Thread 105: Stories 31-45

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>AJ
"Changelings"
'Pinkie'
~~~

>...Hee hee...

'Did... did you just giggle?'

>No.

'It sounded like a giggle.'

>Weren't no gigglin'.

'Uh huh... and this has noooothing to do with them?'

>Can't have anythin' ta' do with them if there weren't no gigglin'.

'Riiight.'

"Uh, Princess? How long do we have to hold up these signs?"

>Yer' doin' great!

"...Not really an answer."

"I'm holding up the sign better than you."

"How!? We're holding it exactly the same!"

>He's doin' better.

"OH FUCK NO! I'm best holder!"

"YOU COULDN'T HOLD YOUR OWN BALLS RIGHT!"

"OH YEAH!?"

'...So, uh... Come to Sweet Apple Acres, eh? '

>They work fer' free.

'...Nice.'

Bro-hoof!

"BEST HOLDER!

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Luna]
{???}
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and check out my art request! Now for our main guests...the Pink Pony Club!!!
Applause

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>and I'm the crazy one! The P-team is here! You wanted help on a job, Princess Luna?

[No, I just need a temporary substitute. My more experienced night guards are handling my usual duties, but after some shuffling, we've come up short and need somepony to handle a recurring nightmare while I'm away.]

"Away? where are you going?"

[...Somewhere that's very important, now stop asking.]

'Do I get to blow something up?'

[Try not to. This pegasus has a recurring nightmare about fragile packages. They always end up shattering inside the box. Just keep her from breaking it or opening it and I'll be back to pick all of you up before you know it. Also do keep your distance until then...it's rude to interrupt dreams that aren't yours...Pinkie.]

>Hey, I was trying something new for my show. Plus my friends weren't too mad about it.

[...Right. I need to leave now, but remember what I said. Don't let it shatter, and don't let her open the box.]

>Simple enough. Have fun doing your important thing.

[Oh I will...]
Opens a door and leaves.

'This job sounds boring.'

"You never know what could happen. Maybe they have chocolate banana glory holes too."

>Uh...yeah...totally possible! Gotta love those chocolate banana glory holes...
*KRSH*
They turn to look and a wall-eyed grey pegasus panics over a box.

{NOOOOOO! How could this have gone so wrong!?}

>Aw she didn't say the exact line.
Derpy begins opening the box.

>"'WAIT NOOOOOOO!'"

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>SA
"18"
~~~

>Eighteen? You ready to go?

"..."

>We uh, we kinda have to actually leave the castle if we want to do this.

"... It's going to go wrong."

>Come again?

"This is too good to be true, and everytime that happens, something goes wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong."

>So... You wanna just... Not go?

"NO!... No, no no no... It's just..."

>...Hey, Eighteen?

"..."

>It'll be fine.

"..."

>It will be just fine.

"...okay."

>Okay?

"Okay."

>You ready to go?

"... Never been more ready in my life."

>Great! So... Mexicolt?

"..."

>Not that, gotcha.

"... Never been more ready..."

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NC
>AJ
~~~

>.... Wha- why're ya cuttin ta me!? Y'all cut away now!... Cut away ah said! Shoo! Gone with ya! Cut away!... CUT AWAY! You cut away right now or else Ah'll... Ah'll....

BOOM!

>... Ohhhh.... Cheeky fucker.

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OOCO
>AJ
"Pinkie"
~~~~

>AW HECK NAW!

"W-what?"

>Ah've had all Ah' can take and Ah' can't take no more!

"Applejack I just needed to-"

>Is there a sign on mah' dang door that Ah'm missin'!? Is there some kinda ad in the paper that says 'come on down ta' Applejack's bathroom! Anyone can join!' Is there!? Tell me right now if there is!

"There isn't but-"

>There must be, because that is the only reason, the ONLY reason Ah' could ever think that somehow, someway, ya'll got it in yer' dang heads that anyone can just come up and USE MAH GADDANG BATHROOM WHENEVER YA' PLEASE!

"..."

>WHAT DO YA' HAVE TA' SAY!?

"...M-mine is just getting fixed, I didn't think you'd mind if I took a quick bath..."

>...er-

"I'M SORRYYYYYY!"

SLAM!

>..........Ah' blame Celestia.

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 >Twilight
~~~

>It's almost ready...

It was with no lacking of relief that she said this, a sigh that left her lips in deep, rolling waves as the tension finally left her. Hopefully, by now, it should be ready.

At last, she should be able to bride the gap between reality, and the mind of the orb.

It wasn't complicated, once she had gotten her preliminary scans out of the way. Initially, she had thought it some kind of evil, corrupting force like Dark Magic that turned one to such brutal acts, she had thought it a way to control the mind, as changelings were wont to do. But, to her surprise, she found nothing of the sort.

So, instead, she had to look at it from a different angle...

It hit her, quite suddenly, what the problem was. A flash of inspiration drawn on by nothing else but Chrysalis's insistence that Sunset not be allowed near the thing. She understood, right then, what was causing it.

Or rather, she understood what she didn't understand.

She didn't know, exactly, what drove Sunset to the choices she made, she didn't know what consumed her, what brought her to trust a Queen Changeling from the dead before any of them, and that was the problem.

To know that, she would have to have seen all the choices and thoughts that brought her to such a place. She would have to see everything, all at one.

Like the orb...

It showed them the world, all of it, through Variolus's eyes. It did not twist the mind, no. It merely let them understand it, as that Queen did. It showed them the horrors in the context that made perfect sense to her, that Queen.

So the answer was simple. A way to see a single memory at a time, to prevent the flood as Chrysalis had made it. Not all at once, as the Queen so loved to do, but methodical, as she needed to do.

It was almost ready.

At last, Chrysalis would get all she wanted, and she, herself, would know of the changelings on a level unlike any other. Sharing knowledge, as it should be.

With her friend.

>She'll be so happy...

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>29
"Luna"
~~~

>...Are... Are thou even trying anymore?

"Go on! Thou thinks thou art so great, does thee not? Do it."

With a huff, the posh changeling turned his nose to the sky, away from the chipmunk innocently on the ground.

>Foolishness.

"Thou thinks only thine life matters, does thee not? Go on. Slay that creature of the earth, and gain prestige. We shall give to thee land and wealth, and then... thous shalt become a royal-"

ZAP!

"BY THE MOON OF THE DARKEST SKY!"

>There. Can we go on now?

"Though just slayed that innocent creature!"

>Innocent illusion.

"T'WAS NOT AN ILLUSION!"

>Oh, suuuure. In thine wisdom, merely did you go out and pick up some random beast of the land and whisk it away into a world that is, thus far, completely of illusion. Do I seem of simple mind? Does my speech and mannerisms not speak to you that I possess a mind within mine head? Ha. Ha I say! I laugh at thee with bitter cries for thinking me so slow that I would not realize it. Bah!

"..."

>Well, go on, congratulate me on a test well passed.

"...That was a real chipmunk."

>PSH! Still does thou hold to thine ideas? Come now, you didn't even change the ground! Everything is exactly the same as it was in the rest of the illusion!

"It was a real chipmunk."

>HA! Ohhh, I see, clinging to the con to hope that I will let the worm of doubt in? Ha. HA! Go on, say it again and a thousand times more!

"..."

>...well?

"...T-that was a real chipmunk."

>...That's stupid. How would thou have even caught a chipmunk?

"We just used magic! It's so easy!"

>Pfft, implying that thee grabbed a poor creature from the ground, used its very life as a test, when illusions are all thou used before? Without even telling unto me it was real? Bah! I don't believe it! I will not let your worm in!

"..."

>I said, I will not let your worm in-

"N-next test."

The darkness grabbed him again, much gentler than it had before, and he was gone.

"...the yellow one is going to be very irate with us..."

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>AJ
"Pinkie"
'Changelings'
~~~

>Pffft.

"I have been a great influence on you."

>Ah' don't know what'cha mean.

'Princess? Is, uh... is it really necessary for us to use our lasers to fix this giant cliff edge?'

'Well, it does look pretty dangerous.'

'Who the fuck builds a road on the side of a cliff anyway?'

'Without rails! No rails!'

>Yer' queen wanted me ta' make ya' show off yer' power, so yer' smoothin' it out.

'Isn't this just going to make a steep road instead?'

>Yep, but steep roads are like... normal.

'...She has a point.'

'I don't know...'

>Well, iffin' ya' don't like it, feel free ta' ask 'er!

'...'
'...So, keep shooting?'
'Keeping shooting.'

>Atta boy!

"...."

>What?

"Best influence."

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>Pennydrop
"Gwen"
'Idris'
~~~

To say the King of the Gryphons was livid simply did not do it justice. Cold in his anger though he was, it was still as well hidden as a ball of fire in the middle of tar.

'So, honey, when were you planning on telling me about this?'

To say the Queen gave a single care overestimated her on a level thought impossible to reach by mortal beings.

"Never, I was waiting for you to notice, oh great king. What did you think I was using vast swaths of our land for? Tennis courts?"

'...You like tennis.'

>Royals, please, lets save all the anger for the one who deserves it, alright? We've got work to do, after all.

Bitterly though it was, they did indeed set aside any further biting comments or words, drawn in once more to the vast wonders in front of them.

A hanger, deep beneath the earth's surface, hidden away from all eyes save those working beneath it tirelessly and furiously. They had been working around the clock for months now, assembling and digging ever since but a few days after the battle of Fillydelphia. Thousands upon thousands, all toiling away. Building the only thing to bring to bare against the threat it was made for, monsters. Building the thing that brought awe and wonder to the battle loving king. Idris was not one who hungered for war, to say, but the ideas within his head were nothing less than that of childish glee as he looked upon the thing before him.

His wife, on the other talon, had much different views.

"You are sure this will work?"

>Would I have come here personally otherwise?

"I did not think you would come here personally even if you were."

>Yes, well... I had to make sure this was done right, after all. If me being in the middle of it is what it takes to prevent another event... so be it.

The words, easily said, carefully constructed to be everything the Queen wanted to hear.

"...I will remember this, Pennydrop."

And every bit as effective as the mare knew it would be.

>If you think this is impressive, wait till you see what I really have to show. This, I assure you, is going to be something you, and all of your subjects will remember.

"So long as they are safe, I do not care if they think highly of me or not."

>Oh, come on, you can have a little bit of fun with this. He certainly is.

'...those are very big guns...'

>See?

"He would be impressed with a really big sword."

'Do you have one of those?'

>We do. It's made of lightning.

'...I like this mare.'

"Fair warning, if I see you staring, I'm slapping you."

>So possessive. That worried he'll stray?

"What makes you think I was talking to him?"

It was not a genuine laugh, not quite. It was strained, understandably so, as it left the trio.

>Are you ready? There isn't going to be any turning back when we get started. Either he is destroyed, turns around, or we're getting crushed.

"I am willing to die for my kingdom, a thousand times over if need be. That is not my concern. My concern is... if you're willing to do the same."

>Like I said... I'm here personally, aren't I?

That, as simple as it was, seemed to be enough.

"...As I said, Pennydrop... I will remember this."

'We all shall... assuming that we are around to remember it.'

Hook.
Line.
Sinker.

>Well then, lets give that seer and those wanna be royals something else to remember, shall we?

The lights above blared to life, and power crackled all around them with such force all extremities of feather or fur stood on end.

At last, the final battle for the gryphon kingdom would begin.

And, in her grand plan... it was but a step.

>Lets show them just how obsolete they are.

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OOCO
>Spike
‘Chrysalis’

>Sooooo….you want a gun?

‘What?’

>Well look, the way I figure, you can’t use magic right now right? Which means you’re basically reliant on me which can’t be fun for you.

‘…It is not.’

>So…I can loan you a gun, and then you aren’t totally dependent on me. See?

‘I’m not exactly adept with them.’

>Figured I’d let you use crackerjack2. It’s a shotgun so you don’t have to aim perfectly, just point it in the right direction and there’s a good chance you’ll hit.


‘…How would I hold it?’

>With your tongue. Obviously.

‘…you’re screwing with me.’

>No seriously! Here, look.

Whipping out his tongue he wrapped it securely around the stock of the weapon pulled its’ holster and brought the tip of his tongue to rest on the trigger.

>hike hiss

‘…’

>khishais?

‘…Well that explains some of the appeal I suppose..’

He grabbed the shotgun with his claws again, removing his tongue.

>Appeal? What are you talking about?

‘Seriously?’

>I’m baffled.

‘Nevermind. Look thanks for the offer but…yeah, not gonna try that.’

>Eh, suit yourself. Hey you notice this area is a bit…underpopulated?

‘…Y’know, I hadn’t noticed. But you have a point.’

>Maybe they’re all just hiding after the quake?

‘Let’s hope so…’

The alternative…did not appeal to her.

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>SA
"18"
~~~

A date.

She was on a real date.

A real date with the real Shining in the real perfect Empire in real life and the land of really really real.

>It's beautiful out tonight.

It was real.

It felt real.

It felt perfect.

So, why, she wondered... did she feel a sense of unease. A prickling, in the back of her neck.

Something...

"So beautiful."

Something she would worry of later.

This was real, and it was perhaps the only real moment like this she would ever get.

Time to make it last.

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OOCO
>Pinkie
"Dash"
'Rarity'
[FS]
~Twilight~
~~~~~

>Hey Party Ponies! It's time for another episode of PINKIES PARTY PATROLLERS!

"Is she ever going to stick on a name?"

'No.'

"...Huh."

[Wait, um... why is she here? Is she the new wildcard? Tell me she's the new wildcard.]

>NOPE! You're still all wildy and cardy!

[Oh dear...]

>Our buddy Twilight is here to tell us the Twience of how we're going to crash this party!

~Oh... I uh... I thought you just wanted to hang out.~

>This is hanging out! This counts!

"I feel like something's missing..."

>Nevermind! Twilight, give our viewers the low down on what this here party crasher is going to do!

~...That's a rocket.~

>WOW!

~Why are you wowing? It's just a rocket. It's a rocket. It goes boom.~

>So thus it's gonna use all that twience to make a big party crash!

~If by that you mean blow it up, yes. It's going to blow up whatever you point it at... boom.~

>WOWEE!

'I must protest!'

>There's my snobby!

'Snobby!? I am not a snob!'

>Psst, it's just a character, calm down.

'Maybe I don't want to be the snob character! Maybe we can just have Fluttershy worry about everything!'

[That would fit...]

>But then where's my wildcard?

'I'LL SHOW YOU A WILDCARD!'

BEEP!

'WILDCARD BITCHES!'

ZOOM!

>...Did she just turn that rocket on-

~HIT THE DIRT!~

"NOT AGAIIIIIIIIIN!"

BOOOOOOM

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Derpy]
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I managed to get another art request! Now for our main segment...Failing!

Derpy opens the box.
[No...noooooo! It's broken! This is all my fault!]

>We're too late!

"What do we do now!"

'...what was in the box?'

The all look in the box.
>...it's a dick in a box...a glass dick in a box.

"*gasps* Shield your eyes, DT!"

'Why? It's broken.'

>That's it? That doesn't seem to be a big deal.

[You don't understand. I was suppose to deliver that box. If I break another package I'm going to get fired!]

"Oh no! Let's glue it back together!"

'I could probably buy you a new one.'

>Or throw a we're sorry your package is broke party!

[It's over...it's all over. I messed up. It's over. It's over.]

Pinkie's tail twitches and a glass pegasus statue falls from the sky, shattering on the ground.
"Oh I don't like where this is going."
More glass shatter to the ground and soon glass shards litter the area.

{That's right. It's all your fault. All you do is break things. That's all you're good for.}
They turn to look back at the box and a pegasus who looks like Derpy climbs out, only she has glass shards sticking out everywhere on her body and has bloody empty eye sockets.
{Why do you have to be so clumsy?}

>...I'm not hitting that.
DT and Cadence turn and look at Pinkie.
>...what? She's all sharp and pointy!

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>AJ
"Big Mac"
~~~~

>So... things been okay round the farm while Ah'm gone?

"We're managin'."

>Ain't exactly what Ah' asked.

"Exactly what Ah' meant, though."

>...Really sorry fer' leavin' like that, did I ever say that?

"Eeenope."

>Nope?

"Nope."

>...Should'a.

"We understand. Gotta go save the world, after all. Can't be waitin' around fer' the apples to get ripe a'fore Nightmare Whatever comes calling again."

>Now that ain't fair, this here's important.

"It's a small slice in the big apple of Equestria, though. Ain't much in the grand scheme o' things."

>...it's a big slice ta' me...

"..."

>...Sorry I left at all. Really should'a... just...

"..."

>Can ya' ever forgive me?

"..."

Big, strong, powerful, yet gentle.

Just like she remembered it.

"Eeeyup."

>...Thanks.

"Don't think you gotta come see us just cause. We know it's... important."

>It ain't because of that, it's because... dang it, Mac, you're family... it means everything to me.

"...Me too..."

>Yer' still important, even iffin' it's just to me.

"...Ah'll take it... You gotta be headin' back?"

>Sunset can handle'em for a minute, don't you think?

"...Eyup."

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 >Celestia
"???"
~~~

>Oh, what a wonderful day. You know, I think I'm going to go see if Shiny wants to watch a movie and... oh, right, he's doing something. Well, I'm sure Applejack... er, right. Luna! Luna would love to... shoot... Chrysalis? Is she doing something?... I think she's doing something... Twilight?... Shoot, orb thing.... wheere's Pinkie... I wonder if she has a-

"DUCK!"

>Well, no, I don't need a duck, not after the last poor thing-

WHAM!

>...Ow.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, Princess!"

>...Glimmer! Hi! How is my favorite mother to the next generation of changelings?

"...Now, see, when you put it like that, it's both quite heavy and important, and yet so specific it feels token."

>It's not.

"Oh, well, if you say it's not."

>And I did! How's the homelife?

"Pretty good, I guess? He's pretty good with her, and does all the chores at the house, so I just get to come home and enjoy dinner."

>Sounds lovely!

"It is, I guess... little lacking in mares night outs, though. Feel like my girls have been neglected."

>Is that a euphemism? I understand he's probably tired when you come home, but-

"HA! No. See, greeeat things about changelings, you give them a love charge and it's like recharging a robot, VWOOOP! Up and attam!"

>Far too much information, but I'm glad you're willing to share.

"Er, sorry... soooo-"

>So why haven't you gotten out of my hair yet?

"Funny story, I think it's alive and consuming me."

>It does that. Was there a reason you went for my head?

"Oh! Sorry, urgent message from Luna. She says she needs you to distract Fluttershy while she buries a body."

>....

"...That's what the note says."

>...

"...Er-"

>I understand.

"...Can you help me out?"

>...

"Point taken."

>... I'm going to burn it all to the ground someday...

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