So, cards-on-the-table time. I listen to you and think about what you say because you have made good points and earned some trust, and because you make a real and consistent effort not to be cruel to people. You've been consistently truthful. When you make mistakes, you apologize for them. When you make errors, you retract them.

So I care what you have to say.

By contrast, I've seen Khan spread incorrect information, where maybe it was an error, but after she got absolutely unambiguous proof that it was incorrect, did she correct it? No. Apologize? Not really. Issue any kind of retraction? Hahaha no. She's very aggressive about spreading things when they make the people she's mad at look bad, even if they're unsourced or just plain false. I have lost count of the number of times Khan has contacted people after being asked to leave them alone, then done it again with new excuses. I think we were past five.

Moogle is viciously cruel to the point where I'd call it sadistic, has made many false accusations, and misquotes people constantly. She either has no reading comprehension skills or is outright lying about what people say. She's the only person on this forum I've had to ask for legal advice about liability issues when deciding whether to leave her posts up.

Leechkin is persistently cruel and derisive, actively attacks people, stirs shit regularly, accuses people of things they didn't do, and for all their talk about other people being "anti-recovery", has absolutely swept that category by refusing to ever acknowledge any progress anyone makes. Also, has specifically stated that there's no purpose in their participation except watching people suffer.

Void blames people for believing him when he panic-lies. I get that people who are traumatized can't always bring themselves to say things, and that's a real problem, and I don't expect people to be able to avoid it all the time. I do expect them to accept that if people believe you, it's not them being evil. He also blames people for a lot of other shit that cannot possibly be under their control.

If you think I am at all willing to let those dishonest, viciously cruel assholes tell me how I'm allowed to think and act with regards to abuse, I cannot imagine why. Most of the drama on this site they complain about, they cause. By trolling people, by telling people falsehoods, by escalating fights. So many things would have been quiet and easily resolved, but one of them got into it and everything blew up.

And the thing is, every time this happens, other people get hurt. When Facebook showed Alix a picture of Michi and said "do you know this person?", and Alix clicked "yes", Alix was absolutely being an asshole. But she wasn't actively seeking out any and all personal information and obsessively collecting it to "doxx" people, or demonstrating intent to do that. So when Michi and whoever else went around telling everyone that Alix was "doxxing" people, a bunch of people panicked and had all their mental health threads deleted. Do you think that made them any safer? It did not. Do you think it fucked them up, gave them panic attacks, and took away a resource they'd been benefitting from? It did.

So when Moogle says things that imply that I'm repurposing people's abuse stories, and that there was a hugely detailed account of Void being abused and it was all about Void, when actually there was a single offhand reference in a post that was entirely about someone else, and people get panicky and delete their support/brain stuff threads, they are getting hurt. When Moogle decides to post bullshit in the status box rather than in an appropriate forum, with the specific intent to push it in the faces of people who are intentionally avoiding that shit, those people are getting hurt. When Khan tells everyone that I thought it was okay that she got harassed, because she's a big girl, and they become afraid that the mods won't care if they get hurt, those people are getting hurt. When I write software to allow actual full-text searches of the forum including the PM system so I can find the actual message, and it's nothing fucking like that, and send it to her, and she doesn't actually go correct that, people stay hurt when they could have been reassured that it was a miscommunication.

And so on.

And they don't give a fuck. Moogle and Leechkin and Nai have all been absolutely 100% down with how much they hurt people. They don't apologize, they don't back down, they don't change their behavior, they don't try to get better. Khan is the only one other than you that I've ever seen apologize for a thing, rather than using any criticism as an excuse to tell more lies and start more drama.

And again, I'm absolutely not asking you to change them, or be on the hook for their behavior, or end your friendship with them. I know that's not how things work, and I'm not blaming you for being friends with your friends, or caring more about what's good in them than what's not. I know how that goes. And I believe that you're a good influence on them.

But I worry sometimes that you don't see this stuff. That you aren't aware of how much they've lied, of how much they've hurt people. Believe me, I know what it's like to want to make excuses for people because they're under a lot of stress or whatever. I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't be their friend or value their friendship, I'm just not sure you understand how much harm they've done to the people who aren't their friends.

Why don't I tell them this? Well, I've gone no-contact with Moogle because she's an untruthful abusive asshole, and I've told her as much more than once. Leechkin has explicitly asked that the mods never contact them in any way about anything. Void has made it pretty clear he doesn't want to hear from me, which is pretty mutual. I could in theory talk to Khan, but you know what, I did and she didn't do a damn thing, so.

Why not post this? Because no matter how much people pick fights with me, I don't think they actually want me to fight them, and Moogle and Void really have enough shit going on without being called out for this bullshit.

Why not just ignore it? Because it keeps happening.

The purpose of this isn't to make you do a thing, it's to make it clear that there are actual considered reasons I'm not paying any attention at all to what those people say about abuse.