Wine Knight: You--!

Ale Knight: Gahahaha! You make it too easy, lad. But alright, alright. I'll let ye in on a little secret. If there's one princess I'd save, it'd definitely be that slice o' kobold pie.

Wine Knight: Oh?  Into that sort, are we?

Ale Knight: Ave ye seen her, mate? She's thick in all the right places! No matter how many horns or claws she ‘as, the things I'd do with a girl like her...

Wine Knight: Alright, alright, keep it in yer pants. What makes you think you've got a chance with ‘er?

Ale Knight: Well, I was out an' about, doin' my knightly duties, when I picked up a conversation between a few o' the farmers from the Endless Fields.

Wine Knight: Aye, and?

Ale Knight: Apparently, there's been sightin's of the kobolds headin' north. If that's where the princess has been kidnapped, that's where I'll be!

Wine Knight: Noble, indeed.

Ale Knight: Is there a more noble pursuit?

Wine Knight: Than chasin' lizard tail? Try servin' yer own race!

Ale Knight: Tis a fool's errand, mate! Plush reptilian booty is far superior to any snobby, human girl.

Wine Knight: If ye want thick, the human princess is as thick as yer gonna get. That girl carries her weight like a goddess, with riches to suit!

Wine Knight: I'll be visitin' her father by the end of the week, you'll see! If they know where she's locked up, I'll be headin' there in no time!

Ale Knight: Tis noble, ‘tis noble. What about you, ye drunkard? What are your prospects for the future?
{NPC|Ale Knight|Facing|Left}

char0: Aye?  Myshelf?

Wine Knight: Good lord, you smell like you took a bath in the swill yer drinkin'.

char0: Aye, aye, I don't need yer commentary. Of coursh I've got plansh! In fact, I'm gonna... uh...
<Go reshcue one princess.  Jus' one.  Be happy.|rescue1>
<The princessesh-  I'mma marry themall.  All of them.|all>
<I'mma get rly big and stronk.  Yeah.  Noness biggn gaslfg.|big>
<I'mma become the emp- no, likesh a god emprah of everything.|emps>
<Iwill defeat ah dragon.|slay>
<Iwill fug a dargon.|lay>

<<rescue1>>
Wine Knight: Tha's the most sensible thing you've said all day!  I'll drink to that, even if ye got no chance!
{goto|skip2}

<<all>>
Wine Knight: All of em?  You're drunker than I thought!  You probably couldn't even rescue one!
{goto|skip3}

<<big>>
Wine Knight: Keep dreaming like that an' maybe you'll end up with half the muscles Ale's got!
{goto|skip3}

<<emps>>
Wine Knight: The only thing you'll be ruling over is empty bottles, the rate you're going!
{goto|skip3}

<<slay>>
Wine Knight: Poor Fido, now yer goin' after ‘is mum?
{goto|skip3}

<<lay>>
Wine Knight: Fido's wings on this guy's mother is the closest ye'll ever get!
{goto|skip3}



<<skip2>>
Ale Knight: Aye, aye!  To this drunken sod!
{goto|skip5}

<<skip3>>
Ale Knight: Gahahaha!
{goto|skip5}



<<skip1>>
char0: ...

char0: ...

char0: ...

<<skip5>>
char0: Where's mah drink!?!

Barkeep: Goddammit.  You assholes are driving off all the patrons.  Especially you.  I said to get out already.
<[Class: Fighter] Shut it.  Ah' was the best warr-irrr-orrer of mah class.|class_warrior>
<[Class: Knave] Shut it.  Ah' am quiet as a feaathuh.  M'not pathetic.|class_knave>
<[Class: Mage] Shut it.  Ah' know magic and shiiiet.|class_mage>


<<class_warrior>>
{setvariable|char|0|class|fighter|false}
{setequipment|char|0|0|Hauberk|0|0|false}
{setequipment|char|0|0|Arming Sword|0|0|false}
{setequipment|char|0|0|Round Shield|0|0|false}
{goto|select_home}

<<class_knave>>
{setvariable|char|0|class|knave}
{additem|gold|1}
{goto|select_home}

<<class_mage>>
{setvariable|char|0|class|mage}
{setequipment|char|0|0|Mojo Bag|0|0|false}
{bbos|add|Mojo Bag|equipment}
{goto|select_home}


<<select_home>>
Narrator: Select home kingdom.
<[High Forest]|high>
<[Endless Fields]|endless>
<[Grand Tower]|grand>
<[Fertile Factory]|fertile>
<[Frozen Church]|frozen>

<<high>>
<[Finalize Origin: Former soldier, knighted in High Forest but not from there.]|wanderer>
<[Finalize Origin: Lawman's son, father passed of old age.]|lawman>
<[Finalize Origin: Slums, former member of child gang, all vowed to become knights.]|urchin>
<[Back]|select_home>

<<endless>>
<[Finalize Origin: Propserous farmers, secret farming techniques.]|farmer>
<[Finalize Origin: Orphan, raised by blacksmith, killed one of debt collectors, ran.]|apprentice>
<[Back]|select_home>

<<grand>>
<[Finalize Origin: Dragon-blooded, now atoning for crimes.]|scion>
<[Finalize Origin: Village burned by scions, now seeking to avenge.]|avenger>
<[Back]|select_home>

<<fertile>>
<[Finalize Origin: Ran-away servant of foul goblin, parents remain indentured.]|runaway>
<[Back]|select_home>

<<frozen>>
<[Finalize Origin: Raised by skeletons.  Totally 100% normal childhood.]|skeletons>
<[Back]|select_home>



<<wanderer>>
{setvariable|char|0|homeland|High Forest}
{setvariable|char|0|origin|wanderer}
{goto|gender}

<<lawman>>
{setvariable|char|0|homeland|High Forest}
{setvariable|char|0|origin|lawman}
{goto|gender}

<<urchin>>
{setvariable|char|0|homeland|High Forest}
{setvariable|char|0|origin|urchin}
{goto|gender}

<<farmer>>
{setvariable|char|0|homeland|Endless Fields}
{setvariable|char|0|origin|farmer}
{goto|gender}

<<apprentice>>
{setvariable|char|0|homeland|Endless Fields}
{setvariable|char|0|origin|apprentice}
{goto|gender}

<<scion>>
{setvariable|char|0|homeland|Grand Tower}
{setvariable|char|0|origin|scion}
{goto|gender}

<<avenger>>
{setvariable|char|0|homeland|Grand Tower}
{setvariable|char|0|origin|avenger}
{goto|gender}

<<runaway>>
{setvariable|char|0|homeland|Fertile Factory}
{setvariable|char|0|origin|runaway}
{goto|gender}

<<skeletons>>
{setvariable|char|0|homeland|Frozen Church}
{setvariable|char|0|origin|skeletons}
{goto|gender}


<<gender>>
Barkeep: Okay, 'sir'.  Or, uh, ser.  Say, you are a dude under all that armor, right?

Wine Knight: Weheho!

Ale Knight: Gahaha!  You hear that, Wine Knight?

char0: ...!
<[Male, 'Ser Knight'] I'mma man goddarmit!|man>
<[Female, 'Ser Knight'] Arsh you bloody blind?!  I'mma woman goddarmit!|woman>
<[Female, 'Lady Knight'] I'mma lady goddarmit!  ...kick yoers ass.|lady>

<<woman>>
{setvariable|char|0|gender|female}
Barkeep: ...
{goto|gender2}

<<lady>>
{setvariable|char|0|gender|female}
{setvariable|char|0|name|Lady Knight}
Barkeep: ...
{goto|gender2}

<<gender2>>
Wine Knight: ...

Ale Knight: ...



<<man>>
Barkeep: Listen to me.  You don't pay, you don't get more booze.  It's as simple as that.  {ifvariable|char|0|male|true|  Don't make me beat your ass.}

Narrator: Muffled glass can be heard breaking within the cellar, down the stairs.
{NPC|Ale Knight|Facing|Right}
{NPC|Wine Knight|Facing|right}
{NPC|Barkeep|Facing|right}
{sound|play|glassbreak}

Barkeep: That better not be those damn Boneheads again!

Barkeep: Hey.  Listen.  You go downstairs and kill those Boneheads and I'll give you all the booze you could ever want.  I'll put drinks on the house for everyone.  Sound good?
{NPC|Ale Knight|Facing|Left}
{NPC|Wine Knight|Facing|left}
{NPC|Barkeep|Facing|left}

Ale Knight: Gahaha!  You're the great dragon slayer, go right ahead!

Wine Knight: Weheho!

char0: Uhhh...
<Sssounds pehfect.  I got'chu.|accept>
<[Skip tutorial]  Ffffffffuck no.  Gimme mah drank already, y' wothless Barkeep.|decline>


<<accept>>
{setvariable|tutorial|0.5}
{setquest|1|1|A Good Knight}
{end}


<<decline>>
Barkeep: You got it.  Your drink is right over here at the door.  Follow me.
{setvariable|tutorial|0}
{goto|finish_tutorial}


<<finish_tutorial>>
{setvariable|char|0|experience|maxexperience}
{playcinnematic|tutorial_end2}
{end}