Fender/Ibanez collaboration guitar

I proudly own a vintage 9 string 100th year anniversary Fender/Ibanez collaboration guitar with gold locking auto-tuners, levitation technology no-need-for-strap-buttons-or-strap-locks strap locks, 500 year old mahogany neck with diamond inlays from outer space, limestone body from the Egyptian pyramids, Jimi Hendrix x Tosin Abasi TheTwoWorldsCollide TheDumbestToneOnEarth Dumbucker solar powered active pickups both neck and bridge, and a built in water reservoir with a tube for hydration for on stage performance