trump roast

Cheats on wife #1 with #2. Cheats on #2; bragged about both. Admits he buys politicians. Admires Vladimir Putin & Kim Jong-il but throws a hissy fit at Megan Kelly while calling Sen. Ted Cruz a pussy. Defends China for their actions in Tiananmen Square that lead to the massacre of thousands. Gets his news from the National Enquirer and believes Sen. Cruz's father was a co-conspirator of Lee Harvey Oswald. Believes that Syria could be a safe haven for ISIS. Has no idea what the Nuclear Triad is. Says Sen John McCain isn't a war hero; just dumb enough to get caught. Ridicules a reporter with a disability. Makes jokes about a woman’s menstrual cycle & said when Sec. Clinton used a restroom, it was ‘disgusting’. Says a 'flat chested' woman can't be a '10'. Accused of RAPE by his first wife in 1989; she later described the incident as 'feeling violated'. Calls Mexicans rapists & murderers and actually believes he can deport 11,000,000 of them. Is on record saying 'there will be a deportation force'. Advocated the US commit war crimes by 'killing their families' when talking about terrorists and wants us to torture combatants - then reversed this position on March 4th, the day after the debate where he bragged about the size of his penis. He has reversed this again following the terror attacks in Belgium. Said in 2002 that the US should 'surgically remove Gaddafii' and that 'invading Iraq was a good idea'. He now blames the current administration for destabilizing that area that lead to the creation of ISIS - both of these actions were lead by NATO, not the US. Evaded the draft FIVE TIMES but says his prep-school training gives him more experience than most in the military. Says he knows more about ISIS than the Generals leading the fight against ISIS. He is the 'Chameleon Candidate' and will say whatever is needed to get a vote; he is a 'Verbal Prostitute'. He said he saw 'thousands of Muslims cheering' on Sept. 11 - a total LIE, it did not happen. LIED repeatedly that he was 'self funding' his campaign - his webpage has TWO DONATE buttons. Has filed bankruptcy FOUR TIMES, leaving thousands of workers & vendors without money owed to them but says 'successful businesses file for bankruptcy all the time.' Claims he is worth $10B but his May FEC filing indicates his net worth at a mere $165M. His economic policies of imposing tariffs on Mexico, Japan and China will cost the average American household $2200 a year. Believes that Global Warming is a hoax invented by the Chinese to 'make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive' but has filed for a permit to build a retaining wall at his golf course in Ireland, citing 'global warming and erosion' as the cause. Insisted that Mitt Romney release his tax returns but refuses to do the same, saying his effective tax rate is 'none of your business', and claims he won't release them while being audited, even though Nixon did.